1
00:00:06,283 --> 00:00:08,643
(THEME MUSIC)

2
00:00:30,323 --> 00:00:31,923
(HAMMERING)

3
00:00:35,283 --> 00:00:37,003
Are you allowed to do that?

4
00:00:37,043 --> 00:00:38,043
What do you mean?

5
00:00:38,083 --> 00:00:39,963
Put nails in the wall.

6
00:00:40,003 --> 00:00:42,323
We can do what we like, babe. We own it.

7
00:00:42,363 --> 00:00:44,083
Oh, yeah.

8
00:00:44,123 --> 00:00:45,483
I can't quite believe it.

9
00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:48,123
I can't believe we got a hundred
grand off the asking price.

10
00:00:48,163 --> 00:00:50,203
But, then again,
under the circumstances...

11
00:00:50,243 --> 00:00:51,883
Don't, Sam.

12
00:00:51,923 --> 00:00:54,523
I don't wanna think about it.

13
00:00:55,523 --> 00:00:57,643
So does that make us grown-ups now?

14
00:00:57,683 --> 00:01:00,243
We'll be having dinner parties.

15
00:01:00,283 --> 00:01:02,843
Talking about catchment areas next.

16
00:01:02,883 --> 00:01:04,603
- Well, maybe we should.
- What?

17
00:01:04,643 --> 00:01:07,723
Might be nice to invite the neighbours
round. Have a bit of a flat warming.

18
00:01:07,763 --> 00:01:09,163
Nah.

19
00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:10,203
Why not?

20
00:01:10,243 --> 00:01:13,003
I don't want people treating
it like a guided tour.

21
00:01:13,043 --> 00:01:16,003
"Ooh, ooh - let's go and look round
that serial killer's flat."

22
00:01:16,043 --> 00:01:18,763
Bea, it's not a serial killer's flat, OK?

23
00:01:18,803 --> 00:01:21,123
It was one dismembered body...

24
00:01:21,163 --> 00:01:22,403
...that they know of.

25
00:01:22,443 --> 00:01:23,403
What?!

26
00:01:23,443 --> 00:01:26,643
I'm kidding! Look, it was a long time ago.

27
00:01:26,683 --> 00:01:29,123
They replaced all the numbers,
I'm sure no-one really remembers.

28
00:01:29,163 --> 00:01:30,443
I'll remember it.

29
00:01:30,483 --> 00:01:33,403
I'll remember it every time I'm in that
bath where there's been a body chopped up.

30
00:01:33,443 --> 00:01:34,843
Nah, they replaced the bath.

31
00:01:34,883 --> 00:01:35,883
The agent said.

32
00:01:35,923 --> 00:01:37,123
Oh, and you now believe what
estate agents say, do you?

33
00:01:37,163 --> 00:01:39,963
I believe we've got
a quarter of a million pound flat

34
00:01:40,003 --> 00:01:41,963
at half the price.

35
00:01:42,003 --> 00:01:43,123
What time are you back?

36
00:01:43,163 --> 00:01:44,163
About half four.

37
00:01:44,203 --> 00:01:45,923
I hate it when you work nights.

38
00:01:45,963 --> 00:01:47,083
Yeah, me too.

39
00:01:47,123 --> 00:01:48,683
That's when mistakes happen.

40
00:01:48,723 --> 00:01:50,843
Like poor Mr Hargreaves last night.

41
00:01:50,883 --> 00:01:52,923
They actually told me
to prick his boil.

42
00:01:52,963 --> 00:01:55,083
Sam...!

43
00:01:56,123 --> 00:01:58,003
Mwah. I'll see you later.

44
00:02:06,963 --> 00:02:09,083
Oh, for God's sake.

45
00:02:11,083 --> 00:02:12,523
Oh...

46
00:02:19,163 --> 00:02:21,043
(SCRAPING)

47
00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:32,363
(RUSTLING)

48
00:03:01,763 --> 00:03:03,563
(WHIRRING)

49
00:03:32,243 --> 00:03:33,603
(BLENDER STOPS)

50
00:03:35,563 --> 00:03:36,923
(DISCORDANT TONE)

51
00:03:38,283 --> 00:03:40,523
(BALL BOUNCES)

52
00:04:12,483 --> 00:04:14,763
- (SCREAMS)
- Beattie, what's wrong?

53
00:04:17,083 --> 00:04:18,963
We need to move.

54
00:04:19,003 --> 00:04:20,363
Yeah...

55
00:04:20,403 --> 00:04:21,923
Yeah, that would be great.

56
00:04:21,963 --> 00:04:23,323
Thank you.

57
00:04:24,643 --> 00:04:26,963
Right, they're gonna try and get
in touch with the previous owner.

58
00:04:27,003 --> 00:04:29,043
See if he can shed any light.

59
00:04:29,083 --> 00:04:31,283
Babe, I'm sure it's just
because you're unsettled.

60
00:04:31,323 --> 00:04:33,403
You know, thinking about the whole
unpleasantness.

61
00:04:33,443 --> 00:04:34,523
You are susceptible...

62
00:04:34,563 --> 00:04:36,003
I know what I saw, Sam!

63
00:04:37,163 --> 00:04:38,963
I didn't put the Hoover on the table
and you certainly didn't

64
00:04:39,003 --> 00:04:40,403
because you've never touched
it in your life!

65
00:04:40,443 --> 00:04:42,403
Right, well, we've done what we can.

66
00:04:42,443 --> 00:04:43,443
OK?

67
00:04:44,843 --> 00:04:46,923
I'm tired. I'm gonna go for a shower.

68
00:04:46,963 --> 00:04:49,523
And, uh, don't worry -
if blood starts coming out of it,

69
00:04:49,563 --> 00:04:50,723
I promise we can move.

70
00:04:50,763 --> 00:04:51,843
OK?

71
00:05:20,043 --> 00:05:21,643
(DOOR BUZZER)

72
00:05:29,083 --> 00:05:30,483
(DOOR BUZZER)

73
00:05:37,363 --> 00:05:39,363
Hello?

74
00:05:46,563 --> 00:05:47,963
Hello.

75
00:05:48,003 --> 00:05:51,683
I'm David Sowerbutts,
and I used to live here.

76
00:05:54,683 --> 00:05:56,523
Are you sure you don't want a cup of tea?

77
00:05:56,563 --> 00:05:57,723
No, thank you.

78
00:05:58,803 --> 00:05:59,963
Do you have a smoothie?

79
00:06:01,043 --> 00:06:03,403
Er... No.

80
00:06:03,443 --> 00:06:05,283
I haven't done a big shop yet.

81
00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:07,443
Not long moved in, as you can see.

82
00:06:07,483 --> 00:06:10,603
My mum used to make me
smoothies with a machine.

83
00:06:11,843 --> 00:06:12,963
A blender?

84
00:06:13,003 --> 00:06:15,363
No, her name was Maureen.

85
00:06:15,403 --> 00:06:17,883
She used to live here, too.

86
00:06:17,923 --> 00:06:19,523
These were her eyes.

87
00:06:21,123 --> 00:06:22,243
Sorry?

88
00:06:22,283 --> 00:06:25,243
She used to dress up
and do impressions.

89
00:06:25,283 --> 00:06:27,603
Party nights, that sort of thing.

90
00:06:27,643 --> 00:06:29,443
She used these for Tina Turner.

91
00:06:30,963 --> 00:06:32,003
Right.

92
00:06:33,283 --> 00:06:34,563
Well, it's very strange.

93
00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:37,723
They've just appeared in the hallway.

94
00:06:40,803 --> 00:06:42,883
I hate to ask, but...

95
00:06:42,923 --> 00:06:45,123
...did your mother pass
away in this flat?

96
00:06:47,243 --> 00:06:48,283
She did, yes.

97
00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:52,603
But I don't like to remember
her that way.

98
00:06:54,163 --> 00:06:56,323
I remember her being full of life.

99
00:06:56,363 --> 00:06:59,683
(UPBEAT SNAP MUSIC)

100
00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:28,003
- (TRICKLING)
-  DAVID:  We got on really well.

101
00:07:28,043 --> 00:07:29,763
We were more than flatmates.

102
00:07:29,803 --> 00:07:32,443
BEA:  Well, you were mother and son.

103
00:07:32,483 --> 00:07:34,163
JOHN:  Oh, yeah, that as well.

104
00:07:34,203 --> 00:07:35,443
Is that all of it?

105
00:07:42,163 --> 00:07:43,443
I think it's dry now.

106
00:07:45,883 --> 00:07:46,923
I know it is.

107
00:07:50,443 --> 00:07:52,683
(PETER BREATHES HEAVILY)

108
00:07:52,723 --> 00:07:55,603
We took an interest in each
other's hobbies.

109
00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:57,723
Mum liked to play the Bontempi.

110
00:07:59,283 --> 00:08:01,243
I liked learning about serial killers.

111
00:08:01,283 --> 00:08:04,763
Did I meow like a cat
when I was arrested?

112
00:08:04,803 --> 00:08:05,803
No.

113
00:08:05,843 --> 00:08:08,043
Right, so I'm not Jeffrey Dahmer.
Your go.

114
00:08:08,083 --> 00:08:09,883
Did I kill a family member?

115
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:11,563
- Yep.
- Wife?

116
00:08:11,603 --> 00:08:12,603
Yeah, you're warm.

117
00:08:12,643 --> 00:08:13,883
John Reginald Halliday Christie?

118
00:08:13,923 --> 00:08:16,403
No. Dr Crippen. I win.

119
00:08:16,443 --> 00:08:18,363
Crippen's not a serial killer.

120
00:08:18,403 --> 00:08:19,523
He only killed his wife.

121
00:08:19,563 --> 00:08:20,683
It's nothing.

122
00:08:20,723 --> 00:08:22,923
Yeah, don't be a bad loser, David.
You were close.

123
00:08:22,963 --> 00:08:25,043
They've both got bald heads
and round glasses.

124
00:08:25,083 --> 00:08:26,403
Who was I, anyway?

125
00:08:27,443 --> 00:08:29,083
Ed Gein! I should have asked,

126
00:08:29,123 --> 00:08:32,283
"Did I dance around in the moonlight
with a silver vagina on me face?"!

127
00:08:32,323 --> 00:08:34,163
She sounds...

128
00:08:34,203 --> 00:08:35,763
...lovely.

129
00:08:35,803 --> 00:08:36,843
She was.

130
00:08:36,883 --> 00:08:39,203
We were very happy here.

131
00:08:40,483 --> 00:08:43,563
But, then, one day,
I found out she'd caught cancer.

132
00:08:43,603 --> 00:08:44,963
Oh...

133
00:08:45,003 --> 00:08:46,043
I'm sorry.

134
00:08:46,083 --> 00:08:47,803
Well, it's not your fault!

135
00:08:49,603 --> 00:08:52,043
She was very brave about it.

136
00:08:53,203 --> 00:08:54,523
There.

137
00:08:54,563 --> 00:08:57,403
Now, I've cut you a little bit behind your
ear, but it'll scab over.

138
00:08:57,443 --> 00:08:58,763
Thanks, Mum.

139
00:08:58,803 --> 00:09:02,003
You're gonna have to learn how to do all
these things for yourself when I'm gone.

140
00:09:02,043 --> 00:09:04,363
- Don't say that.
- Well, you will.

141
00:09:04,403 --> 00:09:07,283
What did your scoutmaster
used to say to you?

142
00:09:07,323 --> 00:09:08,963
Don't tell anyone.

143
00:09:09,003 --> 00:09:10,483
Yeah - not that.

144
00:09:10,523 --> 00:09:12,083
Be prepared.

145
00:09:12,123 --> 00:09:14,643
You need to be equipped with
essential life skills.

146
00:09:14,683 --> 00:09:16,083
I am!

147
00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:19,003
Left, right, stalagmites, stalactites,

148
00:09:19,043 --> 00:09:21,523
cos mites crawl up
and tights hang down.

149
00:09:21,563 --> 00:09:23,803
OK, that's good,
but there are other things.

150
00:09:23,843 --> 00:09:25,843
You've gotta be able to feed yourself.

151
00:09:25,883 --> 00:09:27,043
I'll have a flask of beans.

152
00:09:27,083 --> 00:09:28,523
Oh, you need more than that.

153
00:09:28,563 --> 00:09:30,243
I'll leave you my recipes.

154
00:09:30,283 --> 00:09:32,003
You can do carbonara -

155
00:09:32,043 --> 00:09:35,443
which is spaghetti hoops in salad cream
with a bag of Frazzles mixed in.

156
00:09:35,483 --> 00:09:38,563
And, for pudding, you can have me
New York cheesecake -

157
00:09:38,603 --> 00:09:41,403
Dairylea triangle on a digestive.

158
00:09:41,443 --> 00:09:43,523
I don't want you to go.

159
00:09:43,563 --> 00:09:45,363
I know you don't, David.

160
00:09:45,403 --> 00:09:48,163
And I don't want to go.

161
00:09:48,203 --> 00:09:50,603
Let's hope it's a long way off, eh?

162
00:09:52,443 --> 00:09:53,683
But it wasn't.

163
00:09:53,723 --> 00:09:55,283
I wish I could kill Death.

164
00:09:56,603 --> 00:09:58,643
Then he wouldn't be able to kill you.

165
00:10:00,883 --> 00:10:03,403
You can't have a world without Death,
David.

166
00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:07,083
He finds you in the end.

167
00:10:08,643 --> 00:10:12,963
"One short sleep past, we wake eternally,
and death shall be no more.

168
00:10:14,163 --> 00:10:16,683
"Death, thou shalt die."

169
00:10:19,043 --> 00:10:20,483
Did you just make that up?

170
00:10:21,603 --> 00:10:23,083
No, John Donne.

171
00:10:24,763 --> 00:10:26,883
It's "John did", David.

172
00:10:28,643 --> 00:10:30,243
It's "John did".

173
00:10:54,723 --> 00:10:57,843
Without Mum,
things were harder than I thought.

174
00:11:02,403 --> 00:11:03,403
She was right.

175
00:11:03,443 --> 00:11:04,443
Argh!

176
00:11:04,483 --> 00:11:08,243
I wasn't equipped with many life skills.

177
00:11:08,283 --> 00:11:09,523
(WATER PATTERS)

178
00:11:11,323 --> 00:11:14,883
But luckily I had a friend who
came to look after me.

179
00:11:16,403 --> 00:11:19,483
Hello, David. I brought you a smoothie.

180
00:11:19,523 --> 00:11:21,203
- Mango?
- Yeah.

181
00:11:21,243 --> 00:11:22,243
Thank you.

182
00:11:25,083 --> 00:11:26,203
(KNOCK AT DOOR)

183
00:11:30,883 --> 00:11:35,363
I met Emily at my job doing
murder mystery evenings.

184
00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:38,403
We bonded over our shared
passion for Jack the Ripper.

185
00:11:38,443 --> 00:11:39,763
Nichols, Tabram, Chapman...

186
00:11:39,803 --> 00:11:40,883
No, no, no.

187
00:11:40,923 --> 00:11:44,843
Martha Tabram was not considered
one of the canonical five!

188
00:11:44,883 --> 00:11:49,603
Oh, yeah. So, Nichols, Chapman,

189
00:11:49,643 --> 00:11:51,003
erm...

190
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:55,843
NCSEK! Nichols, Chapman, Stride,
Eddowes, Kelly! NCSEK!

191
00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:57,123
That's it.

192
00:11:58,283 --> 00:11:59,963
You are so clever, David.

193
00:12:00,003 --> 00:12:01,883
Thank you.

194
00:12:01,923 --> 00:12:06,643
I know - let's both say our favourite
victim after three.

195
00:12:06,683 --> 00:12:11,563
One...two...three...

196
00:12:11,603 --> 00:12:12,723
BOTH: Mary Kelly!

197
00:12:15,683 --> 00:12:16,683
I need a wee.

198
00:12:17,723 --> 00:12:19,443
Would you like to come with me?

199
00:12:19,483 --> 00:12:21,043
Yes, please.

200
00:12:25,923 --> 00:12:30,083
She encouraged me to make a fresh start
and move on with my life.

201
00:13:10,203 --> 00:13:14,923
I came to realise that, with Emily, I was
filling a hole where Mum had been.

202
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:23,363
Excuse me,
do you have any Wagon Wheels?

203
00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:26,283
Er... Er, no. Sorry.

204
00:13:26,323 --> 00:13:28,803
Well, it doesn't matter. I just like them.

205
00:13:28,843 --> 00:13:30,963
So did Emily move in here, then?

206
00:13:31,003 --> 00:13:32,283
Yes.

207
00:13:32,323 --> 00:13:35,123
For a while, everything was fine,
and then...

208
00:13:36,803 --> 00:13:38,283
...it all started to go wrong.

209
00:13:39,683 --> 00:13:41,403
David?

210
00:13:41,443 --> 00:13:43,803
Just going to the shops.

211
00:13:43,843 --> 00:13:45,683
Haven't seen my keys, have you? Agh!

212
00:13:53,243 --> 00:13:56,843
What's going on?
Why have you got my mum's brooch?

213
00:13:56,883 --> 00:13:59,083
It was in my bag.

214
00:13:59,123 --> 00:14:01,363
If you wanna keep any of her things,
I don't mind.

215
00:14:01,403 --> 00:14:03,083
Not bothered.

216
00:14:03,123 --> 00:14:05,763
Well, I noticed you brought that back.

217
00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:07,723
I didn't.

218
00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:09,683
It's OK, David.

219
00:14:09,723 --> 00:14:11,363
I understand.

220
00:14:11,403 --> 00:14:14,723
Your mother was a big part of your life.

221
00:14:14,763 --> 00:14:17,123
I can see why you wouldn't
wanna let her go.

222
00:14:18,203 --> 00:14:19,403
See you tonight.

223
00:14:24,523 --> 00:14:26,283
(BONTEMPI PLAYS)

224
00:15:01,883 --> 00:15:04,243
What are you doing getting
rid of all my things?

225
00:15:05,643 --> 00:15:06,763
Mum?!

226
00:15:06,803 --> 00:15:09,203
You know that blue cardie you got me
for Mother's Day?

227
00:15:09,243 --> 00:15:12,843
It's currently in Wood Green Dogs Trust
with a sticker on it for 30 pence.

228
00:15:12,883 --> 00:15:14,923
How do you think that makes me feel?

229
00:15:14,963 --> 00:15:17,483
I'm sorry.

230
00:15:17,523 --> 00:15:19,283
Emily said I should try to move on.

231
00:15:19,323 --> 00:15:21,203
Never mind what Emily said.

232
00:15:21,243 --> 00:15:24,523
I've seen what you get up to in here.
I'm disgusted with you.

233
00:15:24,563 --> 00:15:26,483
What do you mean, you've seen us?

234
00:15:26,523 --> 00:15:28,443
Do you hide in a cupboard?

235
00:15:28,483 --> 00:15:31,243
I don't need to hide, do I?
I'm beyond the veil! I can do this...

236
00:15:33,083 --> 00:15:35,843
Oh... You've got superpowers!

237
00:15:37,923 --> 00:15:40,003
Could you go
and watch the Queen doing a poo?

238
00:15:40,043 --> 00:15:41,483
Yeah, I have done.

239
00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:43,723
She takes ages.

240
00:15:43,763 --> 00:15:47,043
What's it like? The afterlife?

241
00:15:47,083 --> 00:15:48,443
Well, there's different areas.

242
00:15:48,483 --> 00:15:49,643
It's like a cruise ship.

243
00:15:49,683 --> 00:15:52,243
I haven't got access to what you'd
call "the upper deck"

244
00:15:52,283 --> 00:15:56,763
but I'm telling you, David,
it's much more fun down below.

245
00:15:56,803 --> 00:15:58,443
What do you mean?

246
00:15:58,483 --> 00:16:02,123
I've met 'em all -
Bundy, Chikatilo, Nilsen...

247
00:16:02,163 --> 00:16:04,363
Jeffrey did his cat noises for me
last night.

248
00:16:04,403 --> 00:16:05,523
He's a scream.

249
00:16:05,563 --> 00:16:08,043
Oh, I knew he would be!

250
00:16:08,083 --> 00:16:09,803
I can't wait to tell Emily.

251
00:16:09,843 --> 00:16:11,683
You'll tell her nothing!

252
00:16:11,723 --> 00:16:14,083
She's a whore!

253
00:16:14,123 --> 00:16:17,123
She is my girlfriend

254
00:16:17,163 --> 00:16:19,363
and I love her very much.

255
00:16:19,403 --> 00:16:20,443
Oh.

256
00:16:20,483 --> 00:16:21,643
And do you trust her?

257
00:16:21,683 --> 00:16:22,763
Yes.

258
00:16:24,443 --> 00:16:25,443
Why?

259
00:16:25,483 --> 00:16:30,083
Cos I'm in this flat all day, David,
and I see things.

260
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:33,483
You might wanna come home early
one day - say, Wednesday, two o'clock.

261
00:16:33,523 --> 00:16:35,043
And while you're on it,

262
00:16:35,083 --> 00:16:38,403
why don't you ask her why
she's got two mobile phones?

263
00:16:38,443 --> 00:16:39,923
What?

264
00:16:39,963 --> 00:16:42,563
(PHONE RINGS)

265
00:16:49,243 --> 00:16:50,243
Hello?

266
00:16:50,283 --> 00:16:51,803
MAN: Oh, hey, is Emily there?

267
00:16:51,843 --> 00:16:53,323
No, sorry.

268
00:16:53,363 --> 00:16:55,243
Would you like to leave a mess...?

269
00:16:55,283 --> 00:16:56,523
(HANGS UP)

270
00:17:02,483 --> 00:17:04,083
BEA:  That must have been very scary.

271
00:17:04,123 --> 00:17:06,083
It was.

272
00:17:06,123 --> 00:17:10,043
But not as scary as what I saw
on Wednesday at two o'clock.

273
00:17:16,923 --> 00:17:19,843
EMILY: If you want to lie back.
That's it.

274
00:17:19,883 --> 00:17:21,603
Go on, have a little suck on that.

275
00:17:23,403 --> 00:17:27,563
Ooh, you are a big boy, aren't you?

276
00:17:27,603 --> 00:17:31,163
That's it. How does that feel?

277
00:17:31,203 --> 00:17:32,723
Nice and tight.

278
00:17:36,003 --> 00:17:37,923
Emily?!

279
00:17:39,363 --> 00:17:42,083
David. Why are you back so early?

280
00:17:42,123 --> 00:17:44,683
What's going on?
Who are all these people?

281
00:17:44,723 --> 00:17:46,803
- (ADULT BABIES WHIMPER)
- Shh! It's OK.

282
00:17:46,843 --> 00:17:47,963
It's only David.

283
00:17:49,243 --> 00:17:51,283
Me not like David!

284
00:17:51,323 --> 00:17:52,923
Want him to go!

285
00:17:52,963 --> 00:17:55,963
Robin?! What are you doing here?

286
00:17:56,003 --> 00:17:57,843
Me not Robin! Me Sally-Ann!

287
00:17:57,883 --> 00:18:02,683
Sally-Ann fwightened!
Sally-Ann go poo-poo!

288
00:18:02,723 --> 00:18:04,043
No Sally-Ann, no poo-poos.

289
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,923
We've just changed your nappy.

290
00:18:05,963 --> 00:18:09,123
You...you play with this.

291
00:18:09,163 --> 00:18:11,723
Just gonna talk to David.

292
00:18:12,763 --> 00:18:14,843
David, I know what this looks like.

293
00:18:14,883 --> 00:18:18,003
It looks like you're having a
sex game with our ex-boss!

294
00:18:18,043 --> 00:18:19,923
No, it's not a sex game.

295
00:18:19,963 --> 00:18:21,883
They pay me to treat them like this.

296
00:18:21,923 --> 00:18:23,523
Why?

297
00:18:23,563 --> 00:18:25,203
Well, I don't know.

298
00:18:25,243 --> 00:18:26,883
But...

299
00:18:26,923 --> 00:18:29,723
They just like being babified.

300
00:18:29,763 --> 00:18:33,003
For me, it's the joy of going
back to a simpler time.

301
00:18:33,043 --> 00:18:34,963
A time when one had no responsibility.

302
00:18:35,003 --> 00:18:40,163
And a few hours of being released from the
stresses and strains of adulthood -

303
00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:42,083
it does me the power of good.

304
00:18:42,123 --> 00:18:45,043
It really is quite harmless, David.

305
00:18:47,843 --> 00:18:50,363
Well, I think it's disgusting!

306
00:18:50,403 --> 00:18:51,763
I want you all to get out!

307
00:18:51,803 --> 00:18:54,443
Out, now!
And you can take that with you!

308
00:18:54,483 --> 00:18:58,563
David, don't throw the babies out
with the bathwater, please!

309
00:18:58,603 --> 00:19:00,803
Mum was right.

310
00:19:00,843 --> 00:19:03,603
She told me
you weren't to be trusted.

311
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:06,403
You are a whore!

312
00:19:13,483 --> 00:19:15,603
I was sorry to hear about your mother,
David.

313
00:19:15,643 --> 00:19:17,723
I only met her a couple of times,

314
00:19:17,763 --> 00:19:20,363
but she struck me
as being a most formidable woman.

315
00:19:20,403 --> 00:19:24,123
Wherever she is,
I know she'd be very proud of you.

316
00:19:25,323 --> 00:19:28,003
Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm...

317
00:19:33,803 --> 00:19:35,923
I am proud, David.

318
00:19:35,963 --> 00:19:37,683
Very proud.

319
00:19:40,683 --> 00:19:44,683
After I calmed down, I realised
I'd made a terrible mistake.

320
00:19:46,083 --> 00:19:49,923
I'd forgotten to record
Fred Dinenage's Murder Casebook.

321
00:19:49,963 --> 00:19:54,203
As well as that, I'd upsetted Emily
and that made me sad.

322
00:19:54,243 --> 00:19:55,683
Please don't go!

323
00:19:55,723 --> 00:19:58,163
It's no good, David,
you can't talk to me like that.

324
00:19:58,203 --> 00:19:59,843
I know. It...

325
00:19:59,883 --> 00:20:01,563
It wasn't me!

326
00:20:01,603 --> 00:20:02,803
Who was it, then?

327
00:20:02,843 --> 00:20:06,123
Did a dog make you do it,
like David Berkowitz?

328
00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:08,043
No, it was...

329
00:20:08,083 --> 00:20:09,163
It was a mistake.

330
00:20:10,323 --> 00:20:12,043
I'm sorry!

331
00:20:12,083 --> 00:20:15,963
I only didn't mention the job
because I was embarrassed.

332
00:20:16,003 --> 00:20:18,323
Well, you don't have to be embarrassed!

333
00:20:18,363 --> 00:20:19,763
I like babies.

334
00:20:21,763 --> 00:20:23,123
So do I.

335
00:20:23,163 --> 00:20:25,203
I'd like to have a baby.

336
00:20:26,523 --> 00:20:27,723
Shall we make one?

337
00:20:30,483 --> 00:20:31,803
Yeah, all right.

338
00:20:37,203 --> 00:20:39,883
But normal sized, though,
and not with a beard.

339
00:20:39,923 --> 00:20:41,523
All right.

340
00:20:41,563 --> 00:20:43,403
I'll stay and have a baby with you.

341
00:20:43,443 --> 00:20:45,643
But on one condition.

342
00:20:50,643 --> 00:20:53,683
You've got to get rid of your mother.

343
00:21:02,203 --> 00:21:03,523
What?!

344
00:21:03,563 --> 00:21:04,763
Oh, yeah, sorry.

345
00:21:04,803 --> 00:21:06,203
I forgot to say.

346
00:21:06,243 --> 00:21:09,923
When my mum died,
I kept her body on ice in the bathtub.

347
00:21:09,963 --> 00:21:12,803
I thought I could bring
her back to life,

348
00:21:12,843 --> 00:21:15,843
but they haven't invented it yet.

349
00:21:15,883 --> 00:21:20,443
The ice melted, and...she went a bit off.

350
00:21:21,523 --> 00:21:22,563
Oh, God.

351
00:21:25,203 --> 00:21:28,243
The next morning
we gave Mum a proper send-off.

352
00:21:28,283 --> 00:21:32,283
We took her to the recycling centre
behind Shopping City in Wood Green.

353
00:21:32,323 --> 00:21:35,763
We split her between garden waste,
general rubbish and metal,

354
00:21:35,803 --> 00:21:37,283
on account of a, erm...

355
00:21:46,363 --> 00:21:50,243
Then Emily and I set about making
a baby together.

356
00:21:50,283 --> 00:21:52,163
It was nice.

357
00:21:52,203 --> 00:21:55,883
And a few months later,
Baby John was born.

358
00:21:57,243 --> 00:21:58,923
I loved him.

359
00:21:58,963 --> 00:22:03,523
I wanted to be a better father
to him than my father was to me.

360
00:22:03,563 --> 00:22:09,163
September 30th 1888 saw
one of Jack's most audacious acts,

361
00:22:09,203 --> 00:22:11,603
known as The Devil Event.

362
00:22:11,643 --> 00:22:13,763
On this soggy, miserable night,

363
00:22:13,803 --> 00:22:15,923
he managed to slaughter two victims...

364
00:22:15,963 --> 00:22:18,923
We even threw him
a party to celebrate his birth.

365
00:22:20,523 --> 00:22:23,323
Right, I'm gonna introduce you
now to Mr Bunny!

366
00:22:23,363 --> 00:22:25,923
Do you like, erm, rabbits, little, er...

367
00:22:25,963 --> 00:22:27,323
What's his name?

368
00:22:27,363 --> 00:22:28,563
John.

369
00:22:28,603 --> 00:22:30,563
John? That's imaginative.

370
00:22:30,603 --> 00:22:32,843
You like rabbits, John?

371
00:22:32,883 --> 00:22:35,323
This is really hard for me, you know,
with him being a baby.

372
00:22:35,363 --> 00:22:37,603
Normally, they can reply
and get a bit of banter going.

373
00:22:37,643 --> 00:22:39,603
Anyway, your money.

374
00:22:39,643 --> 00:22:41,763
Er, let's get this rabbit out,
then, shall we?

375
00:22:41,803 --> 00:22:44,643
Come on, that's it, Mr Bunny,
don't be shy.

376
00:22:44,683 --> 00:22:46,363
Oh, fuckin' hell. Stabbed it.

377
00:22:46,403 --> 00:22:47,523
Yep, right in the eye.

378
00:22:47,563 --> 00:22:48,683
Another one gone.

379
00:22:48,723 --> 00:22:51,003
Er, I'm gonna need a brick for that.
Finish it off later.

380
00:22:51,043 --> 00:22:54,083
Anyway, do you like balloon animals?
What's his favourite animal?

381
00:22:54,123 --> 00:22:56,243
- Monkey.
- No, fuck that.

382
00:22:56,283 --> 00:22:58,603
He can have sausage dog,
snake or giraffe.

383
00:22:58,643 --> 00:23:00,083
Snake, please, Mr Jolly.

384
00:23:00,123 --> 00:23:01,123
Jelly!

385
00:23:02,603 --> 00:23:05,203
- (BABY CRIES)
- Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh...

386
00:23:05,243 --> 00:23:07,283
Turns out we'd booked the wrong one.

387
00:23:07,323 --> 00:23:11,323
Anyway, Emily got a new job
working at an all-night chemist's.

388
00:23:11,363 --> 00:23:12,883
Like Sam.

389
00:23:12,923 --> 00:23:14,883
He works night shifts.
He should be back soon, actually.

390
00:23:14,923 --> 00:23:17,083
Oh, I didn't mind.

391
00:23:17,123 --> 00:23:19,803
It meant that
I had more time with Baby John.

392
00:23:19,843 --> 00:23:21,643
We were so happy together.

393
00:23:24,083 --> 00:23:26,043
Then she came back.

394
00:23:38,603 --> 00:23:41,403
You're gonna need more salt
than that, David.

395
00:23:41,443 --> 00:23:44,683
Mum? What are you doing back? I thought...

396
00:23:44,723 --> 00:23:48,683
Thought you got rid of me?
No, David. I'm your mother.

397
00:23:48,723 --> 00:23:50,963
Mothers don't leave their sons.

398
00:23:51,003 --> 00:23:54,163
And speaking of which...who's this?

399
00:23:55,323 --> 00:23:56,643
Baby John.

400
00:23:56,683 --> 00:23:58,323
Baby John!

401
00:23:58,363 --> 00:24:01,003
He reminds me of you, David.

402
00:24:01,043 --> 00:24:03,643
Big fat simple face and a stinky bum.

403
00:24:03,683 --> 00:24:06,803
But...we recycled you.

404
00:24:06,843 --> 00:24:08,003
We laid you to rest.

405
00:24:08,043 --> 00:24:09,723
Not quite.

406
00:24:09,763 --> 00:24:13,843
You couldn't stop yourself, could you?
You did an Edmund Kemper.

407
00:24:13,883 --> 00:24:15,403
Kept your mother's head...

408
00:24:17,723 --> 00:24:19,963
...and bricked it up in the wall.

409
00:24:20,003 --> 00:24:21,683
It was true.

410
00:24:28,923 --> 00:24:32,843
I wanted her close by,
so she could keep an eye on me.

411
00:24:38,803 --> 00:24:41,443
It was a mistake.

412
00:24:41,483 --> 00:24:43,963
Hey, you'll never guess who
I met last night, David.

413
00:24:44,003 --> 00:24:46,043
Jack.

414
00:24:46,083 --> 00:24:47,163
The Ripper?

415
00:24:47,203 --> 00:24:50,243
He don't like being called that,
but, yeah.

416
00:24:50,283 --> 00:24:51,803
And he's really nice.

417
00:24:51,843 --> 00:24:53,083
You know who he is?

418
00:24:53,123 --> 00:24:54,483
Yeah.

419
00:24:54,523 --> 00:24:56,883
I can't tell you, cos there are
certain protocols -

420
00:24:56,923 --> 00:24:58,283
but, ha, you won't believe it.

421
00:24:58,323 --> 00:24:59,803
Is it Tumblety?

422
00:24:59,843 --> 00:25:01,323
Not saying.

423
00:25:01,363 --> 00:25:03,963
- It's not Clarence?!
- I'm not telling you, David!

424
00:25:05,163 --> 00:25:06,723
But there is a way to find out.

425
00:25:06,763 --> 00:25:08,763
What?

426
00:25:08,803 --> 00:25:10,683
Kill yourself.

427
00:25:10,723 --> 00:25:11,923
Cut your wrists now,

428
00:25:11,963 --> 00:25:14,323
and, in ten minutes, I'll have you
chatting away with Jack the Ripper,

429
00:25:14,363 --> 00:25:16,043
identity known.

430
00:25:16,083 --> 00:25:17,323
I can't!

431
00:25:17,363 --> 00:25:19,243
Why not?!

432
00:25:19,283 --> 00:25:20,803
I've got to look after Baby John.

433
00:25:20,843 --> 00:25:22,243
Well, that's easily remedied.

434
00:25:22,283 --> 00:25:23,803
Just kill the baby, David.

435
00:25:24,843 --> 00:25:25,843
No.

436
00:25:26,923 --> 00:25:28,323
You'll do as you're told. Kill that baby!

437
00:25:32,643 --> 00:25:36,523
- I don't want to.
- David, pick up that baby!

438
00:25:39,243 --> 00:25:42,443
Now bring it over to the stove
and we're gonna get it boiled.

439
00:25:46,923 --> 00:25:48,443
(BABY CRIES)

440
00:25:49,603 --> 00:25:50,763
I want Emily!

441
00:25:50,803 --> 00:25:53,923
She's not here. I am.

442
00:25:59,603 --> 00:26:01,003
Now drop it in.

443
00:26:01,043 --> 00:26:02,563
Sorry.

444
00:26:05,483 --> 00:26:08,323
David! David...

445
00:26:08,363 --> 00:26:10,123
What are you doing?

446
00:26:10,163 --> 00:26:11,643
Give him to me!

447
00:26:11,683 --> 00:26:14,363
It was Mum! She's come back...

448
00:26:16,323 --> 00:26:18,483
She made me do it!

449
00:26:18,523 --> 00:26:21,723
Your mother is dead, David!

450
00:26:21,763 --> 00:26:24,563
Dead! Dead! Dead!

451
00:26:26,483 --> 00:26:29,403
Emily called the police
and told them everything.

452
00:26:29,443 --> 00:26:32,243
About Mum, the bath, the baby.

453
00:26:33,723 --> 00:26:36,323
Nobody would believe me.

454
00:26:37,523 --> 00:26:41,243
I got taken away...
and I haven't seen them since.

455
00:26:43,683 --> 00:26:46,083
But her head's still here, isn't it?

456
00:26:47,643 --> 00:26:49,403
That's why she's not at rest.

457
00:26:51,243 --> 00:26:53,683
I came as soon as I heard.

458
00:26:54,723 --> 00:26:56,723
I think you could be in danger.

459
00:26:57,803 --> 00:27:00,163
MAUREEN: I think you two
have chatted long enough.

460
00:27:02,403 --> 00:27:04,483
It's time to do a bad murder.

461
00:27:06,683 --> 00:27:08,003
No, Mum.

462
00:27:09,043 --> 00:27:10,563
I won't do it.

463
00:27:10,603 --> 00:27:13,043
You can't make me.

464
00:27:13,083 --> 00:27:15,123
I wasn't talking to you.

465
00:27:15,163 --> 00:27:17,443
(SQUELCH)

466
00:27:22,563 --> 00:27:24,843
That's it, David.

467
00:27:24,883 --> 00:27:26,723
It's all right.

468
00:27:26,763 --> 00:27:28,923
We'll be together now.

469
00:27:28,963 --> 00:27:32,363
Forever and ever...

470
00:27:34,243 --> 00:27:35,443
...and ever...

471
00:27:35,483 --> 00:27:39,123
Babe, are you up? How did you
get on with Mr Sowerbutts?

472
00:27:46,123 --> 00:27:47,483
Bea?

473
00:28:05,083 --> 00:28:08,723
So, remember, I'm gonna be back
a bit late tonight,

474
00:28:08,763 --> 00:28:11,283
but I'll leave the radio on for you.

475
00:28:11,323 --> 00:28:13,163
Keep you company.

476
00:28:20,323 --> 00:28:21,763
See you later!

477
00:28:23,803 --> 00:28:26,523
(UPBEAT '80s POP)