1
00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:05,043
This programme contains strong
language and adult humour.

2
00:00:26,163 --> 00:00:28,363
Morning. Good morning.

3
00:00:31,123 --> 00:00:32,763
Oh, please, just observing.

4
00:00:34,323 --> 00:00:36,723
Where is the Post Office?
There's one on the high street.

5
00:00:36,763 --> 00:00:39,403
Opens at nine. High street?

6
00:00:39,443 --> 00:00:41,483
Have you got anything for me?
Oh, yes.

7
00:00:41,523 --> 00:00:44,043
Home Office. I'll add it to the bag.

8
00:00:44,083 --> 00:00:45,643
Erm... May I?

9
00:01:24,203 --> 00:01:26,043
Ah. Morning, Sami.

10
00:01:26,083 --> 00:01:28,323
Good morning.
Any news from Yasmin?

11
00:01:28,363 --> 00:01:29,363
Let me check again.

12
00:01:30,843 --> 00:01:32,563
No.

13
00:01:32,603 --> 00:01:34,123
I have a question. Shoot.

14
00:01:34,163 --> 00:01:36,803
What is E?

15
00:01:36,843 --> 00:01:39,283
E is for Elliot.

16
00:01:40,563 --> 00:01:42,123
Who's Elliot?

17
00:01:42,163 --> 00:01:43,803
Elliot is John's father.

18
00:01:44,883 --> 00:01:47,883
So, what's the plan, Stan?
What's today?

19
00:01:47,923 --> 00:01:50,563
Post Office. 9am. Why?

20
00:01:50,603 --> 00:01:52,563
I show them my registration card.

21
00:01:52,603 --> 00:01:55,483
The government gives me money
while I wait for asylum application.

22
00:01:55,523 --> 00:01:57,163
So they bloody should. Peter?

23
00:01:57,203 --> 00:02:00,083
I'm picking up John after school,
yes. What are you gonna do with him?

24
00:02:00,123 --> 00:02:02,563
I've got a plan. Yeah.
What is the plan?

25
00:02:02,603 --> 00:02:03,723
A surprise.

26
00:02:03,763 --> 00:02:06,563
Because, you know, if it's a petting
zoo and a packet of Quavers,

27
00:02:06,603 --> 00:02:07,723
he'll hate that.

28
00:02:07,763 --> 00:02:09,363
Well, it's not. He's not a twat.

29
00:02:09,403 --> 00:02:12,483
I know. It matters,
afternoons like this.

30
00:02:12,523 --> 00:02:13,963
Message received.

31
00:02:14,003 --> 00:02:15,203
We'll have fun.

32
00:02:15,243 --> 00:02:16,563
Morning.

33
00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:17,923
It's ready.

34
00:02:17,963 --> 00:02:20,443
Come upstairs, Sami.
John's got a surprise for you.

35
00:02:20,483 --> 00:02:21,803
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

36
00:02:21,843 --> 00:02:22,963
Oh...

37
00:02:23,003 --> 00:02:24,363
OK, come upstairs.

38
00:02:24,403 --> 00:02:28,043
TRADITIONAL MUSIC PLAYS

39
00:02:33,683 --> 00:02:36,923
What is this? Sami,
it looks like you may need...

40
00:02:36,963 --> 00:02:39,203
John, kill the music, love.

41
00:02:39,243 --> 00:02:42,283
Sami, it looks like you may need
to spend some more time with us,

42
00:02:42,323 --> 00:02:44,243
so I'd like to give you
the spare room.

43
00:02:46,043 --> 00:02:47,683
SAMI EXHALES

44
00:02:47,723 --> 00:02:49,243
Oh, thank you.

45
00:02:49,283 --> 00:02:51,203
Thank you very, very, very much.

46
00:02:51,243 --> 00:02:53,123
Yes, I was using this
as office space,

47
00:02:53,163 --> 00:02:55,563
but it's yours now, apparently.
We talked about this, Peter.

48
00:02:55,603 --> 00:02:58,323
No, no, no, it's fine. I mean, this
is how Trump happens, but it's fine.

49
00:02:58,363 --> 00:02:59,603
Please enjoy the spare room.

50
00:02:59,643 --> 00:03:03,083
Peter, I insist you share this
with me for your work.

51
00:03:05,483 --> 00:03:06,843
Right.

52
00:03:06,883 --> 00:03:10,923
Well, obviously, I'd have to base
myself near the router.

53
00:03:10,963 --> 00:03:14,003
The Wi-Fi signal here
is as weak as barley water,

54
00:03:14,043 --> 00:03:17,203
but if I could kind of
hot desk between the hookah

55
00:03:17,243 --> 00:03:19,243
and the bin, then we might
be in business.

56
00:03:19,283 --> 00:03:20,603
Good. Yep.

57
00:03:20,643 --> 00:03:23,323
Excellent. John set all this up.

58
00:03:23,363 --> 00:03:24,923
Is it like Damascus?

59
00:03:24,963 --> 00:03:27,323
Almost exactly. Thank you, John.

60
00:03:27,363 --> 00:03:28,643
The rug's facing east.

61
00:03:28,683 --> 00:03:30,323
I checked on my compass.

62
00:03:30,363 --> 00:03:31,403
OK.

63
00:03:31,443 --> 00:03:33,883
He downloaded a call
to prayer as well.

64
00:03:33,923 --> 00:03:35,843
Mo Salah and Mo Farah.

65
00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:37,283
To give it a bit of atmosphere.

66
00:03:37,323 --> 00:03:40,083
They're your mob, aren't they,
the Mos?

67
00:03:40,123 --> 00:03:42,883
We're aware you probably haven't
had a chance to pray yet,

68
00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:44,523
so, you know, now's your chance.

69
00:03:47,123 --> 00:03:48,763
Right.

70
00:03:48,803 --> 00:03:50,323
Thank you very much.

71
00:03:50,363 --> 00:03:52,683
Can I speak to you outside, please?
Yeah.

72
00:03:56,923 --> 00:03:58,603
I'm...

73
00:03:58,643 --> 00:04:00,283
I'm not Muslim. What?

74
00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:02,843
I'm Christian. Piss off!

75
00:04:04,443 --> 00:04:06,163
THEY CHUCKLE

76
00:04:07,643 --> 00:04:09,683
Really? Really. Oh.

77
00:04:09,723 --> 00:04:13,203
I do not know the Muslim prayer.
Right.

78
00:04:13,243 --> 00:04:15,643
It's just he's gone
to so much trouble.

79
00:04:15,683 --> 00:04:16,923
Could you busk it?

80
00:04:18,523 --> 00:04:20,043
And, when you think about it,

81
00:04:20,083 --> 00:04:22,603
that would be
the Christian thing to do.

82
00:04:26,643 --> 00:04:28,043
OK. Busky, busky.

83
00:04:36,243 --> 00:04:37,963
May I be alone please?

84
00:04:38,003 --> 00:04:39,723
Oh, of course. Mm.

85
00:04:50,563 --> 00:04:52,923
SINGING IN STYLE OF PRAYER

86
00:05:59,603 --> 00:06:03,403
# Minnesota Twins... #

87
00:06:12,483 --> 00:06:13,683
Amen.

88
00:06:21,003 --> 00:06:22,483
Thank you, I feel better.

89
00:06:24,043 --> 00:06:27,083
I'm sure she'll call soon, Sami.
I hope so.

90
00:06:27,123 --> 00:06:28,683
First day back at school, John.

91
00:06:28,723 --> 00:06:31,003
Very exciting. I hate this tie.

92
00:06:31,043 --> 00:06:32,363
You look handsome, darling.

93
00:06:32,403 --> 00:06:33,763
I look like Mr Bean.

94
00:06:33,803 --> 00:06:35,523
I'm going in here.

95
00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:37,123
First day at a new school.

96
00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:38,323
A new school?

97
00:06:38,363 --> 00:06:41,043
A new school where his mum is
the head of year.

98
00:06:41,083 --> 00:06:43,323
SAMI CHUCKLES
It is the nightmare.

99
00:06:43,363 --> 00:06:45,043
It is the nightmare.

100
00:06:45,083 --> 00:06:47,963
He was at a private school,
but his dad stopped paying the fees.

101
00:06:48,003 --> 00:06:51,283
Elliot? Yeah. I see.

102
00:06:51,323 --> 00:06:52,843
Abu reiha.

103
00:06:52,883 --> 00:06:54,003
What was that?

104
00:06:54,043 --> 00:06:56,723
I'm calling him a very bad name.
Abu reiha.

105
00:06:56,763 --> 00:06:58,883
Ooh, what does it mean?

106
00:06:58,923 --> 00:07:00,763
The father of stinky smells.

107
00:07:00,803 --> 00:07:02,203
Right.

108
00:07:02,243 --> 00:07:04,683
I was expecting something worse,
to be honest.

109
00:07:04,723 --> 00:07:06,923
Well, I've never met him.
Give it another go.

110
00:07:07,963 --> 00:07:09,483
El sharmouta.

111
00:07:09,523 --> 00:07:12,563
What's that?
Son of a bitch. That's better.

112
00:07:12,603 --> 00:07:14,443
His mum never liked me anyway.

113
00:07:14,483 --> 00:07:16,523
Hi. Morning.

114
00:07:16,563 --> 00:07:17,683
Just one treat, OK?

115
00:07:20,963 --> 00:07:22,563
Hello. Hi.

116
00:07:24,563 --> 00:07:26,243
Aren't you going to introduce us?

117
00:07:28,083 --> 00:07:29,443
Er...

118
00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:31,803
This is Sami. All right. Hi!

119
00:07:33,523 --> 00:07:35,243
And what is this gentleman's name?

120
00:07:36,923 --> 00:07:38,163
I don't know.

121
00:07:38,203 --> 00:07:40,803
What do you mean, you don't know?

122
00:07:40,843 --> 00:07:42,363
I mean, I don't know.

123
00:07:42,403 --> 00:07:43,603
We've never done names.

124
00:07:43,643 --> 00:07:45,963
He owns your nearest shop.

125
00:07:46,003 --> 00:07:47,723
What is your name? Erm, Raj.

126
00:07:47,763 --> 00:07:49,443
Wow! Raj.

127
00:07:49,483 --> 00:07:51,843
Raj, meet Katy and John.

128
00:07:51,883 --> 00:07:54,403
John and Katy meet Raj.

129
00:07:54,443 --> 00:07:55,883
Hi. Hi, Raj.

130
00:07:57,203 --> 00:07:59,963
I mean, the shop is called Raj.

131
00:08:00,003 --> 00:08:03,363
My name's above the shop.
Yes, but I didn't know you were Raj.

132
00:08:03,403 --> 00:08:05,723
Pretty likely though, isn't it?

133
00:08:05,763 --> 00:08:07,923
Sami is from Syria.

134
00:08:07,963 --> 00:08:10,323
Right. So, you know... What?

135
00:08:10,363 --> 00:08:14,163
You probably have
a lot...to talk about.

136
00:08:14,203 --> 00:08:15,523
I'm from Streatham. Right.

137
00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:17,483
Oh, you mean because
we both have brown faces?

138
00:08:17,523 --> 00:08:18,843
No, I didn't say that. No, no.

139
00:08:18,883 --> 00:08:21,003
It's fine. You're right.
We all tend to keep in touch.

140
00:08:21,043 --> 00:08:23,163
What shade of brown is that?
I call it desert sand.

141
00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:26,203
You? Kit Kat.
I like these brown conversations.

142
00:08:26,243 --> 00:08:28,603
We should do this more often.
I think so.

143
00:08:28,643 --> 00:08:30,883
Right, better get going
or we'll be late.

144
00:08:30,923 --> 00:08:32,363
Thanks, Raj. Thank you, Raj.

145
00:08:51,763 --> 00:08:53,363
Know where you're going? Yeah.

146
00:08:53,403 --> 00:08:55,003
Know where you're going?

147
00:08:55,043 --> 00:08:56,923
Do you want me to walk in
with you? No.

148
00:08:58,443 --> 00:08:59,603
See you later.

149
00:09:04,643 --> 00:09:05,883
I don't want to be here.

150
00:09:07,523 --> 00:09:08,603
Deep breath in.

151
00:09:09,963 --> 00:09:11,083
Deep breath out.

152
00:09:11,123 --> 00:09:12,883
JOHN EXHALES

153
00:09:12,923 --> 00:09:15,283
I am the master of my fate.

154
00:09:15,323 --> 00:09:17,123
I am the captain of my soul.

155
00:09:17,163 --> 00:09:20,203
I am the master of my fate.
I am the captain of my soul.

156
00:09:40,483 --> 00:09:43,403
Come on, come on, come on.
Everybody inside.

157
00:09:43,443 --> 00:09:45,323
You snooze, you lose. Good morning.

158
00:10:06,723 --> 00:10:09,283
Got your registration card? Yes.

159
00:10:10,523 --> 00:10:13,603
£37 and 75p per week.

160
00:10:13,643 --> 00:10:15,243
That's right. Is that a lot?

161
00:10:15,283 --> 00:10:17,403
Not for me to say, sir.

162
00:10:17,443 --> 00:10:19,603
How much is a stamp? 67p.

163
00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:23,403
It is not a lot. It's fuck all.

164
00:10:24,683 --> 00:10:27,323
If you don't like it, mate,
you can piss off home.

165
00:10:27,363 --> 00:10:29,603
Sorry? We're full up, sunshine.

166
00:10:29,643 --> 00:10:30,683
Brexit.

167
00:10:30,723 --> 00:10:32,283
We're not a soft touch any more.

168
00:10:33,803 --> 00:10:36,283
Please, believe me, I do not want
to take this money.

169
00:10:36,323 --> 00:10:39,003
Well, don't then. We've got our own
to look after, eh?

170
00:10:39,043 --> 00:10:40,563
We've got old people, kids.

171
00:10:40,603 --> 00:10:43,763
We've got an abandoned generation
of children in this country.

172
00:10:44,803 --> 00:10:46,323
Please, you take it.

173
00:10:47,803 --> 00:10:49,003
Fuck off.

174
00:10:49,043 --> 00:10:50,363
Really, for your family.

175
00:10:52,523 --> 00:10:55,123
I am sorry. I am so sorry.

176
00:10:56,483 --> 00:10:58,283
Besides, we don't fund terrorists.

177
00:11:08,683 --> 00:11:10,563
Don't do it, son.
That'd be a mistake.

178
00:11:12,283 --> 00:11:13,563
Here, take this.

179
00:11:13,603 --> 00:11:15,403
No, no, no. I can't.

180
00:11:15,443 --> 00:11:16,443
Yes, you can.

181
00:11:17,563 --> 00:11:19,403
Yes, you can.

182
00:11:19,443 --> 00:11:21,563
Don't give him your money.
It's fine.

183
00:11:21,603 --> 00:11:24,083
No, it's not fine. It's fine.

184
00:11:24,123 --> 00:11:26,963
Because you're gonna give me
your money.

185
00:11:27,003 --> 00:11:28,323
Eh?

186
00:11:28,363 --> 00:11:30,923
You're gonna give me your money.

187
00:11:30,963 --> 00:11:32,883
No. Yes.

188
00:11:32,923 --> 00:11:34,243
Make me.

189
00:11:34,283 --> 00:11:36,483
I can't make you,

190
00:11:36,523 --> 00:11:37,643
but he can.

191
00:11:39,923 --> 00:11:41,443
I'm not even gonna ask.

192
00:11:41,483 --> 00:11:42,963
It's just gonna happen.

193
00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:44,723
David's my grandson.

194
00:11:44,763 --> 00:11:48,403
Extraordinary, isn't it?
What a funny little rainbow we are.

195
00:11:48,443 --> 00:11:51,283
I'm one of the abandoned generation
of children you were chatting about.

196
00:11:51,323 --> 00:11:52,643
He is.

197
00:11:52,683 --> 00:11:54,163
It doesn't make me proud
to say this,

198
00:11:54,203 --> 00:11:58,323
but if you don't give it to him,
he's gonna open your lid,

199
00:11:58,363 --> 00:12:01,443
turn you upside down
and tap the shit out of you.

200
00:12:16,643 --> 00:12:17,723
Thank you.

201
00:12:17,763 --> 00:12:19,963
I fought in Suez.

202
00:12:20,003 --> 00:12:23,643
Tarted up in me best khaki, had a
shit sandwich and came home again.

203
00:12:24,883 --> 00:12:26,283
Don't know why I was there.

204
00:12:26,323 --> 00:12:27,803
It turns out why I was there

205
00:12:27,843 --> 00:12:30,203
was partly for the reason
you're here...

206
00:12:32,323 --> 00:12:33,883
..so history connects us.

207
00:12:35,483 --> 00:12:36,683
Mind-blowing, isn't it?

208
00:12:39,043 --> 00:12:41,563
Now, on your way before I start
sucking me own cock.

209
00:12:42,723 --> 00:12:44,563
It's not normally this complicated.

210
00:12:53,363 --> 00:12:58,243
I suppose it means getting
a bit carried away,

211
00:12:58,283 --> 00:12:59,763
liking the sound of your own voice.

212
00:12:59,803 --> 00:13:01,683
Sucking your own cock?

213
00:13:03,043 --> 00:13:04,043
Huh.

214
00:13:05,163 --> 00:13:06,683
The Guardian?

215
00:13:06,723 --> 00:13:08,523
You want one? This one likes me?

216
00:13:08,563 --> 00:13:09,923
This one likes you.

217
00:13:11,403 --> 00:13:13,483
This one likes you too.

218
00:13:14,523 --> 00:13:16,523
Oh... This one hates you.

219
00:13:18,043 --> 00:13:20,603
This one hates you.

220
00:13:20,643 --> 00:13:22,203
This one really fucking hates you.

221
00:13:22,243 --> 00:13:24,843
This one would hate you, but it's
still extremely busy telling us

222
00:13:24,883 --> 00:13:26,323
about the death of Princess Diana.

223
00:13:26,363 --> 00:13:29,163
And this one...hates you.

224
00:13:31,003 --> 00:13:32,683
Which ones do you sell the most of?

225
00:13:38,003 --> 00:13:39,883
Can I have some potato chips
instead?

226
00:13:54,683 --> 00:13:56,283
PHONE RINGS

227
00:14:01,043 --> 00:14:03,963
Hello? Sami, it's Peter.
Oh, hello.

228
00:14:04,003 --> 00:14:05,923
WALKIE-TALKIE: Ten minutes
until delivery.

229
00:14:05,963 --> 00:14:07,723
I need a hard copy of the inventory.

230
00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:09,443
Yes. Coming, coming.

231
00:14:09,483 --> 00:14:11,523
You need to go back home
and meet John after school.

232
00:14:11,563 --> 00:14:13,323
Work's got me over a barrel.
You know how it is.

233
00:14:13,363 --> 00:14:15,843
OK, but I thought you were going
to take him... I am.

234
00:14:15,883 --> 00:14:18,243
I'm just gonna be an hour late
or so. Just hold the fort.

235
00:14:18,283 --> 00:14:20,403
Like Davy Crockett? I've no idea.

236
00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:22,323
Just be back home at four, OK?

237
00:14:22,363 --> 00:14:24,443
Oh, and don't tell Katy
about this, will you?

238
00:14:24,483 --> 00:14:26,003
Ah, of course.

239
00:14:26,043 --> 00:14:28,283
Don't worry, Peter,
it shall be our little...

240
00:14:28,323 --> 00:14:29,963
Peter, did you get that? Coming!

241
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:31,123
Hello?

242
00:14:32,563 --> 00:14:34,203
No! No, no, no!

243
00:14:34,243 --> 00:14:36,523
Please, please! I need my phone!

244
00:14:38,483 --> 00:14:39,523
No...

245
00:14:45,643 --> 00:14:47,003
Afternoon, Katy.

246
00:14:47,043 --> 00:14:48,203
Oh, hi, Diana.

247
00:14:48,243 --> 00:14:50,163
How was Year 8 History?

248
00:14:50,203 --> 00:14:52,603
Took some pretty heavy fire.

249
00:14:52,643 --> 00:14:54,123
Had to be choppered out.

250
00:14:54,163 --> 00:14:56,363
You'll get a medal for this,
soldier.

251
00:14:56,403 --> 00:14:58,843
Good summer hols?
Quite eventful actually.

252
00:14:58,883 --> 00:15:01,123
We're keeping it a bit quiet,
but we're trying to adopt.

253
00:15:01,163 --> 00:15:03,723
Oh, congratulations.

254
00:15:03,763 --> 00:15:07,243
I've adopted. Have you?
A Syrian boy.

255
00:15:07,283 --> 00:15:10,323
I had no idea.
That's wonderful. How old?

256
00:15:10,363 --> 00:15:12,883
36. Erm...
Found him in the boot of our car.

257
00:15:12,923 --> 00:15:15,243
Comes as standard now
with Audis apparently.

258
00:15:15,283 --> 00:15:17,283
Oh, my God, a refugee? Yeah.

259
00:15:17,323 --> 00:15:20,643
He's staying with us for a bit.
And you're comfortable with that?

260
00:15:20,683 --> 00:15:23,083
With what?
With him being in the house?

261
00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:25,443
Why wouldn't I be?
Well, around John.

262
00:15:27,083 --> 00:15:29,123
Better woman than me. Good for you.

263
00:15:29,163 --> 00:15:32,123
Right, time to win
some hearts and minds.

264
00:15:40,803 --> 00:15:43,363
Peter? Peter?

265
00:15:45,083 --> 00:15:47,043
Oh. Hi.

266
00:15:47,083 --> 00:15:48,843
Hi.

267
00:15:48,883 --> 00:15:50,403
How was the first day of school?

268
00:15:50,443 --> 00:15:52,603
OK. Where's Peter?

269
00:15:52,643 --> 00:15:54,803
He's running late.

270
00:15:54,843 --> 00:15:56,803
Please do not be disappointed.

271
00:15:56,843 --> 00:15:58,723
What's the matter?

272
00:15:58,763 --> 00:16:00,923
Nothing. What is it?

273
00:16:00,963 --> 00:16:02,603
Somebody stole my mobile phone.

274
00:16:03,803 --> 00:16:05,403
TEARFULLY: It had my SIM
in the cover.

275
00:16:05,443 --> 00:16:07,443
All my photos, all my numbers.

276
00:16:07,483 --> 00:16:08,803
My wife's number.

277
00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:11,523
We'll find it.

278
00:16:11,563 --> 00:16:13,683
I'm good with these things.

279
00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:14,923
PHONE RINGS

280
00:16:14,963 --> 00:16:17,363
Well, the delays to the glass
partitions are non-critical,

281
00:16:17,403 --> 00:16:19,803
but I've talked to
the Swedish suppliers...

282
00:16:19,843 --> 00:16:22,163
Sorry, can I just take this?
Two seconds, two seconds.

283
00:16:22,203 --> 00:16:25,203
Hello, mate. Listen, sorry we're not
spending the afternoon together...

284
00:16:25,243 --> 00:16:26,643
Sami's had his SIM stolen.

285
00:16:26,683 --> 00:16:28,803
We need you to bring the car
and help us find it.

286
00:16:28,843 --> 00:16:31,363
Right. He has all of
his numbers on there.

287
00:16:31,403 --> 00:16:34,603
OK. That's bad luck, I recognise
that, but I can't leave work, John.

288
00:16:34,643 --> 00:16:36,123
We're at a crucial delivery stage.

289
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:38,803
If you don't help us, I'll tell Mum
you were late for our play date.

290
00:16:38,843 --> 00:16:40,563
OK, that is a new low.

291
00:16:40,603 --> 00:16:43,083
You forced me to go there, Peter.
I'm not proud.

292
00:16:43,123 --> 00:16:44,443
I didn't want a sewer fight.

293
00:16:44,483 --> 00:16:46,723
I don't want a sewer fight either.
Don't sewer fight me!

294
00:16:46,763 --> 00:16:49,003
I'm gonna give you the count
of three, then I'm gonna ring Mum.

295
00:16:49,043 --> 00:16:50,123
No. One.

296
00:16:50,163 --> 00:16:51,403
No. Two.

297
00:16:51,443 --> 00:16:53,763
OK, so, if Katy asks what we did...

298
00:16:53,803 --> 00:16:55,083
ALL: Pizza Express.

299
00:16:55,123 --> 00:16:57,003
Right. Arancini
and a shared dough ball starter.

300
00:16:57,043 --> 00:16:58,403
Then? American Classic.

301
00:16:58,443 --> 00:17:00,323
Good. Padana, extra goat's cheese.

302
00:17:00,363 --> 00:17:02,243
Leggera range... Sloppy Jeffrey.

303
00:17:02,283 --> 00:17:03,803
Giuseppe! Giuseppe. Sami, Giuseppe.

304
00:17:03,843 --> 00:17:05,723
I need to know I can rely on you.
Don't worry about me.

305
00:17:05,763 --> 00:17:07,003
I will be there for you.

306
00:17:07,043 --> 00:17:08,963
Tiramisu for dessert?
Sounds too much fun.

307
00:17:09,003 --> 00:17:11,603
It's you. Keep it disappointing.

308
00:17:11,643 --> 00:17:13,963
Good. Good, good! Found him!
What? Who?

309
00:17:14,003 --> 00:17:16,483
Idiot took a selfie and
he's uploaded it to the cloud.

310
00:17:16,523 --> 00:17:20,203
Look at that. What? The sign says
Cotdene Estate behind him.

311
00:17:20,243 --> 00:17:23,123
Cotdene Estate? Cotdene Estate,
Cotdene Estate. OK, OK, OK!

312
00:17:47,083 --> 00:17:48,723
Is that him?

313
00:17:48,763 --> 00:17:51,323
Yes. OK.

314
00:17:51,363 --> 00:17:53,163
Stay frosty.

315
00:17:53,203 --> 00:17:55,323
John, wait in the car.

316
00:17:57,003 --> 00:17:59,043
I'll do all the talking.

317
00:17:59,083 --> 00:18:01,443
Wait. No, no! Don't, don't, don't!

318
00:18:07,403 --> 00:18:09,803
Good afternoon. Erm...

319
00:18:09,843 --> 00:18:11,723
You stole my phone today.

320
00:18:11,763 --> 00:18:13,363
That's fine, that's fine.

321
00:18:13,403 --> 00:18:15,123
But I need it back.

322
00:18:15,163 --> 00:18:16,803
No.

323
00:18:16,843 --> 00:18:18,203
Look, I am new here.

324
00:18:18,243 --> 00:18:21,403
That is the only way I have
to communicate with my family.

325
00:18:21,443 --> 00:18:22,803
You have to understand.

326
00:18:22,843 --> 00:18:25,363
You understand this, mate? Fuck off!

327
00:18:33,043 --> 00:18:34,083
OK.

328
00:18:35,483 --> 00:18:37,043
We can do things the easy way...

329
00:18:38,683 --> 00:18:40,243
..or we can do them the hard way.

330
00:18:43,643 --> 00:18:45,843
You didn't just steal from him.

331
00:18:45,883 --> 00:18:47,443
You stole from me.

332
00:18:47,483 --> 00:18:50,723
And that phone,
it's a company phone...

333
00:18:52,083 --> 00:18:54,043
..just like this is
a company fleece.

334
00:18:55,723 --> 00:18:57,883
You just stole from the eighth
largest commercial

335
00:18:57,923 --> 00:18:59,603
and residential developer in the UK.

336
00:18:59,643 --> 00:19:01,723
You just opened Pandora's box,
my friend.

337
00:19:04,363 --> 00:19:05,363
Walk away.

338
00:19:07,683 --> 00:19:08,843
Peter...

339
00:19:09,963 --> 00:19:11,923
Hey, leave him alone!

340
00:19:11,963 --> 00:19:14,163
John, relax.
Give him back the phone!

341
00:19:15,923 --> 00:19:17,923
John! You want some more?

342
00:19:17,963 --> 00:19:19,523
Hey, stop!

343
00:19:26,723 --> 00:19:29,003
You're the guy from the post office,
innit? So are you!

344
00:19:29,043 --> 00:19:31,003
What now? He stole my phone.

345
00:19:35,523 --> 00:19:36,603
HE YELLS

346
00:19:39,363 --> 00:19:41,963
You need to stay out
of trouble, fam.

347
00:19:42,003 --> 00:19:43,803
Oh, I know.

348
00:19:43,843 --> 00:19:46,283
Seriously, you're like a bullshit
magnet or something.

349
00:19:46,323 --> 00:19:48,203
I know. I'm just having a bad day.

350
00:19:48,243 --> 00:19:50,203
Thank you. My guardian angel!

351
00:19:50,243 --> 00:19:52,683
Yeah, guardian angel.

352
00:19:52,723 --> 00:19:55,683
Even got wings, innit?
THEY LAUGH

353
00:19:55,723 --> 00:19:57,163
Keep your head down, yeah?

354
00:20:00,203 --> 00:20:01,403
Thank you.

355
00:20:33,603 --> 00:20:35,323
Now then, fellas, how was it?

356
00:20:35,363 --> 00:20:37,683
Yeah, good, actually.
A bit of Pizza Express.

357
00:20:37,723 --> 00:20:40,163
Nice! Yeah, arancini, dough ball
starter. Oh, I had the lot...

358
00:20:40,203 --> 00:20:42,203
American. Pepperoni
and cheese, basically.

359
00:20:42,243 --> 00:20:43,683
Ah! You had a good time, darling.

360
00:20:43,723 --> 00:20:44,963
Jesus, what happened to you?!

361
00:20:45,003 --> 00:20:47,043
It's fine. I fell over.
What happened?

362
00:20:48,083 --> 00:20:51,163
Nothing, he... Katy, please.
Somebody stole my phone.

363
00:20:51,203 --> 00:20:53,003
John helped me get it back. What?!

364
00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:56,123
Yes. We called Peter at work.
It's my fault. I'm so sorry.

365
00:20:56,163 --> 00:20:58,643
You called Peter at work?
Why were you at work?

366
00:20:58,683 --> 00:21:02,363
You should have been out with him.
Petting zoo and a packet of Quavers.

367
00:21:02,403 --> 00:21:06,163
I was late. I got his phone back.
This happened, but it was worth it.

368
00:21:06,203 --> 00:21:09,843
You let my son get into a fight
for a phone?

369
00:21:09,883 --> 00:21:11,763
It was the SIM, actually.
Fuck the SIM, Sami.

370
00:21:11,803 --> 00:21:14,563
God bless you and all who sail
in you, but fuck the fucking SIM.

371
00:21:14,603 --> 00:21:18,043
We didn't let him get into a fight.
He just waded in. Went berserk.

372
00:21:18,083 --> 00:21:21,043
I went mental. And where do you
think he gets that from?

373
00:21:21,083 --> 00:21:22,763
If I'd have wanted this
for us, Peter,

374
00:21:22,803 --> 00:21:26,123
I'd have stayed with his father.
I screwed up. I'm sorry.

375
00:21:26,163 --> 00:21:27,963
Please, I'll get my things.
I go now.

376
00:21:28,003 --> 00:21:30,243
Yeah, mate. It's probably
for the best. No, it's not.

377
00:21:30,283 --> 00:21:32,403
You're going nowhere. In fact...

378
00:21:32,443 --> 00:21:34,723
..stay as long as you like, Sami.
Hang on. He is not staying...

379
00:21:34,763 --> 00:21:37,323
Oh, tell me what I can do in my
own house, Peter! Please tell me,

380
00:21:37,363 --> 00:21:38,763
because I am dying to know!

381
00:21:38,803 --> 00:21:40,803
PHONE VIBRATES

382
00:21:54,083 --> 00:21:55,563
Yasmin! Hello?

383
00:22:17,243 --> 00:22:19,443
Subtitles by Red Bee Media