1
00:00:12,923 --> 00:00:14,043
Oi.

2
00:00:15,123 --> 00:00:16,323
Oi!

3
00:00:16,363 --> 00:00:18,803
You're in my country now. English.

4
00:00:21,963 --> 00:00:26,923
Sorry, I don't understand you. This
is England, not Islamistan. English!

5
00:00:26,963 --> 00:00:29,123
You could be talking about anything.

6
00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:31,083
It's dangerous!

7
00:00:31,123 --> 00:00:33,323
You meant to be here, are you?

8
00:00:33,363 --> 00:00:34,363
Oi!

9
00:00:35,563 --> 00:00:37,963
Just a minute, mate. Oi!

10
00:00:41,483 --> 00:00:43,763
Right, off. Make me!

11
00:00:45,083 --> 00:00:47,483
I'm not going anywhere.

12
00:00:47,523 --> 00:00:49,323
Well, we're not moving until you do.

13
00:00:52,203 --> 00:00:56,603
Excuse me, madam. Could I just say,
I completely agree with you. Yeah?

14
00:00:56,643 --> 00:01:00,243
Yes. He is in our country now, speak
the Queen's English, or go home.

15
00:01:00,283 --> 00:01:03,963
Yeah, exactly, thank you! Is it too
much to ask? No, it is not.

16
00:01:04,003 --> 00:01:06,923
He could be saying anything,
he's a security risk. Thank you!

17
00:01:06,963 --> 00:01:10,763
I have some Arabic. Can I translate
for the safety of the passengers?

18
00:01:10,803 --> 00:01:11,803
Go on, then.

19
00:01:14,603 --> 00:01:16,603
When I get home...

20
00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:18,643
I am going to plunge...

21
00:01:18,683 --> 00:01:20,843
..my face between
your perfect breasts.

22
00:01:22,443 --> 00:01:25,323
My wife, you have
such wondrous balloons.

23
00:01:25,363 --> 00:01:27,403
They stand eager and alert,

24
00:01:27,443 --> 00:01:31,003
like two small puppies that
have smelt a plate of sausages.

25
00:01:31,043 --> 00:01:32,363
Stop now.

26
00:01:32,403 --> 00:01:34,803
No, no, the surveillance
must continue.

27
00:01:34,843 --> 00:01:38,283
And on the subject of sausages,
I am speaking to you fully erect.

28
00:01:38,323 --> 00:01:40,843
Shut up!

29
00:01:41,963 --> 00:01:45,803
I found Iran's nuclear programme.
It is in my pants.

30
00:01:45,843 --> 00:01:47,523
That's bloody disgusting!

31
00:02:01,763 --> 00:02:03,843
Did he really say all that?

32
00:02:03,883 --> 00:02:05,363
I'm just a translator.

33
00:02:05,403 --> 00:02:06,763
Don't shoot the messenger.

34
00:02:09,323 --> 00:02:14,123
Busy day? Oh, I work at the surgery,
so, yeah, every day's a busy day.

35
00:02:14,163 --> 00:02:19,803
You're a doctor? A nurse. A nurse?
With the National Health Service.

36
00:02:19,843 --> 00:02:22,883
You must be very proud.
I'm very tired. Will that do?

37
00:02:26,323 --> 00:02:28,563
Where are you from? Damascus.

38
00:02:30,003 --> 00:02:33,563
Are you registered with a GP?
A doctor? Actually, no.

39
00:02:33,603 --> 00:02:35,803
You should come down.
We're on North Street.

40
00:02:37,923 --> 00:02:38,923
I will.

41
00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:43,203
Wondrous balloons?

42
00:02:46,323 --> 00:02:48,203
It's our wedding anniversary.

43
00:03:07,323 --> 00:03:08,523
Afternoon.

44
00:03:11,763 --> 00:03:14,683
What do you think?
What happened to our car?

45
00:03:14,723 --> 00:03:20,283
I traded down to the hybrid. No, not
the Audi! Yeah, well, needs must.

46
00:03:20,323 --> 00:03:23,363
Oh, she carried me across the ocean
like a pregnant mother. Steady.

47
00:03:23,403 --> 00:03:25,563
She was exactly like
a pregnant mother.

48
00:03:25,603 --> 00:03:28,603
You popped out and she needed
a new muffler and exhaust pipe.

49
00:03:30,843 --> 00:03:32,683
Why are you doing this, Peter?

50
00:03:32,723 --> 00:03:36,043
When you work for Uber, this is
basically what you drive, Sami.

51
00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:38,683
Besides, it's a cheaper lease.
You don't need to drive a cab.

52
00:03:38,723 --> 00:03:41,123
It's only short term
while I look for another position.

53
00:03:41,163 --> 00:03:44,283
You've got your redundancy.
I need to do something!

54
00:03:45,323 --> 00:03:48,763
I'm a grafter. I get the job done.
I'm Lord Sebastian Coe.

55
00:03:48,803 --> 00:03:51,283
I'm the other Pet Shop Boy.
I'm Gaviscon!

56
00:03:51,323 --> 00:03:52,763
Your life.

57
00:03:52,803 --> 00:03:53,963
Um, Peter?

58
00:03:54,003 --> 00:03:56,243
Middle distance runner,
cosmopolitan pop duo,

59
00:03:56,283 --> 00:03:58,763
market-leading heartburn treatment.
Thanking you.

60
00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:04,323
Everything OK?
He's just so fucking...

61
00:04:07,083 --> 00:04:09,083
It's nothing to do with him.

62
00:04:09,123 --> 00:04:12,403
I've got to go into school
to give evidence in this case.

63
00:04:12,443 --> 00:04:15,443
Mum, where's my red hoodie?
Um, dirty clothes basket? What?

64
00:04:15,483 --> 00:04:17,643
You said you'd wash it.
I said a lot of things, love.

65
00:04:17,683 --> 00:04:19,643
I said bolero sleeves
would make a comeback.

66
00:04:19,683 --> 00:04:22,523
I said Morrissey was being ironic.
I need it! I need it for tonight.

67
00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:26,883
Hey, hey. Cool your jets, top gun.
None of you understand!

68
00:04:28,523 --> 00:04:29,803
War?

69
00:04:29,843 --> 00:04:33,763
Elliott's coming round tonight
to discuss pulling his money
out the house.

70
00:04:33,803 --> 00:04:36,723
He's a lot about his fucking dad
at the moment. OK.

71
00:04:37,883 --> 00:04:40,523
Can you be here? Of course.

72
00:04:40,563 --> 00:04:43,203
Er, excuse me? Why does
he have to be here? I'm here.

73
00:04:43,243 --> 00:04:46,163
Well, in case Elliott gets physical
again. Well, I can get physical.

74
00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:48,563
Let's get physical. I did martial
arts. You did t'ai chi.

75
00:04:48,603 --> 00:04:51,203
I could beat him up.
You could beat him up very slowly.

76
00:04:51,243 --> 00:04:53,163
Another terrific vote of confidence.

77
00:04:58,923 --> 00:05:00,603
He probably won't come. Hey.

78
00:05:02,163 --> 00:05:03,603
I'll be here.

79
00:05:03,643 --> 00:05:08,323
OK. Right. I've got to go.
I'll see you later. Good luck.

80
00:05:21,723 --> 00:05:22,723
Yah!

81
00:05:22,763 --> 00:05:24,923
Buckingham Palace, please!
Jesus Christ!

82
00:05:24,963 --> 00:05:26,323
After much soul-searching,

83
00:05:26,363 --> 00:05:28,803
I feel it would be churlish
to turn down the knighthood.

84
00:05:28,843 --> 00:05:30,963
Step on it!

85
00:05:31,003 --> 00:05:34,683
The middle-class Englishman driving
the refugee. It is the future.

86
00:05:42,803 --> 00:05:45,923
Sorry about the shouting.
It's all right, John.

87
00:05:45,963 --> 00:05:48,563
We're all a bunch of
stressy Jessies at the moment.

88
00:05:51,283 --> 00:05:54,803
You're really doing this Uber thing?
Yes, I'm really doing it.

89
00:05:54,843 --> 00:05:56,563
Good.

90
00:05:56,603 --> 00:05:58,883
Really? I'm proud of you.

91
00:06:00,923 --> 00:06:02,203
I got you a present.

92
00:06:08,683 --> 00:06:13,683
Golden tissues. You put them on the
back shelf. Every taxi has one.

93
00:06:13,723 --> 00:06:14,723
Thank you.

94
00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:19,923
Why do they have the? Nobody knows.
Such a lovely moment.

95
00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:21,083
Anybody have a tissue?

96
00:06:27,003 --> 00:06:29,603
"I have had a threesome
in a graveyard

97
00:06:29,643 --> 00:06:32,283
and given hand jobs
in two separate pedalos."

98
00:06:32,323 --> 00:06:35,603
He told me
no-one had fucked me in years.

99
00:06:35,643 --> 00:06:38,803
I was simply disabusing him
of that notion.

100
00:06:38,843 --> 00:06:43,163
When you say two separate pedalos...
Not simultaneously.

101
00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:45,523
On two separate occasions.
Oh, good, yes.

102
00:06:45,563 --> 00:06:50,083
I was going to say,
I don't think anyone's got
the requisite wingspan, so to speak.

103
00:06:50,123 --> 00:06:51,963
Is this detail absolutely necessary?

104
00:06:52,003 --> 00:06:55,323
That's the question
I was going to ask you.

105
00:06:55,363 --> 00:06:59,043
On the grass, or...?
A raised tomb. Of course.

106
00:07:00,523 --> 00:07:04,563
I said too much. Things got
out of hand. Maddox is a minor.

107
00:07:04,603 --> 00:07:06,963
A pretty major minor. He's a minor.

108
00:07:08,083 --> 00:07:10,123
This is bollocks, Alan.

109
00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:12,883
We have SRE in this school
to educate our kids that sex

110
00:07:12,923 --> 00:07:15,723
isn't a battlefield.
This boy made it a battlefield.

111
00:07:15,763 --> 00:07:17,883
And you went over the top.

112
00:07:17,923 --> 00:07:19,723
You slapped his bottom. No.

113
00:07:19,763 --> 00:07:22,043
Touched? No. Felt? No.

114
00:07:22,083 --> 00:07:24,043
Patted? No. Cupped? No!

115
00:07:24,083 --> 00:07:25,363
Juggled?

116
00:07:27,843 --> 00:07:29,843
Can we have a break, please? Yes.

117
00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:45,163
How is the music department? Good.

118
00:07:48,443 --> 00:07:50,723
What's your favourite instrument?
Bassoon.

119
00:07:51,763 --> 00:07:53,003
Are we all right to continue?

120
00:07:54,243 --> 00:07:56,163
Yep, yes.

121
00:08:06,683 --> 00:08:12,403
You have English? Who? Can you write
English? Very beautifully.

122
00:08:12,443 --> 00:08:13,643
All right, Shakespeare.

123
00:08:13,683 --> 00:08:16,123
Fill in this registration form
and bring it back to us.

124
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:17,163
Thank you.

125
00:08:19,323 --> 00:08:21,923
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
Yeah, cheers.

126
00:08:37,523 --> 00:08:39,163
It's the bus guy!

127
00:08:39,203 --> 00:08:42,523
Ah, it's me! Welcome to
the National Health Service.

128
00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:45,563
Thank you very much. I like
what you have done with the place.

129
00:08:47,123 --> 00:08:50,043
Treatment is completely free?
For you, yeah. Unbelievable.

130
00:08:50,083 --> 00:08:53,363
Although we do ask you to
pay in other ways. Oh, right.

131
00:08:53,403 --> 00:08:57,883
Sorry, I don't understand.
Poetry, dance, song. Ah!

132
00:08:57,923 --> 00:08:58,923
Sexual favours.

133
00:09:01,363 --> 00:09:03,443
I love to laugh.

134
00:09:03,483 --> 00:09:05,603
I have a question. What's that?

135
00:09:05,643 --> 00:09:09,203
It asks here for the address
of my previous doctor. Right?

136
00:09:09,243 --> 00:09:11,683
But he doesn't have an address.
He joined the White Helmets.

137
00:09:11,723 --> 00:09:14,403
White Helmets? Yes.
What's that, a band?

138
00:09:15,763 --> 00:09:18,763
Yes. Rock on! Yah!

139
00:09:18,803 --> 00:09:22,803
Highway to Hell. Don't worry,
I know what the White Helmets is.

140
00:09:22,843 --> 00:09:26,243
Thank God. You can
just leave it blank. Thank you.

141
00:09:26,283 --> 00:09:29,083
Um... Naomi Johnson. Not a problem.

142
00:09:30,443 --> 00:09:32,843
You want to know my name?
Come back for a checkup.

143
00:09:34,643 --> 00:09:35,723
Bye-bye.

144
00:09:52,003 --> 00:09:57,003
Trent, is it? Yeah, mate.
Croydon, yeah? That's what I've got.

145
00:10:18,563 --> 00:10:21,083
Thank you.

146
00:10:21,123 --> 00:10:24,083
What? I said thank you.
You got a problem with something?

147
00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:25,443
No heavy petting.

148
00:10:25,483 --> 00:10:28,203
Heavy petting?
I don't even know what that means.

149
00:10:28,243 --> 00:10:29,483
Yep, well, look it up.

150
00:10:29,523 --> 00:10:31,523
People say it all the time,
all the time.

151
00:10:31,563 --> 00:10:35,203
Are you telling us not to kiss?
It's my car, it's my rules.

152
00:10:35,243 --> 00:10:38,403
You can hold hands, you could talk,
but I'm not having that...

153
00:10:38,443 --> 00:10:40,963
This is a hybrid,
not the Scooby-Doo fanny wagon.

154
00:10:42,123 --> 00:10:44,563
I don't think it was called that.
Just drive!

155
00:10:51,043 --> 00:10:53,043
This royal throne of kings...

156
00:10:53,083 --> 00:10:56,643
What are you doing? You're doing
what you want. I'll do what I want.

157
00:10:56,683 --> 00:10:59,843
What is this?
Radio 4, Trent. Shakespeare!

158
00:10:59,883 --> 00:11:02,883
Yeah, well, actually,
I love Shakespeare. So do I!

159
00:11:02,923 --> 00:11:06,643
It really fucking turns me on. Well,
maybe I'll fucking turn it up, then.

160
00:11:06,683 --> 00:11:09,243
I'd love you to turn it up.
..the hand of war.

161
00:11:09,283 --> 00:11:14,083
This happy breed of men.
This little... Oh, God!

162
00:11:14,123 --> 00:11:18,123
This precious stone
set in the silver sea... Stop it!

163
00:11:18,163 --> 00:11:22,563
Cease and desist! Cease and desist!
I'm going to stop the car!

164
00:11:22,603 --> 00:11:24,723
Drive, or I'll go faster.

165
00:11:24,763 --> 00:11:26,523
Better keep driving, mate.

166
00:11:26,563 --> 00:11:27,963
This is like Speed.

167
00:11:28,003 --> 00:11:30,203
..this blessed plot, this earth,

168
00:11:30,243 --> 00:11:32,843
this realm, this England.

169
00:11:34,243 --> 00:11:35,883
Subtitles by Red Bee Media

170
00:11:43,923 --> 00:11:46,603
Oh, fuck...

171
00:11:48,643 --> 00:11:50,963
I don't think I can get through
all this.

172
00:11:51,003 --> 00:11:54,043
You cannot get through this alone.

173
00:11:54,083 --> 00:11:55,363
But we are a team.

174
00:11:55,403 --> 00:11:57,203
You need to talk,
you reach out to me,

175
00:11:57,243 --> 00:11:59,843
or you reach out to John,
our you reach out to...

176
00:11:59,883 --> 00:12:01,683
You reach out to me again.

177
00:12:02,883 --> 00:12:04,843
Of course, you reach out to Peter
as well.

178
00:12:04,883 --> 00:12:07,403
Yeah, because that works,
doesn't it? It better work.

179
00:12:07,443 --> 00:12:09,523
That's what I have been doing
with all of you.

180
00:12:11,643 --> 00:12:14,163
Is he here yet? No.

181
00:12:14,203 --> 00:12:16,043
I mean, he probably won't come.

182
00:12:16,083 --> 00:12:18,403
There is the pie of the shepherd
on the stove.

183
00:12:20,763 --> 00:12:22,163
How did it go?

184
00:12:22,203 --> 00:12:23,443
It went.

185
00:12:23,483 --> 00:12:25,203
Tissue box come in useful?

186
00:12:25,243 --> 00:12:26,603
You have no idea, John.

187
00:12:26,643 --> 00:12:29,963
You're very welcome. Anyone going to
ask me about my day?

188
00:12:30,003 --> 00:12:31,803
How was your day, darling? Oh, fuck!

189
00:12:31,843 --> 00:12:34,643
Oh, God! Spoon! Spoon!
Oh, shit, I'm sorry.

190
00:12:34,683 --> 00:12:36,483
It was meant to be a surprise,

191
00:12:36,523 --> 00:12:39,003
cos I've still got
a spare set of keys.

192
00:12:39,043 --> 00:12:41,043
Well, keys on the floor.

193
00:12:41,083 --> 00:12:42,883
Oh.

194
00:12:45,203 --> 00:12:47,723
I'm sorry. Don't touch me. Hey,
hands off the goods, mate!

195
00:12:47,763 --> 00:12:49,883
Oh, fuck off, Peter. You heard
the women!

196
00:12:51,483 --> 00:12:53,603
Look, come on, all right,
let's just...

197
00:12:53,643 --> 00:12:55,563
Let's start again, huh?

198
00:12:57,043 --> 00:12:59,643
You must be Pete. I'm Elliot.

199
00:12:59,683 --> 00:13:01,603
It's Peter, actually.

200
00:13:01,643 --> 00:13:03,643
This is Sami, our friend.
Yeah, yeah.

201
00:13:03,683 --> 00:13:05,723
I've heard all about this one.

202
00:13:05,763 --> 00:13:08,043
Now, where is he?

203
00:13:12,363 --> 00:13:13,763
Oh!

204
00:13:13,803 --> 00:13:15,323
Your hulked out!

205
00:13:15,363 --> 00:13:17,443
Man of the house. Yeah!

206
00:13:18,683 --> 00:13:21,323
Man.

207
00:13:21,363 --> 00:13:23,963
So, I've come bearing gifts.

208
00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:26,603
No, no, we are not drinking
tonight. Yeah?

209
00:13:26,643 --> 00:13:28,043
Well, some of us aren't.

210
00:13:28,083 --> 00:13:30,603
Anyway, me neither. I've given up.

211
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,443
Ha! Given up!

212
00:13:32,483 --> 00:13:34,403
I'm in recovery, Katy.

213
00:13:34,443 --> 00:13:37,323
What's that, AA, or...? No, it's a
Christian faith group.

214
00:13:37,363 --> 00:13:39,923
I've been a member
since last year. Have you?

215
00:13:39,963 --> 00:13:43,003
I mean, God, I was a
real...see you next Tuesday.

216
00:13:43,043 --> 00:13:44,203
Cunt.

217
00:13:44,243 --> 00:13:47,643
Now I'm more of
a...see you this Sunday.

218
00:13:51,043 --> 00:13:53,723
What are you doing? Getting
the corkscrew.

219
00:13:53,763 --> 00:13:56,043
No. Look, he's fine. I want a drink.

220
00:13:56,083 --> 00:13:57,683
Do you want a hand there, Pete?

221
00:13:57,723 --> 00:14:00,323
Yes, it's Peter, and I'm fine.
It just gets a bit stuck sometimes.

222
00:14:00,363 --> 00:14:01,763
She's a little bit temperamental.

223
00:14:01,803 --> 00:14:04,363
She just needs a little
bit of a bash.

224
00:14:04,403 --> 00:14:06,603
That your solution to everything,
isn't it?

225
00:14:11,723 --> 00:14:13,643
So, Damascus, right?

226
00:14:13,683 --> 00:14:15,323
Yes. Bloody hell.

227
00:14:19,643 --> 00:14:23,283
Good effort. Good effort.

228
00:14:23,323 --> 00:14:25,443
Were you in The Jungle? The...?

229
00:14:25,483 --> 00:14:27,643
No, it was taken down by
the time I got to Calais.

230
00:14:27,683 --> 00:14:30,403
Do you know, we came very close to
getting Lionel Richie

231
00:14:30,443 --> 00:14:32,123
to do a show and in The Jungle.

232
00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:34,163
Elliot's in events management.

233
00:14:34,203 --> 00:14:36,003
Music. Lionel Richie.

234
00:14:37,203 --> 00:14:39,163
God, he'd have been great.

235
00:14:39,203 --> 00:14:41,403
Cos he's a festival guy.

236
00:14:41,443 --> 00:14:44,523
You know, he would have been very
at home in a tented environment.

237
00:14:44,563 --> 00:14:47,683
I don't know about you, but I was
really looking forward to seeing him

238
00:14:47,723 --> 00:14:52,083
looking out over a sea of 10,000
refugees and singing Easy.

239
00:14:54,283 --> 00:14:55,683
That would have been very special.

240
00:14:55,723 --> 00:14:57,523
Uh-huh. I got something for you.

241
00:14:59,243 --> 00:15:01,203
What is this? It's a book.

242
00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:05,643
And it contains the most beautiful
poem in the English language.

243
00:15:05,683 --> 00:15:08,323
If- by Rudyard Kipling.

244
00:15:09,403 --> 00:15:10,803
Do you like Kipling?

245
00:15:10,843 --> 00:15:12,763
I don't know, I've never kipled.

246
00:15:15,763 --> 00:15:20,123
If you can make a heap
of all your winnings

247
00:15:20,163 --> 00:15:24,683
And risk them on one turn
of pitch-and-toss

248
00:15:24,723 --> 00:15:30,283
And lose, and start again
from your beginnings...

249
00:15:32,763 --> 00:15:35,443
Cos that's you, isn't it?

250
00:15:37,163 --> 00:15:39,683
And that's me.

251
00:15:39,723 --> 00:15:42,283
We're in the same boat.

252
00:15:42,323 --> 00:15:43,683
Different boats.

253
00:15:43,723 --> 00:15:47,043
Anyway, let it be a meditation.

254
00:15:47,083 --> 00:15:49,843
It's got me through more than
one triathlon.

255
00:15:51,163 --> 00:15:53,003
Thank you, Elliot.

256
00:15:53,043 --> 00:15:55,803
What kind of music do you like?

257
00:15:55,843 --> 00:15:57,683
I...don't know.

258
00:15:57,723 --> 00:16:00,083
K-pop? BTS?

259
00:16:00,123 --> 00:16:03,163
Not really. No, me neither.

260
00:16:03,203 --> 00:16:07,163
The latest ASAP Rocky
and Post Malone,

261
00:16:07,203 --> 00:16:08,923
but strictly confidential.

262
00:16:08,963 --> 00:16:10,443
Nice!

263
00:16:10,483 --> 00:16:12,443
Do you want to go to
a concert sometime?

264
00:16:12,483 --> 00:16:15,203
Do you think you're ready
for the Brixton Academy?

265
00:16:15,243 --> 00:16:18,003
Whoa, whoa, whoa. OK, maybe we
should slow things down.

266
00:16:18,043 --> 00:16:20,843
What you mean, slow down?
John, Sami is just...

267
00:16:20,883 --> 00:16:23,283
What do you mean, Sami?

268
00:16:23,323 --> 00:16:26,803
Elliot has not been
here for a long time, John.

269
00:16:26,843 --> 00:16:28,323
Maybe not get his hopes up.

270
00:16:28,363 --> 00:16:30,603
You can talk.

271
00:16:30,643 --> 00:16:32,563
You left your family too.

272
00:16:32,603 --> 00:16:34,323
Yes.

273
00:16:34,363 --> 00:16:36,283
Yes, I have.

274
00:16:36,323 --> 00:16:38,923
Same boat after all.

275
00:16:42,123 --> 00:16:43,683
Maybe it's best if I...

276
00:16:43,723 --> 00:16:45,363
Of course. Yes. We won't be long.

277
00:16:47,203 --> 00:16:48,883
Nice to meet you, Elliot.

278
00:16:48,923 --> 00:16:50,403
Assalaamu Alaikum.

279
00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:52,403
Right back at you.

280
00:16:58,603 --> 00:17:01,923
John, can you give us five minutes,
baby? A word.

281
00:17:01,963 --> 00:17:03,483
Mm.

282
00:17:13,803 --> 00:17:18,163
Look, I know. I know! I'm sorry.
I just got carried away...

283
00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:20,843
..because it's so good to see
him again.

284
00:17:23,123 --> 00:17:24,643
And see you again.

285
00:17:26,323 --> 00:17:28,683
Meet you and Pete.
Peter. It's Peter.

286
00:17:28,723 --> 00:17:31,163
Everything that you do and say

287
00:17:31,203 --> 00:17:33,843
from now on will be carved
on my son's heart.

288
00:17:33,883 --> 00:17:36,563
You do realise that, Elliot?
He'll forget nothing.

289
00:17:36,603 --> 00:17:38,923
I'm not that guy any more, Kate.

290
00:17:38,963 --> 00:17:42,643
I know I used to drink
wine like it was water,

291
00:17:42,683 --> 00:17:46,003
but now my new landlord turns
water into wine.

292
00:17:47,203 --> 00:17:51,963
I just want a chance to start to
play a bigger part in a John's life.

293
00:17:52,003 --> 00:17:53,803
Why would I give a shit about what
you want?

294
00:17:53,843 --> 00:17:55,483
Because I'm his father.

295
00:17:55,523 --> 00:17:58,283
No, you're not.

296
00:17:58,323 --> 00:18:01,203
There's a difference
between acting like a father

297
00:18:01,243 --> 00:18:03,123
and acting like Father Christmas.

298
00:18:04,563 --> 00:18:07,443
And I'm smelling reindeer shit
right up your driveway, mate.

299
00:18:07,483 --> 00:18:09,523
Ho-ho-ho!

300
00:18:11,283 --> 00:18:13,563
Is because I cut off
the mortgage repayments?

301
00:18:13,603 --> 00:18:16,283
Absolutely not. Because if you're
struggling financially...

302
00:18:16,323 --> 00:18:18,483
Oh, were not struggling.

303
00:18:18,523 --> 00:18:21,163
Everything is going great, right?
Schools good? Right.

304
00:18:21,203 --> 00:18:22,923
And you're in, what, construction?

305
00:18:22,963 --> 00:18:26,643
Can't build them quick enough,
mate. Busy as a bee.

306
00:18:26,683 --> 00:18:28,843
What are you talking about?

307
00:18:28,883 --> 00:18:30,603
Don't shut me out.

308
00:18:38,683 --> 00:18:40,443
Don't shut me out.

309
00:19:27,883 --> 00:19:31,683
Thank you very much
for your hospitality.

310
00:19:31,723 --> 00:19:32,963
I'll be in touch.

311
00:19:33,003 --> 00:19:34,923
Absolutely no rush whatsoever.

312
00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:39,403
Can I see the tattoo?

313
00:19:39,443 --> 00:19:41,883
You want to see the ink?
I want to see the ink.

314
00:19:46,003 --> 00:19:49,443
Oh, the Phoenix! Yeah, I got that
done back in the wild days.

315
00:19:50,843 --> 00:19:55,403
It's a beautiful design,
though. Completely to scale.

316
00:19:55,443 --> 00:19:57,443
Anatomically accurate.

317
00:19:57,483 --> 00:19:59,443
Sorry, anatomically accurate?

318
00:19:59,483 --> 00:20:02,163
Yeah. Phoenixes don't exist.
I know.

319
00:20:02,203 --> 00:20:04,723
So, it's completely realistic
if it was real? Exactly.

320
00:20:04,763 --> 00:20:06,643
Oh, I see. Thank you so much
for that.

321
00:20:06,683 --> 00:20:09,203
I was thinking of having a complete
sleeve done.

322
00:20:09,243 --> 00:20:13,363
Oh! Yeah. I'm going to undergo
the traditional Polynesian method.

323
00:20:13,403 --> 00:20:16,363
The Maoris call it ta moko.

324
00:20:16,403 --> 00:20:19,963
And they carve the ink into the skin

325
00:20:20,003 --> 00:20:23,523
using chisels made out of
albatross bark.

326
00:20:23,563 --> 00:20:26,403
Oh, my God! Yeah. I can take up to
24 hours.

327
00:20:26,443 --> 00:20:32,283
It's unbelievably painful, but it's
considered a rite of passage.

328
00:20:32,323 --> 00:20:34,043
Trial by fire.

329
00:20:34,083 --> 00:20:36,483
Are you going to New Zealand?

330
00:20:36,523 --> 00:20:39,083
Natalie Imbruglia says
she knows a guy in Egham.

331
00:20:39,123 --> 00:20:40,323
Nice.

332
00:20:40,363 --> 00:20:42,323
I've got a tattoo.

333
00:20:42,363 --> 00:20:44,523
Yeah? Yeah. No, you don't.

334
00:20:47,643 --> 00:20:50,403
Erm... Peter, no.

335
00:20:58,723 --> 00:21:00,283
I didn't know you had that.

336
00:21:00,323 --> 00:21:03,003
Are those...

337
00:21:03,043 --> 00:21:04,483
..coordinates?

338
00:21:04,523 --> 00:21:06,563
Mm-hm. Of whom?

339
00:21:06,603 --> 00:21:09,123
First construction job I ever
worked on.

340
00:21:10,723 --> 00:21:12,643
It's a retail Park in Stevenage.

341
00:21:12,683 --> 00:21:15,043
Isn't it supposed to
be of your baby?

342
00:21:15,083 --> 00:21:17,603
Can be. Babies or retail parks.

343
00:21:17,643 --> 00:21:20,003
Maybe get that lasered off.

344
00:21:20,043 --> 00:21:24,403
Or have unprotected sex
with my ex-wife in Stevenage.

345
00:21:26,723 --> 00:21:28,723
Got to go.

346
00:21:28,763 --> 00:21:31,123
Come here.

347
00:21:33,483 --> 00:21:36,323
I'm going to see you really soon.
Love you, dad.

348
00:21:39,123 --> 00:21:41,603
I love you too.

349
00:22:48,403 --> 00:22:51,043
Subtitles by Red Bee Media