1
00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:04,483
This programme contains
strong language and adult humour

2
00:00:04,483 --> 00:00:06,803
Are you coming into the UK
to engage in prostitution?

3
00:00:06,803 --> 00:00:09,883
I'd happily take a rimjob,
but you look kind of busy.

4
00:00:09,883 --> 00:00:12,683
Are you a member of
a terrorist organisation?

5
00:00:12,683 --> 00:00:15,123
Do I look like a terrorist?

6
00:00:15,123 --> 00:00:17,363
Actually, you do, a bit.

7
00:00:17,363 --> 00:00:20,683
You look like you might have been
blown up by one of your own, er...

8
00:00:20,683 --> 00:00:22,363
..badly made devices.

9
00:00:22,363 --> 00:00:26,843
Damn right!
I look like the worst kind.

10
00:00:26,843 --> 00:00:31,523
I look like a terrorist
with nothing to lose.

11
00:00:31,523 --> 00:00:33,643
Yeah, but obviously
you're just a dick.

12
00:00:33,643 --> 00:00:35,483
And I can't be arsed processing you.

13
00:00:35,483 --> 00:00:36,803
Oooh!

14
00:00:36,803 --> 00:00:41,243
I could so have a bomb in this bag
ready to blow up a plane.

15
00:00:41,243 --> 00:00:42,563
Yeah.

16
00:00:42,563 --> 00:00:47,283
But you are heading off that way.

17
00:00:47,283 --> 00:00:51,403
You, sir, are Britain's finest.

18
00:00:51,403 --> 00:00:52,843
Next.

19
00:00:52,843 --> 00:00:56,283
It is so easy getting
into this country!

20
00:00:56,283 --> 00:00:58,683
# Zig zag

21
00:01:05,003 --> 00:01:07,123
# Zig zag wanderer

22
00:01:08,283 --> 00:01:10,283
# Zig zag wanderer

23
00:01:11,603 --> 00:01:14,643
# Zig zag wanderer

24
00:01:14,643 --> 00:01:16,723
# Zig zag dreams

25
00:01:20,003 --> 00:01:22,643
# Zig zag. #

26
00:01:24,243 --> 00:01:27,043
APPLAUSE ON TV

27
00:01:30,243 --> 00:01:33,923
Thank you so much
for helping me to the loo.

28
00:01:33,923 --> 00:01:37,043
It's so hard to find
good help these days.

29
00:01:37,043 --> 00:01:38,603
I'm back!

30
00:01:40,083 --> 00:01:41,723
SHE YELLS EXCITEDLY

31
00:01:47,243 --> 00:01:50,083
You thought you got
rid of me, didn't you?

32
00:01:50,083 --> 00:01:52,403
Hoped. Hoped I got rid of you.

33
00:01:52,403 --> 00:01:55,443
So how's life?
What have you been up to?

34
00:01:55,443 --> 00:01:57,403
Tell me everything.

35
00:01:58,363 --> 00:02:00,643
Just sitting about, wiping arses.

36
00:02:00,643 --> 00:02:01,843
BELL RINGS

37
00:02:01,843 --> 00:02:03,723
Urgh. Did you text him?

38
00:02:03,723 --> 00:02:05,483
Did I text who?

39
00:02:05,483 --> 00:02:07,803
Tim!  Oh, God.

40
00:02:07,803 --> 00:02:10,483
You're back!
How did you find me?

41
00:02:10,483 --> 00:02:13,803
I linked to your Find My Friend on
your phone before you left, silly.

42
00:02:13,803 --> 00:02:15,963
That's creepy.

43
00:02:15,963 --> 00:02:17,483
You know, he's so rude.

44
00:02:17,483 --> 00:02:18,603
No. It's just I like to....

45
00:02:18,603 --> 00:02:22,243
He's in the presence of an essential
worker and he hasn't clapped once.

46
00:02:22,243 --> 00:02:23,723
God. Sorry I didn't even think.

47
00:02:23,723 --> 00:02:25,243
HE APPLAUDS

48
00:02:25,243 --> 00:02:28,003
Thank you.
You're welcome.

49
00:02:28,003 --> 00:02:30,283
We should probably move
to a bigger table.

50
00:02:30,283 --> 00:02:32,363
CLAPPING CONTINUES

51
00:02:34,523 --> 00:02:37,563
OK. So whereabouts are you
staying then, Tim?

52
00:02:37,563 --> 00:02:42,123
Well, I've had a little trouble
finding a place.

53
00:02:43,923 --> 00:02:45,523
HE EXHALES

54
00:02:45,523 --> 00:02:46,563
LIFT DINGS

55
00:02:58,083 --> 00:02:59,803
ORNAMENTS SMASH

56
00:03:00,723 --> 00:03:04,363
Well, er, my nan sadly passed away.

57
00:03:04,363 --> 00:03:06,963
Fuck me, is this shit anecdote
ever going to end?

58
00:03:06,963 --> 00:03:09,643
Er, I just mean she
left me her place.

59
00:03:09,643 --> 00:03:13,643
It's not huge and it does have
a slight old lady smell to it.

60
00:03:13,643 --> 00:03:14,843
But, you know...

61
00:03:14,843 --> 00:03:16,243
"Freedom!"

62
00:03:16,243 --> 00:03:17,643
Braveheart.

63
00:03:17,643 --> 00:03:19,003
Well, you'll know.

64
00:03:19,003 --> 00:03:22,323
Well, that's great,
I'll just stay with you.

65
00:03:22,323 --> 00:03:24,963
Yeah, for...for a few days,
that would be great.

66
00:03:24,963 --> 00:03:26,563
Yeah. That's what friends
are for, right?

67
00:03:26,563 --> 00:03:29,003
What's "friends"
got to do with this?

68
00:03:29,003 --> 00:03:30,123
HE CHUCKLES

69
00:03:30,123 --> 00:03:31,603
Good one.

70
00:03:35,123 --> 00:03:37,043
Ruth, can you give me
a hand with these?

71
00:03:37,043 --> 00:03:41,443
I can't, I'm inspecting to see
if Tim is going to live here.

72
00:03:41,443 --> 00:03:44,803
Well, make yourself
at temporary home.

73
00:03:44,803 --> 00:03:46,403
What is the plan, Tim?

74
00:03:46,403 --> 00:03:51,363
So it turns out all I need to stay
in Britain is a student visa.

75
00:03:51,363 --> 00:03:53,723
Nah, I don't think it's that easy.

76
00:03:53,723 --> 00:03:56,003
Actually, yeah,
that would have been simpler.

77
00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:59,403
Yeah, so I'm going to enrol in
college.  Amazing, that's brilliant.

78
00:03:59,403 --> 00:04:01,803
Yeah, I always regret my decision
not to go to university.

79
00:04:01,803 --> 00:04:03,443
Whose decision?

80
00:04:03,443 --> 00:04:04,923
The university's.

81
00:04:04,923 --> 00:04:06,163
Because?

82
00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:08,123
Cos I failed my A levels. TIM LAUGHS

83
00:04:08,123 --> 00:04:11,323
But, er... So what are you studying,
Tim? Psychology, or...?

84
00:04:11,323 --> 00:04:14,323
It's close to psychology.

85
00:04:14,323 --> 00:04:15,883
It is...

86
00:04:15,883 --> 00:04:17,363
..puppetry!

87
00:04:17,363 --> 00:04:18,763
Pup...puppetry?

88
00:04:18,763 --> 00:04:20,403
Dude, I just needed a visa.

89
00:04:20,403 --> 00:04:22,563
And, being differently abled,

90
00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:24,923
you'll be eligible for
student accommodation!

91
00:04:24,923 --> 00:04:28,243
I'll come with you and make sure you
find the right office if you want.

92
00:04:28,243 --> 00:04:29,723
PHONE RINGS

93
00:04:29,723 --> 00:04:31,683
Oh, who's that?

94
00:04:31,683 --> 00:04:33,163
Hey, Mom.

95
00:04:33,163 --> 00:04:34,803
Hey, Timmy, what's up?

96
00:04:34,803 --> 00:04:37,883
Not much, about to go to college.

97
00:04:37,883 --> 00:04:42,483
I wish I could go back to college
again, get some ass and some drugs.

98
00:04:42,483 --> 00:04:43,883
Oh, Mom!

99
00:04:43,883 --> 00:04:47,363
Do you need some condoms? Don't be
getting anybody pregnant, OK?

100
00:04:47,363 --> 00:04:50,363
Cos they'll come
out like you.  Oh, no!

101
00:04:50,363 --> 00:04:51,843
Did you try coke yet?

102
00:04:51,843 --> 00:04:55,403
You got to get quality stuff,
make sure you don't get it cut

103
00:04:55,403 --> 00:04:59,043
with those laxatives cos then
you shit your brains out.

104
00:04:59,043 --> 00:05:02,763
And maybe, you know, you could get
somebody to blow it up your ass.

105
00:05:02,763 --> 00:05:04,043
Yeah.

106
00:05:04,043 --> 00:05:07,843
All right, Timmy, you have a good
time, huh? You enjoy yourself.

107
00:05:07,843 --> 00:05:09,483
Bye, Mom.

108
00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:11,123
Love you.

109
00:05:11,123 --> 00:05:13,123
Love you, I love you...

110
00:05:33,963 --> 00:05:36,483
Like, what time do they close?

111
00:05:36,483 --> 00:05:38,603
The website said five o'clock.

112
00:05:38,603 --> 00:05:41,683
Yeah, we're not going to make that.

113
00:05:41,683 --> 00:05:45,123
Let's just come back tomorrow
early in the morning.

114
00:05:45,123 --> 00:05:46,963
And the latest madness.

115
00:05:46,963 --> 00:05:50,083
Trans "athletes"
claiming their human rights to take

116
00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:52,083
part in women's weightlifting
championships.

117
00:05:52,083 --> 00:05:54,803
Wow, do you actually put identities
that you're scared of

118
00:05:54,803 --> 00:05:57,203
in "air quotes"?
Answer the question!

119
00:05:57,203 --> 00:05:59,723
How is it fair when you have
physically stronger men

120
00:05:59,723 --> 00:06:02,363
taking part in the women's
weightlifting?

121
00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:05,603
Well, I'm sure you can
still watch it...

122
00:06:05,603 --> 00:06:09,603
..crying and jerking off
into a sock.

123
00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:11,483
I...I don't do that.

124
00:06:14,683 --> 00:06:17,363
At least we know which direction
the Incel Society is.

125
00:06:17,363 --> 00:06:19,083
IDRIS LAUGHS

126
00:06:19,083 --> 00:06:20,283
That's good.

127
00:06:20,283 --> 00:06:22,683
I mean, uh, what
a bloody saddo, eh?

128
00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:25,643
Er, I don't think
I need your validation.

129
00:06:25,643 --> 00:06:28,123
Hi, I'm Bobbiey.

130
00:06:28,123 --> 00:06:29,683
Er, Tim.

131
00:06:29,683 --> 00:06:32,083
Nice to meet you. You know,
I just don't understand

132
00:06:32,083 --> 00:06:35,243
how people can be
so lacking in compassion.

133
00:06:35,243 --> 00:06:37,483
Our difference is our strength.

134
00:06:37,483 --> 00:06:41,043
I'm a white pansexual -
who's not attracted to women.

135
00:06:41,043 --> 00:06:43,763
Bisha is Indian and queer.
Um, no...

136
00:06:43,763 --> 00:06:45,963
You know, it's so hard
coming out to Muslim parents.

137
00:06:45,963 --> 00:06:49,323
But men like that feel threatened
by - God forbid - Bisha's story.

138
00:06:49,323 --> 00:06:51,443
Yeah, I mean,
I couldn't agree more.

139
00:06:51,443 --> 00:06:53,883
Er, I think minorities have
got so much to teach us.

140
00:06:53,883 --> 00:06:58,043
Er, as carriers of white
privilege it is our job to learn,

141
00:06:58,043 --> 00:06:59,523
not their job to teach.

142
00:06:59,523 --> 00:07:01,483
That's exactly... No, I...

143
00:07:01,483 --> 00:07:04,043
I mean I'm a big fan of the, er,
Hillary Clinton quote about...

144
00:07:04,043 --> 00:07:06,283
What, Hillary Clinton
the neo-liberal war-monger?

145
00:07:06,283 --> 00:07:07,803
What, do you think I'd like her

146
00:07:07,803 --> 00:07:10,483
just because I identify
as a woman and so does she?

147
00:07:10,483 --> 00:07:12,523
I like your vibe, Tim.

148
00:07:12,523 --> 00:07:14,723
We're heading to the bar,
fancy a drink?

149
00:07:14,723 --> 00:07:16,843
Actually...

150
00:07:16,843 --> 00:07:19,683
..do you know where
I can get cocaine?

151
00:07:23,923 --> 00:07:25,963
Right, who wants a drink?
Oh, I'll get these.

152
00:07:25,963 --> 00:07:27,163
Why?

153
00:07:27,163 --> 00:07:29,363
Can you not handle someone
you perceive as a woman

154
00:07:29,363 --> 00:07:31,763
paying for a round?

155
00:07:31,763 --> 00:07:33,323
N-no.

156
00:07:33,323 --> 00:07:35,883
I... I'll just have an orange juice.

157
00:07:35,883 --> 00:07:37,683
Mmm. I'm not really sure
I'm comfortable

158
00:07:37,683 --> 00:07:40,363
being the only one drinking alcohol,
surrounded by people

159
00:07:40,363 --> 00:07:42,123
who identify as male.

160
00:07:42,123 --> 00:07:45,083
Cocktails?  Yes! Ooh.

161
00:07:45,083 --> 00:07:49,123
I will have a me-too-garita.

162
00:07:49,123 --> 00:07:54,003
And Idris will have consensual
sex on the beach.

163
00:07:54,003 --> 00:07:56,363
Perfect.

164
00:07:56,363 --> 00:07:59,283
You can like it,
he's never going to get it.

165
00:08:03,243 --> 00:08:05,603
# Up on Melancholy Hill

166
00:08:05,603 --> 00:08:08,483
# There's a plastic tree... #

167
00:08:08,483 --> 00:08:09,763
I actually wanted a pint.

168
00:08:09,763 --> 00:08:14,403
Bisha, I know you're not allowed to
drink and we all respect your views.

169
00:08:14,403 --> 00:08:16,963
We may all be drinking - you do you.

170
00:08:16,963 --> 00:08:20,363
I just want you to know,
you are heard, Bisha.

171
00:08:20,363 --> 00:08:23,643
I'm not really, not...
Cheers to Tim!

172
00:08:25,363 --> 00:08:27,203
Eurgh.

173
00:08:27,203 --> 00:08:28,763
What, is it 2015?

174
00:08:28,763 --> 00:08:31,243
Why don't you just stab that thing
straight into a sea turtles eye?

175
00:08:31,243 --> 00:08:33,203
Tim, er, needs them to
drink so it's...

176
00:08:33,203 --> 00:08:34,923
I think Tim can make
the decision on his own.

177
00:08:34,923 --> 00:08:39,003
Yeah, it's just the paper
ones go all mushy.  Oh.

178
00:08:39,003 --> 00:08:43,843
OK, well, I guess if Tim wants to
use a plastic straw that's fine.

179
00:08:43,843 --> 00:08:45,683
Sorry... Am  I  still in trouble?

180
00:08:45,683 --> 00:08:46,763
Yes!

181
00:08:46,763 --> 00:08:48,723
It's called moral relativism.

182
00:08:48,723 --> 00:08:52,003
And as Tim is oppressed as a member
of the disabled community...

183
00:08:52,003 --> 00:08:54,443
Ooh, I'm not disabled.

184
00:08:56,243 --> 00:08:57,323
Oh.

185
00:08:57,323 --> 00:09:02,123
Yeah, I...I took the decision
to identify as able-bodied.

186
00:09:04,003 --> 00:09:05,923
Er...

187
00:09:05,923 --> 00:09:06,963
Oh...

188
00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:09,043
Oh, my God, I mean that...

189
00:09:09,043 --> 00:09:11,683
..that is...

190
00:09:11,683 --> 00:09:17,083
And I assumed traditional
body norms and mis-abled you.

191
00:09:17,083 --> 00:09:18,723
Oh, my God, I need re-educating.

192
00:09:18,723 --> 00:09:19,963
No, you don't.

193
00:09:19,963 --> 00:09:22,123
Tim's actually only just
mentioned this thing.

194
00:09:22,123 --> 00:09:23,763
It is not Tim's job to teach.

195
00:09:23,763 --> 00:09:27,363
It is our job to learn.
I am so sorry, Tim.

196
00:09:27,363 --> 00:09:31,563
I mean, is there anything
I can do to make reparations?

197
00:09:31,563 --> 00:09:33,683
You could get us coke.

198
00:09:34,923 --> 00:09:38,043
Er... Yeah, OK.

199
00:09:41,923 --> 00:09:45,403
So they think you're able-bodied?

200
00:09:45,403 --> 00:09:46,763
Can they see?

201
00:09:46,763 --> 00:09:50,083
And more to the point, Tim,
if you really are able-bodied,

202
00:09:50,083 --> 00:09:51,963
you've got no excuse for your smell.

203
00:09:51,963 --> 00:09:54,043
Ruth we're living in
a post-label society.

204
00:09:54,043 --> 00:09:57,603
If Tim chooses not to identify
as disabled, that's absolutely fine.

205
00:09:57,603 --> 00:09:59,883
Just like I might not
identify as a man,

206
00:09:59,883 --> 00:10:02,443
that would be fine too if...
if that were the case.

207
00:10:02,443 --> 00:10:05,483
Oh, you're definitely
not a man.

208
00:10:05,483 --> 00:10:07,563
But they sound like fucking idiots.

209
00:10:07,563 --> 00:10:09,203
Ruth, come on.

210
00:10:09,203 --> 00:10:12,083
Just because they disagree with your
world view doesn't make them idiots.

211
00:10:12,083 --> 00:10:14,483
They are idiots cos
they listened to Tim.

212
00:10:14,483 --> 00:10:16,923
They may be idiots...

213
00:10:16,923 --> 00:10:20,323
..but they are idiots with coke.

214
00:10:21,843 --> 00:10:23,203
Hey, I'm knackered.

215
00:10:23,203 --> 00:10:25,523
Idris, where's your bed?
Wait, but...

216
00:10:25,523 --> 00:10:27,803
Oh, look who's not clapping.

217
00:10:27,803 --> 00:10:29,523
I can't believe I live with someone

218
00:10:29,523 --> 00:10:32,323
so unappreciative
of essential workers.

219
00:10:33,403 --> 00:10:35,723
IDRIS CLAPS

220
00:10:37,363 --> 00:10:42,363
I'm...I'm exhausted
and I'm going to go hit the hay.

221
00:10:42,363 --> 00:10:44,083
Hang on, where am I going to sleep?

222
00:10:44,083 --> 00:10:46,363
Seems like a you problem.

223
00:10:47,883 --> 00:10:50,163
Did I say you could stop
clapping, fucknuts?

224
00:10:51,763 --> 00:10:54,003
CLAPPING RESUMES

225
00:11:01,323 --> 00:11:03,683
I really think we should get to
the disability office, Tim.

226
00:11:03,683 --> 00:11:05,163
Even if it is all the way up there.

227
00:11:05,163 --> 00:11:07,963
Good to get your own place
wouldn't it? Both of you.

228
00:11:07,963 --> 00:11:09,883
Bobbiey!
Oh, hi, Tim!

229
00:11:09,883 --> 00:11:11,083
I'll see you later.

230
00:11:11,083 --> 00:11:13,123
We're going to brunch
if you want to come.

231
00:11:13,123 --> 00:11:14,403
I know this wild place

232
00:11:14,403 --> 00:11:16,843
and I've been telling everyone
about my cool new friend.

233
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,883
They would all would love
to learn your narrative.

234
00:11:18,883 --> 00:11:20,643
Did you get cocaine?

235
00:11:20,643 --> 00:11:22,643
Yep. I have called a guy.

236
00:11:22,643 --> 00:11:23,723
Sweet!

237
00:11:23,723 --> 00:11:29,283
In that case brunch with you
sounds like a hardship worth paying.

238
00:11:29,283 --> 00:11:31,243
So last night
I was reading about Malala.

239
00:11:31,243 --> 00:11:33,603
Don't know if you...  What,
a woman who's decided to squander

240
00:11:33,603 --> 00:11:36,883
her moral capital
and go to private school?

241
00:11:36,883 --> 00:11:39,083
Yeah, I...I read it,
I just thought,

242
00:11:39,083 --> 00:11:41,203
"Where does this bitch get off
trying to lecture us,"

243
00:11:41,203 --> 00:11:43,443
you know what I mean?
Don't call her a bitch!

244
00:11:43,443 --> 00:11:45,843
You cis men really
need to stop judging.

245
00:11:48,483 --> 00:11:50,723
OK, here's your coffee.  Thank you.

246
00:12:02,643 --> 00:12:04,763
Hi, mate, do you want me
to get you a chair?

247
00:12:04,763 --> 00:12:06,523
Oh...  Why would he need a chair?

248
00:12:06,523 --> 00:12:09,203
Because he's...disabled?

249
00:12:09,203 --> 00:12:11,563
What, you label him
because he uses a frame?

250
00:12:11,563 --> 00:12:14,683
He actually identifies
as able-bodied.

251
00:12:14,683 --> 00:12:17,723
Oh, OK, cool.  Yeah.

252
00:12:17,723 --> 00:12:20,363
I got you, mate.
But stools are...

253
00:12:20,363 --> 00:12:22,123
Aw, fuck it.

254
00:12:22,123 --> 00:12:25,123
So, we have so much to do today.

255
00:12:25,123 --> 00:12:29,763
Idris says I need to go to
the disability office.

256
00:12:29,763 --> 00:12:31,803
Wow. OK, boomer.

257
00:12:31,803 --> 00:12:33,043
Some friend you are.

258
00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:36,323
Just think of all the narrow-minded
bigots we can challenge

259
00:12:36,323 --> 00:12:40,723
when we tell them that Tim
self-identifies as able-bodied!

260
00:12:40,723 --> 00:12:43,883
It will blow their minds!
I've got the whole day planned.

261
00:12:43,883 --> 00:12:46,963
Dude, I'm not sure that I want to.
PHONE VIBRATES

262
00:12:46,963 --> 00:12:50,283
Oh, hang on.
It's my guy for later.

263
00:12:50,283 --> 00:12:51,563
Yeah?

264
00:12:53,363 --> 00:12:55,883
Fuck it. I'm in!

265
00:12:55,883 --> 00:12:59,083
MUSIC: Are You With Me Now?
by Cate Le Bon

266
00:13:12,363 --> 00:13:13,643
THUD

267
00:13:24,363 --> 00:13:25,723
WHISTLE

268
00:13:32,763 --> 00:13:34,123
THUD

269
00:14:05,123 --> 00:14:08,643
# Are you with me now? #

270
00:14:12,883 --> 00:14:16,043
Come on, Tim, I think we should try
and get this accommodation sorted,

271
00:14:16,043 --> 00:14:18,283
if you can just...
What are you doing?

272
00:14:18,283 --> 00:14:21,403
Hmm? Er, we're going to
the disability office.

273
00:14:21,403 --> 00:14:24,283
Oh, Jesus.
Have you learnt nothing from Tim?

274
00:14:24,283 --> 00:14:27,723
Come on, they're organising
an alt-right rally in the Union.

275
00:14:27,723 --> 00:14:30,683
I think it's just the Lib Dems.
Yeah, fucking fascists!

276
00:14:30,683 --> 00:14:32,163
Fuck this, man.

277
00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:37,043
Being morally superior
is exhausting.

278
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:38,443
Come on, slow coach.

279
00:14:38,443 --> 00:14:39,723
Yo, Bee!

280
00:14:39,723 --> 00:14:42,283
Oh, there you are. What a day.

281
00:14:42,283 --> 00:14:45,803
Yes! Oh, now it's time to party!

282
00:14:45,803 --> 00:14:48,483
Be good to get out of
this oppressive environment.

283
00:14:48,483 --> 00:14:51,243
You could, er, come back
go to mine if you want.

284
00:14:51,243 --> 00:14:53,243
If it's, you know, a small thing.

285
00:14:54,443 --> 00:14:57,123
# Mad! Money, house, paper

286
00:14:57,123 --> 00:14:59,483
# Look down pon mi shoe ah alligator

287
00:14:59,483 --> 00:15:01,883
# Ah weh me live? Skyscraper

288
00:15:01,883 --> 00:15:04,443
# If you nuh like me
you must be a hater

289
00:15:04,443 --> 00:15:06,723
# Anything dem wan' me do
dem haffi pay for

290
00:15:06,723 --> 00:15:09,083
# Fi count my money, y'ah
go need calculator

291
00:15:09,083 --> 00:15:11,323
# Anywhere me step - undertaker

292
00:15:11,323 --> 00:15:13,883
# 9-1-1, dem haffi call a operator

293
00:15:13,883 --> 00:15:15,963
# Get up and move, dash weh dat

294
00:15:15,963 --> 00:15:17,283
# Money tie up inna bank

295
00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:18,883
# But ah nuff we stack

296
00:15:18,883 --> 00:15:20,763
# Money haffi flip - acrobat... #

297
00:15:20,763 --> 00:15:23,483
I mean, could you turn
it down a smidge?

298
00:15:23,483 --> 00:15:26,043
Could you turn it down a smidge?

299
00:15:26,043 --> 00:15:27,483
VOLUME INCREASES

300
00:15:27,483 --> 00:15:28,963
No! Uh...

301
00:15:30,203 --> 00:15:33,523
Sorry,  excuse me.
I just need to squeeze past.

302
00:15:33,523 --> 00:15:34,923
Excuse me.

303
00:15:34,923 --> 00:15:36,683
Excuse me!

304
00:15:36,683 --> 00:15:39,563
I just need to
get to the sink, thank you.

305
00:15:43,163 --> 00:15:45,323
Oh! Can you keep
your party noise down?

306
00:15:45,323 --> 00:15:47,203
I'm tryin' to fuck in here!

307
00:15:47,203 --> 00:15:50,203
What? In my room? Is she tied...

308
00:15:50,203 --> 00:15:51,803
Are those my ties?

309
00:15:51,803 --> 00:15:54,523
# I ain't perfect but I promise
I won't do you wrong... #

310
00:15:57,243 --> 00:16:00,083
Oh, we did some great
stuff today, mate.

311
00:16:00,083 --> 00:16:03,283
Look, I'm sorry if I'm a....
I was a bit impatient. I just...

312
00:16:03,283 --> 00:16:05,843
I've still got so much
to learn from you, Tim.

313
00:16:05,843 --> 00:16:07,083
Oh, don't worry.

314
00:16:07,083 --> 00:16:09,523
My dealer has assured me
that it's ethically sourced.

315
00:16:09,523 --> 00:16:11,203
As is this straw.

316
00:16:13,003 --> 00:16:14,483
Bottoms up.

317
00:16:18,083 --> 00:16:19,123
Fuck!  Er...

318
00:16:20,363 --> 00:16:22,523
Look. Well, maybe...
Maybe we should...

319
00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:25,203
Do you want a hand there?
Help you, yeah.  Here we go.

320
00:16:25,203 --> 00:16:26,563
Thank you.

321
00:16:26,563 --> 00:16:27,603
I'll just, er...

322
00:16:29,123 --> 00:16:31,923
Yeah. Oh. Oh.

323
00:16:31,923 --> 00:16:33,883
What the fuck is going on?

324
00:16:33,883 --> 00:16:35,923
Oh...  Come here.

325
00:16:40,163 --> 00:16:42,123
Hold it steady.  Careful. Yeah.

326
00:16:42,123 --> 00:16:44,083
You got it? You got it?

327
00:16:44,083 --> 00:16:46,163
Careful.  Just take it easy.

328
00:16:46,163 --> 00:16:48,643
Oh!  Oh!  Jeez, gone everywhere.

329
00:16:49,803 --> 00:16:51,563
Should have blown it up his arse.

330
00:16:51,563 --> 00:16:54,523
Oh, for fuck's sake!

331
00:16:54,523 --> 00:16:58,483
That was £200 worth of gear!
What did you do that for?!

332
00:16:58,483 --> 00:17:01,483
Whoa! Whoa! He can't help it. OK?

333
00:17:01,483 --> 00:17:06,083
He's very disabled.
He is not...disabled.

334
00:17:06,083 --> 00:17:11,443
He is just another
able-bodied cis white man

335
00:17:11,443 --> 00:17:13,123
who thinks he can do
whatever he wants

336
00:17:13,123 --> 00:17:17,323
because he's got no lived experience
of exploitation or suffering.

337
00:17:17,323 --> 00:17:18,843
OK. Come on, princess.

338
00:17:18,843 --> 00:17:22,843
No, he doesn't recognise his own
bias, unconscious and conscious.

339
00:17:22,843 --> 00:17:26,323
He doesn't realise he is part
of the systemic bigotry

340
00:17:26,323 --> 00:17:30,723
of the failed capitalist structures
that are all just a facade.

341
00:17:30,723 --> 00:17:33,963
Off you fuckity fuck.

342
00:17:33,963 --> 00:17:36,963
He needs to de-centre his privilege!

343
00:17:36,963 --> 00:17:40,203
Hey! I've finally got privilege!

344
00:17:51,563 --> 00:17:52,923
Wow. That was amazing.

345
00:17:52,923 --> 00:17:55,843
You know, I'd...I'd love to get
some breakfast and have a chat.

346
00:17:55,843 --> 00:17:59,163
I know it's...it's not your job
to teach but it is my job to learn.

347
00:17:59,163 --> 00:18:01,083
Nah, bruv, fuck all that shit.

348
00:18:01,083 --> 00:18:03,203
I'm only in it
for the D and the coke,

349
00:18:03,203 --> 00:18:05,363
and that queef wasted the coke.

350
00:18:05,363 --> 00:18:07,163
And you're shit in bed.

351
00:18:07,163 --> 00:18:09,483
See you tampons later.

352
00:18:12,803 --> 00:18:13,963
PHONE CHIMES

353
00:18:13,963 --> 00:18:16,483
I got an email. Will you read it?

354
00:18:16,483 --> 00:18:18,603
I think I forgot how.

355
00:18:21,243 --> 00:18:23,123
"Dear Mr Renkow,
I'm sorry to inform you

356
00:18:23,123 --> 00:18:25,883
"that, as you've missed
the application deadline

357
00:18:25,883 --> 00:18:29,043
"for assisted disability housing,

358
00:18:29,043 --> 00:18:31,603
"we have taken you
off our waiting list.

359
00:18:31,603 --> 00:18:33,043
"Have a wonderful year."

360
00:18:33,043 --> 00:18:34,683
Oh.

361
00:18:34,683 --> 00:18:39,443
Looks like we're going to be
living with you, Idris!

362
00:18:42,003 --> 00:18:46,883
Idris, stop fucking clapping!
I'm trying to sleep.

363
00:18:46,883 --> 00:18:51,363
MUSIC: Close To Me
by The Cure