1
00:00:01,976 --> 00:00:05,679
[upbeat music]

2
00:00:11,984 --> 00:00:16,984
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org

3
00:00:17,490 --> 00:00:21,494
[moaning]

4
00:00:22,495 --> 00:00:24,364
[woman] The letters
of the alphabet teach us

5
00:00:24,498 --> 00:00:25,966
to be confident.

6
00:00:26,699 --> 00:00:30,271
<i>♪ A is always ♪</i>

7
00:00:30,403 --> 00:00:32,740
<i>♪ Be yourself ♪</i>

8
00:00:32,872 --> 00:00:35,643
[moaning]

9
00:00:37,110 --> 00:00:40,747
<i>♪ C is for chasing
All of your dreams ♪</i>

10
00:00:40,881 --> 00:00:44,384
<i>♪ D, yay ♪</i>

11
00:00:44,518 --> 00:00:47,921
<i>♪ E is for everyone having ♪</i>

12
00:00:48,054 --> 00:00:49,423
[Darla] Fuck!

13
00:00:49,555 --> 00:00:50,557
Hold on, wait,
there's something...

14
00:00:50,691 --> 00:00:51,792
- Shut up.
- No, I got something.

15
00:00:51,926 --> 00:00:53,527
- I'm almost there.
- Hold on.

16
00:00:53,661 --> 00:00:55,730
- Shut up.
- What the hell is this?

17
00:00:55,862 --> 00:01:00,435
[moaning]

18
00:01:02,804 --> 00:01:03,737
Wait.

19
00:01:05,972 --> 00:01:07,007
What's going on?

20
00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:09,276
- Where are you going?
- I'll let you finish up.

21
00:01:09,409 --> 00:01:11,012
Hey, you gonna
leave me hanging?

22
00:01:11,144 --> 00:01:12,512
[Darla] Nice meeting you.

23
00:01:12,646 --> 00:01:14,847
[man] Come on, can't
you give a guy a hand?

24
00:01:14,981 --> 00:01:16,683
I'm sure you
can figure it out.

25
00:01:16,816 --> 00:01:18,351
Oh, go fuck yourself.

26
00:01:18,484 --> 00:01:20,853
I do.
I get off faster that way.

27
00:01:21,287 --> 00:01:22,488
- Oh!
- Whoa.

28
00:01:22,621 --> 00:01:24,025
[man 2] Eyes on the road,
please.

29
00:01:24,158 --> 00:01:25,326
Watch where you're going.

30
00:01:25,459 --> 00:01:26,927
You walk backwards and I
should watch where I'm going?

31
00:01:27,060 --> 00:01:29,197
Yeah, sure, that
makes a lot of sense.

32
00:01:32,933 --> 00:01:34,301
Parent-teacher conference.

33
00:01:34,435 --> 00:01:35,736
Yeah, right.

34
00:01:36,537 --> 00:01:37,771
- Ms. Kelly.
- You caught me.

35
00:01:37,905 --> 00:01:39,739
Not exactly the
kindergarten teacher type.

36
00:01:39,873 --> 00:01:41,775
Excuse me, you know smoking
indoors has been illegal

37
00:01:41,909 --> 00:01:43,310
for like 10 years, right?

38
00:01:43,444 --> 00:01:46,546
What? No, someone definitely
would have told me.

39
00:01:49,283 --> 00:01:51,751
You know, you really
shouldn't light that.

40
00:01:51,885 --> 00:01:53,153
Calm down, hall monitor.

41
00:01:53,287 --> 00:01:55,690
If anyone's getting cancer
around here, it's me.

42
00:02:16,076 --> 00:02:17,110
Shit.

43
00:02:29,288 --> 00:02:31,223
- Is this...
- Sex addicts?

44
00:02:31,358 --> 00:02:32,593
It's a room full of 'em,

45
00:02:32,727 --> 00:02:34,729
so welcome to the
sausage party, sister.

46
00:02:34,861 --> 00:02:35,995
You guys meet
in a grade school?

47
00:02:36,129 --> 00:02:37,864
No one thinks that's
a little pervy?

48
00:02:37,997 --> 00:02:40,334
Well, we used to meet in the
basement over at St. Patrick's...

49
00:02:40,467 --> 00:02:41,901
Is that any good?

50
00:02:42,036 --> 00:02:43,903
I've had better
but I'm...

51
00:02:44,038 --> 00:02:45,072
Great.

52
00:02:52,312 --> 00:02:53,614
Sorry I'm late.

53
00:02:53,747 --> 00:02:56,017
Quite a line in the men's room,
believe it or not.

54
00:03:02,788 --> 00:03:04,090
He's the group leader?

55
00:03:04,692 --> 00:03:06,960
[laughs]
Tell me about it.

56
00:03:07,093 --> 00:03:09,829
He's certainly not
making this easy for us.

57
00:03:16,436 --> 00:03:18,338
Well, this is awkward.

58
00:03:18,472 --> 00:03:20,106
I obviously don't
need to be here

59
00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:21,909
but if you could just sign
this little piece of paper

60
00:03:22,043 --> 00:03:23,778
saying I was though,
then I'll shove off

61
00:03:23,911 --> 00:03:26,580
and avoid making this any
weirder than it already is.

62
00:03:26,713 --> 00:03:28,081
Okay?

63
00:03:30,717 --> 00:03:33,020
How about we skip
the intro today

64
00:03:33,152 --> 00:03:35,521
and dive right into
a newcomer share?

65
00:03:35,655 --> 00:03:37,491
Darla here would
like to go first.

66
00:03:37,623 --> 00:03:39,425
[All] Hi, Darla.

67
00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:41,495
Oh. [laughs] Sup.

68
00:03:41,627 --> 00:03:43,563
Uh, I was actually
just leaving.

69
00:03:43,698 --> 00:03:45,298
If you could just sign that.

70
00:03:45,431 --> 00:03:46,732
So soon?

71
00:03:46,866 --> 00:03:50,836
What, was it something
we did or didn't do?

72
00:03:50,971 --> 00:03:54,473
Oh, no, I was just
regretting that I came.

73
00:03:54,608 --> 00:03:57,411
Well, it says here that you
were court-ordered to attend.

74
00:03:57,544 --> 00:04:01,081
Yeah, I don't really know
how any of this works, so...

75
00:04:01,215 --> 00:04:02,816
I'm sure you
can figure it out.

76
00:04:02,949 --> 00:04:05,885
- Oh.
- Won't you have a seat?

77
00:04:07,221 --> 00:04:08,622
Great to have you.

78
00:04:09,522 --> 00:04:10,757
All right.

79
00:04:10,890 --> 00:04:14,027
[woman] Most kids got toys
or a pet that year.

80
00:04:14,927 --> 00:04:16,831
I got a pack of smokes.

81
00:04:16,963 --> 00:04:21,033
It's a right of passage in
my family, so now here I am.

82
00:04:22,002 --> 00:04:25,305
Youngest of seven and the
only one in treatment.

83
00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:28,442
[counselor] Thank you
for your courage, Aida.

84
00:04:28,574 --> 00:04:32,278
I hope you come to see this
group as your surrogate family.

85
00:04:33,879 --> 00:04:35,815
Who'd like to share next?

86
00:04:37,684 --> 00:04:38,919
Bailey?

87
00:04:40,521 --> 00:04:42,355
Welcome back.
It's been a while.

88
00:04:42,488 --> 00:04:44,056
What's going on?

89
00:04:44,690 --> 00:04:48,861
I'm just, uh, stopping in.

90
00:04:49,428 --> 00:04:52,432
Had my one year check-in.

91
00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:56,302
Uh, waiting to hear the results.

92
00:04:56,435 --> 00:04:58,004
It's probably fine.

93
00:04:58,139 --> 00:05:00,774
There's nothing wrong
with a little scanxiety.

94
00:05:00,908 --> 00:05:02,877
We've all been there, right?

95
00:05:04,444 --> 00:05:06,346
Who else wants to share?

96
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:09,617
<i>♪ I don't see
My friends no more ♪</i>

97
00:05:09,750 --> 00:05:11,985
<i>♪ At all ♪</i>

98
00:05:12,119 --> 00:05:14,821
<i>♪ Ever since I let you go ♪</i>

99
00:05:14,954 --> 00:05:17,423
<i>♪ You know ♪</i>

100
00:05:17,557 --> 00:05:22,762
<i>♪ Lately I've been
Leaning on myself ♪</i>

101
00:05:25,064 --> 00:05:27,134
<i>♪ Lately I don't need
Nobody else ♪</i>

102
00:05:27,266 --> 00:05:29,437
[phone ringing]

103
00:05:31,605 --> 00:05:37,311
<i>♪ Just trying not to feel
The way I felt ♪</i>

104
00:05:38,377 --> 00:05:42,382
[man] We actually have
ten for a thousand...

105
00:05:44,684 --> 00:05:46,987
Yeah, I'll take
your number down.

106
00:05:53,059 --> 00:05:54,794
[Bailey's mom]
<i>Bailey, it's your mother.</i>

107
00:05:54,927 --> 00:05:56,495
<i>Please don't send me
to voice mail.</i>

108
00:05:56,629 --> 00:05:58,331
<i>I know how technology works.</i>

109
00:05:58,464 --> 00:06:00,066
<i>I just texted you
a photo of your father</i>

110
00:06:00,201 --> 00:06:01,835
<i>in front of his new gym.</i>

111
00:06:01,968 --> 00:06:03,770
<i>Isn't he handsome?</i>

112
00:06:03,903 --> 00:06:06,507
<i>He'd love to show you the new
location next time you're in town.</i>

113
00:06:06,639 --> 00:06:09,475
<i>Speaking of, Karen
Carthright is throwing</i>

114
00:06:09,610 --> 00:06:11,411
<i>a retirement party next week.</i>

115
00:06:11,545 --> 00:06:13,847
<i>I hear Liz will be there.</i>

116
00:06:13,980 --> 00:06:15,716
<i>You should be there too.</i>

117
00:06:15,848 --> 00:06:18,450
<i>We'd love to see
you both, together.</i>

118
00:06:18,584 --> 00:06:20,454
<i>Okay, son, love you.</i>

119
00:06:24,790 --> 00:06:26,894
[inhales deeply]

120
00:06:36,103 --> 00:06:39,006
It's time, man.
Seriously.

121
00:06:39,906 --> 00:06:42,242
You gotta get rid of that
photo behind the desk.

122
00:06:43,374 --> 00:06:43,342
It's fucking weird.

123
00:06:43,476 --> 00:06:46,212
Oh, is that still?
Oh, that's right, yeah.

124
00:06:46,346 --> 00:06:49,048
You just need to get laid,
all right? And move on.

125
00:06:49,182 --> 00:06:53,086
Speaking of, she's been checking
you out over there, hard.

126
00:06:53,220 --> 00:06:55,823
Go holler at her,
see for yourself.

127
00:07:05,264 --> 00:07:07,801
[clears throat]
Hey, Liz.

128
00:07:08,569 --> 00:07:09,802
What are you doing here?

129
00:07:09,937 --> 00:07:11,571
The garbage man tried
to take this again today

130
00:07:11,704 --> 00:07:14,774
even I've assured them many times
you would come by to pick it up.

131
00:07:14,908 --> 00:07:16,609
Oh, yeah,
I'm sorry about that.

132
00:07:16,742 --> 00:07:17,976
It's fine, it's the last one.

133
00:07:18,110 --> 00:07:19,545
Yeah, but you know,
I was actually hoping

134
00:07:19,678 --> 00:07:21,781
that we could go through this
stuff together, you know.

135
00:07:21,915 --> 00:07:23,550
A lot of this stuff
is actually yours.

136
00:07:23,682 --> 00:07:25,451
Like this.

137
00:07:25,586 --> 00:07:26,920
That is not mine.

138
00:07:27,052 --> 00:07:28,588
Yeah, I got that for
your birthday last year.

139
00:07:28,721 --> 00:07:29,855
You know, I got
the matching ones?

140
00:07:29,990 --> 00:07:31,458
I really appreciate
the thought, Bailey,

141
00:07:31,591 --> 00:07:34,093
but I don't think we should
have matching snuggies anymore.

142
00:07:34,228 --> 00:07:36,096
Mostly because we're adults.

143
00:07:36,230 --> 00:07:38,564
Oh, you know, it's funny,
I don't even draw anymore.

144
00:07:38,699 --> 00:07:41,468
Yeah, I spend my time doing more
productive stuff, like you said.

145
00:07:41,601 --> 00:07:42,534
Good.

146
00:07:42,668 --> 00:07:43,903
Okay, I gotta run.

147
00:07:44,036 --> 00:07:46,139
Uh, hey, what are
you up to later?

148
00:07:46,273 --> 00:07:48,375
I was thinking maybe we
could, like, grab lunch,

149
00:07:48,507 --> 00:07:50,709
something like, oh, you know,
there's a new exhibit at the...

150
00:07:50,843 --> 00:07:52,111
We've talked about this.

151
00:07:52,245 --> 00:07:53,846
You need to start hanging
out with other people.

152
00:07:53,980 --> 00:07:56,081
At the very least,
call your parents.

153
00:07:56,216 --> 00:07:58,352
My mom said they're
really worried about you.

154
00:07:58,485 --> 00:07:59,586
I really have to go.

155
00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:00,721
Yeah.

156
00:08:00,853 --> 00:08:01,854
- Okay.
- Cool.

157
00:08:01,987 --> 00:08:03,456
It's good to see you.

158
00:08:06,059 --> 00:08:08,862
[gentle music]

159
00:08:18,004 --> 00:08:20,374
[moaning]

160
00:08:22,709 --> 00:08:25,411
[upbeat music]

161
00:08:31,752 --> 00:08:33,153
Darla Bean!

162
00:08:34,221 --> 00:08:37,124
- Yes, your highness?
- Get in here, now!

163
00:08:43,931 --> 00:08:44,764
Hey, Frank.

164
00:08:44,898 --> 00:08:46,300
Ooh, new desk?

165
00:08:46,432 --> 00:08:47,533
I like it.

166
00:08:48,701 --> 00:08:49,735
What the fuck is this?

167
00:08:49,870 --> 00:08:51,038
Based on its
current condition,

168
00:08:51,171 --> 00:08:53,006
I'm gonna say
my latest column?

169
00:08:53,139 --> 00:08:55,009
I'm guessing
no gold stars?

170
00:08:55,142 --> 00:08:57,510
"Nothing kills the high of
a Friday night office hookup

171
00:08:57,644 --> 00:09:00,547
like a Saturday morning
brunch and 'bortion."

172
00:09:00,679 --> 00:09:02,248
Hashtag brunch and 'bort.

173
00:09:03,683 --> 00:09:05,017
You think this is funny.

174
00:09:05,152 --> 00:09:06,586
- Yes?
- I don't know what's worse,

175
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,721
the fact that you think it's
okay to lampoon an abortion...

176
00:09:08,855 --> 00:09:09,889
Well, if you can't
laugh about it.

177
00:09:10,023 --> 00:09:10,923
Or this.

178
00:09:11,057 --> 00:09:13,560
[moaning]

179
00:09:13,692 --> 00:09:14,693
Oh.

180
00:09:14,827 --> 00:09:15,696
[Darla]
<i>Come on and turn.</i>

181
00:09:15,828 --> 00:09:16,995
- <i>What?</i>
- <i>Fuck me.</i>

182
00:09:17,129 --> 00:09:18,164
[Frank] <i>I am!</i>

183
00:09:18,298 --> 00:09:19,600
I'm really glad
you like the desk,

184
00:09:19,732 --> 00:09:21,300
seeing as it's coming
out of your severance.

185
00:09:21,434 --> 00:09:23,236
You told me to write
about office romance.

186
00:09:23,370 --> 00:09:24,637
And instead you
made a sex tape.

187
00:09:24,770 --> 00:09:25,771
Wait,
you got an abortion?

188
00:09:25,905 --> 00:09:27,406
Was it mine?

189
00:09:27,541 --> 00:09:29,342
Yes, Franklin, you
knocked me up so fast,

190
00:09:29,475 --> 00:09:30,878
I had to Uber straight
to the clinic.

191
00:09:31,010 --> 00:09:32,346
- This isn't a joke.
- I didn't get an abortion.

192
00:09:32,479 --> 00:09:33,980
Did you guys never
go to health class?

193
00:09:34,114 --> 00:09:35,848
First, I bail you out of
a sexual harassment case.

194
00:09:35,981 --> 00:09:37,183
Oh please,
I was flirting.

195
00:09:37,317 --> 00:09:38,918
And now you're fucking
interns at the office.

196
00:09:39,052 --> 00:09:40,354
And you get another
titillating column

197
00:09:40,486 --> 00:09:42,488
and he gets another notch
on his tiny little belt.

198
00:09:42,621 --> 00:09:43,823
Everyone wins.

199
00:09:43,956 --> 00:09:45,893
I put up with your shit
because your stories were good.

200
00:09:46,025 --> 00:09:48,827
But now they're...
they're unrelatable

201
00:09:48,961 --> 00:09:50,462
and, frankly, offensive.

202
00:09:50,596 --> 00:09:51,764
Well...

203
00:09:52,198 --> 00:09:53,332
You're fired.

204
00:09:53,466 --> 00:09:54,234
So are you.

205
00:09:54,366 --> 00:09:56,202
But I don't get paid!

206
00:09:56,336 --> 00:09:57,370
Tanya.

207
00:09:58,572 --> 00:09:59,740
You can't fire me.

208
00:09:59,873 --> 00:10:01,675
My column is a very integral
part of this publication.

209
00:10:01,807 --> 00:10:04,443
The column is, yes,
but you're not the one writing it anymore.

210
00:10:04,576 --> 00:10:06,679
I am the column!

211
00:10:06,813 --> 00:10:10,283
I inspire millions of women to
reignite their burnout sex lives.

212
00:10:10,417 --> 00:10:12,985
I'm like the Oprah of orgasms.

213
00:10:13,119 --> 00:10:14,488
Every lady gets one!

214
00:10:14,620 --> 00:10:16,423
Well, they'll just have to
get them from someone else.

215
00:10:16,556 --> 00:10:20,093
I find the weirdest,
raciest shit and I live it.

216
00:10:20,225 --> 00:10:21,794
Who else is gonna do that?

217
00:10:21,927 --> 00:10:23,797
Look, you're not the only nympho
that can formulate a sentence.

218
00:10:23,929 --> 00:10:26,165
[Darla] <i>Call me Tanya!</i>

219
00:10:26,299 --> 00:10:28,100
- [Frank] <i>Tanya.</i>
- [Darla] <i>Say that I'm the boss.</i>

220
00:10:28,235 --> 00:10:30,704
- [Frank] <i>You're the boss.</i>
- [Darla] <i>Yeah, I am!</i>

221
00:10:30,836 --> 00:10:31,937
[Frank] <i>Yes!</i>

222
00:10:32,072 --> 00:10:33,506
[sighs] Okay, I get it.

223
00:10:33,639 --> 00:10:34,707
I fucked up, I did.

224
00:10:34,841 --> 00:10:36,808
I vow to keep going to
that group of degenerates,

225
00:10:36,942 --> 00:10:39,545
never boink another coworker,
and to be more responsible.

226
00:10:39,679 --> 00:10:41,480
- We cool?
- Stop by HR on your way out.

227
00:10:41,615 --> 00:10:43,783
They'll go through
your severance package.

228
00:10:45,119 --> 00:10:47,921
Tanya, I got a rap sheet
working for you.

229
00:10:48,053 --> 00:10:49,722
Nobody else is
gonna hire me now.

230
00:10:51,124 --> 00:10:53,159
This is all I'm good at.

231
00:10:54,927 --> 00:10:56,362
I'm sorry.

232
00:10:56,495 --> 00:10:59,632
But your stories lately just
aren't worth fighting for.

233
00:11:10,476 --> 00:11:11,877
Please tell me you left.

234
00:11:12,011 --> 00:11:13,246
Got it.

235
00:11:19,184 --> 00:11:20,119
Where are you going?

236
00:11:20,253 --> 00:11:21,555
Find a story.

237
00:11:21,687 --> 00:11:24,023
Something good enough to
put this bullshit to bed.

238
00:11:24,157 --> 00:11:25,559
[moaning in video]

239
00:11:25,692 --> 00:11:26,759
[woman] <i>Oh fuck.</i>

240
00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:28,495
Fuck. Stop.

241
00:11:30,663 --> 00:11:32,533
[moaning continues]

242
00:11:34,433 --> 00:11:36,635
Go back to your
makeup tutorials.

243
00:11:36,769 --> 00:11:40,606
[woman] <i>God, oh god, oh
god, oh god, yes, yes, yes!</i>

244
00:11:58,191 --> 00:12:00,694
[clattering]

245
00:12:01,794 --> 00:12:03,362
Ah ah.

246
00:12:04,563 --> 00:12:05,264
I'm sorry.

247
00:12:05,398 --> 00:12:07,768
Happens all the time. [laughs]

248
00:12:11,270 --> 00:12:14,173
[sighs]
You might want to sit down.

249
00:12:16,643 --> 00:12:19,379
[slow music]

250
00:12:46,740 --> 00:12:48,408
Please don't send
me to voice mail, Liz.

251
00:12:48,541 --> 00:12:49,709
I know how
technology works.

252
00:12:49,842 --> 00:12:51,543
Bailey, what the hell
are you doing here?

253
00:12:51,677 --> 00:12:53,647
- I saw your story.
- Okay, you need to get off my Instagram.

254
00:12:53,779 --> 00:12:56,082
I just got some
really bad news.

255
00:12:56,216 --> 00:12:57,551
Can we please?

256
00:12:57,683 --> 00:12:59,151
Oh, terrific.

257
00:12:59,285 --> 00:13:00,452
Uh, no.

258
00:13:00,586 --> 00:13:02,556
Can you please bring
another one of those?

259
00:13:04,057 --> 00:13:06,493
Wow, that is really good.

260
00:13:06,625 --> 00:13:08,028
What is this place anyway?

261
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:10,863
Like some sort of like
hipster hat bar or something?

262
00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:12,365
Okay, you need to leave now.

263
00:13:12,498 --> 00:13:13,800
Liz, this is serious.

264
00:13:13,933 --> 00:13:15,033
Yeah, it always is with you.

265
00:13:15,168 --> 00:13:16,802
You can figure this
out on your own.

266
00:13:16,936 --> 00:13:18,370
Oh, thank you.

267
00:13:18,504 --> 00:13:20,706
No, okay, he's not my date.
Please stop giving him drinks.

268
00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:21,674
You're on a date?

269
00:13:21,807 --> 00:13:23,676
Yes, I'm dating,
and so should you.

270
00:13:23,809 --> 00:13:25,211
Now go.

271
00:13:25,945 --> 00:13:27,080
Okay, I'm sorry.

272
00:13:27,212 --> 00:13:28,514
Look, I know
I haven't been great

273
00:13:28,648 --> 00:13:32,384
about giving you your space,
but this is different.

274
00:13:32,519 --> 00:13:34,387
Can we please just talk?

275
00:13:34,519 --> 00:13:36,789
Somewhere preferably
with less of these hats?

276
00:13:36,923 --> 00:13:40,226
I mean, just, it's all the same.
It's like they sell them here.

277
00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:42,528
No, no, we can't.
I'm leaving town tonight.

278
00:13:42,662 --> 00:13:43,330
Forever?

279
00:13:43,462 --> 00:13:44,697
No, not forever.

280
00:13:44,831 --> 00:13:46,667
I'm going home for my
mom's retirement party.

281
00:13:46,799 --> 00:13:50,370
And honestly, I feel like we
shouldn't see each other for a while.

282
00:13:51,538 --> 00:13:52,572
Liz.

283
00:13:53,974 --> 00:13:54,908
I love you.

284
00:13:55,042 --> 00:13:56,242
Look, Bails.

285
00:13:57,309 --> 00:14:00,446
How are we supposed to know
that we're meant to be together

286
00:14:00,580 --> 00:14:03,083
if we've never been
with anybody else?

287
00:14:03,216 --> 00:14:06,019
So you want me to
be with someone else,

288
00:14:06,153 --> 00:14:07,119
so then we can be together?

289
00:14:07,253 --> 00:14:08,421
No, you're missing the point.

290
00:14:08,554 --> 00:14:11,224
Your white knight
has returned, princess.

291
00:14:11,890 --> 00:14:12,724
Who's this dude?

292
00:14:12,859 --> 00:14:14,093
Who is this dude?

293
00:14:14,226 --> 00:14:16,696
Okay, first of all, not a
princess, don't need saving.

294
00:14:16,830 --> 00:14:19,966
And second of all,
this is my old friend.

295
00:14:20,099 --> 00:14:21,735
Bailey was just saying goodbye.

296
00:14:24,004 --> 00:14:26,706
[slow music]

297
00:14:30,210 --> 00:14:31,644
[man] Can you pick
up the pace, bro?

298
00:14:40,820 --> 00:14:42,923
Gonna need another
glass of that.

299
00:14:43,990 --> 00:14:46,692
[upbeat music]

300
00:15:05,044 --> 00:15:06,279
[beeps]

301
00:15:12,150 --> 00:15:14,253
I'll take a whiskey, neat.

302
00:15:14,386 --> 00:15:16,722
[laughs] Just kidding.

303
00:15:17,456 --> 00:15:19,525
No, this warm sludge
looks delicious.

304
00:15:19,658 --> 00:15:20,894
Want to fill me up?

305
00:15:21,695 --> 00:15:23,697
You know, this is only
my second meeting,

306
00:15:23,830 --> 00:15:26,966
but what do you say we blow
this sad little circlejerk

307
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:29,369
and get the hell out of here?

308
00:15:30,736 --> 00:15:32,972
Hey, hey.

309
00:15:33,105 --> 00:15:34,139
Tom.

310
00:15:35,008 --> 00:15:37,076
Whew, honey, you look
a little flushed.

311
00:15:37,576 --> 00:15:39,045
You wanna have a seat?

312
00:15:39,544 --> 00:15:41,014
Just right over there.

313
00:15:41,147 --> 00:15:42,448
Bye, Tom.

314
00:15:43,482 --> 00:15:45,350
Are you trying to give
that man a heart attack?

315
00:15:45,485 --> 00:15:47,286
Why do you take
this shit so seriously?

316
00:15:47,419 --> 00:15:48,421
Because it works.

317
00:15:48,554 --> 00:15:49,688
You know what?

318
00:15:49,822 --> 00:15:51,524
I know a sponsor
I can introduce you to.

319
00:15:51,658 --> 00:15:53,560
I don't need a sponsor.

320
00:15:53,692 --> 00:15:56,562
No offense, but
I'm not an addict.

321
00:15:56,696 --> 00:15:59,264
I write a sex column and I'm
here doing some research.

322
00:15:59,399 --> 00:16:00,466
Sex column?

323
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:02,201
Darla, this might
be a joke to you,

324
00:16:02,335 --> 00:16:03,970
but it's very real for us.

325
00:16:04,104 --> 00:16:05,372
So why don't you have a seat

326
00:16:05,504 --> 00:16:07,240
and treat the people in
here with some respect?

327
00:16:07,373 --> 00:16:10,477
Maybe that way you'll find
something worth writing about.

328
00:16:13,312 --> 00:16:15,948
Step eight.

329
00:16:16,750 --> 00:16:19,317
Make a list of all
persons we have harmed

330
00:16:19,451 --> 00:16:21,721
and be willing
to make amends.

331
00:16:23,255 --> 00:16:24,524
This is a tough one.

332
00:16:24,657 --> 00:16:28,461
But in order to understand
the extent and pattern

333
00:16:28,595 --> 00:16:31,965
of my addiction, it helped
me to recognize those

334
00:16:32,097 --> 00:16:33,132
that I had hurt.

335
00:16:33,265 --> 00:16:36,001
Does he think
vaginas have teeth?

336
00:16:36,134 --> 00:16:38,904
In your case,
I'm pretty sure it has fangs.

337
00:16:39,038 --> 00:16:43,543
I brought paper and pencils and,
hell, I even have a road map

338
00:16:43,677 --> 00:16:45,979
for those who need help
jogging their memory.

339
00:16:46,111 --> 00:16:49,748
[laughs] This step helped me
earn back my wife's trust

340
00:16:49,881 --> 00:16:52,885
and get my impulses
under control.

341
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:55,654
Did you write my name down

342
00:16:55,788 --> 00:16:57,990
or did you put your
wife's name down again?

343
00:16:58,125 --> 00:17:00,993
You know, you might
actually need this.

344
00:17:01,126 --> 00:17:02,161
A whole map.

345
00:17:02,294 --> 00:17:03,629
Circle all the
places I've fucked?

346
00:17:03,763 --> 00:17:05,832
Are you sure this isn't
gonna make you jealous?

347
00:17:05,964 --> 00:17:07,032
Oh, have at it.

348
00:17:10,170 --> 00:17:12,773
[calm music]

349
00:17:28,421 --> 00:17:29,689
What?

350
00:17:36,461 --> 00:17:38,664
Okay, I'm ready to share.

351
00:17:39,199 --> 00:17:40,833
- This is me?
- Oh shit.

352
00:17:41,433 --> 00:17:42,667
Oh, a lot of new faces.

353
00:17:42,801 --> 00:17:44,770
Hey, excuse me, sir,
I think you're mistaken...

354
00:17:44,903 --> 00:17:46,138
No.

355
00:17:46,271 --> 00:17:47,874
I think I got this.

356
00:17:48,740 --> 00:17:51,845
[slurring]
Well, it's back, baby.

357
00:17:51,978 --> 00:17:54,747
T-motherfu-C.

358
00:17:54,881 --> 00:17:57,583
That's testicular cancer,
if you're nasty.

359
00:17:57,717 --> 00:17:59,518
I got cancer in my testicles.

360
00:17:59,652 --> 00:18:02,121
You know, and I already
survived it once.

361
00:18:02,255 --> 00:18:06,459
They cut... They cut off
my left testicle.

362
00:18:06,593 --> 00:18:09,260
And so I was all good,
fairy-tale ending.

363
00:18:09,394 --> 00:18:12,030
Man loses ball, call it a day.

364
00:18:12,164 --> 00:18:16,001
Then, now, mysteriously
there's a magical lump

365
00:18:16,134 --> 00:18:18,939
on my right guy,
so the doctor says

366
00:18:19,071 --> 00:18:22,640
we won't know how bad it
is till we chop it off.

367
00:18:22,775 --> 00:18:24,478
And mind you, he didn't
say chop it off...

368
00:18:24,611 --> 00:18:26,646
Should someone tell this guy
that AA is upstairs?

369
00:18:26,778 --> 00:18:29,082
But supposedly there's a
chance it's not malignant,

370
00:18:29,214 --> 00:18:32,251
so you know,
I'll probably survive it.

371
00:18:32,384 --> 00:18:33,486
I won't die from it.

372
00:18:33,619 --> 00:18:34,653
[laughs] Lucky me.

373
00:18:34,787 --> 00:18:37,323
But now, I'm an
eligible bachelor,

374
00:18:37,455 --> 00:18:39,357
who's gonna want
me now, you know?

375
00:18:39,491 --> 00:18:43,730
Right when maybe had a chance
to get back with my ex-fiancée.

376
00:18:50,903 --> 00:18:51,971
Hey.

377
00:18:52,872 --> 00:18:55,709
- You're Kindergarten Kelly.
- [clears throat]

378
00:18:55,842 --> 00:18:59,311
I remember you 'cause I
remember from the other room.

379
00:18:59,444 --> 00:19:00,913
Careful, everybody, look out.

380
00:19:01,047 --> 00:19:02,882
This one's a predator.
[laughing]

381
00:19:03,016 --> 00:19:07,220
Told you not to smoke.
Lo and behold, here you are too.

382
00:19:08,788 --> 00:19:11,724
Hey, actually I
recognize you too.

383
00:19:11,857 --> 00:19:14,594
Let's get you some water.
Maybe a stomach pump?

384
00:19:14,727 --> 00:19:15,695
That'd be fun.

385
00:19:15,827 --> 00:19:18,263
Yeah. You're good-lookin'.

386
00:19:18,396 --> 00:19:20,066
Let's get you outta here.

387
00:19:20,199 --> 00:19:24,036
Hey, you know, actually it's pretty
serendipitous that you're here.

388
00:19:24,170 --> 00:19:29,976
And on account of my junk being
sent to the nether realms,

389
00:19:30,109 --> 00:19:33,478
maybe you could help me with
a little secret mission?

390
00:19:33,613 --> 00:19:35,247
- Oh yeah?
- Yeah.

391
00:19:35,881 --> 00:19:39,451
It's intercourse with me.

392
00:19:39,585 --> 00:19:41,287
[group member]
Oh, my God. Nice.

393
00:19:41,420 --> 00:19:42,322
Wow.

394
00:19:42,454 --> 00:19:43,788
Well, I'm flattered.

395
00:19:43,923 --> 00:19:45,990
And I'm very sorry
about your balls,

396
00:19:46,125 --> 00:19:49,229
but man, do you have
the wrong room.

397
00:19:57,103 --> 00:19:58,171
Whoa.

398
00:19:58,671 --> 00:20:00,340
Whoops.

399
00:20:00,472 --> 00:20:01,941
My bad, y'all.

400
00:20:02,709 --> 00:20:04,243
All right,
let's get you outta here.

401
00:20:04,376 --> 00:20:05,411
- Yeah.
- Can you walk?

402
00:20:05,544 --> 00:20:07,079
I walk with the best,
watch this.

403
00:20:07,712 --> 00:20:09,014
[group member]
There he goes.

404
00:20:09,147 --> 00:20:10,515
[Darla] Okay.

405
00:20:10,650 --> 00:20:13,352
Psh. You wouldn't expect it,
I walk fine.

406
00:20:13,486 --> 00:20:14,720
Step eight though.

407
00:20:14,854 --> 00:20:16,556
You guys are all doing it,
and I'm proud of ya.

408
00:20:16,689 --> 00:20:18,258
I'm proud of ya.

409
00:20:19,459 --> 00:20:21,760
You guys, one day at a time.

410
00:20:21,894 --> 00:20:24,330
Oh, it's right there,
says it on the thing.

411
00:20:26,298 --> 00:20:27,833
[Darla] We're good,
yeah, bring that.

412
00:20:27,967 --> 00:20:29,669
[Bailey]
Don't wanna waste it.

413
00:20:31,403 --> 00:20:35,709
I'm really sorry.
I have no idea what that was.

414
00:20:38,344 --> 00:20:41,814
All right, so with one,
how does that work exactly?

415
00:20:41,946 --> 00:20:44,717
Do you still get hard,
just...

416
00:20:44,851 --> 00:20:46,019
[Bailey burps]

417
00:20:46,152 --> 00:20:47,220
Oh, okay.

418
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:48,554
You okay?

419
00:20:48,688 --> 00:20:49,889
I saved it.

420
00:20:50,021 --> 00:20:51,957
Got most of it out
in the parking lot anyway.

421
00:20:52,092 --> 00:20:53,325
Good.

422
00:20:53,459 --> 00:20:54,794
Please don't puke on me.

423
00:20:54,928 --> 00:20:57,763
I'm less likely to bang
somebody if I get puked on.

424
00:20:57,896 --> 00:21:00,165
Oh, you mean my very
charming proposition?

425
00:21:00,299 --> 00:21:02,634
Yeah, you made quite
a speech back there.

426
00:21:02,768 --> 00:21:04,769
Yeah, I have no
more dignity to lose.

427
00:21:04,903 --> 00:21:06,705
There's not even napkins,
it's ridiculous.

428
00:21:06,838 --> 00:21:08,307
I have some tissues, here.

429
00:21:12,744 --> 00:21:13,745
You going somewhere?

430
00:21:13,878 --> 00:21:15,180
No, absolutely not.

431
00:21:15,314 --> 00:21:17,883
Just some dumb exercise
that douchebag made us do.

432
00:21:18,017 --> 00:21:20,753
Probably so he could brag
about his own sexual conquests.

433
00:21:20,886 --> 00:21:22,288
What kind of exercise is that?

434
00:21:22,422 --> 00:21:23,756
I think we were
supposed to make a list

435
00:21:23,888 --> 00:21:25,824
of all the people
that we had sex with

436
00:21:25,958 --> 00:21:28,795
and circle the places
on a map.

437
00:21:28,928 --> 00:21:31,764
So they're encouraging you
to rehash your sexual history?

438
00:21:31,896 --> 00:21:34,033
But isn't that like triggering?

439
00:21:34,599 --> 00:21:35,734
I don't know.

440
00:21:35,868 --> 00:21:37,502
You have to like
revisit all the places?

441
00:21:37,635 --> 00:21:39,238
No, that would be insane.

442
00:21:39,372 --> 00:21:43,910
[laughs] I mean, all my sexual
history could fit on a bar napkin.

443
00:21:44,644 --> 00:21:46,711
- I could help you with that.
- Oh yeah?

444
00:21:46,846 --> 00:21:48,948
You wanna revisit all
your past romps with me?

445
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:51,116
Show me how it's done?

446
00:21:55,253 --> 00:21:56,789
That's actually
not a bad idea.

447
00:21:56,923 --> 00:21:58,424
[laughs] Yeah.

448
00:21:58,557 --> 00:21:59,759
No, seriously.

449
00:21:59,892 --> 00:22:02,228
You're about to have
a life-changing surgery

450
00:22:02,361 --> 00:22:04,229
and you could have
one last hurrah.

451
00:22:04,363 --> 00:22:06,332
Check some things off
the old bucket list.

452
00:22:06,464 --> 00:22:07,900
And I would get my...

453
00:22:08,701 --> 00:22:11,103
The catharsis that
I need for my therapy.

454
00:22:11,237 --> 00:22:13,005
Aren't you supposed
to not be having sex?

455
00:22:13,138 --> 00:22:14,639
It would just be you
and me the whole time.

456
00:22:14,773 --> 00:22:15,807
You don't go to the classes.

457
00:22:15,941 --> 00:22:17,509
I go to the classes
all the time.

458
00:22:17,643 --> 00:22:19,612
And you're just not supposed to
have sex with a lot of people.

459
00:22:19,746 --> 00:22:22,782
The opposite of
promiscuity is monogamy.

460
00:22:22,914 --> 00:22:24,682
Wouldn't that be
like abstinence?

461
00:22:24,817 --> 00:22:25,884
Agree to disagree.

462
00:22:26,019 --> 00:22:27,787
You'd be helping me
with step eight,

463
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:29,689
with the list of people
that I had sex with

464
00:22:29,821 --> 00:22:33,058
and remembering
who those people were.

465
00:22:33,192 --> 00:22:35,227
Darla, look.

466
00:22:35,827 --> 00:22:37,863
You're a very nice lady.

467
00:22:37,997 --> 00:22:39,499
I mean, I think, I don't know.

468
00:22:39,632 --> 00:22:42,567
But I can't go on a
cross-country trip with you.

469
00:22:42,701 --> 00:22:44,437
I don't even know you.

470
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:48,774
Fine.

471
00:22:48,907 --> 00:22:50,175
Can I get the check, please?

472
00:22:50,309 --> 00:22:52,845
- Thank you, by the way.
- [sighs]

473
00:22:52,979 --> 00:22:54,346
I thought we were
gonna help each other

474
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:56,481
but if you're cool
with getting sterilized

475
00:22:56,615 --> 00:22:58,517
without so much as a send-off,
then that's on you.

476
00:22:58,650 --> 00:23:01,019
<i>Headed for Dallas for
my mom's retirement party,</i>

477
00:23:01,153 --> 00:23:04,156
<i>which is next week,
and I am so excited!</i>

478
00:23:05,424 --> 00:23:06,459
Wait.

479
00:23:07,393 --> 00:23:09,996
When is this trip
supposed to start?

480
00:23:11,564 --> 00:23:13,500
I don't know, tomorrow.

481
00:23:18,738 --> 00:23:20,006
Okay.

482
00:23:21,006 --> 00:23:23,342
- But I have one condition.
- Oh yeah?

483
00:23:23,476 --> 00:23:24,344
What's that?

484
00:23:24,477 --> 00:23:26,278
We have to stop in Dallas.

485
00:23:26,412 --> 00:23:29,181
No, I didn't fuck
anybody in Dallas, weirdly.

486
00:23:29,315 --> 00:23:33,219
Look, if you want me to go on
your sex therapy trip with you,

487
00:23:33,352 --> 00:23:36,389
you have to go to
Dallas with me.

488
00:23:36,521 --> 00:23:38,023
Quid pro quo.

489
00:23:38,991 --> 00:23:40,593
Visa versa.

490
00:23:41,027 --> 00:23:43,062
Two peas in a pod.

491
00:23:43,796 --> 00:23:45,431
This a staring contest?

492
00:23:45,565 --> 00:23:48,667
Because if it is, I guarantee
you I never lose 'em.

493
00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:50,068
Or have I blinked?

494
00:23:50,202 --> 00:23:53,138
I can't... that was a blink.

495
00:23:55,574 --> 00:23:56,709
Round two.

496
00:23:56,842 --> 00:23:59,311
[upbeat music]

497
00:24:00,278 --> 00:24:02,448
[Tanya] She's your daughter,
figure it out.

498
00:24:03,383 --> 00:24:04,083
Oh, come on.

499
00:24:04,215 --> 00:24:05,350
[Darla clears throat]

500
00:24:05,484 --> 00:24:07,886
[Tanya] Jay. Jay!

501
00:24:08,019 --> 00:24:10,823
Uh-huh. Fuck, fuck.

502
00:24:10,955 --> 00:24:12,924
Tanya.
I have an idea.

503
00:24:13,057 --> 00:24:15,027
- You're fired, go home.
- Hear me out.

504
00:24:15,161 --> 00:24:16,929
I don't have time for this.

505
00:24:17,063 --> 00:24:18,464
I do not have time for you,

506
00:24:18,597 --> 00:24:20,265
I don't have time for
my deadbeat ex-husband,

507
00:24:20,398 --> 00:24:21,933
I don't have time for
my board of directors,

508
00:24:22,067 --> 00:24:23,301
who don't seem to understand

509
00:24:23,435 --> 00:24:25,169
that we are treading water
in a dying industry

510
00:24:25,304 --> 00:24:27,306
because they've never heard
of the fucking Internet.

511
00:24:27,439 --> 00:24:29,842
I consider firing you
to be a mercy killing.

512
00:24:29,976 --> 00:24:31,577
You're so welcome.

513
00:24:31,711 --> 00:24:33,144
I'm really sorry about all that,
by the way, but I have an idea.

514
00:24:33,278 --> 00:24:35,948
What if I went back
and I relived my history?

515
00:24:36,082 --> 00:24:37,249
My sexual history.

516
00:24:37,383 --> 00:24:39,818
Every raunchy hookup,
every backroom romp,

517
00:24:39,951 --> 00:24:42,087
every dirty debacle,
and I do it again.

518
00:24:42,221 --> 00:24:44,923
Everywhere I fucked before,
but like a do-over.

519
00:24:45,057 --> 00:24:47,259
- Why?
- Because it's never been done before.

520
00:24:47,392 --> 00:24:49,128
And because it'll
sell magazines.

521
00:24:49,260 --> 00:24:52,431
And because I really
need my job back.

522
00:24:52,565 --> 00:24:55,134
I'm not gonna condone you
prostituting yourself for a story.

523
00:24:55,268 --> 00:24:57,002
Yes, wait.
But I met this guy.

524
00:24:57,135 --> 00:25:00,440
He has cancer and he's about to lose
both of his balls, he's a total mess,

525
00:25:00,573 --> 00:25:03,076
and it'll just be me and him
having sex the whole time.

526
00:25:03,209 --> 00:25:05,345
And he's the story.

527
00:25:07,646 --> 00:25:10,014
This guy's really
about to be castrated

528
00:25:10,148 --> 00:25:12,183
and he knows that you're
writing about him?

529
00:25:12,317 --> 00:25:13,050
Sure.

530
00:25:13,184 --> 00:25:15,086
Yeah, under a pseudonym.

531
00:25:15,221 --> 00:25:18,223
Give me a chance at a feature.

532
00:25:19,025 --> 00:25:21,026
I just fired you,
I'm not promoting you.

533
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:22,762
- Fair. I'll do it as a column piece.
- No.

534
00:25:22,894 --> 00:25:27,200
Fine, fine. I will use the blog.
The fucking blog.

535
00:25:27,333 --> 00:25:28,601
I will spice up
the web presence

536
00:25:28,733 --> 00:25:30,635
for those dinosaur board
of directors, you know?

537
00:25:30,769 --> 00:25:32,605
Show 'em what the
Internet's really all about.

538
00:25:32,738 --> 00:25:33,673
[clicks tongue]

539
00:25:35,008 --> 00:25:37,644
Please, please consider it?

540
00:25:38,911 --> 00:25:40,880
I want live posts
from the road.

541
00:25:41,012 --> 00:25:42,214
I want daily entries

542
00:25:42,347 --> 00:25:44,049
on how this guy's dealing
with his condition

543
00:25:44,182 --> 00:25:47,353
and how sex and love change
with age and maturity.

544
00:25:47,486 --> 00:25:49,522
- Thank you.
- And I'm not paying you.

545
00:25:50,388 --> 00:25:52,391
- Cover my expenses?
- No.

546
00:25:52,525 --> 00:25:54,060
Lube? Condoms?

547
00:25:56,295 --> 00:25:57,329
Do not fuck this up.

548
00:25:57,461 --> 00:25:59,698
- What if I nail it?
- Then we'll talk.

549
00:26:00,298 --> 00:26:02,167
- Okay, no.
- I'm sorry.

550
00:26:02,300 --> 00:26:03,602
I love that shirt. Ah!

551
00:26:03,736 --> 00:26:06,071
Your readers are gonna
suck their own dicks!

552
00:26:06,204 --> 00:26:09,241
- Shh!
- Yeah, too much, okay.

553
00:26:09,808 --> 00:26:12,612
[upbeat music]

554
00:26:21,988 --> 00:26:23,323
Heyo!

555
00:26:24,556 --> 00:26:27,427
You know, we can take
my car if we need to.

556
00:26:27,559 --> 00:26:29,127
No, we're taking my car.
Get in.

557
00:26:29,260 --> 00:26:31,329
Just, it looks like you just
bought that on Craigslist.

558
00:26:31,463 --> 00:26:32,597
I did.

559
00:26:32,731 --> 00:26:35,067
Like a while ago, when
Craigslist just first started.

560
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:36,635
Yeah, this is Craig's car.

561
00:26:36,769 --> 00:26:38,336
- [Bailey] Oh.
- Get the fuck in.

562
00:26:38,470 --> 00:26:40,139
This doesn't look like it's gonna make
it, the trip, you know?

563
00:26:40,272 --> 00:26:41,706
Well, you better
fucking hurry!

564
00:26:42,173 --> 00:26:43,175
Yeah, I better.

565
00:26:43,308 --> 00:26:45,509
[Darla] Your
chariot awaits, sir.

566
00:26:45,644 --> 00:26:47,113
[laughs]

567
00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:50,482
[woman] <i>Hi, Mr. Brighton,
this is Dr. Kaydan's office,</i>

568
00:26:50,615 --> 00:26:52,483
<i>calling to schedule
your orchiectomy.</i>

569
00:26:52,617 --> 00:26:54,153
<i>We had a cancellation
it looks like</i>

570
00:26:54,287 --> 00:26:56,422
<i>and I can actually get you
on the schedule tomorrow.</i>

571
00:26:56,555 --> 00:26:59,392
<i>So please give us a call
back as soon as you can.</i>

572
00:26:59,525 --> 00:27:00,593
<i>Thank you.</i>

573
00:27:05,865 --> 00:27:09,067
So work was cool with you
just taking off like this?

574
00:27:09,201 --> 00:27:11,570
I played the
cancer card, again.

575
00:27:13,305 --> 00:27:14,774
It's my second time actually.

576
00:27:14,906 --> 00:27:18,176
I do it a third time,
they'll definitely fire me.

577
00:27:18,310 --> 00:27:21,446
- Cause you don't have three balls.
- Exactly, that's why.

578
00:27:22,213 --> 00:27:24,682
- Where are we going exactly?
- Right.

579
00:27:25,284 --> 00:27:26,919
Consider this our Bible.

580
00:27:27,053 --> 00:27:29,354
We're gonna hit
every X on that map.

581
00:27:29,488 --> 00:27:32,625
Except for the Atlanta area,
that was a clusterfuck.

582
00:27:32,759 --> 00:27:34,093
- Literally.
- [Bailey] Whoa!

583
00:27:34,226 --> 00:27:35,628
What?
What's wrong with your face?

584
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:37,129
- All of these Xs.
- Yeah.

585
00:27:37,262 --> 00:27:38,696
You had sex in
all these places?

586
00:27:38,830 --> 00:27:39,664
Bingo.

587
00:27:39,798 --> 00:27:40,967
I was expecting a lot,

588
00:27:41,099 --> 00:27:43,301
but like I wasn't
expecting this many.

589
00:27:43,435 --> 00:27:45,403
All right, you're either
judging me or underestimating me

590
00:27:45,538 --> 00:27:46,639
and either way
I don't like it.

591
00:27:46,771 --> 00:27:49,274
I'm not judging you,
it's just, I mean?

592
00:27:49,407 --> 00:27:51,509
College wasn't really my thing
and so after high school,

593
00:27:51,644 --> 00:27:54,180
I just took off,
moved around a lot.

594
00:27:54,313 --> 00:27:55,882
Your parents were
cool with that?

595
00:27:56,015 --> 00:27:58,351
Just me and my mom,
and she's got a...

596
00:27:59,551 --> 00:28:00,519
A thing.

597
00:28:00,653 --> 00:28:03,122
Took her a week to
even notice I was gone.

598
00:28:07,291 --> 00:28:09,060
What's this little
mark right here?

599
00:28:09,194 --> 00:28:10,394
Oh, that is our first stop.

600
00:28:10,528 --> 00:28:12,196
- It's at the airport?
- Yeah.

601
00:28:12,330 --> 00:28:14,533
Grab us one of those
back there, would ya?

602
00:28:20,939 --> 00:28:22,408
I...

603
00:28:22,540 --> 00:28:24,976
I mean, is this trip sponsored?

604
00:28:25,109 --> 00:28:27,346
[upbeat music]

605
00:28:29,115 --> 00:28:30,982
So were you like picking
up a boyfriend or?

606
00:28:31,115 --> 00:28:32,183
Never had one.

607
00:28:32,317 --> 00:28:33,384
So who was this guy?

608
00:28:33,519 --> 00:28:34,920
I don't know, some
flight attendant.

609
00:28:35,054 --> 00:28:36,255
Had terrible breath,
I remember that.

610
00:28:36,388 --> 00:28:38,056
So why'd you
have sex with him?

611
00:28:38,190 --> 00:28:39,357
My flight was delayed.

612
00:28:39,490 --> 00:28:41,059
The... I'm sorry, what?

613
00:28:41,193 --> 00:28:43,828
No, random people don't
just, you know, like...

614
00:28:43,962 --> 00:28:45,431
Men aren't that complicated.

615
00:28:45,564 --> 00:28:47,298
If you wanna get laid,
you just walk up and you ask them.

616
00:28:47,432 --> 00:28:49,401
No, can't be that easy.

617
00:28:49,535 --> 00:28:51,370
- Just come on.
- Okay.

618
00:28:53,739 --> 00:28:54,640
This feels so wrong.

619
00:28:54,772 --> 00:28:57,041
- Why are you whispering?
- I don't know.

620
00:28:57,174 --> 00:28:58,743
All right, come on,
let's do this.

621
00:28:58,876 --> 00:29:01,713
I was in one of these stalls,
I think it was this one.

622
00:29:02,882 --> 00:29:04,116
Come on!

623
00:29:05,851 --> 00:29:07,653
Oh, wait, I have to pee.

624
00:29:11,790 --> 00:29:14,460
[urine trickling]

625
00:29:22,101 --> 00:29:25,170
[toilet flushing]

626
00:29:25,304 --> 00:29:27,105
- Okay.
- Ew, you just peed.

627
00:29:27,239 --> 00:29:28,740
Jesus Christ.

628
00:29:29,607 --> 00:29:30,643
Come on.

629
00:29:36,848 --> 00:29:37,950
Wait, what?

630
00:29:38,084 --> 00:29:39,151
You have two,
I'm so confused.

631
00:29:39,284 --> 00:29:40,719
One of 'em's silicone.

632
00:29:40,853 --> 00:29:42,087
You have a nut implant?

633
00:29:42,221 --> 00:29:43,255
They do that?

634
00:29:43,387 --> 00:29:44,522
That's amazing.

635
00:29:44,656 --> 00:29:45,758
Well, thank you for
your stellar review.

636
00:29:45,891 --> 00:29:47,026
Okay, come on.

637
00:29:47,159 --> 00:29:48,260
This is what happened.

638
00:29:48,394 --> 00:29:50,228
- He was sitting here.
- Excuse me.

639
00:29:50,362 --> 00:29:51,864
Some sanitation, please.

640
00:29:53,432 --> 00:29:54,666
Here, princess.

641
00:29:56,469 --> 00:29:58,237
- There you go.
- Thank you.

642
00:30:00,439 --> 00:30:02,208
You know, actually
maybe we should just

643
00:30:02,340 --> 00:30:04,308
like share a meal
first or something.

644
00:30:04,442 --> 00:30:07,480
The more you talk,
the less I want to do this.

645
00:30:07,613 --> 00:30:09,515
Yes or no?

646
00:30:09,647 --> 00:30:11,183
Yes.

647
00:30:17,689 --> 00:30:21,026
[moaning]

648
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:22,862
Okay, carry me to the sink.

649
00:30:22,994 --> 00:30:24,295
- What?
- That's what happened.

650
00:30:24,429 --> 00:30:25,964
We fucked here and then
he carried me to the sink.

651
00:30:26,097 --> 00:30:28,799
- What if someone comes in?
- Well, then make it quick.

652
00:30:28,933 --> 00:30:30,134
Come on!

653
00:30:30,268 --> 00:30:32,071
Must I do everything?

654
00:30:32,203 --> 00:30:33,871
Okay, go to the sink.

655
00:30:34,006 --> 00:30:35,173
Okay.

656
00:30:35,307 --> 00:30:38,911
[moaning]

657
00:30:42,413 --> 00:30:43,548
[people chattering]

658
00:30:43,682 --> 00:30:44,915
Shh.

659
00:30:45,049 --> 00:30:46,152
Someone's coming.

660
00:30:46,285 --> 00:30:47,219
Me.

661
00:30:47,352 --> 00:30:49,287
Back to the stall, go!

662
00:30:49,421 --> 00:30:51,390
- Oh shit, oh shit.
- Oh god!

663
00:30:51,890 --> 00:30:53,425
Oh shit!

664
00:30:53,558 --> 00:30:55,661
- [Darla screaming]
- Oh shit!

665
00:31:04,636 --> 00:31:05,671
[sighs]

666
00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:09,741
Finally.

667
00:31:10,776 --> 00:31:11,810
You see, Darla,

668
00:31:11,943 --> 00:31:14,012
this is where normal people
usually have sex.

669
00:31:14,145 --> 00:31:17,015
You should look into it.
[sighs]

670
00:31:18,817 --> 00:31:21,319
[toilet flushes]

671
00:31:24,489 --> 00:31:26,726
Feels nice to get
some comfies on.

672
00:31:28,094 --> 00:31:29,729
What,
you're not a PJ person?

673
00:31:30,628 --> 00:31:32,763
I've got a snuggie
if you want.

674
00:31:33,664 --> 00:31:35,600
There's literally
nothing I want less.

675
00:31:39,571 --> 00:31:42,173
You know, there's enough space
on this bed for both of us.

676
00:31:42,307 --> 00:31:43,608
Oh, I'm good.

677
00:31:43,741 --> 00:31:46,545
Oh, you're afraid I'm
gonna put the moves on you?

678
00:31:47,346 --> 00:31:48,680
Night, Bailey.

679
00:31:48,814 --> 00:31:51,851
[calm music]

680
00:31:51,983 --> 00:31:53,785
[door closes]

681
00:32:42,067 --> 00:32:43,035
[phone clicks]

682
00:32:59,250 --> 00:33:00,618
[computer chimes]

683
00:33:01,987 --> 00:33:04,056
Whatcha working on
there, stranger?

684
00:33:04,190 --> 00:33:05,324
Uh, nothing.

685
00:33:05,457 --> 00:33:07,259
Just journaling.

686
00:33:07,393 --> 00:33:08,794
Anything about me?

687
00:33:09,728 --> 00:33:11,029
Don't flatter yourself.

688
00:33:11,163 --> 00:33:12,530
[laughs]
Just checking.

689
00:33:12,663 --> 00:33:14,465
You still haven't told me
what kind of writing you do.

690
00:33:14,599 --> 00:33:16,100
Yeah, well, I guess
we still have a lot

691
00:33:16,233 --> 00:33:17,534
to learn about each other.

692
00:33:17,669 --> 00:33:19,137
Gonna get in the shower.

693
00:33:19,270 --> 00:33:21,639
We should probably pack up.

694
00:33:21,773 --> 00:33:24,408
Let's just say on
this next stretch,

695
00:33:24,542 --> 00:33:26,544
I made a lot of friends.

696
00:33:31,950 --> 00:33:33,552
[Bailey] Wait,
so we have to do it

697
00:33:33,684 --> 00:33:36,554
exactly the same way it was,
otherwise it doesn't count?

698
00:33:36,688 --> 00:33:38,757
Whatever happens at X is
what we need to do there.

699
00:33:38,891 --> 00:33:40,793
Penetration, vaginal,
anal, just the tip,

700
00:33:40,925 --> 00:33:42,193
- hand jobs, blow jobs...
- Okay.

701
00:33:42,327 --> 00:33:43,595
Around the back, going down.

702
00:33:43,729 --> 00:33:45,029
I'm very uncomfortable.

703
00:33:45,163 --> 00:33:46,731
I bet you slayed in college.

704
00:33:46,865 --> 00:33:49,101
- Before I got engaged?
- Yeah.

705
00:33:49,233 --> 00:33:50,434
What's your number?

706
00:33:50,568 --> 00:33:52,238
[laughs]

707
00:33:52,371 --> 00:33:53,538
How many people
have you fucked?

708
00:33:53,672 --> 00:33:54,873
We're about to do
a lot of fucking

709
00:33:55,006 --> 00:33:56,475
so I want to know what
I'm working with here.

710
00:33:56,607 --> 00:33:58,309
- Uh, no.
- How about we say it at the same time?

711
00:33:58,443 --> 00:33:59,478
This is childish.

712
00:33:59,611 --> 00:34:00,713
Okay, on the count
of three, ready?

713
00:34:00,846 --> 00:34:02,114
- We don't need to do that.
- One, two...

714
00:34:02,247 --> 00:34:03,582
- Not gonna give a number out to whoever.
- Three.

715
00:34:03,715 --> 00:34:04,817
- It's two!
- 169.

716
00:34:04,950 --> 00:34:06,884
169? Will you please
look at the road?

717
00:34:07,019 --> 00:34:09,387
You've had sex
with two people?

718
00:34:09,521 --> 00:34:11,223
Liz and I were
high school sweethearts.

719
00:34:11,356 --> 00:34:13,025
We went to college together.

720
00:34:13,159 --> 00:34:15,693
Oh, my God. So at least there's
another person, thank God.

721
00:34:15,827 --> 00:34:17,563
Who's the other person?

722
00:34:22,032 --> 00:34:23,000
Me?

723
00:34:23,134 --> 00:34:24,302
I'm number two?

724
00:34:24,436 --> 00:34:25,836
I said we were
high school sweethearts.

725
00:34:25,971 --> 00:34:28,706
I've had sex before,
just always with Liz.

726
00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:30,842
This is the most terrifying
thing that you could ever tell me

727
00:34:30,976 --> 00:34:33,411
other than "Here, smell this
rag" or "I think I love you."

728
00:34:33,545 --> 00:34:34,980
You're terrified?

729
00:34:35,114 --> 00:34:36,280
You're terrified?

730
00:34:36,414 --> 00:34:37,581
Have you seen this map?

731
00:34:37,715 --> 00:34:39,250
- All right.
- All these Xs?

732
00:34:39,384 --> 00:34:42,688
I mean, there's like eight more
Xs before we leave the state.

733
00:34:42,820 --> 00:34:43,954
We're already
in this together,

734
00:34:44,088 --> 00:34:45,891
so I guess I'm just
gonna deal with it.

735
00:34:46,025 --> 00:34:46,826
Nine!

736
00:34:46,958 --> 00:34:49,928
[upbeat music]

737
00:34:53,364 --> 00:34:57,068
<i>♪ Oh ♪</i>

738
00:34:57,202 --> 00:35:00,606
<i>♪ They gonna
See us for miles ♪</i>

739
00:35:02,474 --> 00:35:03,642
What are you doing?

740
00:35:03,775 --> 00:35:05,543
Don't smoke in the car with me.

741
00:35:05,677 --> 00:35:07,411
- What do mean?
- I've got cancer!

742
00:35:08,447 --> 00:35:11,916
<i>♪ Put on your face
And your fancy clothes ♪</i>

743
00:35:12,050 --> 00:35:15,353
<i>♪ We're all play
No pressure though ♪</i>

744
00:35:15,487 --> 00:35:17,956
<i>♪ Board up the windows
Lock the doors ♪</i>

745
00:35:18,090 --> 00:35:22,327
<i>♪ All the kids on the lawn
Down on all fours ♪</i>

746
00:35:22,460 --> 00:35:26,065
<i>♪ We got a message
For the campus king ♪</i>

747
00:35:26,197 --> 00:35:28,766
<i>♪ Your jealousy's
Not flattering ♪</i>

748
00:35:28,900 --> 00:35:32,136
<i>♪ We invented this club
And everyone in it ♪</i>

749
00:35:32,271 --> 00:35:36,742
<i>♪ We're gonna rattle their
Doors at the city limits ♪</i>

750
00:35:36,875 --> 00:35:39,043
<i>♪ What gets you up
Gets you down ♪</i>

751
00:35:39,177 --> 00:35:43,716
<i>♪ Ain't it funny how
We've been laughing at you ♪</i>

752
00:35:43,849 --> 00:35:46,117
<i>♪ What gets you up
Gets you down ♪</i>

753
00:35:46,251 --> 00:35:50,689
<i>♪ Ain't it funny how
You can't handle our moves ♪</i>

754
00:35:50,822 --> 00:35:53,191
<i>♪ What gets you up
Gets you down ♪</i>

755
00:35:53,324 --> 00:35:55,326
<i>♪ Ain't it funny how
We've been laughing at you ♪</i>

756
00:35:55,460 --> 00:35:56,795
Got some more of these.

757
00:35:56,929 --> 00:36:00,131
I can't look at the map
and drive at the same time.

758
00:36:00,264 --> 00:36:02,433
- Where are we right now?
- Stop doodling. I need you to help me!

759
00:36:02,567 --> 00:36:03,902
- I am, okay.
- I think we're lost.

760
00:36:04,036 --> 00:36:05,971
Get off on 59.
I don't think we're lost.

761
00:36:08,873 --> 00:36:11,141
- Can I help you with anything?
- No. No, no, no.

762
00:36:11,275 --> 00:36:13,644
Okay, I'm just checking.
I'm here for you.

763
00:36:13,777 --> 00:36:16,881
Uh, it's just, must be
the cold or something.

764
00:36:17,615 --> 00:36:18,918
It's not that cold.

765
00:36:20,284 --> 00:36:21,753
Too much?
Okay, okay.

766
00:36:24,623 --> 00:36:26,590
Oh. [moans]

767
00:36:26,724 --> 00:36:29,928
<i>♪ Oh ♪</i>

768
00:36:30,061 --> 00:36:33,164
<i>♪ They're gonna
See us for miles ♪</i>

769
00:36:33,297 --> 00:36:36,967
<i>♪ We'll make true believers
Of the liars and cheaters ♪</i>

770
00:36:37,101 --> 00:36:39,737
<i>♪ Oh, they're gonna
See us for miles ♪</i>

771
00:36:39,871 --> 00:36:41,506
[Bailey] You walk into
any place with confidence,

772
00:36:41,639 --> 00:36:42,907
you can have sex in that place.

773
00:36:43,041 --> 00:36:44,443
Or you just wear
a camo shirt

774
00:36:44,576 --> 00:36:45,976
because then
they can't see you.

775
00:36:46,110 --> 00:36:47,711
Exactly, and they're like
"Thank you for your service."

776
00:36:47,846 --> 00:36:51,215
<i>♪ Whoa, oh oh oh ♪</i>

777
00:36:51,349 --> 00:36:58,257
<i>♪ Ooh oooh
Whoa oh oh oh ♪</i>

778
00:36:58,389 --> 00:37:02,126
<i>♪ Whoo, they're gonna
See us for miles ♪</i>

779
00:37:02,827 --> 00:37:04,863
To fucking halfway
across America.

780
00:37:04,996 --> 00:37:06,131
Hmm.

781
00:37:07,498 --> 00:37:09,233
To be honest, I didn't
think you were gonna cut it.

782
00:37:09,367 --> 00:37:12,737
Well, sex can be a
compelling motivator,

783
00:37:12,871 --> 00:37:14,106
especially with you.

784
00:37:17,141 --> 00:37:18,909
Wait a second.
What is this?

785
00:37:19,043 --> 00:37:20,844
- Can you give that back, please?
- Is this me?

786
00:37:20,978 --> 00:37:22,914
It's nothing,
it's just I got bored

787
00:37:23,047 --> 00:37:24,748
- when you were in the bathroom.
- Shit, Bailey.

788
00:37:24,882 --> 00:37:28,819
I saw you sketching before but I
didn't realize I was shagging Picasso.

789
00:37:28,952 --> 00:37:31,789
I'm more of a Shepard Fairey,
Robin Velghe kind of guy.

790
00:37:31,923 --> 00:37:32,925
You're in deep
with this shit.

791
00:37:33,057 --> 00:37:34,326
Did you go to art school?

792
00:37:34,460 --> 00:37:35,527
Yeah, right.

793
00:37:35,661 --> 00:37:37,429
Father would've disowned me.
Yeah...

794
00:37:37,563 --> 00:37:38,963
If I hadn't followed
Liz to Atlanta,

795
00:37:39,097 --> 00:37:41,066
I probably would've been
running one of his gyms by now.

796
00:37:41,199 --> 00:37:43,467
And instead you're slumming
it at someone else's.

797
00:37:43,601 --> 00:37:44,670
- Nice.
- Yeah.

798
00:37:44,802 --> 00:37:46,103
I mean, what else am I gonna do?

799
00:37:46,237 --> 00:37:49,140
This, you should do this.
It's sexy.

800
00:37:51,409 --> 00:37:53,277
Are you feeling any better?

801
00:37:53,411 --> 00:37:56,146
The therapy stuff, is any
of this actually helping?

802
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:57,715
Yeah.

803
00:37:57,849 --> 00:38:00,617
Yes, it is helping,
thank you for asking.

804
00:38:00,751 --> 00:38:03,621
And you? You wanted to get laid.
We've been doing a lot of that.

805
00:38:03,755 --> 00:38:05,824
Oh, careful what you wish for.

806
00:38:05,958 --> 00:38:08,593
Maybe your list can
fit on a few of these now

807
00:38:08,726 --> 00:38:10,228
and maybe soon
after your surgery,

808
00:38:10,362 --> 00:38:12,965
you'll be able to conquer
a whole paper towel.

809
00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:18,903
I'm not sure I'm gonna
go through with that.

810
00:38:19,637 --> 00:38:21,072
I didn't realize
that was optional.

811
00:38:21,206 --> 00:38:23,375
Well, it's just kinda
not loving the idea

812
00:38:23,507 --> 00:38:24,775
of becoming a eunuch.

813
00:38:24,909 --> 00:38:27,045
Maybe I just might
take my chances.

814
00:38:27,177 --> 00:38:29,179
Yeah, I hear that
works out really well for

815
00:38:29,313 --> 00:38:31,582
people who take their chances
with life-threatening diseases.

816
00:38:31,715 --> 00:38:33,685
Hey, can we not
talk about this?

817
00:38:35,454 --> 00:38:36,622
Yeah, sorry.

818
00:38:36,755 --> 00:38:38,289
I get it, you're anxious.

819
00:38:38,422 --> 00:38:40,491
Is that why you've been
having issues lately,

820
00:38:40,626 --> 00:38:42,226
getting full mast?

821
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:44,296
Oh, no.

822
00:38:44,429 --> 00:38:46,597
- Are you talking about the bus?
- Talking about your penis.

823
00:38:46,731 --> 00:38:48,432
- Actually, that's very normal.
- It's normal?

824
00:38:48,565 --> 00:38:50,734
- You know how long we've been going at it...
- A doctor.

825
00:38:50,869 --> 00:38:53,371
- My equipment works fine, all right?
- I know.

826
00:38:53,503 --> 00:38:54,572
You're smiling.

827
00:38:54,706 --> 00:38:56,141
Look, all right,
I'll prove it, okay?

828
00:38:56,273 --> 00:38:57,342
Where's next?

829
00:38:57,474 --> 00:38:58,710
Oh, see, look, look.

830
00:38:58,844 --> 00:38:59,778
We skipped a spot.

831
00:38:59,911 --> 00:39:01,847
We'll just circle back 60 miles.

832
00:39:03,282 --> 00:39:05,784
- No, we don't need to go back.
- No, no skipping.

833
00:39:05,916 --> 00:39:07,251
We'll just like turn
around tomorrow morning.

834
00:39:07,385 --> 00:39:08,954
We have so many
more places to go,

835
00:39:09,086 --> 00:39:12,157
so we should just get a move
on and go to those places.

836
00:39:12,289 --> 00:39:13,958
Yeah, but we've hit
every X before this one.

837
00:39:14,092 --> 00:39:15,626
Why all of a sudden are you
so fine with missing one?

838
00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:16,895
Just because we're
skipping a spot

839
00:39:17,028 --> 00:39:18,530
doesn't put the whole
trip in jeopardy.

840
00:39:18,664 --> 00:39:20,398
Why are you so willing to skip steps?
What about step eight?

841
00:39:20,530 --> 00:39:23,300
Step eight of 12.
You can't just like skip steps.

842
00:39:23,434 --> 00:39:25,070
Otherwise you're just standing still.
It's not an escalator

843
00:39:25,202 --> 00:39:26,838
that's gonna carry you up
through the steps.

844
00:39:26,972 --> 00:39:29,074
And guess what? Even on an escalator,
the steps come back around.

845
00:39:29,206 --> 00:39:31,942
- You can't just like skip them.
- Fine, we will go.

846
00:39:32,077 --> 00:39:33,278
- Whatever.
- All right.

847
00:39:33,411 --> 00:39:34,445
Oh, like right now?

848
00:39:40,585 --> 00:39:41,686
Generous tip.

849
00:39:41,818 --> 00:39:43,054
Thank you.

850
00:39:52,797 --> 00:39:54,800
[sighs] Check the mailbox.

851
00:40:08,045 --> 00:40:09,914
I can't believe
he still lives here.

852
00:40:13,217 --> 00:40:14,585
I'm gonna scope it out.

853
00:40:14,719 --> 00:40:15,820
Wait here.

854
00:40:15,954 --> 00:40:17,189
I don't care.

855
00:40:22,027 --> 00:40:23,295
[door slams]

856
00:40:23,427 --> 00:40:24,496
Shh!

857
00:40:32,103 --> 00:40:33,337
[whispers] Jesus.

858
00:40:41,679 --> 00:40:43,848
[whispers] Why am I doing this?
What am I doing?

859
00:40:43,981 --> 00:40:45,483
- [Darla whispers] Shut up.
- Shh. You shut up.

860
00:40:45,617 --> 00:40:47,986
I can hear you.
If I can hear you, everyone can hear you.

861
00:40:48,119 --> 00:40:50,188
No one's crazier than me.
Why am I doing this?

862
00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:51,389
Shh, shh.

863
00:40:55,293 --> 00:40:56,327
Oh, my God.

864
00:41:04,001 --> 00:41:05,170
[sighs]

865
00:41:12,844 --> 00:41:14,112
[thumps]

866
00:41:17,282 --> 00:41:18,416
[Bailey] Coast is clear.

867
00:41:18,550 --> 00:41:21,353
I checked all the windows,
nobody's home.

868
00:41:21,485 --> 00:41:22,954
Let's do this.

869
00:41:26,958 --> 00:41:29,126
[door squeaking]

870
00:41:31,128 --> 00:41:33,130
So are we going in
through the chimney or?

871
00:41:33,264 --> 00:41:35,266
[Darla] I remember
where the hide-a-key is.

872
00:41:42,706 --> 00:41:46,143
[Bailey] So moody,
it's like a cave in here.

873
00:41:46,277 --> 00:41:47,911
Look at all these brochures.

874
00:41:48,045 --> 00:41:49,681
Look, they must be
on vacation.

875
00:41:49,815 --> 00:41:51,483
Oh, Hawaii, nice.

876
00:41:51,615 --> 00:41:54,451
All right, so ready
to go down by the door,

877
00:41:54,585 --> 00:41:56,654
out here and the bedroom
knowing you?

878
00:41:59,423 --> 00:42:00,358
Kitchen.

879
00:42:00,492 --> 00:42:02,027
Kitchen, okay.

880
00:42:16,273 --> 00:42:19,844
Okay, I've made an assessment
and knowing you,

881
00:42:19,978 --> 00:42:21,914
I think I hit the jackpot.

882
00:42:22,880 --> 00:42:24,182
Counter, right?

883
00:42:25,550 --> 00:42:26,451
I was there.

884
00:42:26,583 --> 00:42:27,518
So close.

885
00:42:27,652 --> 00:42:29,619
I should get points
for trying at least.

886
00:42:29,753 --> 00:42:31,322
Just different counters.

887
00:42:34,925 --> 00:42:36,594
Are you okay?

888
00:42:40,831 --> 00:42:42,166
She was there.

889
00:42:42,733 --> 00:42:44,101
Who?

890
00:42:44,902 --> 00:42:45,871
The wife.

891
00:42:46,003 --> 00:42:47,538
The wife from the picture.

892
00:42:47,672 --> 00:42:50,175
She was standing there
before she ran out.

893
00:42:56,914 --> 00:42:58,951
I did this to her.

894
00:43:01,485 --> 00:43:02,520
Yeah.

895
00:43:03,588 --> 00:43:04,957
[breath shudders]

896
00:43:08,659 --> 00:43:10,061
Oh, my God.

897
00:43:10,762 --> 00:43:11,930
Hey.

898
00:43:12,063 --> 00:43:13,999
Don't touch me.

899
00:43:14,132 --> 00:43:16,168
I'm sorry, I just...

900
00:43:17,101 --> 00:43:18,903
I just don't know
what's happening.

901
00:43:19,036 --> 00:43:20,304
Nothing's happening.

902
00:43:20,438 --> 00:43:22,173
Nothing's happening,
I didn't even know this guy.

903
00:43:22,974 --> 00:43:24,476
You don't have to
tell me if you don't...

904
00:43:24,608 --> 00:43:28,212
I'm not... I'll tell you.
I don't care.

905
00:43:28,813 --> 00:43:31,182
I met him at a bar.

906
00:43:32,150 --> 00:43:34,318
He said his wife
was out of town.

907
00:43:35,853 --> 00:43:37,521
And when she walked in...

908
00:43:39,123 --> 00:43:41,292
no one has ever
looked at me like that.

909
00:43:42,393 --> 00:43:45,162
And I was just sitting
there with my legs open,

910
00:43:45,295 --> 00:43:46,897
just staring at her.

911
00:43:48,199 --> 00:43:51,769
And I knew I had done something fucked
up, but I didn't know what to do.

912
00:43:55,438 --> 00:43:58,242
And she left bawling in her car

913
00:43:59,010 --> 00:44:00,778
and he went out after her.

914
00:44:03,380 --> 00:44:05,549
And you wanna know
the fucked up thing?

915
00:44:07,284 --> 00:44:10,121
The most fucked up part is
that I remember thinking

916
00:44:12,856 --> 00:44:14,559
I didn't even get off.

917
00:44:18,228 --> 00:44:20,364
She didn't even make it a mile.

918
00:44:20,498 --> 00:44:24,101
She ran a red light,
got hit by a truck.

919
00:44:25,235 --> 00:44:27,237
And when I passed in the cab,

920
00:44:27,371 --> 00:44:29,374
the ambulance was already there.

921
00:44:30,842 --> 00:44:33,711
And I just passed on by them.

922
00:44:36,813 --> 00:44:40,518
I heard that they were still
together and that she was fine.

923
00:44:45,322 --> 00:44:46,356
I didn't know that...

924
00:44:46,490 --> 00:44:48,559
That she's in a wheelchair.

925
00:44:51,563 --> 00:44:55,700
- I'm... I'm so sorry.
- Don't... apologize to me.

926
00:44:55,833 --> 00:44:57,367
You don't think
I knew what I was doing?

927
00:44:57,501 --> 00:44:59,903
You don't think that I saw
his fucking wedding ring?

928
00:45:00,038 --> 00:45:01,338
I knew what I was doing.

929
00:45:01,472 --> 00:45:03,040
You can't blame yourself.

930
00:45:03,173 --> 00:45:05,108
Of course I fucking can.

931
00:45:05,242 --> 00:45:07,144
I... This was just
me getting laid.

932
00:45:07,277 --> 00:45:09,079
I destroyed these
people's lives,

933
00:45:09,213 --> 00:45:11,315
I destroyed this family.

934
00:45:11,882 --> 00:45:13,116
Well, I mean,

935
00:45:13,251 --> 00:45:14,952
he shouldn't have been
fucking around with you.

936
00:45:15,085 --> 00:45:18,556
If it wasn't for me, these kids would
be able to have a mom who isn't...

937
00:45:20,791 --> 00:45:22,393
Look, yes.

938
00:45:22,927 --> 00:45:24,129
You fucked up, okay?

939
00:45:24,262 --> 00:45:28,300
But this,
this isn't your fault.

940
00:45:30,034 --> 00:45:31,470
You don't know shit.

941
00:45:32,804 --> 00:45:34,840
[gentle music]

942
00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:43,215
[door opens]

943
00:45:44,782 --> 00:45:45,750
[door shuts]

944
00:46:34,297 --> 00:46:36,467
[engine starts]

945
00:47:37,862 --> 00:47:39,364
Oh, you're alive.

946
00:47:41,365 --> 00:47:44,235
[window whirring]

947
00:47:46,871 --> 00:47:47,872
Where are we?

948
00:47:48,005 --> 00:47:50,774
This is Dallas.
It's my parents' house.

949
00:47:51,742 --> 00:47:52,643
Welcome.

950
00:47:53,744 --> 00:47:56,280
- No.
- It's part of the deal, remember?

951
00:47:57,081 --> 00:47:58,249
I thought you were joking.

952
00:47:58,382 --> 00:47:59,783
Nope.

953
00:47:59,916 --> 00:48:02,653
In fact, I kinda need you to
pretend to be my girlfriend.

954
00:48:02,786 --> 00:48:04,587
That's weird. Yeah, no,
I know that's weird.

955
00:48:04,722 --> 00:48:06,124
But my parents think
I'm a mess right now,

956
00:48:06,257 --> 00:48:09,126
so I really could use your
help getting them off my back,

957
00:48:09,260 --> 00:48:13,431
so if that's cool with you.
If you're cool, I'm cool.

958
00:48:13,563 --> 00:48:15,500
Great.
I'll see you in the house.

959
00:48:17,835 --> 00:48:20,804
I'm gonna drive away.
I'm definitely driving away.

960
00:48:20,938 --> 00:48:23,575
I'm gonna drive away.
I can just drive away.

961
00:48:24,509 --> 00:48:26,744
Definitely driving away.

962
00:48:26,878 --> 00:48:28,913
[opera music]

963
00:48:33,184 --> 00:48:34,719
[Bailey]
Dinner's delicious, Mom.

964
00:48:34,851 --> 00:48:35,952
Thank you, son.

965
00:48:36,086 --> 00:48:38,889
As always,
looks and cooks.

966
00:48:39,023 --> 00:48:41,893
Have you ever met a woman that
could whip up a spread like this?

967
00:48:42,025 --> 00:48:43,994
I was raised on microwave
dinners and canned food,

968
00:48:44,128 --> 00:48:47,798
but, thank you, I've known a
few attractive cooks in my day.

969
00:48:47,931 --> 00:48:50,533
Darla, is that your car
parked in front of the house?

970
00:48:50,668 --> 00:48:53,037
Mm-hmm. I kidnapped your son
for a tour of debauchery.

971
00:48:53,170 --> 00:48:54,905
Therapy.
It's a therapy tour.

972
00:48:55,039 --> 00:48:58,376
That's actually how we met,
it's a cancer thing.

973
00:48:58,510 --> 00:49:00,778
Oh dear.
You're a patient too?

974
00:49:04,282 --> 00:49:06,951
Yes. It's my breasts,
they're toast.

975
00:49:07,083 --> 00:49:08,619
As fake as they come.

976
00:49:09,786 --> 00:49:10,753
Oh.

977
00:49:10,887 --> 00:49:13,356
Oh, see, I can spill
mashed potatoes on 'em

978
00:49:13,490 --> 00:49:14,791
and can't feel a thing.

979
00:49:14,925 --> 00:49:17,361
Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.
Can't feel a thing.

980
00:49:17,494 --> 00:49:19,864
I've read about this,
chemo brain?

981
00:49:19,996 --> 00:49:23,000
- Oh, no, Darla's very healthy.
- Oh.

982
00:49:23,134 --> 00:49:24,936
We both are.
Never better.

983
00:49:25,068 --> 00:49:26,836
[Bailey's mom]
What did the doctor say?

984
00:49:26,971 --> 00:49:30,208
Uh, Yeah, I just had
a checkup actually.

985
00:49:30,340 --> 00:49:31,442
All clear.

986
00:49:31,576 --> 00:49:33,043
Yeah, work's great too.

987
00:49:33,177 --> 00:49:36,681
It's like a lot of new
clients, gym's very busy.

988
00:49:36,813 --> 00:49:39,616
Well, your father's opening
was a huge success.

989
00:49:39,751 --> 00:49:41,852
You know, we've been
thinking about expanding.

990
00:49:41,985 --> 00:49:42,920
To Georgia.

991
00:49:43,054 --> 00:49:44,655
Maybe we can make this
a family business.

992
00:49:44,789 --> 00:49:46,290
Be so good for you, son,

993
00:49:46,423 --> 00:49:48,025
when you're ready
to start a family?

994
00:49:48,159 --> 00:49:50,827
I think he could really make some
money with those drawing skills.

995
00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:53,096
I think he could be
the next Shepherd's Pie.

996
00:49:53,230 --> 00:49:54,164
- Fairey.
- Fairey.

997
00:49:54,297 --> 00:49:55,566
- Shepard Fairey.
- Whatever.

998
00:49:55,699 --> 00:49:57,167
Bailey understands that
drawing is not a career,

999
00:49:57,300 --> 00:49:58,603
it's a hobby.

1000
00:49:58,735 --> 00:50:00,838
Well, you could say the
same thing about fitness.

1001
00:50:03,940 --> 00:50:05,742
And what exactly
do you do, Darla?

1002
00:50:05,876 --> 00:50:07,344
Mm? Oh, me.

1003
00:50:07,478 --> 00:50:08,847
I'm a writer.

1004
00:50:11,583 --> 00:50:13,483
For a magazine,
a very famous magazine.

1005
00:50:13,617 --> 00:50:14,784
It's very famous.

1006
00:50:14,918 --> 00:50:17,420
And we hire artists
like him all the time.

1007
00:50:17,554 --> 00:50:19,923
- Huh.
- [Bailey's mom] Which one?

1008
00:50:20,056 --> 00:50:21,625
- Which one?
- Mm-hmm.

1009
00:50:21,760 --> 00:50:22,793
Um...

1010
00:50:23,894 --> 00:50:26,264
What a question.
I don't think you've heard of it probably.

1011
00:50:26,396 --> 00:50:27,597
Oh, I'm sure we have.

1012
00:50:27,731 --> 00:50:29,066
We read all the big ones,

1013
00:50:29,199 --> 00:50:31,534
what, <i>Men's Fitness,
Men's Health, Men's Journal.</i>

1014
00:50:31,668 --> 00:50:33,036
Seems to be a theme going on.

1015
00:50:33,170 --> 00:50:35,706
My husband likes to stay
current with the industry.

1016
00:50:35,840 --> 00:50:41,746
Well, my industry is more of
like a women also exist... thing.

1017
00:50:45,782 --> 00:50:47,250
How long have you two
been dating?

1018
00:50:47,385 --> 00:50:48,419
- Only a few weeks.
- Months.

1019
00:50:48,552 --> 00:50:49,586
- Months!
- Few months.

1020
00:50:49,721 --> 00:50:51,356
Months, weeks, hard to tell.

1021
00:50:51,489 --> 00:50:53,190
'Cause we're having
so much fun.

1022
00:50:53,324 --> 00:50:57,762
Well, Bailey's mother and I dated
for 10 years before we married.

1023
00:50:57,896 --> 00:50:59,730
- We were high school sweethearts.
- Mm-hmm.

1024
00:50:59,864 --> 00:51:03,567
And speaking of,
Liz flew into town.

1025
00:51:03,701 --> 00:51:05,402
I'm sure she's gonna be
very happy to see you.

1026
00:51:05,536 --> 00:51:07,605
- Liz is here.
- Mm-hmm.

1027
00:51:07,737 --> 00:51:09,506
- Hm.
- Oh, she is?

1028
00:51:09,639 --> 00:51:13,409
Bailey, I told you last week when I
texted you those messages that you...

1029
00:51:13,543 --> 00:51:14,878
[yawns]

1030
00:51:15,012 --> 00:51:18,949
Oh, I think we're just so
tired from the drive here.

1031
00:51:19,083 --> 00:51:20,785
- Wow.
- I think I'm just gonna hit the hay.

1032
00:51:20,918 --> 00:51:23,054
So what time should we be
ready for the party tomorrow?

1033
00:51:23,186 --> 00:51:25,922
I thought this would be
more of a family thing.

1034
00:51:26,056 --> 00:51:27,523
No. Liz.

1035
00:51:27,657 --> 00:51:30,527
D-Darla's coming, right?

1036
00:51:31,329 --> 00:51:33,331
Yeah, I'm coming.

1037
00:51:33,465 --> 00:51:36,634
I can't wait to talk
more about my cancer

1038
00:51:36,766 --> 00:51:40,771
and our... loving relationship.

1039
00:51:41,405 --> 00:51:43,041
Son, please make sure

1040
00:51:43,173 --> 00:51:46,510
that you show Darla
the guest bedroom.

1041
00:51:48,177 --> 00:51:49,146
Yes, Mom.

1042
00:52:02,025 --> 00:52:02,993
[knocking]

1043
00:52:04,128 --> 00:52:05,028
Hey.

1044
00:52:07,197 --> 00:52:08,332
- Hey.
- Oh, wow.

1045
00:52:08,465 --> 00:52:10,635
Holy shit.

1046
00:52:10,768 --> 00:52:13,304
You didn't tell me you grew
up in "The Wonder Years."

1047
00:52:13,436 --> 00:52:15,572
I'm sorry about them.

1048
00:52:17,074 --> 00:52:20,544
Yeah. I mean,
one dinner with your parents

1049
00:52:20,677 --> 00:52:22,612
and I'm surprised you're
not a full serial killer.

1050
00:52:22,746 --> 00:52:25,682
[clears throat] You did go
a bit pathological though.

1051
00:52:26,583 --> 00:52:28,652
It's just so frustrating.

1052
00:52:28,786 --> 00:52:32,789
I just wanted to get
my mind off of this,

1053
00:52:32,923 --> 00:52:34,958
but like what if it's worse?

1054
00:52:35,092 --> 00:52:37,161
You know, what if
it's spreading?

1055
00:52:38,528 --> 00:52:40,731
[Darla sighs]

1056
00:52:46,302 --> 00:52:47,638
You're gonna be fine.

1057
00:52:48,739 --> 00:52:50,007
You don't know that.

1058
00:52:50,141 --> 00:52:52,076
It's not like I'm ever
gonna have a family.

1059
00:52:52,210 --> 00:52:55,612
And even if I did, I couldn't get
up without a testosterone injection.

1060
00:52:55,746 --> 00:52:57,782
This... This is it for me.

1061
00:52:57,916 --> 00:53:00,918
Jesus, don't you think you're
being just a little dramatic?

1062
00:53:01,050 --> 00:53:05,188
Okay, let's say that I managed
to get a second date, huh?

1063
00:53:05,322 --> 00:53:08,125
What happens when my
fake balls come out?

1064
00:53:08,257 --> 00:53:09,592
Who's gonna want that?

1065
00:53:09,726 --> 00:53:13,663
First off, balls stay in the
pants until they're invited out.

1066
00:53:13,797 --> 00:53:16,634
- Agreed.
- Second, chicks don't care about balls.

1067
00:53:16,768 --> 00:53:18,302
And also, that is such
a double standard.

1068
00:53:18,436 --> 00:53:21,405
Since when has a guy ever turned
down a girl with fake tits?

1069
00:53:21,539 --> 00:53:23,674
Never. Literally,
it's never happened.

1070
00:53:23,807 --> 00:53:26,777
I guess you'd know,
right, breast cancer?

1071
00:53:26,911 --> 00:53:29,146
Yes. Yeah, no thanks to you.

1072
00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:31,615
Maybe you should follow
suit, get some upgrades.

1073
00:53:31,748 --> 00:53:33,850
Old grapefruits swinging
from your branch.

1074
00:53:33,985 --> 00:53:36,421
Maybe it'll be your
foray into porno stardom.

1075
00:53:36,554 --> 00:53:37,922
- Mm-hmm.
- Uh-huh.

1076
00:53:38,056 --> 00:53:41,224
- What's your porn star name?
- I... W-What?

1077
00:53:41,358 --> 00:53:42,360
Your porn star name.

1078
00:53:42,492 --> 00:53:43,527
It's the name
of your first pet

1079
00:53:43,661 --> 00:53:45,262
and the street
you grew up on.

1080
00:53:46,563 --> 00:53:49,300
- Oh.
- Oh, it's good, what is it?

1081
00:53:49,432 --> 00:53:50,400
[Bailey] It is.

1082
00:53:50,534 --> 00:53:51,367
[laughs] What is it?

1083
00:53:51,501 --> 00:53:52,804
Uh...

1084
00:53:54,905 --> 00:53:57,274
It's Waggy Beansack.

1085
00:53:58,041 --> 00:54:00,378
- Waggy Beansack?
- This is Beansack.

1086
00:54:00,510 --> 00:54:02,646
I've been hanging
out on Beansack?

1087
00:54:02,780 --> 00:54:05,215
[laughs] And Waggy was
my dog, rest in peace.

1088
00:54:05,349 --> 00:54:06,884
Oh, my God.

1089
00:54:07,016 --> 00:54:08,518
All right, your turn.

1090
00:54:08,652 --> 00:54:09,719
We're in your hometown.

1091
00:54:09,853 --> 00:54:11,087
Let's cross off
some of your spots.

1092
00:54:11,222 --> 00:54:13,990
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
- If it didn't happen here,

1093
00:54:14,125 --> 00:54:15,992
then where did the
deflowering take place?

1094
00:54:16,126 --> 00:54:19,028
If you could please stop referring
to my virginity as a flower?

1095
00:54:19,163 --> 00:54:20,297
Sure.

1096
00:54:20,431 --> 00:54:22,199
All right, where did you
get drunk for the first time

1097
00:54:22,331 --> 00:54:25,135
or buy your first pack of
cigarettes or lit something on fire?

1098
00:54:25,268 --> 00:54:26,971
We are so different.

1099
00:54:27,105 --> 00:54:28,672
Whatever we do,
just get me out of here

1100
00:54:28,806 --> 00:54:31,175
because your parents
scare the shit out of me.

1101
00:54:33,077 --> 00:54:34,678
[Bailey] It's right here
on the right.

1102
00:54:34,811 --> 00:54:35,913
[Darla] Where are we going?

1103
00:54:36,047 --> 00:54:37,347
[Bailey] Yeah,
just right here.

1104
00:54:37,481 --> 00:54:38,816
[Darla] Oh, okay.

1105
00:54:41,152 --> 00:54:43,253
[Bailey] Just right here.
You can stop.

1106
00:54:43,387 --> 00:54:44,756
[Darla] I got it.

1107
00:54:45,688 --> 00:54:47,791
Yep, here it is.
[clears throat]

1108
00:54:47,925 --> 00:54:50,427
This is where
the magic happened.

1109
00:54:50,561 --> 00:54:51,961
This cow pasture?

1110
00:54:52,096 --> 00:54:54,565
No, this is Liz's house.

1111
00:54:54,697 --> 00:54:56,599
Her parents still
live here actually.

1112
00:54:56,733 --> 00:54:59,336
Oh, great.
Let's go.

1113
00:54:59,469 --> 00:55:01,203
What? No.

1114
00:55:01,338 --> 00:55:03,106
No, no!

1115
00:55:03,706 --> 00:55:07,344
What? What are you...
Hey!

1116
00:55:08,445 --> 00:55:10,682
[upbeat music]

1117
00:55:26,931 --> 00:55:28,398
[laughing]
Oh, my God. I know.

1118
00:55:28,532 --> 00:55:29,800
[Darla] Jesus Christ.

1119
00:55:31,268 --> 00:55:33,436
- Is that her?
- Yeah, what are you doing?

1120
00:55:33,570 --> 00:55:34,971
I showed you
my dirty laundry.

1121
00:55:35,105 --> 00:55:36,940
I want to see where
your cherry got popped.

1122
00:55:37,074 --> 00:55:38,842
Well, here it is.
Can we go now?

1123
00:55:39,275 --> 00:55:41,144
No. Okay.

1124
00:55:43,679 --> 00:55:45,348
- Now's our chance.
- For what?

1125
00:55:45,481 --> 00:55:46,583
[Darla] Come on.

1126
00:55:46,717 --> 00:55:47,918
What are you doing?

1127
00:55:48,052 --> 00:55:50,454
- Going inside.
- Don't do it.

1128
00:55:50,588 --> 00:55:51,823
Don't!

1129
00:55:52,722 --> 00:55:55,960
Stop it, stop it.
Stop that.

1130
00:55:59,429 --> 00:56:01,097
Absolutely not.

1131
00:56:01,231 --> 00:56:04,102
Oh. Liz's parents
could be inside.

1132
00:56:04,235 --> 00:56:05,169
Yeah, I know.

1133
00:56:05,302 --> 00:56:06,836
Great, I'll just
ring the doorbell

1134
00:56:06,971 --> 00:56:10,039
and it'll be like "Oh, baby,
what are you doing here

1135
00:56:10,172 --> 00:56:12,108
in the middle of the night
with this gorgeous creature?"

1136
00:56:12,242 --> 00:56:13,376
Is she a Dickens character?

1137
00:56:13,510 --> 00:56:15,213
And you'll be like,
"Oh, hey, Liz's mom.

1138
00:56:15,346 --> 00:56:16,880
- It's just me, Bailey."
- That's supposed to be me?

1139
00:56:17,014 --> 00:56:19,817
"And I'm here to fuck
this amazing creature

1140
00:56:19,949 --> 00:56:21,884
- in your daughter's bed."
- All right, let's just...

1141
00:56:22,018 --> 00:56:23,219
Just a little bit
of this.

1142
00:56:23,353 --> 00:56:25,021
- Stop doing this.
- A little bit of this.

1143
00:56:25,155 --> 00:56:27,258
- Okay, stop doing this.
- Okay.

1144
00:56:27,391 --> 00:56:28,791
All right, fine,
we'll go inside

1145
00:56:28,925 --> 00:56:31,894
and just promise me
you'll be quiet.

1146
00:56:32,028 --> 00:56:34,697
- Yeah, like a little baby mouse.
- Okay.

1147
00:56:34,831 --> 00:56:36,500
[in high-pitched voice]
Very small.

1148
00:56:37,001 --> 00:56:38,302
It's so easy.

1149
00:56:38,434 --> 00:56:39,503
It's too easy.

1150
00:56:39,635 --> 00:56:41,438
No alarm system.

1151
00:56:52,416 --> 00:56:53,918
[Darla whispering]

1152
00:56:54,050 --> 00:56:55,552
Why are you so
low to the ground?

1153
00:56:55,686 --> 00:56:57,555
[Bailey mumbling]

1154
00:56:59,356 --> 00:57:01,592
[Bailey] Right here on the
left, that's where we did it.

1155
00:57:01,724 --> 00:57:02,993
Oh, okay.

1156
00:57:05,829 --> 00:57:08,298
- Oh, my God.
- Shh, shh, shh.

1157
00:57:08,431 --> 00:57:09,899
Holy shit!

1158
00:57:10,034 --> 00:57:13,304
Did you lose your virginity
to someone's nana?

1159
00:57:13,436 --> 00:57:15,605
I remember it as
much less creepy.

1160
00:57:15,739 --> 00:57:17,775
I can't see how
that's possible.

1161
00:57:17,907 --> 00:57:19,275
[sniffs]
What is that smell?

1162
00:57:19,409 --> 00:57:21,144
What, have you never
smelled potpourri before?

1163
00:57:21,278 --> 00:57:23,847
Only in regular doses.
I didn't try to kill anyone with it.

1164
00:57:23,981 --> 00:57:25,183
Ha ha ha.

1165
00:57:26,384 --> 00:57:27,583
- Ah!
- Shh.

1166
00:57:27,717 --> 00:57:29,420
I thought that was going to be
a lot softer than it was.

1167
00:57:29,554 --> 00:57:31,588
Liz's parents are,
like, right next door.

1168
00:57:33,389 --> 00:57:35,759
- Who's this?
- That's Mr. Wizzlebiz.

1169
00:57:35,893 --> 00:57:37,260
- [giggles]
- Leave it alone.

1170
00:57:37,394 --> 00:57:38,429
Sorry.

1171
00:57:40,264 --> 00:57:43,334
- Is this how you did it?
- Wait, wait.

1172
00:57:43,467 --> 00:57:44,768
- What?
- Just stop.

1173
00:57:44,902 --> 00:57:46,003
What?

1174
00:57:46,135 --> 00:57:48,572
If we're gonna
recreate my experience,

1175
00:57:48,704 --> 00:57:50,273
we're gonna do it my way, okay?

1176
00:57:50,974 --> 00:57:52,409
Okay.

1177
00:57:57,079 --> 00:57:59,215
I'll just lay here like Liz
and do nothing.

1178
00:57:59,349 --> 00:58:01,117
Liz didn't just
do nothing, okay?

1179
00:58:01,251 --> 00:58:03,019
Oh, yeah, I'm sure she
was an animal in bed.

1180
00:58:03,152 --> 00:58:06,422
Speaking of which, there are a lot
of animals staring at me right now.

1181
00:58:06,556 --> 00:58:09,359
- Just ignore the wildlife, Liz.
- All right, fine.

1182
00:58:13,731 --> 00:58:14,664
[Darla snorts]

1183
00:58:14,797 --> 00:58:17,033
- Darla.
- [laughs] I'm sorry.

1184
00:58:17,168 --> 00:58:18,536
You're so serious
about this.

1185
00:58:18,668 --> 00:58:19,969
I was serious then.

1186
00:58:20,103 --> 00:58:22,706
I'm sorry, I'm serious.
I'm taking this seriously.

1187
00:58:22,838 --> 00:58:24,474
Trust me, okay?

1188
00:58:35,585 --> 00:58:38,321
[Darla] You suck at this.
Let's do your shirt.

1189
00:58:45,996 --> 00:58:47,932
[sighs]

1190
00:59:03,012 --> 00:59:04,347
Is this okay?

1191
00:59:13,923 --> 00:59:17,961
[gentle music]

1192
01:00:02,539 --> 01:00:03,741
Let's go.

1193
01:00:11,548 --> 01:00:12,382
[Darla] Ow!

1194
01:00:12,516 --> 01:00:13,550
Sorry.

1195
01:00:16,018 --> 01:00:17,420
Go, go, go, go.

1196
01:00:59,762 --> 01:01:00,797
[knob squeaking]

1197
01:01:00,931 --> 01:01:02,733
[shower curtain rattling]

1198
01:01:09,572 --> 01:01:11,408
You know
what I was thinking?

1199
01:01:13,177 --> 01:01:16,614
Maybe we don't have
to go to this thing.

1200
01:01:18,514 --> 01:01:19,949
No.

1201
01:01:20,083 --> 01:01:21,550
I mean, you said
you wanted to go

1202
01:01:21,684 --> 01:01:23,887
and it's gonna be weird,
so fuck it.

1203
01:01:24,021 --> 01:01:24,955
Let's have a good time.

1204
01:01:25,088 --> 01:01:26,389
Right, but let me warn you,

1205
01:01:26,523 --> 01:01:28,858
this is a little bit of
a boring crowd, you know?

1206
01:01:28,992 --> 01:01:30,327
I figured.

1207
01:01:30,460 --> 01:01:32,161
What do you want me to wear
to this little shindig?

1208
01:01:32,295 --> 01:01:34,463
I was gonna ask you to wear something
a little bit more conservative.

1209
01:01:34,597 --> 01:01:37,166
- Gross.
- Yeah, but fuck it, wear what you wanna wear, you know?

1210
01:01:37,300 --> 01:01:38,902
Just go balls-out.

1211
01:01:39,036 --> 01:01:40,237
- Good pun.
- Yeah. Ooh.

1212
01:01:40,369 --> 01:01:42,239
- [Darla] Hitting the shower.
- Okay.

1213
01:02:00,757 --> 01:02:02,492
[car door closes]

1214
01:02:03,260 --> 01:02:05,996
[chattering]

1215
01:02:06,762 --> 01:02:09,398
- So is this a costume party now?
- What?

1216
01:02:09,532 --> 01:02:12,902
Seriously, why did you dress
me up like a pastor's daughter?

1217
01:02:13,036 --> 01:02:14,070
You look fine.

1218
01:02:14,204 --> 01:02:16,373
I look like your
English professor.

1219
01:02:17,440 --> 01:02:19,342
Don't be silly, come on.

1220
01:02:20,409 --> 01:02:22,178
[Darla] Why is
this house so big?

1221
01:02:22,311 --> 01:02:24,014
[Bailey] Because
people live in it.

1222
01:02:24,146 --> 01:02:26,884
[music plays]

1223
01:02:29,652 --> 01:02:31,487
Hello, darling.

1224
01:02:31,621 --> 01:02:34,389
[kisses] How are you?
We brought a gift.

1225
01:02:34,523 --> 01:02:35,925
- Thank you.
- Congratulations.

1226
01:02:36,059 --> 01:02:38,094
Congratulations.
Oh, of course.

1227
01:02:38,829 --> 01:02:41,832
Hi. Congratulations,
nice to see you.

1228
01:02:41,965 --> 01:02:43,367
Thank you.

1229
01:02:45,001 --> 01:02:47,637
So this is what it looks
like in broad daylight.

1230
01:02:55,646 --> 01:02:57,581
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.

1231
01:03:00,583 --> 01:03:01,884
Here.

1232
01:03:02,018 --> 01:03:03,586
Thanks.

1233
01:03:03,719 --> 01:03:06,088
She's not gonna jump
out of the fucking cake.

1234
01:03:06,222 --> 01:03:07,657
- Who?
- Who?

1235
01:03:07,791 --> 01:03:09,026
Really subtle.

1236
01:03:09,159 --> 01:03:11,394
You're giving me whiplash.

1237
01:03:13,295 --> 01:03:15,398
I thought we were
gonna have fun.

1238
01:03:17,067 --> 01:03:18,534
What is going on
with you?

1239
01:03:18,668 --> 01:03:21,038
What's going on
with you, hm?

1240
01:03:21,170 --> 01:03:22,605
How's therapy lately?

1241
01:03:23,340 --> 01:03:25,909
Sure are journaling
a lot recently.

1242
01:03:26,041 --> 01:03:27,277
It's fine.

1243
01:03:27,710 --> 01:03:28,644
It's fine.

1244
01:03:28,777 --> 01:03:29,745
[women laughing]

1245
01:03:29,880 --> 01:03:32,816
[woman] Did your mom
pick out your outfit?

1246
01:03:34,985 --> 01:03:36,186
What the fuck
are you doing?

1247
01:03:36,320 --> 01:03:37,653
Bailey.

1248
01:03:38,422 --> 01:03:40,389
Hey, Liz.
Didn't even see you there.

1249
01:03:40,523 --> 01:03:43,425
Yeah, I was surprised to
hear you're back in town.

1250
01:03:43,559 --> 01:03:46,262
[Bailey] Yeah,
just passing through.

1251
01:03:46,829 --> 01:03:47,864
From Atlanta?

1252
01:03:47,998 --> 01:03:51,001
Yeah, just you know,
had to get some time away

1253
01:03:51,134 --> 01:03:52,568
to reassess things.

1254
01:03:52,702 --> 01:03:55,771
Some time apart kinda
helped me to put things

1255
01:03:55,905 --> 01:03:57,140
back into perspective.

1256
01:03:57,273 --> 01:03:59,108
Wow, you've done
all this growth in,

1257
01:03:59,242 --> 01:04:00,811
like, the past two weeks?

1258
01:04:00,945 --> 01:04:02,979
Yeah.
Amazing, isn't it?

1259
01:04:03,780 --> 01:04:05,949
How about you?
What've you been up to?

1260
01:04:06,083 --> 01:04:07,483
Oh, you know, the usual.

1261
01:04:07,617 --> 01:04:10,653
Just trying to temper my
parents' absurd expectations.

1262
01:04:10,788 --> 01:04:11,755
Tell me about it.

1263
01:04:11,889 --> 01:04:15,057
And I think we got
robbed last night.

1264
01:04:15,190 --> 01:04:16,326
- What?
- Yeah.

1265
01:04:16,460 --> 01:04:18,929
I'm not sure
because nothing was stolen,

1266
01:04:19,061 --> 01:04:21,597
but clearly someone had,
like, snooped in my room.

1267
01:04:21,731 --> 01:04:23,534
I don't know what kind
of weirdo would do that.

1268
01:04:23,666 --> 01:04:25,469
Hi, I'm Darla, by the way.

1269
01:04:25,601 --> 01:04:27,737
- Oh, yes, this is Darla...
- Yeah.

1270
01:04:27,871 --> 01:04:29,072
...my girlfriend.

1271
01:04:29,204 --> 01:04:31,807
Yeah, I heard you guys had
been dating for a few months.

1272
01:04:31,942 --> 01:04:34,210
- I don't know how I missed that.
- [chuckles]

1273
01:04:34,344 --> 01:04:37,548
You look so much
prettier in person.

1274
01:04:39,849 --> 01:04:40,884
I'm sorry, what?

1275
01:04:41,018 --> 01:04:42,885
Well, I've seen Bailey's
posts about you guys.

1276
01:04:43,018 --> 01:04:45,654
- Posts, what posts?
- [laughs] Isn't she funny?

1277
01:04:45,788 --> 01:04:49,192
Well, I'm so happy
for you, Bails.

1278
01:04:49,326 --> 01:04:50,760
Seems like you're
doing really well.

1279
01:04:50,893 --> 01:04:53,195
Well, you know, I guess
I have you to thank.

1280
01:04:53,329 --> 01:04:55,565
I mean, if we didn't
have that talk,

1281
01:04:55,697 --> 01:04:58,100
who knows, maybe I never
would have met Darla here.

1282
01:04:58,235 --> 01:05:00,037
- Mm.
- Ow.

1283
01:05:00,170 --> 01:05:01,371
- You okay, babe?
- Yeah, babe.

1284
01:05:01,505 --> 01:05:03,206
You're squeezing me
like a fucking bird.

1285
01:05:03,340 --> 01:05:06,110
Sorry. Just can't seem to keep my
hands off this one when she's around.

1286
01:05:06,242 --> 01:05:08,344
Mm! Oh, wow.
Can we talk for a second?

1287
01:05:08,478 --> 01:05:09,346
- Mm-hmm.
- Be right back.

1288
01:05:09,480 --> 01:05:10,581
[Liz] Okay.

1289
01:05:14,851 --> 01:05:16,585
- What the fuck are you doing?
- What do you mean?

1290
01:05:16,719 --> 01:05:18,588
Are you seriously posting pictures
of us to make her jealous?

1291
01:05:18,722 --> 01:05:20,157
Hey, Bailey,
is everything okay?

1292
01:05:20,289 --> 01:05:21,423
Take a seat, Jumpsuit.

1293
01:05:21,556 --> 01:05:23,292
Do not be rude to her.

1294
01:05:23,425 --> 01:05:24,728
You don't talk to her
like that.

1295
01:05:24,860 --> 01:05:27,297
- Seriously?
- Keep your voice down.

1296
01:05:27,996 --> 01:05:29,500
Who are you right now?

1297
01:05:30,333 --> 01:05:31,934
I read your blog.

1298
01:05:33,369 --> 01:05:34,636
- What blog?
- What blog?

1299
01:05:34,771 --> 01:05:36,306
It's on the fucking Internet.

1300
01:05:36,438 --> 01:05:38,707
Did you really think
I wasn't gonna find it?

1301
01:05:38,842 --> 01:05:40,744
Well, you know what,
I'm glad I did.

1302
01:05:40,878 --> 01:05:42,913
Otherwise I never would've known that
this whole thing's a fucking lie.

1303
01:05:43,045 --> 01:05:45,014
You're just using me to be
the john in your sex column.

1304
01:05:45,148 --> 01:05:47,884
My favorite piece, I think,
was the chef's one.

1305
01:05:48,018 --> 01:05:49,519
Yeah, real clever title.

1306
01:05:49,652 --> 01:05:51,353
Uh, "Eating Out?"

1307
01:05:51,487 --> 01:05:52,856
Ew... scholarly.

1308
01:05:52,989 --> 01:05:55,159
So what? I write about sex.
I told you I was a writer.

1309
01:05:55,291 --> 01:05:59,195
Yeah, but I thought you meant like
novels and stuff, like not like smut.

1310
01:05:59,329 --> 01:06:00,396
You could have googled me,
that's on you.

1311
01:06:00,530 --> 01:06:02,766
You know,
my cancer is private.

1312
01:06:02,898 --> 01:06:05,868
- As is my sex life.
- What sex life?

1313
01:06:06,001 --> 01:06:07,371
I am your sex life,

1314
01:06:07,503 --> 01:06:09,905
which obviously you were just
using to fix your broken libido.

1315
01:06:10,039 --> 01:06:11,674
You didn't make it
difficult on me, did you?

1316
01:06:11,807 --> 01:06:13,744
Which hasn't been a problem
for you up until now, has it?

1317
01:06:13,876 --> 01:06:16,447
That was before I knew
I was dealing with a sl...

1318
01:06:19,717 --> 01:06:21,018
What?

1319
01:06:22,152 --> 01:06:23,787
Go ahead and say it.

1320
01:06:25,121 --> 01:06:26,456
Call me a slut.

1321
01:06:29,393 --> 01:06:30,894
I didn't have to.

1322
01:06:34,364 --> 01:06:35,833
Bailey?

1323
01:06:39,668 --> 01:06:42,105
You gonna tell them
or should I?

1324
01:06:45,340 --> 01:06:47,043
Wow.

1325
01:06:47,177 --> 01:06:51,047
You're not gonna tell them.
[clears throat] You're pathetic.

1326
01:06:51,181 --> 01:06:53,682
You're fucking miserable,
you have a miserable job,

1327
01:06:53,817 --> 01:06:55,217
your life is going nowhere,

1328
01:06:55,351 --> 01:06:57,521
and you're chasing some
Southern Living fantasy and why?

1329
01:06:57,653 --> 01:06:59,222
She doesn't even want you

1330
01:06:59,355 --> 01:07:01,791
because she already knows what's
so obvious to the both of us

1331
01:07:01,925 --> 01:07:05,496
that no matter what is in your
pants, you'll never be a real man.

1332
01:07:08,965 --> 01:07:11,501
At least I know what it
feels like to be loved.

1333
01:07:13,202 --> 01:07:14,471
Got it.

1334
01:07:16,206 --> 01:07:19,410
Enjoy the rest of your party
with your real girlfriend.

1335
01:07:23,679 --> 01:07:25,915
[guests murmuring]

1336
01:07:28,050 --> 01:07:30,086
[calm music]

1337
01:07:45,068 --> 01:07:46,637
[engine stalls]

1338
01:07:50,574 --> 01:07:51,974
- [engine stalls]
- Come on!

1339
01:07:52,108 --> 01:07:54,211
[engine starts]

1340
01:08:32,981 --> 01:08:34,384
Whatever you're
looking for in there,

1341
01:08:34,516 --> 01:08:38,154
it's probably easier to find
it if the glass were empty.

1342
01:08:47,497 --> 01:08:49,700
[car creaking]

1343
01:08:50,132 --> 01:08:53,670
[moaning]

1344
01:09:00,676 --> 01:09:02,078
[sighs]

1345
01:09:03,279 --> 01:09:04,681
[chuckles]

1346
01:09:06,382 --> 01:09:07,917
[sighs]

1347
01:09:11,186 --> 01:09:12,622
Something wrong?

1348
01:09:15,557 --> 01:09:16,993
Get out.

1349
01:09:19,328 --> 01:09:20,663
I said get out!

1350
01:09:20,796 --> 01:09:22,164
- Jesus.
- Get the fuck out!

1351
01:09:22,298 --> 01:09:23,833
Jesus.

1352
01:09:28,503 --> 01:09:30,306
[sobbing]

1353
01:10:00,036 --> 01:10:01,305
[knocking]

1354
01:10:04,340 --> 01:10:05,576
Hey.

1355
01:10:06,475 --> 01:10:07,643
Mind if I join you?

1356
01:10:08,944 --> 01:10:12,514
Well, I can't promise I'm not gonna
do something else wildly embarrassing.

1357
01:10:12,649 --> 01:10:15,185
Oh, I was hoping you would.

1358
01:10:17,886 --> 01:10:20,090
Hungry? Your mom said
you haven't eaten yet.

1359
01:10:20,222 --> 01:10:22,525
Oh, so you came here
to feed me?

1360
01:10:22,658 --> 01:10:24,826
I just wanted to
check in on you.

1361
01:10:24,961 --> 01:10:26,997
Am I still allowed to do that?

1362
01:10:34,270 --> 01:10:37,740
So, um... what was your
deal with her anyway?

1363
01:10:37,873 --> 01:10:40,810
Were you guys like
actually dating or?

1364
01:10:40,944 --> 01:10:44,080
I kinda started to
think that we... No.

1365
01:10:44,213 --> 01:10:47,083
Uh, it was stupid.

1366
01:10:50,019 --> 01:10:52,121
I mean, I understand.

1367
01:10:52,255 --> 01:10:57,292
It makes sense that you wanna have
fun with someone who isn't me.

1368
01:10:57,426 --> 01:11:00,998
I guess I just didn't expect you
to go all the way off the deep end.

1369
01:11:02,966 --> 01:11:05,635
Oh, come on.
Things aren't that bad.

1370
01:11:05,769 --> 01:11:08,503
I mean, yes, they didn't
turn out as expected,

1371
01:11:08,637 --> 01:11:11,375
but... we're still here.

1372
01:11:11,507 --> 01:11:16,880
If teenage me knew that 30 me would
still be sitting at this desk,

1373
01:11:17,980 --> 01:11:20,215
you know, just hiding out
in this room,

1374
01:11:21,184 --> 01:11:24,588
just as unsure about what
I want to do with my life

1375
01:11:24,720 --> 01:11:26,422
as like I was ever.

1376
01:11:27,756 --> 01:11:29,324
I don't know.

1377
01:11:29,458 --> 01:11:32,162
Maybe I would have
done stuff differently.

1378
01:11:32,796 --> 01:11:34,530
Don't be so hard on yourself.

1379
01:11:34,663 --> 01:11:37,266
You know, you've
gone through a lot.

1380
01:11:38,301 --> 01:11:41,304
Look, I know
that I shut you out

1381
01:11:41,436 --> 01:11:43,673
and I'm sorry about that.

1382
01:11:49,444 --> 01:11:52,381
I thought some time apart
for us would be good.

1383
01:11:53,483 --> 01:11:57,253
You know, we haven't
had that, like, ever.

1384
01:11:58,988 --> 01:12:00,856
And I wanted to talk
to you about this stuff

1385
01:12:00,990 --> 01:12:05,362
but then you got sick
and you needed me.

1386
01:12:06,162 --> 01:12:08,730
You know, I've always
taken care of you,

1387
01:12:08,864 --> 01:12:13,502
but I don't even know
who I am outside of us.

1388
01:12:13,636 --> 01:12:14,904
You know?

1389
01:12:15,604 --> 01:12:17,172
I wanted to date to make sure

1390
01:12:17,306 --> 01:12:19,541
that we were making
the right decision.

1391
01:12:20,176 --> 01:12:23,379
And I admit, it's selfish,

1392
01:12:23,512 --> 01:12:28,150
but being here with our
totally crazy parents

1393
01:12:28,283 --> 01:12:32,054
and seeing you go through
this all on your own...

1394
01:12:33,689 --> 01:12:35,057
I don't know.

1395
01:12:36,591 --> 01:12:38,394
I still love you, Bailey.

1396
01:12:41,564 --> 01:12:43,298
I found another lump.

1397
01:12:44,300 --> 01:12:48,171
- Wait, what?
- It's small, but I had some tests.

1398
01:12:50,372 --> 01:12:51,841
Yeah.

1399
01:12:51,975 --> 01:12:56,980
They caught it early
and they have to remove it.

1400
01:12:57,113 --> 01:12:59,282
Like, the rest of it.

1401
01:13:02,685 --> 01:13:05,688
Well, if it's that serious,
then you shouldn't be here.

1402
01:13:05,822 --> 01:13:07,989
You should be getting
the procedure.

1403
01:13:08,123 --> 01:13:09,759
- I mean, what if it's...
- I know.

1404
01:13:09,891 --> 01:13:11,127
I just...

1405
01:13:13,128 --> 01:13:15,297
I need time to process it.

1406
01:13:16,365 --> 01:13:17,399
Okay.

1407
01:13:18,533 --> 01:13:19,802
Do your parents know?

1408
01:13:20,369 --> 01:13:22,939
No. [sighs]

1409
01:13:23,073 --> 01:13:25,008
They don't need that again.

1410
01:13:27,076 --> 01:13:30,279
Well, we'll figure
this out, okay?

1411
01:13:33,682 --> 01:13:35,819
[car rattling]

1412
01:13:52,568 --> 01:13:54,871
[door squeaking]

1413
01:14:04,646 --> 01:14:06,015
[sighs]

1414
01:14:16,559 --> 01:14:18,829
[low chattering]

1415
01:14:30,506 --> 01:14:32,976
[radio playing]

1416
01:14:39,114 --> 01:14:41,483
[woman] I like the
horsepower underneath.

1417
01:14:41,617 --> 01:14:43,220
[laughs] No pun intended.

1418
01:14:44,453 --> 01:14:45,488
Mom?

1419
01:14:47,256 --> 01:14:49,592
[woman laughs] Stop it.

1420
01:14:53,462 --> 01:14:54,331
Mom.

1421
01:14:54,463 --> 01:14:56,332
[gasps] Little bean!

1422
01:14:56,466 --> 01:14:57,534
You made it!

1423
01:14:57,667 --> 01:14:59,702
[laughing]
Oh, my God!

1424
01:14:59,835 --> 01:15:02,104
- [kisses]
- You okay?

1425
01:15:02,238 --> 01:15:04,007
You must be starving,
come join us.

1426
01:15:04,140 --> 01:15:06,375
I'm okay.
Who's this?

1427
01:15:06,509 --> 01:15:09,979
Bill was helping me
paint the porch yesterday.

1428
01:15:10,112 --> 01:15:13,917
I invited him to stay over so we
could get to know each other better.

1429
01:15:14,050 --> 01:15:16,185
You don't need any help
painting the porch, Mom.

1430
01:15:16,319 --> 01:15:18,387
Sit, sit!
Is it just you?

1431
01:15:18,520 --> 01:15:22,358
Where is that stud you've been
dragging across the country?

1432
01:15:22,492 --> 01:15:25,327
I've been reading about
you two's shenanigans.

1433
01:15:25,461 --> 01:15:29,365
- Yeah, that wasn't a thing.
- Well, never is.

1434
01:15:30,065 --> 01:15:31,199
Bill and I are
going out tonight.

1435
01:15:31,333 --> 01:15:33,501
You totally have to
tear it up with us.

1436
01:15:33,636 --> 01:15:37,106
No, I have a lot of work to do and
I'm not gonna be here very long, so.

1437
01:15:37,238 --> 01:15:39,140
[sighs] Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh.

1438
01:15:39,274 --> 01:15:40,710
You do not get to be a drag.

1439
01:15:40,842 --> 01:15:43,244
No, I'm just
gonna go to my room.

1440
01:15:43,378 --> 01:15:46,515
No, come on,
come out with us!

1441
01:15:46,649 --> 01:15:48,018
He doesn't bite.

1442
01:15:48,585 --> 01:15:49,618
Hard.

1443
01:15:54,524 --> 01:15:55,992
So what time do
you two fly out?

1444
01:15:56,125 --> 01:15:57,327
[Liz] 10:00 a.m. tomorrow.

1445
01:15:57,460 --> 01:15:59,095
And thank you again
for getting Bailey and I

1446
01:15:59,229 --> 01:16:00,896
on the same flight,
that was very nice of you.

1447
01:16:01,029 --> 01:16:02,064
You're welcome.

1448
01:16:02,198 --> 01:16:03,500
Yeah, I just think
it's a good idea

1449
01:16:03,632 --> 01:16:05,635
for Bailey not to
be alone right now.

1450
01:16:07,136 --> 01:16:08,304
Is everything
all right, Bailey?

1451
01:16:08,438 --> 01:16:10,271
Yeah, no, everything's fine.

1452
01:16:10,405 --> 01:16:11,873
Are you sure
everything's fine?

1453
01:16:12,007 --> 01:16:13,175
Mm-hmm.

1454
01:16:14,042 --> 01:16:15,577
- Liz?
- Well...

1455
01:16:15,711 --> 01:16:16,913
Don't ask her.

1456
01:16:17,046 --> 01:16:18,949
I said everything's fine, okay?

1457
01:16:19,548 --> 01:16:21,083
Okay.

1458
01:16:22,351 --> 01:16:26,021
I just meant that we're
all here for you right now,

1459
01:16:26,155 --> 01:16:27,055
to help you.

1460
01:16:27,189 --> 01:16:29,325
- Are you?
- Yes.

1461
01:16:29,457 --> 01:16:33,295
And when we go home, I'm gonna
be there to support you.

1462
01:16:33,796 --> 01:16:36,066
With what exactly?

1463
01:16:39,368 --> 01:16:41,603
Don't you think
we should tell them?

1464
01:16:41,738 --> 01:16:43,239
[Bailey's mom] Tell us what?

1465
01:16:45,807 --> 01:16:47,476
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...

1466
01:16:49,244 --> 01:16:50,912
Bailey found another lump

1467
01:16:51,046 --> 01:16:53,315
and the doctor said
that it's cancerous.

1468
01:16:53,448 --> 01:16:56,318
What?
How can that be?

1469
01:16:56,452 --> 01:16:58,186
I thought they
replaced, you know.

1470
01:16:58,320 --> 01:17:00,288
I mean, it's not
the same testicle, Mom.

1471
01:17:00,422 --> 01:17:01,289
Honey.

1472
01:17:01,422 --> 01:17:03,059
You said that
everything was fine.

1473
01:17:03,192 --> 01:17:04,525
'Cause everything is fine.

1474
01:17:04,659 --> 01:17:06,761
Ron, we're going back
to Atlanta with him.

1475
01:17:06,895 --> 01:17:09,733
He needs us to take care of
him, Liz can't do that on...

1476
01:17:09,865 --> 01:17:12,101
No one needs to
take care of me!

1477
01:17:13,636 --> 01:17:17,606
Look, I didn't ask for help
because I don't need help.

1478
01:17:18,507 --> 01:17:22,711
And frankly, Liz,
that wasn't yours to share.

1479
01:17:27,949 --> 01:17:29,217
You're right.

1480
01:17:29,351 --> 01:17:31,587
I'm... I'm sorry.

1481
01:17:32,854 --> 01:17:36,425
I just, you know, I haven't
been there for you recently

1482
01:17:36,559 --> 01:17:40,063
and I... I didn't want to
mess that up again.

1483
01:17:42,097 --> 01:17:43,966
[Bailey's mom sniffles]

1484
01:17:44,100 --> 01:17:45,868
[Bailey's mom]
Everything'll be fine.

1485
01:17:46,002 --> 01:17:47,771
[sighs]

1486
01:17:53,943 --> 01:17:55,211
Mom?

1487
01:18:40,922 --> 01:18:42,524
[sniffles]

1488
01:18:45,860 --> 01:18:47,229
[clears throat]

1489
01:18:53,569 --> 01:18:56,306
[sighs]

1490
01:19:25,635 --> 01:19:27,704
[gentle music]

1491
01:20:07,710 --> 01:20:10,880
[chattering]

1492
01:20:19,988 --> 01:20:22,824
[door opens, closes]

1493
01:20:56,059 --> 01:20:57,293
Little bean.

1494
01:20:57,426 --> 01:21:00,528
[laughs]
What are you doing up?

1495
01:21:00,662 --> 01:21:02,297
Where you been all day?

1496
01:21:02,430 --> 01:21:04,600
What are you,
my parole officer?

1497
01:21:05,300 --> 01:21:06,302
[chuckles]

1498
01:21:06,435 --> 01:21:09,205
I'm leaving tomorrow,
remember?

1499
01:21:09,337 --> 01:21:10,672
Oh, yeah.
Right.

1500
01:21:10,806 --> 01:21:15,211
[sniffs]
Um, if you're flying,

1501
01:21:15,345 --> 01:21:18,548
you need to tow that eyesore
off my curb first.

1502
01:21:19,614 --> 01:21:23,351
I was hoping that you
would help me fix it.

1503
01:21:23,485 --> 01:21:26,722
Well, I do know my way
around an engine.

1504
01:21:27,922 --> 01:21:30,559
- You gonna be up that early?
- Yeah, probably not.

1505
01:21:32,327 --> 01:21:34,631
Just call the guys
down at Mario's.

1506
01:21:37,099 --> 01:21:38,501
Yeah, right, okay.

1507
01:21:40,403 --> 01:21:43,338
- What?
- Nothing.

1508
01:21:46,108 --> 01:21:47,943
[sniffs] What's wrong now?

1509
01:21:48,077 --> 01:21:52,079
I thought that...
I don't know what I thought.

1510
01:21:52,213 --> 01:21:53,515
I, um...

1511
01:21:54,850 --> 01:21:57,453
I just haven't been
home in a while.

1512
01:21:58,052 --> 01:21:59,721
Whose fault is that?

1513
01:22:02,091 --> 01:22:03,393
Mom.

1514
01:22:04,292 --> 01:22:07,162
[sighs] This sucks.

1515
01:22:07,930 --> 01:22:13,302
Mom, um... I know
that I'm not easy...

1516
01:22:14,703 --> 01:22:17,507
- and you're not easy either.
- Jesus.

1517
01:22:18,373 --> 01:22:20,274
But I know
that's not your fault

1518
01:22:20,408 --> 01:22:25,547
and I think... [clears throat]

1519
01:22:25,680 --> 01:22:29,284
there might be something
wrong with me.

1520
01:22:30,118 --> 01:22:32,621
And I don't really
understand what it is...

1521
01:22:35,257 --> 01:22:37,693
but I think I might
have a problem.

1522
01:22:39,194 --> 01:22:41,797
Honey, we all have problems.

1523
01:22:42,597 --> 01:22:44,500
No, Mom. Um...

1524
01:22:45,634 --> 01:22:48,538
I've been going to
this group lately, this...

1525
01:22:49,604 --> 01:22:51,406
At first I didn't even
take it seriously

1526
01:22:51,541 --> 01:22:53,042
and I thought it was stupid.

1527
01:22:54,443 --> 01:22:56,713
But I think that maybe...

1528
01:22:59,215 --> 01:23:02,051
and I think that you should
find something similar.

1529
01:23:02,952 --> 01:23:07,957
It's for addicts.
It's for sex and love addicts.

1530
01:23:11,292 --> 01:23:14,863
[sighs]

1531
01:23:15,497 --> 01:23:17,400
Honey. [clears throat]

1532
01:23:18,434 --> 01:23:22,237
Those groups are
for men making excuses

1533
01:23:22,371 --> 01:23:26,742
about philandering
and shaming women

1534
01:23:26,875 --> 01:23:29,112
for being just as
sexual as they are.

1535
01:23:30,679 --> 01:23:33,582
But you are a liberated woman

1536
01:23:33,716 --> 01:23:36,485
and you don't care
what people think

1537
01:23:36,618 --> 01:23:40,287
and you are not
ashamed of what you do.

1538
01:23:40,421 --> 01:23:46,060
And that's... That is one of the
things I love most about you.

1539
01:23:46,828 --> 01:23:48,965
Probably because
I taught it to you.

1540
01:23:51,199 --> 01:23:52,902
That's not me.

1541
01:23:53,903 --> 01:23:55,738
Since when?

1542
01:23:59,507 --> 01:24:00,909
Good night, Mom.

1543
01:24:02,345 --> 01:24:05,047
[slow music]

1544
01:24:54,930 --> 01:24:57,066
Hey, Liz, what's
your porn star name?

1545
01:24:57,199 --> 01:24:58,367
What?

1546
01:24:58,501 --> 01:24:59,868
You know, like,
the name of your first pet

1547
01:25:00,002 --> 01:25:01,203
and the street
you grew up on?

1548
01:25:01,336 --> 01:25:02,538
Why would you ask me that?

1549
01:25:02,671 --> 01:25:04,405
It's a game. It's fun.

1550
01:25:04,539 --> 01:25:07,210
It's not funny, Bailey.
It's just weird.

1551
01:25:10,679 --> 01:25:11,646
What are you doing?

1552
01:25:11,779 --> 01:25:13,648
Our Uber's here, let's go.

1553
01:25:16,784 --> 01:25:18,753
I'm not going with you.

1554
01:25:19,453 --> 01:25:20,989
What, why?

1555
01:25:23,391 --> 01:25:25,260
Liz, I missed you.

1556
01:25:25,394 --> 01:25:29,164
Like, hanging out this
weekend with our parents,

1557
01:25:29,296 --> 01:25:30,899
I miss that too.

1558
01:25:32,333 --> 01:25:34,603
But... it kinda sucked.

1559
01:25:34,735 --> 01:25:37,006
You know, like all of it.

1560
01:25:38,073 --> 01:25:39,708
Um, okay.

1561
01:25:40,909 --> 01:25:43,677
Liz, when you left,
I thought it was because I had cancer.

1562
01:25:43,811 --> 01:25:47,048
Like, me getting sick
had broken us down,

1563
01:25:47,181 --> 01:25:49,952
[stammering] maybe like you
weren't attracted to me?

1564
01:25:50,519 --> 01:25:53,556
But I understand.

1565
01:25:54,855 --> 01:25:58,460
I don't wanna be together
just because it's easier

1566
01:25:58,594 --> 01:26:01,096
than being alone,
you know, like...

1567
01:26:01,229 --> 01:26:05,000
So you just don't want
to be with me anymore.

1568
01:26:05,801 --> 01:26:08,604
I mean, did we
get back together?

1569
01:26:09,171 --> 01:26:10,305
I thought so.

1570
01:26:10,439 --> 01:26:12,108
I mean, I want to.

1571
01:26:13,274 --> 01:26:14,576
Do you?

1572
01:26:15,645 --> 01:26:17,045
Yeah.

1573
01:26:17,179 --> 01:26:18,547
Yeah, I think so.

1574
01:26:18,680 --> 01:26:23,418
Liz, I think what we want
is the idea of us.

1575
01:26:23,551 --> 01:26:26,322
But we're not those
same kids anymore

1576
01:26:28,090 --> 01:26:29,625
and that's okay.

1577
01:26:33,930 --> 01:26:35,864
Are you sure that
this is what you want,

1578
01:26:35,997 --> 01:26:39,034
with everything that's going on?

1579
01:26:39,167 --> 01:26:40,235
Yeah.

1580
01:26:43,271 --> 01:26:45,307
[gentle music]

1581
01:26:50,444 --> 01:26:53,514
Does this mean that you're gonna
stop stalking me on Instagram?

1582
01:26:53,648 --> 01:26:55,217
[both laughing]

1583
01:26:55,350 --> 01:26:56,652
- I'll cut back.
- Yeah?

1584
01:26:56,784 --> 01:26:58,252
- I'll cut back on it.
- You gotta slowly wean it away.

1585
01:26:58,386 --> 01:27:00,454
- Yeah, exactly.
- We have to walk to the same spot,

1586
01:27:00,588 --> 01:27:01,690
so you can just bring my bags.

1587
01:27:01,823 --> 01:27:03,458
- All right, that's a deal.
- Yeah.

1588
01:27:03,591 --> 01:27:06,094
Yeah, I'm not gonna cold turkey
stop Instagram stalking you.

1589
01:27:06,228 --> 01:27:09,198
[Liz] No, I mean, of course not,
my pics are lit. Why would you?

1590
01:27:09,332 --> 01:27:12,401
You can see what
orange wine guy's up to.

1591
01:27:12,533 --> 01:27:14,302
- Oh.
- Is his name like Arman?

1592
01:27:14,435 --> 01:27:17,305
[Liz laughs] It is Arman!

1593
01:27:20,408 --> 01:27:22,644
[engine stalling]

1594
01:27:27,483 --> 01:27:28,818
[metal clinks]

1595
01:27:49,904 --> 01:27:51,139
What are you doing?

1596
01:27:52,640 --> 01:27:55,978
If I were you,
I would junk this thing

1597
01:27:56,110 --> 01:27:58,648
for whatever scraps
are still worth a damn.

1598
01:28:02,384 --> 01:28:06,721
It still might get you home,
if that's where you're headed.

1599
01:28:06,854 --> 01:28:10,358
Yeah, I don't know
where I'm headed anymore.

1600
01:28:12,961 --> 01:28:15,297
Yeah, I've heard that before.

1601
01:28:17,699 --> 01:28:19,335
You know, I was thinking...

1602
01:28:20,301 --> 01:28:22,270
the funny thing
about being a mom

1603
01:28:22,404 --> 01:28:25,774
is whenever something new
happens with your kid,

1604
01:28:25,908 --> 01:28:27,843
it's your first
chance to figure out

1605
01:28:27,975 --> 01:28:29,978
what the hell you're
supposed to do about it.

1606
01:28:30,112 --> 01:28:33,349
And when you only have one...

1607
01:28:34,783 --> 01:28:37,086
you only get one chance.

1608
01:28:40,890 --> 01:28:43,659
I know you got places to go,

1609
01:28:43,792 --> 01:28:47,562
but I could make us
some breakfast

1610
01:28:47,695 --> 01:28:49,864
if you're not in
too much of a hurry.

1611
01:28:53,502 --> 01:28:55,905
Yeah. I'd like that.

1612
01:28:58,573 --> 01:28:59,741
Okay.

1613
01:29:00,341 --> 01:29:02,377
[gentle music]

1614
01:29:43,118 --> 01:29:45,988
She said she didn't
want to burden me with it

1615
01:29:46,121 --> 01:29:48,457
because my operation
had gone well

1616
01:29:48,590 --> 01:29:51,426
and my cell count had improved.

1617
01:29:51,559 --> 01:29:55,131
I mean, she was there by my side
throughout all of this.

1618
01:29:56,730 --> 01:30:00,268
So I just don't understand
why she would hide it from me.

1619
01:30:01,502 --> 01:30:02,938
I'm sorry.

1620
01:30:03,072 --> 01:30:05,974
Everyone has a different way
of processing their diagnosis.

1621
01:30:06,108 --> 01:30:08,743
But the important thing
is that we're patient.

1622
01:30:09,743 --> 01:30:12,148
Does anyone else have anything
they want to add to that?

1623
01:30:13,747 --> 01:30:16,050
Molly, would you like to share?

1624
01:30:17,386 --> 01:30:19,054
I do.

1625
01:30:19,186 --> 01:30:21,789
As in, I think I have
something to add to that.

1626
01:30:21,922 --> 01:30:23,192
[woman] Okay.

1627
01:30:23,324 --> 01:30:24,659
And I'm definitely in
the right room this time,

1628
01:30:24,792 --> 01:30:27,695
I know that,
and I'm definitely sober.

1629
01:30:27,828 --> 01:30:29,230
I think. Yes.

1630
01:30:29,364 --> 01:30:31,733
Um, it's just that Molly's
been waiting for a while.

1631
01:30:31,865 --> 01:30:33,969
Is it okay if Bailey goes first?

1632
01:30:34,103 --> 01:30:35,737
Clearly I have all
the time in the world.

1633
01:30:35,871 --> 01:30:39,275
Yeah, great. If that's okay
with, I mean, I'll be so quick.

1634
01:30:40,007 --> 01:30:41,844
Okay, thank you.

1635
01:30:43,944 --> 01:30:45,212
Hi, everyone.

1636
01:30:46,280 --> 01:30:50,952
Uh, I guess I've been so
reluctant to share recently...

1637
01:30:53,354 --> 01:30:56,357
because I've been scared,
you know.

1638
01:30:56,490 --> 01:31:00,561
Even with something not
as life-threatening as TC,

1639
01:31:00,694 --> 01:31:04,032
I've been afraid to, like,
face a second diagnosis.

1640
01:31:04,166 --> 01:31:06,134
Which I guess is why
a couple weeks ago,

1641
01:31:06,266 --> 01:31:08,670
I went on this crazy road trip.

1642
01:31:08,804 --> 01:31:11,907
I don't know, maybe I was
trying to distract myself

1643
01:31:12,039 --> 01:31:14,609
from, like, all this, you know.

1644
01:31:15,877 --> 01:31:19,414
But the person that
I end up going with,

1645
01:31:20,216 --> 01:31:24,653
she turned out to
be really cool. Yeah.

1646
01:31:25,220 --> 01:31:28,557
She wasn't grossed out...

1647
01:31:29,625 --> 01:31:35,063
and [stammering] she wasn't
even like sympathetic, you know?

1648
01:31:35,195 --> 01:31:38,567
Like she just made
me feel normal.

1649
01:31:39,768 --> 01:31:45,340
And... I used her, you know?

1650
01:31:46,073 --> 01:31:49,043
And like an asshole,
I shamed her.

1651
01:31:50,478 --> 01:31:54,416
She made me feel better
and I screwed it up.

1652
01:31:57,019 --> 01:32:00,822
So tomorrow is my
second orchiectomy

1653
01:32:00,956 --> 01:32:03,659
and I feel like shit about it.

1654
01:32:06,094 --> 01:32:08,096
And I'm still terrified.

1655
01:32:10,198 --> 01:32:15,404
But also, I feel...
like I can handle it.

1656
01:32:16,871 --> 01:32:17,873
[counselor]
Thank you for sharing.

1657
01:32:18,006 --> 01:32:19,841
And I bet if you
told your friend

1658
01:32:19,975 --> 01:32:21,410
what you just shared with us,

1659
01:32:21,542 --> 01:32:23,144
the two of you
could work it out.

1660
01:32:23,278 --> 01:32:26,181
Molly, thank you
for being so patient.

1661
01:32:26,314 --> 01:32:28,517
- Would you like to share now?
- Sure.

1662
01:32:28,649 --> 01:32:30,618
Uh, basically I've just
been feeling like...

1663
01:32:30,752 --> 01:32:32,987
- Actually, can I jump in here?
- [Molly] Seriously?

1664
01:32:33,121 --> 01:32:34,623
Oh, we're just in the
middle of something.

1665
01:32:34,756 --> 01:32:36,625
- If you just... If you want to take a seat.
- Sorry, I just feel

1666
01:32:36,757 --> 01:32:39,360
like my story has a lot
in common with Bailey's.

1667
01:32:39,493 --> 01:32:40,828
[clears throat]

1668
01:32:40,962 --> 01:32:42,964
Hi, I'm Darla.

1669
01:32:43,097 --> 01:32:45,399
And I'm new, obviously.

1670
01:32:45,533 --> 01:32:50,338
And... I have breast
cancer apparently.

1671
01:32:51,640 --> 01:32:54,542
Weirdly enough,
I, too, went on a trip,

1672
01:32:54,676 --> 01:32:58,213
a trip that I lied about needing
for therapeutic purposes.

1673
01:32:58,346 --> 01:33:01,515
Not about my boob stuff,
about something else.

1674
01:33:02,417 --> 01:33:05,887
Something that I always
thought made me exciting

1675
01:33:06,020 --> 01:33:09,290
and good at my job
and in control.

1676
01:33:10,591 --> 01:33:15,463
But the guy that I was with made me
realize that maybe I had a problem.

1677
01:33:16,832 --> 01:33:18,466
And that's really scary,

1678
01:33:18,600 --> 01:33:21,103
finding out that
you might have a problem

1679
01:33:21,235 --> 01:33:23,805
and you don't know how
to fix it right away.

1680
01:33:23,939 --> 01:33:26,173
But this guy was
really cool about it.

1681
01:33:27,175 --> 01:33:31,846
And for the first time ever,
I trusted somebody.

1682
01:33:32,713 --> 01:33:36,118
And then I did something
really shitty to him.

1683
01:33:38,051 --> 01:33:39,287
And normally
I wouldn't really care

1684
01:33:39,421 --> 01:33:42,458
because I don't usually
like most people...

1685
01:33:43,425 --> 01:33:47,128
but this guy wasn't
like most people.

1686
01:33:50,399 --> 01:33:52,067
So...

1687
01:33:52,967 --> 01:33:54,836
Anyway, I don't really know...

1688
01:33:54,970 --> 01:33:58,106
What I'm trying to say is...

1689
01:34:02,144 --> 01:34:03,211
fuck cancer.

1690
01:34:03,345 --> 01:34:04,813
- [group laughing]
- [Darla] Am I right?

1691
01:34:04,947 --> 01:34:06,715
Yeah.

1692
01:34:06,847 --> 01:34:08,182
Thank you for that, Darla.

1693
01:34:08,315 --> 01:34:10,050
And welcome to the circle.

1694
01:34:10,184 --> 01:34:11,985
Molly, would you
like to share now?

1695
01:34:12,119 --> 01:34:14,355
Are you sure?
Does anybody else have any...

1696
01:34:14,488 --> 01:34:16,123
It sounds like you were
an asshole to this guy.

1697
01:34:16,257 --> 01:34:19,193
- Oh, come on!
- I mean, yes, I was an asshole,

1698
01:34:19,327 --> 01:34:21,162
but he was kind of a dick.

1699
01:34:21,296 --> 01:34:22,898
For the record,
I think you're both dicks.

1700
01:34:23,030 --> 01:34:25,199
You know,
my surgery is tomorrow.

1701
01:34:25,333 --> 01:34:26,501
Things are gonna
be different after.

1702
01:34:26,635 --> 01:34:28,470
- I know.
- You two know each other?

1703
01:34:28,603 --> 01:34:30,570
I guess if you're gonna
be serious about recovery,

1704
01:34:30,704 --> 01:34:32,873
- you probably shouldn't...
- Not for a while.

1705
01:34:33,007 --> 01:34:34,208
Okay, they know each other.

1706
01:34:34,341 --> 01:34:36,978
Yeah, and you probably
need time, right, to...

1707
01:34:37,110 --> 01:34:38,579
Probably. Yeah.

1708
01:34:39,113 --> 01:34:40,681
Worst timing ever, huh?

1709
01:34:41,215 --> 01:34:42,382
Maybe the best?

1710
01:34:42,516 --> 01:34:45,421
This is the weirdest
fucking support group.

1711
01:34:46,421 --> 01:34:48,088
- No, sorry.
- Yeah, go ahead.

1712
01:34:48,221 --> 01:34:50,692
You go ahead, I mean, who cares about us?
We're just blabbing on...

1713
01:34:50,826 --> 01:34:52,527
It sounds like a great trip.

1714
01:34:52,661 --> 01:34:54,729
Um, I just want to
get back to Molly.

1715
01:34:55,764 --> 01:34:59,801
Anyway, we were on this
bench in Amsterdam...

1716
01:35:02,403 --> 01:35:05,506
[Darla] <i>So we decided
to just be friends.</i>

1717
01:35:05,640 --> 01:35:07,809
[Bailey]
<i>Just for like one year,</i>

1718
01:35:07,943 --> 01:35:10,112
<i>which seemed like a
responsible amount of time</i>

1719
01:35:10,244 --> 01:35:13,480
<i>for us to, you know,
get our shit together.</i>

1720
01:35:14,481 --> 01:35:16,818
[Darla] <i>I guess after
my blog doubled traffic</i>

1721
01:35:16,951 --> 01:35:19,688
<i>to the website, Tanya
offered me my job back.</i>

1722
01:35:19,822 --> 01:35:22,590
This place could use
a voice like yours.

1723
01:35:22,724 --> 01:35:23,826
This voice.

1724
01:35:24,826 --> 01:35:25,860
I...

1725
01:35:26,828 --> 01:35:27,963
I can't.

1726
01:35:28,096 --> 01:35:29,529
I think I've just
been realizing lately

1727
01:35:29,663 --> 01:35:33,167
that maybe this place and
what I've been writing about...

1728
01:35:34,168 --> 01:35:35,837
isn't good for me anymore.

1729
01:35:37,805 --> 01:35:39,740
<i>It's crazy that she's
not my boss anymore,</i>

1730
01:35:39,875 --> 01:35:43,479
<i>but I still use her as
my emergency contact.</i>

1731
01:35:45,046 --> 01:35:46,748
[Bailey] <i>I got the new job.</i>

1732
01:35:46,881 --> 01:35:50,318
<i>I'm an illustrator for this
new graphic design firm.</i>

1733
01:35:51,185 --> 01:35:53,087
<i>I know my parents
still have no idea</i>

1734
01:35:53,220 --> 01:35:57,958
<i>how I make money drawing,
but they're coming around.</i>

1735
01:35:58,893 --> 01:36:01,729
[Darla] <i>Well, I've been
working on something.</i>

1736
01:36:01,863 --> 01:36:03,064
<i>It's mostly about me</i>

1737
01:36:03,198 --> 01:36:04,966
<i>and the stupid shit
that I've done,</i>

1738
01:36:05,100 --> 01:36:06,969
<i>but it's also about my mom,</i>

1739
01:36:07,101 --> 01:36:09,304
<i>because there's
a lot to unpack there.</i>

1740
01:36:09,438 --> 01:36:12,539
<i>And yeah, a lot of it
is about sex.</i>

1741
01:36:13,039 --> 01:36:15,510
<i>But a lot of it isn't.</i>

1742
01:36:15,644 --> 01:36:19,814
<i>And somehow, I managed to get
an advance from a publisher.</i>

1743
01:36:20,814 --> 01:36:22,850
[Bailey] <i>Liz still
checks in on me</i>

1744
01:36:22,984 --> 01:36:25,287
<i>but I took her advice.</i>

1745
01:36:25,420 --> 01:36:27,556
<i>I've been hanging out
with other people.</i>

1746
01:36:27,689 --> 01:36:30,025
[Darla] <i>We've been
seeing each other a lot.</i>

1747
01:36:30,158 --> 01:36:32,094
<i>I mean, platonically.</i>

1748
01:36:33,360 --> 01:36:36,331
[Bailey] <i>It's been nice having
someone to share things with.</i>

1749
01:36:37,698 --> 01:36:39,100
<i>Especially during
the hard times.</i>

1750
01:36:39,234 --> 01:36:40,469
Hey.

1751
01:36:41,502 --> 01:36:42,938
What's wrong?
What'd they say?

1752
01:36:47,975 --> 01:36:49,176
[squeals] Stop it!

1753
01:36:49,310 --> 01:36:51,713
<i>And the good ones.</i>

1754
01:36:52,646 --> 01:36:56,184
[Bailey] And today marks
one year since my surgery.

1755
01:36:56,318 --> 01:37:01,222
And after chemo, I am
officially in remission.

1756
01:37:04,024 --> 01:37:09,063
Plus the sperm I banked before my
first orchiectomy is still good,

1757
01:37:09,197 --> 01:37:11,431
so my mother
hasn't disowned me.

1758
01:37:11,565 --> 01:37:15,703
[laughs] And also, I don't
have to use condoms, so...

1759
01:37:17,671 --> 01:37:19,940
I mean, okay, but still like,

1760
01:37:20,073 --> 01:37:22,976
we'll use protection, I think.
It's like the over...

1761
01:37:23,109 --> 01:37:25,514
- 'cause there's like a million strains of...
- I got it.

1762
01:37:25,646 --> 01:37:27,114
I did the banana thing
in health class.

1763
01:37:27,247 --> 01:37:29,183
Good, they're still doing that.

1764
01:37:29,318 --> 01:37:30,518
Good.

1765
01:37:30,650 --> 01:37:32,220
[Darla]
I mean, I still struggle,

1766
01:37:32,353 --> 01:37:34,288
especially with
not watching porn.

1767
01:37:34,421 --> 01:37:36,089
That was a big one for me.

1768
01:37:36,990 --> 01:37:40,429
I miss getting attention.
I miss the validation

1769
01:37:40,561 --> 01:37:42,296
that came from
getting attention,

1770
01:37:42,430 --> 01:37:45,267
but I know that's
not worth it now.

1771
01:37:45,399 --> 01:37:50,504
Because I know now that's not
what any of this is really about.

1772
01:37:51,838 --> 01:37:55,876
I had to take a long good look
at what was under my hood.

1773
01:37:57,045 --> 01:37:59,547
And with the help of my sponsor,

1774
01:38:00,981 --> 01:38:03,650
this feels pretty cool.

1775
01:38:04,484 --> 01:38:06,387
I mean, it's not
as good as sex, but...

1776
01:38:06,520 --> 01:38:08,155
[group laughs]

1777
01:38:08,288 --> 01:38:09,557
It'll do.

1778
01:38:13,528 --> 01:38:15,864
- I will see you later.
- Yeah.

1779
01:38:15,997 --> 01:38:17,632
Thank you.
See ya.

1780
01:38:17,765 --> 01:38:19,767
That was cool, Darla.
Congrats.

1781
01:38:19,900 --> 01:38:21,336
Thanks, Rob.

1782
01:38:21,470 --> 01:38:23,238
Well, if it isn't Ms. Kelly.

1783
01:38:23,371 --> 01:38:24,739
Ah, it's the hall monitor again.

1784
01:38:24,872 --> 01:38:26,673
You know, you can't
smoke those in here.

1785
01:38:26,806 --> 01:38:28,943
Oh yeah,
someone told me that once.

1786
01:38:29,610 --> 01:38:31,345
One addiction at a time.

1787
01:38:32,213 --> 01:38:33,948
A whole year, huh?

1788
01:38:34,716 --> 01:38:35,751
Yeah.

1789
01:38:36,984 --> 01:38:42,958
So, would you like to go
to dinner with me tonight?

1790
01:38:43,557 --> 01:38:44,926
Like on a date?

1791
01:38:45,060 --> 01:38:49,364
- Mm.
- Hmm, lucky for you, I just became available.

1792
01:38:50,698 --> 01:38:52,767
[Bailey]
So, where you wanna go?

1793
01:38:52,900 --> 01:38:54,769
I don't know,
where do people go on dates?

1794
01:38:54,903 --> 01:38:56,570
I haven't been
on a date since high school.

1795
01:38:56,703 --> 01:38:59,606
I don't think I've
been on a date ever.

1796
01:38:59,740 --> 01:39:02,543
- Eh?
- We'll figure it out.

1797
01:39:03,578 --> 01:39:07,182
<i>♪ What do you say ♪</i>

1798
01:39:07,314 --> 01:39:11,085
<i>♪ Is this the time ♪</i>

1799
01:39:11,219 --> 01:39:14,523
<i>♪ For one more try ♪</i>

1800
01:39:14,655 --> 01:39:18,693
<i>♪ At a happy life ♪</i>

1801
01:39:18,826 --> 01:39:22,663
<i>♪ So what do you say ♪</i>

1802
01:39:22,796 --> 01:39:26,533
<i>♪ Is this our lives ♪</i>

1803
01:39:26,667 --> 01:39:30,472
<i>♪ To think my fears ♪</i>

1804
01:39:30,604 --> 01:39:34,575
<i>♪ Will not reprise ♪</i>

1805
01:39:34,708 --> 01:39:38,546
<i>♪ Woo hoo hoo ♪</i>

1806
01:39:38,679 --> 01:39:42,516
<i>♪ Ooh hoo hoo ♪</i>

1807
01:39:42,649 --> 01:39:46,320
<i>♪ Ooh hoo hoo ♪</i>

1808
01:39:46,453 --> 01:39:50,323
<i>♪ Woo hoo hoo ♪</i>

1809
01:39:50,457 --> 01:39:53,594
<i>♪ Can't be late ♪</i>

1810
01:39:53,728 --> 01:39:57,498
<i>♪ It's a rising tide ♪</i>

1811
01:39:57,631 --> 01:40:01,368
<i>♪ Like an hour glass ♪</i>

1812
01:40:01,502 --> 01:40:05,506
<i>♪ Running out of time ♪</i>

1813
01:40:05,640 --> 01:40:09,277
<i>♪ So what do you say ♪</i>

1814
01:40:09,411 --> 01:40:13,148
<i>♪ What will you decide ♪</i>

1815
01:40:13,280 --> 01:40:16,885
<i>♪ It's a win or lose ♪</i>

1816
01:40:17,018 --> 01:40:21,389
<i>♪ On a rolling die ♪</i>

1817
01:40:21,521 --> 01:40:25,359
<i>♪ Woo hoo hoo ♪</i>

1818
01:40:25,493 --> 01:40:29,197
<i>♪ Ooh hoo hoo ♪</i>

1819
01:40:29,329 --> 01:40:33,100
<i>♪ Ooh hoo hoo ♪</i>

1820
01:40:33,234 --> 01:40:37,105
<i>♪ Woo hoo hoo ♪</i>

1821
01:40:37,238 --> 01:40:40,775
<i>♪ Woo hoo hoo ♪</i>

1822
01:40:40,908 --> 01:40:44,646
<i>♪ Ooh hoo hoo ♪</i>

1823
01:40:44,779 --> 01:40:48,550
<i>♪ Ooh hoo hoo ♪</i>

1824
01:40:48,682 --> 01:40:52,087
<i>♪ Woo hoo hoo ♪</i>

1825
01:40:54,087 --> 01:40:57,858
<i>♪ Gonna get out of the water ♪</i>

1826
01:40:57,992 --> 01:41:00,962
<i>♪ Gonna leave the storm ♪</i>

1827
01:41:02,063 --> 01:41:05,833
<i>♪ Cause everybody's
Gotta get there somehow ♪</i>

1828
01:41:05,966 --> 01:41:09,703
<i>♪ And I won't wait
Another day, another day ♪</i>

1829
01:41:09,837 --> 01:41:12,373
<i>♪ Woo hoo hoo ♪</i>

1830
01:41:12,506 --> 01:41:15,810
<i>♪ Ooh hoo hoo ♪</i>

1831
01:41:15,943 --> 01:41:19,713
<i>♪ Ooh hoo hoo ♪</i>

1832
01:41:19,846 --> 01:41:23,650
<i>♪ Woo hoo hoo ♪</i>

1833
01:41:23,783 --> 01:41:27,654
<i>♪ Woo hoo hoo ♪</i>

1834
01:41:27,787 --> 01:41:31,458
<i>♪ Ooh hoo hoo ♪</i>

1835
01:41:31,591 --> 01:41:35,429
<i>♪ Ooh hoo hoo ♪</i>

1836
01:41:35,563 --> 01:41:39,367
<i>♪ Woo hoo hoo ♪</i>

1837
01:41:39,500 --> 01:41:41,636
<i>♪ Woo hoo hoo ♪</i>

1838
01:41:41,770 --> 01:41:45,439
<i>♪ Won't know
Until we get there ♪</i>

1839
01:41:45,573 --> 01:41:49,176
<i>♪ You know I wanna get there ♪</i>

1840
01:41:49,310 --> 01:41:53,447
<i>♪ Won't know
Until we get there ♪</i>

1841
01:41:53,581 --> 01:41:57,150
<i>♪ You know I wanna get there ♪</i>

1842
01:41:57,284 --> 01:42:00,921
<i>♪ Won't know
Until we get there ♪</i>

1843
01:42:01,055 --> 01:42:04,959
<i>♪ You know I wanna get there ♪</i>

1844
01:42:05,092 --> 01:42:08,863
<i>♪ Won't know
Until we get there ♪</i>

1845
01:42:08,997 --> 01:42:13,034
<i>♪ You know I wanna get there ♪</i>

1846
01:42:15,002 --> 01:42:18,506
[gentle music]

1847
01:42:19,219 --> 01:42:24,219
Subtitles by explosiveskull
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