[panting]
- ["Monster" by Walking on Cars plays] - [vocalizing]
♪ This monster's back in town ♪
♪ Danger knocking at my door ♪
♪ Don't come 'round here no more ♪
♪ I check the locks Shut the windows down ♪
♪ This monster's back in town ♪
[vocalizing]
♪ This monster's back in town ♪
["Dancing in the Dark" by Bruce Springsteen plays]
♪ I get up in the evening ♪
[man] Classic, this.
♪ And I ain't got nothing to say ♪
- Shut up! - I know, it sounds great.
It really hasn't dated at all.
- Don't be late. - I won't.
Good luck with the selection.
Don't let the fact that I've made A-team every year add to the pressure.
You'll be fine.
- Dickhead. - Hey.
- Warning. - A-team dickhead.
Can we please get this crap off?
- That's strike two. - [music stops]
That's not even swearing.
Dad, "crap" is not swearing.
- All right, mate. - Hey. You're not playing, Adam?
- Playing? - Yeah, Dads V Lads.
Dads V Lads?
Oh, shit... Uh, shoot. Um...
Sorry. It's Dads V Lads. I... forgot.
Right.
Right, it looks like we've found our goalie.
[players, crowd calling out]
- [cheering] - [whistle blowing]
[crowd booing]
Here's to total humiliation by kids.
Speak for yourself. I thought I had a good game.
[Adam] Oh, god. He's putting up a flip chart.
[man] Wait till he hands out the agenda.
- Last year it was laminated. - [phone ringing]
It's Corinne.
Tell her I've been on teacher trips. I know what goes on.
Hey, babe. How's the conference?
[Corinne] Aw, it's tough, it's really tough.
I'm currently recuperating after a hot bath and two glasses of Rioja.
Well, me and the boys are on a pub crawl.
Ryan's getting the Sambucas in.
- [chuckles] Where are you? Football? - Yeah.
Hey, listen, did you know it was dads and lads?
Yeah, I wrote it on the note.
- What note? - The one that's attached to the fridge.
- What fridge? - Oh, ha ha.
Listen, will you text me when you know which team he's on?
Oh, God, I hope it's the A.
Tom's really winding him up, and this Ryan swearing thing...
I know. God, it's a nightmare.
Potty-mouthed little prick. Takes after his mother.
[Corinne laughs]
Oh, God.
Bob's agenda.
You're not gonna believe this.
Bob's agenda...
has got 26 items on it.
Ah, yeah, well, I'm... I'm just gutted I can't be there.
I'm sure you are.
I think you've done this on purpose.
I don't think there even is a conference. I'm gonna ask the other teachers.
Actually, know what? I better get going.
I have got dinner in half an hour.
All right, love. Well, you enjoy yourself.
Oh, yeah, I will. I fully intend to.
Love you.
Yeah, love you. Bye.
Bye.
Wife left you to it, has she?
[chuckles]
Ah, yeah, she's away.
- Calls it work. - Hmm.
So have you got a kid playing in the match or what?
No.
You didn't have to stay with her, you know.
What?
Corinne. You didn't have to stay when she told you she was pregnant.
I'm sorry. Do... do I know you?
Two years ago, she told you she was pregnant, right?
That's why you stayed.
She told you she was pregnant and then she lost the baby.
- Who are you? - She lied, Adam.
She made it up. She was never pregnant.
Who are you? Why are you saying this?
Does that really matter?
Yeah, it does.
Okay.
Think of me as a stranger.
A stranger that knows.
She had a bump.
It was fake.
Cast your mind back to that time. Did you ever see her naked?
Fully naked?
It wasn't real.
Excuses to avoid sex and sickness.
When the miscarriage came, you look back and realized
the pregnancy had been difficult from the start.
[inhales] It's gone.
How do you know my wife? Who the hell are you?
All right, folks, grab your beers.
Let's get this show on the road.
[sighs] Think of me as a friend that just released you from prison.
You're full of shit.
- You should be thanking me. - Yeah? Why is that?
Because now you know she's a liar.
She faked the whole thing.
- [man] Adam? - Yeah.
If you need proof, look at your Visa card
and check for a charge to Novelty Funsy.
And one more thing.
If I were you...
I'd run DNA checks on your two boys.
Hey. Wait.
Stop!
Who are you?!
[camera snaps]
[muffled, indistinct speech]
[muffled, indistinct speech continues]
Corinne.
It's gone.
I've lost it.
I'm sorry I wasn't here.
I love you so much.
[Corinne breathing shakily]
[phone ringing]
Hi, this is Corinne. Leave a message.
Hey, it's me.
Doesn't matter.
[man] Made the A-team. Good result.
[Adam] Absolutely.
Yeah, except Jimmy Hoch making the A's.
What's that all about?
- Yeah, well... - What?
Ah, you know me, Adam. I'm not one for gossip.
Bob lost his job.
Since when?
Six weeks ago. But he doesn't want anyone knowing.
Anyway, he has this headhunter helping him find a job.
This very successful headhunter.
Stephen Hoch.
Jimmy's dad? You're kidding. That's outrageous.
Come on, you're a lawyer.
This shit happens all the time.
When it comes to looking after ourselves and our kids, then... [sucks teeth]
...we're all corrupt.
[car doors close, engine starts]
All right, see you tomorrow, mate.
Ryan.
[sighs]
[chuckles softly]
[scoffs]
[quietly] The fuck?
[phone ringing]
She made it up. She was never pregnant.
Now you know she's a liar.
[recorded voice] To help us deal with your call quickly,
please tell us in a few words why you are calling today.
Query, payments, card transactions.
I'm sorry. Could you repeat that?
Card transactions.
- I'm sorry. Could you repeat that? - Speak to a fucking human being!
Please hold while we connect you to one of our representatives.
[line rings]
Hello. My name's Peter. How can I help you today?
Yeah, there's a... there's a charge on my account
from a while back that I don't recognize.
I think it might be a mistake.
- What's the name of the company? - Novelty Funsy.
How are you spelling Funsy?
Fun-sy. S-Y.
And the date of the transaction?
Uh...
January...
fifteenth.
January 15th, 2017.
Ah, yeah. Some companies don't bill under their real name.
It's for discretion.
Discretion?
Yeah, like in hotels when adult movies appear as something else.
- Uh, so what is it? - It's an online retailer,
so I'll need to raise a specific inquiry
if you're sure this is something that you didn't purchase.
Yep, I'm sure.
I'll raise the inquiry. Can we get back to you on this number?
- Yep, thank you. - Have a good evening.
[Tom] Dad?
- Is it okay if Daisy stays? - I'll sleep in the spare room.
Did you ask your mom?
Yeah, she's cool with it.
Okay.
How did Ryan get on?
Yep, made the A.
Brother of their star player. It was inevitable.
[phone chimes, buzzes]
♪ We're gonna break some hearts tonight ♪
♪ We're blowing up like dynamite, yeah ♪
♪ This is how we do what we do 'Cause we're young and wild ♪
♪ We're gonna break some hearts tonight ♪
Dais.
- I just... - I know.
We're gonna be going away...
Different unis.
I just...
- I don't want it to be a big thing. - It won't.
I promise.
Look, we're casual.
No strings.
This is a very casual kiss.
[clattering]
What?
[clattering continues]
[loud whisper] Hey.
Why didn't you just text?
[loud whisper] Prefer this. Old school.
Two minutes.
[distant chatter, cheering]
- [electronic music playing] - ♪ Yeah ♪
[distant snoring]
[exhales]
[snoring continues]
Turn on your side.
Phillip.
- God... - [snoring continues]
[woman 1] So, uh...
guess what?
I finally told him.
[woman 2] Oh, my God. How was it?
Surprisingly mature.
- Huh, really? - I know.
What did you say?
Sit.
Just the truth. You know, I said that...
Sit! Now come here. Now, sit!
No, no, no! Sit!
Uh...
I said we've had 26 years.
Many of them happy, and that's not a failure, that's a success.
- But, you know... - [phone beeping]
Oh.
But, you know, now it's time for something else.
I tried a new house analogy,
but that all got a bit muddled.
Was he upset?
Hard to tell with Phil.
He slept in the spare room,
but I think that was mostly symbolic.
- God. - [phone beeping]
Oh.
Christ.
Sorry, the infant keeps calling me. I better find out what he wants.
- Can I call you back? - Right.
What is it?
[man] What is it? [scoffs]
I'll tell you what it is, some fucking weird shit.
[car door slams]
What are you doing on that thing?
"Investigating crime, really brutal. LOL."
Ooh, you're showing your age now, Jo.
It's Johanna. How many times with that?
And anyway, I thought you liked us oldies.
He's not that old. He's not, like, your age.
You said your new man was old enough to be your father.
Yes, technically, but you're actually old enough to be my mother.
And even mathematically, my gran.
Where's the body?
Don't you dare.
You've not seen the head?
No. No, it's just that, lying there like that.
Oh, it's giving me the creeps.
What is it?
Some kind of sheep?
- No, the neck's too long. - Giraffe?
Joking.
[bystander 1] Too small.
I'm guessing, but llama.
Alpaca.
What do you think's going on there, on the leg?
- Are they bite marks? - [bystander 2] I can't look anymore.
I can't look.
Bite marks.
And judging from the size and the shape of the indents...
I'd say there's a reasonable chance that they're human.
[retching]
[chime rattling]
[woman] Hello.
- Ah, hello... - Hi. We're from...
Hello, I'm...
DS Johanna Griffin.
This is DC Wesley Ross.
There's no cause for concern.
We're just looking into an incident about a mile or so from here
which involves an animal.
Looks very much like a white alpaca.
You think it's one of mine?
Well, logic dictates. You know, they're not the most common...
[woman] We'll soon see.
Gary,
Jason, Howard,
Mark, Robbie.
They're all there.
Liam,
Niall...
Harry,
Zayn...
Louis.
It's Louis.
What's happened? Is he dead?
Uh, I... I'm afraid so. Yes, I'm... I'm sorry.
And he's... he's been...
decapitated.
Decapitated?
Have you got any CCTV? You know, any...
visual security?
It's an alpaca farm, not Port Knox.
[woman] Oh, shit.
It's "Fort" Knox.
It's where the Americans keep their gold.
I know.
Really?
No, I'm thinking of Alcatraz.
[chuckles]
[boy] Hey, Mr. Price.
Mike. When did you arrive?
Kind of earlier.
[Adam] Huh.
I didn't hear ya.
Right.
No.
Tom upstairs?
Shower.
- Hey. - You've got three.
- Give me the pancake. - [phone rings]
I still want it.
- Hello. - Gross.
[man] It's Martin. That Parth fella has just turned up.
Shit. Uh...
I'm on my way.
- Hey, bud. - Mike?
Now.
Hello?
[man 1] In here.
Where is he?
Oh, he's safe.
- Martin. - [man 2] Hello?
- [man 2] Is someone there? - [Martin] He's down there.
- The cellar? - Yep.
[man 2] It's not fucking Silence of the Lambs.
Okay. Um...
Professionally speaking, I have to tell you that this is...
- Don't listen to him! He's mental. - ...kidnap.
- [man 2] He's absolutely mental! - Bullshit.
Well, you are kind of holding him against his will.
I was a cop for 30 years, Adam.
- I understand the definition of kidnap. - [distant banging]
[banging continues]
- The door closed behind him. - [man 2] Let me out!
[banging continues]
Okay.
- [man 2] I can't breathe! - Uh...
Do you mind if I...?
Be my guest.
But remember whose side you're on.
All right! All right! All right!
Are you fucking kidding me? I've been down there nearly an hour.
Forty-three minutes.
You're crazy. He's crazy.
Okay, just calm down.
Calm down? I'm calling the police.
- Give me me phone. - I haven't got it.
- Give him his phone. - He's stolen me fuckin' phone!
- He's an old man. - Fuck off.
You are. He's an old man that doesn't want to move.
Doesn't wanna sell. He's not interested in your redevelopment program.
And he really doesn't appreciate you showing up here unannounced,
waving your big, fat, corporate checkbook around.
Now, we've lodged our objection, we've adhered to the deadline,
and now due process needs to take place.
And due process can be very, very slow.
Cup of tea, anyone?
Okay, you're his lawyer. How much does he want?
A billion pounds.
I shouldn't tell you this, but I've been authorized to go as high as 400,000.
I shouldn't tell you this, but I've been authorized
to say no to whatever you offer.
He can't win, the stupid, old fuck!
And tricks like that...
Yeah...
smile it up, asshole.
You know and I know,
everyone's got their price.
- Have they? - Yeah.
And in the end, trust me,
the big guy always wins.
Lanky streak of piss.
[car door opens]
[Adam] Behave.
[car door closes]
- You think she sleeps with her alpacas? - [Johanna] Nope.
Not sex, just cuddles.
Maybe gets one in now and again on a cold winter's night.
I know a lad who used to sleep with a massive red setter,
like, under the covers, its head on his pillow.
I said, "Is that not a little..." Stop!
What? What is it?
Back there, drive back.
[Johanna] What is it?
Wes, where are we going?
[bird cawing]
Right.
There's more.
Jesus. Creepy.
There's a shoe.
[Wesley] Something's not right here.
Wes?
Yeah.
Footprints. Not shoes, feet.
[Wesley] Johanna!
Johanna!
Shit.
[Wesley] Over here!
[Johanna] Get an ambulance and call for backup!
Shit.
DC Ross, assistance required,
also an ambulance right now.
He's alive!
[phone ringing]
Hello.
[man] Hi. Is that Mr. Price?
Speaking.
Hi. It's Hashim from Derwent Bank.
I believe you put in a request last night
for the identity of a company that has the billing name...
Novelty Funsy.
Yeah, that's right.
Right. Well, I'm afraid we can't identify exactly what the payment relates to.
It seems to be an umbrella title that covers several different websites.
Uh, okay.
No worries.
I've got a list of the ISP addresses, which I'm happy to send you,
but obviously, I can't identify which of these,
if any, is the source of the purchase.
Would you like me to email this to the address we have on file?
[phone beeps]
Um, yeah, sure, of course.
- I'll send it over now. - Please.
Thank you.
Sorry.
Work call.
Back early?
Yeah. The lunch thing got canceled.
- Thank God. - [door opens]
[Corinne] Hey, you made the A-team.
Oh, come here. Let me hug you.
- Mom. - Oh, come on.
God, none of your friends are watching.
How was the conference? Did Selena behave herself?
Uh, Serena was perfectly professional,
right up until the point she dashed outside to vomit.
Coffee?
- Yeah, I'll do it. - Come on, I wanna hear all about footie.
Oh, Corinne?
Hi. Is Daisy still here?
Oh, yeah, she stayed the night.
[woman] I need her to look after Ella for an hour.
She was supposed to play hockey but suddenly decided...
I haven't suddenly decided.
[woman] Okay. Well, she's got a stomach ache.
Doesn't feel well, doesn't want to play.
However, I've got a training run. Triathlon's in three weeks.
Just go.
[woman] I will.
If you're sick I need to make sure you're with someone.
It's all right. We can take her for an hour.
Thanks.
Ugh. I don't know what's wrong with her.
It's like she's depressed.
Doesn't want to go to school, doesn't want to play sports.
- She's making up the tummy ache thing. - You know, she's at that age.
Want me to try talking to her?
Well, you can try.
I supposed it could be worse. Did you hear about Dante?
No. What?
He didn't come home last night.
His mother's beside herself.
Who'd be a parent?
I'll see you later.
Yeah. Bye.
I was having a surrogate pregnancy.
Didn't want people to know.
So I used fakepregnancy.co.uk
to pretend that I was going through the normal cycles.
No one suspected a thing.
Sorry I couldn't be there.
You were when it counted.
[Corinne sighs]
[exhales] It's gone.
I've lost it.
[voice on phone] ...two, three, four...
I'm just showing him what teachers get up to outside of school.
- Can I have a word. - What?
Garden.
Okay.
[door closes]
[Corinne] What's going on?
Did you fake your pregnancy?
- What the hell are you talking about? - Can we just skip this part?
- What? - The part where you pretend not to know
what I'm talking about. Let's just skip the denials, okay?
I know you faked your pregnancy.
Well, if you know, why are you asking?
What about the boys?
- The boys? - Are they mine?
Are you out of your mind?
You faked a pregnancy, Corinne. What else are you capable of?
Are they mine?
Yes! Christ, Adam.
Look at Tom's face, your eyes, your... your... your hair.
How... How can you even ask me that?
So...
talk to me.
What makes you think I faked a pregnancy?
Credit card payment.
Novelty Funsy.
It's a cover name for a fake pregnancy website.
- Right. How do you know that was for me? - Was it?
What are you even doing looking through bank statements...?
Stalling.
Corinne...
you lied to me.
You lied to the boys.
Now, you better start talking right now.
Corinne.
Do you remember when I had two school periods off during lunch?
- What about it? - [sighs]
Well, I used to get out of school for a couple of hours.
I'd go to that café in Portis Books.
I'd get a cup of tea, sit in the corner reading,
and after a while, Adam, you become a regular.
The same people will be there like a community...
- And? - There was this woman.
Suzanne Hope.
She was eight months pregnant. It was her first baby.
You know how young mothers-to-be are, all glowing
and over the top like they're the first person to get pregnant...
Great story. Can we get back to the fucking elephant sat here?
Can you just drop the sarcasm, Adam?
I'm trying to tell you something.
- So tell me. - I liked her.
We became friendly.
And then one day she just stopped coming.
Now, I... I just assumed she'd had the baby.
She was way overdue.
But she didn't reply to any of my messages.
Adam, please listen.
And she just killed all my calls...
- Is this going somewhere? - A few months later,
I saw her again in Starbucks near the library and she was pregnant.
Okay.
Heavily pregnant, Adam, like eight months.
So?
Well, it didn't make any sense.
So I just... I held back and I watched her.
And she was with this group of other women in the corner
holding court, talking to them about... about baby names.
And when she saw me she just looked terrified.
Did you say something to her?
Yes, I did.
She told me some story about having a stillborn. I don't know if it was true...
Corinne, what are you talking about?
Please, Adam.
She loved being pregnant.
It made her feel special.
So she faked a pregnancy?
That's insane.
No, no, Corinne, that is not normal behavior.
Yeah, well, she said her husband didn't care about her. She had no...
What does this got to do with us? You've got children, got me.
What?
Crazy Suzanne and her shitty little life made you think, "I'll fake a baby."
Why would you do that?
Why would you fake a baby, Corinne?
For attention? Is this some kind of deranged midlife crisis?
- Stop. - Okay, I'll stop.
But you need to tell me everything from start to finish...
- No. - What?
I said no.
- You're not just gonna walk away. - What are you gonna do? Keep me captive?
You owe me an explanation.
I need some time.
Just tell me!
What are you gonna do, Adam? Beat it out of me?
How did you find out?
A woman, a stranger. I've never seen her before.
- She came up to me and she... - What woman?
I've just told you, a stranger.
How does she know any of this?
And you, what, you just believed her?
I just need you...
to tell me the truth.
And I will.
I will, I promise, but just...
- Not like this. Not now. - Corinne?
This is insane. Corinne?
Adam...
this isn't what you think.
There's more to this.
So tell me.
Mom?
- Is everything all right? - Everything's fine.
[quietly sobbing]
- [monitor beeping] - [ventilator hissing]
What are they saying?
Still unresponsive.
Indications of moderate brain injury.
Could've hit a tree, could've been something else.
They're guessing he'd been there for hours.
Hours?
- What? - Do you think he jumped?
Why?
We pushed through those trees clothed. They're hard to get through.
You aren't darting through at speed and falling down that drop,
you're coming through slowly, thinking, "Whoa, big drop."
- But if it was dark... - If it was dark, you'd go even slower.
Especially with your dick out.
Hey, trust me, this is my area of expertise.
So why was he naked?
He's run through the woods shedding his clothes.
Turned on by mutilating an alpaca.
- If they're connected. - If.
- Let's not jump to conclusions. - No, no, sure.
I mean, two really bizarre events happen within a mile of each other.
Why would they be?
Let's find out who he is first. Check for misper calls.
Someone must be worried this one didn't come home last night.
I'll bring it over.
My dear.
Just what I need. Thank you.
- Here's to the new Johanna. - Cheers.
Cheers.
No regrets?
- Not yet. - Hmm.
I'll tell you what, I won't miss the snoring.
He's in the spare room and it's still, like, a thousand decibels.
Listen to you.
What?
"Like, a thousand decibels." That infant's rubbing off on you.
There's another good reason to retire.
Let's do the trip.
Come on. I mean, you're gonna be out of a job.
You're out of your marriage.
We always said we'd do it, Johanna.
You've got this place.
Yeah, which can be looked after.
And two dogs.
And a husband that can look after them.
Come on.
Me and you, Thelma and Louise across the states.
All we've gotta do is book the flights and we're doing it.
[in Southern accent] "I'm in deep shit, Thelma.
- Deep shit, Arkinsaw." - [chuckles]
[knocks faintly]
Listen. Um...
What you said yesterday, you were right.
You deserve to know everything.
And I want to explain, I do.
But not like this, Adam.
Not angry.
We have this school awards thing tonight.
Why don't we just eat after at Juniper Yard?
We can eat and I'll talk,
and then...
then we can see where we are.
You know the worst part about all of this?
I've stopped trusting you.
I know.
It hurts, doesn't it?
[Corinne sighs]
We all have our secrets, Adam.
Even you.
His name's Dante Gunnarsson. His parents reported him missing yesterday.
He spends a lot of time out and about so they weren't immediately concerned.
- Are they with him? - At the hospital.
He's stable but unresponsive.
They're doing an EEG this morning.
In the meantime...
"The lacerations on the animal are from human teeth."
But...
"Human bite is usually an elliptical injury.
However, in this case, the pattern is interrupted
by the absence of a left bicuspid."
I rang the hospital.
Our boy has all his teeth.
So, there's someone else.
There's someone else.
Vicky.
Bob, hello.
Have you seen Corinne?
Nowhere, no.
Oh, Vicky, can I have a word?
I just wanted to ask, and it's probably not a huge deal,
but your Ella, she's stopped talking with Mia.
And Mia said something's happened,
but she won't say what it is.
Do you have any idea what's going on?
No. No, none at all.
Well, there's something strange.
I just thought you should know.
She's been a bit down but...
I'm sure it's nothing serious.
[phone ringing]
- Hi. This is Corinne. Leave a message. - [beeps]
Sadly, I must begin this evening of celebration with some difficult news.
One of our year 12 pupils, Dante Gunnarsson,
has been involved in a serious accident.
And I'm afraid he's in a very worrying condition.
I'm sure you will all join me in wishing him and his family
all the best for his swift recovery.
But we must carry on
in difficult times,
and this evening is about celebrating
those students who have achieved
or excelled...
in this, their final year, of high school.
[applause]
And the award for art goes to Kiran Penvell.
Peter Harris.
Michelle Vosler.
And the one you've all been waiting for,
the most visible underwear award...
No, seriously.
The award for best sporting achievement goes to Anthony Carter.
Go on!
The final award this evening is our award, the students',
and we were asked to vote for our teacher of the year.
And I've been asked to say
that it has been a really close competition, as they're all so great.
[audience laughs]
Sadly, there can only be one winner.
And that person is...
Mrs. Price.
[whooping, cheering]
[applause dies down]
Hi.
I'm not Mrs. Price, obviously.
Um...
Uh, Corinne can't be here tonight.
She's, um...
She's unwell.
But I'd just like to say how much this'll mean to her.
She...
loves this job, it's her life, and, uh...
she's always cherished the work that she does...
bringing literature to life and...
encouraging you lot to fall in love with...
language, words.
And as her husband, her passion and...
belief in what she does
is something that I've...
always deeply admired.
But I will give this to her
and she can come and tell you herself when she feels better.
Cheers.
[applause]
Think she'll be at home?
I don't know.
- How can you not know where she is? - Well, do you?
Sorry, mate.
It's fine, okay?
Mom just didn't feel up to it tonight.
Now you know she's a liar.
[cell phone vibrates]
There's more to this.