1
00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:05,043
This programme contains strong
language and adult humour.

2
00:00:35,483 --> 00:00:37,003
Hello. You got an appointment?

3
00:00:37,043 --> 00:00:38,443
Yes. Final interview.

4
00:00:38,483 --> 00:00:39,883
Substantive interview.

5
00:00:39,923 --> 00:00:41,803
Sorry, substantive interview.

6
00:00:41,843 --> 00:00:43,563
Sign in with my colleague inside.

7
00:00:43,603 --> 00:00:45,963
Oh, no, no.
My appointment is on Monday.

8
00:00:46,003 --> 00:00:48,843
I am just planning my route,
so I don't get lost.

9
00:00:48,883 --> 00:00:51,123
Good idea. One hour, 38 minutes.

10
00:00:51,163 --> 00:00:52,603
Nice.

11
00:00:52,643 --> 00:00:54,403
I'm going to give myself two hours.

12
00:00:54,443 --> 00:00:56,483
Good to be on the safe side.

13
00:00:59,523 --> 00:01:02,923
So, this is Croydon?

14
00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:06,003
Yep, welcome to the Cronx.

15
00:01:08,243 --> 00:01:09,763
Shit, innit?

16
00:01:09,803 --> 00:01:10,843
Little bit.

17
00:01:11,883 --> 00:01:14,323
I reckon that's why they chose it.

18
00:01:14,363 --> 00:01:16,563
Make sure you know what you're
signing up to.

19
00:01:20,283 --> 00:01:22,043
Tough country this.

20
00:01:22,083 --> 00:01:24,883
It's not all Beefeaters
and blow jobs, you know what I mean?

21
00:01:24,923 --> 00:01:27,163
Indeed. Yeah.

22
00:01:29,083 --> 00:01:31,483
Thousand years from now, they'll
look back at the ruins of all this

23
00:01:31,523 --> 00:01:33,203
and think,

24
00:01:33,243 --> 00:01:34,923
"What the fuck, is it?"

25
00:01:36,323 --> 00:01:38,203
Be like a crap Stonehenge.

26
00:01:39,203 --> 00:01:40,443
Stone what?

27
00:01:40,483 --> 00:01:41,883
Stonehenge.

28
00:01:41,923 --> 00:01:43,403
Stone henge?

29
00:01:43,443 --> 00:01:44,923
Stonehenge.

30
00:01:44,963 --> 00:01:46,523
See you Monday.

31
00:01:46,563 --> 00:01:47,603
See you.

32
00:02:07,403 --> 00:02:09,363
Find it?

33
00:02:09,403 --> 00:02:10,643
Yes.

34
00:02:10,683 --> 00:02:11,963
One hour and 38 minutes.

35
00:02:12,003 --> 00:02:13,523
Good on ya.

36
00:02:13,563 --> 00:02:15,403
You all right? Mm-hm.

37
00:02:18,243 --> 00:02:19,803
Hi, John. Hm.

38
00:02:20,963 --> 00:02:22,123
Chocolate spread?

39
00:02:22,163 --> 00:02:24,403
Half-term treat. Not Marmite?

40
00:02:26,043 --> 00:02:28,043
I'm not making that mistake again.

41
00:02:28,083 --> 00:02:30,123
Do you want some bread
with that? Mm?

42
00:02:30,163 --> 00:02:31,443
No, thank you.

43
00:02:31,483 --> 00:02:34,043
I do not need
a delivery mechanism.

44
00:02:34,083 --> 00:02:35,363
I like this one.

45
00:02:35,403 --> 00:02:36,483
What is this?

46
00:02:36,523 --> 00:02:37,843
It's Jerusalem.

47
00:02:37,883 --> 00:02:41,603
Named after the famous
Israeli hot potato.

48
00:02:41,643 --> 00:02:44,643
It's like everyone secretly wants it
to be the National Anthem... Mm-hm.

49
00:02:44,683 --> 00:02:47,043
..and we can't have it
because of God Save The Queen.

50
00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:48,723
You don't like God Save The Queen?

51
00:02:48,763 --> 00:02:49,843
No-one does.

52
00:02:49,883 --> 00:02:51,563
That's why we only have one verse.

53
00:02:51,603 --> 00:02:54,283
Sami, liking Jerusalem,
it's basically as patriotic

54
00:02:54,323 --> 00:02:56,363
as it's acceptable
for a British person to be.

55
00:02:56,403 --> 00:02:57,923
Any more than that - nutter.

56
00:02:57,963 --> 00:02:59,683
I don't know about that. I do!

57
00:02:59,723 --> 00:03:02,443
One day it's Jerusalem,
next you're going to air shows

58
00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:05,483
and wanking over jigsaws
of Princess Anne.

59
00:03:05,523 --> 00:03:08,323
Christ... I need to clear
this freezer out.

60
00:03:08,363 --> 00:03:10,883
I've got fish fingers as old
as Stonehenge in here.

61
00:03:10,923 --> 00:03:12,123
Who?

62
00:03:12,163 --> 00:03:14,203
Fish fingers.
No, no, the other word?

63
00:03:14,243 --> 00:03:16,203
Stonehenge. Stonehenge.

64
00:03:16,243 --> 00:03:20,283
Stonehenge! Why is everybody
talking about Stonehenge today?

65
00:03:20,323 --> 00:03:22,843
I'm sorry, Sami, I don't know what
you mean. You all right?

66
00:03:22,883 --> 00:03:25,203
Yes, yes. Stonehenge.

67
00:03:28,603 --> 00:03:30,283
So...

68
00:03:30,323 --> 00:03:31,763
You know henges?

69
00:03:31,803 --> 00:03:33,203
Well, this is a stone one.

70
00:03:33,243 --> 00:03:35,523
I don't know henges!
What is a henge?

71
00:03:35,563 --> 00:03:37,643
I'm just joking, calm down.
Why am I so angry?

72
00:03:37,683 --> 00:03:38,723
Culture shock.

73
00:03:38,763 --> 00:03:39,963
The W curve.

74
00:03:40,003 --> 00:03:42,883
The double... Ugh, another British
thing I don't know.

75
00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:44,243
What is this?

76
00:03:45,643 --> 00:03:49,323
When you enter a new culture,
you suffer from culture shock.

77
00:03:49,363 --> 00:03:52,123
Now, people used to think this
was like a U.

78
00:03:52,163 --> 00:03:54,643
So, "This place is great,"

79
00:03:54,683 --> 00:03:56,763
"Hang on, I don't get this,"
happy again.

80
00:03:56,803 --> 00:04:00,803
But actually, it's more like a W.

81
00:04:00,843 --> 00:04:03,203
Honeymoon period,
"Everything's shit,"

82
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,923
"Hang on, I've cracked this"
false dawn,

83
00:04:04,963 --> 00:04:07,163
"Fuck it, no, I haven't,"
"Yes, I have."

84
00:04:07,203 --> 00:04:08,603
You're in the "Fuck it" phase.

85
00:04:11,003 --> 00:04:12,323
How do you know this?

86
00:04:12,363 --> 00:04:14,563
Sociology degree. Leeds.

87
00:04:14,603 --> 00:04:16,163
You are a brain box.

88
00:04:16,203 --> 00:04:19,603
Mate, when you look like this, you
better have something to talk about,

89
00:04:19,643 --> 00:04:22,243
otherwise people are
just going to use you for sex.

90
00:04:22,283 --> 00:04:23,443
I see this now.

91
00:04:23,483 --> 00:04:24,563
Sami...

92
00:04:25,923 --> 00:04:28,603
Look, this interview, Monday,

93
00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:31,603
it's not Round Britain quiz.

94
00:04:31,643 --> 00:04:34,323
It's you they're interested in.

95
00:04:34,363 --> 00:04:35,483
You know that.

96
00:04:35,523 --> 00:04:40,683
I know, but still, everybody knows
about the Stones Henge and I don't.

97
00:04:40,723 --> 00:04:42,643
I feel on the outside again.

98
00:04:43,883 --> 00:04:46,563
You feel on the outside?

99
00:04:46,603 --> 00:04:50,803
I want to feel back on the inside.
How do I feel back on the inside?

100
00:04:50,843 --> 00:04:52,163
Get in the car.

101
00:04:57,923 --> 00:04:59,403
Where are we going?

102
00:04:59,443 --> 00:05:01,043
Shut up and look pretty.

103
00:05:05,443 --> 00:05:07,363
This country is very pretty.

104
00:05:09,523 --> 00:05:13,003
All these little cottages,
very cute.

105
00:05:13,043 --> 00:05:15,563
Quaint. Quaint?

106
00:05:15,603 --> 00:05:17,323
Unusual, old-fashioned.

107
00:05:17,363 --> 00:05:18,683
Peter is quaint.

108
00:05:18,723 --> 00:05:21,323
Peter is fucking quaint.

109
00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:24,923
I think he loves you very much.

110
00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:30,083
I'm waiting for him
to take the lead.

111
00:05:32,043 --> 00:05:35,003
Tell me what
he really wants us to be.

112
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:36,083
I think he will.

113
00:05:38,163 --> 00:05:41,003
And you and Yasmine,
what will you be, I wonder?

114
00:05:42,043 --> 00:05:43,163
Find out Monday.

115
00:05:45,323 --> 00:05:50,883
Good interview, maybe we all go
live in that quaint farm over there.

116
00:05:50,923 --> 00:05:52,843
Bad interview...

117
00:05:52,883 --> 00:05:54,083
..Berlin.

118
00:05:54,123 --> 00:05:56,363
She still not talking to you?

119
00:05:56,403 --> 00:05:57,483
No.

120
00:06:15,363 --> 00:06:16,523
It's, um...

121
00:06:18,163 --> 00:06:19,883
It's going quite well...

122
00:06:19,923 --> 00:06:20,963
..isn't it?

123
00:06:21,003 --> 00:06:22,563
What?

124
00:06:22,603 --> 00:06:24,403
With us?

125
00:06:24,443 --> 00:06:25,923
I'm having fun.

126
00:06:27,363 --> 00:06:28,363
Me too.

127
00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:31,763
Me too. What was it
like when you left us?

128
00:06:35,323 --> 00:06:36,763
I felt alone, John.

129
00:06:36,803 --> 00:06:38,603
Bet you felt like a bit
of a dickhead.

130
00:06:39,723 --> 00:06:42,203
Promise me you'll never work
for Samaritans.

131
00:06:42,243 --> 00:06:43,803
Yeah. Thank you.

132
00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:49,163
Listen, John,

133
00:06:49,203 --> 00:06:51,603
I know we've
already talked about it

134
00:06:51,643 --> 00:06:54,203
but I just wanted to say -

135
00:06:54,243 --> 00:06:56,123
and this is your choice by the way,

136
00:06:56,163 --> 00:06:58,883
so if you don't want to that's
absolutely fine -

137
00:06:58,923 --> 00:07:00,683
but if you did want to,

138
00:07:00,723 --> 00:07:01,843
I...

139
00:07:01,883 --> 00:07:03,563
..wouldn't mind...

140
00:07:03,603 --> 00:07:04,963
..if you...

141
00:07:05,003 --> 00:07:06,723
..called me Dad.

142
00:07:06,763 --> 00:07:09,123
But I have a dad.

143
00:07:09,163 --> 00:07:11,763
Yes, I know, but...

144
00:07:11,803 --> 00:07:14,123
..some people have two dads.

145
00:07:14,163 --> 00:07:16,163
Like who? Um...

146
00:07:17,203 --> 00:07:19,883
Well, Jesus had two.

147
00:07:19,923 --> 00:07:22,483
But the point is you
could call me...

148
00:07:22,523 --> 00:07:23,763
I'm not calling you God.

149
00:07:23,803 --> 00:07:26,803
..and I wouldn't want you
to call me God.

150
00:07:26,843 --> 00:07:29,043
I could call you Joseph,
if you want?

151
00:07:29,083 --> 00:07:31,523
Yes, that would feel like
a missed opportunity somehow.

152
00:07:31,563 --> 00:07:33,323
Just call me Dad?
Maybe just call me Dad.

153
00:07:33,363 --> 00:07:36,803
I'm not calling you Dad.
Right, OK, well, that's fine.

154
00:07:36,843 --> 00:07:38,563
I could call you dude.

155
00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:43,723
Do you know I'd take that,
actually?

156
00:07:48,083 --> 00:07:49,803
Nice to meet you, dude.

157
00:07:49,843 --> 00:07:51,643
Nice to meet you...

158
00:07:51,683 --> 00:07:52,843
..dude.

159
00:07:52,883 --> 00:07:54,883
Don't leave us again.

160
00:07:54,923 --> 00:07:56,643
I won't.

161
00:07:56,683 --> 00:07:59,203
I think Mum needs to know.
Know what?

162
00:07:59,243 --> 00:08:00,683
That you're staying.

163
00:08:09,843 --> 00:08:12,843
That's it? That's it.

164
00:08:12,883 --> 00:08:14,123
That's it.

165
00:08:15,683 --> 00:08:17,603
So, what is it?

166
00:08:19,043 --> 00:08:20,163
No-one knows.

167
00:08:22,843 --> 00:08:24,123
Sorry?

168
00:08:24,163 --> 00:08:25,723
No-one knows what it is.

169
00:08:25,763 --> 00:08:27,323
No, I mean what is it for?

170
00:08:27,363 --> 00:08:28,763
No-one knows.

171
00:08:28,803 --> 00:08:30,643
Well, who built it?

172
00:08:30,683 --> 00:08:31,883
No-one knows.

173
00:08:34,803 --> 00:08:37,643
Feel better? Yes, actually.

174
00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:40,643
Everything gets forgotten,
eventually.

175
00:08:40,683 --> 00:08:42,723
Gangnam Style,

176
00:08:42,763 --> 00:08:44,883
Ed Miliband.

177
00:08:44,923 --> 00:08:47,323
No wonder we don't know
what the fuck they are

178
00:08:47,363 --> 00:08:48,363
and that's OK.

179
00:08:50,043 --> 00:08:51,963
Any questions?

180
00:08:52,003 --> 00:08:53,043
No.

181
00:08:55,923 --> 00:08:57,283
Shall we go home?

182
00:09:16,523 --> 00:09:18,603
It's a beautiful evening.

183
00:09:18,643 --> 00:09:21,243
Shall we go for a walk? All of us?

184
00:09:21,283 --> 00:09:23,123
No, just you and me.

185
00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:25,483
Are you going to murder me?

186
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:26,563
No.

187
00:09:26,603 --> 00:09:27,803
All right.

188
00:09:39,523 --> 00:09:41,243
It's a big day for Sami tomorrow.

189
00:09:41,283 --> 00:09:44,443
Well, he's got his chance to change
his life for the better.

190
00:09:44,483 --> 00:09:46,123
Good luck, Sami. Mm.

191
00:09:47,603 --> 00:09:50,363
Bloody hell, what's this?

192
00:09:50,403 --> 00:09:52,323
Don't know.

193
00:09:52,363 --> 00:09:55,643
I thought the Dorking Satanists
met on Wednesdays.

194
00:09:55,683 --> 00:09:57,363
Oh, my God,
you are going to murder me.

195
00:09:59,243 --> 00:10:02,003
No, um, but getting back
to what we were saying.

196
00:10:02,043 --> 00:10:03,483
Uh...

197
00:10:03,523 --> 00:10:06,843
..I actually feel like Sami's
changed my life

198
00:10:06,883 --> 00:10:08,603
for the better, actually.

199
00:10:08,643 --> 00:10:12,563
I mean, he's made me realise what
a wonderful family you both are,

200
00:10:12,603 --> 00:10:14,283
you and John. Aw.

201
00:10:16,483 --> 00:10:17,683
Especially you.

202
00:10:19,043 --> 00:10:23,123
And I've also realised how close
I came to messing that up...

203
00:10:24,963 --> 00:10:26,923
..and I don't want to do that again.

204
00:10:26,963 --> 00:10:28,243
So...

205
00:10:29,483 --> 00:10:30,963
..with that in mind...

206
00:10:31,003 --> 00:10:33,243
Oh, God. ..Katy...

207
00:10:38,403 --> 00:10:40,163
..will you marry me?

208
00:10:41,123 --> 00:10:42,683
Of course I fucking won't.

209
00:10:44,563 --> 00:10:47,723
I'm sorry, what? Do you know what?
This is typical you!

210
00:10:47,763 --> 00:10:52,043
We were doing so well, taking things
slowly and you've got to ruin it!

211
00:10:53,523 --> 00:10:55,363
I wanted to let you know
I'm here to stay.

212
00:10:55,403 --> 00:10:57,723
Stop locking the toilet door,

213
00:10:57,763 --> 00:11:01,403
top up the rinse aid, don't do this.

214
00:11:01,443 --> 00:11:03,003
What the fuck's this?

215
00:11:03,043 --> 00:11:04,563
No, no, no, no, no, no!

216
00:11:05,963 --> 00:11:08,683
Oh, that is just perfect!

217
00:11:10,923 --> 00:11:13,843
Please, Yasmine,
my interview is tomorrow.

218
00:11:13,883 --> 00:11:15,963
I have been trying all weekend.

219
00:11:17,523 --> 00:11:20,163
Please let me know you are OK.

220
00:11:21,363 --> 00:11:23,683
This feels like when you were lost.

221
00:11:24,683 --> 00:11:26,683
I don't want to lose you again.

222
00:11:34,643 --> 00:11:36,763
I don't want to lose you again.

223
00:12:32,843 --> 00:12:34,963
Substantive interview?

224
00:12:35,003 --> 00:12:37,163
Ah, yes.

225
00:12:38,763 --> 00:12:40,443
Sami, Syria.

226
00:12:40,483 --> 00:12:42,163
Amir, Iran.

227
00:12:44,043 --> 00:12:45,883
Looking very Christian today, Amir.

228
00:12:45,923 --> 00:12:47,563
I am Christian.

229
00:12:47,603 --> 00:12:49,523
Ask me favourite pop singer.

230
00:12:49,563 --> 00:12:51,483
Who's your fav... Cliff Richard.

231
00:12:54,323 --> 00:12:56,723
You were Christian in Iran.
That can't be easy.

232
00:12:56,763 --> 00:12:58,843
No, no. I arrive in UK,

233
00:12:58,883 --> 00:13:01,243
then, praise God,

234
00:13:01,283 --> 00:13:03,283
I discover Jesus.

235
00:13:03,323 --> 00:13:04,883
Church baptizes me.

236
00:13:04,923 --> 00:13:06,963
My faith is now Church of England.

237
00:13:07,003 --> 00:13:11,163
This sadly means if I go back
to Iran, I will be persecuted.

238
00:13:12,283 --> 00:13:14,763
With a heavy heart,
I must stay here.

239
00:13:17,763 --> 00:13:20,643
Did you convert...?
Ask me my favourite cathedral.

240
00:13:20,683 --> 00:13:23,763
What is your favo...
Hereford Cathedral.

241
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:26,883
You think I will say
St Paul's Cathedral?

242
00:13:26,923 --> 00:13:28,443
No, no, Hereford Cathedral.

243
00:13:28,483 --> 00:13:31,563
This beautiful building is home
to a community

244
00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:36,243
that has worshipped together
for over 1,300 years.

245
00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:37,843
Are you quoting from the website?

246
00:13:37,883 --> 00:13:39,923
No.

247
00:13:39,963 --> 00:13:42,403
The cathedral is open
daily from...

248
00:13:42,443 --> 00:13:44,323
From 9:15 until evensong.

249
00:13:44,363 --> 00:13:45,803
You are quoting from the website.

250
00:13:45,843 --> 00:13:48,043
No! Which you are warmly
invited to attend.

251
00:13:48,083 --> 00:13:50,043
Thank you. How to get to us?

252
00:13:50,083 --> 00:13:52,243
Come off at junction 4 on the M50.

253
00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:58,843
Well, that's me.

254
00:13:58,883 --> 00:14:00,043
Good luck.

255
00:14:01,083 --> 00:14:02,243
You are Muslim?

256
00:14:03,923 --> 00:14:06,763
No. I'm Christian too.

257
00:14:06,803 --> 00:14:07,803
Syrian Christian.

258
00:14:17,403 --> 00:14:18,803
Will you follow me, please?

259
00:15:00,843 --> 00:15:03,963
Hello? Sami Ibrahim?

260
00:15:52,483 --> 00:15:53,723
Is he from Damascus?

261
00:15:53,763 --> 00:15:56,203
Yeah.

262
00:16:17,963 --> 00:16:19,723
I might have overreacted.

263
00:16:21,043 --> 00:16:22,083
Nope.

264
00:16:23,403 --> 00:16:24,403
You're right.

265
00:16:25,803 --> 00:16:27,643
I was a bit keen.

266
00:16:27,683 --> 00:16:29,803
Softly, softly, catchee monkey.

267
00:16:30,803 --> 00:16:32,003
Yes.

268
00:16:32,043 --> 00:16:34,643
That was more Planet Of The Apes.

269
00:16:34,683 --> 00:16:35,683
Yes, it was.

270
00:16:39,283 --> 00:16:40,683
Shouldn't have tried.

271
00:16:40,723 --> 00:16:41,923
Oh...

272
00:16:41,963 --> 00:16:43,163
..keep trying.

273
00:16:45,763 --> 00:16:47,323
Just give it a bit.

274
00:16:51,603 --> 00:16:53,563
Come on, shall we go home
and wait for him?

275
00:17:03,643 --> 00:17:05,683
Was it expensive?

276
00:17:05,723 --> 00:17:07,683
Well...

277
00:17:07,723 --> 00:17:09,803
..it depends what you
call expensive.

278
00:17:09,843 --> 00:17:11,443
Where did you buy it from?

279
00:17:12,523 --> 00:17:13,683
Pret a Manger.

280
00:17:41,563 --> 00:17:42,803
Quite a read, isn't it?

281
00:17:42,843 --> 00:17:43,843
Mm.

282
00:17:45,323 --> 00:17:47,523
Wait till you see what
happens in the sequel.

283
00:17:47,563 --> 00:17:48,563
Hm.

284
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:53,883
Protest at Damascus University
in April 2011.

285
00:17:54,963 --> 00:17:57,963
11th April, yes, in Baramkeh.

286
00:17:58,003 --> 00:18:02,363
I... I was there.
Early. Small protest.

287
00:18:02,403 --> 00:18:03,883
I was detained, beaten.

288
00:18:03,923 --> 00:18:05,883
Yes, you've given us
that information.

289
00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:10,443
Nearly lunchtime.
Let's not jeopardise our appetites.

290
00:18:12,963 --> 00:18:14,043
What are you having?

291
00:18:15,923 --> 00:18:17,603
Sorry? For lunch?

292
00:18:19,483 --> 00:18:21,043
Um, sandwich.

293
00:18:29,683 --> 00:18:30,923
Cheese and pickle?

294
00:18:33,323 --> 00:18:35,203
I might go Indian.

295
00:18:35,243 --> 00:18:37,523
New tiffin place down the road,
quite fancy it,

296
00:18:37,563 --> 00:18:39,163
but Indian for lunch...

297
00:18:39,203 --> 00:18:41,443
Seems risky somehow,
Indian for lunch.

298
00:18:41,483 --> 00:18:44,963
Like one is playing
with fire, both...

299
00:18:45,003 --> 00:18:46,963
..metaphorically...

300
00:18:47,003 --> 00:18:48,123
..and anally.

301
00:18:50,083 --> 00:18:53,003
Yes. Your wife and child
are in Berlin? Yes.

302
00:18:53,043 --> 00:18:54,243
Pretty.

303
00:18:54,283 --> 00:18:57,203
And they will join you here pending
a successful application?

304
00:18:57,243 --> 00:18:58,723
Pending? In the event of.

305
00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:00,883
Oh, yes, I hope so.

306
00:19:00,923 --> 00:19:04,603
Hope so? I mean, yes, probably.

307
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:06,043
Trouble in paradise?

308
00:19:06,083 --> 00:19:08,363
It's hard trying to get everybody
together in one place.

309
00:19:08,403 --> 00:19:11,603
Oh, I agree. I took my family
to Chessington last weekend.

310
00:19:11,643 --> 00:19:13,363
Nearly had to call
the fucking Red Cross.

311
00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:15,003
Christian. Huh?

312
00:19:15,043 --> 00:19:17,123
You're a Syrian Christian? Yes.

313
00:19:17,163 --> 00:19:19,563
How vivid.
Been to some nice churches here?

314
00:19:20,963 --> 00:19:25,043
Sorry? You're Christian.
You will have visited a church.

315
00:19:25,083 --> 00:19:26,803
To be honest...

316
00:19:26,843 --> 00:19:28,643
..I've lost my faith a little bit.

317
00:19:28,683 --> 00:19:30,123
Lost it?

318
00:19:30,163 --> 00:19:33,643
Yes, it's not much room
for God on a leaky dinghy.

319
00:19:33,683 --> 00:19:36,803
So you had a Road to Damascus moment
on the road from Damascus?

320
00:19:38,083 --> 00:19:39,963
I suppose so.

321
00:19:40,003 --> 00:19:41,283
That's convenient.

322
00:19:48,443 --> 00:19:50,763
Hereford Cathedral.

323
00:19:50,803 --> 00:19:52,323
I'm sorry?

324
00:19:52,363 --> 00:19:55,563
I've been to Hereford Cathedral.

325
00:19:55,603 --> 00:20:00,363
People have been going there
for 1,300 years.

326
00:20:00,403 --> 00:20:02,923
You take the M50 junction.

327
00:20:02,963 --> 00:20:04,603
I said "The road to Damascus"
earlier.

328
00:20:04,643 --> 00:20:06,603
Did you understand what that meant?

329
00:20:06,643 --> 00:20:09,083
I think so.
It's from the New Testament.

330
00:20:09,123 --> 00:20:11,603
A disciple travelled
from Jerusalem to Damascus

331
00:20:11,643 --> 00:20:14,323
and the Lord appeared to him
in a vision. Yes.

332
00:20:14,363 --> 00:20:15,563
Which disciple?

333
00:20:19,643 --> 00:20:22,123
Saul. Paul.

334
00:20:22,163 --> 00:20:23,163
With a P.

335
00:20:24,963 --> 00:20:27,083
Let's see what other parts
of the Bible we don't know.

336
00:20:27,123 --> 00:20:28,643
Ten Commandments. I'll start.

337
00:20:28,683 --> 00:20:30,323
Thou shalt not lie.

338
00:20:35,363 --> 00:20:36,803
Thou shalt not commit adultery.

339
00:20:36,843 --> 00:20:38,203
Keep the Sabbath day holy.

340
00:20:40,083 --> 00:20:41,283
No graven images.

341
00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:42,443
Thou shalt not kill.

342
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:46,723
Thou shalt not covet
thy neighbour's goods.

343
00:20:46,763 --> 00:20:48,043
Thou shalt not steal.

344
00:20:48,083 --> 00:20:50,243
Thou shalt not covet thy
neighbour's wife.

345
00:20:51,603 --> 00:20:52,963
Ah, for God's sake.

346
00:20:53,003 --> 00:20:55,403
Thou shalt not take
the Lord's name in vain.

347
00:20:57,603 --> 00:20:59,563
Cocky bastard.

348
00:20:59,603 --> 00:21:01,883
Though shalt honour thy mother
and father...

349
00:21:03,283 --> 00:21:04,843
..and Bob is your uncle.

350
00:21:04,883 --> 00:21:06,203
I make that ten.

351
00:21:07,523 --> 00:21:11,163
Oh, that disciple
on the way to Damascus,

352
00:21:11,203 --> 00:21:15,763
he changed his name to Paul,
but when it happened it was Saul...

353
00:21:15,803 --> 00:21:17,523
..with an S.

354
00:21:17,563 --> 00:21:21,043
All these foreigners
with their different names.

355
00:21:22,243 --> 00:21:24,483
Do we have anything further
to discuss?

356
00:21:27,683 --> 00:21:29,763
I think we're done here.
Thank you.

357
00:21:32,443 --> 00:21:33,803
Will you follow me, please?

358
00:21:43,603 --> 00:21:45,243
I'm sorry.

359
00:21:45,283 --> 00:21:46,563
I was disrespectful.

360
00:21:46,603 --> 00:21:49,243
You can go, Mr Ibrahim.

361
00:21:51,083 --> 00:21:52,443
Did I pass?

362
00:21:52,483 --> 00:21:55,403
You shall be notified
in...due course.

363
00:22:46,283 --> 00:22:48,323
Yeah, we've always been
your second choice.

364
00:22:53,963 --> 00:22:56,003
I'm done running, I'm done, done!

365
00:22:57,083 --> 00:22:58,563
I'm done too.

366
00:22:58,603 --> 00:23:00,003
What do you mean?

367
00:23:00,043 --> 00:23:01,923
Don't come here.

368
00:23:01,963 --> 00:23:03,603
I need space.

369
00:23:05,003 --> 00:23:06,443
Yasmine?

370
00:23:08,803 --> 00:23:10,203
Hello? Yasmine!

371
00:23:13,123 --> 00:23:15,163
Congratulations!

372
00:23:15,203 --> 00:23:16,683
Ah, the wanderer returns.

373
00:23:16,723 --> 00:23:19,283
Come in, come here. This is so
wonderful, we feel like we've been

374
00:23:19,323 --> 00:23:21,283
waiting for ages!
We've got a surprise for you.

375
00:23:21,323 --> 00:23:23,243
Look at what we made, Sami.
We made Baba ghanoush

376
00:23:23,283 --> 00:23:25,563
and it's really disgusting,
but you need to try it.

377
00:23:25,603 --> 00:23:28,043
Baba ghanoush. Now what's it made
out of, come on, John?

378
00:23:28,083 --> 00:23:29,803
Come on. Eggplants.
We tried so hard.

379
00:23:29,843 --> 00:23:31,843
All the tahini, all the cumin.

380
00:23:31,883 --> 00:23:33,963
Lemons. I had to get six lemons.

381
00:24:18,083 --> 00:24:19,203
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