1 00:00:35,603 --> 00:00:36,638 What? 2 00:00:36,671 --> 00:00:39,206 ♪ Today is your birthday ♪ 3 00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:41,643 - ♪ It's my birthday too ♪ - It's not my birthday, 4 00:00:41,676 --> 00:00:43,477 you piece of shit. 5 00:00:43,511 --> 00:00:45,145 Every day is your birthday, 6 00:00:45,178 --> 00:00:46,781 and today is the gift of conversation. 7 00:00:46,814 --> 00:00:48,550 I don't want your conversation. 8 00:00:48,583 --> 00:00:51,786 Your voice is making me wanna pour Drano down my ears. 9 00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:54,656 Aww, that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me! 10 00:00:54,689 --> 00:00:57,190 I love you so much, I'll take that to my... 11 00:01:12,507 --> 00:01:13,875 - Mm. - Mm. 12 00:01:13,908 --> 00:01:14,876 Can I help you? 13 00:01:14,909 --> 00:01:16,209 I didn't mean to blow you off last night, 14 00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:17,344 okay? 15 00:01:17,377 --> 00:01:18,412 Okay. 16 00:01:18,445 --> 00:01:19,246 Wait! 17 00:01:19,279 --> 00:01:20,715 I took two Nyquil and passed out. 18 00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:23,518 I didn't wake up until after midnight, I swear. 19 00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:25,520 I put on normal clothes for you. 20 00:01:25,553 --> 00:01:26,821 I'm sorry. 21 00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:30,792 But I got you Pedialyte and a burrito. 22 00:01:30,825 --> 00:01:32,560 I think it's cheese. 23 00:01:32,594 --> 00:01:34,529 I assumed you might need it after the very aggressive 24 00:01:34,562 --> 00:01:36,764 and slurred hate message you left me. 25 00:01:36,798 --> 00:01:40,300 - Don't make any jokes. - Right. Sorry. 26 00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:42,202 Can I come in? 27 00:01:42,235 --> 00:01:43,805 Please? 28 00:01:43,838 --> 00:01:47,508 You're, uh, glowing today, by the way. 29 00:01:47,542 --> 00:01:49,242 You are! You're... you're beautiful, 30 00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:50,878 you're a queen, I'm serious, please. 31 00:01:50,912 --> 00:01:52,379 If you do that again, 32 00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:54,882 you better ingest every Nyquil pill you own. 33 00:01:54,916 --> 00:01:56,416 Done. 34 00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:59,419 - I'm serious. - I... fuckin' promise. 35 00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:00,822 Okay, then, wipe that smile off your face! 36 00:02:00,855 --> 00:02:03,591 I'm... I'm trying, but it's... 37 00:02:03,625 --> 00:02:05,893 - I'm serious. - Can I fuckin' enter, or... 38 00:02:14,869 --> 00:02:16,303 Uh-uh-uh! 39 00:02:16,336 --> 00:02:17,805 What? 40 00:02:17,839 --> 00:02:19,439 Burrito. 41 00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:20,608 Mm. 42 00:02:25,947 --> 00:02:27,280 Thank you. 43 00:02:29,651 --> 00:02:32,352 Uh! Scratch my back. 44 00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:36,456 All right. 45 00:02:40,293 --> 00:02:42,396 - Like this? - Harder. 46 00:02:42,429 --> 00:02:44,398 Down. 47 00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:45,499 - Mm. - Mm-hm. 48 00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:47,467 To the left a little. 49 00:02:47,502 --> 00:02:48,936 Yeah. 50 00:02:48,970 --> 00:02:51,438 Do that one thing that I like. 51 00:02:51,471 --> 00:02:53,240 Mm-hm. 52 00:02:53,273 --> 00:02:54,809 - That's not what I like! - This one thing. 53 00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:56,209 - No. - I'm outta here. 54 00:02:56,243 --> 00:02:57,310 No! 55 00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:59,914 Nathan, stop. 56 00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:01,649 Ouch! 57 00:03:01,683 --> 00:03:02,750 Ow. 58 00:03:04,719 --> 00:03:05,887 - No. - What? 59 00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:07,755 - Stop. - Keep going? 60 00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:10,925 - Oh, I make you so wet! - You a good boy? 61 00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:12,827 You gonna do everything I tell you to do? 62 00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:13,795 - Yeah. - Yeah? 63 00:03:13,828 --> 00:03:14,662 - Uh-huh. - Yeah? 64 00:03:14,696 --> 00:03:16,430 - Yes. - Okay, keep fucking me, then. 65 00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:18,766 Harder, you little bitch! 66 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:20,835 Always such a fucking pussy! 67 00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,369 Fucking me. 68 00:03:22,402 --> 00:03:23,638 Don't come yet. 69 00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:25,472 - Hold it in! - Oh, I'm so close! 70 00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:28,643 Oh, I'm sorry! 71 00:03:45,727 --> 00:03:48,261 All right. 72 00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:53,534 Oh, man. 73 00:04:00,875 --> 00:04:06,581 Um... yeah, can I get a white chocolate mocha... 74 00:04:06,614 --> 00:04:08,482 decaf? 75 00:04:08,516 --> 00:04:12,887 Oh, and with skim milk, not regular milk. 76 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,488 Size? 77 00:04:14,522 --> 00:04:16,289 Um... 78 00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:21,863 Medium. 79 00:04:21,896 --> 00:04:24,331 Oh wait, no, no... large. 80 00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:25,833 Actually... 81 00:04:27,334 --> 00:04:30,037 Can I get a medium in a large cup 82 00:04:30,071 --> 00:04:33,440 with extra whipped cream? 83 00:04:35,877 --> 00:04:38,679 Yeah, sure. Anything else? 84 00:04:38,713 --> 00:04:41,916 Oh yeah. Can I get one of those low-cal bagels? 85 00:04:44,351 --> 00:04:47,588 Oh, um, the freshest one? 86 00:04:47,622 --> 00:04:51,993 No... not that one. The one in the back. 87 00:04:53,728 --> 00:04:55,897 Hey, man, you wanna do your job? 88 00:04:55,930 --> 00:04:57,832 I'm trying to get an education, 89 00:04:57,865 --> 00:04:59,801 make a better life for myself. 90 00:04:59,834 --> 00:05:01,936 - You're reading manga. - Yeah. 91 00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:04,005 - Hm. - Does that turn you on? 92 00:05:04,038 --> 00:05:06,908 A cultured man reading Japanese literature? 93 00:05:06,941 --> 00:05:09,644 My vagina has literally never been so dry. 94 00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:10,611 I'm into that. 95 00:05:10,645 --> 00:05:12,613 - Just like... - Fine. 96 00:05:12,647 --> 00:05:14,381 Sage? 97 00:05:14,414 --> 00:05:15,750 A word. 98 00:05:15,783 --> 00:05:16,918 Kyle. 99 00:05:20,555 --> 00:05:22,990 Sage, it's all about keeping the order side of the cup 100 00:05:23,024 --> 00:05:24,792 facing out. 101 00:05:24,826 --> 00:05:27,762 Expedited service, keeping it smooth, slick. 102 00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:32,432 After all, we are a well-oiled machine. 103 00:05:32,465 --> 00:05:33,801 - Yes. - Got it. 104 00:05:33,835 --> 00:05:37,638 Good, good, good. Also... ahem... 105 00:05:37,672 --> 00:05:40,373 We need to discuss your upsell tactics? 106 00:05:40,407 --> 00:05:41,108 Mm-hm. 107 00:05:42,777 --> 00:05:46,848 You know, this was brewed by Somalian street orphans. 108 00:05:46,881 --> 00:05:50,518 Lot of children had to die for this coffee. 109 00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:53,154 Here. 110 00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:55,756 Take it. It's yours. 111 00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:57,592 Take it. 112 00:05:57,625 --> 00:05:58,759 Goodbye. 113 00:05:58,793 --> 00:06:00,493 Enjoy! 114 00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:02,930 Think about it like carpe diem. 115 00:06:02,964 --> 00:06:04,866 Seize the opportunity. 116 00:06:04,899 --> 00:06:08,435 Make them want what they don't have. 117 00:06:08,468 --> 00:06:09,537 We're a model store. 118 00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:11,806 Other locations look up to us. 119 00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:13,574 I mean, it's like we are delivering 120 00:06:13,608 --> 00:06:15,643 the opiate of the masses. 121 00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:18,411 It's... it's a domino effect, 122 00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:21,782 really. 123 00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:23,951 Okay. 124 00:06:23,985 --> 00:06:25,019 - Was that it? - Yeah, that's all, 125 00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:27,487 back to the register. 126 00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:30,191 All right, people, let's keep it moving. 127 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,168 Hey, Sage! 128 00:06:41,202 --> 00:06:43,604 C'mere, come on. 129 00:06:43,638 --> 00:06:45,873 I just... I don't want you to forget 130 00:06:45,907 --> 00:06:49,577 to wipe down the tables, so... 131 00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:51,545 this is for you! 132 00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:54,615 I hope you choke on your vomit and die in your sleep. 133 00:06:54,649 --> 00:06:56,784 Stop flirting with me in the workplace. 134 00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:58,686 This is a sacred environment! 135 00:06:58,719 --> 00:07:00,721 Fine! I'll go out with you! 136 00:07:00,755 --> 00:07:01,923 Come back. Please come back. 137 00:07:01,956 --> 00:07:03,090 No. 138 00:07:05,593 --> 00:07:08,930 I really can't tell if I'm turned on 139 00:07:08,963 --> 00:07:10,898 or if I wanna, like, gouge out his eyes 140 00:07:10,932 --> 00:07:12,900 and force-feed him his own testicles, you know? 141 00:07:12,934 --> 00:07:14,902 Ooh! That, I can get on board with. 142 00:07:14,936 --> 00:07:16,469 How many times is he gonna upset you 143 00:07:16,504 --> 00:07:18,940 before you realize you just gotta move on? 144 00:07:18,973 --> 00:07:20,241 I suck at this game. 145 00:07:20,274 --> 00:07:22,009 You gotta give more hand jobs. 146 00:07:22,043 --> 00:07:24,512 Exercise that wrist. 147 00:07:24,545 --> 00:07:26,647 - Nobody likes hand jobs. - Whoa. 148 00:07:26,681 --> 00:07:28,215 Seventh-graders like hand jobs. 149 00:07:28,249 --> 00:07:29,517 That's true. 150 00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:31,152 - Ew. - You could masturbate. 151 00:07:31,185 --> 00:07:32,853 I hate masturbating. 152 00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:35,623 What did you say? 153 00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:36,891 My arm gets tired. 154 00:07:36,924 --> 00:07:38,059 Better start flickin' that clit. 155 00:07:38,092 --> 00:07:39,593 Ew, stop! 156 00:07:39,627 --> 00:07:40,661 You really need to get more comfortable 157 00:07:40,695 --> 00:07:42,029 with your sexuality. 158 00:07:42,063 --> 00:07:43,664 It has nothing to do with my sexuality. 159 00:07:43,698 --> 00:07:45,166 I just don't like that word. 160 00:07:45,199 --> 00:07:47,001 - "Clit"? - Yes. 161 00:07:47,034 --> 00:07:48,636 Or it really might be your sexuality. 162 00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:51,005 - Thank you. - I love sex! 163 00:07:51,038 --> 00:07:54,108 Cum! Penis! Vagina! Areola! 164 00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:55,142 Tip of the dick! 165 00:07:55,176 --> 00:07:56,911 I don't fuckin' know, I just don't like 166 00:07:56,944 --> 00:07:58,646 that specific word. 167 00:08:01,082 --> 00:08:02,550 Oh, shit! 168 00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:03,751 Eight! 169 00:08:03,784 --> 00:08:05,786 Sorry, Casey, you lose. 170 00:08:08,055 --> 00:08:09,824 So you can swallow jizz but you can't take down 171 00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:12,159 two ounces of tequila? 172 00:08:12,193 --> 00:08:14,562 I don't swallow. 173 00:08:17,031 --> 00:08:18,833 What do you do in bed? 174 00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:22,169 You swallow? 175 00:08:22,203 --> 00:08:23,637 Duh. 176 00:08:26,841 --> 00:08:28,175 Do you swallow? 177 00:08:28,209 --> 00:08:31,312 It depends on the guy, but... yeah. 178 00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:35,649 I mean, the consistency! It's like... 179 00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:37,585 melted rubber. 180 00:08:37,618 --> 00:08:40,054 That's why you gotta... deep-throat 181 00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:41,622 and just let it shoot back. 182 00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:43,224 It also sounds like he might be eating something 183 00:08:43,257 --> 00:08:44,425 that he should not be eating. 184 00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:46,227 I don't know, I think I'm just not a texture person 185 00:08:46,260 --> 00:08:47,495 or something. 186 00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:50,331 You can't complain about cum until you've had Jason Michaels 187 00:08:50,364 --> 00:08:52,199 blow his wad all over you. 188 00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:55,136 I forgot about Jason. 189 00:08:55,169 --> 00:08:57,638 - Who was Jason? - Junk jizz. 190 00:08:57,671 --> 00:09:00,241 A piece of jizz literally flew out of his dick 191 00:09:00,274 --> 00:09:02,610 onto my hand. 192 00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:05,613 Like the peelable glue that you get 193 00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:08,215 in magazine perfume samples. 194 00:09:11,185 --> 00:09:12,620 That's repulsive. 195 00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:13,788 Not as bad as Colgate jizz. 196 00:09:13,821 --> 00:09:15,189 - Debatable. - No! 197 00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:16,791 - Yes! - It's so much worse! 198 00:09:16,824 --> 00:09:17,758 - Go. - Okay. 199 00:09:17,792 --> 00:09:19,193 This guy, when he came, it was literally like 200 00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:20,428 squeezing a tube of toothpaste. 201 00:09:20,461 --> 00:09:25,132 The jizz just, like, spiraled out of the tip of his dick. 202 00:09:25,166 --> 00:09:26,700 Does that sound right to you? 203 00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:28,135 Does that sound right to you? 204 00:09:28,169 --> 00:09:31,272 - That is rich. - Gross adjectives. 205 00:09:31,305 --> 00:09:32,973 Why do you guys do this to me? 206 00:09:33,007 --> 00:09:34,775 And now you have rubber jizz, so, you know, 207 00:09:34,809 --> 00:09:36,677 it's like we're a team. 208 00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:38,379 Worst league ever. 209 00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:40,848 Whatever, man. 210 00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:42,316 - Oh, fuck! - What? 211 00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:44,285 I need to start handling my own prints, 212 00:09:44,318 --> 00:09:47,054 because I'm making, like, $2 through a third party. 213 00:09:47,088 --> 00:09:48,322 It's a total scam. 214 00:09:48,355 --> 00:09:49,423 - Hm. - Well, better start wearing 215 00:09:49,457 --> 00:09:52,393 low-cut shirts to work and rack up that tip money. 216 00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:55,129 Okay, yeah, first of all, I don't have boobs, 217 00:09:55,162 --> 00:09:56,831 if you didn't notice; secondly, 218 00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:58,265 please do not bring up work. 219 00:09:58,299 --> 00:09:59,333 I'll drink to that. 220 00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:01,936 What? I thought the publishing house was going well. 221 00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:05,106 An unpaid internship's not really helping with rent. 222 00:10:05,139 --> 00:10:06,307 You're still interning? 223 00:10:06,340 --> 00:10:07,441 I guess they're hesitant to move someone up 224 00:10:07,475 --> 00:10:11,112 with no college credentials and a late-in-life GED. 225 00:10:11,145 --> 00:10:13,013 I have a degree and I serve coffee for a living, 226 00:10:13,047 --> 00:10:14,815 if that makes you feel better. 227 00:10:14,849 --> 00:10:16,750 It does! Thank you. 228 00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:18,285 Yeah, but that's an art degree. 229 00:10:18,319 --> 00:10:20,154 Wow. 230 00:10:20,187 --> 00:10:22,389 Thank you for putting my failure into perspective. 231 00:10:22,423 --> 00:10:25,126 Okay, I didn't mean it like that. 232 00:10:25,159 --> 00:10:27,228 I just... 233 00:10:27,261 --> 00:10:28,896 There's no, like, set career path. 234 00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:30,664 Oh, believe me, I would much rather have a career 235 00:10:30,698 --> 00:10:33,367 with a path as clear-cut as selling insurance. 236 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,102 Okay. 237 00:10:35,136 --> 00:10:37,204 It's a transitional job. 238 00:10:37,238 --> 00:10:39,240 And it pays well. 239 00:10:39,273 --> 00:10:41,175 Not that that money's actually enjoyed. 240 00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:42,776 I love your dad, 241 00:10:42,810 --> 00:10:44,211 but he's draining you dry, honey. 242 00:10:44,245 --> 00:10:46,714 And how, exactly, are you paying for things? 243 00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:48,649 - Savings. - Hm. 244 00:10:49,817 --> 00:10:51,752 I don't have a lot of time. 245 00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:53,954 My conference is in 20 minutes. 246 00:10:53,988 --> 00:10:56,223 That's plenty. 247 00:10:56,257 --> 00:10:57,391 Sit down. 248 00:11:09,203 --> 00:11:10,871 Take off my pants. 249 00:11:29,757 --> 00:11:31,825 - Oh no, I'm good, thank you. - Drink it. 250 00:11:38,032 --> 00:11:40,301 Look at me. 251 00:11:40,334 --> 00:11:41,735 Yeah. 252 00:11:41,769 --> 00:11:45,039 Just like that. 253 00:11:45,072 --> 00:11:46,173 Keep drinking. 254 00:11:50,411 --> 00:11:53,080 Tastes good, doesn't it? 255 00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:56,518 - Mm-hm. - Mm-hm. 256 00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:14,401 Stop! Don't swallow! 257 00:12:14,435 --> 00:12:16,136 Oh, God! 258 00:12:18,172 --> 00:12:19,907 Slap me. 259 00:12:23,010 --> 00:12:24,445 Harder. 260 00:12:25,946 --> 00:12:27,515 Hit me again. 261 00:12:27,549 --> 00:12:30,050 Hit me again! 262 00:12:30,084 --> 00:12:31,252 Now, the water! 263 00:12:31,285 --> 00:12:32,987 Spit it in my face! 264 00:12:50,505 --> 00:12:52,273 You can go now. 265 00:13:20,334 --> 00:13:21,603 There you go. 266 00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:30,978 I think it's best to keep a positive perspective. 267 00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:32,479 I know this feels like a low point, 268 00:13:32,514 --> 00:13:36,518 but perhaps this could be a renewed beginning. 269 00:13:36,551 --> 00:13:37,951 If you'd like to come in twice a week, 270 00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:40,054 I do have an opening on Thursdays. 271 00:15:57,124 --> 00:16:00,227 Medium latte, triple shot, iced. 272 00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:01,529 Ahem! 273 00:16:08,202 --> 00:16:09,737 Are you sure you wouldn't like a large 274 00:16:09,771 --> 00:16:12,105 for just 25 cents more? 275 00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:16,711 I'm sure that I'd like a medium. 276 00:16:16,744 --> 00:16:18,312 Because if I wanted a large, 277 00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:20,047 I would have ordered a large. 278 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,415 And I'm also sure that I can't be late 279 00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:23,350 to a very important meeting, so, 280 00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:25,687 if you could do your job quickly 281 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:27,722 and get me the medium iced latte I ordered, 282 00:16:27,755 --> 00:16:30,324 I can give you this as a tip 283 00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:32,259 and we can say our goodbyes. 284 00:16:34,762 --> 00:16:37,130 Okay. 285 00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:38,766 Anything else? 286 00:16:48,810 --> 00:16:51,178 Thanks. 287 00:16:56,350 --> 00:16:57,719 - Hello. - Hi. 288 00:16:57,752 --> 00:16:59,253 Are you gonna help us close? 289 00:16:59,286 --> 00:17:00,755 Uh, no thanks. 290 00:17:00,788 --> 00:17:01,723 Okay, cool! 291 00:17:01,756 --> 00:17:05,392 Just remember, drive fast and take chances! 292 00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:09,463 Here. 293 00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:13,300 That is a solid amount of cash to be flaunting. 294 00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:16,571 Don't get overzealous and spend it all in one place. 295 00:17:16,604 --> 00:17:18,640 - Seventeen dollars? - America. 296 00:17:18,673 --> 00:17:20,140 Land of opportunity. 297 00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:21,643 No, I'm excited. 298 00:17:21,676 --> 00:17:23,310 It's the exact down payment I needed for my ad, actually, 299 00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:24,746 so... 300 00:17:24,779 --> 00:17:25,813 Ha-ha! Hard work really does pay off. 301 00:17:25,847 --> 00:17:28,115 It does! 302 00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:29,449 So. 303 00:17:29,483 --> 00:17:30,484 How's the art stuff? 304 00:17:30,518 --> 00:17:33,521 It's good, it's a nice, consistent reminder 305 00:17:33,555 --> 00:17:35,757 of my unfulfilled potential. 306 00:17:35,790 --> 00:17:37,424 So I should expect to see your work at the Getty 307 00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:38,693 in the near future. 308 00:17:38,726 --> 00:17:40,460 Oh yeah, any day now. 309 00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:42,262 You know, I really hope they display the one 310 00:17:42,296 --> 00:17:44,866 with the, uh, Grim Reaper and the coffee cup, 311 00:17:44,899 --> 00:17:47,267 I think that's my favorite. 312 00:17:47,301 --> 00:17:48,168 You asshole. 313 00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:50,505 I couldn't help myself. 314 00:17:50,538 --> 00:17:51,673 I'm sorry! 315 00:17:51,706 --> 00:17:54,341 I saw an opportunity while you were cleaning the bathroom! 316 00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:55,743 You're triggering some very sensitive issues 317 00:17:55,777 --> 00:17:57,444 from my childhood right now, please stop. 318 00:17:57,477 --> 00:17:58,345 Please stop. 319 00:17:58,378 --> 00:17:59,346 Ew! Get that out of my face right now. 320 00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:00,414 I'm serious. 321 00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:01,749 No, you made a very serious mistake. 322 00:18:01,783 --> 00:18:03,751 Okay. I have acne-prone skin. 323 00:18:03,785 --> 00:18:04,852 Why is it red? 324 00:18:04,886 --> 00:18:06,320 Because I used it to clean up the menstrual blood 325 00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:07,555 in the women's stall. 326 00:18:07,589 --> 00:18:09,791 What the fuck? No! Ew! No! 327 00:18:09,824 --> 00:18:12,159 No, and my guess is I'll really have you... 328 00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:13,795 Okay, please, I will do anything to make it up to you. 329 00:18:13,828 --> 00:18:15,897 - Please stop! - It's too late for that. 330 00:18:15,930 --> 00:18:18,165 Okay, I have a bowl in the back! 331 00:18:26,741 --> 00:18:28,509 Can I hit that yet? 332 00:18:29,877 --> 00:18:32,412 Nope. 333 00:18:32,446 --> 00:18:34,414 Can't believe you were gonna wipe period on my face. 334 00:18:34,448 --> 00:18:36,416 It was strawberry syrup, relax. 335 00:18:36,450 --> 00:18:38,519 You think I'd touch that rag? 336 00:18:41,623 --> 00:18:44,224 Your work really is great. 337 00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:47,762 Yeah, well, you and Edna seem to be the only two people 338 00:18:47,795 --> 00:18:49,664 that think that, so... 339 00:18:49,697 --> 00:18:51,164 - Edna? - Oh yeah. 340 00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:53,266 She's a repeat Etsy customer I have. 341 00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:56,838 She's, like, 60, has a parrot, and is a devout Wiccan, 342 00:18:56,871 --> 00:18:58,438 according to her profile. 343 00:18:58,472 --> 00:19:00,908 Whoa. 344 00:19:00,942 --> 00:19:03,811 Hey, at least you know you have a wide target audience. 345 00:19:03,845 --> 00:19:05,880 I really think you should make, like, 346 00:19:05,913 --> 00:19:09,550 a coffee table book or something, you know? 347 00:19:09,584 --> 00:19:11,485 Yeah, and then sell it to Urban Outfitters 348 00:19:11,519 --> 00:19:13,453 so edgy teens can purchase it? 349 00:19:13,487 --> 00:19:14,856 - Totally. - Fuck you, I'm being serious. 350 00:19:14,889 --> 00:19:17,558 You can put, like, little witty one-liners underneath. 351 00:19:17,592 --> 00:19:18,893 It'd be cool. 352 00:19:18,926 --> 00:19:21,261 No more input from you. 353 00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:24,666 Look. I'm just trying to keep the artistic spirit alive. 354 00:19:24,699 --> 00:19:27,267 And I, for one, appreciate your dark sense of humor. 355 00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:29,671 It reminds me of this director I've been getting into. 356 00:19:29,704 --> 00:19:31,506 He just did a movie about a widowed mortician 357 00:19:31,539 --> 00:19:33,541 that falls in love with one of his corpses, 358 00:19:33,574 --> 00:19:36,476 and, um, well, they're actually screening it this week, 359 00:19:36,511 --> 00:19:38,311 - I wanted to... - No. 360 00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:39,681 Yeah, I mean, I get it, you don't want to spend 361 00:19:39,714 --> 00:19:41,749 your hard-earned money on movie tickets. 362 00:19:41,783 --> 00:19:43,951 Which, uh, happens to work out perfectly, 363 00:19:43,985 --> 00:19:45,620 considering I have two tickets. 364 00:19:45,653 --> 00:19:46,788 Kyle! 365 00:19:46,821 --> 00:19:49,691 - I know what you're gonna say. - I don't date. 366 00:19:49,724 --> 00:19:50,792 Right. 367 00:19:50,825 --> 00:19:52,527 That's what I was getting to. 368 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:53,695 And I also don't like saying no, 369 00:19:53,728 --> 00:19:56,597 so the less you ask, the less I'll have to do that. 370 00:19:56,631 --> 00:19:58,298 For sure, for sure. 371 00:19:58,331 --> 00:20:00,802 Look. I respect your life choices. 372 00:20:00,835 --> 00:20:02,904 I, um, I just think you're missing 373 00:20:02,937 --> 00:20:04,739 a profound opportunity. 374 00:20:04,772 --> 00:20:07,508 Opportunity leads to disappointment. 375 00:20:07,542 --> 00:20:09,510 See, and then you say stuff like that 376 00:20:09,544 --> 00:20:12,580 and you lead me on and it's cruel. 377 00:20:14,749 --> 00:20:16,349 It's not you. 378 00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:19,453 You know that. 379 00:20:19,486 --> 00:20:20,722 What? 380 00:20:24,357 --> 00:20:26,426 Okay. 381 00:20:26,460 --> 00:20:27,929 We flirt, right? 382 00:20:27,962 --> 00:20:28,863 We hook up. 383 00:20:28,896 --> 00:20:29,797 We date for two years. 384 00:20:29,831 --> 00:20:30,965 Shit hits the fan, 385 00:20:30,998 --> 00:20:33,000 we take another two years to call it off, and by then, 386 00:20:33,034 --> 00:20:35,703 we're, like, 30 with nothing but wasted time, 387 00:20:35,737 --> 00:20:37,270 wasted youth, wasted emotions, 388 00:20:37,304 --> 00:20:41,609 and we've totally fucked each other up. 389 00:20:41,642 --> 00:20:47,048 I was thinking maybe we start with bowling or something? 390 00:20:47,081 --> 00:20:48,716 Hey, I'll let you think about it. 391 00:20:50,084 --> 00:20:51,152 You can finish that, I'm good. 392 00:20:51,185 --> 00:20:55,623 I'm gonna go mop up back of house or something. 393 00:21:42,003 --> 00:21:44,437 Hello, excuse me, excuse me! 394 00:21:45,940 --> 00:21:48,475 - Did she notice? - Nah, girl. You're good. 395 00:21:48,509 --> 00:21:50,011 Trish, you are a fucking angel. 396 00:21:50,044 --> 00:21:52,747 I know. 397 00:21:52,780 --> 00:21:53,714 Hi! 398 00:21:53,748 --> 00:21:55,415 Hi. 399 00:21:55,448 --> 00:21:57,819 Sorry, I get really sucked in when I'm reading. 400 00:21:57,852 --> 00:21:59,486 You must be Margaret. 401 00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:01,454 - Morgan. - Morgan, yes... no, sorry. 402 00:22:01,488 --> 00:22:03,858 I know I knew that. 403 00:22:03,891 --> 00:22:07,360 - Fuck! - That's okay. Close enough. 404 00:22:09,931 --> 00:22:11,065 And you are? 405 00:22:11,098 --> 00:22:13,466 Oh, Myles. 406 00:22:13,500 --> 00:22:16,904 I'm gonna be interning with you guys... girls, girls. 407 00:22:16,938 --> 00:22:19,941 - Female girls. - Cool! 408 00:22:19,974 --> 00:22:21,408 What happened to Amy? 409 00:22:21,441 --> 00:22:22,777 They moved her to the assistant position 410 00:22:22,810 --> 00:22:24,946 in Young Adult, lucky bitch. 411 00:22:24,979 --> 00:22:26,747 Good for her, though! 412 00:22:26,781 --> 00:22:28,983 I-I-I meant, like, uh, 413 00:22:29,016 --> 00:22:32,153 women advancing and the glass ceiling, and... 414 00:22:32,186 --> 00:22:33,821 Myles. 415 00:22:33,855 --> 00:22:35,056 Shut the fuck up. 416 00:22:35,089 --> 00:22:37,525 Okay. 417 00:22:44,599 --> 00:22:46,167 Olivia? 418 00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,669 Alan? 419 00:22:48,703 --> 00:22:50,705 Come on in. 420 00:22:55,109 --> 00:22:58,012 Make yourself comfortable. 421 00:23:21,769 --> 00:23:26,040 So, Alan. 422 00:23:26,073 --> 00:23:28,643 What do you want? 423 00:23:28,676 --> 00:23:31,212 Oh boy, um... 424 00:23:31,245 --> 00:23:34,782 I'm not entirely sure, uh... 425 00:23:34,815 --> 00:23:42,023 I do have some ideas, but I've... 426 00:23:42,056 --> 00:23:44,859 I've never done this before. 427 00:23:44,892 --> 00:23:46,661 Shy, huh? 428 00:23:46,694 --> 00:23:48,529 I like that. 429 00:23:48,562 --> 00:23:50,965 Don't be nervous. 430 00:23:50,998 --> 00:23:54,035 We'll work through it together. 431 00:23:54,068 --> 00:23:55,970 Let's start at the beginning. 432 00:23:56,003 --> 00:23:58,906 How do you like it? 433 00:23:58,940 --> 00:24:01,542 Hard or soft? 434 00:24:01,575 --> 00:24:02,910 Hard. 435 00:24:02,944 --> 00:24:04,679 Hard and fast or hard and slow? 436 00:24:04,712 --> 00:24:06,781 Oh, hard and slow. 437 00:24:06,814 --> 00:24:11,752 - I like hard and slow, too. - That's... that's great. 438 00:24:11,786 --> 00:24:13,988 Close your eyes for me. 439 00:24:19,226 --> 00:24:23,164 I want you to tell me exactly what you want to do to me. 440 00:24:23,197 --> 00:24:26,901 Okay? 441 00:24:26,934 --> 00:24:28,836 Okay. 442 00:24:31,939 --> 00:24:35,676 We're on the bed, 443 00:24:35,710 --> 00:24:42,116 and you're stroking my knee. 444 00:24:46,854 --> 00:24:48,622 It tickles. 445 00:24:48,656 --> 00:24:50,157 Do you like it when I stroke your knee? 446 00:24:50,191 --> 00:24:52,994 I like it when you stroke my knee. 447 00:24:53,027 --> 00:24:55,663 What else am I doing that you like? 448 00:24:55,696 --> 00:24:58,866 You unbutton my shirt, 449 00:24:58,899 --> 00:25:04,105 and then you... you take it off, 450 00:25:04,138 --> 00:25:10,845 and then my pants, you take those off too. 451 00:25:10,878 --> 00:25:15,883 And then... and then, you take your clothes off. 452 00:25:15,916 --> 00:25:21,555 So now, no one's wearing clothes. 453 00:25:21,589 --> 00:25:24,258 And... 454 00:25:24,291 --> 00:25:28,763 and then, you kiss me, 455 00:25:28,796 --> 00:25:37,571 and you kiss the... the tip of my penis, 456 00:25:37,605 --> 00:25:44,178 and you lick it, you lick it with your tongue. 457 00:25:44,211 --> 00:25:48,215 And you're sucking on it, 458 00:25:48,249 --> 00:25:50,751 and you're gagging. 459 00:25:50,785 --> 00:25:52,319 You're gagging so loud, 460 00:25:52,353 --> 00:25:56,624 and I slap you in the face with it. 461 00:25:56,657 --> 00:25:58,759 I dick-slap you right in the face, 462 00:25:58,793 --> 00:26:01,362 and you say, "Oh, slap me again, Daddy, 463 00:26:01,395 --> 00:26:04,131 with your big, fat cock!" 464 00:26:04,165 --> 00:26:06,934 And so I do. 465 00:26:06,967 --> 00:26:09,637 And then I grab you by the back of the hair 466 00:26:09,670 --> 00:26:11,739 and I pull you up 467 00:26:11,772 --> 00:26:16,043 and I press your face against the wall 468 00:26:16,077 --> 00:26:19,780 and I tell you what a bad girl you've been. 469 00:26:19,814 --> 00:26:22,850 And you beg me not to punish you, 470 00:26:22,883 --> 00:26:26,320 but bad girls need to get punished. 471 00:26:26,353 --> 00:26:28,289 So I spank you, 472 00:26:28,322 --> 00:26:30,925 I spank you so hard, 473 00:26:30,958 --> 00:26:33,327 and you say, "I'll be a good girl, Daddy, 474 00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:35,262 I promise!" 475 00:26:35,296 --> 00:26:38,399 And I say, "That's what you said last time. 476 00:26:38,432 --> 00:26:41,102 You need to learn your lesson, 477 00:26:41,135 --> 00:26:43,971 and I'm gonna fuck it into you." 478 00:26:44,004 --> 00:26:46,273 So that's what I do. 479 00:26:46,307 --> 00:26:47,942 I bend you over 480 00:26:47,975 --> 00:26:50,111 and I'm fucking you with my big cock, 481 00:26:50,144 --> 00:26:54,281 and your cum is dripping down my balls, 482 00:26:54,315 --> 00:26:58,252 and you're moaning and I'm spanking you 483 00:26:58,285 --> 00:27:00,387 and I'm choking you, 484 00:27:00,421 --> 00:27:03,657 hitting your head against the wall, 485 00:27:03,691 --> 00:27:05,693 and then I cum. 486 00:27:05,726 --> 00:27:09,430 I cum so hard, it shoots all over your face. 487 00:27:09,463 --> 00:27:12,099 And it's in your eyes, 488 00:27:12,133 --> 00:27:14,668 and it's dripping down your nose, 489 00:27:14,702 --> 00:27:18,239 and it's all over the filthy bathroom. 490 00:27:18,272 --> 00:27:20,808 And I look at you and I say, 491 00:27:20,841 --> 00:27:24,145 "Look at the mess you made, you dirty little bitch. 492 00:27:24,178 --> 00:27:26,981 Clean it up." 493 00:27:31,218 --> 00:27:34,788 So was it as good as the last time? 494 00:27:34,822 --> 00:27:36,924 Excuse me? 495 00:27:36,957 --> 00:27:38,425 Uh, the food. 496 00:27:38,459 --> 00:27:39,894 Full disclosure: 497 00:27:39,927 --> 00:27:40,961 I'm not trying to be creepy. 498 00:27:40,995 --> 00:27:42,062 I saw you here the other day 499 00:27:42,096 --> 00:27:43,130 and I was gonna say something, 500 00:27:43,164 --> 00:27:44,899 but then I didn't, 501 00:27:44,932 --> 00:27:47,768 because I kinda find you incredibly intimidating. 502 00:27:47,801 --> 00:27:49,737 You think I'm intimidating. 503 00:27:49,770 --> 00:27:52,439 - Very much so. - Wow. 504 00:27:52,473 --> 00:27:54,341 That's some poor judgment. 505 00:27:54,375 --> 00:27:57,111 No, I think you need to give yourself more credit. 506 00:27:57,144 --> 00:27:58,879 Well, I can't be that intimidating 507 00:27:58,913 --> 00:28:00,848 with the quick turnaround. 508 00:28:00,881 --> 00:28:02,082 Oh... no, I had a beer. 509 00:28:02,116 --> 00:28:06,020 - Ah. The truth comes out. - So it does. 510 00:28:11,926 --> 00:28:13,727 I'm Lowick. 511 00:28:13,761 --> 00:28:14,962 Morgan. 512 00:28:14,995 --> 00:28:16,363 Just so you know, 513 00:28:16,397 --> 00:28:19,333 I kinda consider myself a pho connoisseur. 514 00:28:19,366 --> 00:28:22,870 That is... that is painfully dorky. 515 00:28:22,903 --> 00:28:23,938 Speaking of, 516 00:28:23,971 --> 00:28:26,740 you are more than welcome to come sit over here, 517 00:28:26,774 --> 00:28:28,175 if you want. 518 00:28:28,209 --> 00:28:29,476 Because you're eating alone 519 00:28:29,511 --> 00:28:32,279 and you look like a total loser. 520 00:28:32,313 --> 00:28:34,516 You're eating alone. 521 00:28:34,549 --> 00:28:35,916 Well, yeah, but I already have the whole dork thing 522 00:28:35,950 --> 00:28:37,117 going on pretty strong, 523 00:28:37,151 --> 00:28:38,919 so loser suits me. 524 00:28:38,953 --> 00:28:40,788 I do like sports, though. 525 00:28:40,821 --> 00:28:42,957 - I don't think that helps. - Shit. 526 00:28:48,429 --> 00:28:50,164 You know what? 527 00:28:50,197 --> 00:28:52,032 Just forget I said anything. 528 00:28:52,066 --> 00:28:56,036 Or I... you look like you've had a hard week. 529 00:28:56,070 --> 00:28:58,105 So I'm... I'm gonna come over there with this. 530 00:29:04,211 --> 00:29:05,246 Hi! 531 00:29:05,279 --> 00:29:08,415 Hi. 532 00:29:08,449 --> 00:29:10,784 - You know what's crazy? - What? 533 00:29:10,818 --> 00:29:12,453 Sitting at a table with another human being 534 00:29:12,486 --> 00:29:14,822 can make you feel so much better about your life. 535 00:29:16,857 --> 00:29:18,192 So what happened? 536 00:29:18,225 --> 00:29:20,060 With what? 537 00:29:20,094 --> 00:29:21,395 You know. Your day. 538 00:29:21,428 --> 00:29:22,463 You look like you had a hard day, 539 00:29:22,496 --> 00:29:24,164 and we've established it can't possibly be 540 00:29:24,198 --> 00:29:25,933 about the food. 541 00:29:25,966 --> 00:29:27,268 Just work stuff. 542 00:29:27,301 --> 00:29:29,169 Mm. I get that. 543 00:29:29,203 --> 00:29:31,839 Work can be a pain in the ass. 544 00:29:31,872 --> 00:29:34,041 You have no idea. 545 00:29:34,074 --> 00:29:35,242 Why? What do you do? 546 00:29:35,276 --> 00:29:36,210 It's lame. 547 00:29:36,243 --> 00:29:37,878 Oh my God. 548 00:29:37,911 --> 00:29:39,581 - You just lied to me. - No I didn't. 549 00:29:39,614 --> 00:29:41,248 We just shared our first lie, 550 00:29:41,282 --> 00:29:42,883 and it came from your mouth. 551 00:29:42,916 --> 00:29:44,151 - No! - Here's the thing about lying. 552 00:29:44,184 --> 00:29:45,986 Lying is something that I do not mess around with, 553 00:29:46,020 --> 00:29:47,021 me personally. 554 00:29:47,054 --> 00:29:48,355 If this is something we're gonna continue... 555 00:29:48,389 --> 00:29:49,490 "This"? 556 00:29:49,524 --> 00:29:51,091 Yeah, eating at the same restaurant. 557 00:29:51,125 --> 00:29:52,326 Got it. 558 00:29:52,359 --> 00:29:56,063 Then I'm gonna need you to be completely honest with me. 559 00:29:56,096 --> 00:29:58,832 I think I can manage that. 560 00:29:58,866 --> 00:30:00,602 So, Morgan. 561 00:30:00,635 --> 00:30:03,337 - Yes. - What do you do? 562 00:30:03,370 --> 00:30:05,406 I'm an almost-publisher. 563 00:30:05,439 --> 00:30:07,174 - Mm. - Mm. 564 00:30:07,207 --> 00:30:08,409 So you just loiter outside of the building 565 00:30:08,442 --> 00:30:09,611 demanding pay? 566 00:30:09,644 --> 00:30:11,546 - Yes. - Oh, I'm sorry. 567 00:30:11,579 --> 00:30:15,182 I didn't mean to, uh, underestimate your position. 568 00:30:15,215 --> 00:30:19,486 Okay. What kind of books do you pretend-publish? 569 00:30:19,521 --> 00:30:21,121 Fantasy. 570 00:30:24,425 --> 00:30:25,359 Say that again. 571 00:30:25,392 --> 00:30:26,460 Fantasy. 572 00:30:26,493 --> 00:30:27,995 - No, I heard you the first time. - Okay. 573 00:30:28,028 --> 00:30:30,164 You were making fun of me and calling me a loser. 574 00:30:30,197 --> 00:30:31,932 Fantasy can be really cool. 575 00:30:31,965 --> 00:30:33,901 Yeah, if you're my nine-year-old nephew 576 00:30:33,934 --> 00:30:35,369 and you're in love with Twilight. 577 00:30:35,402 --> 00:30:36,538 Your nephew likes Twilight? 578 00:30:36,571 --> 00:30:38,005 He loves Twilight. 579 00:30:38,038 --> 00:30:40,007 He's not very popular with the ladies. 580 00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:41,442 Oh. I've got cash. 581 00:30:41,475 --> 00:30:42,510 No, it's fine, I got it. 582 00:30:42,544 --> 00:30:44,345 Put it on the card. Thanks. 583 00:30:44,378 --> 00:30:46,614 You're good, he's gone. 584 00:30:46,648 --> 00:30:48,215 Okay, hm. 585 00:30:48,248 --> 00:30:52,252 What is the best almost-book you've ever read? 586 00:30:52,286 --> 00:30:55,389 - Really? - Yeah. 587 00:30:55,422 --> 00:30:57,991 Okay, um... 588 00:30:58,025 --> 00:31:00,427 it's about these two worlds that exist. 589 00:31:00,461 --> 00:31:02,664 One is well-manicured, it's for the elite, 590 00:31:02,697 --> 00:31:04,498 and the other one is rural, 591 00:31:04,532 --> 00:31:08,402 - it's incredibly impoverished. - It's like Elysium. 592 00:31:08,435 --> 00:31:09,504 The Matt Damon movie. 593 00:31:09,537 --> 00:31:11,171 If this is dumb, we really don't have to do this. 594 00:31:11,205 --> 00:31:13,040 No, keep talking I'm listening, I'm sorry. 595 00:31:13,073 --> 00:31:14,441 - I'll shut up. - Yeah? Okay. 596 00:31:14,475 --> 00:31:16,611 So, this child is born in the second world, 597 00:31:16,644 --> 00:31:19,913 but this mom, she doesn't want her child to live, like, 598 00:31:19,947 --> 00:31:21,115 through a life of struggles. 599 00:31:21,148 --> 00:31:23,083 So she smuggles the baby to the first world. 600 00:31:23,117 --> 00:31:24,619 Naturally. 601 00:31:26,554 --> 00:31:27,689 That's it. 602 00:31:27,722 --> 00:31:28,956 That's all you're gonna tell me. 603 00:31:28,989 --> 00:31:30,057 Yes. 604 00:31:30,090 --> 00:31:31,559 You're just gonna leave me on a cliff like that. 605 00:31:31,593 --> 00:31:33,293 Well, you're engaged, right? 606 00:31:33,327 --> 00:31:35,129 This is like the end of The Sopranos. 607 00:31:35,162 --> 00:31:36,930 - Well, you're not gonna... - You just cut to bl... 608 00:31:40,968 --> 00:31:43,237 Seem a little tense, kiddo. 609 00:31:43,270 --> 00:31:45,707 I'm fine. 610 00:31:45,740 --> 00:31:47,441 Work stuff. 611 00:31:47,474 --> 00:31:48,643 I'm telling you, 612 00:31:48,676 --> 00:31:51,044 you have to check out this forum that I've been attending. 613 00:31:52,279 --> 00:31:54,047 Don't laugh. 614 00:31:54,081 --> 00:31:57,719 Okay? It's about choosing your happiness, okay? 615 00:31:57,752 --> 00:31:59,353 Being proactive. 616 00:31:59,386 --> 00:32:01,955 None of this manifesting or meditation bullshit. 617 00:32:01,989 --> 00:32:03,591 I mean, it's real stuff that you can use 618 00:32:03,625 --> 00:32:05,727 and make an immediate impact in your life. 619 00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:07,695 - Immediate? - Yeah. Well... 620 00:32:07,729 --> 00:32:10,532 it still takes time and work, you know, 621 00:32:10,565 --> 00:32:12,099 but it's... it's really incredible. 622 00:32:12,132 --> 00:32:15,235 No, it sounds like a pyramid scheme. 623 00:32:15,269 --> 00:32:16,704 It's not... 624 00:32:16,738 --> 00:32:18,472 - Forget it. - No, I'm sorry, Dad, I'm sorry, 625 00:32:18,506 --> 00:32:22,176 keep telling me about your cult. 626 00:32:22,209 --> 00:32:24,311 It's not a cult. 627 00:32:24,344 --> 00:32:25,680 Look, all I'm saying is, 628 00:32:25,713 --> 00:32:27,481 it pushes you to get out there 629 00:32:27,515 --> 00:32:29,717 and make the most of our time here. 630 00:32:29,751 --> 00:32:31,084 Hm. 631 00:32:31,118 --> 00:32:32,319 Did you know 632 00:32:32,352 --> 00:32:34,689 that the chances of us being who we are, 633 00:32:34,722 --> 00:32:37,291 alive, right now at this time, 634 00:32:37,324 --> 00:32:39,426 is one in three trillion? 635 00:32:39,460 --> 00:32:41,328 - Oh wow. - Yeah. Isn't that amazing? 636 00:32:41,361 --> 00:32:43,497 - Can I get you anything else? - Yeah, another mimosa, please. 637 00:32:43,531 --> 00:32:45,265 Definitely. 638 00:32:45,299 --> 00:32:47,434 - And for you, sir? - Uh, yeah, um... 639 00:32:47,468 --> 00:32:49,571 I'll just take some more coffee and, uh... 640 00:32:49,604 --> 00:32:51,539 and the check, please. 641 00:32:51,573 --> 00:32:55,042 - Thank you. - Thank you. 642 00:32:57,144 --> 00:32:59,246 You can talk to me. 643 00:32:59,279 --> 00:33:01,583 I know. I know! 644 00:33:01,616 --> 00:33:03,183 I know I can. 645 00:33:06,654 --> 00:33:09,022 I love you. 646 00:33:09,056 --> 00:33:11,024 I love you too. 647 00:33:11,058 --> 00:33:12,760 Promise me you'll check into the forum? 648 00:33:14,361 --> 00:33:17,097 Hey! Thank you, I got that. 649 00:33:17,130 --> 00:33:20,467 Oof. Um, yeah, got my, uh, cards right here, 650 00:33:20,501 --> 00:33:24,037 packed them, yeah... 651 00:33:24,071 --> 00:33:25,205 Wait a second. 652 00:33:25,239 --> 00:33:26,774 Coulda sworn I put them right here. 653 00:33:26,808 --> 00:33:29,209 I woke up this morning, I put it in my... yes, I know, 654 00:33:29,243 --> 00:33:32,446 they've gotta be here, I know they're here. 655 00:33:32,479 --> 00:33:34,682 Dammit. 656 00:33:34,716 --> 00:33:36,483 I put it here, I know I put it here today, 657 00:33:36,518 --> 00:33:37,619 - I put it right here. - You know, Dad, totally fine. 658 00:33:37,652 --> 00:33:38,786 - I got it. - No, no, no, no, no. 659 00:33:38,820 --> 00:33:39,621 - Don't even worry about it. - A father should be able 660 00:33:39,654 --> 00:33:41,488 to take his daughter out for lunch. 661 00:33:41,523 --> 00:33:42,489 Just give me one second, please. 662 00:33:42,524 --> 00:33:44,091 - Put it on there... - I'll take that, please, 663 00:33:44,124 --> 00:33:45,492 just do that. 664 00:33:45,527 --> 00:33:47,795 Dad, totally fine, not a big deal. 665 00:33:47,829 --> 00:33:50,097 Put that right there, hold on a second, I think... 666 00:33:50,130 --> 00:33:51,699 ahh! 667 00:33:51,733 --> 00:33:52,767 Forgot I put 'em in my pants. 668 00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:54,501 - Could you do me a favor? - Oh, he has two cards. 669 00:33:54,536 --> 00:33:55,637 - Thirty on this one. - Thirty on that. 670 00:33:55,670 --> 00:33:57,337 And then the rest on... 671 00:33:57,371 --> 00:33:58,372 - Is that the same card? - You know what? 672 00:33:58,405 --> 00:33:59,339 He'll pay me back. 673 00:33:59,373 --> 00:34:00,608 - Thank you so much. - Dad, I was a waiter, 674 00:34:00,642 --> 00:34:01,743 that's really difficult, please. 675 00:34:01,776 --> 00:34:03,110 - No, it's not! - Okay, fine. 676 00:34:03,143 --> 00:34:05,445 Oh my God, Dad, please! 677 00:34:05,479 --> 00:34:07,114 Here, it's totally fine, thank you. 678 00:34:07,147 --> 00:34:08,550 You know what? Hey, hey... 679 00:34:10,518 --> 00:34:12,720 It's totally fine. 680 00:34:20,828 --> 00:34:22,129 You didn't have to do that. 681 00:34:22,162 --> 00:34:25,600 Dad, it's fine. 682 00:34:25,633 --> 00:34:27,401 You think I like my daughter paying for herself 683 00:34:27,434 --> 00:34:29,737 - around me? - I'm an adult! 684 00:34:29,771 --> 00:34:32,105 It's okay. 685 00:34:32,139 --> 00:34:33,541 Maybe. 686 00:34:33,575 --> 00:34:35,275 But you're still my child. 687 00:34:35,309 --> 00:34:37,210 Okay. 688 00:34:40,380 --> 00:34:41,315 Bottoms up. 689 00:34:51,659 --> 00:34:53,795 Oh my God! 690 00:34:53,828 --> 00:34:55,128 No, that's not true. 691 00:34:55,162 --> 00:34:56,798 No, it's fine, I'm... 692 00:34:59,399 --> 00:35:00,668 No! Somebody's gonna see. 693 00:35:00,702 --> 00:35:02,235 Nobody's gonna see. 694 00:35:02,269 --> 00:35:03,905 - It's gonna be fine. - Yes, they are! 695 00:35:03,938 --> 00:35:06,206 I'm into it, I'm into it. 696 00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:07,542 My God, no, just come in. 697 00:35:07,575 --> 00:35:08,876 It's a quiet hallway. 698 00:35:08,910 --> 00:35:10,545 Do you wanna... do you wanna come in? 699 00:35:10,578 --> 00:35:14,214 Yeah, let's... let's go inside. 700 00:35:15,382 --> 00:35:17,351 Give me a break. 701 00:35:17,384 --> 00:35:18,586 Come on. Go ahead. 702 00:35:59,359 --> 00:36:00,895 Casey. 703 00:36:00,928 --> 00:36:02,195 It's good to see you. 704 00:36:02,229 --> 00:36:03,363 I thought you were out of town, Max. 705 00:36:03,397 --> 00:36:04,732 I was. 706 00:36:04,766 --> 00:36:07,367 But I'm back now. 707 00:36:07,401 --> 00:36:08,736 But don't worry, these walls are... 708 00:36:09,804 --> 00:36:11,673 ...pretty thick. 709 00:36:11,706 --> 00:36:13,641 Is Nathan home? 710 00:36:13,675 --> 00:36:15,375 Maybe. 711 00:36:15,409 --> 00:36:17,912 I think he was, uh, texting some girl. 712 00:36:22,282 --> 00:36:23,483 Hey, sexy. 713 00:36:23,518 --> 00:36:25,452 Hey. 714 00:36:25,485 --> 00:36:27,387 Hey, sexy. 715 00:36:27,421 --> 00:36:29,489 Um, right back at you. 716 00:36:29,524 --> 00:36:30,658 Thank you. 717 00:36:30,692 --> 00:36:32,292 This is a very, 718 00:36:32,325 --> 00:36:34,394 very, very, very, very pleasant surprise. 719 00:36:34,428 --> 00:36:35,930 - Yeah? - Yeah. 720 00:36:35,963 --> 00:36:38,900 Well, lucky for you I have another surprise for you. 721 00:36:38,933 --> 00:36:40,233 Gimme your hand. 722 00:36:44,038 --> 00:36:46,406 - No underwear. - Mm-hm. 723 00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:48,341 - Smooth. - Yeah. 724 00:36:53,948 --> 00:36:56,316 Oh, you're smooth too. 725 00:36:56,349 --> 00:36:58,586 We really gotta work on our sex talk. 726 00:36:58,619 --> 00:37:01,589 Yeah, we do. 727 00:37:04,892 --> 00:37:07,028 Ow, ow, ow, my ear. 728 00:37:09,496 --> 00:37:10,497 Sorry, sorry. 729 00:37:11,599 --> 00:37:12,834 Good try, yeah. 730 00:37:24,579 --> 00:37:26,848 And one more thing, just to conclude. 731 00:37:26,881 --> 00:37:29,316 The employee with the most upsells... 732 00:37:29,349 --> 00:37:31,018 remember, upsells... 733 00:37:31,052 --> 00:37:32,854 at the end of each month will get a prize. 734 00:37:32,887 --> 00:37:35,288 This month, the prize will be... 735 00:37:35,322 --> 00:37:37,558 drumroll, please. 736 00:37:45,032 --> 00:37:47,400 Yeah, thanks, Jeff. 737 00:37:47,434 --> 00:37:50,972 The winner will get 20 Dave & Buster's dollars! 738 00:37:51,005 --> 00:37:54,374 What? Yes! 739 00:37:54,407 --> 00:37:56,043 - I have a question. - What? 740 00:37:56,077 --> 00:37:58,311 Is that exchangeable? 741 00:37:58,345 --> 00:37:59,446 Exchangeable for what? 742 00:37:59,479 --> 00:38:00,948 - Well, real money. - For cash. 743 00:38:00,982 --> 00:38:02,482 I don't go to Dave & Buster's. 744 00:38:02,517 --> 00:38:05,586 No, shut up. Anyone else? 745 00:38:05,620 --> 00:38:07,622 - When's this meeting over? - Pardon? 746 00:38:07,655 --> 00:38:09,023 Never mind. 747 00:38:09,056 --> 00:38:11,726 Do you even work here? 748 00:38:11,759 --> 00:38:13,795 Ma'am, I'm sorry, we open at 5 a.m. 749 00:38:13,828 --> 00:38:15,696 You have to stop doing this. 750 00:38:15,730 --> 00:38:17,098 It's not funny, Sage. 751 00:38:17,131 --> 00:38:18,465 Sorry. 752 00:38:18,498 --> 00:38:19,834 It's not funny. 753 00:38:19,867 --> 00:38:21,434 Can we lock the doors next time? 754 00:38:21,468 --> 00:38:23,971 - All right. - Yeah, thanks. 755 00:38:39,419 --> 00:38:41,656 Oh, loser! 756 00:38:41,689 --> 00:38:43,925 Okay, I was going easy on you, 757 00:38:43,958 --> 00:38:45,492 but I'm done doing it. 758 00:38:50,698 --> 00:38:52,066 You scored on yourself! 759 00:38:52,099 --> 00:38:53,366 All right, you see this? 760 00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:54,769 - Yeah. - So let's talk about... 761 00:38:54,802 --> 00:38:57,004 - Talk about what? - ...the next... 762 00:38:58,639 --> 00:39:00,107 Ooh. This is a fast game. 763 00:39:07,181 --> 00:39:08,149 Come on, then. 764 00:39:10,685 --> 00:39:14,454 Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! 765 00:39:14,487 --> 00:39:15,857 Man, I can't wait to see the face you make 766 00:39:15,890 --> 00:39:17,124 when you lose. 767 00:39:17,158 --> 00:39:18,793 Yeah, that's... yeah, that's rich. 768 00:39:18,826 --> 00:39:20,995 You're a goddamned fucking comedian. 769 00:39:21,028 --> 00:39:22,597 Thank you. 770 00:39:22,630 --> 00:39:24,065 No, no... wait, wait! 771 00:39:24,098 --> 00:39:25,600 Stakes. 772 00:39:25,633 --> 00:39:28,468 Ooh. Forgot about stakes. 773 00:39:28,501 --> 00:39:29,737 Name your price. 774 00:39:29,770 --> 00:39:33,074 I win, you get a Sailor Moon tattoo 775 00:39:33,107 --> 00:39:34,275 on your ass. 776 00:39:34,308 --> 00:39:38,779 Mm. Yeah, no, I was thinking more in the realm of, like, 777 00:39:38,813 --> 00:39:39,981 mm, I buy you dinner. 778 00:39:40,014 --> 00:39:41,481 You already bought me dinner. 779 00:39:41,515 --> 00:39:43,918 Okay. Use it as a frame of reference. 780 00:39:43,951 --> 00:39:46,754 Um... 781 00:39:46,787 --> 00:39:48,789 Oh, oh, oh, ha! 782 00:39:48,823 --> 00:39:50,124 I win, 783 00:39:50,157 --> 00:39:53,194 you shave off both your eyebrows. 784 00:39:53,227 --> 00:39:54,996 No. But closer. 785 00:39:55,029 --> 00:39:56,130 Pussy? 786 00:39:56,163 --> 00:39:58,566 Sure. Yeah, you win, I get your pussy. 787 00:40:03,070 --> 00:40:07,174 It was a joke, I don't want any of your pussy. 788 00:40:07,208 --> 00:40:09,777 I am so sorry, that was such a bad joke. 789 00:40:09,810 --> 00:40:12,079 Ooh! I win, 790 00:40:12,113 --> 00:40:14,115 you paint your nails hot pink. 791 00:40:14,148 --> 00:40:16,083 I'm not really sure how you made that leap, 792 00:40:16,117 --> 00:40:17,118 but done! 793 00:40:17,151 --> 00:40:18,586 - Toenails included. - Fine. 794 00:40:18,619 --> 00:40:20,621 But, if I win... 795 00:40:20,655 --> 00:40:22,523 Unlikely. 796 00:40:22,556 --> 00:40:23,758 ...you have to tell me something about yourself 797 00:40:23,791 --> 00:40:26,459 that most people don't know. 798 00:40:26,493 --> 00:40:27,662 You're a closed book. 799 00:40:27,695 --> 00:40:29,630 Gotta get the story out somehow. 800 00:40:29,664 --> 00:40:31,132 Although I don't know why you'd be worried 801 00:40:31,165 --> 00:40:32,633 unless you think maybe there's some chance 802 00:40:32,667 --> 00:40:35,002 you might lose? 803 00:40:35,036 --> 00:40:36,904 Funny, you fucking bastard. 804 00:40:36,938 --> 00:40:37,872 You ready? 805 00:40:37,905 --> 00:40:38,773 Oh, I'm ready. 806 00:40:38,806 --> 00:40:41,709 - Yeah? - Yeah. 807 00:40:43,644 --> 00:40:45,513 Almost. 808 00:40:45,546 --> 00:40:46,514 - Oh! - Oh my God, 809 00:40:46,547 --> 00:40:47,648 you're so angry. 810 00:40:50,084 --> 00:40:51,052 Oh, God. 811 00:40:53,587 --> 00:40:56,757 - Yes! - Nooo! No, no, no, no! 812 00:40:56,791 --> 00:41:00,194 - I told you I'd win. - No! Oh, I can't breathe. 813 00:41:00,227 --> 00:41:01,095 Oh, that is rich. 814 00:41:01,128 --> 00:41:02,563 - Hold still. - No, no. 815 00:41:02,596 --> 00:41:04,098 Okay, good. Hold still, hold still, hold still. 816 00:41:04,131 --> 00:41:05,933 Hold on, hold on, hold on. 817 00:41:05,967 --> 00:41:07,735 - No, no! - That's good, that's perfect. 818 00:41:07,768 --> 00:41:09,570 Oh, look, look! 819 00:41:09,603 --> 00:41:11,939 - Oh, the face of defeat... - Help me! 820 00:41:11,973 --> 00:41:13,040 ...is rich! 821 00:41:16,644 --> 00:41:19,513 It is like that homeless man bent over and released 822 00:41:19,547 --> 00:41:22,283 an inhuman amount of explosive diarrhea, 823 00:41:22,316 --> 00:41:24,719 and then decided to just do, like, 824 00:41:24,752 --> 00:41:27,221 a 360 while he was at it. 825 00:41:27,254 --> 00:41:29,757 Wow. Is that what you say to all the ladies? 826 00:41:29,790 --> 00:41:30,992 Just you. 827 00:41:31,025 --> 00:41:32,026 Touched. 828 00:41:32,059 --> 00:41:34,195 Hey, do you think the ceiling fan in the back 829 00:41:34,228 --> 00:41:35,997 is high enough for me to hang a noose from? 830 00:41:36,030 --> 00:41:38,065 Come on, don't sound so bleak. 831 00:41:38,099 --> 00:41:40,768 You've got those Dave & Buster's bucks to look forward to, 832 00:41:40,801 --> 00:41:41,969 you can't forget that, 833 00:41:42,003 --> 00:41:43,571 it's important information. 834 00:41:43,604 --> 00:41:44,605 All right, I'm just gonna come out and say it, 835 00:41:44,638 --> 00:41:46,140 'cause I know everyone else is thinking it. 836 00:41:46,173 --> 00:41:47,908 You're gay? 837 00:41:47,942 --> 00:41:48,976 I wish. 838 00:41:49,010 --> 00:41:50,611 My romantic life would be a lot less depressing 839 00:41:50,644 --> 00:41:51,779 if that was the case. 840 00:41:51,812 --> 00:41:53,848 Well, word on the street is you've given a blow job, 841 00:41:53,881 --> 00:41:55,816 so I'm sure if you enjoyed that, 842 00:41:55,850 --> 00:41:58,219 you will be pleasantly surprised by it. 843 00:41:58,252 --> 00:41:59,687 Okay, first of all, 844 00:41:59,720 --> 00:42:01,655 I was on the receiving end of that blow job, 845 00:42:01,689 --> 00:42:03,290 and that was a onetime experiment, 846 00:42:03,324 --> 00:42:04,892 it doesn't make me gay. 847 00:42:04,925 --> 00:42:06,327 It's not... 848 00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:07,828 It definitely brings your level of straight 849 00:42:07,862 --> 00:42:08,729 into question. 850 00:42:08,763 --> 00:42:09,663 Like you're so pure, 851 00:42:09,697 --> 00:42:12,833 Miss "It's easier to go down on a girl 852 00:42:12,867 --> 00:42:15,036 than it is to suck a dick." 853 00:42:16,237 --> 00:42:18,806 Yeah. It is. It absolutely is. 854 00:42:18,839 --> 00:42:20,574 And that was a threesome situation, 855 00:42:20,608 --> 00:42:23,110 not one-on-one, so totally different scenario. 856 00:42:23,144 --> 00:42:24,211 You know what? 857 00:42:24,245 --> 00:42:26,247 Those certificates are going straight to Grace Kim, 858 00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:27,214 by the way. 859 00:42:27,248 --> 00:42:29,316 Who, by pure chance being of Asian descent 860 00:42:29,350 --> 00:42:33,187 has the natural ability to just beat all of us, 861 00:42:33,220 --> 00:42:34,088 because she's Asian. 862 00:42:34,121 --> 00:42:35,890 Yeah, I don't think the ceiling fan 863 00:42:35,923 --> 00:42:38,059 will sustain your weight, but... 864 00:42:38,092 --> 00:42:40,194 you could try the exposed pipe in the walk-in freezer. 865 00:42:40,227 --> 00:42:41,796 Just a thought. 866 00:42:42,930 --> 00:42:44,365 I love my life. 867 00:42:44,398 --> 00:42:46,634 Well, it could be worse. 868 00:42:46,667 --> 00:42:48,302 You could be Laurel. 869 00:42:48,335 --> 00:42:50,004 I never thought about that. 870 00:42:50,037 --> 00:42:52,006 - That's really dark. - That's super dark. 871 00:42:52,039 --> 00:42:53,741 That's also funny! 872 00:42:53,774 --> 00:42:56,177 I'm telling you, you got this dark humor thing down. 873 00:42:56,210 --> 00:42:57,645 You should really capitalize on it, 874 00:42:57,678 --> 00:42:58,913 do some stand-up. 875 00:42:58,946 --> 00:43:01,082 In fact, there's this really cool open mic 876 00:43:01,115 --> 00:43:02,950 - Thursday... - No! 877 00:43:02,983 --> 00:43:03,784 What can I do? 878 00:43:03,818 --> 00:43:05,252 What can I do to change your mind? 879 00:43:06,854 --> 00:43:09,023 Not suck dick, yeah. 880 00:43:09,056 --> 00:43:11,225 I told you, I was on the receiving end. 881 00:43:11,258 --> 00:43:14,061 Oh my God, I forgot, yeah, and also not get your dick sucked 882 00:43:14,095 --> 00:43:15,162 by other dudes. 883 00:43:15,196 --> 00:43:17,398 See? Now you're just setting me up for failure. 884 00:43:17,431 --> 00:43:18,567 Why do you do that? 885 00:43:18,599 --> 00:43:20,835 Oh no, you are doing that all on your own, I promise. 886 00:43:20,868 --> 00:43:23,804 So if I hadn't let Martin have his way with me, 887 00:43:23,838 --> 00:43:25,072 then you'd let me date you? 888 00:43:25,106 --> 00:43:26,640 Honestly? 889 00:43:26,674 --> 00:43:28,275 I don't even care that you like dudes, whatever. 890 00:43:28,309 --> 00:43:32,279 It's your... general existence that repels me, 891 00:43:32,313 --> 00:43:33,948 it's just like, ugh. 892 00:43:33,981 --> 00:43:36,183 Wow. Okay, you know what? 893 00:43:36,217 --> 00:43:37,418 I don't even like you anymore. 894 00:43:37,451 --> 00:43:38,986 All right? There. I said it. 895 00:43:39,019 --> 00:43:40,187 I've been over you for a while. 896 00:43:40,221 --> 00:43:41,288 And you know what? 897 00:43:41,322 --> 00:43:44,225 Martin loves me for who I am, 898 00:43:44,258 --> 00:43:47,728 so fuck you. 899 00:43:47,761 --> 00:43:49,063 Where are you going? 900 00:43:49,096 --> 00:43:52,867 I'm going to hang myself from the freezer. 901 00:43:52,900 --> 00:43:53,968 Unless you'd miss me. 902 00:43:54,001 --> 00:43:56,170 Oh no, you go ahead, you have fun. 903 00:43:56,203 --> 00:43:58,105 Bye! 904 00:43:58,939 --> 00:44:01,342 Okay. 905 00:44:01,375 --> 00:44:05,012 Have I got something special for you. 906 00:44:07,248 --> 00:44:09,016 So what is it? 907 00:44:09,049 --> 00:44:11,752 Some red wine. 908 00:44:11,785 --> 00:44:13,420 - Tell me. Tell me. - It's a good cab, 909 00:44:13,454 --> 00:44:16,056 cab sauvignon, somethin'. 910 00:44:16,090 --> 00:44:18,025 It's Trader Joe's house wine. 911 00:44:18,058 --> 00:44:19,693 That's, like, six bucks. 912 00:44:19,727 --> 00:44:21,996 Four. Got it on clearance. 913 00:44:22,029 --> 00:44:23,097 Well, then, I hope it has mold 914 00:44:23,130 --> 00:44:25,399 and you go into anaphylactic shock. 915 00:44:25,432 --> 00:44:28,836 That could very potentially lead to both of our deaths. 916 00:44:28,869 --> 00:44:30,771 I welcome death. 917 00:44:30,804 --> 00:44:33,307 Hm. Cheers. 918 00:44:34,408 --> 00:44:35,309 To our mass suicide. 919 00:44:35,342 --> 00:44:36,911 Okay. 920 00:44:40,515 --> 00:44:42,483 Oh, it's terrible! 921 00:44:42,517 --> 00:44:45,119 I am so sorry. 922 00:44:45,152 --> 00:44:46,253 That's all right. 923 00:44:46,287 --> 00:44:47,755 I don't think so, I think it's the worst thing 924 00:44:47,788 --> 00:44:50,090 that's ever been inside my mouth. 925 00:44:50,124 --> 00:44:52,826 There's been some weird shit in my mouth. 926 00:44:52,860 --> 00:44:54,261 But that is bad. 927 00:44:54,295 --> 00:44:56,797 Uggh! 928 00:44:56,830 --> 00:44:58,399 Okay. 929 00:44:58,432 --> 00:44:59,833 You ready? 930 00:44:59,867 --> 00:45:01,735 For what? 931 00:45:04,972 --> 00:45:05,906 What? 932 00:45:05,940 --> 00:45:06,974 - Talk. - No. 933 00:45:07,007 --> 00:45:08,042 - Yeah. - No, we really don't 934 00:45:08,075 --> 00:45:08,976 have to do this. 935 00:45:09,009 --> 00:45:09,877 Oh, we really do, because if I had lost, 936 00:45:09,910 --> 00:45:11,779 you'da made me paint my fingernails, 937 00:45:11,812 --> 00:45:13,814 so you're... you're gonna talk. 938 00:45:13,847 --> 00:45:14,715 But whatever I'm gonna come up with 939 00:45:14,748 --> 00:45:17,351 is gonna be lame and depressing so, no. 940 00:45:17,384 --> 00:45:18,485 I love lame and depressing, 941 00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:19,954 that's why I asked you out. 942 00:45:19,987 --> 00:45:21,355 Fuck you. 943 00:45:21,388 --> 00:45:23,757 Fine. Okay. 944 00:45:23,791 --> 00:45:28,762 I haven't talked with my parents in 10 years. 945 00:45:31,265 --> 00:45:33,901 - Okay. - That's it. 946 00:45:33,934 --> 00:45:36,337 You have any cheese that can go with this? 947 00:45:36,370 --> 00:45:37,539 You're not gonna get away with that. 948 00:45:37,572 --> 00:45:39,340 If I drink on an empty stomach, 949 00:45:39,373 --> 00:45:41,475 things tend to get a little slutty. 950 00:45:41,509 --> 00:45:42,376 And I like you, 951 00:45:42,409 --> 00:45:46,347 so I wanna just stay a little classy. 952 00:45:48,449 --> 00:45:50,851 You said you like me! 953 00:45:50,884 --> 00:45:52,486 Oh. 954 00:45:54,221 --> 00:45:55,923 - Did you like that? - Don't ever do that ever again. 955 00:45:55,956 --> 00:45:57,391 - No? - Could you maybe, like, 956 00:45:57,424 --> 00:45:58,993 talk a little low, maybe that? 957 00:45:59,026 --> 00:46:01,095 - Like Vin Diesel? - Yes. 958 00:46:01,128 --> 00:46:02,429 Family. 959 00:46:03,464 --> 00:46:06,200 I can't really lower my voice that much, but... 960 00:46:06,233 --> 00:46:08,869 - family. - Oh! 961 00:46:08,902 --> 00:46:10,471 - Fantastic. - Fine! 962 00:46:10,505 --> 00:46:11,905 - What? - If I get you cheese, 963 00:46:11,939 --> 00:46:13,340 will you please finish? 964 00:46:13,374 --> 00:46:15,442 Fuck, fuck, fuck, get the cheese! 965 00:46:15,476 --> 00:46:16,977 Yes! 966 00:46:23,284 --> 00:46:25,853 Uggh! 967 00:46:29,890 --> 00:46:32,059 Okay, okay, okay, okay. 968 00:46:32,092 --> 00:46:35,429 Okay. Cheese, knife, crackers. 969 00:46:35,462 --> 00:46:38,065 - Are you serious? - I'm very serious. 970 00:46:38,098 --> 00:46:39,800 Blue cheese? 971 00:46:41,368 --> 00:46:43,270 What else do you want from me? 972 00:46:43,304 --> 00:46:48,008 Who hurt you as a child that you put out blue cheese? 973 00:46:54,081 --> 00:46:56,584 - I like you. - Aww! 974 00:46:56,618 --> 00:46:57,985 A little bit. 975 00:47:00,655 --> 00:47:02,557 No matter what you tell me, 976 00:47:02,590 --> 00:47:05,359 that's not gonna change. 977 00:47:05,392 --> 00:47:07,194 I promise. 978 00:47:20,140 --> 00:47:21,975 Okay. 979 00:47:25,112 --> 00:47:28,248 Um... 980 00:47:28,282 --> 00:47:30,652 My dad, 981 00:47:30,685 --> 00:47:32,152 he used to drink. 982 00:47:32,186 --> 00:47:33,555 And one night, 983 00:47:33,588 --> 00:47:35,623 we were watching TV in the living room, 984 00:47:35,657 --> 00:47:41,028 my mom had fallen asleep putting my little brother to bed. 985 00:47:41,061 --> 00:47:43,130 My head was in my dad's lap. 986 00:47:43,163 --> 00:47:45,499 He was stroking my hair. 987 00:47:45,533 --> 00:47:50,605 And, um, then I felt this hand go up my shirt. 988 00:47:52,439 --> 00:47:56,243 First, I didn't know what to do, 989 00:47:56,276 --> 00:47:59,012 but eventually, I snapped up, 990 00:47:59,046 --> 00:48:00,682 walked back to my room, 991 00:48:00,715 --> 00:48:06,120 and I slept with the desk chair pushed against the doorknob. 992 00:48:08,222 --> 00:48:09,189 And the next day, 993 00:48:09,223 --> 00:48:13,127 he pretended like nothing had ever happened. 994 00:48:13,160 --> 00:48:15,429 So at first I thought maybe he didn't remember 995 00:48:15,462 --> 00:48:20,702 or maybe I was remembering it wrong, but... 996 00:48:20,735 --> 00:48:24,471 every time we would be alone in a room together, 997 00:48:24,506 --> 00:48:27,374 he would look at me like he remembered. 998 00:48:27,408 --> 00:48:31,111 Sure enough, another night, I woke up, and... 999 00:48:37,652 --> 00:48:40,487 Well, anyways, 1000 00:48:40,522 --> 00:48:44,458 I ended up telling my mom couple months later. 1001 00:48:44,491 --> 00:48:47,428 She freaked out, 1002 00:48:47,461 --> 00:48:48,696 and my dad said that he was hurt 1003 00:48:48,730 --> 00:48:49,930 that I would say something like that, 1004 00:48:49,963 --> 00:48:53,267 that he would never hurt me in a million years, that I... 1005 00:48:53,300 --> 00:48:56,604 that I was his little girl. 1006 00:49:00,107 --> 00:49:03,143 But my mom threw me out of the house, 1007 00:49:03,177 --> 00:49:08,282 and I haven't seen either them or my little brother since. 1008 00:49:14,221 --> 00:49:17,424 I'm so sorry. 1009 00:49:17,458 --> 00:49:20,562 It happens. 1010 00:49:20,595 --> 00:49:24,666 And now, end Chapter One, right? 1011 00:49:24,699 --> 00:49:26,768 I really hope that I didn't make you talk about something 1012 00:49:26,801 --> 00:49:28,736 that you didn't want to talk about, I... 1013 00:49:28,770 --> 00:49:32,172 I kinda feel like a total asshole right now. 1014 00:49:32,206 --> 00:49:34,642 That's because you are an asshole. 1015 00:49:38,145 --> 00:49:42,382 I hope I didn't scare you off too much. 1016 00:49:42,416 --> 00:49:43,618 No, no... 1017 00:49:43,651 --> 00:49:45,118 No, I'm just kidding. 1018 00:49:46,721 --> 00:49:49,423 Not at all. 1019 00:49:52,292 --> 00:49:54,696 What? No. Ugh! 1020 00:49:54,729 --> 00:49:56,363 Okay, fine. 1021 00:50:22,790 --> 00:50:23,858 I can make you something. 1022 00:50:23,892 --> 00:50:25,660 - You want eggs? - No, I don't have time for that, 1023 00:50:25,693 --> 00:50:26,694 I'm already late. 1024 00:50:26,728 --> 00:50:27,629 I can make it real quick! 1025 00:50:27,662 --> 00:50:28,596 No! 1026 00:50:28,630 --> 00:50:30,798 - They're eggs! - No! 1027 00:50:30,832 --> 00:50:32,099 All right, well, just grab something from the kitchen 1028 00:50:32,132 --> 00:50:33,100 before you go. 1029 00:50:33,133 --> 00:50:34,501 - I already did. - Oh! Sneaky little shithead. 1030 00:50:34,536 --> 00:50:36,704 - I know. - Mm. 1031 00:50:38,740 --> 00:50:39,641 Gonna miss you. 1032 00:50:39,674 --> 00:50:41,308 Gonna miss you too. 1033 00:50:41,341 --> 00:50:43,176 - Bye. - Bye. 1034 00:50:43,210 --> 00:50:44,378 Mm, so minty fresh! 1035 00:50:44,411 --> 00:50:46,280 You're minty fresh. 1036 00:50:46,313 --> 00:50:48,148 Where you going? 1037 00:50:48,181 --> 00:50:49,651 Dude. 1038 00:50:49,684 --> 00:50:52,820 Are you even reading or just staring? 1039 00:50:52,854 --> 00:50:55,122 - I'm staring. - I know. 1040 00:50:57,190 --> 00:50:58,292 Did she notice? 1041 00:50:58,325 --> 00:50:59,226 - Yeah. - Yep. 1042 00:50:59,259 --> 00:51:00,528 Shit. 1043 00:51:00,562 --> 00:51:03,430 Okay, um... was she pissed? 1044 00:51:03,463 --> 00:51:04,599 I mean, it's hard to tell. 1045 00:51:04,632 --> 00:51:05,833 She asked where you were. 1046 00:51:05,867 --> 00:51:09,236 Fuck! 1047 00:51:09,269 --> 00:51:10,605 Leeds? 1048 00:51:11,606 --> 00:51:14,274 My office. 1049 00:51:16,744 --> 00:51:18,780 She's... she's in a good mood. 1050 00:51:18,813 --> 00:51:20,648 - Hmph. - No she's not. 1051 00:51:20,682 --> 00:51:22,249 Shut up! 1052 00:51:28,188 --> 00:51:30,592 Do you enjoy working for this company? 1053 00:51:30,625 --> 00:51:32,292 Absolutely, ma'am. 1054 00:51:32,326 --> 00:51:35,462 We want a team of people who take a serious interest 1055 00:51:35,495 --> 00:51:38,566 in building a future at this company. 1056 00:51:38,600 --> 00:51:39,734 Okay. 1057 00:51:39,767 --> 00:51:41,134 We have an opening in Adult Fiction. 1058 00:51:41,168 --> 00:51:42,402 It's not a huge starting salary, 1059 00:51:42,436 --> 00:51:44,539 but a definite pay jump from zero, 1060 00:51:44,572 --> 00:51:48,475 plus benefits and room to advance. 1061 00:51:48,509 --> 00:51:51,713 We can draft up a contract starting Monday. 1062 00:51:53,480 --> 00:51:55,650 I can take that as a yes? 1063 00:51:55,683 --> 00:51:57,484 I'm so proud of you, 1064 00:51:57,518 --> 00:52:00,788 you beautiful, beautiful creature! 1065 00:52:00,822 --> 00:52:02,757 Oh, here we go, okay. 1066 00:52:02,790 --> 00:52:04,157 Hey, you ready, or should I give you a moment? 1067 00:52:04,191 --> 00:52:05,325 Another round of Bellinis, please, 1068 00:52:05,359 --> 00:52:06,828 and make them real strong. 1069 00:52:06,861 --> 00:52:08,495 Or something less embarrassing. 1070 00:52:08,529 --> 00:52:09,530 We're celebrating, 1071 00:52:09,564 --> 00:52:11,331 so we need it to be fancy! 1072 00:52:11,365 --> 00:52:14,636 And add in some mortification to balance out the good news. 1073 00:52:14,669 --> 00:52:16,537 With Bellinis. 1074 00:52:16,571 --> 00:52:19,439 - Apparently. - She just got a promotion. 1075 00:52:19,473 --> 00:52:22,442 - Congratulations! - Thank you... 1076 00:52:22,476 --> 00:52:23,678 Adrian. 1077 00:52:23,711 --> 00:52:24,712 ...Adrian. 1078 00:52:24,746 --> 00:52:26,346 Can I also get a shot of tequila, 1079 00:52:26,380 --> 00:52:27,414 something redemptive? 1080 00:52:27,447 --> 00:52:29,717 Can you make that two shots of tequila, please? 1081 00:52:29,751 --> 00:52:30,885 Sure. 1082 00:52:32,285 --> 00:52:33,253 Really? 1083 00:52:33,286 --> 00:52:34,689 I'm out just having fun. 1084 00:52:34,722 --> 00:52:35,823 Really? 1085 00:52:35,857 --> 00:52:38,225 You know what, I'll get in on that shot, please. 1086 00:52:38,258 --> 00:52:39,661 Yes! 1087 00:52:39,694 --> 00:52:42,496 I'm warding off depression, it's a serious thing. 1088 00:52:42,530 --> 00:52:44,766 All right, tequila preference? 1089 00:52:44,799 --> 00:52:45,700 Well. 1090 00:52:45,733 --> 00:52:48,703 Wow, must've been some kind of promotion. 1091 00:52:48,736 --> 00:52:52,239 Unpaid to paid, so in some respects, yes. 1092 00:52:52,272 --> 00:52:56,944 I haven't quite made the jump from well brand. 1093 00:52:56,978 --> 00:53:00,748 Casamigos, on me. 1094 00:53:00,782 --> 00:53:01,749 Thank you. 1095 00:53:03,918 --> 00:53:06,688 - Casamigos is the best. - Yes. 1096 00:53:06,721 --> 00:53:07,922 Enjoy. 1097 00:53:09,791 --> 00:53:10,925 Oh, very nice. 1098 00:53:10,958 --> 00:53:12,860 Is your vagina always this magnetic? 1099 00:53:12,894 --> 00:53:16,229 Dude, he is really hot, just saying. 1100 00:53:22,603 --> 00:53:26,507 Oh, God, I admire someone who can chug a Bellini. 1101 00:53:26,541 --> 00:53:27,775 Seriously, I'm just having... 1102 00:53:27,809 --> 00:53:28,910 Having fun, we heard. 1103 00:53:28,943 --> 00:53:31,012 I personally am a fan of drunk Casey. 1104 00:53:31,045 --> 00:53:32,013 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 1105 00:53:32,046 --> 00:53:34,414 Oh, good, then you can be the one she gropes 1106 00:53:34,448 --> 00:53:35,516 when she passes her limit. 1107 00:53:35,550 --> 00:53:37,719 Okay, that was one time. 1108 00:53:37,752 --> 00:53:40,855 - It was more than once. - It was more than once. 1109 00:53:40,888 --> 00:53:43,024 I'm just having fun tonight. 1110 00:53:43,057 --> 00:53:45,560 Oh, you said that. 1111 00:53:45,593 --> 00:53:47,829 Let's go have some fun! 1112 00:53:54,367 --> 00:53:55,737 Hyperbole. 1113 00:53:59,640 --> 00:54:01,408 Why is that so funny? 1114 00:54:01,441 --> 00:54:02,744 I have no idea. 1115 00:54:02,777 --> 00:54:04,277 I'm getting dropped off. 1116 00:54:04,311 --> 00:54:05,479 No! 1117 00:54:05,513 --> 00:54:07,782 No, you cannot leave. 1118 00:54:07,815 --> 00:54:08,850 We are a tribe. 1119 00:54:08,883 --> 00:54:10,450 Yeah, Sage, we're a tribe. 1120 00:54:10,484 --> 00:54:12,419 Uh-huh, lesbian tribe. 1121 00:54:12,452 --> 00:54:13,320 Okay. 1122 00:54:13,353 --> 00:54:16,389 You can't leave, that is child abuse. 1123 00:54:16,423 --> 00:54:20,528 Sir, tell her she cannot leave because that is child abuse. 1124 00:54:24,431 --> 00:54:27,034 Okay, I think only dolphins could hear that. 1125 00:54:29,871 --> 00:54:31,639 Look at these breasts! 1126 00:54:31,672 --> 00:54:35,375 They're so perfect and shiny 1127 00:54:35,408 --> 00:54:38,045 and soft. 1128 00:54:38,079 --> 00:54:40,548 You could have one to two nipples in your mouth 1129 00:54:40,581 --> 00:54:44,351 at any given moment, and, oh, it would just be... 1130 00:54:44,384 --> 00:54:45,653 heaven, wouldn't it? 1131 00:54:45,686 --> 00:54:47,522 Okay, you don't need to answer that. 1132 00:54:47,555 --> 00:54:48,956 - Thank you. - He's gonna answer. 1133 00:54:48,990 --> 00:54:50,057 Let the man be heard. 1134 00:54:50,091 --> 00:54:52,026 Would it be heaven or would... 1135 00:54:52,059 --> 00:54:54,562 Sir, I have a question for you. 1136 00:54:54,595 --> 00:54:57,098 Yeah? 1137 00:54:57,131 --> 00:55:00,001 What kind of jizz do you have? Does it taste like rubber? 1138 00:55:00,034 --> 00:55:02,069 - Okay! - What? 1139 00:55:02,103 --> 00:55:05,540 It's human nature. Stop being embarrassing. 1140 00:55:05,573 --> 00:55:06,406 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 1141 00:55:06,439 --> 00:55:08,609 You know what else is natural? Yeah? 1142 00:55:08,643 --> 00:55:11,112 Melatonin and hot tea, okay? 1143 00:55:11,145 --> 00:55:13,047 Let's get you some of that. 1144 00:55:13,080 --> 00:55:14,949 - Yeah? - I think I'm gonna puke. 1145 00:55:14,982 --> 00:55:17,852 No, no, there's no puking in the car, okay? 1146 00:55:17,885 --> 00:55:19,086 Can you hear that, Casey? 1147 00:55:19,120 --> 00:55:22,123 If you puke, you have to swallow it. 1148 00:55:22,156 --> 00:55:23,791 You gotta swallow it, okay? 1149 00:55:23,825 --> 00:55:26,828 - Okay. - It's okay, baby, it's okay. 1150 00:55:26,861 --> 00:55:28,663 We'll get you home. 1151 00:55:28,696 --> 00:55:30,463 We'll catch it right in here. 1152 00:55:31,833 --> 00:55:33,000 Let's go somewhere else. 1153 00:55:33,034 --> 00:55:34,635 No, go back to sleep. 1154 00:55:34,669 --> 00:55:36,137 Go back to sleep, please. 1155 00:55:36,170 --> 00:55:38,105 Please put her back to sleep. 1156 00:55:38,139 --> 00:55:41,108 My nipple 'bout to pop out. 1157 00:55:58,860 --> 00:56:01,128 Hello? 1158 00:56:01,162 --> 00:56:02,930 What are you wearing? 1159 00:56:02,964 --> 00:56:04,397 You just get home? 1160 00:56:04,431 --> 00:56:05,733 Mm-hmm. 1161 00:56:05,766 --> 00:56:07,500 - You have fun? - Mm-hmm. 1162 00:56:07,535 --> 00:56:08,603 Did you have fun? 1163 00:56:08,636 --> 00:56:12,106 Mmm, went to bed at 10 p.m., so, yeah, had a blast. 1164 00:56:12,139 --> 00:56:13,774 Well, you should come over to my bed 1165 00:56:13,808 --> 00:56:16,010 and blast something in my face. 1166 00:56:16,043 --> 00:56:17,745 Look, as much fun as that sounds, 1167 00:56:17,778 --> 00:56:18,913 I can't tonight. 1168 00:56:18,946 --> 00:56:20,615 What, why? 1169 00:56:20,648 --> 00:56:21,849 Because it's 3 a.m. 1170 00:56:23,150 --> 00:56:24,652 So? 1171 00:56:24,685 --> 00:56:27,420 So, I have to wake up early. 1172 00:56:28,656 --> 00:56:30,057 Please? 1173 00:56:30,091 --> 00:56:32,994 I really can't. 1174 00:56:33,027 --> 00:56:35,428 I'll swallow! 1175 00:56:35,462 --> 00:56:37,497 Call you tomorrow, okay? 1176 00:57:25,680 --> 00:57:28,015 It's just a mock-up, it's not the final thing. 1177 00:57:28,049 --> 00:57:31,018 Oh, okay, cool. 1178 00:57:31,052 --> 00:57:32,753 Yeah, I was looking for a nice way 1179 00:57:32,787 --> 00:57:35,856 to tell you how shitty it is. 1180 00:57:35,890 --> 00:57:37,858 I'm kidding! 1181 00:57:37,892 --> 00:57:40,027 Okay, well, what do you think? 1182 00:57:40,061 --> 00:57:42,897 I think I should've trademarked that. 1183 00:57:42,930 --> 00:57:45,566 Does this mean that I actually inspired you? 1184 00:57:45,599 --> 00:57:46,667 Don't get cocky. 1185 00:57:46,701 --> 00:57:48,669 Ooh, don't say "cock" around me, that turns me on. 1186 00:57:48,703 --> 00:57:50,271 Okay, bye-bye, you're done. 1187 00:57:50,304 --> 00:57:52,540 - That was a compliment. - Don't touch that. 1188 00:57:52,573 --> 00:57:54,608 Okay, I won't. 1189 00:58:03,217 --> 00:58:04,819 Whoa. 1190 00:58:04,852 --> 00:58:06,620 I'm not asking you if it's boring. 1191 00:58:06,654 --> 00:58:08,923 I'm telling you that you said that looked fair, 1192 00:58:08,956 --> 00:58:10,157 but it was very foul. 1193 00:58:10,191 --> 00:58:12,760 Oh my God, you are so creepy! 1194 00:58:12,793 --> 00:58:13,894 - Hi. - Hi. 1195 00:58:13,928 --> 00:58:16,731 Um, Skylar, this is Morgan; Morgan, this is Skylar. 1196 00:58:16,764 --> 00:58:18,566 - Oh my God, Morgan. - Hi. 1197 00:58:18,599 --> 00:58:20,534 - Stoked to finally meet you! - Really? 1198 00:58:20,568 --> 00:58:22,069 Oh my gosh! Yes! 1199 00:58:22,103 --> 00:58:24,305 Oh, uh, I'm gonna get a drink. 1200 00:58:24,338 --> 00:58:25,806 Okay. You can stay. 1201 00:58:25,840 --> 00:58:27,274 I'm just gonna get a drink, like real... 1202 00:58:27,308 --> 00:58:29,210 - You can go get a drink. - I'm gonna be like right back. 1203 00:58:29,243 --> 00:58:30,311 - You can stay. - I promise. 1204 00:58:30,344 --> 00:58:32,580 - You can get a drink. - It's so good to meet you. 1205 00:58:35,716 --> 00:58:37,985 Are you fucking kidding me? 1206 00:58:38,019 --> 00:58:38,986 I hate... 1207 00:58:40,955 --> 00:58:42,757 - Don't flick me. - Don't flick me! 1208 00:58:42,790 --> 00:58:44,859 Hey, be nice, be nice, or no more fries! 1209 00:58:44,892 --> 00:58:46,560 I'll be nice. 1210 00:58:46,594 --> 00:58:48,162 - Okay. - Yeah. 1211 00:58:48,195 --> 00:58:49,430 - Have some more fries. - Thank you. 1212 00:58:49,463 --> 00:58:52,133 We'll head out of here as soon as this inning's over. 1213 00:58:52,166 --> 00:58:54,835 Oh, I love it when you talk frat to me. 1214 00:58:54,869 --> 00:58:57,071 Come here, come here. 1215 00:58:57,938 --> 00:59:00,074 By God, you're still minty fresh! 1216 00:59:00,107 --> 00:59:02,076 My gum's still minty fresh! 1217 00:59:02,109 --> 00:59:04,145 You have a little Buffalo sauce on your face. 1218 00:59:04,178 --> 00:59:06,313 - I was saving it for you. - Yeah? 1219 00:59:06,347 --> 00:59:07,782 You're the sweetest. 1220 00:59:07,815 --> 00:59:09,283 - You have no idea. - No? 1221 00:59:09,316 --> 00:59:11,886 Reach into my pocket. 1222 00:59:11,919 --> 00:59:13,220 Okay. 1223 00:59:13,254 --> 00:59:14,355 - There you go. - Yeah? 1224 00:59:14,388 --> 00:59:15,623 - Lower. - Okay. 1225 00:59:15,656 --> 00:59:16,924 - Grab it. - Okay. 1226 00:59:16,957 --> 00:59:17,992 Get it! 1227 00:59:18,025 --> 00:59:19,293 That's it! 1228 00:59:19,326 --> 00:59:20,728 - You didn't. - I did. 1229 00:59:20,761 --> 00:59:22,596 No! 1230 00:59:22,630 --> 00:59:23,864 Tums! 1231 00:59:23,898 --> 00:59:26,700 For later, 'cause you burp so much. 1232 00:59:26,734 --> 00:59:28,369 Fuck you, but thank you! 1233 00:59:28,402 --> 00:59:31,639 Hey, Jared, Morgan; Morgan, Jared. 1234 00:59:32,840 --> 00:59:36,010 Hi... Morgan. 1235 00:59:36,043 --> 00:59:37,611 Good to finally meet you. 1236 00:59:37,645 --> 00:59:38,712 Same. 1237 00:59:43,651 --> 00:59:47,922 So, remind me, how long have you two been together? 1238 00:59:49,023 --> 00:59:51,258 Since February. 1239 00:59:51,292 --> 00:59:53,260 Wow, that... 1240 00:59:53,294 --> 00:59:55,663 that's a long time. 1241 00:59:55,696 --> 00:59:58,199 Jared and I go way back. 1242 00:59:58,232 --> 01:00:00,267 All the way to middle school. 1243 01:00:00,301 --> 01:00:02,036 - No way. - Way. 1244 01:00:02,069 --> 01:00:03,904 Yeah, surprising we still talk, actually, 1245 01:00:03,938 --> 01:00:05,773 considering how much we hated each other. 1246 01:00:07,074 --> 01:00:08,876 That's very funny. 1247 01:00:08,909 --> 01:00:11,812 - Hilarious. - Yeah, he, uh... 1248 01:00:11,846 --> 01:00:13,214 Well, I'll say this to your face 1249 01:00:13,247 --> 01:00:14,849 'cause you're sitting right in front of me. 1250 01:00:14,882 --> 01:00:16,317 You were a total dickhole. 1251 01:00:16,350 --> 01:00:17,618 Oh, not in front of the lady. 1252 01:00:17,651 --> 01:00:20,221 He was, he knows that though, I've told him a million times. 1253 01:00:20,254 --> 01:00:22,690 - Different now. - He's a changed man. 1254 01:00:23,757 --> 01:00:25,926 Just depends on the day. 1255 01:00:25,960 --> 01:00:28,729 And yet, here we are, 1256 01:00:28,762 --> 01:00:30,998 all these years later. 1257 01:00:31,031 --> 01:00:31,866 Go! 1258 01:00:31,899 --> 01:00:33,300 - Oh! - Jesus. 1259 01:00:33,334 --> 01:00:36,003 It's out! It's out! 1260 01:00:36,036 --> 01:00:37,104 This is fun. 1261 01:00:42,343 --> 01:00:43,310 What? 1262 01:00:43,344 --> 01:00:46,080 Are you mad at me? 1263 01:00:46,113 --> 01:00:48,382 Look, I'm sorry I didn't come over, okay? 1264 01:00:48,415 --> 01:00:50,417 I was half asleep when you called. 1265 01:00:50,451 --> 01:00:52,186 Okay. 1266 01:00:52,219 --> 01:00:54,054 Let me take you out to dinner tonight. 1267 01:00:54,088 --> 01:00:56,457 Stop bribing me with food. 1268 01:00:56,490 --> 01:00:58,058 Please. 1269 01:00:58,092 --> 01:00:59,260 Even if I wanted to, 1270 01:00:59,293 --> 01:01:01,762 my head feels like it's peeling in half. 1271 01:01:01,795 --> 01:01:04,999 So, there's not much movement going on right now. 1272 01:01:05,032 --> 01:01:07,801 I'll take it. I'll call you around 6. 1273 01:01:07,835 --> 01:01:11,805 I'll bring you whatever you want, just text me. 1274 01:01:11,839 --> 01:01:13,774 I love you. 1275 01:01:16,277 --> 01:01:17,478 Shit. 1276 01:01:55,950 --> 01:01:57,017 Hello? 1277 01:01:57,051 --> 01:01:59,253 Sage, hey, it's Aubrey! 1278 01:01:59,286 --> 01:02:01,755 Um, can you work tonight? 1279 01:02:01,789 --> 01:02:02,856 Uh... 1280 01:02:02,890 --> 01:02:04,358 I can't tonight. 1281 01:02:04,391 --> 01:02:05,527 Please, Sage. 1282 01:02:05,560 --> 01:02:08,429 If I get one more write-up, Laurel is gonna fire me, 1283 01:02:08,462 --> 01:02:09,997 and I can't lose this job. 1284 01:02:10,030 --> 01:02:11,899 I just enrolled in acting class, 1285 01:02:11,932 --> 01:02:13,834 and my agent says I need to do a self-tape, 1286 01:02:13,867 --> 01:02:14,835 and then my acting teacher's like, 1287 01:02:14,868 --> 01:02:16,437 "Hey, you should probably take a yoga class," 1288 01:02:16,470 --> 01:02:18,239 you know, just like, to loosen up and stuff 1289 01:02:18,272 --> 01:02:20,441 because I'm just really tense all the fucking time. 1290 01:02:20,474 --> 01:02:21,942 So, how am I gonna afford a yoga class... 1291 01:02:21,976 --> 01:02:23,244 Did you ask Grace Kim already? 1292 01:02:23,277 --> 01:02:25,012 She quit. 1293 01:02:25,045 --> 01:02:26,046 What, when? 1294 01:02:26,080 --> 01:02:26,880 Like a month ago. 1295 01:02:26,914 --> 01:02:28,816 She got into med school or something, 1296 01:02:28,849 --> 01:02:30,918 which is great, you know, whatever, 1297 01:02:30,951 --> 01:02:33,087 but I have this huge audition, 1298 01:02:33,120 --> 01:02:35,289 and now I'm totally fucked. 1299 01:02:35,322 --> 01:02:37,391 I'm supposed to be playing this meth addict 1300 01:02:37,424 --> 01:02:39,561 who finds herself through violin. 1301 01:02:39,594 --> 01:02:42,363 It's really hard to explain, but it's a comedy pilot, 1302 01:02:42,396 --> 01:02:44,566 and I just, like, really need time 1303 01:02:44,599 --> 01:02:50,037 to, like, focus on my craft, you know? 1304 01:02:50,070 --> 01:02:51,506 Please, Sage. 1305 01:02:51,539 --> 01:02:53,140 Please, please, please, please, please, please. 1306 01:02:53,173 --> 01:02:55,843 Yeah, okay, all right, fine, yes, I will do it. 1307 01:02:55,876 --> 01:02:58,112 Oh my God, thank you so much! 1308 01:02:58,145 --> 01:02:59,813 You're the fucking best, I owe you. 1309 01:02:59,847 --> 01:03:01,882 Okay, gotta go, bye. 1310 01:03:01,915 --> 01:03:03,017 We're good, let's do it. 1311 01:03:04,619 --> 01:03:07,154 I done had a long-ass morning. 1312 01:03:07,187 --> 01:03:09,990 The fuck you mean you can't take my coupon? 1313 01:03:10,024 --> 01:03:12,960 - It's expired. - By one day. 1314 01:03:12,993 --> 01:03:15,162 Yeah, which makes it expired. 1315 01:03:15,195 --> 01:03:16,997 See, this is some bullshit. 1316 01:03:17,031 --> 01:03:19,366 Okay, I physically can't take your coupon 1317 01:03:19,400 --> 01:03:22,102 because the button for it doesn't exist anymore. 1318 01:03:27,041 --> 01:03:29,143 It's 'cause I'm Black, ain't it? 1319 01:03:30,645 --> 01:03:32,479 Man, fuck this whole racist-ass shit, 1320 01:03:32,514 --> 01:03:34,381 that little fake-ass smile you do. 1321 01:03:36,984 --> 01:03:39,253 Fucking white mints. Fuck your white mints. 1322 01:03:39,286 --> 01:03:41,288 What the hell you lookin' at? What you holdin'? 1323 01:03:41,322 --> 01:03:42,624 Man, you got shit in your hand. 1324 01:03:42,657 --> 01:03:44,158 Turn around, motherfucker! 1325 01:03:44,191 --> 01:03:45,560 Go back there and make some coffee. 1326 01:03:45,593 --> 01:03:48,128 Look at me! Now go make some fucking coffee! 1327 01:03:48,162 --> 01:03:51,065 Y'all motherfuckers just lost yourselves a valuable customer. 1328 01:03:54,168 --> 01:03:55,369 Great, thanks! 1329 01:03:55,402 --> 01:03:57,371 Thank you so much! 1330 01:04:01,909 --> 01:04:03,377 Sage. 1331 01:04:08,650 --> 01:04:10,050 Now. 1332 01:04:11,285 --> 01:04:13,454 I have my phone and my wallet, 1333 01:04:13,487 --> 01:04:16,990 but I cannot find my jacket. 1334 01:04:17,024 --> 01:04:19,627 I don't know, I don't know where your jacket is. 1335 01:04:25,099 --> 01:04:26,300 Duty calls. 1336 01:04:26,333 --> 01:04:28,168 Come here. 1337 01:04:32,172 --> 01:04:33,907 Thank you. 1338 01:04:33,941 --> 01:04:35,409 For what? 1339 01:04:35,442 --> 01:04:37,111 For everything. 1340 01:04:37,144 --> 01:04:41,583 For making me feel wanted and important. 1341 01:04:41,616 --> 01:04:43,083 Just being nice. 1342 01:04:43,117 --> 01:04:44,485 What's going on? 1343 01:04:44,519 --> 01:04:46,019 Okay. 1344 01:04:46,053 --> 01:04:47,254 I'm just... 1345 01:04:47,287 --> 01:04:51,659 very much in like with you. 1346 01:04:51,693 --> 01:04:53,327 Like love. 1347 01:04:53,360 --> 01:04:57,197 I'm in like-love with you. 1348 01:04:57,231 --> 01:05:00,267 I've never told anyone that before, 1349 01:05:00,300 --> 01:05:03,103 and I just thought you should know that. 1350 01:05:09,443 --> 01:05:12,279 I really like-love you too. 1351 01:05:12,312 --> 01:05:14,481 You don't have to say that. 1352 01:05:14,516 --> 01:05:16,150 I don't care if you do or don't. 1353 01:05:16,183 --> 01:05:18,452 Yet despite your indifference to my feelings, 1354 01:05:18,485 --> 01:05:20,622 um, I really do. 1355 01:05:22,122 --> 01:05:25,159 Even if you are a ginormous nerd. 1356 01:05:26,193 --> 01:05:27,394 How dare you? 1357 01:05:27,428 --> 01:05:28,663 You know that I don't just, like, watch 1358 01:05:28,696 --> 01:05:30,397 that much Harry Potter for anyone, right? 1359 01:05:30,431 --> 01:05:31,599 You like those movies. 1360 01:05:31,633 --> 01:05:35,002 No, I like those movies because I have to like those movies. 1361 01:05:35,035 --> 01:05:38,172 Whatever, I watched The Bachelor for you. 1362 01:05:38,205 --> 01:05:40,742 You promise me that is not something we will speak of. 1363 01:05:42,342 --> 01:05:44,679 - Promise. - You won't tell. 1364 01:05:44,712 --> 01:05:46,548 All right, bye. 1365 01:05:46,581 --> 01:05:48,048 Bye. 1366 01:06:10,270 --> 01:06:11,773 Okay, bye for real. 1367 01:06:31,593 --> 01:06:33,728 Hey, um, 1368 01:06:33,761 --> 01:06:36,497 it's almost 9 p.m. 1369 01:06:36,531 --> 01:06:39,734 I'm guessing you're not coming over with dinner anymore. 1370 01:06:42,102 --> 01:06:44,639 Look, I'm not even mad, I just want to make sure you're okay, 1371 01:06:44,672 --> 01:06:47,140 so... call me back. 1372 01:06:49,544 --> 01:06:51,044 Bye. 1373 01:07:06,360 --> 01:07:08,362 Hey, congratulations on your first write-up. 1374 01:07:08,395 --> 01:07:10,632 - It's my second. - Oh. 1375 01:07:10,665 --> 01:07:12,466 Well, if you want to vent about it, there's... 1376 01:07:12,499 --> 01:07:15,302 Why, why do you ask when you know the answer already? 1377 01:07:15,335 --> 01:07:17,304 I thought maybe I caught you on an off day. 1378 01:07:17,337 --> 01:07:18,673 Nope. 1379 01:07:18,706 --> 01:07:20,040 My bad. 1380 01:07:22,544 --> 01:07:25,680 Shit, there's another homeless guy. 1381 01:07:27,682 --> 01:07:28,683 Shit. 1382 01:07:30,484 --> 01:07:31,786 Am I overreacting? 1383 01:07:31,819 --> 01:07:34,522 Not at all. He could've texted or called. 1384 01:07:34,556 --> 01:07:38,258 It's not even that he treats me bad, per se, it's just like, 1385 01:07:38,292 --> 01:07:41,261 it feels... I don't know, 1386 01:07:41,295 --> 01:07:43,598 like he doesn't even care if I'm there or if I'm not. 1387 01:07:43,631 --> 01:07:45,600 It's just convenient. I'm a human Fleshlight. 1388 01:07:45,633 --> 01:07:47,467 He cares about you, obviously, I mean, 1389 01:07:47,501 --> 01:07:50,470 you guys have been together since you were, what, 14? 1390 01:07:50,505 --> 01:07:52,439 Sixteen. 1391 01:07:52,472 --> 01:07:54,642 - On and off. - My point is, 1392 01:07:54,676 --> 01:07:56,644 you cannot take someone like that seriously. 1393 01:07:56,678 --> 01:07:59,179 It's like... it's like he's a carnival ride. 1394 01:07:59,212 --> 01:08:00,882 Fun but totally unreliable. 1395 01:08:00,915 --> 01:08:02,149 Great analogy. 1396 01:08:02,182 --> 01:08:03,585 I got stuck on Zipper once. 1397 01:08:03,618 --> 01:08:06,320 It was incredibly traumatic. 1398 01:08:07,589 --> 01:08:08,823 I'm sorry. 1399 01:08:08,856 --> 01:08:11,526 I hate being that person that's always... 1400 01:08:11,559 --> 01:08:13,528 crying about a boyfriend, it's embarrassing. 1401 01:08:13,561 --> 01:08:14,762 If it makes you feel any better, 1402 01:08:14,796 --> 01:08:16,864 you're definitely the best customer we've had all day. 1403 01:08:16,898 --> 01:08:20,400 It's true, yeah. 1404 01:08:20,434 --> 01:08:22,402 Casey, I know you don't want to hear this, 1405 01:08:22,436 --> 01:08:24,772 but the dude is a self-indulgent twig 1406 01:08:24,806 --> 01:08:25,907 with a faux hawk. 1407 01:08:25,940 --> 01:08:27,842 - Oh... - I don't know the guy, 1408 01:08:27,875 --> 01:08:29,744 but that sends a lot of red flags. 1409 01:08:29,777 --> 01:08:31,278 Kyle! 1410 01:08:31,311 --> 01:08:33,447 I was talking to myself. 1411 01:08:33,480 --> 01:08:36,283 Okay, the faux hawk was a phase. 1412 01:08:36,316 --> 01:08:38,485 I can't believe we're having this conversation. 1413 01:08:38,519 --> 01:08:41,421 Well, maybe this is the push you need to move on. 1414 01:08:41,455 --> 01:08:43,490 Stop prolonging your own suffering. 1415 01:08:45,827 --> 01:08:47,194 You want some more tea? 1416 01:08:47,227 --> 01:08:48,863 Oh, I have a whiskey flask in the back. 1417 01:08:48,896 --> 01:08:50,765 I can make you a hot toddy or something. 1418 01:08:50,798 --> 01:08:51,833 Absolutely. 1419 01:08:51,866 --> 01:08:54,201 Are you sure you want to be drinking right now? 1420 01:08:54,234 --> 01:08:56,571 Please let me mourn without judgment. 1421 01:08:56,604 --> 01:08:59,473 You know, the best way to get over someone 1422 01:08:59,507 --> 01:09:01,441 is to get under someone. 1423 01:09:01,475 --> 01:09:03,845 Consider this: 1424 01:09:03,878 --> 01:09:04,812 orgy. 1425 01:09:04,846 --> 01:09:06,614 Okay, do you want to go drink at my house? 1426 01:09:06,648 --> 01:09:07,615 - Yes! - Okay. 1427 01:09:07,649 --> 01:09:08,883 - We're leaving. - Can I come? 1428 01:09:08,916 --> 01:09:09,851 Nope. 1429 01:09:09,884 --> 01:09:10,785 - Why not? - Not invited. 1430 01:09:10,818 --> 01:09:12,520 Because you have to stay here and clean. 1431 01:09:12,553 --> 01:09:14,522 - Okay. - Later days. 1432 01:09:14,555 --> 01:09:16,858 - I love you. - Bye. 1433 01:09:19,627 --> 01:09:21,328 Fuck. 1434 01:09:32,006 --> 01:09:33,608 Hello? 1435 01:09:38,579 --> 01:09:41,348 Thank you for letting me eat Lowick's pizza. 1436 01:09:41,381 --> 01:09:42,550 And his wine. 1437 01:09:42,583 --> 01:09:45,920 It was a surprise anyway, so he won't know the difference. 1438 01:09:45,953 --> 01:09:47,689 You know, you can put the shoe down. 1439 01:09:47,722 --> 01:09:49,824 It's not gonna make the glue dry any faster. 1440 01:09:49,857 --> 01:09:52,292 - It's my favorite pair. - Dude, you're fine. 1441 01:09:52,325 --> 01:09:55,395 That stuff can glue a baby to the back of a bus. 1442 01:09:57,330 --> 01:09:59,600 Okay, that would never happen, never. 1443 01:09:59,634 --> 01:10:01,669 Yeah, 'cause the Lifetime Movie Network 1444 01:10:01,703 --> 01:10:03,470 is known for its realism. 1445 01:10:03,503 --> 01:10:05,707 Suspension of disbelief. 1446 01:10:05,740 --> 01:10:07,508 Dude, now I'm in on a Friday night. 1447 01:10:07,542 --> 01:10:08,810 Just when I was starting to feel 1448 01:10:08,843 --> 01:10:10,343 a little bit better about myself. 1449 01:10:10,377 --> 01:10:11,813 Hey, you're not watching alone. 1450 01:10:11,846 --> 01:10:13,581 That's true, feel you. 1451 01:10:13,614 --> 01:10:15,550 You know what? 1452 01:10:15,583 --> 01:10:19,453 So what we're not getting shit-faced on a Friday night. 1453 01:10:19,486 --> 01:10:21,321 We're bonding! 1454 01:10:21,354 --> 01:10:23,323 Big deal! 1455 01:10:23,356 --> 01:10:26,627 I mean, there is nothing to be ashamed of. 1456 01:10:26,661 --> 01:10:31,498 Whatever happened to real, intellectual conversation? 1457 01:10:33,534 --> 01:10:35,302 We are watching a TV movie 1458 01:10:35,335 --> 01:10:37,404 about a teenager trying to steal a fetus. 1459 01:10:37,437 --> 01:10:41,274 I don't think that qualifies as intellectual conversation. 1460 01:10:41,308 --> 01:10:43,578 So then... let's talk. 1461 01:10:43,611 --> 01:10:45,747 - About what? - Anything. 1462 01:10:45,780 --> 01:10:48,983 - Except boys. - Or work. 1463 01:10:51,652 --> 01:10:52,887 Thanks. 1464 01:10:55,089 --> 01:10:57,390 - I have a question. - Splash zone. 1465 01:10:59,392 --> 01:11:01,495 What, what's your question? 1466 01:11:01,529 --> 01:11:03,564 Are you guys' vaginas symmetrical? 1467 01:11:03,598 --> 01:11:06,333 Morgan! 1468 01:11:06,366 --> 01:11:08,035 Elaborate. 1469 01:11:08,069 --> 01:11:10,571 I just feel like the right side of mine 1470 01:11:10,605 --> 01:11:12,039 is just a little bit longer. 1471 01:11:12,073 --> 01:11:13,908 - The inside or the outside? - Inside. 1472 01:11:13,941 --> 01:11:16,577 It's not hugely noticeable, it's just... 1473 01:11:16,611 --> 01:11:19,046 It just feels like it's just a little bit longer. 1474 01:11:19,080 --> 01:11:20,581 Mine is like that on the left. 1475 01:11:20,615 --> 01:11:23,718 - Like you have to tuck it in? - Ew, you guys! 1476 01:11:24,819 --> 01:11:25,853 Well, thank you. 1477 01:11:25,887 --> 01:11:27,588 That's all I needed to hear. 1478 01:11:27,622 --> 01:11:28,923 Oh my God. 1479 01:11:31,025 --> 01:11:32,960 - What? - It's Nathan, what do I do? 1480 01:11:32,994 --> 01:11:34,796 - You ignore it. - Mm-hmm. 1481 01:11:34,829 --> 01:11:35,863 That's what you do. 1482 01:11:35,897 --> 01:11:37,632 No, but I just want to know what his excuse is. 1483 01:11:37,665 --> 01:11:39,366 - No, no! - Who cares? 1484 01:11:39,399 --> 01:11:40,234 I do! 1485 01:11:40,268 --> 01:11:42,603 Casey, don't answer that, come on. 1486 01:11:42,637 --> 01:11:44,071 Just, okay, just talk really loud 1487 01:11:44,105 --> 01:11:45,907 like we're out and we're having a really fun time 1488 01:11:45,940 --> 01:11:46,874 and we're at a party or something. 1489 01:11:46,908 --> 01:11:51,478 - Just do it! - Um, I am having so much fun! 1490 01:11:53,446 --> 01:11:56,717 Oh my God, you guys, stop, you're hilarious! 1491 01:11:56,751 --> 01:11:57,718 Hello? 1492 01:11:57,752 --> 01:12:00,021 Hey, babe, it's me... shut up. 1493 01:12:00,054 --> 01:12:01,823 Who? 1494 01:12:01,856 --> 01:12:02,890 Nathan. 1495 01:12:02,924 --> 01:12:04,091 Oh, hey, what's up? 1496 01:12:04,125 --> 01:12:07,762 Sorry, it's just so loud at this party that I'm at. 1497 01:12:07,795 --> 01:12:09,964 Is... is that Morgan? 1498 01:12:09,997 --> 01:12:11,732 Uh, yeah, it is. 1499 01:12:11,766 --> 01:12:12,867 She's... she's with me. 1500 01:12:12,900 --> 01:12:14,602 You know what, one second. 1501 01:12:16,003 --> 01:12:17,505 I'm in the bathroom now. 1502 01:12:17,538 --> 01:12:18,840 Sorry, crazy in there. 1503 01:12:18,873 --> 01:12:21,474 But enough about my night. Where are you? 1504 01:12:21,509 --> 01:12:22,810 I thought we had plans. 1505 01:12:22,844 --> 01:12:24,712 Yeah, I know, look, I'm sorry, 1506 01:12:24,745 --> 01:12:27,782 but Max had tickets to go see Chance the Rapper last minute, 1507 01:12:27,815 --> 01:12:31,484 and then my phone died, so, um... 1508 01:12:31,519 --> 01:12:33,554 Anyway, we're at this after-party now, 1509 01:12:33,588 --> 01:12:36,891 and I finally found a charger so I can call you. 1510 01:12:36,924 --> 01:12:38,960 You're at... you're at an after-party right now? 1511 01:12:39,994 --> 01:12:41,394 Yeah, yeah. 1512 01:12:41,428 --> 01:12:43,564 Look, I... I owe you 1513 01:12:43,598 --> 01:12:46,433 and I will make this up to you, I promise. 1514 01:12:46,466 --> 01:12:50,470 But it sounds like you're having a really good time anyway. 1515 01:12:50,503 --> 01:12:51,672 Yeah, I am. 1516 01:12:51,706 --> 01:12:55,910 You know, I am at an after-party too, actually. 1517 01:12:55,943 --> 01:12:57,511 For Ludacris. 1518 01:12:57,545 --> 01:12:59,180 Wait, what, you're at an... 1519 01:12:59,213 --> 01:13:01,182 you're at an after-party for Ludacris? 1520 01:13:01,215 --> 01:13:04,652 We are having a banging time, and I mean that literally. 1521 01:13:04,685 --> 01:13:07,521 I let him and his rapper friends gang-bang me 1522 01:13:07,555 --> 01:13:09,924 with their big, huge cocks! 1523 01:13:09,957 --> 01:13:12,093 Oh, oh, oh, here they come. 1524 01:13:12,126 --> 01:13:14,829 - Okay. - Banging on the bathroom door. 1525 01:13:14,862 --> 01:13:15,730 Ooh! 1526 01:13:15,763 --> 01:13:19,634 Uh... this bathroom, it's so shiny. 1527 01:13:19,667 --> 01:13:21,168 - So nice! - I'm sorry, 1528 01:13:21,202 --> 01:13:22,870 what were you saying? 1529 01:13:22,904 --> 01:13:24,205 Casey, look, I'm sorry. 1530 01:13:24,238 --> 01:13:26,107 I guess I messed up, didn't I? 1531 01:13:26,140 --> 01:13:27,541 - So, um... - I'm sorry, I'm sorry, 1532 01:13:27,575 --> 01:13:29,442 it's just so hard to hear you because 1533 01:13:29,476 --> 01:13:30,912 Pharrell jizzed in my ears earlier, 1534 01:13:30,945 --> 01:13:34,081 and the semen is making it really hard to hear. 1535 01:13:34,115 --> 01:13:39,220 Just a big, fat wad of non-rubber rapper jizz 1536 01:13:39,253 --> 01:13:40,888 all in my mouth! 1537 01:13:40,922 --> 01:13:42,957 Woo! Oh, oh my God! 1538 01:13:42,990 --> 01:13:47,862 Kid Cudi, your balls are so fucking soft! 1539 01:13:47,895 --> 01:13:52,733 Okay, you know what, um, I'll call you tomorrow, okay? 1540 01:13:55,502 --> 01:13:57,104 He hung up. 1541 01:13:57,138 --> 01:13:59,240 You're fine. 1542 01:13:59,273 --> 01:14:02,043 Yeah, it was really articulate. 1543 01:14:09,216 --> 01:14:10,985 Hi. 1544 01:14:12,787 --> 01:14:14,855 Hi. 1545 01:14:14,889 --> 01:14:16,023 Long night? 1546 01:14:17,925 --> 01:14:19,961 Very. 1547 01:14:19,994 --> 01:14:22,530 Thought you'd be in bed by now. 1548 01:14:23,698 --> 01:14:26,033 Uh, yeah, I, uh... 1549 01:14:26,067 --> 01:14:28,035 couldn't sleep. 1550 01:14:28,069 --> 01:14:29,904 Casey wasn't feeling well, 1551 01:14:29,937 --> 01:14:33,274 so I was with her and Sage. 1552 01:14:33,307 --> 01:14:35,943 Were you? 1553 01:14:35,977 --> 01:14:41,582 Yeah, hence... leftover pizza. 1554 01:14:41,615 --> 01:14:45,152 There was more, but the other pieces got mugged. 1555 01:14:45,186 --> 01:14:46,787 Yeah, I'm not really hungry. 1556 01:14:46,821 --> 01:14:48,022 I, um... 1557 01:14:51,692 --> 01:14:53,627 I got dinner with Jared. 1558 01:14:58,833 --> 01:15:00,134 Oh. 1559 01:15:04,105 --> 01:15:06,574 Yeah. 1560 01:15:06,607 --> 01:15:08,309 Why didn't you tell me? 1561 01:15:08,342 --> 01:15:10,644 I didn't know how. 1562 01:15:10,678 --> 01:15:14,648 Were you planning on telling me? 1563 01:15:14,682 --> 01:15:17,551 I don't know. 1564 01:15:17,585 --> 01:15:22,023 I was embarrassed, okay? 1565 01:15:22,056 --> 01:15:24,058 You were embarrassed? 1566 01:15:25,026 --> 01:15:26,994 Imagine how I felt 1567 01:15:27,028 --> 01:15:28,562 when my best friend told me 1568 01:15:28,596 --> 01:15:30,564 that my girlfriend fucks for money. 1569 01:15:30,598 --> 01:15:31,766 Fucked. 1570 01:15:31,799 --> 01:15:34,068 Past tense. 1571 01:15:34,101 --> 01:15:38,072 Just out of curiosity, when was the last guy? 1572 01:15:38,105 --> 01:15:40,841 Was it the week we met? 1573 01:15:40,875 --> 01:15:44,045 Was it the day we met? 1574 01:15:48,182 --> 01:15:50,184 Okay, um... 1575 01:15:53,988 --> 01:15:56,190 Right, I guess next topic, 1576 01:15:56,223 --> 01:15:59,593 are there... are there any kids 1577 01:15:59,627 --> 01:16:01,896 that I should know about? 1578 01:16:01,929 --> 01:16:04,265 No? 1579 01:16:04,298 --> 01:16:06,600 Okay, well, that's good, no kids. 1580 01:16:06,634 --> 01:16:08,135 Um... 1581 01:16:08,169 --> 01:16:09,637 Do you run a drug cartel? 1582 01:16:09,670 --> 01:16:10,905 I wanted to tell you. 1583 01:16:10,938 --> 01:16:12,239 God, Morgan, you... 1584 01:16:12,273 --> 01:16:14,108 you lied to me. 1585 01:16:14,141 --> 01:16:16,944 I didn't lie. 1586 01:16:16,977 --> 01:16:19,814 Come on. 1587 01:16:29,957 --> 01:16:34,662 You know, I really think that... I need to be alone tonight. 1588 01:16:34,695 --> 01:16:36,063 Lowick, it's three in the morning. 1589 01:16:36,097 --> 01:16:37,364 I know it's three in the morning, 1590 01:16:37,398 --> 01:16:39,100 but I don't think it's a good idea 1591 01:16:39,133 --> 01:16:41,402 that we be in the same room right now. 1592 01:16:41,435 --> 01:16:43,704 - Please, let's just go to bed. - Morgan, um, 1593 01:16:43,737 --> 01:16:45,639 I need you to leave. 1594 01:16:47,808 --> 01:16:50,644 Please. 1595 01:16:50,678 --> 01:16:54,115 I'm... please, I'm asking you to leave. 1596 01:17:02,723 --> 01:17:04,291 I'll, um... 1597 01:17:08,963 --> 01:17:11,832 I'll, um, put the pizza in the fridge. 1598 01:17:11,866 --> 01:17:14,068 It's your favorite, by the way. 1599 01:17:14,101 --> 01:17:17,738 Um, pepperoni and olive on gluten-free crust, 1600 01:17:17,771 --> 01:17:20,407 even though gluten-free doesn't really constitute as pizza, 1601 01:17:20,441 --> 01:17:22,443 but, you know, I got it anyways because you like it, 1602 01:17:22,476 --> 01:17:25,412 - and I thought you'd want some... - Morgan. 1603 01:17:25,446 --> 01:17:27,248 Yeah. 1604 01:17:30,751 --> 01:17:33,320 You can leave my key on the counter. 1605 01:17:37,324 --> 01:17:40,294 Yeah, um... 1606 01:17:41,862 --> 01:17:44,865 I'll, um... 1607 01:17:44,899 --> 01:17:47,701 I'll leave it right here next to the pizza. 1608 01:18:55,202 --> 01:18:58,005 Late night with Pharrell? 1609 01:18:58,038 --> 01:18:59,940 - Can we talk? - No. 1610 01:18:59,974 --> 01:19:01,475 Look, I'm sorry, okay? 1611 01:19:01,509 --> 01:19:03,210 We both fucked up, let's just reset and... 1612 01:19:03,244 --> 01:19:05,479 No, I didn't fuck up. 1613 01:19:05,513 --> 01:19:06,981 You fucked up. 1614 01:19:07,014 --> 01:19:09,149 Can we handle this like adults, please? 1615 01:19:09,183 --> 01:19:11,485 You know what, no, we can't handle this like adults 1616 01:19:11,519 --> 01:19:13,854 because you are not an adult. 1617 01:19:13,887 --> 01:19:15,523 - You are a child. - Casey... 1618 01:19:15,557 --> 01:19:17,424 - And I cant do this anymore. - Come on. 1619 01:19:17,458 --> 01:19:19,126 - I'm done. - Doing what? 1620 01:19:19,159 --> 01:19:21,862 You lie every time you say you're coming over... 1621 01:19:21,895 --> 01:19:24,832 I will come over, it's just... sometimes shit comes up. 1622 01:19:24,865 --> 01:19:26,066 - Shit comes up! - Shit comes up 1623 01:19:26,100 --> 01:19:27,968 like a Chance the Rapper fucking after-party? 1624 01:19:28,002 --> 01:19:29,336 Are you out of your goddamn mind? 1625 01:19:29,370 --> 01:19:30,938 You know he's my favorite fucking artist! 1626 01:19:30,971 --> 01:19:34,108 Oh my God! 1627 01:19:34,141 --> 01:19:35,577 What the fuck? 1628 01:19:35,610 --> 01:19:36,977 Take your bag of shit, 1629 01:19:37,011 --> 01:19:38,580 lose my number, and get the hell out! 1630 01:19:38,613 --> 01:19:40,414 Chill the fuck out, you're being dramatic, okay? 1631 01:19:42,082 --> 01:19:43,951 What did you just say to me? 1632 01:19:43,984 --> 01:19:45,319 You honestly think you're not making this 1633 01:19:45,352 --> 01:19:48,222 a much bigger deal than it is, really? 1634 01:19:50,491 --> 01:19:51,392 Fuck, what the fuck! 1635 01:19:51,425 --> 01:19:53,427 Now you're liable to call me dramatic! 1636 01:19:53,460 --> 01:19:55,530 Oh, you fucking punched me! 1637 01:19:55,563 --> 01:19:57,931 You fucking punched me! 1638 01:19:57,965 --> 01:19:59,967 Ah, fuck! 1639 01:20:00,000 --> 01:20:03,971 I come all the way out here to check on you... 1640 01:20:04,004 --> 01:20:05,205 and make sure you're okay. 1641 01:20:05,239 --> 01:20:08,342 The least you can do is come outside and talk to me, babe. 1642 01:20:11,513 --> 01:20:14,214 Come on, just... 1643 01:20:14,248 --> 01:20:17,184 Just come outside and talk to me. 1644 01:20:18,419 --> 01:20:19,621 Please. 1645 01:20:23,257 --> 01:20:25,459 Ah, fuck. 1646 01:20:27,394 --> 01:20:29,396 Thank you... Woah, dude, what the fuck! 1647 01:20:29,430 --> 01:20:31,432 Number one, don't fucking call me dramatic. 1648 01:20:31,465 --> 01:20:33,334 I didn't mean it like that, I didn't mean it like that! 1649 01:20:33,367 --> 01:20:35,202 Two, don't call me dude! 1650 01:20:35,235 --> 01:20:36,870 Will you put the fucking knife down? 1651 01:20:36,904 --> 01:20:38,339 And three, I have a fucking hangover, 1652 01:20:38,372 --> 01:20:40,140 so stop pounding on my door! 1653 01:20:40,174 --> 01:20:42,209 Casey, what the fuck! 1654 01:20:45,112 --> 01:20:47,915 Get the fuck outta here, I swear to God, 1655 01:20:47,948 --> 01:20:49,517 I'll fucking cut you! 1656 01:20:51,352 --> 01:20:53,087 Will you just stop and listen? 1657 01:20:53,120 --> 01:20:55,189 I don't know how to tell you to calm down 1658 01:20:55,222 --> 01:20:56,056 without offending you. 1659 01:20:56,090 --> 01:20:58,425 Just chill out so we can talk, okay? 1660 01:20:58,459 --> 01:21:01,095 And if you stab me, it won't count as self-defense, 1661 01:21:01,128 --> 01:21:02,429 so please. 1662 01:21:02,463 --> 01:21:04,198 Just talk to me. 1663 01:21:05,466 --> 01:21:07,569 I think we should break up. 1664 01:21:08,936 --> 01:21:10,904 What? 1665 01:21:46,741 --> 01:21:48,175 You're back. 1666 01:21:48,208 --> 01:21:51,178 Let me guess, they bumped you up to CEO. 1667 01:21:52,079 --> 01:21:54,281 Still assistant, but I feel very strongly 1668 01:21:54,314 --> 01:21:55,717 an offer's about to be made. 1669 01:21:58,385 --> 01:22:00,454 Celebratory drink. 1670 01:22:00,487 --> 01:22:01,689 That's fast service. 1671 01:22:01,723 --> 01:22:03,290 Yeah, I'll be right back. 1672 01:22:04,358 --> 01:22:05,727 Don't go anywhere. 1673 01:22:06,661 --> 01:22:09,496 I could also stay, if you want company. 1674 01:22:09,531 --> 01:22:12,132 - It's not a big deal. - No, you should go. 1675 01:22:12,166 --> 01:22:13,434 Yeah, no, I've already left. 1676 01:22:13,467 --> 01:22:15,502 - I'm not even here. - Okay. 1677 01:22:15,537 --> 01:22:17,971 - Huh, who are you? - Go, leave me alone. 1678 01:22:18,005 --> 01:22:18,972 Okay. 1679 01:23:57,772 --> 01:24:00,808 Oh, fuck. 1680 01:24:10,818 --> 01:24:13,320 Uh-uh, don't, no. 1681 01:24:13,353 --> 01:24:15,823 No, we offered him two extensions. 1682 01:24:15,857 --> 01:24:17,424 This book needs to be ready to print 1683 01:24:17,457 --> 01:24:18,593 before the end of the year. 1684 01:24:18,626 --> 01:24:21,663 If the proposal's not on my desk by the end of this week, 1685 01:24:21,696 --> 01:24:23,397 he can take the material somewhere else 1686 01:24:23,430 --> 01:24:26,133 and stop wasting my time. 1687 01:24:29,604 --> 01:24:31,104 - Morgan. - Yes. 1688 01:24:31,138 --> 01:24:32,674 I don't have a lot of time, don't sit. 1689 01:24:32,707 --> 01:24:33,608 Okay. 1690 01:24:33,641 --> 01:24:35,442 Finally got word back about that sample 1691 01:24:35,475 --> 01:24:37,477 you had me forward to Illustration. 1692 01:24:37,512 --> 01:24:39,212 Turns out the department's very interested. 1693 01:24:39,246 --> 01:24:41,248 - Really? - But that's all they expressed. 1694 01:24:41,281 --> 01:24:43,818 Interest, okay? Nothing set in stone. 1695 01:24:43,851 --> 01:24:45,520 - Okay. - They have a few ideas they want 1696 01:24:45,553 --> 01:24:48,221 to go over, so can you set up a meeting for next week? 1697 01:24:48,255 --> 01:24:50,424 Also, push my 5 p.m. to next Wednesday. 1698 01:24:50,457 --> 01:24:51,793 I need to leave the office early. 1699 01:24:51,826 --> 01:24:53,528 Yeah, absolutely. 1700 01:24:53,561 --> 01:24:57,765 Oh, why does my cappuccino taste like a mocha? 1701 01:24:57,799 --> 01:24:59,801 Um, the barista was new, 1702 01:24:59,834 --> 01:25:02,202 so maybe she made it wrong. 1703 01:25:02,235 --> 01:25:03,705 I don't get it. One job, make coffee, 1704 01:25:03,738 --> 01:25:05,807 and somehow it's an impossible feat? 1705 01:25:05,840 --> 01:25:07,775 Truly amazes me. 1706 01:25:07,809 --> 01:25:09,777 What are you doing here? 1707 01:25:09,811 --> 01:25:11,779 Oh, just living out the no-condom mistake 1708 01:25:11,813 --> 01:25:12,847 my parents made. 1709 01:25:12,880 --> 01:25:14,849 I meant here at work. 1710 01:25:14,882 --> 01:25:17,885 Is the answer to that not self-explanatory? 1711 01:25:19,821 --> 01:25:21,188 - Rough morning? - Yeah. 1712 01:25:21,221 --> 01:25:23,357 I was up until five working on some pieces. 1713 01:25:23,390 --> 01:25:25,192 I thought Aubrey was on the schedule. 1714 01:25:25,225 --> 01:25:26,193 Yeah, she was. 1715 01:25:26,226 --> 01:25:28,328 I got the honor of covering her. 1716 01:25:28,362 --> 01:25:31,365 Why does she work here if she's never going to show up? 1717 01:25:31,398 --> 01:25:33,166 Well, she doesn't work here anymore. 1718 01:25:33,200 --> 01:25:34,535 She finally got herself fired? 1719 01:25:34,569 --> 01:25:37,170 No, she booked a series regular or something 1720 01:25:37,204 --> 01:25:41,308 on, uh, some shitty sitcom. 1721 01:25:41,341 --> 01:25:42,577 Yeah, I don't get it either. 1722 01:25:42,610 --> 01:25:43,811 I never thought she was that funny, 1723 01:25:43,845 --> 01:25:47,882 but, hey, that just goes to show the quality of American humor. 1724 01:25:49,282 --> 01:25:50,384 You okay? 1725 01:25:50,417 --> 01:25:51,919 Yup, fine. 1726 01:25:51,953 --> 01:25:54,454 - That's clearly a lie. - You kidding? 1727 01:25:54,488 --> 01:25:57,257 I love when untalented people achieve success. 1728 01:25:57,290 --> 01:26:01,361 It really... reaffirms my life choices. 1729 01:26:15,576 --> 01:26:16,544 Check this out. 1730 01:26:16,577 --> 01:26:19,814 Ew, stop, that was on the floor! 1731 01:26:19,847 --> 01:26:22,684 Come on, let's go. 1732 01:26:22,717 --> 01:26:24,519 Hey, hey! 1733 01:26:24,552 --> 01:26:26,353 Hi, yeah, I'm talking to you. 1734 01:26:26,386 --> 01:26:28,455 First of all, you shouldn't even be using straws 1735 01:26:28,488 --> 01:26:29,590 because our planet is dying. 1736 01:26:29,624 --> 01:26:31,358 Secondly, pick up your used shit, 1737 01:26:31,391 --> 01:26:32,727 you fucking privileged ingrate. 1738 01:26:32,760 --> 01:26:34,662 What the hell are you doing? 1739 01:26:34,696 --> 01:26:37,431 Pick up your shit. 1740 01:26:45,305 --> 01:26:46,974 Sage! 1741 01:26:52,914 --> 01:26:55,883 The beans were actually handpicked by Korean amputees. 1742 01:26:55,917 --> 01:26:58,953 Well, those who had hands, anyways. 1743 01:27:01,055 --> 01:27:02,657 Uh, excuse me... 1744 01:27:07,427 --> 01:27:09,931 Sage, hey, wait up. 1745 01:27:09,964 --> 01:27:10,998 Green tea latte. 1746 01:27:11,032 --> 01:27:12,767 I wanted to... I don't know, 1747 01:27:12,800 --> 01:27:14,902 give you something to remember me by. 1748 01:27:15,837 --> 01:27:18,806 Huh, thank you. 1749 01:27:19,640 --> 01:27:21,042 It's, uh, 1750 01:27:21,075 --> 01:27:24,277 it's really gonna suck not working with you. 1751 01:27:24,311 --> 01:27:25,813 Yeah, well, I guess you're gonna have to find 1752 01:27:25,847 --> 01:27:27,782 someone else to sexually harass now, huh? 1753 01:27:27,815 --> 01:27:30,952 Oh, I've had my eye on Jeff for a while, we're good. 1754 01:27:30,985 --> 01:27:32,285 Well, it's a good pick. 1755 01:27:32,319 --> 01:27:36,657 He's scrawny, so you'll be able to pin him easy when he resists. 1756 01:27:36,691 --> 01:27:38,258 Yeah, yeah. 1757 01:27:42,864 --> 01:27:44,031 Yeah. 1758 01:27:44,065 --> 01:27:45,398 Well, uh... 1759 01:27:47,034 --> 01:27:49,336 Bye, Sage. 1760 01:27:50,571 --> 01:27:51,672 Bye. 1761 01:27:53,373 --> 01:27:54,709 Yeah. 1762 01:28:08,956 --> 01:28:10,625 I don't get grinding. 1763 01:28:10,658 --> 01:28:12,593 It's for people who have nothing to talk about 1764 01:28:12,627 --> 01:28:14,529 but want to fuck. 1765 01:28:14,562 --> 01:28:16,697 So why don't they just have sex? 1766 01:28:16,731 --> 01:28:19,734 Because we live in a society where people can't just be like, 1767 01:28:19,767 --> 01:28:22,737 "Hey, you wanna fuck?" "Yeah, okay, cool!" 1768 01:28:22,770 --> 01:28:24,639 And they have to, like, play hard-to-get 1769 01:28:24,672 --> 01:28:27,508 and keep their dignity and shit, so they come here 1770 01:28:27,542 --> 01:28:28,976 and bang their genitals against each other 1771 01:28:29,010 --> 01:28:31,913 so they feel like they applied some effort. 1772 01:28:31,946 --> 01:28:35,049 It's low-culture socioecology. 1773 01:28:36,449 --> 01:28:38,820 - Oh, hello. - Ah, perfect timing. 1774 01:28:38,853 --> 01:28:40,087 If you enjoy critical thinking, 1775 01:28:40,121 --> 01:28:41,622 you're gonna want to check this out. 1776 01:28:41,656 --> 01:28:42,857 Move, scooch. 1777 01:28:42,890 --> 01:28:43,991 Oh, you need to sit here? 1778 01:28:46,928 --> 01:28:47,862 Sorry. 1779 01:28:51,866 --> 01:28:53,568 I want to make a toast. 1780 01:28:53,601 --> 01:28:56,503 To my early retirement and inevitable suicide? 1781 01:28:56,537 --> 01:28:58,573 You guys, I can't toast with water. 1782 01:28:58,606 --> 01:29:00,575 It's bad sex for seven years. 1783 01:29:00,608 --> 01:29:03,544 Oh, yeah, because we've had such good sex up until now. 1784 01:29:03,578 --> 01:29:05,680 - Speak for yourself. - Okay, Sage, 1785 01:29:05,713 --> 01:29:09,083 you can stop being upset about the life-sucking coffeehouse 1786 01:29:09,116 --> 01:29:11,819 because the Illustration department 1787 01:29:11,853 --> 01:29:13,688 loved your book sample. 1788 01:29:13,721 --> 01:29:14,789 - What? - Yup. 1789 01:29:14,822 --> 01:29:16,456 They want to meet with you next week. 1790 01:29:16,489 --> 01:29:18,458 - Congratulations. - Are you messing with me? 1791 01:29:18,491 --> 01:29:20,528 I'm not that cruel, okay? 1792 01:29:20,561 --> 01:29:23,130 Sagey, what, I'm so proud of you! 1793 01:29:23,164 --> 01:29:26,466 You're too talented to be stuck behind a register anyways. 1794 01:29:26,499 --> 01:29:27,568 Yeah. 1795 01:29:27,602 --> 01:29:30,605 And I know this is only one of many amazing things 1796 01:29:30,638 --> 01:29:33,541 that you're gonna accomplish in your lifetime. 1797 01:29:33,574 --> 01:29:35,442 So I'm really glad that you cussed out 1798 01:29:35,475 --> 01:29:38,145 a group of minors and got yourself fired! 1799 01:29:38,179 --> 01:29:40,648 - Thank you. - I love you guys. 1800 01:29:40,681 --> 01:29:42,149 Oh, we love you too. 1801 01:29:42,183 --> 01:29:43,416 What the fuck! 1802 01:29:43,450 --> 01:29:44,952 What the fuck is wrong with you? 1803 01:29:44,986 --> 01:29:46,120 Wrong with me? 1804 01:29:52,059 --> 01:29:54,929 Can I have another napkin, please? 1805 01:29:54,962 --> 01:29:56,631 Excuse me. 1806 01:29:57,932 --> 01:29:59,000 Sorry. 1807 01:30:00,601 --> 01:30:01,769 Hi. 1808 01:30:01,802 --> 01:30:03,137 Hey. 1809 01:30:05,072 --> 01:30:08,441 Some bitch spilled my drink on Sage, so... 1810 01:30:08,475 --> 01:30:09,442 Hi. 1811 01:30:09,476 --> 01:30:10,945 Good to see you guys. 1812 01:30:11,846 --> 01:30:13,514 Hi, I'm Morgan. 1813 01:30:13,547 --> 01:30:14,849 Sarah. 1814 01:30:14,882 --> 01:30:17,151 Love your dress, very fancy. 1815 01:30:17,184 --> 01:30:19,452 - Thank you. - We're out celebrating 1816 01:30:19,486 --> 01:30:20,988 because Sage may get a book deal. 1817 01:30:21,022 --> 01:30:22,823 That's amazing, congratulations. 1818 01:30:22,857 --> 01:30:24,825 Thanks! 1819 01:30:24,859 --> 01:30:26,093 What's your book about? 1820 01:30:26,127 --> 01:30:27,762 It's an art book. 1821 01:30:27,795 --> 01:30:29,764 All drawings of morbid life moments 1822 01:30:29,797 --> 01:30:32,033 that involve coffee, which I incidentally named 1823 01:30:32,066 --> 01:30:33,634 "The Coffee Table Book." 1824 01:30:35,937 --> 01:30:38,205 I'm not very good at pitching it, clearly. 1825 01:30:38,239 --> 01:30:40,074 No, it sounds cute! 1826 01:30:41,742 --> 01:30:42,977 Thanks. 1827 01:30:45,146 --> 01:30:47,214 So, you're on a date then? 1828 01:30:48,182 --> 01:30:49,216 Uh, yeah. 1829 01:30:49,250 --> 01:30:51,786 This would... be a date. 1830 01:30:51,819 --> 01:30:54,155 All right, well... 1831 01:30:54,188 --> 01:30:55,056 there you go. 1832 01:30:55,089 --> 01:30:58,926 Okay, um, Sarah, pleasure to meet you, 1833 01:30:58,960 --> 01:31:01,562 and again, lovely dress. 1834 01:31:01,595 --> 01:31:03,564 Glad you're doing well. 1835 01:31:04,732 --> 01:31:06,033 Fantastic. 1836 01:31:10,204 --> 01:31:11,639 Bye. 1837 01:31:17,244 --> 01:31:19,880 - You okay? - Hmm. 1838 01:31:19,914 --> 01:31:21,615 If it makes you feel any better, 1839 01:31:21,649 --> 01:31:24,251 he looked more happy to see you than terrified. 1840 01:31:24,285 --> 01:31:26,187 I have to tell him that I have it? 1841 01:31:26,220 --> 01:31:27,888 No, you're good. If you have, like, herpes, 1842 01:31:27,922 --> 01:31:29,824 then you have to tell him, but not HPV 1843 01:31:29,857 --> 01:31:31,158 because they can't get it. 1844 01:31:31,192 --> 01:31:32,860 Can we please talk 1845 01:31:32,893 --> 01:31:35,129 about that girl all over Brett, though? 1846 01:31:35,162 --> 01:31:36,831 - Super extra. - Right. 1847 01:31:36,864 --> 01:31:39,266 - But she's a hooker, so... - Shut up. 1848 01:31:39,300 --> 01:31:41,669 She's been with, like, a ton of old dudes. 1849 01:31:41,702 --> 01:31:42,636 Stop, I can't even. 1850 01:31:42,670 --> 01:31:44,305 I don't care how much money you pay me, 1851 01:31:44,338 --> 01:31:45,873 I'd fucking kill myself. 1852 01:31:54,315 --> 01:31:56,017 It's fine, no, it's fine. 1853 01:31:56,050 --> 01:31:58,853 - You don't need to say bye. - I'll say bye, it's fine. 1854 01:31:58,886 --> 01:32:00,154 - Don't. - It's fine, it's fine. 1855 01:32:02,189 --> 01:32:04,692 We're leaving, so I thought I'd say bye. 1856 01:32:04,725 --> 01:32:08,329 Cool. Wine. 1857 01:32:08,362 --> 01:32:09,764 Wow, that's good. 1858 01:32:09,797 --> 01:32:11,165 What is this? 1859 01:32:11,198 --> 01:32:13,601 Uh... Merlot. 1860 01:32:13,634 --> 01:32:15,336 That's much better than the clearance bullshit 1861 01:32:15,369 --> 01:32:17,004 that we had on our first date. 1862 01:32:17,038 --> 01:32:18,906 You remember that, right? 1863 01:32:18,939 --> 01:32:20,674 Mmm. 1864 01:32:20,708 --> 01:32:22,643 Fucking delicious. 1865 01:32:22,676 --> 01:32:25,046 - Morgan... - Oh, I'm sorry. 1866 01:32:25,079 --> 01:32:27,648 Did you not tell her that we used to date? 1867 01:32:27,681 --> 01:32:29,250 - We used to date. - Yeah, I gathered. 1868 01:32:29,283 --> 01:32:31,685 Perceptive, I love it. 1869 01:32:31,719 --> 01:32:35,022 Lowick, man, he is such the sweet guy. 1870 01:32:35,056 --> 01:32:36,891 Morgan, we should really go. 1871 01:32:36,924 --> 01:32:38,626 Yeah, definitely, definitely, yeah, yeah. 1872 01:32:38,659 --> 01:32:40,995 I was just telling, um... 1873 01:32:41,028 --> 01:32:42,963 - Sarah. - ...Sarah here 1874 01:32:42,997 --> 01:32:47,034 how lucky she is to be with such a gosh-darn sweet guy. 1875 01:32:47,068 --> 01:32:49,003 You know what I like most about him? 1876 01:32:49,036 --> 01:32:52,039 How much he values total honesty. 1877 01:32:52,073 --> 01:32:54,341 - I told him I loved him... - Um, Morgan, why don't we... 1878 01:32:54,375 --> 01:32:56,977 No, don't touch me! 1879 01:32:57,011 --> 01:32:58,279 This is a really great story. 1880 01:32:58,312 --> 01:33:00,081 After we said, "I love you," 1881 01:33:00,114 --> 01:33:01,982 he found out that I fucked for money, 1882 01:33:02,016 --> 01:33:03,751 and he kicked me out of his house 1883 01:33:03,784 --> 01:33:05,820 in the middle of the night and never returned 1884 01:33:05,853 --> 01:33:08,856 a single one of my calls or texts. 1885 01:33:08,889 --> 01:33:11,325 Man, that is rich. 1886 01:33:13,260 --> 01:33:16,297 Still as funny as the first time it happened. 1887 01:33:16,330 --> 01:33:17,865 Ooh. 1888 01:33:17,898 --> 01:33:19,400 I know that look. 1889 01:33:19,433 --> 01:33:21,702 That is a look of a person finding out 1890 01:33:21,735 --> 01:33:23,304 for the very first time. 1891 01:33:23,337 --> 01:33:26,273 Did you not tell her that you used to fuck a prostitute? 1892 01:33:26,307 --> 01:33:28,809 - Did he not tell you that? - Hadn't gotten to that yet, no. 1893 01:33:28,843 --> 01:33:29,944 You're welcome. 1894 01:33:29,977 --> 01:33:34,248 I saved you one very awkward conversation, my friend. 1895 01:33:34,281 --> 01:33:35,850 So please, Stacy... 1896 01:33:35,883 --> 01:33:39,253 - Sarah. - Sarah, so close. 1897 01:33:39,286 --> 01:33:41,655 Don't worry, I'm very much into health. 1898 01:33:41,689 --> 01:33:43,858 I got checked constantly, 1899 01:33:43,891 --> 01:33:46,127 especially after we stopped using condoms. 1900 01:33:46,160 --> 01:33:47,328 Okay, Morgan. 1901 01:33:47,361 --> 01:33:48,462 I really think we should go. 1902 01:33:48,496 --> 01:33:51,065 Oh, I completely forgot you guys were standing here. 1903 01:33:51,098 --> 01:33:53,968 Sarah, lovely to meet you. 1904 01:33:54,001 --> 01:33:56,103 Lowick... 1905 01:33:57,338 --> 01:33:59,874 I'm sorry. 1906 01:34:09,750 --> 01:34:11,085 Morgan, can you just wait a second? 1907 01:34:11,118 --> 01:34:12,686 I don't want to hear about what I should 1908 01:34:12,720 --> 01:34:13,854 or should not have done. 1909 01:34:13,888 --> 01:34:15,055 I just needed to say that. 1910 01:34:15,089 --> 01:34:16,790 Why did you say all of that? 1911 01:34:16,824 --> 01:34:18,759 Can we not do this right now? 1912 01:34:18,792 --> 01:34:21,162 Sorry if I don't feel like brushing all of that 1913 01:34:21,195 --> 01:34:25,065 under the rug like it was nothing. 1914 01:34:25,099 --> 01:34:26,767 Did you know about this? 1915 01:34:31,739 --> 01:34:32,840 You're my best fucking friend. 1916 01:34:32,873 --> 01:34:34,341 - What were you thinking? - Well, you're not exactly 1917 01:34:34,375 --> 01:34:36,310 the most open-minded person that I know. 1918 01:34:36,343 --> 01:34:38,946 This is why I don't cheers with water! 1919 01:34:38,979 --> 01:34:40,447 Casey! 1920 01:34:40,481 --> 01:34:43,350 Casey, Casey! 1921 01:34:43,384 --> 01:34:46,220 Dude, where are you going? 1922 01:34:46,253 --> 01:34:49,156 Far, far away! 1923 01:34:57,532 --> 01:34:58,799 Sage. 1924 01:34:58,832 --> 01:35:00,234 - What? - Get up. 1925 01:35:00,267 --> 01:35:01,468 No. 1926 01:35:01,502 --> 01:35:03,370 The ground is disgusting. Come on. 1927 01:35:03,404 --> 01:35:05,272 Whatever, we probably already have hep C 1928 01:35:05,306 --> 01:35:07,308 from walking barefoot anyway, so it doesn't matter. 1929 01:35:07,341 --> 01:35:11,445 I am way too tired for this bullshit right now, okay? 1930 01:35:11,478 --> 01:35:13,814 I don't care, I'm protesting. 1931 01:35:13,847 --> 01:35:16,083 So, what, you're just gonna lay on the ground all night? 1932 01:35:16,116 --> 01:35:18,385 If it means not walking in awkward silence anymore, 1933 01:35:18,419 --> 01:35:20,154 yeah, absolutely. 1934 01:35:20,187 --> 01:35:22,256 You're probably laying in dry pee. 1935 01:35:22,289 --> 01:35:24,258 At least it's not wet pee. 1936 01:35:26,293 --> 01:35:28,796 Casey! 1937 01:35:29,997 --> 01:35:32,299 If she's trying to kill herself by running into traffic, 1938 01:35:32,333 --> 01:35:34,168 tell her none of that sideswipe bullshit. 1939 01:35:34,201 --> 01:35:36,203 It has to be head-on. 1940 01:35:38,573 --> 01:35:40,874 Guys? 1941 01:35:40,908 --> 01:35:41,775 Oh, what the... 1942 01:35:41,809 --> 01:35:43,511 You're not supposed to just leave me 1943 01:35:43,545 --> 01:35:46,447 in the middle of the street! 1944 01:35:46,480 --> 01:35:49,183 Casey! 1945 01:35:49,216 --> 01:35:50,818 Casey, stop! 1946 01:35:50,851 --> 01:35:53,320 Someone's gonna call the cops on us. 1947 01:35:58,259 --> 01:36:00,027 Oh, Jesus. 1948 01:36:03,097 --> 01:36:07,101 Casey, we got kicked out last time we did this. 1949 01:36:07,134 --> 01:36:08,936 How long you gonna ignore me for? 1950 01:36:12,973 --> 01:36:15,376 You assholes know this unlocks, right? 1951 01:36:15,409 --> 01:36:17,111 Why are you so far behind? 1952 01:36:17,144 --> 01:36:18,879 Oh, I don't know, maybe because you left me 1953 01:36:18,912 --> 01:36:20,180 in the middle of the freaking street. 1954 01:36:20,214 --> 01:36:21,215 I'm sorry. 1955 01:36:23,551 --> 01:36:25,219 No. 1956 01:36:25,252 --> 01:36:26,920 - Yes. - No. 1957 01:36:39,133 --> 01:36:40,602 God, is it cold? 1958 01:36:40,635 --> 01:36:42,069 Come on, it's not bad. 1959 01:36:42,102 --> 01:36:43,237 I think I don't believe you. 1960 01:36:43,270 --> 01:36:44,438 Oh, now it's cold. 1961 01:36:47,207 --> 01:36:48,842 Oh! 1962 01:36:48,876 --> 01:36:50,911 Eeh! 1963 01:36:50,944 --> 01:36:53,981 Why are you staring at me like that? 1964 01:36:54,014 --> 01:36:57,217 I didn't do anything, you should be mad at her! 1965 01:37:04,358 --> 01:37:06,093 Are you gonna get in? 1966 01:37:06,126 --> 01:37:08,530 - No. - We're gonna peer-pressure you. 1967 01:37:08,563 --> 01:37:09,564 No. 1968 01:37:09,597 --> 01:37:11,365 Please. 1969 01:37:11,398 --> 01:37:13,233 - You have to. - I don't want to. 1970 01:37:13,267 --> 01:37:15,035 But... but you have to. 1971 01:37:15,069 --> 01:37:17,504 - I really don't. - Lovely in here. 1972 01:37:17,539 --> 01:37:19,039 I really fucking don't. 1973 01:37:19,073 --> 01:37:21,408 Do you wanna play colors? 1974 01:37:21,442 --> 01:37:23,377 I don't. 1975 01:37:23,410 --> 01:37:26,380 - You don't? - No, I'm lazy. 1976 01:37:26,413 --> 01:37:27,948 Marco Polo? 1977 01:37:30,451 --> 01:37:32,319 Just get in the freaking pool! 1978 01:37:32,353 --> 01:37:33,954 Sharks? 1979 01:37:33,987 --> 01:37:35,122 What... what is that? 1980 01:37:35,155 --> 01:37:36,524 That's not even a game. 1981 01:37:36,558 --> 01:37:39,561 She's just naming aquatic life now. 1982 01:37:39,594 --> 01:37:42,062 - Get in! - Mermaids? 1983 01:37:42,096 --> 01:37:43,497 No, no, no! 1984 01:37:43,531 --> 01:37:45,933 Don't fucking touch me. 1985 01:37:45,966 --> 01:37:48,168 - Get in the pool. - Fine. 1986 01:37:51,004 --> 01:37:54,441 She listens to me if I just, like... 1987 01:37:54,475 --> 01:37:56,477 - Oh, do I? - ...dagger her. 1988 01:37:56,511 --> 01:37:59,980 - It's nice, right? - You are a liar. 1989 01:38:00,013 --> 01:38:02,116 I hate you. 1990 01:38:06,521 --> 01:38:08,523 You're being a baby. 1991 01:38:13,293 --> 01:38:15,963 Having so much fun tonight. 1992 01:38:15,996 --> 01:38:17,431 So... 1993 01:38:18,966 --> 01:38:21,435 So, guys, I found out 1994 01:38:21,468 --> 01:38:24,271 that I'm manic depressive, by the way. 1995 01:38:28,543 --> 01:38:31,713 - Wait, what? - Excuse me? 1996 01:38:31,746 --> 01:38:34,047 Yeah. 1997 01:38:34,081 --> 01:38:39,521 I got the official word, like, six months ago. 1998 01:38:39,554 --> 01:38:43,257 So, I know why you didn't tell me. 1999 01:38:43,290 --> 01:38:44,626 I get it. 2000 01:38:44,659 --> 01:38:47,695 Wait, so you have a legal mental illness? 2001 01:38:49,129 --> 01:38:50,998 Apparently. 2002 01:38:51,031 --> 01:38:52,667 Does that come with a handicap placard? 2003 01:38:52,700 --> 01:38:54,569 'Cause that could really benefit all of us. 2004 01:38:56,003 --> 01:38:58,405 Just thinking about the parking situation. 2005 01:38:58,439 --> 01:39:00,642 - Too soon. - I'm thinking ahead! 2006 01:39:00,675 --> 01:39:03,010 - A bit funny. - Planning for the future. 2007 01:39:03,043 --> 01:39:05,279 - I'm kidding! - Help me. 2008 01:39:05,312 --> 01:39:06,714 Come here. 2009 01:39:13,688 --> 01:39:15,255 Help me, I'm bored. 2010 01:39:17,357 --> 01:39:19,193 Just roll it! 2011 01:39:19,226 --> 01:39:21,061 Okay. 2012 01:39:24,298 --> 01:39:26,734 Un-fucking-believable. 2013 01:39:26,768 --> 01:39:28,570 Can we not learn to play another game? 2014 01:39:28,603 --> 01:39:30,370 - No. - No. 2015 01:39:30,404 --> 01:39:32,039 Here you go, congratulations. 2016 01:39:32,072 --> 01:39:33,541 No! 2017 01:39:33,575 --> 01:39:35,042 It's olive juice, okay? 2018 01:39:35,075 --> 01:39:36,611 Your sobriety is safe, I promise. 2019 01:39:36,644 --> 01:39:37,779 Okay, fine. 2020 01:39:41,181 --> 01:39:42,382 You disgrace me. 2021 01:39:44,786 --> 01:39:47,622 I have something to show you, I totally forgot. 2022 01:39:50,290 --> 01:39:52,760 What is this? 2023 01:39:54,562 --> 01:39:55,395 Hmm. 2024 01:39:55,429 --> 01:39:58,265 "In the event I never see you again, 2025 01:39:58,298 --> 01:40:01,669 it was a real displeasure working with you. 2026 01:40:01,703 --> 01:40:04,672 When your book sells out at Urban Outfitters, 2027 01:40:04,706 --> 01:40:06,808 I'm gonna gloat about knowing you 2028 01:40:06,841 --> 01:40:11,245 back when you were a super bitchy barista. 2029 01:40:11,278 --> 01:40:15,517 And I definitely won't think of you when I jack off anymore." 2030 01:40:15,550 --> 01:40:17,519 - That's so cute! - That's disgusting. 2031 01:40:17,552 --> 01:40:18,520 I think it's funny. 2032 01:40:18,553 --> 01:40:19,386 - It is. - Thank you. 2033 01:40:19,419 --> 01:40:23,090 "Best of luck in this shitty world. 2034 01:40:23,123 --> 01:40:25,058 Kyle." 2035 01:40:26,661 --> 01:40:29,831 "In case you ever... lover..." 2036 01:40:29,864 --> 01:40:31,298 - Lower. - "Lower." 2037 01:40:31,331 --> 01:40:33,467 - Lower. - His handwriting is very shitty. 2038 01:40:33,500 --> 01:40:36,436 "...your standards, you know where to find me. 2039 01:40:36,470 --> 01:40:38,171 Let's fuck each other up." 2040 01:40:38,205 --> 01:40:39,807 Oh my God, I love him. 2041 01:40:39,841 --> 01:40:41,408 - Really? - Yeah. 2042 01:40:41,441 --> 01:40:42,744 He's a weirdo. 2043 01:40:42,777 --> 01:40:44,612 Wait, you're not actually gonna call him. 2044 01:40:44,646 --> 01:40:46,848 He is so greasy, Sage. 2045 01:40:46,881 --> 01:40:48,716 Of course she's gonna call him. 2046 01:40:48,750 --> 01:40:50,685 Weirdos do all the fun, kinky shit. 2047 01:40:51,719 --> 01:40:53,320 Do you think his cum is greasy? 2048 01:40:53,353 --> 01:40:55,523 Okay, I am not... not at that level yet. 2049 01:40:55,557 --> 01:40:57,257 Grease jizz! 2050 01:40:57,291 --> 01:40:58,726 Yes! 2051 01:40:58,760 --> 01:41:00,327 New addition to the team. 2052 01:41:00,360 --> 01:41:01,461 He's not greasy! 2053 01:41:01,495 --> 01:41:04,866 Why do you guys always have to circle back to jizz? 2054 01:41:04,899 --> 01:41:07,434 - Why not? Why should we not? - Anything else. 2055 01:41:07,467 --> 01:41:09,202 - Why is she shushing us? - I don't know. 2056 01:41:09,236 --> 01:41:10,838 - You're judging me. - Is Kyle, like, outside? 2057 01:41:10,872 --> 01:41:14,308 - Of course I'm judging you. - Shut up, shut up, shut up. 2058 01:41:15,610 --> 01:41:21,348 I don't want your jizz grease breath on me! 2059 01:41:21,381 --> 01:41:23,685 Ew, why am I talking about jizz now? 2060 01:41:23,718 --> 01:41:26,721 - You guys have changed me. - You're corrupted! 2061 01:41:26,754 --> 01:41:28,255 I'm sorry, honey. 2062 01:41:32,459 --> 01:41:34,494 You scared the shit out... 2063 01:41:34,529 --> 01:41:36,229 You bitch! 2064 01:41:37,899 --> 01:41:39,499 Got 'em. 2065 01:41:39,534 --> 01:41:41,569 Yeah, you did. 2066 01:41:41,603 --> 01:41:44,171 When was the last time you shaved your legs? 2067 01:41:44,204 --> 01:41:45,472 Give me your hand. 2068 01:41:48,208 --> 01:41:52,312 I like Kyle now, he loves our girl for who she is. 2069 01:41:52,346 --> 01:41:54,281 Even with hairy legs. 2070 01:41:55,917 --> 01:41:58,620 I'm leaving you, I'm going pee. I'm done with you guys. 2071 01:41:58,653 --> 01:42:00,454 - Go pee. - Okay, bye. 2072 01:42:00,487 --> 01:42:03,357 - Yeah, I'm leaving. - Love you, mean it. 2073 01:42:03,390 --> 01:42:05,492 I hope you enjoy your life without me, 2074 01:42:05,526 --> 01:42:07,394 'cause it's gonna be a long one. 2075 01:42:07,427 --> 01:42:09,429 - Sagey. - A very long life. 2076 01:42:09,463 --> 01:42:10,898 Okay, wait, don't leave us. 2077 01:42:10,932 --> 01:42:12,767 We're a lesbian tribe! 2078 01:42:14,669 --> 01:42:17,772 - It's too late, I'm gone. - Okay, bye then. 2079 01:42:17,805 --> 01:42:19,339 I'm dead and I'm dying. 2080 01:42:19,373 --> 01:42:21,274 We'll survive without you. 2081 01:42:21,308 --> 01:42:23,711 - No, we won't, actually. - No?