1
00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:45,603
ARGH! Such a little asshole!

2
00:00:45,643 --> 00:00:47,803
Stop it!

3
00:00:59,563 --> 00:01:01,043
Whoa!

4
00:01:21,443 --> 00:01:23,523
Don't move a muscle!

5
00:01:26,483 --> 00:01:28,323
Oh, shit! You all right?

6
00:01:28,363 --> 00:01:29,923
I am fine.

7
00:01:29,963 --> 00:01:31,683
It's just all these guns.

8
00:01:31,723 --> 00:01:33,883
They bring back
a lot of bad memories.

9
00:01:33,923 --> 00:01:36,723
Of course! I'm sorry, Yasmin!

10
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:39,683
Come here. No, no, no, no!
Please, don't! Oh, why not?

11
00:01:39,723 --> 00:01:41,563
Because...

12
00:01:41,603 --> 00:01:43,883
..I DON'T WANT TO GET WE-E-ET!

13
00:01:51,443 --> 00:01:53,963
Oh, my God!

14
00:01:54,003 --> 00:01:56,403
That is in stunningly poor taste!

15
00:01:56,443 --> 00:01:58,483
Yes! Yes, yes!

16
00:01:58,523 --> 00:02:00,323
Yes! Extremely poor taste!

17
00:02:00,363 --> 00:02:02,443
Very, very poor taste!

18
00:02:04,163 --> 00:02:07,083
I'm sorry.
It's too late for apologies, John.

19
00:02:07,123 --> 00:02:09,763
I want to know you've learnt
something. I've learnt something.

20
00:02:09,803 --> 00:02:11,043
Which is?

21
00:02:11,083 --> 00:02:13,443
I've learned you shouldn't fill
a water gun with paint.

22
00:02:13,483 --> 00:02:15,643
That's right. You shouldn't.

23
00:02:15,683 --> 00:02:18,603
I shouldn't have humiliated you.
Oh, you didn't humiliate me, John.

24
00:02:18,643 --> 00:02:20,283
You humiliated yourself.

25
00:02:20,323 --> 00:02:21,483
I humiliated you a bit.

26
00:02:21,523 --> 00:02:22,963
Actually, I don't see it that way

27
00:02:23,003 --> 00:02:25,643
and I think you'll find
nobody else does. How we doing here?

28
00:02:25,683 --> 00:02:27,603
You still angry?
Oh, not angry at all!

29
00:02:27,643 --> 00:02:29,803
Very calm, very calm.

30
00:02:29,843 --> 00:02:31,643
OK! Gotta go, guys. Can't be late.

31
00:02:31,683 --> 00:02:32,923
OK.

32
00:02:34,443 --> 00:02:36,003
OK, I'll get our stuff.

33
00:02:40,443 --> 00:02:43,203
It's so nice to see them all
together again, isn't it? Hm.

34
00:02:43,243 --> 00:02:44,603
Yeah.

35
00:02:45,683 --> 00:02:48,323
It's empty. Yeah, I know,
it's just...checking.

36
00:02:50,963 --> 00:02:52,803
Come on, Thanos.

37
00:02:52,843 --> 00:02:54,643
Let's get you cleaned up.

38
00:03:30,683 --> 00:03:33,163
Right! Let's get the bags.

39
00:03:33,203 --> 00:03:35,723
- I'll grab the trolley.
- Thank you, good boy.

40
00:03:35,763 --> 00:03:37,763
Now, Yasmin, come here.

41
00:03:37,803 --> 00:03:39,603
Oh...

42
00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:58,123
Tickets? Passports?

43
00:03:59,323 --> 00:04:00,963
Can I see?

44
00:04:04,083 --> 00:04:06,163
Proper Germans now.

45
00:04:10,643 --> 00:04:13,523
I'll help you with this. Sami...

46
00:04:13,563 --> 00:04:15,683
..here is best. Please.

47
00:04:31,643 --> 00:04:33,363
OK?

48
00:04:48,523 --> 00:04:50,203
He's such a little asshole.

49
00:05:37,483 --> 00:05:39,923
You'll see them again soon.

50
00:05:39,963 --> 00:05:41,203
I know, I know.

51
00:05:41,243 --> 00:05:43,443
Still haven't changed
that cardigan.

52
00:05:43,483 --> 00:05:44,963
Does Iron Man change his suit?

53
00:05:45,003 --> 00:05:46,723
Iron Man updates it every movie.

54
00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:49,003
I sewed this pocket up last Tuesday.

55
00:05:50,243 --> 00:05:52,243
"Asylum Man".

56
00:05:54,043 --> 00:05:56,363
You know, you don't have to
drive me home. Of course we do!

57
00:05:56,403 --> 00:05:58,443
Have you got the address,
darling? Eagle Lodge.

58
00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:00,323
Eagle Lodge.

59
00:06:00,363 --> 00:06:01,363
Sounds nice!

60
00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:03,163
Yeah, well, don't get your hopes up,
John.

61
00:06:03,203 --> 00:06:05,563
Not everything that sounds nice
is nice.

62
00:06:05,603 --> 00:06:07,563
What do you mean?
Elephant and Castle.

63
00:06:07,603 --> 00:06:09,203
Shingles!

64
00:06:09,243 --> 00:06:10,603
Shingles.

65
00:06:10,643 --> 00:06:13,003
- Tommy Robinson.
- Ickle Tommy Robinson.

66
00:06:13,043 --> 00:06:14,523
Actually...

67
00:06:14,563 --> 00:06:16,443
..Eagle Lodge is quite nice.

68
00:06:16,483 --> 00:06:18,963
Oh, you don't have to say that,
mate. I know these places.

69
00:06:19,003 --> 00:06:22,043
A frayed bedsheet for a curtain.

70
00:06:22,083 --> 00:06:24,243
Mattress on the floor.

71
00:06:24,283 --> 00:06:27,283
Ahmed squatting over
a camping stove,

72
00:06:27,323 --> 00:06:30,283
fighting a losing battle
against his tagine.

73
00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:31,763
I'm spitballing, of course.

74
00:06:31,803 --> 00:06:33,523
How long since your interview?

75
00:06:33,563 --> 00:06:35,003
182 days.

76
00:06:35,043 --> 00:06:36,523
And you still haven't heard?

77
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:38,363
Nope. Fucking disgrace.

78
00:06:38,403 --> 00:06:40,163
Er, can we watch the Navy language?

79
00:06:40,203 --> 00:06:42,523
Well, I'm sorry, but it is.

80
00:06:42,563 --> 00:06:45,043
It's like one of those pauses
in the X Factor.

81
00:06:45,083 --> 00:06:47,763
And the refugee who will be leaving

82
00:06:47,803 --> 00:06:49,603
the competition tonight is...

83
00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:50,923
..doof, doof, doof...

84
00:06:50,963 --> 00:06:54,363
..going to be announced right
after the break. No-o-o! No-o-o!

85
00:06:54,403 --> 00:06:56,243
A 182-day break.

86
00:06:56,283 --> 00:06:57,883
The suspense is killing me.

87
00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:05,363
Ted Bundy!

88
00:07:06,683 --> 00:07:08,283
Ted Bundy.

89
00:07:23,883 --> 00:07:25,723
Sorry, mate.

90
00:07:25,763 --> 00:07:27,923
Sat nav's playing silly buggers.

91
00:07:27,963 --> 00:07:30,163
Says this is Eagle Lodge.

92
00:07:30,203 --> 00:07:31,643
This IS Eagle Lodge.

93
00:07:31,683 --> 00:07:33,283
But this is a hotel.

94
00:07:33,323 --> 00:07:34,803
Yes.

95
00:07:48,203 --> 00:07:50,043
This is lovely!

96
00:07:50,083 --> 00:07:52,283
Apparently there has been a surge
in asylum numbers

97
00:07:52,323 --> 00:07:54,683
so they've put us up here
temporarily. How many stars?

98
00:07:54,723 --> 00:07:57,083
Erm, three, I think. Nice!

99
00:07:57,123 --> 00:07:59,123
No offence, but you enter
the country illegally

100
00:07:59,163 --> 00:08:01,443
and the taxpayer's expected
to foot the bill for this?

101
00:08:01,483 --> 00:08:03,763
Oh, don't get angry.
I'm not getting angry.

102
00:08:03,803 --> 00:08:05,403
It just makes me extremely uptight.

103
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:07,963
You are welcome to de-stress in
the adjoining spa facilities.

104
00:08:08,003 --> 00:08:09,323
Spa facilities...

105
00:08:10,763 --> 00:08:12,403
Oh, come on!

106
00:08:19,763 --> 00:08:22,363
Make yourselves comfortable.
Bloody hell.

107
00:08:22,403 --> 00:08:24,763
How's the PlayStation? Good.

108
00:08:26,363 --> 00:08:29,203
Comprehensive tea and
coffee-making facilities,

109
00:08:29,243 --> 00:08:30,723
Twinings Collection...

110
00:08:30,763 --> 00:08:32,163
He's got a Twinings Collection.

111
00:08:32,203 --> 00:08:33,603
Hello! Agh! Leave me alone!

112
00:08:33,643 --> 00:08:36,403
I can't leave you alone!
You are adorable!

113
00:08:36,443 --> 00:08:37,683
I've heard all about you.

114
00:08:37,723 --> 00:08:40,163
Victor from Lagos!
I'm Sami's roommate.

115
00:08:40,203 --> 00:08:42,483
This is Victor. Katy. This is John.

116
00:08:42,523 --> 00:08:44,123
- Hello, John.
- All right?

117
00:08:44,163 --> 00:08:46,043
Peter you've met.
Oh! I've met Peter.

118
00:08:46,083 --> 00:08:47,923
How long have you been here, Victor?

119
00:08:47,963 --> 00:08:50,483
Nearly three months.
Why did you come here?

120
00:08:50,523 --> 00:08:52,603
Hard to be me in Nigeria.

121
00:08:52,643 --> 00:08:54,163
Are you...gay?

122
00:08:54,203 --> 00:08:57,043
Well, if I'm not,
someone should tell my kimono

123
00:08:57,083 --> 00:08:59,723
because it has got
the wrong end of the stick.

124
00:08:59,763 --> 00:09:01,643
Victor Adebayo!

125
00:09:01,683 --> 00:09:03,403
Dental surgeon...

126
00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:05,643
..PhD, BDS, MDS and...

127
00:09:05,683 --> 00:09:07,363
..homosexual.

128
00:09:07,403 --> 00:09:09,323
It is illegal to be gay in Nigeria,
John.

129
00:09:09,363 --> 00:09:11,523
14-year prison sentence.

130
00:09:11,563 --> 00:09:13,283
One for every Madonna album.

131
00:09:15,003 --> 00:09:17,243
Spill the beans, Victor.

132
00:09:17,283 --> 00:09:19,243
What's it like to share
a room with this one?

133
00:09:19,283 --> 00:09:20,603
Oh, he's fine.

134
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:22,603
We haven't killed each other yet.
Yet.

135
00:09:22,643 --> 00:09:25,283
Feels like he's trying to, though,
with his night-time farting.

136
00:09:25,323 --> 00:09:27,123
You want to talk about the farting?!

137
00:09:27,163 --> 00:09:28,483
Er, excuse me?!

138
00:09:28,523 --> 00:09:31,083
You did one so loud on Friday
it woke my phone up.

139
00:09:31,123 --> 00:09:32,643
I haven't even got started yet.

140
00:09:32,683 --> 00:09:35,203
I bet you haven't!
Syrians are the kings of farting!

141
00:09:35,243 --> 00:09:37,483
Give me two chicken shawarma
and a baba ghanoush,

142
00:09:37,523 --> 00:09:39,163
I'll give you Chernobyl!

143
00:09:42,323 --> 00:09:44,963
Let me...give you all some time
to catch up.

144
00:09:50,683 --> 00:09:52,243
I'm sorry.

145
00:09:52,283 --> 00:09:54,403
He's a good guy, it's...

146
00:09:54,443 --> 00:09:56,123
..all this.

147
00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:59,083
I know you think this is
all so fancy, and it is...

148
00:09:59,123 --> 00:10:00,403
Twinings Collection...

149
00:10:00,443 --> 00:10:02,243
I don't want this!

150
00:10:02,283 --> 00:10:04,163
I want to start my life!

151
00:10:04,203 --> 00:10:05,883
But I am still waiting.

152
00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:11,363
This is not luxury, this is...

153
00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:13,763
..purgatory.

154
00:10:13,803 --> 00:10:17,083
I'm sorry, I'm a bit tired
after everything. Yes, of course.

155
00:10:17,123 --> 00:10:19,083
Come on, let's go.

156
00:10:20,683 --> 00:10:22,763
I wanted to play Fortnite with you!

157
00:10:22,803 --> 00:10:25,963
The battle royale will have to wait
for its two finest soldiers.

158
00:10:28,523 --> 00:10:31,203
Bye, Victor. Lovely to meet you.
Safe journey.

159
00:10:31,243 --> 00:10:33,483
- Keep an eye on him?
- OK.

160
00:10:33,523 --> 00:10:34,803
Thank you.

161
00:10:39,043 --> 00:10:41,003
You going to bring your family
over here?

162
00:10:41,043 --> 00:10:43,683
My family don't want to know me
right now.

163
00:10:43,723 --> 00:10:45,123
They didn't like you being...?

164
00:10:45,163 --> 00:10:47,763
They were not complimentary.

165
00:10:47,803 --> 00:10:49,763
Is the shortbread complimentary?

166
00:10:49,803 --> 00:10:51,803
Yes, the shortbread is
complimentary.

167
00:10:51,843 --> 00:10:53,363
Good, because I took some.

168
00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:55,883
Get out of here before
you steal my heart as well!

169
00:10:55,923 --> 00:10:58,163
- Bye, Sami!
- Bye, Sami!

170
00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:31,803
Oh, you fucker!

171
00:11:31,843 --> 00:11:33,483
What's happened?

172
00:11:34,683 --> 00:11:36,443
Oh, wanker.

173
00:11:37,923 --> 00:11:39,723
Who's a wanker?

174
00:11:39,763 --> 00:11:41,483
No-one, mate.

175
00:11:41,523 --> 00:11:43,403
Just a friend. Who?

176
00:11:44,603 --> 00:11:47,003
Janet. You don't have
any female friends.

177
00:11:47,043 --> 00:11:49,643
Well, I got one female friend
and she's called Janet.

178
00:11:49,683 --> 00:11:51,683
Girls aren't wankers.

179
00:11:51,723 --> 00:11:53,163
Hm, you clearly haven't met Janet!

180
00:11:53,203 --> 00:11:54,283
I'm drowning here...

181
00:11:54,323 --> 00:11:55,763
It's your father, John.

182
00:11:55,803 --> 00:11:58,443
What does he want? Well...

183
00:12:00,443 --> 00:12:02,003
..he pays the mortgage on this place

184
00:12:02,043 --> 00:12:04,203
but it seems he doesn't want
to do that anymore.

185
00:12:04,243 --> 00:12:06,683
OK. Let's all just take...a...

186
00:12:06,723 --> 00:12:08,083
..chillaxative here.

187
00:12:08,123 --> 00:12:11,203
I am being offered promotion this
week and the pay rise will cover

188
00:12:11,243 --> 00:12:13,803
any dent he tries to make in us.

189
00:12:13,843 --> 00:12:16,363
I'm actually glad this is happening.

190
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:18,683
I don't want him
looking after you both.

191
00:12:20,443 --> 00:12:22,003
I want to look after you.

192
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:24,643
All right, darling. Bed.

193
00:12:26,043 --> 00:12:27,243
My dad's not a wanker.

194
00:12:27,283 --> 00:12:29,443
Well, technically
I called Janet a wanker, so...

195
00:12:29,483 --> 00:12:31,203
Everyone deserves a second chance.

196
00:12:32,963 --> 00:12:34,923
I gave YOU one.

197
00:12:39,403 --> 00:12:40,723
Ignore him.

198
00:12:40,763 --> 00:12:44,243
Christ, he really likes feeding my
balls into a desk fan, doesn't he?

199
00:12:44,283 --> 00:12:46,163
He still misses Sami.

200
00:12:50,163 --> 00:12:52,683
Why do you think
Elliot's doing this now?

201
00:12:52,723 --> 00:12:54,923
10.15? He's probably just moving
onto the spirits.

202
00:12:54,963 --> 00:12:56,443
No, I mean now generally.

203
00:12:56,483 --> 00:12:57,963
He enjoys it.

204
00:12:58,003 --> 00:13:00,203
He likes turning my life
upside down.

205
00:13:00,243 --> 00:13:02,043
Elliot is zero gravity.

206
00:13:02,083 --> 00:13:05,803
Not the fun kind. Not, "Ooh, look
at that pen spinning in mid-air."

207
00:13:05,843 --> 00:13:07,483
The bad kind.

208
00:13:07,523 --> 00:13:10,523
Bumping into dead astronauts
and beads of your own piss.

209
00:13:13,483 --> 00:13:14,963
Who is "Janet"?

210
00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:17,643
Janet's my mum. Oh, yeah.

211
00:13:26,923 --> 00:13:28,083
Sami? Yeah?

212
00:13:28,123 --> 00:13:31,123
This is all perfectly normal.
There is a system in place.

213
00:13:31,163 --> 00:13:32,403
What is the system?

214
00:13:32,443 --> 00:13:34,323
It's not perfect,
but it's what we've got.

215
00:13:34,363 --> 00:13:37,443
Monica, it has been six months.

216
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:38,603
What's going on?

217
00:13:38,643 --> 00:13:40,963
Mr Ibrahim, your case is still
under review.

218
00:13:41,003 --> 00:13:42,803
It takes time. Six months
is not unusual.

219
00:13:44,603 --> 00:13:47,403
But I haven't arrived yet.
How much longer do I have to wait?

220
00:13:47,443 --> 00:13:48,803
I can't say.

221
00:13:48,843 --> 00:13:50,243
You are solicitor.

222
00:13:50,283 --> 00:13:51,723
You know these things. You know them.

223
00:13:51,763 --> 00:13:53,403
Each case is different.

224
00:13:53,443 --> 00:13:54,963
Each asylum seeker is different.

225
00:13:55,003 --> 00:13:57,203
You're like snowflakes. I am not
a snowflake.

226
00:13:57,243 --> 00:13:59,923
No, I didn't mean it like that. Oh.

227
00:13:59,963 --> 00:14:01,603
Sami, you know the British.

228
00:14:01,643 --> 00:14:03,603
You know how we love to queue. Yes.

229
00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:06,283
Yes, you love to queue. OK, so this
is the queue.

230
00:14:06,323 --> 00:14:08,323
This is part of the test.

231
00:14:08,363 --> 00:14:10,763
This is the queue. Try to keep calm.

232
00:14:10,803 --> 00:14:13,363
Don't do anything stupid.
Obey the law, OK?

233
00:14:14,483 --> 00:14:17,003
Where am I in this queue?
I don't know.

234
00:14:17,043 --> 00:14:19,523
I'll call you when I have news.
Thank you.

235
00:14:21,523 --> 00:14:22,643
Excuse me.

236
00:14:23,763 --> 00:14:26,683
What? We're waiting here. What
the fuck are you doing?

237
00:14:26,723 --> 00:14:29,603
Nothing. That's my ball there.

238
00:14:29,643 --> 00:14:30,843
What do you want me to do?

239
00:14:30,883 --> 00:14:32,603
What do you think I want you to do?

240
00:14:37,523 --> 00:14:39,123
No, you fucking idiot!

241
00:14:52,963 --> 00:14:54,723
Are you a member?

242
00:14:54,763 --> 00:14:55,883
Not yet.

243
00:14:57,603 --> 00:14:58,603
Not yet.

244
00:15:05,003 --> 00:15:07,803
Sir, no outdoor shoes
in the pool area.

245
00:15:07,843 --> 00:15:10,523
These are sandals. Yes, but...
You are wearing sandals.

246
00:15:10,563 --> 00:15:13,003
These are flip-flops. Flip-flops,
part of sandal family.

247
00:15:13,043 --> 00:15:15,203
You are a radical breakaway
group. Please?

248
00:15:15,243 --> 00:15:17,043
This country and its rules.

249
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:19,803
Yeah, hello, Mr Referee,
more rules, please. Um...

250
00:15:19,843 --> 00:15:21,843
No diving, no bombing.

251
00:15:21,883 --> 00:15:24,043
No bombing? No bombing?!

252
00:15:24,083 --> 00:15:25,803
Oh, oh, oh!

253
00:15:25,843 --> 00:15:29,203
I wish we had you and your whistle
in Aleppo!

254
00:15:29,243 --> 00:15:31,243
Sir?

255
00:15:31,283 --> 00:15:32,283
W-W-What are you doing?

256
00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:43,803
Sir, get out, please. No. I need you
to leave, sir. No.

257
00:15:43,843 --> 00:15:45,083
You're fully clothed!

258
00:15:54,123 --> 00:15:55,323
Fucking "babe."

259
00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:58,083
I don't owe you anything.

260
00:15:58,123 --> 00:15:59,363
Don't talk to me like that.

261
00:15:59,403 --> 00:16:01,283
Were you a virgin? I said, don't
talk to me like that.

262
00:16:01,323 --> 00:16:05,483
Look, what did you think? Just
because I fucked you, you thought
I was going to marry you?Oh!

263
00:16:05,523 --> 00:16:07,283
What the hell is going on here?

264
00:16:07,323 --> 00:16:09,443
He's a fucking pig. Oink oink.

265
00:16:09,483 --> 00:16:12,763
I heard what he said.
Is that how you treat a woman, Jason?

266
00:16:12,803 --> 00:16:14,163
Depends, Miss.

267
00:16:14,203 --> 00:16:15,483
How would you like to be treated?

268
00:16:15,523 --> 00:16:17,323
I beg your pardon?

269
00:16:17,363 --> 00:16:19,443
How would you like me to treat you?

270
00:16:19,483 --> 00:16:21,003
Oh, Jason, please.

271
00:16:21,043 --> 00:16:23,123
I've got yoghurt in the fridge older
than you.

272
00:16:23,163 --> 00:16:24,803
No-one's fucked you in years.

273
00:16:28,163 --> 00:16:31,003
Gemma Bridges, there will be other
wrong men - they happen.

274
00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:35,203
But your mistakes will be
fascinating. Want to know them?

275
00:16:35,243 --> 00:16:37,683
What? There'll be a writer
called Orlando.

276
00:16:37,723 --> 00:16:41,163
He's posh, with an extremely long
face, and he'll put you in one
of his erotic novels,

277
00:16:41,203 --> 00:16:44,163
but you're no-one's muse and you will
leave him weeping on the stone floor

278
00:16:44,203 --> 00:16:46,843
of a Tuscan castle. I think I've gone
off boys.

279
00:16:46,883 --> 00:16:49,763
Your lesbian affair is with a Belgian
tattooist called Martha.

280
00:16:49,803 --> 00:16:51,603
I'm not gay. It's just a fling,

281
00:16:51,643 --> 00:16:53,883
but blooms into
a lifelong friendship,

282
00:16:53,923 --> 00:16:57,083
and you'll catch her eye
on your wedding day and smile.

283
00:16:57,123 --> 00:16:59,203
Who's he? Brett?

284
00:16:59,243 --> 00:17:00,723
Brett's a fireman

285
00:17:00,763 --> 00:17:03,123
and voluntary baby whisperer.

286
00:17:03,163 --> 00:17:06,123
He'll reach into your chest and flip
your heart open like a Japanese fan.

287
00:17:06,163 --> 00:17:07,763
Yeah, and what about me, babe?

288
00:17:11,763 --> 00:17:14,443
What of Jason Maddox?

289
00:17:14,483 --> 00:17:16,203
I've met boys like you before.

290
00:17:16,243 --> 00:17:17,483
You're all the same

291
00:17:17,523 --> 00:17:20,043
with your charming fathers and a mum
with a flinch.

292
00:17:20,083 --> 00:17:22,883
There's time to change,
though, Jason. Best you do.

293
00:17:22,923 --> 00:17:26,523
You're a good looking lad, but that
beauty will melt like a candle.

294
00:17:26,563 --> 00:17:28,683
God's an arsonist and all you'll
be left with

295
00:17:28,723 --> 00:17:30,803
is the content of your character.

296
00:17:30,843 --> 00:17:33,323
And please, don't call
into question my sex life.

297
00:17:33,363 --> 00:17:34,683
I've had a threesome in a graveyard

298
00:17:34,723 --> 00:17:37,283
and given handjobs
in two separate pedalos.

299
00:17:37,323 --> 00:17:39,523
It's all gravy. Class now.

300
00:17:54,283 --> 00:17:55,363
Sami, hi.

301
00:17:55,403 --> 00:17:57,403
Is this Peter?

302
00:17:57,443 --> 00:17:59,123
Yes. Sorry, who's...?

303
00:17:59,163 --> 00:18:01,243
It's Victor. Who?

304
00:18:01,283 --> 00:18:02,963
The beautiful Nigerian dentist

305
00:18:03,003 --> 00:18:06,083
who astonished
you from the bathroom. Oh, right.

306
00:18:06,123 --> 00:18:07,443
Um... OK.

307
00:18:07,483 --> 00:18:10,923
How can I...? You need to come
here immediately, please.

308
00:18:10,963 --> 00:18:12,923
It's Sami. OK.

309
00:18:12,963 --> 00:18:14,843
I'm actually... No haggling.

310
00:18:14,883 --> 00:18:16,843
He needs you. Get here now.

311
00:18:45,243 --> 00:18:47,003
How long's he been in there?
Over an hour.

312
00:18:52,723 --> 00:18:54,763
Excuse me. This is him.

313
00:18:54,803 --> 00:18:58,483
You know the gentleman in there. I
believe so. OK. He's locked himself
in with one of the lifeguards.

314
00:18:58,523 --> 00:19:00,563
He's taken a hostage? We're not
using that language yet

315
00:19:00,603 --> 00:19:02,603
as we're trying to respect
the energy flow of the spa.

316
00:19:02,643 --> 00:19:05,083
That's very thoughtful.
Is he dangerous?

317
00:19:05,123 --> 00:19:07,003
No. No. OK.

318
00:19:07,043 --> 00:19:10,683
Right, we're going to give you five
minutes to persuade him to come out
or we'll have to do it by force,

319
00:19:10,723 --> 00:19:11,963
and that won't end well for him.

320
00:19:12,003 --> 00:19:15,323
Does this make me
chief negotiator? No.

321
00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:17,003
Can I have a stab vest? No. Bring me
to him.

322
00:19:28,323 --> 00:19:31,363
But apart from this,
how was your day? Go home, Peter.

323
00:19:31,403 --> 00:19:34,043
Let me out.
This is a hostage situation.

324
00:19:34,083 --> 00:19:36,363
Hostage situations do not
smell of eucalyptus.

325
00:19:36,403 --> 00:19:37,603
Please enjoy the wellness.

326
00:19:37,643 --> 00:19:39,763
This isn't wellness.
This is madness.

327
00:19:39,803 --> 00:19:40,963
Come on, mate.

328
00:19:41,003 --> 00:19:43,083
You're going to get heat exhaustion
in there.

329
00:19:45,083 --> 00:19:46,723
We are a desert people.

330
00:19:53,243 --> 00:19:55,963
Wouldn't it be wonderful if
the smoke cleared...

331
00:19:57,123 --> 00:19:58,523
..and I had vanished?

332
00:20:06,323 --> 00:20:07,803
Still here? Still here.

333
00:20:10,523 --> 00:20:12,043
Fuck David Blaine.

334
00:20:12,083 --> 00:20:13,523
What's going on, Sami?

335
00:20:13,563 --> 00:20:15,403
I'm not too sure,

336
00:20:15,443 --> 00:20:17,563
sort of found myself here.

337
00:20:17,603 --> 00:20:18,723
This is a protest?

338
00:20:20,043 --> 00:20:21,963
I do not think so.

339
00:20:22,003 --> 00:20:24,203
I don't think so either.

340
00:20:24,243 --> 00:20:26,363
If this was a protest, you'd have
taken your clothes off.

341
00:20:26,403 --> 00:20:29,123
That would not be a protest.
That would be an act of terrorism.

342
00:20:32,043 --> 00:20:34,563
I cannot wait anymore.

343
00:20:34,603 --> 00:20:35,923
Don't give up, mate.

344
00:20:35,963 --> 00:20:38,003
I can't.

345
00:20:38,043 --> 00:20:39,483
They win.

346
00:20:39,523 --> 00:20:40,523
They win.

347
00:20:42,963 --> 00:20:44,643
I'm losing my mind, Peter.

348
00:20:46,363 --> 00:20:49,643
I think I'm trying to melt away.

349
00:20:49,683 --> 00:20:52,363
Sami, if you don't come out...

350
00:20:53,883 --> 00:20:56,123
..I'm going to drag you out.

351
00:20:56,163 --> 00:20:58,763
And they're going to keep dragging
you all the way back to Damascus.

352
00:21:00,203 --> 00:21:02,403
Maybe I want them to.

353
00:21:02,443 --> 00:21:05,443
Everything I've tried to fix
is broken -

354
00:21:05,483 --> 00:21:07,243
asylum, family.

355
00:21:08,803 --> 00:21:11,083
Go back to Syria, at least everything
is rubble.

356
00:21:11,123 --> 00:21:12,683
Nothing left to ruin.

357
00:21:17,523 --> 00:21:18,963
You haven't ruined everything.

358
00:21:25,083 --> 00:21:28,883
You know when I said we are
a desert people? Yes.

359
00:21:28,923 --> 00:21:31,203
We are not a desert people. No.

360
00:21:31,243 --> 00:21:32,883
We are a dessert people.

361
00:21:36,683 --> 00:21:39,243
Open the door, Sami. I can't feel
my legs.

362
00:21:39,283 --> 00:21:40,843
Sami? I miss my boy.

363
00:21:40,883 --> 00:21:41,883
Open the door.

364
00:21:45,163 --> 00:21:46,563
Get the spare room set up.

365
00:21:47,883 --> 00:21:49,683
You'll be spending a few
days with us.

366
00:21:59,163 --> 00:22:00,443
We're back.

367
00:22:08,723 --> 00:22:10,803
You smell pretty bad.

368
00:22:10,843 --> 00:22:13,523
I have been in a sauna
fully clothed.

369
00:22:13,563 --> 00:22:14,923
What's your excuse?

370
00:22:20,843 --> 00:22:22,843
I'm sorry.

371
00:22:22,883 --> 00:22:23,963
Welcome home.

372
00:22:49,083 --> 00:22:52,083
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