1
00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:03,403
THEY SCREAM Get off my set.

2
00:00:03,403 --> 00:00:05,123
Save me, Spider-Man!

3
00:00:05,123 --> 00:00:06,843
Disgraceful!

4
00:00:06,843 --> 00:00:08,363
You should make a donation to

5
00:00:08,363 --> 00:00:10,123
the Disabled Actors' Alliance.

6
00:00:10,123 --> 00:00:11,923
You've got to let me be
part of this passion.

7
00:00:11,923 --> 00:00:13,763
I've got nothing else to do.
I can help out.

8
00:00:13,763 --> 00:00:15,883
Let's buy some drugs!

9
00:00:19,443 --> 00:00:20,843
Where's my stuff?

10
00:00:20,843 --> 00:00:22,723
Ow!

11
00:00:22,723 --> 00:00:24,843
SIRENS WAIL

12
00:00:26,523 --> 00:00:27,563
Armed police!

13
00:00:27,563 --> 00:00:30,323
I'm off to the beautiful
land of no overheads.

14
00:00:30,323 --> 00:00:32,323
I'll buy it!
The rent is 50,000 a year.

15
00:00:32,323 --> 00:00:35,683
I've just spent my entire life
savings rescuing this beacon

16
00:00:35,683 --> 00:00:37,003
of community culture.

17
00:00:37,003 --> 00:00:39,403
Hey! Were you waiting for me?

18
00:00:39,403 --> 00:00:41,163
You really are brain-damaged.

19
00:00:42,403 --> 00:00:45,603
This programme contains very
strong language and adult humour

20
00:00:48,003 --> 00:00:51,283
So, the film Unbeaten has
been leaked today.

21
00:00:51,283 --> 00:00:55,203
Here to speak about it is somebody
who was actually in the film.

22
00:00:55,203 --> 00:00:56,443
Tim!

23
00:00:56,443 --> 00:00:58,523
What's your verdict?

24
00:00:58,523 --> 00:01:00,683
It's a piece of shit movie.

25
00:01:00,683 --> 00:01:02,043
It certainly is, yeah.

26
00:01:02,043 --> 00:01:05,603
Now, obviously, the film
is about disability.

27
00:01:05,603 --> 00:01:08,283
So, I have to ask you about
the Disability Funding Act

28
00:01:08,283 --> 00:01:09,683
going through Parliament.

29
00:01:11,043 --> 00:01:12,323
What?

30
00:01:12,323 --> 00:01:15,323
The Tories' plan to completely
reform the welfare system

31
00:01:15,323 --> 00:01:16,723
for disabled people in Britain?

32
00:01:16,723 --> 00:01:17,923
Whee!

33
00:01:20,403 --> 00:01:22,203
Did you know your chairs
can go around?

34
00:01:22,203 --> 00:01:24,603
Yeah, I di...yeah, Tim. Yeah.

35
00:01:24,603 --> 00:01:26,323
Why aren't we doing this
all the time?

36
00:01:26,323 --> 00:01:27,803
D-Do you really...

37
00:01:27,803 --> 00:01:29,883
Do you really not have any
opinion on what was

38
00:01:29,883 --> 00:01:31,283
the big story at the weekend?

39
00:01:31,283 --> 00:01:34,043
Oh, the week...this weekend?
Yeah, yeah!

40
00:01:34,043 --> 00:01:36,883
Yes, well, I was busy this weekend.

41
00:01:36,883 --> 00:01:41,323
See, what I was doing was
I got a glove, and then,

42
00:01:41,323 --> 00:01:44,123
I cut the fingertips out of it.

43
00:01:44,123 --> 00:01:46,323
And then, I got five dildos.

44
00:01:46,323 --> 00:01:48,043
Oh, OK!

45
00:01:48,043 --> 00:01:49,883
I think we're out of time.

46
00:01:49,883 --> 00:01:52,323
# You're a bad, bad man

47
00:01:52,323 --> 00:01:54,403
# You gotta do what you can

48
00:01:54,403 --> 00:01:56,443
# When you're a bad man... #

49
00:01:58,123 --> 00:02:00,043
She cut me off, yeah!

50
00:02:00,043 --> 00:02:04,523
But what I was going to say
was get five dildos,

51
00:02:04,523 --> 00:02:06,003
and make a dildo glove.

52
00:02:07,603 --> 00:02:08,643
Oh.

53
00:02:10,803 --> 00:02:12,643
Not while my mum's here.

54
00:02:12,643 --> 00:02:15,003
Sorry, I forgot.

55
00:02:15,003 --> 00:02:18,643
Would you like a dildo glove,
Beatrice?

56
00:02:18,643 --> 00:02:19,683
What did he say?

57
00:02:19,683 --> 00:02:21,803
Nothing. Mum, just ignore him.

58
00:02:21,803 --> 00:02:23,723
Why is she here, anyway?

59
00:02:23,723 --> 00:02:26,643
Because he needed her permission
to spunk all his savings

60
00:02:26,643 --> 00:02:28,163
on a doomed book shop.

61
00:02:28,163 --> 00:02:30,603
Just don't want to see you going
to rack and ruin.

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00:02:30,603 --> 00:02:32,043
PHONE CHIMES

63
00:02:34,563 --> 00:02:37,883
"Dear Tim, we got your
email from YouTube.

64
00:02:37,883 --> 00:02:42,283
"We'd love for you to speak
to the Select Committee deciding

65
00:02:42,283 --> 00:02:46,243
"how to spend the new
Disability Arts Fund.

66
00:02:46,243 --> 00:02:49,003
"Democracy is important to us."

67
00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:51,803
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

68
00:02:51,803 --> 00:02:53,483
The Tory Party?!

69
00:02:53,483 --> 00:02:55,163
Let me have a look.

70
00:02:55,163 --> 00:02:56,603
Oh, this is exciting.

71
00:02:56,603 --> 00:02:58,243
I'm a big fan of Select Committees.

72
00:02:58,243 --> 00:03:02,843
Oh, I hope there's some
hot chicks at this Tory party.

73
00:03:02,843 --> 00:03:04,123
No, there won't be.

74
00:03:04,123 --> 00:03:06,443
It'll only be a bunch of boring MPs.

75
00:03:06,443 --> 00:03:09,203
I mean, what the fuck do
they want with you?

76
00:03:09,203 --> 00:03:12,763
Oh, Ruth, I am a movie star now!

77
00:03:12,763 --> 00:03:17,723
I'm going to be invited to
all the cool parties.

78
00:03:17,723 --> 00:03:21,243
Stick with me, kid,
and you'll go places.

79
00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:23,843
OK, yeah. I'll come.
It'll be a laugh.

80
00:03:23,843 --> 00:03:26,083
And even if it's shite,
we're in Parliament -

81
00:03:26,083 --> 00:03:28,763
so there'll definitely be somebody
to score coke off there.

82
00:03:28,763 --> 00:03:29,803
Ooh.

83
00:03:31,043 --> 00:03:34,883
Oh, I have to ask.

84
00:03:34,883 --> 00:03:38,403
LOUDLY:  Were...you....vaccinated?

85
00:03:38,403 --> 00:03:41,363
LOUDLY: I...was...vaccinated.

86
00:03:43,163 --> 00:03:44,763
He was vaccinated.

87
00:03:46,963 --> 00:03:48,523
Don't worry.

88
00:03:48,523 --> 00:03:51,723
Q will get revenge.

89
00:03:56,043 --> 00:03:58,963
CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY She's...

90
00:03:58,963 --> 00:04:00,443
She smells good.

91
00:04:09,323 --> 00:04:11,123
Alicia.

92
00:04:11,123 --> 00:04:13,723
I don't...feel like we've properly
got to know each other yet.

93
00:04:13,723 --> 00:04:15,963
Aaliyah.  Yeah...what?

94
00:04:15,963 --> 00:04:17,403
My name is Aaliyah.

95
00:04:17,403 --> 00:04:20,203
Yeah, because...isn't it because
of Alicia Keys, and...

96
00:04:20,203 --> 00:04:23,203
..and that's why you're so sad,
because of the plane crash?

97
00:04:23,203 --> 00:04:25,283
That was Aaliyah.
That was Aaliyah.

98
00:04:25,283 --> 00:04:27,163
I get mixed up.

99
00:04:27,163 --> 00:04:29,283
Anyway, I really want
to try and, you know,

100
00:04:29,283 --> 00:04:31,203
get to know the real Alina.

101
00:04:31,203 --> 00:04:34,563
Aaliyah.  Aaliyah.

102
00:04:34,563 --> 00:04:37,203
I don't recognise any
of these writers.

103
00:04:37,203 --> 00:04:40,163
Maybe you should just add
some literary works.

104
00:04:40,163 --> 00:04:43,443
Mum, those are all African
and Caribbean classics.

105
00:04:43,443 --> 00:04:46,443
And I think using the word
"literary" in that sense is

106
00:04:46,443 --> 00:04:48,043
possibly a little bit offensive.

107
00:04:48,043 --> 00:04:50,083
Ooh. Sorry, pet.

108
00:04:50,083 --> 00:04:52,363
I just come from a different time.

109
00:04:52,363 --> 00:04:55,443
# I don't want to change the world

110
00:04:55,443 --> 00:04:58,603
# I'm not looking for New England

111
00:04:58,603 --> 00:05:01,443
# I'm just looking for a girl... #

112
00:05:06,123 --> 00:05:08,003
SHE GROANS

113
00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:11,483
If it isn't the fucking
princess of disabled hearts.

114
00:05:11,483 --> 00:05:15,603
Hey! You're that terrible lady
that made that terrible movie

115
00:05:15,603 --> 00:05:18,003
even more terrible.

116
00:05:18,003 --> 00:05:19,523
That's all I need, innit?

117
00:05:19,523 --> 00:05:21,523
A massive pain in my arse.

118
00:05:21,523 --> 00:05:26,723
Hey, you should know not all of us
can feel our arses.

119
00:05:26,723 --> 00:05:29,083
That's very offensive.

120
00:05:30,243 --> 00:05:32,083
Hey, what're you doing here?

121
00:05:32,083 --> 00:05:36,043
I represent the Disabled
Actors' Alliance.

122
00:05:36,043 --> 00:05:39,083
These people have
50 million to distribute.

123
00:05:39,083 --> 00:05:42,243
50 million? That's...

124
00:05:43,763 --> 00:05:45,443
..30...

125
00:05:47,043 --> 00:05:49,803
..give or take by...

126
00:05:49,803 --> 00:05:53,123
..2.3 million dildo gloves.

127
00:05:53,123 --> 00:05:56,203
Oh, that's good maths, buddy.

128
00:05:56,203 --> 00:05:58,483
Just stay out my way,
you fucking idiot.

129
00:05:58,483 --> 00:05:59,723
Hello, everyone.

130
00:05:59,723 --> 00:06:01,363
I'm Sir Edwin Reece-Smith,

131
00:06:01,363 --> 00:06:04,483
chair of the Disability
Appropriations Select Committee.

132
00:06:04,483 --> 00:06:06,683
Are we going to be on TV?

133
00:06:06,683 --> 00:06:09,763
Yeah, but only losers
will be watching.

134
00:06:09,763 --> 00:06:13,283
We're taking testimony and evidence
from some of the country's

135
00:06:13,283 --> 00:06:15,803
most respected champions
for disability rights...

136
00:06:15,803 --> 00:06:18,003
..including, I'm delighted to say,

137
00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:22,203
some powerful advocates from
the world of social media.

138
00:06:22,203 --> 00:06:24,283
Welcome...Tim?

139
00:06:25,323 --> 00:06:29,723
Just Tim - very YouTube.

140
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:37,203
Oh, could I just check your
preferred pronouns? He, she...

141
00:06:38,243 --> 00:06:41,443
..xie?  Oh, I'll go for...

142
00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:43,763
HE BELLOWS

143
00:06:43,763 --> 00:06:47,203
Please make a note of
stated preference.

144
00:06:47,203 --> 00:06:50,363
So, let's start with you.

145
00:06:50,363 --> 00:06:54,563
What's being proposed is a move away
from local authority provision to

146
00:06:54,563 --> 00:06:59,723
a more centralised system of PFIs
and multi-agency funding.

147
00:06:59,723 --> 00:07:02,163
Drawing on your experience,

148
00:07:02,163 --> 00:07:06,443
how do you think this would affect
our user end-point agreement?

149
00:07:08,883 --> 00:07:10,243
Erm...

150
00:07:11,523 --> 00:07:13,243
WHISPERS:  Spend more money.

151
00:07:13,243 --> 00:07:14,683
Spend more money.

152
00:07:16,483 --> 00:07:17,843
WHISPERS:  On good things.

153
00:07:17,843 --> 00:07:19,043
On good things.

154
00:07:21,523 --> 00:07:23,283
What's she doing?

155
00:07:23,283 --> 00:07:25,883
Oh, everything is recorded here.

156
00:07:25,883 --> 00:07:27,403
She...

157
00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:31,243
Good.

158
00:07:31,243 --> 00:07:33,723
She is transcribing this,

159
00:07:33,723 --> 00:07:35,563
and it will be published in Hansard.

160
00:07:35,563 --> 00:07:39,243
OK. I may be in the wrong party.

161
00:07:39,243 --> 00:07:42,363
I was told this is Tory party,

162
00:07:42,363 --> 00:07:46,603
and there would be pigs in knickers

163
00:07:46,603 --> 00:07:50,643
and gourds used as cocaine tables.

164
00:07:50,643 --> 00:07:54,483
Can we please keep these
proceedings professional?

165
00:07:54,483 --> 00:07:59,083
Stop fucking talking -
if you can call THAT talking.

166
00:08:04,723 --> 00:08:06,763
You could just diversify, pet.

167
00:08:06,763 --> 00:08:08,923
You can't only be selling
one type of book.

168
00:08:08,923 --> 00:08:11,003
Mum, it's an African
Caribbean book shop.

169
00:08:11,003 --> 00:08:14,523
It's just there's some interesting
new books I've been reading about

170
00:08:14,523 --> 00:08:15,723
on the internet.

171
00:08:15,723 --> 00:08:18,083
A lot of self-published work.
I just...

172
00:08:18,083 --> 00:08:21,243
You don't have to interfere.
Interfere?

173
00:08:21,243 --> 00:08:24,723
Oh, Idris, I'm not interfering.

174
00:08:24,723 --> 00:08:27,843
I'm just looking after
my little boy.  Yeah.

175
00:08:27,843 --> 00:08:29,763
It's all I've ever done.

176
00:08:29,763 --> 00:08:32,003
Try to protect you.

177
00:08:32,003 --> 00:08:35,243
Cos you certainly weren't getting
that from your father.

178
00:08:35,243 --> 00:08:37,123
O-OK. Come on.

179
00:08:39,763 --> 00:08:42,563
Could you ask your help
to get me a coffee?

180
00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:44,603
Be a nice place to have
a coffee in here.

181
00:08:44,603 --> 00:08:47,523
You should get a coffee machine.

182
00:08:47,523 --> 00:08:50,123
Attract a nicer clientele.

183
00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:57,283
She will destroy your dreams.

184
00:09:00,163 --> 00:09:04,043
Sir Edwin, Lily Matthews from the
Disabled Actors' Alliance.

185
00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:06,483
If I can refer you to my proposal

186
00:09:06,483 --> 00:09:10,963
for investment in the
New London Disabled Artists Forum,

187
00:09:10,963 --> 00:09:15,123
we want a modest £53,000 to help....

188
00:09:15,123 --> 00:09:17,283
To make another Godzilla movie!

189
00:09:17,283 --> 00:09:19,323
That's what you were going
to say, right?

190
00:09:19,323 --> 00:09:22,683
How do you think a new
Godzilla movie would enhance

191
00:09:22,683 --> 00:09:25,163
the rights of disabled people?

192
00:09:25,163 --> 00:09:29,323
I think a new Godzilla
movie would help...

193
00:09:30,563 --> 00:09:35,523
..because Godzilla...

194
00:09:35,523 --> 00:09:40,323
..is a...lizard.

195
00:09:40,323 --> 00:09:43,683
And lizards can grow back limbs.

196
00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:47,883
So, it'd be like telling
a disabled person,

197
00:09:47,883 --> 00:09:49,603
"You can do anything".

198
00:09:49,603 --> 00:09:51,203
Didn't I just see...?

199
00:09:51,203 --> 00:09:53,843
It's one of the things,
what you call them?

200
00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:55,883
A metamorphosis.

201
00:09:55,883 --> 00:09:57,643
No.

202
00:09:57,643 --> 00:09:59,083
A metaphor.

203
00:09:59,083 --> 00:10:00,403
No, no, no.

204
00:10:00,403 --> 00:10:02,763
I was right the first time.

205
00:10:02,763 --> 00:10:04,643
It's a metamorphosis.

206
00:10:04,643 --> 00:10:07,363
May I interrupt for one second?

207
00:10:07,363 --> 00:10:11,763
I would just like to inform
the committee that Tim appears

208
00:10:11,763 --> 00:10:14,843
to be an illegal immigrant.

209
00:10:14,843 --> 00:10:16,083
Here you go.

210
00:10:17,163 --> 00:10:19,243
What?

211
00:10:19,243 --> 00:10:20,923
Well, this is troubling.

212
00:10:20,923 --> 00:10:23,363
Hmm. With this man's origins,

213
00:10:23,363 --> 00:10:27,363
he may not have the good of
the country at heart.

214
00:10:27,363 --> 00:10:29,323
He may not even have a visa.

215
00:10:29,323 --> 00:10:33,963
We want to hear the experiences
of all disabled people -

216
00:10:33,963 --> 00:10:36,123
but not the illegal ones.

217
00:10:36,123 --> 00:10:38,123
Now I know why...

218
00:10:38,123 --> 00:10:40,003
HE BELLOWS

219
00:10:40,003 --> 00:10:42,963
Oi! You said that wrong,
and that is fucking offensive.

220
00:10:42,963 --> 00:10:44,803
Wouldn't give us his last name.

221
00:10:44,803 --> 00:10:48,723
I think you should leave now,
Mr Tim...Bin Laden,

222
00:10:48,723 --> 00:10:53,323
while we clear up whether you are
or are not allowed in this building.

223
00:10:56,083 --> 00:10:58,763
Well, this was fun!

224
00:10:58,763 --> 00:11:00,323
I'll miss you guys.

225
00:11:02,803 --> 00:11:05,083
Hey!

226
00:11:05,083 --> 00:11:07,963
Why is that lady fucking a tractor?

227
00:11:07,963 --> 00:11:09,163
Get out.

228
00:11:10,483 --> 00:11:12,763
Ah, fuck yous!

229
00:11:12,763 --> 00:11:16,163
I'm Scottish. We're sacking the
lot of you soon anyway.

230
00:11:16,163 --> 00:11:19,483
If I can refer you back
to my proposal to help modernise

231
00:11:19,483 --> 00:11:22,523
our current rehearsal studio...

232
00:11:22,523 --> 00:11:26,523
That showed them,
the sad sacks of shite!

233
00:11:26,523 --> 00:11:28,043
THEY LAUGH Yeah.

234
00:11:28,043 --> 00:11:30,283
The look on Lily's pretty...

235
00:11:30,283 --> 00:11:32,483
..pretty stupid face!

236
00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:36,683
Don't mess with us,
you prissy little do-gooder.

237
00:11:36,683 --> 00:11:39,203
Although she's still in there,

238
00:11:39,203 --> 00:11:43,123
getting her hands on millions
of quid - and we're not.

239
00:11:51,683 --> 00:11:56,803
We shall win this war
for the good of all mankind!

240
00:11:56,803 --> 00:11:59,523
I shall have my vengeance!

241
00:11:59,523 --> 00:12:01,403
We will fight them on the beaches.

242
00:12:01,403 --> 00:12:02,883
Yes, General.

243
00:12:02,883 --> 00:12:05,723
We shall not be beaten.

244
00:12:05,723 --> 00:12:08,083
There, there, pet.

245
00:12:08,083 --> 00:12:11,763
The people that
injected you with poison

246
00:12:11,763 --> 00:12:13,883
will not get away with it.

247
00:12:13,883 --> 00:12:16,363
No, no, no, no, no, no.

248
00:12:16,363 --> 00:12:18,803
It's this terrible woman.

249
00:12:18,803 --> 00:12:24,443
She told them I didn't have a visa
because I'm a filthy,

250
00:12:24,443 --> 00:12:28,363
disgusting illegal immigrant.

251
00:12:28,363 --> 00:12:30,803
She said he didn't have a visa
cos he's an immigrant.

252
00:12:30,803 --> 00:12:33,163
Oh, gosh! Where's he from?
America.

253
00:12:33,163 --> 00:12:35,323
Oh! Oh, thank goodness.

254
00:12:35,323 --> 00:12:39,243
For a second, I thought he was
from one of those countries.

255
00:12:39,243 --> 00:12:40,603
She didn't really mean it.

256
00:12:40,603 --> 00:12:43,003
You know, she's just from
a different generation.  Is she?

257
00:12:43,003 --> 00:12:46,963
Well, Lily, two can play
at that game.

258
00:12:46,963 --> 00:12:48,963
We're going to follow you,

259
00:12:48,963 --> 00:12:53,443
find your weaknesses,
and exploit them.

260
00:12:53,443 --> 00:12:55,523
Come on, Ruth.

261
00:12:55,523 --> 00:12:57,883
Let's go.  I'm the general.

262
00:12:57,883 --> 00:13:00,803
My brain's too important
to waste in battle.

263
00:13:00,803 --> 00:13:02,523
You'll have to go it alone.

264
00:13:02,523 --> 00:13:05,603
But...if you fuck Lily up,

265
00:13:05,603 --> 00:13:08,643
I'll buy you an ice cream on
the high street for lunch.

266
00:13:21,523 --> 00:13:25,803
# You know, your momma
and your daddy

267
00:13:25,803 --> 00:13:30,123
# Saying I'm no good for you

268
00:13:30,123 --> 00:13:34,323
# They call me dirty from the alley

269
00:13:34,323 --> 00:13:37,883
# Till I don't know what to do

270
00:13:39,203 --> 00:13:43,443
# I get so tired of sneakin' around
just to get to your back door

271
00:13:43,443 --> 00:13:45,563
# I crawl past the garbage
and your momma jumps out

272
00:13:45,563 --> 00:13:47,243
# Screamin'
"Don't come back no more"

273
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:48,283
# I can't take it

274
00:13:48,283 --> 00:13:50,763
# My guitar wants
to kill your mama... #

275
00:13:53,523 --> 00:13:55,803
Jordan Peterson.

276
00:13:55,803 --> 00:13:57,763
Clarkson.

277
00:13:57,763 --> 00:13:59,483
Tommy Robinson?

278
00:13:59,483 --> 00:14:03,243
All you profess to stand for is
crumbling into the dust.

279
00:14:03,243 --> 00:14:07,323
Mum's just trying to introduce
some alternative voices into the...

280
00:14:07,323 --> 00:14:11,123
Oh, God, we really shouldn't be
selling this one.

281
00:14:11,123 --> 00:14:12,483
That should be with the H's.

282
00:14:20,603 --> 00:14:22,043
Incognito mode.

283
00:14:22,043 --> 00:14:24,003
Incognito mode. Inco...

284
00:14:24,003 --> 00:14:25,523
What the fuck is he do...?

285
00:14:33,203 --> 00:14:34,243
Oof!

286
00:14:34,243 --> 00:14:35,603
SLOWED DOWN: Noooo!

287
00:14:35,603 --> 00:14:37,443
I'm so sorry.

288
00:14:37,443 --> 00:14:41,683
My phone! My poor phone.

289
00:14:41,683 --> 00:14:45,003
Come on, Jerry, stay with me.

290
00:14:45,003 --> 00:14:46,883
Don't go into the light.

291
00:14:48,843 --> 00:14:52,803
He was just a child!

292
00:14:52,803 --> 00:14:54,763
Ah, I'm fucking with you.

293
00:14:54,763 --> 00:14:55,883
HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

294
00:14:55,883 --> 00:14:57,723
OK. Ha.

295
00:14:57,723 --> 00:14:59,563
You're going to pay for that, right?

296
00:14:59,563 --> 00:15:03,003
Without his phone, he won't know
when to take his diabetes medicine.

297
00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:05,123
Well, no, I mean he said it
was fine - and actually,

298
00:15:05,123 --> 00:15:06,403
he kind of bumped into me.

299
00:15:06,403 --> 00:15:08,923
Ah, mate, but I saw you
barge into him.

300
00:15:08,923 --> 00:15:10,883
So did all these people.

301
00:15:10,883 --> 00:15:14,723
I mean, it's going to be
about 300 to repair.

302
00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:19,563
I only have...£120.

303
00:15:19,563 --> 00:15:21,323
There's a cashpoint
round the corner.

304
00:15:21,323 --> 00:15:22,363
It's a bit much.

305
00:15:22,363 --> 00:15:23,683
Ooh, a bit much!

306
00:15:23,683 --> 00:15:28,163
OK, I'll just post these photos all
over your Facebook page, then.

307
00:15:28,163 --> 00:15:29,803
Maybe your boss sees it, too.

308
00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:31,483
You don't even know who I am.

309
00:15:31,483 --> 00:15:34,683
Really? Zane Prenderghast.

310
00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:36,003
Anyway, chop chop.

311
00:15:43,563 --> 00:15:45,323
Take it. Take everything.

312
00:15:45,323 --> 00:15:47,123
Thank you.  I'm sorry.

313
00:15:47,123 --> 00:15:48,643
Please leave me alone.

314
00:15:48,643 --> 00:15:49,963
Bye!

315
00:15:49,963 --> 00:15:53,603
Ah...the old "broken phone" trick.

316
00:15:54,843 --> 00:15:56,163
Nice one.

317
00:15:56,163 --> 00:15:58,883
Although you almost
blew it at the start.

318
00:15:58,883 --> 00:16:00,603
Way too theatrical.

319
00:16:00,603 --> 00:16:01,803
What?  Yeah.

320
00:16:01,803 --> 00:16:05,843
You want to start drawing on
their guilt, not embarrassment.

321
00:16:05,843 --> 00:16:09,163
By the way, I'll take my cut now,
yeah? Cheers.

322
00:16:09,163 --> 00:16:11,203
Nice doing business with you.

323
00:16:11,203 --> 00:16:13,803
Stop! Come back!

324
00:16:14,883 --> 00:16:16,203
What?

325
00:16:17,803 --> 00:16:19,683
Teach me your ways.

326
00:16:19,683 --> 00:16:20,923
Oh, yeah?

327
00:16:20,923 --> 00:16:22,283
What's in it for me, then?

328
00:16:22,283 --> 00:16:24,723
I'll be your accomplice.

329
00:16:24,723 --> 00:16:28,523
We'll be like Batman and...

330
00:16:29,963 --> 00:16:32,203
Oh, fuck.

331
00:16:32,203 --> 00:16:35,243
Batman and...Tim!

332
00:16:37,523 --> 00:16:39,603
All right, fine.

333
00:16:39,603 --> 00:16:42,083
Just stop being annoying.

334
00:16:42,083 --> 00:16:44,283
No promises.

335
00:16:46,523 --> 00:16:49,763
MUSIC: Rip Off
by T. Rex

336
00:16:49,763 --> 00:16:51,883
# In the moonlight
Fighting with the night

337
00:16:51,883 --> 00:16:53,323
# It's a rip-off... #

338
00:16:55,683 --> 00:16:57,443
I know this one.

339
00:16:57,443 --> 00:17:00,083
You're going to pour water
on your lap.

340
00:17:03,003 --> 00:17:05,323
Ow! What the fuck are you doing?

341
00:17:05,323 --> 00:17:07,683
MUSIC DROWNS OUT SPEECH

342
00:17:07,683 --> 00:17:10,043
# Dancing in the dark
With the tramps in the park

343
00:17:10,043 --> 00:17:12,683
# It's a rip-off
Such a rip-off, yeah!

344
00:17:15,163 --> 00:17:17,443
# See your baby's stud
Sliding in the mud

345
00:17:17,443 --> 00:17:18,883
# It's a rip-off

346
00:17:20,083 --> 00:17:22,563
# Bleached on the beach
I want to tickle your peach

347
00:17:22,563 --> 00:17:24,883
# It's a rip-off, yeah... #

348
00:17:27,683 --> 00:17:30,323
There's no ramp here,
how am I supposed to get in?

349
00:17:36,083 --> 00:17:38,523
Face it, Madam, I'm really sorry.
That's not good enough.

350
00:17:38,523 --> 00:17:41,523
Don't put me in any trouble.
I need compensation.

351
00:17:45,283 --> 00:17:47,763
# The President's weird
He's got a burgundy beard

352
00:17:47,763 --> 00:17:50,363
# It's a rip-off
Such a rip-off, ow... #

353
00:17:58,403 --> 00:18:01,883
Hey! Is this your arts charity?

354
00:18:01,883 --> 00:18:06,363
Yeah, and I'm meeting some dickheads
from the Department of Culture

355
00:18:06,363 --> 00:18:08,763
to help me land my new funding.

356
00:18:08,763 --> 00:18:10,323
So, fuck off.

357
00:18:10,323 --> 00:18:12,043
I'll be invisible.

358
00:18:12,043 --> 00:18:15,243
You're the opposite of invisible.

359
00:18:15,243 --> 00:18:16,483
Bye, dickhead.

360
00:18:20,923 --> 00:18:25,563
The young people are currently
working on an ambitious

361
00:18:25,563 --> 00:18:30,403
new musical project, telling the
story of Nelly Culworth,

362
00:18:30,403 --> 00:18:34,483
one of Britain's first disabled
campaigners of colour,

363
00:18:34,483 --> 00:18:38,563
using a fusion of grime and skank.

364
00:18:38,563 --> 00:18:40,043
Ooh, like Hamilton?

365
00:18:40,043 --> 00:18:42,083
Exactly like Hamilton.

366
00:18:42,083 --> 00:18:43,723
My wife got tickets for my birthday.

367
00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:45,443
Bloody brilliant!

368
00:18:45,443 --> 00:18:46,963
Is it possible to take a peek?

369
00:18:46,963 --> 00:18:48,323
Normally, yes.

370
00:18:48,323 --> 00:18:52,843
But a lot of our young stakeholders
in this scene are autistic.

371
00:18:52,843 --> 00:18:58,323
It's why we black out the windows,
to create the right sensory diets.

372
00:18:58,323 --> 00:19:03,043
I worry interrupting would disrupt
the creative process.

373
00:19:03,043 --> 00:19:05,283
Of course.  Yeah.

374
00:19:05,283 --> 00:19:06,843
Ah, God.

375
00:19:06,843 --> 00:19:08,643
MUFFLED GRIME MUSIC

376
00:19:09,843 --> 00:19:12,043
Ooh! No!

377
00:19:12,043 --> 00:19:16,243
Perhaps we should go discuss
this more at the cafe.

378
00:19:16,243 --> 00:19:19,803
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

379
00:19:19,803 --> 00:19:20,843
Oh...

380
00:19:20,843 --> 00:19:24,283
GRIME MUSIC BLARES

381
00:19:26,763 --> 00:19:29,723
Fuck!
That's why we need the funding!

382
00:19:29,723 --> 00:19:33,803
To get the space suitable
for the autistics!

383
00:19:33,803 --> 00:19:36,483
Think of the autistics!

384
00:19:39,283 --> 00:19:42,283
You stupid cunt.

385
00:19:42,283 --> 00:19:46,283
That money was going
to buy me my second flat.

386
00:19:46,283 --> 00:19:48,763
And you fucked it up!

387
00:19:48,763 --> 00:19:52,203
So, that was a scam, too.

388
00:19:52,203 --> 00:19:55,003
Aha! Of course it fucking was!

389
00:20:00,403 --> 00:20:02,523
I think I love you!

390
00:20:17,003 --> 00:20:19,563
Oh, there you are! You big fanny.

391
00:20:21,163 --> 00:20:24,043
And where the fuck were you
at ice cream time?

392
00:20:24,043 --> 00:20:25,563
She's great.

393
00:20:25,563 --> 00:20:29,563
I was stood there for, like...
three ice creams' time.

394
00:20:32,043 --> 00:20:34,483
Wait...oh, good God, no.

395
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:37,563
You stood me up for
that do-gooding trollop.

396
00:20:37,563 --> 00:20:39,563
No, no, no, no, no.

397
00:20:39,563 --> 00:20:41,803
You don't understand.

398
00:20:41,803 --> 00:20:44,003
She's not like that at all.

399
00:20:44,003 --> 00:20:46,203
When you get to know her,

400
00:20:46,203 --> 00:20:50,963
she's actually evil and heartless.

401
00:20:50,963 --> 00:20:52,243
Perfect.

402
00:20:52,243 --> 00:20:53,483
Ah, bullshit.

403
00:20:53,483 --> 00:20:56,403
She probably blinked her
stupid eyelashes at you,

404
00:20:56,403 --> 00:20:58,083
and you fell under her spell.

405
00:20:58,083 --> 00:21:00,443
She's amazing, man!

406
00:21:00,443 --> 00:21:02,883
You know the shit I do?

407
00:21:02,883 --> 00:21:08,083
Well, she does it, and then,
people give her money.

408
00:21:08,083 --> 00:21:10,723
It doesn't matter, though.

409
00:21:10,723 --> 00:21:13,683
I fucked it up.

410
00:21:13,683 --> 00:21:15,883
You really like her, don't you?
Yeah.

411
00:21:15,883 --> 00:21:18,963
And she's good at making money?
Yep.

412
00:21:18,963 --> 00:21:21,963
What the fuck are you
waiting for, you idiot?

413
00:21:21,963 --> 00:21:24,643
We need a plan to win her back.

414
00:21:24,643 --> 00:21:26,763
At your command, General!

415
00:21:38,283 --> 00:21:40,443
Feels like our shop now.

416
00:21:40,443 --> 00:21:43,003
No, it feels like YOUR shop now.

417
00:21:43,003 --> 00:21:44,563
These books aren't what I represent.

418
00:21:44,563 --> 00:21:47,443
You've turned this place into
a temple of bigotry.

419
00:21:47,443 --> 00:21:50,043
I took this place on because
I wanted to help people,

420
00:21:50,043 --> 00:21:51,483
not miseducate them.

421
00:21:51,483 --> 00:21:53,683
I'm not going to let your
ignorant views ruin this.

422
00:21:53,683 --> 00:21:56,003
Sorry, Idris.

423
00:21:56,003 --> 00:21:57,723
I was only trying to help.

424
00:21:57,723 --> 00:22:02,203
I know my views don't sit well
with the young woke people.

425
00:22:02,203 --> 00:22:05,043
But I'm of an older generation.

426
00:22:05,043 --> 00:22:06,443
Yeah, I know, Mum.

427
00:22:06,443 --> 00:22:09,523
Things were different in the '60s
and '70s when I was growing up.

428
00:22:09,523 --> 00:22:11,083
You've got to look at the context.

429
00:22:11,083 --> 00:22:12,163
Yeah.

430
00:22:12,163 --> 00:22:15,843
Although you did ban all gay people
from staying at the B&B you ran.

431
00:22:15,843 --> 00:22:18,043
And that was in 2017.

432
00:22:18,043 --> 00:22:20,363
What can I say?

433
00:22:20,363 --> 00:22:23,443
The internet has opened
my eyes, Idris.

434
00:22:23,443 --> 00:22:26,123
I have truly woken up.

435
00:22:26,123 --> 00:22:29,123
And not just about the
Black Lives Matter hooligans,

436
00:22:29,123 --> 00:22:31,603
but those dirty money-grabbing...

437
00:22:31,603 --> 00:22:32,843
No, Mum!

438
00:22:32,843 --> 00:22:34,963
Well, I could show you
some websites...

439
00:22:34,963 --> 00:22:36,843
No, no, no, no,
I don't want to hear it.

440
00:22:36,843 --> 00:22:38,323
It's what I'm talking about.

441
00:22:38,323 --> 00:22:43,283
I-I respect all people, all faiths,
all races, all sexualities.

442
00:22:43,283 --> 00:22:44,563
I want you to leave.

443
00:22:44,563 --> 00:22:46,803
Why are you being like this?

444
00:22:48,403 --> 00:22:50,723
It's like your father
all over again.

445
00:22:50,723 --> 00:22:52,123
Oh, don't bring Dad into this.

446
00:22:52,123 --> 00:22:55,363
If it wasn't for me, you would've
wasted your life on that man,

447
00:22:55,363 --> 00:22:57,003
working for his fucking food bank.

448
00:22:57,003 --> 00:22:59,683
It was me who saved you,
made you come to London and try

449
00:22:59,683 --> 00:23:01,203
and get a job in the city.

450
00:23:01,203 --> 00:23:05,843
Not that sandal-wearing
drip of a father!

451
00:23:05,843 --> 00:23:08,163
I'm glad he's dead.

452
00:23:08,163 --> 00:23:10,323
Dad's not dead, I spoke to him
on the phone last week.

453
00:23:10,323 --> 00:23:12,083
Well, he's dead to me.

454
00:23:12,083 --> 00:23:13,763
Dead!

455
00:23:13,763 --> 00:23:15,763
Ever since I passed his allotment

456
00:23:15,763 --> 00:23:20,803
and saw that climate change poster
in the window of his shed.

457
00:23:20,803 --> 00:23:23,163
Don't you want to aspire
to more than him?

458
00:23:23,163 --> 00:23:26,323
Not like this.
Not by selling out my principles.

459
00:23:26,323 --> 00:23:27,963
Please, Mum, leave.

460
00:23:29,683 --> 00:23:31,003
Fine.

461
00:23:33,003 --> 00:23:34,443
You're still my boy.

462
00:23:36,563 --> 00:23:39,363
Here, I've been knitting this.

463
00:23:39,363 --> 00:23:40,803
It's a blanket.

464
00:23:40,803 --> 00:23:44,483
Hoped you'd wrapped my
first-born grandchild up in it,

465
00:23:44,483 --> 00:23:46,163
tight and cosy.

466
00:23:48,443 --> 00:23:49,763
Jesus Christ!

467
00:24:01,243 --> 00:24:03,483
I suppose you're going
to point out, "I told you so".

468
00:24:03,483 --> 00:24:04,683
No.

469
00:24:04,683 --> 00:24:07,123
But only because it applies
to everything I say.

470
00:24:09,483 --> 00:24:11,923
MUSIC: Ever Fallen In Love
by The Buzzcocks

471
00:24:17,443 --> 00:24:20,403
# You spurn my natural emotions... #

472
00:24:20,403 --> 00:24:22,763
How the fuck does he know
where I live?

473
00:24:24,043 --> 00:24:25,323
SHE GROANS

474
00:24:28,403 --> 00:24:30,363
# And if I start a commotion... #

475
00:24:30,363 --> 00:24:32,363
CRASH

476
00:24:32,363 --> 00:24:34,163
LOUD GROANING

477
00:24:37,403 --> 00:24:39,243
You fucking doughnut.

478
00:24:39,243 --> 00:24:40,923
SHE CHUCKLES

479
00:24:40,923 --> 00:24:42,883
# Ever fallen in love with someone

480
00:24:42,883 --> 00:24:45,523
# Ever fallen in love,
in love with someone

481
00:24:45,523 --> 00:24:48,203
# Ever fallen in love,
in love with someone

482
00:24:48,203 --> 00:24:50,203
# You shouldn't have
fallen in love with

483
00:24:52,003 --> 00:24:54,483
# I can't see much of a future

484
00:24:54,483 --> 00:24:58,003
# Unless we find out what's
to blame, what a shame

485
00:25:02,403 --> 00:25:05,043
# And we won't be
together much longer

486
00:25:05,043 --> 00:25:08,683
# Unless we realise that
we are the same... #