‐ Oh my god.
‐ The war between the Yokahama and Ozu campaigns continues,
with the Yokahama camp now openly accusing Counselor Ozu
of being connected to the assassination of Ken Takahara.
‐ Hey.
I was watching that.
‐ You know, I can't remember the last day I had off.
‐ Jesus.
How'd we go from killing people to being in a yogurt commercial?
It's gross seeing you get this soft.
Now let's make sure you don't get dirty!
‐ Exactly.
‐ Who the hell is this?
‐ We need to talk.
Sorry to show up uninvited,
but your uncle's a tough man to schedule time with.
I tried to give you a call,
but we've apprehended the prime suspect in Ken Takahara's murder.
‐ Wait, you've arrested Counselor Ozu?
‐ What? Ozu?
N‐no.
He's a Yakuza boss who goes by the name "The Rooster."
He's the only person with direct ties to every other suspect.
‐ Hey! He's talking about our guy!
‐ We booked him, but we have no way to hold him.
‐ What do you mean you can't hold him?
‐ Because he's connected.
No judge is gonna take the case.
No prosecutor is going to risk their career going after him.
The Rooster has blackmail on every politician in Tokyo.
We can't even hold him for 24 hours.
They're releasing him this morning.
‐ This morning? This is outrageous.
‐ Amazing what a few hundred well‐placed Polaroids can do for you.
‐ So that's it? You got the guy, but he can't be prosecuted?
How convenient.
Has anybody even looked into whether he's connected to Ozu?
I wouldn't put it past him to hire Yakuza to do his dirty work.
‐ I'm sorry, Miss Yokohama,
but there's no evidence to prove that.
‐ According to who?
‐ Well, uh, according to our sources
and police work.
‐ Guess that's‐that's a joke, right?
‐ The bottom line is that we're just as frustrated as you are.
‐ They're releasing him?
‐ Oh, bud, this could be good for us!
Hey! Get out of here, cat!
Shoo! Shoo! Scram!
‐ Well, that explains my allergies.
‐ Bradley! Come on. Get away from there!
‐ Aww, what a sweet cat.
I wasn't able to bring mine when I moved to Tokyo.
‐ Uh, he doesn't like getting picked up!
‐ Oh, uh, okay.
Sor‐‐ I'm sorry, I'm‐‐
but I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
I have a very busy day and I just‐‐
Okay?
‐ Absolutely, Miss Yokohama. ‐ What?
‐ We realize the stress you're under
and want to let you know the Tokyo PD
is doing the best it can.
‐ You know, it's a shame the police have become so ineffective.
You almost wish there was somebody who could clean things up in this town.
‐ Have a nice day, ma'am.
‐ Monkey?
She's hiding something. I know it.
‐ She's a politician.
They're all hiding something.
You're just jealous of her house and that fat‐ass cat.
‐ That's a cute cat.
And Akiko is an entitled princess
pretending to be some champion of the people.
And you let her just push us around.
‐ Haruka, you don't want her kind of trouble. Trust me.
Come on. You really think she's connected to The Rooster?
To all of this?
I'm sorry, how could you be confused by this?
It's like criminal chain of command 101.
The Rooster hired the Accountant,
who paid the Old Fish Lady,
who got her tacky‐ass twins to leverage the army guy to,
and‐and this is the important part that I really want to,
you know, just make sure you hear:
Send a bunch of assholes to kill me.
Yeah, no, and kill your entire family too.
So why don't we stop tanning our assholes up here
and go kill the only guy on this chart
who isn't already dead.
Uh... right, no. As soon as the cops let him go.
Then we'll kill him.
Okay, so we've been following The Rooster for weeks now,
and we know he's the top, right?
That cop just confirmed it.
And the priest said once we kill the top of the chain,
then I ascend.
Or evolve. Or, uh, turn into a big ball of light or some shit.
I don't know, whatever.
Look, anyway, what I'm trying to say is,
I‐I think this might be my last day on Earth.
Ooh. You know, I gotta admit,
I might actually miss this.
And yeah, at first I‐‐ well, I definitely hated you.
Well, I mean, I don't even like dogs,
so this was a real challenge.
But, you know what,
it's been a heck of a ride, man.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, uh,
I'm happy I met you. You know?
Though watching you around women is truly nauseating.
I mean, you do not play it cool, man.
You're as smooth as sandpaper.
Oh hell, look at this guy.
He looks like if Roy Orbison had sex with a bag of salt.
And yeah, no, I know that's a reference
you'll never appreciate.
But do you understand how frustrating it is
to waste all this gold on someone who just learned
what a goddamn fork is?
I'm just saying that if you plan on hanging out
with other humans after I'm gone,
some basic knowledge of pop culture is gonna help.
I mean, killing people is dope
but so is knowing who Tom Petty is.
Who's Tom Petty?
I mean, he's like if, uh... if weed was a person. You know?
Wa‐wait. I forget. Have we talked about weed yet?
‐ Come on, faster, old man.
I'm in a hurry.
‐ I cannot.
Otherwise, you might get nicked.
‐ Oh, goddammit!
Oh wow.
See, now, this is why I always tell them to use the clippers.
‐ Alright. Off I go.
Up, up, and away.
Should be any minute now.
Uh‐‐
Maybe it takes an hour?
I‐I mean, logistically that makes sense, right?
It's a really, really far way to go, so‐‐
It should take a while.
I‐I think it'd be crazy actually if it didn't.
You know what, maybe it's like the DMV up there.
They gotta be backed up.
So. Wait, maybe they give you this time to reflect and shit.
You know? What if this is like confession?
What are you look‐‐ Holy shit!
Is that a ghost? Can he hear me? Can he‐‐
Hello!
That prick had a double!
Of course!
I knew it was too easy!
This is the guy we're supposed to kill!
Sneaky shit!
Okay, maybe this time, go for the head, huh?
Okay, shit. Shit. There's, uh, so much more to say.
I'll make it quick. take care of yourself, man.
Make a good life, okay.
Okay, now take a shot!
There we go.
Bullseye!
Dude, you've really gotten good at this.
Ah, shit! What else, what else.
Um, you know, you're gonna wanna eat your vegetables, say your prayers.
Uh, let's see, uh, drink more water!
Somebody told me that. I‐I can't remember who,
it was probably bullshit, but it might not be.
You know? It probably can't hurt!
Um. Okay, finish him off.
I am this close to retirement!
Run! Brothers. Run away!
Run away! Oh god!
‐ Nothing's ever simple.
‐ When I found out who was driving that van,
I made sure the person was held accountable for their actions.
Even though it had nothing to do with me!
And yet, here we have my opponent
refusing to fire his niece
after the wild accusations she made against me.
But what else would you expect
from the same people who support a cop killer!
‐ I'm turning this garbage off.
‐ I told you something like this was going to happen.
We've given him ammunition,
of course he's going to use it against us.
‐ I'm not letting that crook control the narrative of this campaign!
I got this.
‐ Come on. Monkey, we gotta make sure we get all of them!
If we miss even one, I could be here forever.
And‐and I don't think you want that, do you?
I mean, just shoot the slow one at least.
‐ They don't pay us enough for this crap!
‐ Ohh! Ooh!
‐ Oh my god.
‐ Okay, alright, bye for real this time.
And, uh, say a prayer for me.
I mean, I'm not religious, but might as well hedge my bets, right?
Should be coming to get me any second now.
Goddammit!
Did that not count 'cause it wasn't us?
I better not get stuck here on a technicality.
We probably should've asked that damn priest more questions
about how this whole thing works.
Wonder if we can Google it.
‐ Oh god, the monkey!
Run!
‐ Run!
Okay, here we go!
I got a good feeling about this one.
Never thought I'd be enlightened in a public bathroom,
but here we are.
Aw, come on, man, just shoot all the stalls!
You know? Boom, boom, boom.
Spend the bullets, save the time, right?
Oh man, I wish I had more time.
You know, I used to draw a lot.
It was my passion as a kid. I was pretty decent, too.
I once drew a bowl of fruit you could have eaten out of.
You know, sometimes I wonder how many people would still be alive
if I'd chosen to draw fruit instead.
‐ No, no, no, Monkey.
Wa‐wa‐wait, wait. I've seen the news.
You only kill killers.
I'm no killer. Look at me.
I'm an actor.
‐ Oh boy, oh boy.
‐ You're looking for the short one.
The short one is the real Rooster.
I have children.
Please. Let me go.
‐ Wait.
‐ Okay. Here we go.
This has got to be the last one.
‐ Before you do anything,
know that you'd be making a big mistake killing me.
You see this?
I have information on everybody!
The answer you're looking for is in this box.
‐ What the hell?
Was that you?
See! I told you this was the real dude. They're all after him!
‐ I never said anything, asshole!
‐ I don't care! The boss wants you dead!
‐ Shit! Aw, shit, shit, shit!
Don't let them get the kill! The last bullet wins!
Oh, son of a bitch, maybe I need to confess to ascend.
Uh, okay, what am I leaving out?
Oh, okay! I was in love with a man once!
I never told him how I felt!
Not a month goes by that I don't think of him.
Okay, point is, never leave things unsaid!
You can still see me, can't you?
Aw, shit!
What about now?
Like, am I starting to disappear?
You know, maybe I'm down at 90 percent?
Shit!
Alright, let's go.
‐ Well, that's three less scumbags we have to worry about.
At least this monkey takes out the bad guys.
I'll give him that.
‐ Jesus.
Leave it to you to blur the lines between what's right
and what's wrong.
‐ You know, you've been busting my balls all morning.
If you have something to accuse me of, just come out and say it.
‐ Okay.
Your idea of police work and mine are pretty different.
You steal evidence,
you root for a vigilante,
and you still haven't explained about your past.
If I can't trust my partner,
then I can't do my job.
That's just how I'm built.
‐ You want the truth?
Fine.
Let's finish this up and go get a coffee.
Haruka, what you don't understand is that
Tokyo was even more corrupt back then.
Everybody, I mean everybody, was on the take.
It was the only way you could get anything done.
Hell, probably the same now, but just not so overt.
Anyway, new mayor, young DA,
they decided to make an example.
My first partner and I got caught up in a sting
for doing nothing different than anyone else.
But they threw the book at us.
My partner had a young child, was newly married,
and I was single.
So I took the rap for both of us.
They gave me suspension. Demoted me.
Marked my record forever.
‐ What about your partner?
‐ He's doing fine. ‐ But who was it?
‐ It's not important.
He was a shitty partner.
Unlike Hiroshi.
Unlike you.
Masta, another whiskey.
Make that two whiskeys.
‐ You feel tired? Tell me about it.
I'm so raw right now, I'm a nub.
Now you wanna go to the bank?
Why? That's off‐mission.
That guy was going to say anything to get you not to shoot him.
"Ooh, Monkey, the secret to everything is in this box."
What the hell does that even mean?
Do you have any idea how emotionally taxing
this day has been for me?
So no, I don't want to go on your little scavenger hunt, okay.
It's a fool's errand.
Besides, how would we even get in there?
You killed every double that could possibly walk us into the‐‐
How far do you think he got?
‐ Oh, come on. I thought we were good!
‐ Yeah, well, we lied, dipshit.
‐ Hey! W‐what's this? A key?
I've never seen it before.
‐ This day is never going to end.
‐ Fine, fine!
Can I at least finish my noodles?
Play it cool, play it cool.
Security guards are cool.
Everybody's cool.
I'm cool.
‐ You know, Monkey, I actually have something I want to say real quick, okay.
I feel like I've done a lot of personal growth today,
and you've given me zero.
So I am done opening up to you.
You're clearly not mature enough.
Nothing?
You don't have anything you wanna say to me?
And your silence has spoken volumes.
I read you loud and clear, pal.
Okay, fine! Then I guess we're just doing a bank heist!
God forbid we make a human connection here.
I think that went pretty smoothly! Don't you?
Whoopsie‐daisy.
‐ Oh, Jesus. Look at this guy.
He can't even hold on to the key with those greasy little sausages
he calls fingers.
‐ I congratulate you, Monkey.
You have managed to accomplish what the police,
the Yakuza, and all the most powerful people in Japan
failed to.
Unfortunately, this key is worthless.
You think I would trust one of those morons
with something so valuable.
I believe
you're looking for this one.
‐ Wait.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on here!
‐ Did you actually believe
you could outsmart someone like me?
Holy shit!
Toilet Rooster is the real Rooster!
Buddy, you were right about the box!
I'm really getting out of here!
You stupid animal!
‐ Uh, okay, okay, okay. This is it.
Oh shit, uh, my last moments on Earth,
or whatever this is.
There's so much I need you to do‐‐
Okay, I've got a daughter!
You've got to find her!
And you gotta make her understand
that I loved her!
Alright? And‐and‐and,
and don't let her marry someone like me, 'cause that happens!
And I don't even wanna think about what kind
of daddy issues she's dealing with! So‐‐
Okay, uh, listen, there's some money in a bank that I want you to give her!
I‐I‐‐ you gotta hire a lawyer, too,
'cause I never got around to doing a will,
so you're going to have to be the executor.
I don't... I‐I‐I don't want her to spend it all when she's 21!
Make her go to college!
I‐I never had a son.
But if I did, I'd want him to be just like you!
Also, I love you!
Damn it. ‐ I really do.
‐ Would you just die already!
‐ Okay. Goodbye forever, my furry little friend!
Augh, this isn't happening, is it?
Oh, I don't deserve peace.
I'm just gonna eat shit for the rest of eternity.
Nothing ever comes easy for me. Never has.
Why would death be any different? I mean, the whole day was pointless.
And still the Monkey says nothing.
No, fine. Of course.
No, no, no, no. Work‐work‐work with you. That's all it is.
Well, I guess the only good thing to come out this godforsaken day
is that we've now killed everyone that's a threat
in the entire city of Tokyo.
So we can just stroll back to your girlfriend's house
and eat persimmons.
For eternity!
‐ Hey. It's me.
The Rooster is dead.
This has gone on too long.
You could not cauterize the wound,
and now this monkey has the box.
Since it's evident none of you can handle the task at hand,
I've called someone who can.
A fixer.
A precise instrument.
‐ Who do you think he called?
Attention, all crew and passengers,
please prepare for landing.
Thank you.
‐ I'm so sorry, ma'am,
but we're going to need you to put your tray table up for landing.
I can help you with those bottles if you like.
‐ I am so sorry, ma'am,
but it looks like your room won't be ready for another hour.
Please feel free to have a complimentary drink at the bar.
Wow.
You must really like tomatoes.
Hah. Let me guess.
Long day?
Let me buy you another.