1
00:00:01,022 --> 00:00:04,984
[pages rifling]

2
00:00:14,744 --> 00:00:17,121
♪

3
00:00:23,503 --> 00:00:27,882
‐ I, Balder the Brave, have assembled
the best warriors in all of Asgard,

4
00:00:27,882 --> 00:00:30,677
to defend the sanctity of our land.

5
00:00:30,677 --> 00:00:35,598
We must find the evil sorcerer
who madeth this tear in our sky

6
00:00:36,099 --> 00:00:39,936
and sullies our beauteous realm
with unholy artifacts‐‐

7
00:00:39,936 --> 00:00:42,814
[machine whirring]

8
00:00:49,529 --> 00:00:50,572
[body thuds on ground]

9
00:00:51,906 --> 00:00:56,035
♪

10
00:00:56,035 --> 00:00:57,537
[MODOK laughs]

11
00:00:57,537 --> 00:01:02,000
‐ What else can I launch down
this trash portal I built to Asgard?

12
00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,293
‐ I don't understand,

13
00:01:03,293 --> 00:01:04,669
how is this gonna
help you destroy Monica

14
00:01:04,669 --> 00:01:06,170
and reclaim your title
as Scientist Supreme?

15
00:01:06,170 --> 00:01:09,048
‐ It won't, it just makes me feel great
to screw with Thor.

16
00:01:09,048 --> 00:01:13,011
Every time I feel sad, I throw
a string cheese wrapper down there.

17
00:01:13,011 --> 00:01:14,220
[eating noisily]

18
00:01:14,220 --> 00:01:15,096
[groaning]
[stomach rumbles]

19
00:01:15,096 --> 00:01:17,640
If only there was a way
not to eat the string cheese.

20
00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:20,727
As for Monica,
I have a diabolically intricate plan.

21
00:01:20,727 --> 00:01:23,146
First, I wanna chuck one of these
heavy mothers into the portal.

22
00:01:23,146 --> 00:01:24,189
‐ Oh, can't let you do that.

23
00:01:24,189 --> 00:01:26,524
I was elected
the office fire safety captain.

24
00:01:26,524 --> 00:01:28,484
I take fire very seriously.

25
00:01:28,860 --> 00:01:31,362
Gorgeous fire, sexy fire,

26
00:01:31,362 --> 00:01:33,615
flickering like a dancing woman!

27
00:01:33,615 --> 00:01:36,284
An elusive beauty you'd destroy
the world just to please!

28
00:01:36,284 --> 00:01:38,453
‐ Yeah, yeah, fire's awesome.
Now hand me that milk.

29
00:01:38,453 --> 00:01:41,789
This trashcan here is a portal
directly into my stomach.

30
00:01:41,789 --> 00:01:46,294
That way when my mouth is busy eating,
other food gets VIP stomach access.

31
00:01:46,294 --> 00:01:48,755
See? Why eat harder
when you can eat smart‐‐

32
00:01:48,755 --> 00:01:49,964
[retching]

33
00:01:49,964 --> 00:01:52,008
‐ Oh. Oh no, puke makes me‐‐
‐ Gary, no!

34
00:01:52,008 --> 00:01:54,219
♪ dramatic theme playing ♪

35
00:01:54,219 --> 00:01:57,889
♪

36
00:01:58,556 --> 00:02:01,851
‐ So, MODOK, I know
you've been ignoring my emails.

37
00:02:01,851 --> 00:02:04,145
‐ Oh, I meant to tell you
I have a new email now.

38
00:02:04,145 --> 00:02:06,773
MODOK at Austin‐sucks‐butts‐dot‐edu.

39
00:02:06,773 --> 00:02:08,066
‐ Why would it be an edu?

40
00:02:08,066 --> 00:02:10,443
‐ 'Cause I just took you to school!

41
00:02:10,443 --> 00:02:11,861
[laughs dryly]

42
00:02:11,861 --> 00:02:14,280
‐ Clearly you're not responding
to my management style

43
00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:16,741
so from here on out
I'll be delivering you orders

44
00:02:16,741 --> 00:02:19,077
via my sweet little puppy, Sherlock.

45
00:02:19,077 --> 00:02:22,413
[high‐pitched voice] "Hey. I'm Sherlock,
and people are complaining

46
00:02:22,413 --> 00:02:24,874
"that you're not delivering
their packages,

47
00:02:24,874 --> 00:02:28,753
which makes me think
you're low‐key not doing your job."

48
00:02:28,753 --> 00:02:31,673
‐ First of all, Sherlock is
an absolute little gentleman.

49
00:02:31,673 --> 00:02:33,049
He would never say that.

50
00:02:33,049 --> 00:02:35,718
Second of all, look at his little scarf,
oh my gosh!

51
00:02:35,718 --> 00:02:37,762
Third of all, he would never say that.
Now get out of here!

52
00:02:37,762 --> 00:02:40,598
‐ [normal voice]
If you can't deliver the mail,
we're gonna have to demote you.

53
00:02:40,598 --> 00:02:42,934
And I'd hate to demote you,

54
00:02:42,934 --> 00:02:46,521
because then I'd have
to figure out what's lower than this.

55
00:02:47,230 --> 00:02:50,191
Hey, Dillman!
Sherlock's got some news for you.

56
00:02:50,191 --> 00:02:53,236
[high‐pitched voice] "We saw some
inappropriate images on your hard drive.

57
00:02:53,236 --> 00:02:57,115
Pretty ruff‐ruff stuff!
The police are on their way!"

58
00:02:57,115 --> 00:03:00,410
‐ Gary, I'm feeling
some good rage right now.

59
00:03:00,410 --> 00:03:01,828
Let's channel it into this.

60
00:03:01,828 --> 00:03:03,955
Behold:
a battle suit proportional to my head,

61
00:03:03,955 --> 00:03:06,291
giving me the power
to crush Austin and Monica

62
00:03:06,291 --> 00:03:09,043
and finally experience
what it's like to have thighs!

63
00:03:09,043 --> 00:03:11,296
Thick thighs save lives!

64
00:03:11,713 --> 00:03:14,299
Or in the case, end them.

65
00:03:14,299 --> 00:03:15,592
[phone buzzes]

66
00:03:15,592 --> 00:03:16,843
Oh my God, it's Jodie.

67
00:03:16,843 --> 00:03:18,887
This is the first time she's called
since the separation.

68
00:03:18,887 --> 00:03:20,889
This is a chance to impress her.

69
00:03:20,889 --> 00:03:22,432
[shallow breaths]

70
00:03:22,432 --> 00:03:24,767
How's it hangin', duder?

71
00:03:24,767 --> 00:03:26,394
I'm blowing it, Gary.
Think of something.

72
00:03:26,394 --> 00:03:28,438
‐ Oh! Say hello!

73
00:03:28,438 --> 00:03:29,606
‐ Har‐low.

74
00:03:29,606 --> 00:03:31,316
JODIE:
Oh, thank God. MODOK, I need you.

75
00:03:31,316 --> 00:03:32,650
‐ Gary, it's phone sex.

76
00:03:32,650 --> 00:03:33,943
‐ [gasps]
The sex you're best at!

77
00:03:33,943 --> 00:03:35,778
‐ It's not phone sex, MODOK.

78
00:03:35,778 --> 00:03:38,364
Lou released a bunch of doves
at his Bar Mitzvah rehearsal,

79
00:03:38,364 --> 00:03:40,366
and now there's bird shit
all over the bimah.

80
00:03:40,366 --> 00:03:42,076
The Rabbi is furious.

81
00:03:42,076 --> 00:03:43,536
‐ Nice. My turn.

82
00:03:43,536 --> 00:03:45,622
I take off your bra using only my teeth.

83
00:03:45,622 --> 00:03:47,457
And then my throat starts to close up.

84
00:03:47,457 --> 00:03:49,709
I'm clearly allergic
to something in the fabric.

85
00:03:49,709 --> 00:03:51,920
I fumble at your panties,
but it's too late.

86
00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:53,796
I lose consciousness‐‐

87
00:03:53,796 --> 00:03:55,840
‐ Oh my God,
just get down here and help me.

88
00:03:59,052 --> 00:04:00,803
‐ Lou, what the hell
happened in there?

89
00:04:00,803 --> 00:04:03,306
‐ One dove corrupted the others.
It's not my fault!

90
00:04:03,306 --> 00:04:07,018
‐ The Rabbi doesn't want you doing
weird magic tricks at your Bar Mitzvah!

91
00:04:07,018 --> 00:04:08,853
‐ But magic's sorta my whole deal.

92
00:04:08,853 --> 00:04:11,064
I'm gonna pull rabbits out of yarmulkes,

93
00:04:11,064 --> 00:04:12,315
yarmulkes out of rabbits.

94
00:04:12,315 --> 00:04:14,442
And for my final trick:

95
00:04:14,442 --> 00:04:16,569
I resurrect my foreskin...

96
00:04:16,569 --> 00:04:18,571
[spooky voice]
from the dead!

97
00:04:18,571 --> 00:04:20,990
‐ Aww, honey, we talked about this.

98
00:04:20,990 --> 00:04:22,325
Your foreskin's in Hell.

99
00:04:22,325 --> 00:04:23,701
‐ Where it belongs!

100
00:04:23,701 --> 00:04:26,579
‐ And to celebrate
my Mexican heritage, Mom,

101
00:04:26,579 --> 00:04:28,456
I'll be a‐click‐clackin' around

102
00:04:28,456 --> 00:04:30,458
in the heels
from your quinceañera.

103
00:04:30,458 --> 00:04:34,212
‐ I didn't have a quinceañera,
and those aren't my shoes.

104
00:04:34,212 --> 00:04:37,465
But if one or two of these ideas
makes you happy‐‐

105
00:04:37,465 --> 00:04:38,883
‐ Oh, I'm just warming up.

106
00:04:38,883 --> 00:04:41,094
I want a loose hot dog bar
with all the works,

107
00:04:41,094 --> 00:04:43,972
which means nothing
but loose hot dogs and the water.

108
00:04:43,972 --> 00:04:46,975
I want my boysmaids
to wear denim jumpsuits.

109
00:04:46,975 --> 00:04:50,019
Oh, also I want boysmaids.
And this is non‐negotiable:

110
00:04:50,019 --> 00:04:52,605
I want Great‐Grandma Esther
to do a reading

111
00:04:52,605 --> 00:04:55,775
from my erotic poetry
about the green M&M.

112
00:04:55,775 --> 00:04:58,570
And those are just my safe ideas.

113
00:04:58,570 --> 00:05:00,071
‐ [sighs] InStyle magazine
was gonna do

114
00:05:00,071 --> 00:05:02,532
a feature on me planning
this Bar Mitzvah.

115
00:05:02,532 --> 00:05:03,658
Maybe I should just cancel it.

116
00:05:03,658 --> 00:05:04,909
‐ I'm all over it, trust me.

117
00:05:04,909 --> 00:05:06,619
The title for that article is gonna be:

118
00:05:06,619 --> 00:05:09,747
"Normal Boy
Has Normal Bar Mitzvah."

119
00:05:09,747 --> 00:05:11,666
[cooing, squawks]

120
00:05:11,666 --> 00:05:15,545
‐ [whispers] Shh‐shh‐shh.
You're gonna be a big bright star.

121
00:05:16,504 --> 00:05:17,881
‐ Good luck.

122
00:05:17,881 --> 00:05:20,049
‐ I usually only seamstress
on the weekends,

123
00:05:20,049 --> 00:05:22,343
but this is lovely‐‐
‐ Shut up, Gary.

124
00:05:22,343 --> 00:05:24,178
I'm trying to listen to my weird son.

125
00:05:24,178 --> 00:05:26,097
‐ "Ninety percent
of magic's in the flair."

126
00:05:26,097 --> 00:05:27,265
David Copperfield said that.

127
00:05:27,265 --> 00:05:29,726
"Ninety percent of magic's
in the hair."

128
00:05:29,726 --> 00:05:31,978
David Copperfield's
hair‐plug guy said that.

129
00:05:31,978 --> 00:05:34,230
Now look in your pocket.
[squishing]

130
00:05:34,230 --> 00:05:36,107
‐ Did you put creamed corn
in my pocket?

131
00:05:36,107 --> 00:05:38,276
‐ A trick and a treat.

132
00:05:38,276 --> 00:05:42,071
‐ Gary, go get more fire extinguishers
while I tamp down my son's individuality.

133
00:05:42,071 --> 00:05:43,907
‐ Yeah, I'm probably gonna go
light something on fire.

134
00:05:43,907 --> 00:05:46,659
‐ Hey, buddy, whatcha workin' on?

135
00:05:46,659 --> 00:05:49,287
Got any more magic for your old pappy?

136
00:05:49,287 --> 00:05:52,165
‐ Wow. To be honest, I thought
you absolutely hated my magic.

137
00:05:52,165 --> 00:05:54,500
‐ Seems like I pulled
a magic trick on you then.

138
00:05:54,500 --> 00:05:56,127
Let me see your magic gear.

139
00:05:56,127 --> 00:05:58,838
‐ Oh my, I don't even have much today.

140
00:05:58,838 --> 00:06:00,423
Just a barebones kit.

141
00:06:00,423 --> 00:06:01,549
Magic hat.
‐ Of course.

142
00:06:01,549 --> 00:06:02,342
‐ Wand.
‐ Classic.

143
00:06:02,342 --> 00:06:03,426
‐ Backup wand.
‐ Smart.

144
00:06:03,426 --> 00:06:04,594
‐ Deck of cards.
‐ Love it.

145
00:06:04,594 --> 00:06:06,471
‐ 140 handkerchiefs.
‐ The best!

146
00:06:06,471 --> 00:06:08,306
‐ Open can of corn.
‐ Necessary?

147
00:06:08,306 --> 00:06:10,099
‐ Sword of mystery!
‐ Mysterious.

148
00:06:10,099 --> 00:06:11,809
‐ And a photo of you guys.
‐ Aww.

149
00:06:11,809 --> 00:06:13,478
‐ Because there's nothing more magical

150
00:06:13,478 --> 00:06:15,939
than the love and support
of a good family‐‐

151
00:06:15,939 --> 00:06:17,148
[MODOK grunts]
My gear!

152
00:06:17,148 --> 00:06:19,150
‐ No magic at your Bar Mitzvah!

153
00:06:19,150 --> 00:06:21,444
LOU: But‐‐
‐ Why can't you just be normal like‐‐

154
00:06:21,986 --> 00:06:23,488
[moans]

155
00:06:23,488 --> 00:06:24,906
Normal like‐‐

156
00:06:24,906 --> 00:06:26,824
‐ Argh!

157
00:06:26,824 --> 00:06:28,368
‐ Normal like‐‐

158
00:06:28,826 --> 00:06:29,827
[gobbling]

159
00:06:29,827 --> 00:06:31,496
Just no magic. That's final!

160
00:06:31,496 --> 00:06:33,414
‐ If you think
I'm afraid of getting dirty,

161
00:06:33,414 --> 00:06:35,875
you clearly haven't read my letters
to the green M&M!

162
00:06:35,875 --> 00:06:38,336
Who threw away this perfectly good
swirling vortex‐‐

163
00:06:38,336 --> 00:06:39,921
Ahhh!
‐ No, no, no, no!

164
00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:41,756
Last night at Hardee's, now this!

165
00:06:41,756 --> 00:06:45,927
Can there be one day this week
where I don't dive into a garbage can?

166
00:06:45,927 --> 00:06:47,595
Don't worry, Lou.
I'm coming!

167
00:06:48,721 --> 00:06:51,266
♪

168
00:06:51,266 --> 00:06:52,350
‐ Ohh!

169
00:06:52,350 --> 00:06:53,351
[laughs]

170
00:06:53,351 --> 00:06:56,062
‐ Oh phew!
Lou landed safely and softly.

171
00:06:56,062 --> 00:06:57,230
And now for me as well‐‐
[neighs]

172
00:06:57,230 --> 00:06:59,023
[grunting]

173
00:06:59,899 --> 00:07:01,526
[groans]

174
00:07:01,526 --> 00:07:05,029
Eat your heart out,
Kerri Strug and Sully Sullenberger.

175
00:07:05,029 --> 00:07:06,948
There's a new lander in town.

176
00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:10,493
‐ Who knew my Narnia
was just a trashcan away?

177
00:07:10,493 --> 00:07:12,871
Oh, it even has fairies!

178
00:07:12,871 --> 00:07:14,914
Ah. He's wonderful!
[blade scraping]

179
00:07:14,914 --> 00:07:16,124
‐ Gimme your sneakers!

180
00:07:16,124 --> 00:07:18,126
‐ Stay there!
I'm coming to get you!

181
00:07:18,126 --> 00:07:20,753
‐ Uh‐oh. Company.
I'll be back for those sneakers!

182
00:07:20,753 --> 00:07:22,964
‐ Goodbye, fairy, I'll miss you!

183
00:07:22,964 --> 00:07:24,757
Even the stabbing!

184
00:07:24,757 --> 00:07:26,634
Hey! My magic stuff!
[creatures growling]

185
00:07:28,219 --> 00:07:29,304
Ahh!

186
00:07:29,304 --> 00:07:31,222
Dad!
‐ Kobold goblins!

187
00:07:31,222 --> 00:07:32,640
Lou! No!

188
00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:34,100
Ohh! Ah!

189
00:07:34,976 --> 00:07:37,437
‐ Aw man, Skechers Step Ups?

190
00:07:37,437 --> 00:07:38,688
That's a stab!

191
00:07:40,857 --> 00:07:42,859
[chomping]

192
00:07:42,859 --> 00:07:44,235
[groans]

193
00:07:44,736 --> 00:07:46,654
‐ Goat! Ahh!
[bleats]

194
00:07:46,654 --> 00:07:48,239
Oh, it's one of those fainting goats!

195
00:07:48,239 --> 00:07:49,240
[creaking, clanking]

196
00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:51,743
Ugh, dang goat chewed my wires up!

197
00:07:51,743 --> 00:07:52,785
I can fix this.

198
00:07:52,785 --> 00:07:54,704
[straining]
Oh, my back.

199
00:07:54,704 --> 00:07:57,373
The one thing on my body
I can't reach besides everything else.

200
00:07:57,373 --> 00:07:59,417
[high‐pitched shriek in distance]
Lou! My son!

201
00:08:00,335 --> 00:08:01,961
[grunting]

202
00:08:05,381 --> 00:08:07,217
[shrieking]

203
00:08:07,217 --> 00:08:10,011
I got twigs in my
just‐threaded eyebrows for you?

204
00:08:10,303 --> 00:08:12,222
[bleats]
Well, at least you're friendly.

205
00:08:12,222 --> 00:08:13,640
[shrieks]
Ahh!

206
00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:16,017
I can't concentrate on goats right now.

207
00:08:16,017 --> 00:08:17,936
I'm trying to figure out
a way to get around.

208
00:08:20,730 --> 00:08:24,234
Oh, hell yeah!
In Asgard, goats can fly!

209
00:08:24,234 --> 00:08:25,777
[bleats]

210
00:08:25,777 --> 00:08:28,446
I said "goats can fly"!

211
00:08:28,446 --> 00:08:31,574
[sighs] Did I get
the only non‐flying goats in Asgard?

212
00:08:31,574 --> 00:08:32,617
[bleats]

213
00:08:32,617 --> 00:08:34,285
Should I switch them out?

214
00:08:34,285 --> 00:08:36,663
No, no, I can't spend
all day switching goats.

215
00:08:36,663 --> 00:08:38,748
Just gotta commit to these.

216
00:08:38,748 --> 00:08:40,708
[bleating]
Dammit!

217
00:08:43,503 --> 00:08:44,754
I'm so nervous for Lou,

218
00:08:44,754 --> 00:08:47,382
I can barely eat
this old slice of CPK pizza.

219
00:08:48,383 --> 00:08:50,677
OMG, it's Lou's A. I. M. visitor badge.

220
00:08:50,677 --> 00:08:52,637
We're on the right path, goats!
That's right.

221
00:08:52,637 --> 00:08:55,223
I refuse to name you
because I'll probably eat you.

222
00:08:55,223 --> 00:08:57,850
Goatye! Billy the Kid!
Dammit, I love them now!

223
00:08:57,850 --> 00:09:00,186
[cell phone buzzes]
Oh crap, it's Jodie.

224
00:09:00,186 --> 00:09:02,730
Hey, girl. Things are all good here.

225
00:09:02,730 --> 00:09:05,900
Well, seems like a natural stopping point
for us to hop off the phone. Bye‐‐

226
00:09:05,900 --> 00:09:08,111
JODIE [on phone] No, wait!
I'm just calling to see how Lou's doing.

227
00:09:08,111 --> 00:09:10,321
I know how important
the Bar Mitzvah is to him,

228
00:09:10,321 --> 00:09:11,823
and he's so fragile.

229
00:09:11,823 --> 00:09:13,616
‐ Oh, he's fine. He's‐‐

230
00:09:13,616 --> 00:09:15,159
Giant honking squirrel!

231
00:09:15,159 --> 00:09:16,661
[shrieks]

232
00:09:16,661 --> 00:09:17,620
JODIE:
I'm sorry, what?

233
00:09:17,620 --> 00:09:19,330
‐ Yeah, giant honking squirrel.

234
00:09:19,330 --> 00:09:20,582
It's an expression.
[giant squirrel roars]

235
00:09:20,582 --> 00:09:22,625
It means
"out of harm's way, totally safe."

236
00:09:22,625 --> 00:09:25,211
You never heard that before?
Wow, you're such a‐‐

237
00:09:25,211 --> 00:09:26,629
Frost Giant!

238
00:09:26,629 --> 00:09:29,591
JODIE: Okay, now I'm a "Frost Giant"?
What‐‐ what does that mean?

239
00:09:29,591 --> 00:09:31,718
‐ Oh Jodie,
you're showing your age.

240
00:09:32,385 --> 00:09:34,345
It's another expression, of course.

241
00:09:34,345 --> 00:09:35,471
[grunts]

242
00:09:35,471 --> 00:09:37,473
The point is,
Lou's totally safe.

243
00:09:38,266 --> 00:09:41,394
He's as safe as an‐‐
Even bigger honking squirrel!

244
00:09:43,229 --> 00:09:45,648
JODIE: Well, now that I know
that means he's safe,

245
00:09:45,648 --> 00:09:47,942
I guess... good?

246
00:09:47,942 --> 00:09:49,152
Thank you for handling this.

247
00:09:49,152 --> 00:09:51,321
‐ Alright, seems like
we're wrapping up , thank God.

248
00:09:51,321 --> 00:09:52,989
Just know that everything's‐‐

249
00:09:52,989 --> 00:09:54,699
b‐b‐b‐bodacious hunks!

250
00:09:55,742 --> 00:09:57,994
JODIE: Okay, so I just looked up
"Frost Giant,"

251
00:09:57,994 --> 00:10:01,623
and I have never done that
to an ice cream sandwich!

252
00:10:02,123 --> 00:10:04,125
‐ Once again I apologize

253
00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:07,337
for how we all pointed swords
at your horrible face.

254
00:10:07,629 --> 00:10:11,633
‐ And I apologize for continually guessing
your body fat percentage on the way over.

255
00:10:11,633 --> 00:10:13,509
It's zero, right?
You gotta tell me if I'm close.

256
00:10:13,509 --> 00:10:17,013
‐ We're on the hunt for the sorcerer
who murdered our General.

257
00:10:17,013 --> 00:10:20,516
The only clue we have
is the sorcerer's symbol.

258
00:10:20,516 --> 00:10:24,520
Each carries the same marking
as the loathsome death box,

259
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:27,065
the cause of our leader's demise.

260
00:10:27,065 --> 00:10:29,275
‐ I've never seen that logo in my life.

261
00:10:29,275 --> 00:10:30,235
It's‐‐ it's cool though, right?

262
00:10:30,235 --> 00:10:31,653
I mean, it looks like it's
by the same guy who did

263
00:10:31,653 --> 00:10:34,113
the Baskin Robbins logo,
so it couldn't have been cheap.

264
00:10:34,113 --> 00:10:36,741
You know, they‐‐ they hide the number 31
in the Baskin Robbins logo.

265
00:10:36,741 --> 00:10:38,117
You can see that, right?
Have you ever seen that?

266
00:10:38,117 --> 00:10:41,037
It's so cool! But that logo,
I've never seen that one in my life.

267
00:10:42,830 --> 00:10:47,835
‐ All I know is if we find him,
verily we will clonk him up good.

268
00:10:47,835 --> 00:10:49,879
‐ Uh‐huh. Well, if any
of you beefcake beauties

269
00:10:49,879 --> 00:10:51,005
want to join me on a quest,

270
00:10:51,005 --> 00:10:53,967
I've gotta go mess up a bunch
of Kobolds and rescue my son.

271
00:10:53,967 --> 00:10:55,760
‐ Alas, we cannot.

272
00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:58,221
We hast a thousand‐year peace
with the Kobolds.

273
00:10:58,221 --> 00:11:00,682
‐ Because they're harmonious,
peace‐loving creatures

274
00:11:00,682 --> 00:11:01,933
who would never hurt my boy?

275
00:11:01,933 --> 00:11:06,521
‐ No! Those freakish ghouls are
an important part of the ecosystem.

276
00:11:06,521 --> 00:11:08,398
They devour unwanted children...

277
00:11:08,398 --> 00:11:09,065
[shudders]

278
00:11:09,065 --> 00:11:12,068
...allowing us to continue having
unprotected sex

279
00:11:12,068 --> 00:11:13,611
without consequences!

280
00:11:13,611 --> 00:11:16,114
‐ Wow, hot‐‐ No, wait!
Lou is unprotected!

281
00:11:16,114 --> 00:11:18,491
And I made him with sex!
I gotta go!

282
00:11:18,491 --> 00:11:20,743
‐ Fare thee well, horny troll!

283
00:11:21,744 --> 00:11:25,331
♪

284
00:11:25,331 --> 00:11:27,625
[bird cawing]
[owl hooting]

285
00:11:27,625 --> 00:11:28,501
[wolf howls]

286
00:11:28,501 --> 00:11:30,545
‐ Oh good,
the trees are getting creepy.

287
00:11:30,545 --> 00:11:32,130
Must be close to the Kobold city.

288
00:11:32,130 --> 00:11:32,964
[rattling]

289
00:11:32,964 --> 00:11:35,884
A road paved with human skulls?

290
00:11:35,884 --> 00:11:37,677
Huh! A little much.

291
00:11:39,178 --> 00:11:40,930
[gasps]
Lou!

292
00:11:42,932 --> 00:11:44,517
Oh, thank God, it's not him.

293
00:11:44,517 --> 00:11:47,520
These bones are way too calcium‐fortified
to be my noodly son.

294
00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:48,354
[Lou moaning]

295
00:11:48,354 --> 00:11:49,772
A weak child‐like whimper.

296
00:11:49,772 --> 00:11:52,192
Now that's my embarrassing Lou!

297
00:11:53,318 --> 00:11:55,987
‐ Now for the main attraction.

298
00:11:55,987 --> 00:11:57,447
Everyone, please,
please, please take a look.

299
00:11:57,447 --> 00:12:00,366
There's nothing special
about this dental floss, is there?

300
00:12:00,366 --> 00:12:02,452
‐ We don't even know
what dental floss is!

301
00:12:02,452 --> 00:12:03,661
‐ And in a few short moments,

302
00:12:03,661 --> 00:12:06,039
I will fuse these two
dental flosses together

303
00:12:06,039 --> 00:12:08,416
to make one dental floss!

304
00:12:08,416 --> 00:12:11,628
‐ I can't follow any of this!
I love it!

305
00:12:11,628 --> 00:12:12,921
[Kobolds laughing]

306
00:12:14,339 --> 00:12:17,342
‐ It's like a one‐way
Lady and the Tramp, folks.

307
00:12:17,342 --> 00:12:21,930
[laughing]

308
00:12:25,892 --> 00:12:27,101
[gasps]

309
00:12:27,727 --> 00:12:31,147
Behold, a single floss!

310
00:12:31,147 --> 00:12:34,651
[Kobolds cheering, applauding]

311
00:12:35,860 --> 00:12:38,780
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Can you fill in for a beat, Krawleen?

312
00:12:41,157 --> 00:12:43,493
[guitar strumming]
[clears throat]

313
00:12:44,661 --> 00:12:46,579
[screeches melodically]

314
00:12:47,497 --> 00:12:49,082
LOU:
Hey, Dad! You look hungry.

315
00:12:49,082 --> 00:12:52,168
I can have someone bring you
some Valhallapeño Poppers.

316
00:12:52,168 --> 00:12:53,461
What do you want?
An Asgarden Burger?

317
00:12:53,461 --> 00:12:56,673
How about nachos, Thor‐style,
where they smash 'em up with a hammer?

318
00:12:56,673 --> 00:12:58,925
‐ Oh my God, my poor dear boy.

319
00:12:58,925 --> 00:13:01,761
Look what they've done to you.
Turned you into a fool.

320
00:13:01,761 --> 00:13:03,263
‐ What? You mean my act?

321
00:13:03,263 --> 00:13:05,098
I've been workshopping it
for my Bar Mitzvah.

322
00:13:05,098 --> 00:13:07,433
Now that you know that,
do you think it's pretty cool?

323
00:13:07,433 --> 00:13:09,185
‐ No! I don't understand it.

324
00:13:09,185 --> 00:13:11,771
The last time I saw you,
these things were going to eat you!

325
00:13:11,771 --> 00:13:14,607
‐ Oh, they were saucin' me up,
flavorin' me good.

326
00:13:14,607 --> 00:13:16,818
I'm talkin' celery,
onions, bell peppers,

327
00:13:16,818 --> 00:13:18,778
the holy trinity of Cajun cuisine‐‐

328
00:13:18,778 --> 00:13:20,905
‐ Just get to the part
where they didn't eat you.

329
00:13:20,905 --> 00:13:25,034
‐ I did that thing where I made one ball
turn into two balls.

330
00:13:25,034 --> 00:13:29,038
And look at me now! Full residency
at the Catch A Rising Kobold Theater!

331
00:13:29,038 --> 00:13:31,583
‐ I was so worried about you only to learn
that you've become the jester

332
00:13:31,583 --> 00:13:33,626
to some freaky‐ass goblin creatures?

333
00:13:33,626 --> 00:13:36,129
‐ Actually, I'm doing really well.

334
00:13:36,129 --> 00:13:37,714
I'm making more than Krawleen.

335
00:13:37,714 --> 00:13:39,799
And she's Krawleen!

336
00:13:39,799 --> 00:13:42,468
[Kobolds cheering]

337
00:13:42,468 --> 00:13:45,054
‐ No son of mine upstages Krawleen.
We're leaving!

338
00:13:45,054 --> 00:13:46,431
‐ But, Dad‐‐
‐ Time to go home

339
00:13:46,431 --> 00:13:50,226
and prepare for your traditional,
non‐humiliating Bar Mitzvah.

340
00:13:50,226 --> 00:13:52,562
‐ Why would I go home
when I could stay here

341
00:13:52,562 --> 00:13:53,897
where I don't have to hide who I am?

342
00:13:53,897 --> 00:13:55,815
‐ That was you hiding who you are?

343
00:13:55,815 --> 00:13:58,526
I'm constantly dealing with it!
It's so in my face!

344
00:13:59,861 --> 00:14:00,612
[snaps fingers]

345
00:14:00,612 --> 00:14:02,113
‐ Throw him out.
[growls]

346
00:14:03,448 --> 00:14:05,283
[grunts]
[laughing]

347
00:14:05,658 --> 00:14:08,703
‐ I believe I had two goats!

348
00:14:08,703 --> 00:14:11,164
[goats shriek]
These are them. Thanks.

349
00:14:11,164 --> 00:14:12,790
[goat bleats]
I only had two!

350
00:14:12,790 --> 00:14:15,126
I'm not keeping this goat‐‐
Goatis Redding. Dammit!

351
00:14:15,126 --> 00:14:17,003
Ahh, you're in the gang,
and I love you forever.

352
00:14:17,003 --> 00:14:18,171
LOU:
For my next trick,

353
00:14:18,171 --> 00:14:20,340
I'll pull a guitar out of Krawleen.

354
00:14:20,340 --> 00:14:21,883
[Kobolds laughing]
[Krawleen shrieks]

355
00:14:21,883 --> 00:14:24,594
‐ I can't protect Lou if he's stuck
in that goblin city

356
00:14:24,594 --> 00:14:25,803
guarded by those freaks.

357
00:14:25,803 --> 00:14:27,096
I'll have to take him back by force.

358
00:14:27,096 --> 00:14:28,848
Looks like the only way to save my son

359
00:14:29,515 --> 00:14:31,476
is to go to war with him.

360
00:14:34,646 --> 00:14:36,231
Well, I ate Goatis.

361
00:14:36,231 --> 00:14:38,316
Anyway, hey, Asgardians!

362
00:14:38,316 --> 00:14:41,277
Is this the sorcerer you're looking for?

363
00:14:41,277 --> 00:14:42,195
ASGARDIANS:
The symbol!

364
00:14:42,195 --> 00:14:43,863
‐ He leads the Kobolds!

365
00:14:43,863 --> 00:14:46,282
‐ Then we go to war!
[all shout]

366
00:14:46,282 --> 00:14:48,993
‐ For the normalcy
of my son's Bar Mitzvah!

367
00:14:48,993 --> 00:14:51,037
‐ For the what of the what?

368
00:14:51,037 --> 00:14:53,081
‐ For a deeply personal conflict

369
00:14:53,081 --> 00:14:55,375
that has nothing
to do with you guys!

370
00:14:55,375 --> 00:14:57,752
[all shout]

371
00:14:59,963 --> 00:15:01,965
DAGR:
To my beautiful wife, Astrid.

372
00:15:01,965 --> 00:15:05,051
The Great Bar Mitzvah Wars
have dragged on for months.

373
00:15:05,051 --> 00:15:07,595
Know that if this great war takes me,

374
00:15:07,595 --> 00:15:10,306
I want you to... never move on.

375
00:15:10,306 --> 00:15:13,518
I'm serious.
If you do, I'll haunt you forever.

376
00:15:14,185 --> 00:15:17,272
KOBOLD:
Life on the front lines is unforgiving.

377
00:15:17,272 --> 00:15:19,983
The only thing that gives me hope
are your letters

378
00:15:19,983 --> 00:15:22,318
written in aged menstrual blood.

379
00:15:22,318 --> 00:15:25,822
If I do not return,
dear pungent Gremelina,

380
00:15:25,822 --> 00:15:28,116
I know that I will miss every part of you.

381
00:15:28,408 --> 00:15:32,078
Your scaly flesh,
the stench of your rotting teeth,

382
00:15:32,078 --> 00:15:35,874
the moles that line every inch
of your mug‐shaped body.

383
00:15:36,165 --> 00:15:37,834
DAGR :
But though we suffer,

384
00:15:37,834 --> 00:15:40,253
none suffer more than our great leader

385
00:15:40,253 --> 00:15:42,547
who carries the full weight of this war.

386
00:15:42,547 --> 00:15:44,716
‐ [mimicking Lou]
Okay, Dad. I give up magic.

387
00:15:44,716 --> 00:15:48,136
I like normal stuff now,
like cars and toast.

388
00:15:48,136 --> 00:15:50,263
[mimicking Sean Connery]
Thanks, son. I accept your surrender.

389
00:15:50,263 --> 00:15:52,599
Just kidding, I'm gonna kill
all these stupid goblins.

390
00:15:52,599 --> 00:15:54,058
Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew!

391
00:15:54,058 --> 00:15:56,060
I'm the man now, dog!

392
00:15:56,060 --> 00:15:58,187
[normal voice]
How goes the battlefront, General Dagr?

393
00:15:58,187 --> 00:16:01,482
‐ We have taken great losses.
‐ Oh. I hate hearing that.

394
00:16:01,482 --> 00:16:04,068
Should I reflect that on the table?
Why are we losing soldiers?

395
00:16:04,068 --> 00:16:07,697
‐ You took their shields away
and melted them down to make figurines.

396
00:16:07,697 --> 00:16:09,073
‐ Well, we didn't
take their swords, though.

397
00:16:09,073 --> 00:16:11,117
Let's take their swords
and melt those down

398
00:16:11,117 --> 00:16:12,660
to make shields for the figurines.

399
00:16:12,660 --> 00:16:14,454
I don't want to make
the same mistake with the figurines

400
00:16:14,454 --> 00:16:15,663
that I did with the soldiers.

401
00:16:15,663 --> 00:16:16,581
[Dagr sighs]

402
00:16:16,873 --> 00:16:20,126
‐ Lord, the other side hast offered

403
00:16:20,126 --> 00:16:22,462
to meet and negotiate peace.

404
00:16:22,462 --> 00:16:24,756
‐ Peace, you say?

405
00:16:25,423 --> 00:16:27,759
[rumbling]

406
00:16:34,015 --> 00:16:35,975
[goat shrieks]

407
00:16:37,602 --> 00:16:40,605
[sing‐songy]
I'm here for peace!

408
00:16:40,605 --> 00:16:41,981
[Kobolds growling]

409
00:16:43,274 --> 00:16:45,818
[rumbling, rattling]

410
00:16:45,818 --> 00:16:48,530
‐ So... this war sorta got out of hand,

411
00:16:48,530 --> 00:16:51,449
and, uh, a lot of people sorta died.

412
00:16:51,449 --> 00:16:55,245
‐ Wrong again.
This war was always in hand, my hand.

413
00:16:55,245 --> 00:16:57,038
And a lot of people definitely died.

414
00:16:57,038 --> 00:16:58,456
And after this tank pops off,

415
00:16:58,456 --> 00:17:01,251
a hell of a lot more people
are going to die.

416
00:17:01,834 --> 00:17:05,463
‐ As a peace offering,
I brought you these flowers.

417
00:17:05,463 --> 00:17:06,756
[goats shriek]

418
00:17:09,425 --> 00:17:11,010
‐ Aah!

419
00:17:11,803 --> 00:17:13,638
Yah!
[grunts]

420
00:17:14,389 --> 00:17:16,015
[goat shrieks]

421
00:17:17,892 --> 00:17:19,936
[groans]

422
00:17:20,311 --> 00:17:22,772
[all snicker]

423
00:17:24,858 --> 00:17:26,317
‐ Go ahead, laugh at me!

424
00:17:26,317 --> 00:17:27,986
Just like everyone always has!

425
00:17:27,986 --> 00:17:29,404
[all sigh]

426
00:17:29,404 --> 00:17:31,781
That's right.
Just go. Leave.

427
00:17:31,781 --> 00:17:32,532
[Lou sighs]

428
00:17:32,532 --> 00:17:35,034
‐ Here, Dad, let me‐‐
‐ Don't touch me!

429
00:17:35,410 --> 00:17:36,452
‐ Use this.

430
00:17:37,996 --> 00:17:41,791
‐ This is... this is exactly
what I wanted to save you from.

431
00:17:41,791 --> 00:17:42,792
‐ What?

432
00:17:42,792 --> 00:17:46,004
‐ I didn't want you doing magic
at your Bar Mitzvah

433
00:17:46,004 --> 00:17:48,673
because... well, I didn't want you
to feel humiliated.

434
00:17:49,799 --> 00:17:52,594
On account of magic being lame?

435
00:17:52,594 --> 00:17:53,803
‐ Disagree. Continue.

436
00:17:54,137 --> 00:17:55,513
‐ I worry about you.

437
00:17:55,513 --> 00:17:57,682
I worry about you being
too much like me.

438
00:17:57,682 --> 00:17:59,934
‐ I thought you wanted me
to be more like you?

439
00:17:59,934 --> 00:18:01,895
‐ What? No. People hate me.

440
00:18:01,895 --> 00:18:03,938
I've been mocked all my life
for being different.

441
00:18:03,938 --> 00:18:04,856
[sighs]

442
00:18:04,856 --> 00:18:08,026
I want you to be more like,
I‐‐ I don't know... Tony Stark.

443
00:18:08,026 --> 00:18:09,152
‐ Your greatest foe?

444
00:18:09,152 --> 00:18:10,486
‐ People like him.

445
00:18:11,196 --> 00:18:12,655
I want people to like you.

446
00:18:13,114 --> 00:18:13,990
‐ Oh.

447
00:18:13,990 --> 00:18:16,451
‐ One day, I'll conquer the world
and create a utopia

448
00:18:16,451 --> 00:18:18,703
where no one can ever hurt you,
but until then

449
00:18:18,703 --> 00:18:23,791
it's safer for you to like normal things
like football or toast.

450
00:18:23,791 --> 00:18:26,419
‐ You're always bringing up toast.
I like toast.

451
00:18:26,753 --> 00:18:28,671
‐ Yeah?
‐ Yeah.

452
00:18:28,671 --> 00:18:29,714
‐ Hey.

453
00:18:29,714 --> 00:18:34,177
‐ Hey! Kobold justice demands
public execution,

454
00:18:34,177 --> 00:18:35,929
giant head man!

455
00:18:35,929 --> 00:18:38,014
MODOK: Lou, call my lawyer,
Irving Champlain.

456
00:18:38,014 --> 00:18:41,100
If he doesn't save my life,
it's freeee!

457
00:18:41,601 --> 00:18:44,771
[Kobolds snarling]

458
00:18:45,355 --> 00:18:46,940
[thudding footsteps]

459
00:18:47,357 --> 00:18:48,566
‐ You don't have to do this.

460
00:18:48,566 --> 00:18:50,735
I can get you pewter figurines!
You like pewter figurines?

461
00:18:50,735 --> 00:18:53,863
I can give you all of mine.
I have... 10.

462
00:18:53,863 --> 00:18:55,532
That's every last one.

463
00:18:55,532 --> 00:18:56,824
[all snarling]

464
00:18:56,824 --> 00:18:57,867
Oh, please don't kill me!

465
00:18:57,867 --> 00:18:59,786
Alright, I have 6,000 figurines.

466
00:18:59,786 --> 00:19:01,788
You can have them all.
Just don't kill me!

467
00:19:01,788 --> 00:19:03,248
My son needs me!

468
00:19:03,998 --> 00:19:06,167
You gruesome son of a bitch,

469
00:19:06,167 --> 00:19:08,002
you're gonna saw me in half?

470
00:19:10,255 --> 00:19:14,467
Oh, you're gonna saw me in half.

471
00:19:14,467 --> 00:19:17,929
‐ This man likes splitting
our land in two.

472
00:19:17,929 --> 00:19:21,641
Let's see how much he likes it
when we split his body in two!

473
00:19:21,641 --> 00:19:23,560
[cheering]

474
00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:25,979
‐ [weakly]
Nooo!

475
00:19:25,979 --> 00:19:27,105
‐ Murder!

476
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:29,524
‐ You're killing me, you jerk!

477
00:19:29,524 --> 00:19:31,651
Oh, woe to be cut!

478
00:19:31,651 --> 00:19:33,319
Oh, to be sliced!

479
00:19:33,319 --> 00:19:36,739
Aww, you're cutting my stomach,
and the food's coming out.

480
00:19:36,739 --> 00:19:38,283
I'm getting hungry again!

481
00:19:38,283 --> 00:19:41,786
‐ He speaks so much!
Saw his face!

482
00:19:41,786 --> 00:19:43,746
‐ This is where the saw is!
I've already committed to the cut!

483
00:19:43,746 --> 00:19:47,500
‐ And we've come to the spine,
which you'll never get through!

484
00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:49,294
Ah geez, you did it.

485
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:52,005
‐ Is he finally‐‐

486
00:19:52,005 --> 00:19:54,507
‐ Ahh, the adrenaline's kickin' in now!

487
00:19:54,507 --> 00:19:57,510
I could die for days!

488
00:19:58,303 --> 00:20:00,346
‐ Dad.
‐ Alright, alright.

489
00:20:00,346 --> 00:20:01,973
Here's the big moment!

490
00:20:01,973 --> 00:20:04,225
Three, two, one.

491
00:20:04,225 --> 00:20:06,311
Countdown to my death begins.

492
00:20:06,311 --> 00:20:08,062
Ten, nine‐‐
‐ He died!

493
00:20:08,062 --> 00:20:09,439
He just died right then!

494
00:20:09,439 --> 00:20:10,398
[all cheering]

495
00:20:10,398 --> 00:20:13,359
But wait!
There's more!

496
00:20:13,985 --> 00:20:16,571
‐ Holy shit!
‐ The legs are still kicking!

497
00:20:16,571 --> 00:20:19,157
‐ We've become the monsters!

498
00:20:19,782 --> 00:20:21,576
‐ You saved me!
And it was so fun!

499
00:20:21,576 --> 00:20:22,952
‐ You were a little hammy.

500
00:20:22,952 --> 00:20:25,205
I mean, I can be hammy
sometimes with the magic,

501
00:20:25,205 --> 00:20:28,041
but you were moons over my hammy.

502
00:20:28,041 --> 00:20:30,043
‐ Thank you!
Now hug me, you‐‐

503
00:20:30,043 --> 00:20:32,003
‐ Abra‐hug‐dad‐bra!

504
00:20:34,255 --> 00:20:37,425
‐ So I learned that Lou's strong
in his own way.

505
00:20:37,425 --> 00:20:39,594
And I managed to save my figurines.

506
00:20:39,594 --> 00:20:41,179
So it all worked out.

507
00:20:41,179 --> 00:20:45,058
‐ MODOK, it sounds like there was
a massive and senseless loss of life.

508
00:20:45,058 --> 00:20:46,851
‐ Yeah, but I like magic now!

509
00:20:46,851 --> 00:20:49,646
And I see my son in a different light.
A positive one!

510
00:20:49,646 --> 00:20:51,397
So he's gonna do whatever he wants

511
00:20:51,397 --> 00:20:53,358
at his Bar Mitzvah
whether you like it or not.

512
00:20:53,358 --> 00:20:55,902
‐ MODOK‐‐
‐ Fine, we'll diaper the doves.

513
00:20:55,902 --> 00:20:58,571
‐ It's just that‐‐
‐ Sew their buttholes shut?

514
00:20:58,571 --> 00:21:00,532
You're a monster, but it's done.

515
00:21:00,532 --> 00:21:03,535
‐ Look, everyone knows I like to have fun.

516
00:21:03,535 --> 00:21:05,453
I'm the wacky Rabbi.

517
00:21:05,453 --> 00:21:09,582
I wear yarmulkes
with polka dots on them.

518
00:21:09,582 --> 00:21:11,251
‐ Fine, you're fun.
What are you getting at?

519
00:21:11,251 --> 00:21:13,670
‐ I am worried about Lou's magic.

520
00:21:13,670 --> 00:21:15,505
He's supposed
to be becoming a man,

521
00:21:15,505 --> 00:21:18,591
and I may be a silly Rabbi,
but tricks are for kids.

522
00:21:21,469 --> 00:21:23,680
‐ So you're saying the magic is‐‐

523
00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:25,932
‐ Is a symptom of a larger problem.

524
00:21:25,932 --> 00:21:28,851
Lou seems to be using it
to push people away.

525
00:21:28,851 --> 00:21:32,188
I think he's having a hard time
with the divorce.

526
00:21:32,522 --> 00:21:34,858
‐ You're saying ban magic?
‐ No.

527
00:21:34,858 --> 00:21:38,486
‐ So it's magic ahoy,
set sail for magic?

528
00:21:38,486 --> 00:21:40,822
‐ There isn't a simple answer here.

529
00:21:40,822 --> 00:21:44,200
All I know is your son is hurting.

530
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:46,828
And it's up to you to figure out
how to help him.

531
00:21:48,621 --> 00:21:51,374
‐ There he is!
Coolest dad in the world!

532
00:21:51,374 --> 00:21:52,375
My best friend!

533
00:21:52,375 --> 00:21:54,085
So did you tell her what's what?

534
00:21:54,085 --> 00:21:56,296
That we both want magic
at my Bar Mitzvah?

535
00:21:56,296 --> 00:21:57,589
‐ Lou, I‐‐

536
00:21:57,589 --> 00:22:02,302
[sighs] About that,
let's just... talk about it later, okay?

537
00:22:05,513 --> 00:22:06,639
[leash straining]

538
00:22:06,639 --> 00:22:08,266
[shrieks]

539
00:22:08,266 --> 00:22:10,643
Yeah, you and me both, goat.

540
00:22:10,643 --> 00:22:12,103
You and me both.

541
00:22:14,772 --> 00:22:17,108
[electricity crackling]

542
00:22:23,072 --> 00:22:26,075
‐ Well, this has been lovely,
but I wanna go home.

543
00:22:26,075 --> 00:22:29,037
‐ You have no home.
‐ Oh yes, I do.

544
00:22:29,037 --> 00:22:31,581
You're so negative.
Just like your older self.

545
00:22:31,581 --> 00:22:33,291
‐ The family doesn't appreciate you.

546
00:22:33,291 --> 00:22:35,585
‐ They're not that bad.
We rib each other.

547
00:22:35,585 --> 00:22:37,503
I mean, I don't rib them
as much as they rib me.

548
00:22:37,503 --> 00:22:39,714
I don't rib them at all actually.

549
00:22:39,714 --> 00:22:41,549
I do get my little barbs in
from time to time,

550
00:22:41,549 --> 00:22:44,093
it's not like I don't‐‐
‐ Shut up! I want to make you an offer.

551
00:22:44,093 --> 00:22:45,845
‐ Is it for betrayal? I accept.

552
00:22:45,845 --> 00:22:48,765
They don't love me. I have no home!
Is this where we live now?

553
00:22:48,765 --> 00:22:51,976
‐ Well, I was gonna offer you
what they never have:

554
00:22:51,976 --> 00:22:54,604
complete independence‐‐
‐ It's fine, it's done.

555
00:22:54,604 --> 00:22:56,814
What did you have in mind?
I say poison them.

556
00:22:56,814 --> 00:22:57,982
I know where their food is.

557
00:22:58,399 --> 00:23:00,109
[whispers]
It's in the house.

558
00:23:00,109 --> 00:23:04,155
‐ Oh, I have something much bigger
in store for them.

559
00:23:04,155 --> 00:23:06,699
SUPER ADAPTOID:
Oh, you should put them in those coffins!

560
00:23:06,699 --> 00:23:09,994
They'll turn into bones!
This is going great!

561
00:23:09,994 --> 00:23:12,872
♪ dramatic theme playing ♪

562
00:23:12,872 --> 00:23:15,750
♪

563
00:23:22,340 --> 00:23:25,343
[choir vocalizing]

564
00:23:25,343 --> 00:23:28,221
♪