[funk song playing]
♪ Looking at you ♪
♪ Talking to you ♪
♪ Touching on you ♪
[vocalizing]
[indistinct chatter]
-[man] Michael Jackson? -[man 2] Yeah.
-[man] Guess who I seen at the store? -[man 2] Who?
-[man] 2Pac. -[both laughing]
-[man 2] I’m dead-ass serious, bruh. -[man] Get the fuck outta here.
The man working the day shift at the Piggly Wiggly over on MLK. On God.
You ain’t see no motherfucking Michael Jackson.
Same face, same hair, same walk, same voice, man.
I been at Piggly Wiggly. Why I never seen the nigga?
-You know why? -Why?
'Cause he Black now.
[arguing continues]
-Shawty, what's up? I got that new Ruckus. -I'm okay, thanks.
Come on, baby. Fuck with me. Fuck with me.
I told you, bro. Come on. I got that new CD.
[boy] Hey. Hey, yo. You all seen Fontaine at the house?
Man, get your ass home, man!
How are we supposed to know? Get the hell home, man!
[funky music playing]
[boy panting]
-Easy weight. Let's go. -Come on.
-One more, weakling. Let's go. -Come on.
-That's it. That's it. -[boy] Hey, Fontaine.
[man grunting]
Hey, Fontaine.
[man exhales]
Heard you the first time, Junebug.
What you got for me?
[Junebug] And there's Squidward.
No, no, no. Squidward just be killing the plot.
I can’t believe you don’t watch SpongeBob. Why not?
Huh, Fontaine? Why don't you watch Spongebob?
'Cause I don't, all right?
Damn.
-Shut your ass up. -[slurping]
You're a real Squidward.
I'm not Squidward.
So you do watch it.
Oh, there he go. See? I told you.
[man] Hold on, man. Give me that one back. Come on, man. For real?
The fuck you want, nigga?
Go and get your ass on, nigga.
All right. That's what I thought.
[Junebug] Patrick started working at the Krusty Krab, right?
But then he kept messing up, so SpongeBob put him on the phones.
[Junebug chuckling]
And he got so mad 'cause he thought everybody was calling him a "crusty crab."
[chuckling]
You was really missing out, man. Hey-o, what you doing?
-Hey, hey, hey! -[car engine revving]
[Junebug] Damn. Crazy ass.
[man groaning]
[man] Shit!
Is that boy dead? Oh. Ah.
[slurping]
[man screaming]
Ow! Fuck!
[Fontaine] Man, you hit my car, bruh.
[groaning] You broke my motherfucking leg.
Man, how you gonna make it to the league now?
[sirens wailing in distance]
[man screaming]
I swear to God, wait till I tell Isaac about this shit!
-Fuck Isaac and fuck you. -[man screaming]
Find somewhere else to sell your shit.
Fuck you, nigga.
Isaac gonna fuck you up when he see you too, nigga!
-Yeah. -[Fontaine] Enjoy your day.
[man moaning]
[car door opening]
[breathing heavily]
[car door closing]
[car engine starting]
[man groaning]
[hip-hop music playing on car stereo]
[cell phone beeping]
[phone ringing]
[reporter] …and because of the crisis, which is even now developing,
this radio station will remain on the air…
-What? -[man] Isaac, motherfucker broke my leg!
-What? -[man] Fontaine! My leg, bruh!
Just wait for me. I'm on the way, all right?
-All right! You know what I mean. -[man] Fontaine, man! [groans]
-We gonna get his ass. -[man] I think I need a--
[receiver clatters]
Can't never get no me time.
[hip-hop music playing]
[Junebug] Yeah.
Five dollars? Where the rest?
Ain't no rest. That's what you get for wasting my time.
[Junebug] Wasting your time? Man, you bullshitting.
Come on. I'm tired of snitching. When are you gonna put me on?
Boy, if you don't go home and do your damn homework--
Talking about "put you on." Get your ass out of here.
[Junebug] Oh my God. Five dollars?
[funky hip-hop music playing]
A pack of Rillos, and let me get one of them scratch-offs.
[man muttering indistinctly]
It's in the water, youngblood.
[Fontaine] I know, Frog.
I know.
[fridge door opens]
[fridge door closes]
Mom, are you hungry?
-[knocking on door] -[TV playing indistinctly]
I made you some sandwiches.
[knocking on door]
[woman] I’m all right, baby.
Josephine had a fish fry at the community center
and I'm still full.
All right.
Got Damn!
[narrator] 'Cause remember, who needs vices
when you got all these herbs and spices at discount prices.
So, if you’re in town, come on down
and get some of this country-fried golden brown
at Got Damn! Fried Chicken.
[knocking on door]
[man speaking indistinctly]
-Hey, boy. -[man] What's happening, big dawg.
What up? Tell me something good, Big Moss.
-[door closing] -[latch clicking]
[Moss] Yo, I'm hotter than a motherfucker.
[Moss sighing heavily]
[Moss] You straight?
That nigga Isaac keeps trying to make a move, man.
[indistinct chatter on TV]
Man, you say the word, and we roll out.
Nigga, you look like you about to pass out.
Go in that damn kitchen and get some damn juice.
-Represent yourself in the best way, man. -[Moss] Man. Shit. [chuckling]
Your couch is already dusty and dingy anyway.
-What the fuck going on here? -[muffled] Say what now?
This shit light.
What had happened was… [munching] …I couldn't find Slick Charles.
He wasn't at the Motel 6?
No.
So where else did you look?
I mean, that's pretty much it. That's where he usually be.
I can go check, man. Do you want me to go--? I can go check.
I'll find him.
[funky hip-hop music playing]
[car horn honking]
[Fontaine] Yo, Biddy.
[Biddy] Hey, Fontaine.
["Nite and Day" by Al B Sure playing on car radio]
Where's Slick Charles at?
Well, he must owe you some money or something.
That toot you snorting ain’t free.
[Biddy exhales, sniffs]
Maybe I seen't him, maybe I ain't.
I just wanna check in with him.
Make sure he good, you know?
Right.
I'm just trying to get a couple dollars so I can get back in college.
Where he at?
The Royal.
[woman chattering indistinctly]
[man] This some bullshit, Isaac.
[groaning] I need some Tylenol or some shit, man.
Shut your bitch ass up.
-[hip-hop music playing over stereo] -Shit, man.
[Charles] Y'all sitting here hungry for some goddamn Showtime!
-Fuck you, Slick Charles. -[Charles] Fuck you.
I'm retiring. And I mean this shit.
Dammit.
Who drank all the motherfucking orange juice? Citrus?
Fuck you and fuck your fucking orange juice.
Damn! There you go again, baby.
Look. Just regale me the latest indignity suffered upon my ace boon coon.
So this clean-cut white nigga, right?
He pulls up in a G-Wagon,
and my Spidey senses, oh they tingling and shit 'cause I'm like,
this nigga, he gotta be 12, or he on some Hannibal shit.
But, you know, I get my Black ass in the car anyway.
Then the nigga had the nerve to pull out a razor blade and cut his dick with it.
And then gonna look at me like I’m supposed to touch the nasty shit.
The fuck I look like?
You look like what you is.
-[woman] Hmm? -Youse a ho.
[R&B music playing]
You know what?
I ain't got to deal with none of this shit.
You ain't nothing but a habitual line-stepping,
Jedi-mind-tricking motherfucker, and I ain't got to deal with it!
-You're gonna deal with it. -[woman] You know why? Do you know why?
Blockchain. That's right, motherfucker. Blockchain.
You remember, uh, Thursday Tony, that trick I used to see on Tuesdays,
who lost his house investing in some bootleg Bitcoin?
Well, that nigga, his plight got me researching this shit.
Cryptocurrency's a bubble, everybody knows that.
But blockchain? Oh, that shit the future.
[Charles chuckling]
[woman] You can laugh if you want to, nigga.
Yo, yo, yo, catch your breath before you pass the fuck out, hmm?
So you're from the blockchain, huh? That's what you investing in?
When you gonna do that? Is that before or after you take off
and backpack through the mountains of Baconia?
-Patagonia. -Whatever the fuck.
[funky music playing]
[car engine revving]
[indistinct chatter]
[music ends]
[woman] No! I don't need no damn valet, you bastard.
Shit! Ow!
[woman exclaiming]
[woman] Hello. Room 107.
Motherfucker.
[banging on door]
[Charles] You know what? That's why I named your ass Yo-Yo,
'cause you always come right back.
Shit. Shit.
[R&B music playing]
[Charles sighing heavily]
[banging on door]
Fontaine. Man, where the hell you been at, huh?
I've been looking for your Black ass all over the universe.
You know, you late. You know we got shit we gotta settle.
Come on, OG. Where the money at?
Where the money at? [chuckling]
Nigga, where the drugs at?
'Cause that powdered sugar you sold me ain't hitting on shit.
What we should be talking about is a… a… a layaway plan,
or a… a motherfucking, uh, uh, carryover or something,
'cause you… you fucking with the wrong nigga here.
You can always give it back.
But-- [sighing]
-Listen. -[Fontaine] Move, bitch.
This is what I was thinking.
How about we just wipe the slate clean, Fontaine? Know what I'm sayin'?
And we both just grow, my nigga. Huh?
Hey, hey. Listen, listen. Fontaine, why don't you take a ho on me?
You look stressed.
I don't really appreciate how you coming in here, you know,
attacking my castle like that, you know, in front of my flowers.
You know what I'm saying, Fontaine? Fontaine! Fontaine! Fontaine, goddamn it!
I was a 1995 International Players Ball "Pimp of the Year."
Show me some motherfucking respect!
Childhood-ass nigga!
Fontaine. Listen, we ain't liquid like we used to be, okay?
Look, they dehydrated.
These chickens ain't clucking like they used to.
It's a cold front.
That's all my contingency right there.
Okay?
Fontaine, why don't you just give me some more days, huh?
You is a grinch!
-We can settle up another way if you want. -You think I'm scared of you, nigga?
[exhales]
Why does it always gotta be Black-on-Black crime? Hmm?
Black men are supposed to support they niggas!
Take your shit. Dramatic ass. You're lucky I’m a lover, not a fighter.
Bitch-ass nigga.
Hmm? What'd you say?
That's what I thought. Get out of here. Wasting my motherfucking air.
Y'all ain't shit.
[lighter clicking]
[Fontaine inhaling, exhaling]
[lighter clicks]
[car engine rumbling]
[hip-hop music playing loudly over stereo]
[gear shifting]
[car horn honking]
[engine clicks off]
[gun cocking]
[guns firing]
[Fontaine grunting]
[Fontaine groaning, gurgling]
[car engine revving loudly]
[car crashing]
[Fontaine grunting]
-[car engine revving] -[car crashing]
[Fontaine screaming]
[dog barking]
[hip-hop music playing loudly on stereo]
[dogs barking]
[somber funk music playing]
[tires screeching]
[soulful vocalizing]
[vocalizing distorting]
[indistinct voices overlapping]
[Fontaine grunting, breathing heavily]
-[clattering] -[man and woman arguing]
[R&B music playing]
[funky music playing]
-[man] All right. Yeah. -[man 2] Get thirsty! Let's go. Let's go!
You playing?
A pack of Rillos, let me get one of them scratch-offs.
[dog barking]
Youngblood, straighter is greater, you hear me?
Straighter is motherfucking greater!
-[Fontaine] Yeah, yeah. -[Frog chuckling]
[hip-hop music playing on stereo]
[bell ringing]
[ominous music playing]
[tires screeching]
-[man] Oh no! No! Get off me! Hey! No, no! -[car door opens, closes]
[tires screeching]
[Frog] Off to see the wizard again.
[Fontaine scoffing]
[woman on TV] …says wasn't nobody. Just Reggie down at the job,
but, Your Honor, I can tell he was lying.
Don't no friend on the job make you all smiley face in no text message.
So, you know, I waited,
and while this fool went to the bathroom, he left his phone.
Wanted to see it, so, okay, I picked it up and went through it.
Let me tell you something, Your Honor, it wasn't no Reggie from the job.
-[knocking on door] -Mama.
[knocking on door]
You want something to eat?
[woman] Not right now. I'm watching my stories.
[funk music playing]
[sighs]
2Clean Perm Cream. Because straighter is greater.
Watch my cuticle now.
[Charles wincing]
Be gentle with it. Respect it. Respect that cuticle.
[woman] Hmm.
[banging on door]
[funk music playing over radio]
Shit. Y'all bitches have somebody come over?
[woman] Mm-mm.
-Who that? Shit! -[Fontaine] We gotta do this every time?
-Open the damn door. -Ain't no way. It ain't no way.
Damn. It's Fontaine. Ain't no way, Jesus.
Jesus, what're you doing? You send a ghost to a pimp?
-[Fontaine] I want my money, man. -Ain't no way!
-[Fontaine] You got five seconds. Five… -How did this happen?
There's gotta be a logical explanation to this. Am I seeing shit?
[Fontaine] Man, three, I'mma bust your shit open.
Man, open the damn door!
[banging on door]
You know why I'm here?
[Charles shuddering]
I think we got more pressing issues to talk about.
-And what's that? -They shot your ass.
Nigga, where the money at?
Do you not remember getting lit the fuck up?
You should be breathing through some tubes right now.
-Look. I don't have time-- -You took it. Fontaine, you took it.
You came in here, you went through my haberdasheries.
You passed up on my beige bitch, and you went outside and pulled a 50 Cent.
[Charles panting]
-I told your ass if you wanna settle-- -We can settle it another way.
Ain't no way. Shit.
You Ghost of Christmas Past-ass nigga.
What the fuck kind of shit you playing on, huh?
You done sold your soul to the devil. I know what you did. I know what you did.
If there ain't no juice in this motherfucker, throw the damn bottle away!
[whispering] Fontaine.
I seen them niggas shoot your ass six times.
Mm-hmm.
[Charles panting]
You think I'm lying, nigga?
You ask Yo-Yo. She took off on me just before your ass got in here.
Ask that trifling ass bitch which one of us is crazy.
[funky music playing]
-Uh-uh. -[man] Come on, baby.
You ain’t getting no motherfucking David Carradine for 50 bucks.
Most I can do for you is a Susan Sarandon.
-Let me get that. -[Yo-Yo] Maybe a Shalamar.
Nigga, you better get this good deal.
My bad, Yo-Yo. Need to steal you for a minute.
[man] Don't you see we busy here?
Don't you see we'll split your wig down the middle
and you'll be a half a nigga?
Get your beige ass the fuck out of here. You fake Obama-looking motherfucker.
That ain't Michelle, nigga.
Y'all owe me 50 dollars.
I am retired.
I just need some more dough before I can get to Memphis.
[Charles] There it is again, that slippery slope of recidivism.
-I hate to see it. -When I'm there, I'mma find me a real man.
Yeah, I'll find you a real man, 'cause I'm a real motherfucker.
[Yo-Yo] Not some McDonald’s-dollar-menu has-been-ass nigga in a Goodwill suit.
Keep talking goddamnit, and I'mma slip out of this Goodwill suit
-and slap that fake-ass wig off… -What the fuck did you--?
…with nothing but my Gucci boxers on
and be back in this coat before it wrinkles.
You know I can do it.
[Yo-Yo] Oh, here you go with this ninja pimp shit.
Hey!
I just need to clear something up with you real quick.
And you can be right back on your merry hoeing way.
Uh…
Okay.
You seen me last night?
[Yo-Yo] Not like that.
No. Like, literally.
You seen me?
Are you Kevin Bacon?
Wait. What?
Hollow Man. [chuckling]
-That was a good one. You liked it. -Good movie. Good movie. Yeah.
And I picked that one. You… mm-hmm. Okay.
Yes, nigga. I saw you.
You heard them shots after?
I mean, I got ears, don’t I? Somebody was letting them bitches loose.
To be honest, I thought it was you doing me a favor.
Yo-Yo.
So, what you tryin' to say? You ain't seen nothin'?
I mean, I didn't say all of that. [scoffing]
You know your girl gotta know what’s going on in these streets.
So, yeah. I doubled back after a cool little minute.
I think I saw the perpetrators leaving.
-[Charles] I told you. -[Yo-Yo grunting]
Well, and?
[Yo-Yo scoffing]
Yeah. I recognize the whip, 'cause I do house calls over on Second.
Hold on. I ain't sanctioned that shit.
Sometimes, I see the car parked a few driveways down.
So, yeah. It looked mad familiar.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! -[car engine starting]
[scoffing] I'm done. You said I could go on my merry hoeing way.
[DJ] It's your boy, DJ Strangelove. I know it's been a long day.
I know you need that tall glass of wine. I got that new Ruckus,
"So Tired."
Damn, I hate this motherfucking song.
["So Tired" by Twelve'len playing]
Fontaine, can you change this depressing-ass shit?
Every time this song come on, I get…
[yawning] …sleepy as hell.
[all yawning]
Mm. The house coming up on the left over here. Oh, that's the car right there.
What the hell you looking at? That ain’t the car.
-That is the car. -Yo-Yo, that ain't the car.
-I know what I saw. Don't tell me-- -Wait a minute.
[Fontaine] I know that car.
[Charles] What you talking about?
[Fontaine] I saw it earlier the other day at the liquor store.
[Charles] So? Every rapper and ball player, they all drive that shit.
-[car engine turns off] -[keys jangling]
[Charles] Oh, goddamn it.
You know what, Fontaine? You got this, uh, Rambo-esque look about you.
So I'mma let you go and do your thing, and I'mma just sit right here in the car.
Fresh air might be good for a nigga, though.
[funky music playing]
[Yo-Yo] Man, I ain't with this X-Files shit.
[Charles] Fontaine, this ain't no pimpin'. There ain't nothing pimp about this.
Fuck! I dropped my ring.
[door slams]
-This nigga is crazy. -[Yo-Yo] Fuck!
You doin' too much.
[Charles] Get over here.
-[Yo-Yo] Damn. -[Charles] Fontaine.
[Charles sighing]
[Yo-Yo] Wow. This nigga gonna go inside.
Right. Oh damn.
[floorboards creaking]
[Yo-Yo] It's kind of nice.
Some good bones in this bitch.
Oh, yeah. See, this is cute. This could be the living room.
Maybe some dark wood, some floral patterns.
[whispering] Where this room go?
[tense music playing]
[Yo-Yo] Damn.
Oh shit.
-[Charles] What you doing? -[Yo-Yo] Come here.
[Yo-Yo shushing] There might be somebody in here.
[door squeaking]
[Yo-Yo] What the fuck is this?
Anybody else getting a spooky feeling around here?
This nigga's got a break room?
Yeah. Break from what?
Trapping?
[Charles] Bloodsport.
[Yo-Yo] Lockers and shit?
[Fontaine scoffing]
Got a trap house for what? Put that down.
Uh, this shit's still warm.
-[gun cocking] -We leaving?
-[Charles] Fontaine? -[Yo-Yo] Let's go. Come on.
-You're going the wrong way. Damn. Shit. -[Charles] Fontaine, the other way.
Damn. God--
[funky music playing]
[elevator doors creaking]
[Yo-Yo] Oh shit. They got an elevator in this bitch?
See what I'm saying? It's too crazy.
You don't make-- Fontaine? Fontaine. What you doing?
Fontaine, get your ass out that goddamn elevator.
You know what? You have it your way.
All right, Yo-Yo.
I need you to get your ass in the motherfucking car right now.
Fifteen minutes.
-Slick. -It's an elevator in a goddamn trap house.
Doesn't it make your Spider senses tingle?
Slick, come on.
Man, come on.
Fine.
Huffing and puffing at me.
[funky music swelling]
[Charles] We don't spelunk. White people spelunk. We spelunking.
Girl, you done lost your rabbit-ass mind? Why you got a gun?
'Cause I don't know what's on the other side of these damn doors.
[sighing] See?
[whispering] Why the hell I'm on here with y'all?
[music playing faintly]
Hey, y'all hear that?
Yeah, motherfucker.
Well, you never know.
["Don't Stop Till You Get Enough" by Michael Jackson playing]
[man] To the right, oh, now back it up Back it up, and here we go
Gonna pull that shit
♪ Keep on, with the force, don't stop Don't stop 'til you get enough ♪
[stereo clicking off]
[chemicals bubbling]
[Yo-Yo] Get him, 'Taine. Get him!
-[keypad beeping] -[door hissing]
No, no, no, no, no. Please, please. [grunting]
Okay, okay, okay. Please, please, please.
-You better talk, nigga. -I'm just a tech, man. That's all.
-What kind of shit is this, Yo-Yo? -I don't know.
Don't your ass touch shit.
-Who are you? -I…I… I'm just staff, okay? Don't hurt me.
-Staff for what? -Nothing, man.
-I'm just trying to collect a paycheck. -[Fontaine] By doing some creepy shit?
Yeah. You get them answers, Fontaine.
[tech] …you know? I pay my taxes.
I'm just weird about guns in my face, all right?
I… I talk a lot with a gun in my face.
This is new for me. I know this isn't new for you.
-What? -I don't know if this is new for you.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
[Fontaine] Man, shut the fuck up.
Goddamn.
Ain't no snow, but I can still ski in it.
-[blow landing] -[tech grunting, coughing]
-Okay. [panting] -I ain't playing with your ass.
I… I… I know, man. I know, but… but you don't want to do this, man.
We're… we're everywhere.
[ominous music playing]
Nigga, who the fuck is "we"?
[clattering]
Uh…
[Charles sniffing, smacking lips]
[Charles giggling]
[Fontaine] Hey, Slick.
You rang?
Oh Jesus.
Where did they find a white nigga with an afro anyway?
[tech breath shuddering] I--
[Charles giggling]
[Charles] You definitely ain't in the colored section…
What is you? Hmm?
Tapioca spun--
[Charles giggling]
Tapioca--
Beige… Banana.
Okay. Okay, um… Please. Just-- [whimpering]
[Charles] You look like a game show host. That's what you look like.
You look like a manila folder.
-[Charles giggling] -[Yo-Yo exclaiming]
[Charles] What'd you do to me?
-[tech] Put it down, please? -[Charles] Put what down?
I'll put it down on your ass. [giggling]
You don't understand what the fuck is going on, do you?
[tech] No. I don't know, man.
Just… [groaning]
[arguing continue in background]
Please, please, please.
[Yo-Yo exclaiming]
Oh shit! God--
[tech groaning]
-Shit! Oh goddamn. -[Yo-Yo screaming]
Yo-Yo, goddamn. Look what you made me do.
-Me? You just shot him. -Shit.
Hey, there. Come on, player. Come on now.
Come on now, player. Just stay in there.
-We ain't got time for sensitivity shit. -This motherfucker dead.
We ain't got time for negativity. Go get some goddamn wet naps.
-Wet naps, nigga? Come on! -Come on, player. Get on your feet.
Come on. Holy shit. Fontaine, let's go.
Fontaine, let's go!
-[Charles] Lickety-split, now! -What you doing? Let's go!
[Charles] Fontaine--
[ominous music playing]
Uh, come on now.
-We… we gotta… we gotta go. -[alarm blaring]
We gotta go.
[all breathing heavily]
[Yo-Yo] Let's go, let's go, let's go.
[Yo-Yo shouting indistinctly]
[Yo-Yo] You… you killed somebody!
[Charles] Everybody makes mistakes! The motherfucker moved! Shit…
[Yo-Yo shouting indistinctly]
[Charles] Y'all gonna ride all motherfuckin' night, man.
Y'all not coming to the Royal with me with this shit.
[Charles yelling indistinctly]
[Yo-Yo] Fuck! Fuck!
I know a place. I know a fucking place.
[funky music playing]
[tires screeching]
-[car door closing] -[Charles] Come on. Come on, Fontaine.
[car door closing]
[Charles grunts]
Come on.
Whose house is this?
[grunting] My grandma's.
[Charles] They say curiosity killed the cat,
and I'm telling you right now, we some motherfucking cats.
We cool cats, but we still cats.
How many adventures this bitch been on?
Hmm?
I can’t get no tea?
I ain't your mama.
And my grandmama got ears like a bat. So mind y'all manners.
[Charles] Listen. I say we act like a turkey.
Stick our head in the sand and leave this alone, act like it didn't happen.
[Yo-Yo] Like an ostrich, you stupid motherfucker. I don't know--
[Charles] When you're actin' up and smell like fish, get out the water.
And right now, we's a goddamn sushi bar.
That wasn't me.
[Charles] Hmm?
I don't know what that was, but that wasn't me.
[Charles] Nigga, what? That wasn't you?
-[Yo-Yo] No one said-- -I'm me.
-Motherfucker, I seen them shoot your ass. -Do I look real to you?
-What, do I look like a fucking ghost? -Yo. My grandmama. My grandmama.
Look. Don't none of us know what the hell that was back there. Okay?
[panting] But… Hey, hey, but look.
Shit like this always happens to my girl Nancy Drew.
-Don't start with that cartoon shit. -Hear me out.
Sis be coming across some weird, kinky shit that don’t make no sense,
but in the end, it always turns out to be
some regular-degular, missionary-position vanilla shit.
Hey! Where the fuck you going? Wait, wait. No. Shit.
I ain't got time for this shit. I'm going back. Fuck that.
Okay, look. Somebody is fucking with you. Okay?
You wanna know why, you wanna know who? Cool.
But the block is hotter than a fresh perm now.
So whoever it is, they're probably looking for us as we speak.
So, you go back out there, you’re liable to lead them back to us.
Me. And I ain’t getting probed for no nigga. Okay?
[inhales sharply]
So… so I just need you to fucking chill.
Just fucking chill. Look, you can stay here for the night.
And tomorrow, Dexter’s lab will be there.
And… and… and we will go find out what that missionary-position shit is,
just like my girl Nancy.
I promise.
I… I promise.
[suspenseful music playing]
-[Fontaine scoffing] -Please.
[Fontaine sighing]
[Yo-Yo] Okay. Good.
Everybody just take a deep fucking breath.
I don't get it.
Don't make no dollars. This don't make no goddamn sense.
Running around here tempting the devil and shit.
[birds chirping]
[indistinct yelling in distance]
Shit. Shit, shit, shit.
Hey, hey, hey.
-[Charles yelling] -[Yo-Yo yelling]
Where the fuck is Fontaine?
[guns cocking]
[Moss] Yo. What we looking for, big dawg?
[door sliding]
Yo, what's happening, man? Rap with me now.
No, no, no.
[Moss] Hey, big dawg. You know I ain’t trying to rush you, man,
but it looks like we probably got ourselves here a Goldilocks situation.
I don't think you understand, man. [breathing heavily]
There was an elevator underground and a… and a… and a lab.
And… and… and this white motherfucker with an afro.
[breathing heavily]
Hey, man. Um,
you think you might need some water?
Sometimes when I'm skressed out, man, I drink me a bottle of water, I be good.
What the doctors say? We 82, 83% water, man.
How all the cells in your body supposed to undergo osmosis--?
[Moss talking indistinctly]
[Moss] Hey, man. It's all good!
Even players mess up every once in a while.
Look, you know what? Matter of fact? We all about to get some water.
[man] Yeah?
[Moss] We all about to get some of this hydration.
What you doing, man?
Hey! Hey, man! I thought… I thought we were riding with you.
It's different now. Like, they got a whole family living there.
-What about the lab? -[Fontaine] Gone.
That creepy-ass elevator? That's gone too.
Damn. They did have good walls.
Either that or I'm going crazy.
And last night, that shit happened, right?
[Charles] I had a nightmare that the shit happened.
So, yeah, it happened.
Ho ain't got no crackers or nothing? You got pots and pans.
Your grandma ain't cook nothing? I'm starving.
[Yo-Yo] Yo, shut up. Will you let me think for five seconds? Just stop.
What would that Scooby-Doo bitch do?
Nancy Drew?
[Fontaine] Mm-hmm. Bitch in them books.
Uh… uh… [groaning]
Yeah, yeah. Hmm.
-I mean, she probably would… -[commercial playing heavenly music]
While we are sitting around a table,
why don't we sit around a table that's got some food on it?
A pimp's blood sugar is falling fast.
[funky music playing]
We could use some comfort food right about now.
[narrator] Limited time only, Hot Box spicy, fried-chicken
Come try our secret recipe.
-[bell ringing] -[Yo-Yo] Please get this nigga some food.
[Charles] Look at that.
-[all munching] -[Yo-Yo] Mmm. Mmm…
Goddamn! That's some flavor right there.
[indistinct chatter]
Yo, missionary position.
-What we doing? -Right. Right.
Okay.
As with any mystery, you gotta lay out the facts.
[Charles] Mm-hmm.
[Yo-Yo] What is it we know?
-[Charles] I'll tell you what we do know. -What?
He dead. [chuckling]
-He ain't here no more. -[Yo-Yo laughing]
[Charles and Yo-Yo laughing]
-He ain't here. -But, but, but plot twist.
-The nigga also right here. -Yeah. [laughing]
-Which makes what? Two Fontaines? -Two Fontaines. Double 'Taine.
And we also know there's an underground trap-house laboratory.
[all chuckling]
[Yo-Yo] But Deebo here, he said the damn elevator gone.
And that shit or whatever clues we had is 100 feet buried under the ground.
[all laughing]
That's what I've been trying to tell you. It won't hurt to smile once in a while.
You know, I've known this motherfucker for years, I ain't never seen him laugh.
Not once.
I've never seen him laugh.
I've never seen you laugh.
Yeah.
You know, I ain't seen him laugh once.
[patrons laughing]
[unsettling music playing]
[unsettling music swelling]
[Charles] Shit!
-It's the chicken. -Nigga.
-It's the goddamn chicken. -[Yo-Yo] What?
It's the chicken.
The… the powder.
The powder in the chicken.
Look. When I was in the trap house, there was a white powder there.
I thought it was cocaine. I took some, it wasn't cocaine.
I start laughing, you break something, I shoot a nigga. Now we're here.
We eat this chicken, we all laughing.
It's in the fucking chicken.
That Muppet-looking motherfucker is the one who sold it to us.
Are you connecting these dots?
Oh fuck. Hey, nigga, chill. We in public.
-Relax. -I wanna ask him a few questions.
-We know how you ask questions. -Nigga, you ain't got good bedside manner.
-Let… let me go talk to him. -What?
Let me do my thing.
Five minutes.
Teamwork, guys. Teamwork. Don't forget. There's no "I" in "Got Damn."
[Yo-Yo] Excuse me. [giggling]
-[man] Hello. -[Yo-Yo] Hi.
This soda flat.
[slurping]
I wanna file a complaint.
[both giggling]
It's our motto.
There's just something about that new spicy chicken.
It does something to me. [giggling]
It has that effect on people.
-It's a new recipe. -[Yo-Yo moaning]
-Ooh. -Top secret.
-I like secrets. -[man exclaiming]
Do you?
Uh-huh. Go get me some.
[man chuckling] I can't do that.
It's… it's… it's company… company policy to--
That's my… my chair.
Uh-huh.
You ever heard of a Shalamar?
Shalamar?
Yeah.
-You gonna give me a Shalamar? -You gonna give me some chicken?
[exhales sharply]
Don't move.
-Uh-huh. -Don't move.
-And a biscuit. Uh-huh. -A biscuit?
Whatever you want from me.
Ooh, and… and… and a sweet tea.
Oh, it won't be as sweet as you, baby.
-And, um… um, some… some coleslaw. -[man] Okay.
-Yeah, yeah. -[man] Whatever you want.
[Yo-Yo laughing]
Hurry back. [whispering] Motherfucker.
[funky music playing]
[phone ringing]
[man] Report 65A-3. Recorded on November 2nd.
Distribution point, gamma 8, 6 days post introduction of compound H.
The pleasure-inducing effects of the powder
observed approximately 44 seconds after consumption
as expressed through extreme laughter and agreeability.
Approximately 25% of the tested subjects in experiment population
experience side effects of sporadic muscle contractions.
In reference to control group Beta 3, uh,
well, I'll report more later on that.
11261 signing out.
[whispering] Control group.
[door opening]
Still wet from the fryer.
Ooh, right here.
[man inhaling, moaning]
-Oh yeah. -I could get in so much trouble for this.
-Ooh, that's what makes it exciting. -Yeah. I like that.
Ooh, what do you have?
-Ooh, you like big, brown thighs? -I love big, brown thighs.
-Oh yeah? Bite. -Yes.
-Yeah, oh yeah! -[man moaning]
[man] Yeah. Oh sit down, baby. Sit on Daddy's lap.
-Okay. -[man] Oh yeah.
-Oh, baby. -Oh shit.
-[man] Talk dirty to me. Talk dirty to me. -[Yo-Yo] Oh wow!
-Motherfuckers. -[man] Yeah, motherfuckers.
-Fucking cock-- -[man laughing]
You know what? [grunting]
I have to, uh… Excuse me. [giggling]
Move that. I have to run to the ladies' room.
-Oh no. You don't-- -You just wait right here.
-Don't eat this shit. Don't eat it. -[Fontaine] What happened?
Keep walking.
[Charles] They watching the strip club too?
Everywhere. If it’s in the Glen, they’re watching it.
And… and it's only here.
Because I'm telling y'all, I looked at every single one of them screens,
and they're only watching places that's in our neighborhood.
Man, who gives a fuck about the Glen?
And that ain't it. 'Cause your boy, he taking observations and shit.
-Notes. Like, about the chicken. -[Charles] What?
-And what it's doing to people. -[Charles] Come on.
[hip-hop music playing faintly]
[whispering] Somebody is conducting experiments on us.
[Charles] So you… you're saying it's a conspiracy. Like “The Man.”
Uh… uh… uh, 9/11. Uh… uh… uh… The Berenstain Bears.
Yeah. What else could it be?
And my thing is… Look. If we can find out who is behind it--
Hold on. I don't wanna be the drawers that's climbing up the crack of your ass.
-What? -But listen.
There's one important detail that you're leaving out.
We ain't no goddamn detectives.
Let's cut it out. Let's be honest with each other.
-You's a ho. I'm a entrepreneur. -[Yo-Yo] Fuck you.
Fuck me if you want to. And he's a goddamn drug dealer.
-[Yo-Yo] Why you so negative all the time? -[Charles] Negative?
I'm the only realistic motherfucker in this car.
[Fontaine] All right, hold on. Now, they drug dealers too.
["I Want to Thank You" by Alicia Myers playing]
Huh.
[Charles] Oh shit. Here we go.
♪ I wanna thank you, Heavenly Father ♪
♪ For shining Your light on me ♪
♪ You sent me someone Who really loves me ♪
♪ And not just my body ♪
♪ He keeps me happy, so very happy… ♪
That your kid?
Touchy subject.
It's my brother Ronnie, all right?
Well, he is a sweet-looking kid.
Hopefully, he doesn't take after you too much. [chuckling]
♪ I know it could not happen Without Your love ♪
[Yo-Yo] Oh.
♪ Without Your love ♪
He…
-My bad. I'm sorry-- -You good.
[Yo-Yo] What happened?
Bitch-ass cop.
Probably looking for an excuse. Said he--
Said he stole some candy or some shit.
[car horn honking]
[car door opening, closing]
Me and you, we should go check them out up close.
Slick, go see what else is in that van.
[Charles] Why me?
[Fontaine] Nigga, you nimble.
Calling me nimble?
[Yo-Yo chuckling]
-[car door closing] -I ain't nimble, I'm a Taurus.
[woman] That's right, talk about it.
[Yo-Yo] Ree-Ree!
-[Ree-Ree] Yo-Yo? My girl. -[Yo-Yo] Hey, girl.
-[Ree-Ree] What's the tea? -Not much. Not much. Can you get us in?
[police siren wailing]
What the hell is going on in here?
What kind of governmental shit is this?
[woman] You know how much a school board member make?
Hell of a lot more than me. You know how many they teach? Nobody.
I got 44 kids in my little-ass classroom.
[pop music playing over radio]
Ooh, these devious motherfuckers.
[indistinct chatter]
[Yo-Yo] What you think it's doing to them?
[woman] I'm serious. Okay?
At this point,
I'm using my gas money to pay for school supplies for my classroom.
And now the board members are gonna cut our pay again.
This shit is just--
[sighing heavily]
Maybe I'm just tripping, you know?
-I bet this shit in everything. -[door opens]
[Isaac] For a minute I thought I was crazy.
But lo and behold.
[Charles] Grape drink?
Come the fuck on.
You got some good-ass luck. I'll give you that.
I'll show you luck, nigga.
-Y'all need to take that outside. -[Isaac] All right.
Hey, we just talking. Ain't that right?
-Let's go. -We done talking.
-No, no. Come here, Lazarus. -That's what you're trying to do?
[man] How about we try that new place?
Man, you came back from the dead.
You got all these holes in you last time I seen you.
-[Fontaine] Don't matter. -[Isaac] I need some answer.
-[Fontaine] Who are you? -[Isaac] I'm nervous right now.
-That's what it is? -Yeah.
Okay. You know what? Y'all niggas can measure dicks later.
You letting hos tell you what to do?
-Oh wow. -I said take that bullshit outside.
And I said we just talking. Damn. Always got something to say.
[Yo-Yo sighing]
I got a haircut to get back to, but I'm gonna see you around, though.
But I'm gonna see you around, though.
You know what? He will call you later. Okay. We going.
-What is wrong with you? -[Fontaine] Which way they go?
[Yo-Yo] I don't know. Pick a direction.
-What you doing? -Uh, calling Slick Charles.
You know, the pimp we just lost.
[cell phone ringing]
This motherfucker.
Ugh! I'm supposed to be halfway to fucking Memphis by now!
Fuck.
"Straighter is greater."
Kiss my Black ass.
[Fontaine] "Straighter is greater."
[Frog] Youngblood and Foxy Brown.
Man, straighter is greater.
-What the fuck does that mean? -Right here.
It means it’s on your head, in your head, by your head, on your head…
-This nigga drunk. He drunk. -…and under your head.
[Frog] In the land of the blind, Foxy Brown. In the land--
Hey. Why you say that? Why you say that, Frog? What you know?
You gotta go to the last stop on the train, youngblood.
Toot, toot.
Frog. Frog.
One straight answer.
The answer?
Where does everybody go to get answers?
Church. Church?
The big man will always point the way. Every time.
-Church. Okay. -Frog, there's ten churches in the Glen.
Which one?
When you're trying to get out of Babylon, where the fuck else you gonna go?
[funky music playing]
[Yo-Yo] Ooh, Nancy Drew ain't got shit on me.
Maybe look around back.
There it go. There it go right there.
[Yo-Yo grunting]
[Yo-Yo] Slick!
Ooh, it's open. Slick, you in there?
-Slick? -[Fontaine] He in there?
[chain rattling]
[Charles yelling]
-[Yo-Yo] Hold on. Shit -[Charles] Let me out!
Damn, Fontaine, you ain't no stronger than that?
My girl Nancy Drew, she could open Fort Knox with this shit.
[Charles] Come on.
-Yo-Yo, bring your ass. -I'll leave your Black ass in there.
-Hold on. -[Charles] Ain't gonna do shit.
-Fuck you all at? -[Yo-Yo] Damn.
Let me out of this motherfucker. Been in this van for a whole goddamn hour.
You find anything?
I found out I was claustrophobic as a motherfucker.
Ain't nothing in there.
But some boxes and some nefarious wares, and…
Let's see… let's see, this strange-ass, uh, key card right here.
-Ooh. What the hell? -[Fontaine] Where they at?
They went inside, grabbed a box, and never came back.
[train horn blaring]
Looks like we going to church today.
-[Charles] Church? -Ooh, hold up.
-I ain't going to church. -[Yo-Yo] Nigga, bring your ass…
Me and Jesus ain't been right since I pimped this girl named Mary.
[congregation clapping, cheering]
[minister exclaiming]
[organ music playing]
-[minister] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! -Yes!
[congregation clamoring]
♪ Oh ♪
[woman] Yes, Lord!
-[scattered whooping] -[woman] Come on!
-Say it with me if you will. His eyes! -[congregation] His eyes!
-[minister] Are everywhere. -Are everywhere.
Keeping watch over the wicked and the good, but also the wicked.
[congregation] Yeah!
And do you know what he wants most out of each and every one of you?
Say it with me if you will. I know you know.
Obedience.
[congregation] Obedience.
♪ Yeah ♪
They give Jim Jones a run for his money.
[Charles] They got the Kool-Aid part down too.
♪ 'Cause it don't matter How bad your life is ♪
[man] That's right!
♪ It don't matter That you're about to get evicted ♪
♪ It don't matter If you got a light bill due ♪
♪ It don't matter If you got a gas bill too ♪
♪ It don't matter ♪
♪ If your grandson Jamal was gunned down In a drive-by shooting ♪
♪ Right next to the Dairy Queen ♪
-♪ Oh ♪ -[congregation cheering]
♪ Trust in His vision ♪
♪ Trust ♪
Say it with me…
-♪ Trust ♪ -[congregation] Trust!
Whoo!
♪ Trust ♪
[organ music swellling]
[minister] ♪ Trust ♪
[congregation exclaiming]
[minister] ♪ Trust ♪
♪ Trust ♪
Hit me!
[funky music playing]
[congregation cheering]
Uh,
I ain't been to church in a while, but something is up.
-[music stops] -[door closing]
[organ music playing]
[objects clattering]
[Fontaine] Point the way, huh?
OG, got that key card?
[Charles] Hmm.
-[beeps] -[funky music playing]
[whirring]
[funky music swelling]
[music stops]
[Yo-Yo sighing]
♪ I'm going down ♪
♪ To the underground ♪
♪ Hope niggas don't drown ♪
♪ And get fucked up ♪
-♪ Right now ♪ -[Charles beatboxing]
♪ Let a motherfucker try me ♪
♪ Ooh, he gonna die beside me ♪
♪ I don't know why, why, why, why ♪
[tense music playing]
[man] I'm telling you it's not the same.
-The net's a different height. -Damn.
[man] You're using a shuttlecock, and it's fucking flying a lot faster.
[banging]
[door hissing]
[Yo-Yo] What now?
Y'all just wait here.
[door closing]
Y'all know where I can get one of them suits?
[indistinct chatter]
[announcer] Remember, keep badges present at all times.
[engine revving]
[car horn honking]
[Yo-Yo] Excuse me, sir. Goddamn.
[Fontaine] What is this place?
[Charles] Where we at?
[Yo-Yo] Under the Glen.
Oh.
[computer beeping, trilling]
["Love Hangover" by Diana Ross playing]
♪ If there's a cure for this I don't want it ♪
♪ Don't want it ♪
♪ If there's a cure for this I don't want it ♪
♪ I don't want it ♪
♪ Think about it all the time ♪
Got a 604 over on 22nd.
[Fontaine] This shit is crazy, man. What don't they control?
[woman] Ugh. I swear, I'm done with his broke ass.
Ain't fucking do nothing for me.
[woman 2] Good, it's about time.
[woman] Girl, that's his ass calling right now.
♪ Love and love you make it ♪
♪ If there's a cure for this I don't want it ♪
♪ I don't want it ♪
♪ If there's a remedy I'll run from it ♪
♪ Run from it ♪
♪ Think about it all the time ♪
-♪ Never let it out of my mind ♪ -[man groaning]
♪ 'Cause I love you ♪
[man screaming]
[computer] You can feel beautiful.
[ominous laughing]
[computer] I can feel beautiful.
[hysterical laughter]
-You can feel beautiful. -I can feel beautiful.
[laughter continues]
♪ I don't want to get over ♪
[inaudible]
[men grunting]
[hip-hop music playing over stereo]
[soft R&B music playing]
♪ I need a hug ♪
♪ I got the sweetest hangover ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
[door closing]
Evil motherfuckers. They some evil motherfuckers.
No, no, no. We done crossed the Rubicon.
This… this ain't no vanilla missionary shit.
This some… some sex dungeon, mint-chocolate-chip bukkake shit.
-Y'all realize what they doing, right? -Experimenting on niggas. I was there.
Nigga, mind control!
The… the chicken, the… the communion, the perm cream.
All to fuck with how we feel, what we do, what we think.
-To control us. -But why?
Do it matter?
They're Clockwork Orangeing niggas.
-We their target audience. We gots to go. -[Yo-Yo] We gotta get out of here.
I ain’t going nowhere till I find what I came for.
Hey, nigga. You ain't the only one in here.
There's other motherfuckers out there who need our help. We gotta tell somebody.
We gotta blow the lid off this shit.
[Charles] Look at me, Fontaine.
This ain’t Cool Hand Johnny from the Boulevard type shit.
This is major league. It's Uncle-motherfucking-Sam.
Get the fuck out of here. We got to.
We gotta help these people. Tell somebody. We gotta tell them now.
Nah. Not yet.
Fontaine, Fontaine.
-[Charles] 'Taine! -Fuck!
[Yo-Yo whispering] Fontaine. You're gonna get our asses killed.
Fontaine. Come on.
[tense music playing]
[announcer] Bringing America together.
[Charles] Here we go.
Another door that's lead us to nothing but sin and iniquity.
Why don't we find the door that leads us out of this motherfucker?
[Fontaine] Ain't nobody stopping you.
[announcer] Winning the race of the future.
[computer beeping]
[locks disengaging]
[door hissing]
[ominous music playing]
[ominous music swelling]
Sin and goddamn iniquity.
[computer trilling]
[computer] Decanting B-0-1-4.
[computer beeping]
-[computer] Decanting B-0-1-4. -[air hissing]
It's the same motherfucker.
[computer beeping]
[air hissing]
[computer] Decanting A-0-3-6.
[computer beeping]
[Charles] This gotta be the whole damn Glen down here.
[computer beeping]
[air hissing]
[computer] Decanting A-0-1-7.
[computer beeping]
[computer] Decanting B-0-2-2.
[Yo-Yo] Not the whole Glen,
just specific people, over and over.
[computer beeping]
[Yo-Yo] But why them?
[computer beeping]
[computer] Decanting B-0-2-8.
[air hissing]
'Taine?
Slick.
[ominous music swelling]
[computer beeping]
[air hissing]
[computer] Decanting A-0-0-1
[choir vocalizing ominously]
[air hissing]
[computer] Decanting A-0-0-1.
[air hissing]
[computer] Decanting A-0-0-1.
Decanting A-0--
Decanting A-0-0-1.
[Fontaine breathing heavily]
[gun firing]
[bullet casing clinking on ground]
[Yo-Yo] Hey!
[Fontaine screaming]
[Fontaine seething]
[Yo-Yo] 'Taine! 'Taine!
[breathing heavily] 'Taine, 'Taine, 'Taine!
Okay. Now stop, stop.
-[both breathing heavily] -[alarm blaring]
We gotta go. We gotta go.
[Yo-Yo muttering]
[Fontaine] You ain't me. I'll kill you. I'll kill all y'all!
[elevator whirring]
[choir continues vocalizing ominously]
[funky music playing]
-[girls giggling] -[house music playing]
[woman] Holla, girl.
[woman 2] What the fuck?
Of course.
Take this shit off.
[club music playing]
♪ Where the dollars at, nigga? Where the dollars at? ♪
[man] 2241, come in. We got three bogies coming in hot.
Intercept and subdue.
Yes, sir.
All right. Hold on, hold on. We gonna slow it down right now, y'all.
I got that new Ruckus, straight out the motherfucking lab.
Excuse me. Excuse me, bruh.
That's it. Let the music take control, baby. That's it.
Round and round.
♪ Round and round, round and round ♪
♪ Round and round ♪
♪ Round and round, round and round ♪
[DJ] This is a world premiere.
♪ Round and round ♪
Hey, hey. Don't listen to this shit. It's one of their songs.
Excuse me, excuse me.
[DJ] Whoo! Yeah, that's it, now. Come on.
[music distorting]
[Yo-Yo] Y'all good? Hey, where's Slick at?
♪ I hear voices everywhere ♪
Slick! Slick, Slick, Slick.
You're hypnotized, man. Come on. We gotta get out of the fucking club.
Uh-huh.
[Yo-Yo] Shit!
[DJ] Feeling good. Feeling real good, ain't we?
Whoo! Y'all lost in the sauce now, huh?
[laughing] I think y'all ready for the climax.
I see y'all are fucking with that mind-control music.
So I got one more thing I need y'all to do.
[Yo-Yo] Slick, come on!
-[Fontaine] Oh, you know what time it is. -[Yo-Yo] Let's drive the car!
[funky music playing]
[Charles] Come on, come on, come on.
A whole goddamn Thriller video in this motherfucker. Let's go!
-Go! Shit! -[Charles] Come on, come on. Shit!
-Shit! Go! Go! -[Charles] Go, go, go, go, go!
-[Yo-Yo screaming] -[Charles] Oh shit!
-Okay. Come on! Come on! -[Yo-Yo] Go, go, go!
Whoo! We got this bitch!
[car engine backfiring]
[Charles] Fontaine, what you doing?
[all clamoring]
[music swelling]
Fontaine!
[Yo-Yo] This nigga got the raggediest fucking car!
-What the fuck? -[Charles] What the fuck?
[music fades]
-Shit! -[Fontaine] You got five seconds!
[crowd stops]
[all breathing heavily]
[crickets chirping]
[hip-hop music playing in distance]
[Yo-Yo exhaling]
Shit.
[Fontaine] Something made them stop.
Get out the goddamn car.
[car approaching]
[car door closing]
[hip-hop music playing loudly over stereo]
[car door beeping]
[ominous funky music playing]
[car door opening]
[music fades]
[man] A pimp, a ho, and a drug dealer walk into a bar.
[man chuckling]
So you the nigga in charge?
No. Everybody's got a boss.
Mine's a real hard ass. You two would really hit it off.
You see, I'm just the guy that guy calls
when there's a mess that needs to be cleaned up.
You should think of me more like mall security,
except for a really, really big mall.
Mall security? Y'all torturing people down there.
We're not torturing anybody.
We're researching, experimenting, doing science.
And for the greater good, I might add.
Oh, so you Kevin Bacon?
Hollow Man, motherfucker.
Telling lies in America.
America was an experiment.
A half-baked idea cooked up
by aristocratic idealogues living in mansions built by slaves.
And when they checked out, they left us with the bill.
A country constantly at war with itself.
No common ground, no dialogue, no peace.
If we're all on the same page,
then we're not ripping each other's heads off,
and all of this has a chance to work.
And that's what we strive for.
Keeping the United States united.
By cloning pimps and drug dealers?
[man] Everybody's got a part to play.
In order for us to continue our work down here,
this place has to have a certain flavor,
quality of life, je ne sais quoi.
What the fuck is you talking about, man? We in a trap.
And you use us to keep it that way.
If we were to pull y'all off the street,
there'd be three Starbucks here by Tuesday,
and there goes our control setting.
So, yeah. We use you to keep the place, well, undisturbed.
Lets us experiment on the good people here in peace.
So the only reason I exist is to keep the place fucked up?
Oh, Fontaine.
Don't go glass half-empty on me, now.
You're a goddamn patriot.
As far as I'm concerned, you're Captain America.
So, what now?
Is that a trick question?
No, ma'am. We've got a choice to make.
And the way I see it, you've only got two options.
Option one, Chester here kills you.
Option two, you do nothing.
You go back to your regular lives.
Do what you do best. Look the other way.
I gotta say option two sounds pretty fantastic.
What do you think, Chester?
Chester agrees.
A real Sophie's Choice moment.
Yeah, I've seen that one.
So,
what's it gonna be?
-Option three, mother-- -Olympia Black.
[ominous music playing]
[man chuckling]
-[man] Olympia Black. -'Taine?
[man] I say those words and you do what I tell you.
I know it's unpleasant having no control.
-[Yo-Yo] Slick? Slick, Slick, Slick. -[man] Feeling powerless.
We all take autonomy for granted.
But I really need you to understand your position here.
We own you.
That gold chain around your neck,
that sweet, fine grill, that .45 in your hand.
He ain't the only one with a gun, motherfucker.
[tense music swelling]
Unfreeze him, or I put a bullet through your fucking teeth.
Fontaine.
[Yo-Yo yelling] Fuck! [yelping]
Fontaine, point that gun at Yo-Yo.
-[Yo-Yo] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. -[Fontaine straining]
[train horn blaring]
'Taine, no. No.
[suspenseful music playing]
You know what my friend Chester, Fontaine, and Slick Charles all have in common?
They're expensive.
You? A dime a dozen. Just a regular ol' ho.
Don't let him do this shit to you.
Doesn't seem like it's getting through. Fontaine, put that gun in your mouth!
[Yo-Yo] No, no, no, no. Fucking stop this shit!
Fontaine, pull the hammer back!
[Yo-Yo yelling]
[Yo-Yo] Shit. Don't you hurt him!
Fontaine, say your prayers!
Is it starting to sink in yet?
Are you getting it?
You got no cards to play!
The only reason you are not dead
is because I'm not the one calling the shots.
[Yo-Yo whimpering, groaning]
[Yo-Yo] Fontaine!
Relax.
[Fontaine and Charles grunting]
[train horn blaring]
-Good talk. -[Fontaine] What the fuck?
In the end, I knew you'd make the right decision.
Chester, let's get out of here. Grab a cheeseburger. I'm starving.
[Fontaine panting]
[Yo-Yo] Oh fuck.
[Fontaine] Come on. Come on.
-[car engine starting] -[hip-hop music playing]
You good?
Fontaine?
[all breathing heavily]
Sorry--
[crowd chatting indistinctly]
[Fontaine groaning]
-[hip-hop music playing over stereo] -[car horn honking]
[Fontaine groaning]
[sighing heavily]
[refrigerator door opening]
[knocking on door]
[cutlery clinking]
[dog barking in distance]
[knocking on door]
[Fontaine sighing]
-You can't-- -[Yo-Yo shushing]
-[stereo clicking] -[music playing]
[Fontaine] What you doing?
[Yo-Yo] So I went by the church this morning. Key card ain't work.
They must have flagged it.
Don't know about them other places, I'm guessing there's--
[Fontaine] Yo-Yo.
-We have to find another way in. -[Fontaine] Yo-Yo!
What? What's up? What's up?
I'm done.
Done? What?
[Yo-Yo] No. Yo, they can hear--
I said…
I'm done. All right?
What the fuck is you talking about, "done"?
We need to leave that shit alone.
Yo, this shit is bigger than you. It's bigger than me.
-It's your fucking home. -Who gives a fuck?
This ain't no fucking community.
This place a bunch of broke-ass niggas with nowhere else to go.
Okay. Now, that's… that's a lot.
-There are some good people. -Who?
The jays?
What, the gangbangers? Niggas that pay you to suck they dick?
Ain't no good here.
[Yo-Yo] Hmm.
It's 'cause of me.
I'm a dope boy, 'member?
It's who I am.
So I'mma go right back to doing me.
-That's your fucking excuse? -Excuse?
I was made in a tube.
I ain't even real.
I ain't have no say in this shit.
What about you? What's your excuse, huh?
I seen the trophies in your room. What you trying to do? Be a doctor?
-A detective? A fucking scientist? -Okay.
Or was this your plan the whole entire time?
What the fuck you want me to say?
Yeah. I wanted to be in New York chasing down leads for the fucking Times
or fucking in the Caribbean, scuba diving, looking for lost treasure and shit,
but I'm here.
Yep. Right up the street from the house I grew up in.
Right up the street from all the same shit I have always wanted to get away from.
Stuck in the same fucking trap as you.
Nigga, I'm scared too. I am.
But we gotta do something.
I ain't scared.
I'm cool with it.
Maybe the next Fontaine won't be such a fucking pussy.
Yeah. Maybe he won't.
You know where the door is.
[somber funky music playing]
♪ Felonies ♪
♪ Might have committed felonies ♪
-[man] Lightweight! -♪ Who's to know, 'cause my memories ♪
♪ Ain't too sharp like my enemies ♪
♪ They've told me ♪
♪ Sleepy eyes ♪
♪ I heard that we got intertwined ♪
-♪ Mainly see I have no ID ♪ -[indistinct chatter]
♪ Maybe I did, but then again ♪
♪ Can't 'member shit past 11:30 ♪
♪ What I don't know won't hurt me ♪
A pack of Rillos and a scratch-off.
♪ If I did something real bad, I'm sorry ♪
♪ Life of the fucking party ♪
Have a good one.
♪ Drunk as fuck ♪
[man yelling indistinctly]
♪ Drunk as fuck ♪
-[Frog] You lose, always. [chuckling] -♪ Drunk as fuck ♪
♪ It was chemistry ♪
♪ That's to blame, yeah, the chemistry ♪
♪ Keep your name out my melodies ♪
How you doing, Frog?
♪ I don't do that, usually ♪
♪ Usually deadly ♪
♪ They off cocaine and ketamine ♪
♪ I might drink, smoke a little weed ♪
[commercial playing]
[man] You ain't had the Hotbox Spicy Chicken?
[woman] You ain't had the Hotbox Spicy Chicken?
[heavenly music playing]
[man] Got damn!
[narrator] Go ahead and get you some limited-time only Hotbox Spicy Chicken.
'Cause remember, who needs vices
when you got all these herbs and spices at discount prices?
So, if you’re in town, come on down
and get some of this country-fried golden brown at Got Damn--.
[woman] Everything okay in there, baby?
[narrator 2] Well, get rid of the dirty looks with 2Clean Perm Cream.
It will make all your dreams come true.
[woman] I just got a new job and a new man.
[tense music playing]
[indistinct chatter on TV]
[knocking]
[music fades]
Mama,
can you come out here for a second?
[woman] Not right now. I'm watching my stories.
[indistinct chatter on TV ]
Can you just open the door?
Mama.
Please open the door.
-I just… -[woman] I'm good. Thanks, baby.
[voice breaking] I just need to see you.
Can you open the door, please?
Open the door.
Open the goddamn--
[indistinct chatter on TV]
[exhaling sharply]
I really need you right now, Mama.
[woman] I'm all right, baby.
Josephine had a fish fry at the community center.
I'm still full.
[tape clicking]
[Fontaine screaming]
[Fontaine] Fuck, man!
[radio feedbacking]
[Fontaine breathing heavily]
[screaming]
[whimpering]
[sobbing]
[Fontaine grunting]
[breathing heavily]
[bike skidding]
[Junebug] Nigga, is you crying?
[bike clattering]
-[Fontaine sniffling] -[Junebug] Ooh, you is crying.
Man, what… what you crying for?
Get on somewhere, Junebug.
[Junebug sighing]
You still owe me 15 dollars.
You know, one time, SpongeBob and Patrick got so sad,
they started crying all over each other,
and they fell to the floor, water sprayed out of their eyes like…
[Junebug chuckling]
It was funny.
They're all like "Wah! Wah!"
[hip-hop music playing over stereo]
[Fontaine chuckling]
You better stop.
Man, give me that.
[slurping]
[Junebug humming]
[car engine revving]
-[dramatic music playing] -[Junebug chuckling]
You remind me of someone, you know that?
Who?
You remind me of someone.
Who?
[Junebug laughing, yelling playfully]
[Fontaine chuckling]
Got you.
[boy] Nice.
[funky music playing]
[brakes squealing]
[engine turning off]
[funky music playing over stereo]
[indistinct chatter on TV]
[knocking on door]
It's open.
Want something to drink? I ain't got no orange juice left.
[Fontaine] When was the last time you had a shower?
[Charles] Plead the fifth.
[funky music playing]
[Yo-Yo sighing]
-[Biddy] Hey, Yo-Yo! Is that you, girl? -Shit.
-[Biddy] Oh shit! That is you! -Biddy!
[Biddy] Where you been all week? Why are you wearing that trench coat?
Over there looking like Carmen San Die-ho?
[Biddy ululating]
All right, girl. Do your thing. Do your thing.
Baby, hold on.
Baby, here I come.
[Charles] If you looking for the bitches, ain't here.
[soft music playing on radio]
They had a, um, some kind of Pilates class or something they doing, you know.
[exhales sharply] I let 'em… let 'em off for a few days.
[Fontaine sighing]
Anyway…
Pimping ain't like it used to be, nohow.
[Charles slurping, sighing]
[Charles scoffing]
But you should've seen the furs.
[whispering] Should've seen the furs.
I was a whole motherfucking polar bear.
Down to the claws, nigga.
And underneath, merlot leather.
Them hos was dying of thirst.
[Charles smacking lips]
I never won the Players Ball, did I?
-[Charles inhales] -[lighter clicking]
But I can remember it like it was yesterday.
[lighter clicking]
I ain't never had no little brother.
I still love him, though.
Yeah.
She contact you?
Cussed me out.
[Charles chuckling]
-She was right though. -She annoying as hell.
[Fontaine] Yeah.
I'll tell you what.
If we gonna buy into the insanity…
[funky music playing]
[glass thuds on table]
…let a pimp freshen up.
[funky music playing]
[Charles] Biddy!
-Biddy, let me holler at you a second. -[indistinct chatter]
-Biddy. Come here! -Oh, fuck you, Slick Charles.
-[Charles] Fuck you! -Uh, nigga.
No. I didn't mean that. Reflex.
-Let me talk to you for a second. -Hell, no.
Your ass went AWOL on me for about a week.
[Charles] What the fuck you talking about, AWOL? You bring your ass here.
Baby, listen. I was dealing with some existential circumstances now.
-What the fuck is that? -You know you my Lady Godiva.
Don't make me shoot you out here.
If you make me sweat in this coat, I swear I'll--
[Biddy] Nigga, what you want?
Listen. Look. We're just trying to find out where Yo-Yo is. That's all.
-[Biddy] Nigga. -Biddy, Biddy, Biddy. Listen, listen.
We work in a spirit of cooperation. Okay?
Uh, we're on a quest.
You give us the information we need, and we'll electric slide.
Come on, Biddy. Please.
I mean, the bitch been scarce.
I figured she was waiting out the clap or some shit.
But maybe I seen't her. Maybe I ain't.
You know where my money at.
[indistinct chatter in background]
She was here a few hours ago. Brown trench coat and some shades.
Oh, she was looking like some freaky roleplay shit,
and it was working for her too.
Then she dipped off with one of them johns.
Maybe a rapper or a ballplayer, I surmise.
Wait. Why you say that?
[tense music playing]
[man] "They come and go through strategically placed egress points
hidden in various neighborhood loci."
Yo-Yo, this is really good.
I mean, "loci"? Way to use your Latin. [chuckling]
You got diagrams, reference articles…
[pages flipping]
[man] Shit. There's even a map.
Pulitzer Prize-winning stuff.
And I completely understand why you wanted to go to the Post.
But you have got to tell me,
do you really think that you figured it all out?
You don't even know about the grand finale.
Except you won't be around to see it.
Fuck you.
[man] Been tinkering with one of our existing products.
Just a little more potent now, but a little touch-and-go still.
So, you might experience some side effects.
So try not to lose your mind, okay?
[Charles] Fontaine, hold on. Fontaine, you can't do this.
Fontaine! Come on, man. Mm-mm, mm-mm.
-They got Yo-Yo, man. They got Yo-Yo. -I know. I know. I know.
I know.
But what you gonna do, huh?
You gonna fee-fi-fo-fum it, and… and… and blow the whole goddamn house down?
What we gonna do, man?
What we gonna do?
-We gonna do what Yo-Yo would do. -Nigga--
Come on. Come on.
We gonna put our motherfucking heads together. That's what we gonna do.
-What you got in mind? -That's what we gonna do.
We can't just go down there and ring the doorbell
'cause they got an army down there.
Got an army, huh?
What you thinking, nigga?
You ain't gonna like it.
-[hip-hop music playing] -[dog barking]
[Isaac scoffing]
So you're trying to tell me
there's a bunch of Bill Nye the Science Guy looking motherfuckers
underneath me right now?
Experimenting on Black folk,
cloning niggas that look like you so they can control our mind?
Pretty much.
And you need my help to stop 'em?
[Isaac scoffing]
Well, obviously the answer is no.
[Fontaine] But it's our home, man.
Mamas, grandmamas, kids,
they gotta live here too.
And we make things bad for 'em.
But right now, we're all they got.
What kind of stupid-ass shit--?
[Isaac chuckling]
What the fuck is this nigga talking about, man?
[men laughing]
You fucked up coming here, my nigga.
[gun firing]
[man] Damn, nigga.
[indistinct chatter]
[Isaac] Fuck this nigga up.
[funky ominous music playing]
-[man] So, no salt, no pepper, nothing? -[man 2] Nope.
Just the natural flavors of the chicken. Boiling it really brings it out.
Huh.
I just got a Crock-Pot. I'll try that when I get home.
Right on, brother.
Anyhoo, here we are.
[funky music playing]
[computer beeping]
[computer] Decanting A-0-0-1.
[Fontaine gasping]
[man] Don't worry, big guy. You'll feel like your old self in no time.
-[computer whirring] -[voices overlapping]
[woman] Jo… Jo… Josephine had a fish fry…
Still… I'm-- I'm still… I'm--
[Fontaine panicking, breathing heavily]
[indistinct chatter]
[funky music playing]
[knocking]
Mama, you hungry?
[Frog muttering indistinctly]
[grunting, sniffing] Got that new-car smell, youngblood.
[Fontaine] There you go.
[Biddy] Fontaine.
-The fuck do you want? -What do you mean what I want?
-What you want? -Nothing.
Well, now, hold on, hot chocolate. We just negotiating.
-Get out of here. -This is the art of the deal.
You can have it your way, baby--
-Doze off! Doze off! -[Fontaine grunting]
Doze off! Doze off!
There you go.
[tape ripping]
[Biddy] Shit!
He's gonna wake up, he gonna kill us.
Ooh, ooh. He's waking up.
[Fontaine grunting, struggling]
I… I… I'm so sorry, Fontaine.
Personally, I would never,
but, you know, a girl needs a little coin in her purse.
-And with the recent cold-- -Listen, player. Just sit tight, okay?
This is time for reflection and silent self-discovery.
[Fontaine grunting, yelling]
-[Charles] Get the blinds. -[Biddy] Oh.
[funky music playing]
[grunting]
[Fontaine groaning, breathing heavily]
[Fontaine grunting, panting]
What you thinking, nigga?
You ain't gonna like it.
You ever play dead?
These bitch-ass niggas think they got it all figured out,
but they forgot I'm a stone-cold pimp goddammit.
I pull tricks for a living.
We gonna beat 'em at they own game.
But first things first,
we need somebody to shoot your Black ass.
Tell Isaac we need to talk, aight? Make it happen.
And fuck you!
-[Isaac] Hold the fuck up. -[man] Shit, man.
Fontaine come up on you, hit you in your shit,
give you $1,000 saying he wanna talk to me?
Man, that's what the nigga said, bruh.
[Fontaine] They got eyes everywhere, though.
And you know they gonna be watching us.
[Charles] Let them. [chuckling]
Ain't no easier mark than a sucka who sees exactly what he expects to see.
Ten racks.
-And all I got to do is shoot him again? -That's what he said.
Thirty racks.
Biddy said he said he wants thirty racks.
Thirty? The nigga shot me for free the last time.
He said fine.
He said "fuck you" but fine.
He told me to tell you one more thing.
You better not miss.
[Charles] Now we got ourselves an Academy-Award-winning cast.
Bunch of Bill Nye the Science Guy-lookin' motherfuckers underneath me right now?
You could do better, bro.
So you're trying to tell me
there's a bunch of Bill Nye the Science Guy-lookin' motherfuckers
underneath me right now?
-That's it. That's it, Denzel. -That's it?
Training Day or Book of Eli?
-Book of Eli. -Fuck. Run it again.
[Charles] So it's time to put on a show.
…Bill Nye the Science Guy-lookin' motherfuckers underneath me right now?
[Fontaine] A show? Nigga, you want me to get shot.
-[Charles] It's only in the shoulder. -[Fontaine] Man, get the fuck…
[Charles] Don't forget now. They gots to think you dead.
[Fontaine] All right. I got it, I got it. I'll be dead, okay? I'm dead.
[Charles] After that, hitch a ride underground,
get comfortable, and wait till the coast is clear.
Then use that stunning personality of yours to find a volunteer…
I'mma need some directions.
[Charles] …and get your new best friend to escort you to the control room.
[Fontaine] All right. Piece of cake, right.
So while I'm doing all this,
what the fuck you gonna be doing?
[Charles] Me? [scoffing]
I'm bringing the motherfucking cavalry.
♪ I'll be good ♪
[car engines revving loudly]
♪ I'm good, don't you wanna be good? ♪
♪ You know I tell you I'll be good ♪
♪ So good ♪
♪ Don't you wanna be good to me, baby? ♪
♪ You know I love you ♪
[Charles] Shawty, I got the whole hood with me.
The whole hood with me.
That's how we coming. Shit!
This a revolution.
[music fades]
[man humming]
[knocking]
[Charles] Excuse me, kind sir.
But if you could point me to the elevator that leads down to the freaky laboratory,
I'll be out your atmosphere.
[man's breath shuddering]
Ah shit. I got you, big dawg.
[clerk yelps]
Right over there.
[door hissing]
[breath shuddering] Okay. We're here.
-[gun cocking] -Open this shit up.
Open up all the surface doors.
And hurry the fuck up! [groaning]
-Fuck. -[bell buzzing]
[elevator bell dinging]
[elevator door creaking]
Well,
let's get it, man.
[guns cocking]
[Yo-Yo] No! No! You evil mother--
Fuck! Fuck!
-[unsettling music playing] -No! No! No!
No!
Mother-- Fuck you. You're going to he--
[Yo-Yo calmly] Hell.
Fuck.
-[man grunting] -[funky music playing]
-[woman] …towards an egress point! -[man 2] Fuck 'em up!
[scientists clamoring]
Goddamn right!
Get 'em all!
Shit. Ain't playing with these motherfuckers.
Slick Charles.
The girl you're looking for, she's in Room 29.
The testing suites.
[Fontaine groaning]
-Got that? -[Charles] I'm on it.
[Yo-Yo groaning]
[Yo-Yo] Fry in hell. No.
[man scoffing] Gotta tell the boys in R&D to dial it back.
Come on, let's get her to processing.
[man 2] Speaking of passing out, how's Cheryl doing?
[man] Oh, she's doing good.
-[alarm blaring] -Ugh. Again with the alarms.
-Every day. -Every day.
[men grunting, groaning]
[Yo-Yo breathing heavily]
Goofy motherfuckers.
[people clamoring, shouting]
[glass breaking]
[man sighing]
-Yo-Yo! -[woman shuddering]
Yo-Yo! There your ass is. Yeah!
-[Yo-Yo] Slick? What are you doing here? -Damn! We're here to save your ass.
Is this y'all?
Yeah. Me, Fontaine, and half of the goddamn Glen is here.
Thank you, Slick.
Look, uh,
you know, I never shared my feelings with you.
-You know, pimps stay buttoned up-- -[Yo-Yo] Okay. Save that for later.
Where these niggas at?
Where you want 'em to be?
[man] Head for the stairs!
[Yo-Yo] Hey! What the fuck y'all doing?
[funky music playing]
[men shouting indistinctly]
[man] Where the fuck you think you're going?
[Isaac scoffing]
I always knew they was trapping down here.
[indistinct shouting, screaming]
Y'all gonna learn today. [grunting]
[shouting indistinctly]
Guess where I'm at. Yeah, underground.
Underground, nigga. [chuckling]
Hey, man. Come through, man.
Yeah. Bring that pack.
Hey. Tell, uh, Stacy to come through too, man.
Tell her bring little shawtys. I'mma be chilling.
Let's take care of shit right now, Yo-Yo.
Let's free some motherfucking clones.
Goddamn right.
[man grunting]
[man 2 grunting]
[man screaming]
[Fontaine breathing heavily]
[announcer] Remember to walk, not run, when exiting the facility.
[dramatic funky music playing]
[men shouting]
[intense music playing]
[announcer] Please remain calm
and find your way to the nearest egress point.
[Fontaine grunting]
[Chester grunting]
[Fontaine groaning, gasping]
[announcer] Please remain calm…
and find your way to the nearest egress point.
-[both grunting] -[gun fires]
[Fontaine grunting]
-[gun firing] -[man shouting indistinctly]
[man] Right there!
[Fontaine groaning, breathing heavily]
[ominous music playing]
[Fontaine grunting, groaning]
[alarm blaring]
[announcer] Please remain calm
and find your way to the nearest egress point.
You was the 1995 International Players Ball Pimp of the Year.
-[computer beeping] -[air hissing]
Come on. Hey, hey. Get your ass up out of here.
There you go. Put a little pep in your step.
-[gun firing] -Oh shit!
[tense music playing]
-[whispering] Fuck. -[man] You know what?
This is my fault.
I should've killed you the first time.
[gun firing]
[man] Hell, I should've killed you the second time.
[Fontaine groaning]
[man] Yeah, no. The east wing is compromised,
but our department has taken minimal losses, sir.
Yes, sir.
Of course.
[receiver clicks]
After all these years…
still so strange.
Good to see you, Fontaine.
-Flank around. -[man] My wife says I'm getting soft.
[mouthing] Come to you?
[man] Hell… [chuckling]
[whispering] No, nigga. Go the fuck around.
[man] A few too many mea culpas these days.
Me, I try to find the brighter side of things.
Learning from our mistakes, well, that's how we grow.
[screaming] Shit.
[man] Maybe when this is over, I'll have the boys come down
and scrape up some of your cells, grow me a secretary.
[Yo-Yo] Well, you know what?
I might have a few complaints to file with HR
about the working conditions in this bitch.
[man] Speaking of Human Resources, where are your friends?
Fucking up your shit as we speak.
Well, one problem at a time.
[ominous music playing]
You're
me.
No.
You're me.
One of the many I've had to create over the years.
So, what, you… you working for them?
Let's just call it a marriage of convenience.
I'm the lead geneticist of this operation.
But… but why?
Ronnie.
Ronnie,
is he--
No, no.
He died
just the way you remember.
It's the one thing I wanted you all to have.
But yes, he is the reason I made a deal with the devil.
[gun firing]
[man] A lot of paperwork, Yo-Yo. You know I hate paperwork.
-[Yo-Yo] Fuck paperwork! -[whispering] Patience.
-[Yo-Yo] I hope you get buried in it! -Pimp hand raised.
-[man chuckling] Well, that's funny. -Ready.
[gun clicking]
What the fuck?
[gun firing]
Shit.
[man] You know, we got operations everywhere.
-Los Angeles, Chicago. -Fuck.
-[Charles grunting] -[gun firing]
[man] But I picked the Glen because it was supposed to be quiet.
Well, here you are causing a racket.
You see, Fontaine, the… the powers that be,
the invisible people above me who pull the strings,
weren't getting the results they wanted.
Years of experimentation.
Billions of dollars spent, yet no true peace in America.
Hair products,
songs on the radio, fried chicken.
Clones maintaining the charade.
Short-sighted, waste of resources.
All because they couldn't see what's so obvious to you and me.
It's not enough to think the same,
we have to be the same.
Nah. You tripping, man.
My work in the Cloning Initiative helped me track down 378 unique genes
that separate you and your ghettos
from your counterparts in the suburbs, the barrios…
Chinatown.
Once I sequenced them all,
I approached my superiors with an addendum,
and I'm sure you're aware of our first test subjects.
In the lab,
the tech,
the manager.
Not complete successes, but they pass.
It's the hair.
It's stubborn.
But we have since perfected the process.
I think niggas might notice
if they wake up one morning with blond hair and blue eyes.
This won't happen overnight, Fontaine.
It'll happen over generations.
And now we are at the precipice of our true national rollout.
[ominous music playing]
[eerie vocalizing]
Assimilation is better than annihilation.
[Yo-Yo] Shit.
[man] Come on, Yo-Yo. How about we wrap this up?
[man grunting]
Shit.
[man] Krav Maga, Tuesdays and Thursdays. How're you feeling, Slick Charles?
-[Charles groans] -Hey, motherfucker!
[Fontaine breathing heavily]
You think Ronnie would want this?
[Old Fontaine scoffing]
Don't presume because I gave you a few memories you know my brother.
You weren't really there that day
when he died.
[man] Come on out, now. Don't be shy.
[gun cocking]
[man] Come on, now.
You see, Fontaine, he was shot.
Violently.
Right here.
[Fontaine groaning]
[Old Fontaine] Between interior ribs five and six.
Missed the heart.
Pierced the lungs.
That didn't have to be fatal.
They left him there
alone, scared,
laid out on the cold concrete.
Took him 15 minutes to die.
[man] Why don't you toss that peashooter over to me?
Now!
[gun clatters]
Cute.
You know, when I arrived at the morgue…
I just stood over him
for a long time.
I… I knew it was him. I just--
They couldn't be bothered to clean all the blood.
And by that time, it had dried up…
crusted black.
So I…
found a rag…
and I cleaned it myself.
I washed his skin.
I spared you from that memory.
I'mma go back to my fucking track. You don't gotta worry about me.
We'll get out of your hair.
I never could understand what you saw in him.
I mean, I don't want to kick a man when he's down,
but he's an idiot.
Well, I guess you could say he's got a flair for the dramatic.
He's Slick.
I… I know you think you did something important here today,
but what happened to Ronnie can never happen again.
So my work will continue all the same.
It must.
We all have a part to play.
I have mine. You had yours.
Wish we could do this forever, but it's been a really long day.
-You take care-- -And he got style.
[stuttering] Nigga got style.
Slick, I know I talk a lot of motherfucking shit,
but that's just a manifestation of my frustration.
I mean, look at this motherfucker.
I can't let you do this.
[Old Fontaine] Oh, I wish I didn't have to.
[ominous music swelling]
Chester.
Olympia Black.
[Yo-Yo] He look good, don't he?
From the alligators to the furs,
the leather to the gold chains.
And the motherfucking rings.
Olympia Black.
[Fontaine straining] Olympia Black.
I am not a clone.
No.
He is.
-Shoot him. -[Old Fontaine] Wait--
[Old Fontaine coughing]
Ooh, you was taking your precious-ass time. Damn.
That Goodwill suit ain't so bad now, is it?
I was acting, motherfucker.
[funky music playing]
[Fontaine groaning]
[news theme music playing]
Donna Kelley here reporting live from an absolutely outrageous scene.
I'm here at the Check Cashing Place
where dozens of confused, mostly naked people have emerged.
911 operators have been inundated with hundreds--
[reporter 2] What's amazing is how quickly residents of the Glen have rallied help.
We've got folks out here giving out water, food, clothes off their own backs.
In fact,
I have some fellows who claim to have been the center of all the action.
Sir, could you tell us what the heck is going on?
-[man] A whole lot of gang shit. -Shit.
You know, boys had to click up, storm the castle.
-Do you hear me? Do you hear me? -[men grunting]
To be honest, I really didn't even used to f*** with him like that.
-But now… -He with it now, though.
…when we see double, we know it's trouble.
You dig?
We some big-steppers with weapons. You know what I'm saying?
Lil baby mama, I love you, girl.
Yeah, that's right. We had to Deep Throat that s***.
Watergate. Calm down, I got the receipts right here.
They cloning motherfuckers as we speak
in secret laboratories in Chicago, Illinois,
uh, uh, Detroit, Michigan, Los Angeles, Califor--
All day, every day, we're on the scene, trying to figure out what has happened.
I mean, this shit is fucked up!
They're out here cloning niggas. What the fuck going on in this bitch?
That's right. That is the prevailing theory.
A large contingent allegedly disrupted services this morning
at the Greatest Mt. Zion Church of the Holy Ghost right here behind me.
As you can see…
-There he go. 'Taine! -'Taine!
-My nigga! -What up, baby?
-Motherfucker. -Oh.
Oh shit.
[both grunting]
[Yo-Yo] Ooh, sorry, sorry.
-This the real Fontaine? -Yeah, man.
They're gonna have a hard time trying to cover this shit up.
[Yo-Yo] Mm.
Oh, oh. And now's a good a time as any to tell y'all. I am retired.
Yo-Yo, I think I'm gonna hang these gator boots up myself.
I can't go back to the Royal because there's another Fontaine
tied up, ready to whoop my motherfucking ass.
You know what I was thinking, Fontaine?
I might follow Yo-Yo's lead and head on down to Memphis, you know?
Maybe they could use a couple of folk with our specialty skill set.
'Cause you know they ain't stop with the Glen.
[chuckling] All the more reason.
[Yo-Yo] Mm-hmm.
How about you?
I don't know.
Just a few days old.
I'll probably see the world.
Memphis don't sound bad.
If y'all…
-[Yo-Yo] Aww. Y'all wanna come with me! -[Charles] Come on, Fontaine.
Y'all cool with it?
[funky music playing]
-[man panicking] -[helicopter whirring]
[DJ] Hello, Los Angeles. It is your partner Big Boy.
-[DJ 2] Big Boy! -[Big Boy] Big Boy's neighborhood. Listen.
I know that you feel a little shady right now, right?
So go ahead, man, and shyste someone that you love.
Shyste a neighbor. Shyste somebody that you work with.
We gonna hit you guys off right now with that brand new Ruckus, "Shysty,"
right here in the neighborhood.
[knocking on door]
Mama, you want something from the store?
[hip-hop song playing]
[woman] No. I'm good.
I'm probably gonna hit the Voodoo market later.
♪ Hands up, play it down Where the mind at? ♪
♪ Rob a nigga for the ransom money ♪
♪ She is scared, my baby She got scared of my money ♪
♪ She a stripper, baby She got dancing money ♪
[trainers shouting]
[song continues]
[man grunting, straining]
♪ Shysty, shysty, shysty, shy Do what I say ♪
♪ You are enslaved to do what I say ♪
♪ Shysty, shysty, shysty, shy Do what I say ♪
♪ You are enslaved to do what I say ♪
♪ Shysty ♪
[helicopter blades whirring]
♪ Shysty ♪
[indistinct shouting]
♪ Well, get up ♪
Hey, man, let me get some of that.
Thank you.
[song continues indistinctly]
[reporter on TV] We are hearing it's an absolute madhouse out there.
Okay, feed's up. We're gonna go live to the scene
with our eyes and ears on the block, Billy Flowers. Billy.
That's right. I'm outside of J-Bo's Pawn Shop here in the city…
[man coughing]
[reporter] …on the corner of Jonesboro and Claire
with what can only be described as clones.
Hold on. Ma'am, please, a word.
[woman] Uh…
[reporter] You, sir.
Where did you come from?
[scoffing]
[reporter] We're gonna keep moving. Let's go this way. Um, sir!
Sir.
[clone grunting]
Sir.
What's your name?
I have never seen anything like this before.
Hold up.
[reporter] Once again, clones, here outside of J-Bo's Pawn Shop.
Ain't that you, Tyrone?
["Who Cloned Tyrone" by Erykah Badu playing]
[Erykah] Sisters, how y'all feel? ♪
[women cheering]
Brothers, y'all all right?
[men cheering]
All right.
♪ I'm getting tired of your shit ♪
♪ You don't never buy me nothing ♪
[crowd cheering]
♪ And every time you come around ♪
♪ You got to clone Jim James, Paul, and Tyrone ♪
[crowd cheering]
♪ See, why can't we Just be ourselves sometime? ♪
♪ See, you've been tampering With my mind for a long time ♪
♪ I just want it to be cool and free ♪
♪ Like it used to be, baby ♪
♪ But you don't know how to act ♪
♪ So matter of fact Them motherfuckers cloned Tyrone ♪
♪ Cloned him ♪
♪ So tell him come on ♪
♪ Help him get your shit ♪
♪ Somebody cloned Tyrone ♪
♪ Cloned him ♪
♪ Tell him I said come on ♪
♪ Now every time we try To make a little cash ♪
♪ They say no, to turn right around And flash it for some ass ♪
♪ Oh, whoa ♪
♪ Say hold up, listen, partner ♪
♪ I ain't no cheap thrill ♪
[crowd cheering]
♪ 'Cause miss Badu's Always coming for real ♪
♪ You know the deal, nigga ♪
♪ Every time we go somewhere ♪
♪ They gotta search down in my purse ♪
♪ And scan your waves And your homeboy waves ♪
♪ And sometimes your cousin's waves ♪
♪ They don't never have to pay We buy the cars ♪
♪ Hang around in bars Trying to hang around with stars ♪
♪ Like Badu, I'mma tell you the truth ♪
♪ Got the proof, it's on the news ♪
♪ The motherfuckers cloned Tyrone ♪
[chuckles]
♪ Cloned him ♪
♪ Hell going on ♪
-♪ I don't need this shit ♪ -♪ Come on, come on, come on ♪
♪ Somebody cloned Tyrone ♪
♪ Cloned him ♪
♪ And they tapping our phones ♪
[crowd cheering]
[song ends]
[crowd cheering loudly]
♪ What's happening with you? ♪
♪ It's your boy DJ Cerebral using music To infiltrate the minds of the people ♪
♪ Coming to you live and direct From W250 HZ ♪
♪ The bass frequency ♪
♪ We have a very special program prepared For you all this evening ♪
♪ As we will Be giving you an exclusive ♪
♪ Listening experience to the what? ♪
♪ Y'all ask us to bring the what? ♪
♪ We brought the what? The ruckus ♪
♪ But before we get started I wanna make one thing clear ♪
♪ What you're about to hear Isn't exactly for everybody ♪
♪ Who's it for? ♪
♪ Know this has been specifically chosen And curated for my niggas, my bitches ♪
♪ And those who are too pure to realize They have that potential ♪
♪ See, this is for my hos, my hustlers ♪
♪ My schemers, my scammers ♪
♪ The lowlife motherfuckers Selling work to your gram ♪
♪ This is for my folks Who searching, but rarely looking ♪
♪ Hypocritical, woke niggas Who leverage knowledge for pussy ♪
♪ This here is for the rookies And the vets ♪
♪ In a game, the hall of fame ♪
♪ All the niggas Who could've been had they learned this ♪
♪ If you listen closely ♪
♪ Encoded under melodic tunes And tick-tick-tick sonic booms ♪
-♪ You'll realize it's just another… ♪ -[music distorts]
♪ Whoa, see I don't know What the fuck is going on ♪
♪ But somebody needs to fix that ♪
♪ That sounds like Some technical difficulty ♪
♪ 'Cause if I heard right That sounds like the motherfucking truth ♪
♪ And we all know That they ain't sponsoring this show ♪
♪ So anyhoo, without further ado ♪
♪ For your entertainment and distraction ♪
♪ To keep you complacent And counteract the madness ♪
♪ And only seeing value and satisfaction This is shallow with your bass ♪
♪ Once again, this your man, DJ Cerebral ♪
♪ Coming at you from W-250 HZ ♪
♪ Now you know, there wouldn't be misery If we ain't love company ♪
♪ Feel free to call us While you experience this ruckus ♪
♪ And tell us How I fucked up your perspective ♪
[song fades]
[funky music playing]
[music stops]