1 00:00:50,723 --> 00:00:53,142 ["Love" by Michael Bublé playing] 2 00:01:04,153 --> 00:01:05,446 [gun cocks] 3 00:01:07,990 --> 00:01:09,033 [loud burst] 4 00:01:19,877 --> 00:01:21,670 [people chattering] 5 00:01:22,797 --> 00:01:24,089 [sighs deeply] 6 00:01:27,510 --> 00:01:28,511 [man 1] There she is! 7 00:01:28,594 --> 00:01:30,596 [cheering and applauding] 8 00:01:31,305 --> 00:01:32,515 Gloria! 9 00:01:32,598 --> 00:01:33,974 Hi. 10 00:01:34,058 --> 00:01:35,059 Welcome! 11 00:01:35,142 --> 00:01:36,811 -You look great. -Thank you! 12 00:01:36,894 --> 00:01:39,188 -Darcy, where have you been? -Hey! Hi! 13 00:01:39,271 --> 00:01:41,816 I was just taking a minute. Is that allowed? 14 00:01:41,899 --> 00:01:43,275 Not at your wedding. 15 00:01:43,359 --> 00:01:45,861 -Your Ketel One martini. -Oh. 16 00:01:45,945 --> 00:01:47,571 Obrigada, Jerome. 17 00:01:48,614 --> 00:01:50,574 Where is the groomzilla? 18 00:01:50,658 --> 00:01:52,576 Tom is not a groomzilla, okay? 19 00:01:52,660 --> 00:01:56,330 He just committed to making every detail perfect. 20 00:01:56,413 --> 00:01:59,458 You should have taken your father's money for this wedding. 21 00:01:59,542 --> 00:02:02,962 Then, professionals would make everything perfecto for you. 22 00:02:03,045 --> 00:02:04,755 Mom, I've told you. We are adults 23 00:02:04,839 --> 00:02:08,676 and we wanted to pay for our own wedding so it could be what we wanted. 24 00:02:08,759 --> 00:02:11,262 And this is what you wanted? 25 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:13,055 That was a printing error. 26 00:02:13,138 --> 00:02:15,850 ["Love" by Michael Bublé continues playing] 27 00:02:15,933 --> 00:02:21,856 ♪ E is even more than Anyone that you adore ♪ 28 00:02:21,939 --> 00:02:28,487 ♪ And love is all That I can give to you ♪ 29 00:02:29,113 --> 00:02:34,702 ♪ Love is more than Just a game for two ♪ 30 00:02:35,953 --> 00:02:39,164 ♪ Two in love can make it ♪ 31 00:02:40,916 --> 00:02:42,418 [drill whirring] 32 00:02:42,501 --> 00:02:47,298 ♪ Love was made For me and you ♪ 33 00:02:47,381 --> 00:02:48,716 -Hoy! -[clicking] 34 00:02:48,799 --> 00:02:49,842 Oh! Oh! 35 00:02:53,220 --> 00:02:55,055 Oh! Hey! 36 00:02:55,139 --> 00:02:57,182 Oh, I almost shoot you! 37 00:02:57,266 --> 00:02:59,351 I thought you're a pirate but you're just a guy. 38 00:02:59,435 --> 00:03:01,937 -[guard laughing] -[grunts] 39 00:03:02,021 --> 00:03:05,357 [sighs] Ah, this is for your bride, huh? 40 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:08,360 {\an8}[Tom] Yeah, trying to surprise her. 41 00:03:08,444 --> 00:03:10,863 {\an8}I saw something just like it on Etsy, 42 00:03:10,946 --> 00:03:14,366 {\an8}and it looked perfect, but now I'm not so sure. 43 00:03:15,034 --> 00:03:18,162 Now, I wanna be romantic but not too corny. 44 00:03:18,245 --> 00:03:20,080 There's a really fine line between the two. 45 00:03:21,707 --> 00:03:23,500 Aren't you supposed to be over there? 46 00:03:24,501 --> 00:03:26,754 Your rehearsal party. 47 00:03:26,837 --> 00:03:27,922 Oh, my God! 48 00:03:28,297 --> 00:03:31,550 I need you to talk to your father's yoga teacher. 49 00:03:31,634 --> 00:03:33,594 -Girlfriend? -Yeah, whatever. 50 00:03:33,677 --> 00:03:35,554 She keeps smiling at me. 51 00:03:35,638 --> 00:03:38,599 Can you tell her to stop smiling at me? 52 00:03:38,682 --> 00:03:39,683 Yes, Mom. 53 00:03:39,767 --> 00:03:42,144 I will tell Dad's girlfriend to stop smiling at you. 54 00:03:42,227 --> 00:03:43,687 That won't cause any issues. 55 00:03:43,771 --> 00:03:46,565 Also, I cannot sit at a table with Tom's mother. 56 00:03:46,649 --> 00:03:51,236 On the boat here, she tried to start a sing-along to South Pacific. 57 00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:53,113 She's excited. Okay? 58 00:03:53,197 --> 00:03:55,199 She's never been out of the country before. 59 00:03:55,282 --> 00:03:56,951 What kind of a grown woman has never left the country? 60 00:03:57,034 --> 00:03:58,786 Please, Mom, for two days, can you just get along with... 61 00:03:58,869 --> 00:04:00,204 Carol! 62 00:04:00,287 --> 00:04:02,998 ♪ I'm gonna wash that man Right outta my hair ♪ 63 00:04:03,082 --> 00:04:06,460 ♪ I'm gonna wash that man Right outta my hair ♪ 64 00:04:06,543 --> 00:04:09,338 ♪ And send him on his way ♪ 65 00:04:09,421 --> 00:04:11,131 [both laughing] 66 00:04:12,257 --> 00:04:13,592 I've been looking forward to this moment 67 00:04:13,676 --> 00:04:16,136 ever since baby Tommy was cut out of my abdomen. 68 00:04:16,220 --> 00:04:17,805 -[laughs forcefully] -Oh, my God, 69 00:04:17,888 --> 00:04:19,974 I have never been on a private island before. 70 00:04:20,057 --> 00:04:22,685 I've never been even on an island before. 71 00:04:22,768 --> 00:04:24,061 Actually, you know what? That's not true. 72 00:04:24,144 --> 00:04:26,438 I went with the Heibermans. We went to Mackinac, you know, 73 00:04:26,522 --> 00:04:28,190 before they moved to Bloomington. 74 00:04:28,941 --> 00:04:30,776 Have you ever been to Mackinac, Renata? 75 00:04:30,859 --> 00:04:33,904 I don't know what that is or most of the words you just said. 76 00:04:33,988 --> 00:04:35,990 [Carol] Wouldn't she just love it, Larry? 77 00:04:36,073 --> 00:04:37,408 Oh. Hi, Darcy. 78 00:04:37,491 --> 00:04:38,492 Hey, Larry. 79 00:04:38,575 --> 00:04:40,202 I didn't see you there. [laughs] 80 00:04:40,285 --> 00:04:41,787 -Hi. -[Larry] Hi, Renata. 81 00:04:41,870 --> 00:04:43,372 [Carol] Guess what? We got you a gift. 82 00:04:43,455 --> 00:04:45,165 -Oh, you didn't have to. -[Carol] Yes, we did. 83 00:04:45,249 --> 00:04:46,959 It's the biggest day of our lives tomorrow. 84 00:04:47,042 --> 00:04:48,043 What are you talking about? 85 00:04:48,127 --> 00:04:50,379 -Come on, open it. -Okay. [chuckles] 86 00:04:51,755 --> 00:04:53,841 -Larry, she's opening. -I get... Oh. 87 00:04:53,924 --> 00:04:55,175 Ah-uh-huh. 88 00:04:55,259 --> 00:04:57,302 Oh. Someone just left that in the bathroom. 89 00:05:00,139 --> 00:05:01,974 [Tom] Oh, you're a lifesaver, Margy. 90 00:05:02,057 --> 00:05:03,434 I cannot believe I'm late for this. 91 00:05:03,517 --> 00:05:04,810 The guests are already mingling, 92 00:05:04,893 --> 00:05:07,938 and your Darcy is talking to both the mothers. 93 00:05:10,315 --> 00:05:12,484 Oh, no. Go. Go, go, go, go, go, go. 94 00:05:13,902 --> 00:05:15,112 [Darcy] Oh! 95 00:05:15,821 --> 00:05:18,365 [Renata] You got my daughter rusty knives? 96 00:05:18,449 --> 00:05:20,576 It's your "something borrowed." 97 00:05:20,659 --> 00:05:23,120 Everyone in our family uses them on their wedding day. 98 00:05:23,203 --> 00:05:25,414 Brings you a lifetime of good luck. 99 00:05:25,497 --> 00:05:26,623 Except for Uncle Greg 100 00:05:26,707 --> 00:05:29,418 who ended up getting decapitated on that forklift. 101 00:05:29,501 --> 00:05:31,253 But that's not the knife's fault. 102 00:05:31,336 --> 00:05:32,588 [man] Darcy! 103 00:05:32,671 --> 00:05:34,089 Dad! 104 00:05:34,673 --> 00:05:36,508 [praises in Spanish] 105 00:05:36,592 --> 00:05:38,218 -Gracias. -[both] Mm. 106 00:05:38,302 --> 00:05:40,429 -[Carol laughing] -Carol, you look lovely. 107 00:05:40,512 --> 00:05:42,431 [kissing] Mm. Mm. 108 00:05:43,098 --> 00:05:44,224 Larry, hello, sir. 109 00:05:44,308 --> 00:05:45,517 -[Larry] Hey! -I'm gonna kiss you too. 110 00:05:45,601 --> 00:05:47,102 -Oh. -Mm. 111 00:05:47,186 --> 00:05:49,104 -Sorry. Done? -Yeah, okay. 112 00:05:50,773 --> 00:05:52,191 Renata. 113 00:05:52,775 --> 00:05:54,026 Roberto. 114 00:05:55,319 --> 00:05:57,863 I love that you two are still friends. 115 00:05:58,530 --> 00:05:59,740 -Peekaboo! [chuckles] -Oh. 116 00:05:59,823 --> 00:06:01,116 Hi! 117 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:03,077 [both] Mwah. Mwah. 118 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:05,245 Mm! 119 00:06:05,704 --> 00:06:09,541 Oh, Darcy, I am so honored to bear witness 120 00:06:09,625 --> 00:06:12,920 to this sacred observance of rebirth and devotion. 121 00:06:14,004 --> 00:06:16,632 -Same. -Thank you. [chuckles] 122 00:06:18,050 --> 00:06:19,718 [gasps] Renata. 123 00:06:19,802 --> 00:06:21,929 [dramatic music plays] 124 00:06:23,514 --> 00:06:26,100 I need to go to the ladies' room. 125 00:06:26,183 --> 00:06:27,601 [Carol] Hey, me too. 126 00:06:27,684 --> 00:06:30,729 When I'm in formal wear, I like to pee standing up. How about you? 127 00:06:32,689 --> 00:06:34,024 -Sorry. -That's okay. 128 00:06:34,108 --> 00:06:35,275 Thank you, Margy. 129 00:06:38,028 --> 00:06:39,029 Oh, hey. 130 00:06:41,865 --> 00:06:43,534 -Hey. -[Tom] How are you? 131 00:06:43,617 --> 00:06:44,993 [Darcy sighs] 132 00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:47,788 -Oh. -[whispers] Oh, my God. 133 00:06:47,871 --> 00:06:49,039 -That's for you. -Thanks. 134 00:06:49,456 --> 00:06:50,457 Big papi. 135 00:06:50,541 --> 00:06:52,459 -My man. Mwah. -[Robert grunts] 136 00:06:52,543 --> 00:06:54,962 -This... I just... -Nice to see you, Dad. 137 00:06:55,045 --> 00:06:57,131 -Señor. -Let's just, uh, stick 138 00:06:57,214 --> 00:06:58,549 -with "Robert" for a little while. -[Harriett chuckles] 139 00:06:58,632 --> 00:06:59,967 -Right. Robert. -[Harriett] Tom, I heard 140 00:07:00,050 --> 00:07:02,136 you were the one who found this incredible resort. 141 00:07:02,219 --> 00:07:04,096 -Yeah. I did. -Yes. 142 00:07:04,179 --> 00:07:07,432 I actually study bioresonance, and this place is 143 00:07:07,516 --> 00:07:09,017 teeming with energetic vibrations. 144 00:07:09,101 --> 00:07:11,019 -[Darcy] Mm. -[Robert] It's just like 145 00:07:11,103 --> 00:07:12,980 -our room teeming with bugs. -[both laugh] 146 00:07:13,063 --> 00:07:17,359 The, uh, Four Seasons would've been nice, but you didn't want my help, so... 147 00:07:17,442 --> 00:07:18,443 Some things are more important 148 00:07:18,527 --> 00:07:19,570 -than money, Dad. -Yeah. 149 00:07:19,653 --> 00:07:21,238 That's debatable. [chuckles] 150 00:07:21,655 --> 00:07:23,073 Well, I need another drink. 151 00:07:23,157 --> 00:07:24,366 -Yeah. -[speaks Spanish] 152 00:07:24,449 --> 00:07:26,160 No, I'm good. Gracias. 153 00:07:26,243 --> 00:07:27,494 [Robert] Okay, well... 154 00:07:28,328 --> 00:07:29,371 I'm fine. 155 00:07:30,372 --> 00:07:32,916 [sighs] Is he ever gonna like me? 156 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:36,128 Yes, if you just chill out and start acting like yourself. 157 00:07:37,462 --> 00:07:39,131 [whispers] God, our families are a lot. 158 00:07:39,590 --> 00:07:41,550 -What do you mean? -And where have you been? 159 00:07:41,633 --> 00:07:43,135 I was just finishing up a little project. 160 00:07:43,218 --> 00:07:44,219 What'd I miss? 161 00:07:44,303 --> 00:07:46,680 Oh, well, your mom gave me cursed knives. 162 00:07:46,763 --> 00:07:49,308 And then my mom almost yelled at my dad's girlfriend for smiling. 163 00:07:49,391 --> 00:07:50,642 -Oh. -Oh, also, 164 00:07:50,726 --> 00:07:53,562 your cousin, Amy, asked where she could charge her vibrator. 165 00:07:53,645 --> 00:07:55,564 Oh, so, Cousin Amy came? 166 00:07:55,647 --> 00:07:56,899 She will soon. 167 00:07:56,982 --> 00:07:59,109 -[laughs] -Um, what are you wearing? 168 00:07:59,193 --> 00:08:00,277 Oh, it's, uh... 169 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:01,612 Why is your hair all wet? 170 00:08:01,695 --> 00:08:03,113 Oh, I... I just... I... 171 00:08:03,197 --> 00:08:05,532 You know, I went for a little moonlight swim. 172 00:08:05,991 --> 00:08:07,242 You fell in the water, didn't you? 173 00:08:07,326 --> 00:08:09,203 Yeah, I fell in the water. [laughing] 174 00:08:11,580 --> 00:08:13,790 You know, it's kinda cute how bad you are at lying. 175 00:08:18,670 --> 00:08:21,256 Just... Just promise me... 176 00:08:22,382 --> 00:08:25,260 Promise me, you won't let go of my hand for the rest of the night, okay? 177 00:08:25,344 --> 00:08:26,470 I promise. 178 00:08:26,553 --> 00:08:28,680 ["Pony" by Ginuwine plays on speakers] 179 00:08:28,764 --> 00:08:29,848 Ace. 180 00:08:30,766 --> 00:08:33,060 Ace just put on the honeymoon playlist. I need to change it. 181 00:08:33,143 --> 00:08:35,187 Well, is "need" the right word? 182 00:08:35,270 --> 00:08:36,730 -Dad, please. -[Larry] Oh, yeah. 183 00:08:38,315 --> 00:08:39,316 [song stops playing] 184 00:08:39,399 --> 00:08:40,859 Tommy, Tommy, I need you for, like, five minutes. 185 00:08:40,943 --> 00:08:42,110 -What? No, no, no, no. -It's an emergency. 186 00:08:42,194 --> 00:08:43,612 I've been working on my best-man speech, right, 187 00:08:43,695 --> 00:08:45,113 and it is going really well. 188 00:08:45,822 --> 00:08:47,532 -Hi. -Hey. 189 00:08:48,075 --> 00:08:50,452 -[imperceptible] -[music plays on speakers] 190 00:08:50,953 --> 00:08:53,330 Dad's girlfriend just asked me what my love language is. 191 00:08:54,248 --> 00:08:55,457 She sucks. 192 00:08:55,874 --> 00:08:57,626 Happiest I've seen you in 20 years. 193 00:08:57,709 --> 00:08:58,794 -Thanks. -Cheers. 194 00:08:58,877 --> 00:09:01,213 [helicopter approaching] 195 00:09:06,969 --> 00:09:09,388 [upbeat hip-hop music playing] 196 00:09:09,846 --> 00:09:10,847 [Jamie gasps] 197 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:13,100 Dad invited your ex? 198 00:09:19,147 --> 00:09:21,525 God! How does he just keep getting hotter? 199 00:09:21,608 --> 00:09:24,111 Looks like he's leading a porn safari. 200 00:09:24,569 --> 00:09:26,071 I didn't wanna invite him, 201 00:09:26,154 --> 00:09:29,783 but Dad insisted because he said Bali was so close. 202 00:09:29,866 --> 00:09:31,326 Wow. Wow, wow, wow. wow, wow. 203 00:09:31,410 --> 00:09:33,537 Dad is a messy bitch who loves the drama. 204 00:09:33,620 --> 00:09:36,873 [Darcy] Well, he never RSVP'd, so we thought we were in the clear. 205 00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:42,212 I didn't think he'd actually come. You know, he never RSVP'd. 206 00:09:42,296 --> 00:09:45,966 No, that's a very, very cool move. I'm really excited to meet him. 207 00:09:46,883 --> 00:09:48,552 Oops, looks like he was in a rush 208 00:09:48,635 --> 00:09:50,345 and forgot to button his shirt all the way up. 209 00:09:50,429 --> 00:09:51,513 Deedee. [exhales sharply] 210 00:09:51,596 --> 00:09:52,764 -Hey, man, how are you? -Hey. 211 00:09:52,848 --> 00:09:54,641 Hi, Sean! [laughs] 212 00:09:54,725 --> 00:09:57,728 [Sean grunts] I am so sorry that I'm late. 213 00:09:57,811 --> 00:09:59,563 Your dad needed me to go to Japan at the last minute, 214 00:09:59,646 --> 00:10:01,690 and then, you know, I had to charter a jet from Kyoto, 215 00:10:01,773 --> 00:10:03,775 -just like a whole thing. -No, it's okay. We just... 216 00:10:03,859 --> 00:10:05,277 You know, we didn't know you were coming. 217 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,571 [Sean] Your dad and I wanted to surprise you. 218 00:10:07,654 --> 00:10:09,531 Look, babe, you know I wasn't gonna miss your wedding 219 00:10:09,614 --> 00:10:12,075 for anything in this world, right? 220 00:10:12,159 --> 00:10:13,952 -Sean, I want you to meet Tom. -Tom. 221 00:10:14,036 --> 00:10:15,704 -Oh, hey! [chuckles] -Tom! 222 00:10:15,787 --> 00:10:17,664 -Tom, Tom, Tom. -Sean. Yeah. 223 00:10:17,748 --> 00:10:18,790 -Nice to meet you. -Hey, Tom. 224 00:10:18,874 --> 00:10:22,044 Man, I have been dying to meet Deedee's ball player, man. 225 00:10:22,127 --> 00:10:23,337 What position you play? 226 00:10:23,420 --> 00:10:25,172 -I'm a... Well, I... -He's a designated hitter. 227 00:10:25,255 --> 00:10:27,591 [Robert] Uh, unfortunately, they didn't pick up his contract, 228 00:10:27,674 --> 00:10:29,551 so, technically, he's unemployed, but... 229 00:10:30,260 --> 00:10:31,928 Cut from the minors at 40. 230 00:10:32,012 --> 00:10:34,723 That's a tough break, Tom. But if you stay positive, 231 00:10:34,806 --> 00:10:37,017 you could have a really great future in coaching. 232 00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:38,060 You know what I mean? 233 00:10:39,603 --> 00:10:40,604 Yeah. 234 00:10:41,188 --> 00:10:42,647 That is an excellent idea. 235 00:10:42,731 --> 00:10:43,857 -I think so. -Thank you. 236 00:10:43,940 --> 00:10:44,941 Yeah. 237 00:10:47,652 --> 00:10:49,071 Is it time for dinner? 238 00:10:49,154 --> 00:10:50,364 [applause] 239 00:10:50,447 --> 00:10:53,492 We are so very touched that you all made the trek out here. 240 00:10:53,575 --> 00:10:57,662 You know, we really wanted to pick a place that was convenient for none of you. 241 00:10:57,746 --> 00:10:59,331 [all laughing] 242 00:10:59,414 --> 00:11:00,916 You know what, I talk too much at the law firm. 243 00:11:00,999 --> 00:11:05,003 So I am going to hand it over to the man of the hour, 244 00:11:05,087 --> 00:11:07,422 the guy who made this whole weekend happen, 245 00:11:08,131 --> 00:11:09,633 my lovely Tom. 246 00:11:09,716 --> 00:11:12,344 [cheering and applauding] 247 00:11:14,096 --> 00:11:15,305 Thank you. 248 00:11:15,680 --> 00:11:17,307 -[man] Do it! -[woman 1] You go, girl! 249 00:11:17,391 --> 00:11:18,392 [Tom] Uh... 250 00:11:18,475 --> 00:11:20,060 -[woman 2] Yeah! -[whispers] You got this. 251 00:11:20,936 --> 00:11:21,937 -Right? -[laughter] 252 00:11:22,020 --> 00:11:23,021 I can just wing this, right? 253 00:11:23,105 --> 00:11:26,858 Darcy talked a lot about, uh, her time in the Peace Corps in Bali, 254 00:11:26,942 --> 00:11:28,485 and I thought, you know, 255 00:11:28,568 --> 00:11:30,112 how cool would it be if we got married there. 256 00:11:30,195 --> 00:11:34,324 And then, I realized that Bali was un-Bali-vably expensive. 257 00:11:34,408 --> 00:11:36,576 [scattered laughter] 258 00:11:36,660 --> 00:11:38,370 I think the Philippines are better. 259 00:11:38,453 --> 00:11:39,704 -[guests clap] -Right, Ace? 260 00:11:40,497 --> 00:11:42,374 Ace agrees. Next. 261 00:11:43,417 --> 00:11:45,252 -[woman] Aw! -[guests exclaim] 262 00:11:45,335 --> 00:11:47,546 I know a lot of you were there to witness my proposal. 263 00:11:47,629 --> 00:11:49,840 The shock and surprise. Priceless. 264 00:11:50,382 --> 00:11:52,968 Anyway, Mom and Dad, I just wanna say thank you. 265 00:11:53,051 --> 00:11:55,637 Your commitment is something that we can only aspire to. 266 00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:57,848 -Oh, my God. -[Tom] Robert, Renata, 267 00:11:58,849 --> 00:12:01,768 we hope our marriage is nothing like yours. [laughing] 268 00:12:04,271 --> 00:12:05,647 Pivot, baby. [whispers] Pivot. 269 00:12:05,730 --> 00:12:09,109 I mean, that's not a... a character judgment, by any means. 270 00:12:09,192 --> 00:12:11,903 I mean, 50% of marriages end in divorce, right? 271 00:12:11,987 --> 00:12:13,447 -[mic feedback] -Ha! Wonderful. 272 00:12:13,530 --> 00:12:14,906 [chuckling] Cheers, everybody. 273 00:12:14,990 --> 00:12:16,366 -Cheers, cheers, cheers. -Cheers. 274 00:12:16,450 --> 00:12:17,617 [Tom clears throat] 275 00:12:17,701 --> 00:12:18,994 [jazz music playing] 276 00:12:19,077 --> 00:12:20,370 Oh, my God. That did not go well. 277 00:12:20,454 --> 00:12:22,164 No, that was awesome. 278 00:12:22,247 --> 00:12:24,166 -[glass clinking] -[music stops] 279 00:12:24,249 --> 00:12:27,836 So Deedee and I met in the Peace Corps in Bali. 280 00:12:27,919 --> 00:12:31,590 And one day, we had to run these medical supplies to this village. 281 00:12:32,007 --> 00:12:34,384 I decided to teach her how to drive the boat, 282 00:12:34,468 --> 00:12:36,219 so I could sleep and she could do all the work. 283 00:12:36,303 --> 00:12:37,762 [all laughing] 284 00:12:37,846 --> 00:12:38,930 [Tom chuckles dryly] 285 00:12:39,014 --> 00:12:41,391 The first time our girl gets behind the wheel, 286 00:12:41,475 --> 00:12:44,436 she gets a damn speeding ticket from the coast guard. 287 00:12:44,519 --> 00:12:45,687 [all laughing] 288 00:12:45,770 --> 00:12:48,273 Right? Deedee doesn't do anything half-assed. 289 00:12:48,356 --> 00:12:50,066 She sees what she wants, 290 00:12:50,901 --> 00:12:53,487 she goes after it, and she doesn't settle for less. 291 00:12:53,570 --> 00:12:54,571 [Tom] It's true, it's true. 292 00:12:54,654 --> 00:12:56,114 [Sean] So, as some of you may know, 293 00:12:56,198 --> 00:12:59,493 Deedee and I were, 100 years ago, were engaged. 294 00:13:00,410 --> 00:13:01,786 But she called it off. 295 00:13:01,870 --> 00:13:03,622 [guests exclaim sadly] 296 00:13:03,705 --> 00:13:05,582 No. No, no, no, no. 297 00:13:05,665 --> 00:13:07,167 She was waiting for Tom. 298 00:13:08,210 --> 00:13:12,797 And that guy right there has gotta be a one-in-a-million supernova 299 00:13:12,881 --> 00:13:14,633 to snag that beautiful soul. 300 00:13:14,716 --> 00:13:16,134 -Thanks. -[all applauding] 301 00:13:16,218 --> 00:13:18,929 -Thanks, Sean. -So, in conclusion, 302 00:13:19,012 --> 00:13:20,931 I just wanna say one thing to you, Deedee. 303 00:13:22,015 --> 00:13:23,308 Katuk kak ci. 304 00:13:23,391 --> 00:13:24,976 [laughing] 305 00:13:25,393 --> 00:13:27,729 [all applauding and cheering] 306 00:13:29,064 --> 00:13:30,690 What's... Katuk kak what? 307 00:13:30,774 --> 00:13:32,776 Oh, God. Um, it's hard to explain. 308 00:13:32,859 --> 00:13:35,111 It actually means, um, 309 00:13:35,195 --> 00:13:37,739 "Fuck your grandpa." [chuckles] It's just... 310 00:13:37,822 --> 00:13:39,324 Well, that's not that hard to explain. 311 00:13:39,407 --> 00:13:42,202 Yeah, well, I don't know. Just, in Balinese, it's super offensive. 312 00:13:42,285 --> 00:13:44,579 Yeah, well, it's offensive everywhere, no? 313 00:13:44,663 --> 00:13:47,499 -Yeah. I mean... It just... -"Fuck your grandpa!" 314 00:13:47,582 --> 00:13:49,584 -It just made us laugh. -It is funny. 315 00:13:49,668 --> 00:13:51,920 -[glass clinks] -[woman] Hi, everybody. 316 00:13:52,003 --> 00:13:54,047 I'm Tom's baby sister, Jeannie. 317 00:13:54,130 --> 00:13:55,966 -Yeah, Jeannie! -Hey, Jeannie! 318 00:13:56,049 --> 00:13:58,510 Wow, Sean's speech, wasn't it somethin'? 319 00:13:58,593 --> 00:14:00,762 [cheering and applauding] 320 00:14:01,596 --> 00:14:03,098 [spray can hissing] 321 00:14:06,601 --> 00:14:07,602 [Darcy] Honey? 322 00:14:09,312 --> 00:14:13,733 Maybe we should just, you know, call it a night. 323 00:14:14,192 --> 00:14:15,443 [Tom] No, babe, you go ahead. 324 00:14:15,527 --> 00:14:18,738 I gotta finish these centerpieces and rearrange the seating chart 325 00:14:18,822 --> 00:14:20,949 now that Sean decided to show up. 326 00:14:23,535 --> 00:14:25,161 -[grunts] -Tom! 327 00:14:26,204 --> 00:14:27,205 Tom! 328 00:14:29,457 --> 00:14:31,167 [whispers] Let's have sex. 329 00:14:34,337 --> 00:14:36,673 Yes. Yes. 330 00:14:36,756 --> 00:14:38,842 Just... Just... Just... Just gimme... Just... 331 00:14:38,925 --> 00:14:40,927 I just have to finish these pineapples real quick. 332 00:14:43,179 --> 00:14:44,556 Okay. Um... 333 00:14:45,223 --> 00:14:52,188 But do you really have to finish pineapples right now? 334 00:14:56,651 --> 00:14:59,738 Oh, my God. I love you in a T-shirt and no pants. 335 00:14:59,821 --> 00:15:00,822 [inhales sharply] 336 00:15:00,905 --> 00:15:03,241 I'm just gonna reach over here, 337 00:15:03,325 --> 00:15:06,620 this high shelf, so I can get something to read. 338 00:15:06,703 --> 00:15:10,165 Why is it so sexy when you can't reach high shelves? 339 00:15:12,876 --> 00:15:15,337 -So, um... -[grunting softly] 340 00:15:15,420 --> 00:15:16,880 I'm sorry, miss, but it was... 341 00:15:17,672 --> 00:15:18,923 -It's this one here? -No, no, no. 342 00:15:19,007 --> 00:15:20,133 It's the one over there. 343 00:15:20,216 --> 00:15:21,551 -Sir, please. -Oh, this one. 344 00:15:21,635 --> 00:15:22,802 -This one. -Yes. 345 00:15:23,887 --> 00:15:25,263 -That? -Thank you, sir. 346 00:15:25,347 --> 00:15:27,349 Okay. Glad I could help. 347 00:15:31,811 --> 00:15:33,647 [Darcy giggling] 348 00:15:41,863 --> 00:15:43,198 I miss you. 349 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:46,701 It's been a while, huh? 350 00:15:47,452 --> 00:15:48,662 I know. 351 00:15:49,663 --> 00:15:50,872 I miss you. 352 00:15:57,587 --> 00:15:58,838 [Tom moans] 353 00:16:00,465 --> 00:16:01,800 Could I ask you a question? 354 00:16:02,342 --> 00:16:03,885 Is it a sexy question? 355 00:16:05,345 --> 00:16:06,346 Um... 356 00:16:06,846 --> 00:16:10,392 Just wondering why you called off the engagement with Sean again. 357 00:16:11,768 --> 00:16:14,187 That is so not sexy. [chuckles] 358 00:16:15,146 --> 00:16:16,690 I... I told you this. 359 00:16:17,232 --> 00:16:18,692 We were young, we were in Bali, 360 00:16:18,775 --> 00:16:21,277 and then one day, I woke up and it just didn't feel right. 361 00:16:22,529 --> 00:16:24,072 -Okay? -Okay. 362 00:16:26,783 --> 00:16:28,618 [Tom moaning] 363 00:16:29,202 --> 00:16:31,204 But you said yes. 364 00:16:32,205 --> 00:16:34,082 You know, what changed your mind? 365 00:16:34,165 --> 00:16:35,792 [Darcy sighs] 366 00:16:35,875 --> 00:16:37,585 [chuckling] I don't know. 367 00:16:38,545 --> 00:16:41,089 Uh, he... he started working with my dad, 368 00:16:41,172 --> 00:16:45,677 he changed, and all he cared about was status and money. 369 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,929 [chuckles] Anyway, why do you want to talk about my ex 370 00:16:48,012 --> 00:16:49,639 the night before our wedding? 371 00:16:50,306 --> 00:16:52,892 I don't know. Maybe because you invited him to our wedding? 372 00:16:52,976 --> 00:16:54,477 Remember, I didn't. 373 00:16:54,561 --> 00:16:57,605 My dad asked me to invite him. What was I supposed to say? 374 00:16:57,689 --> 00:16:59,023 I don't know. Uh, no? 375 00:16:59,107 --> 00:17:01,443 If you remember correctly, I didn't wanna invite anyone. 376 00:17:01,526 --> 00:17:03,945 -I wanted to elope. -[sighs] 377 00:17:04,028 --> 00:17:06,906 The only reason I agreed to a traditional wedding 378 00:17:06,990 --> 00:17:09,909 was because you said that we'd have moments alone. 379 00:17:09,993 --> 00:17:10,994 [knock on door] 380 00:17:11,077 --> 00:17:13,204 Hey, hello. It's Carol. 381 00:17:14,330 --> 00:17:16,750 Hi. Hello. 382 00:17:17,292 --> 00:17:19,127 Your future mother-in-law, Carol. 383 00:17:19,210 --> 00:17:21,337 [chuckles] Yep, I know your name, Carol. 384 00:17:21,421 --> 00:17:24,466 I brought some of the extras for the welcome bags 385 00:17:24,549 --> 00:17:26,843 in case you want to make one for Sean. 386 00:17:26,926 --> 00:17:28,344 [Tom] Oh! Oh. 387 00:17:28,678 --> 00:17:29,888 Great. Thanks. 388 00:17:30,597 --> 00:17:31,848 All right, thanks. 389 00:17:31,931 --> 00:17:34,517 Tommy, she's not wearing any pants. 390 00:17:35,477 --> 00:17:37,187 -[gifts clatter] -I just want to ask, 391 00:17:37,270 --> 00:17:39,105 and... and I hope it's okay. 392 00:17:39,189 --> 00:17:40,648 Is that genetics, 393 00:17:41,733 --> 00:17:44,277 or is it, like, Pilates or something? 394 00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:45,445 Mom, now is not the time for this. 395 00:17:45,528 --> 00:17:47,947 [Carol] Yes, all right. But, you know, we need to get you outta here. 396 00:17:48,031 --> 00:17:50,825 It's the night before your wedding, and you can't spend the night together. 397 00:17:50,909 --> 00:17:52,952 -No, Ma, it's just... -You can't. It's bad luck. 398 00:17:53,036 --> 00:17:55,872 You know, his cousin, Jenna, she spent the night with her husband. 399 00:17:55,955 --> 00:18:00,043 Lo and behold, she got Lyme disease, and now she can't wear sandals. 400 00:18:02,212 --> 00:18:03,713 It's a tradition. 401 00:18:06,299 --> 00:18:07,926 [snoring softly] 402 00:18:16,184 --> 00:18:18,228 [upbeat music playing] 403 00:18:32,158 --> 00:18:33,952 [indistinct chatter and laughter] 404 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:48,758 [bird squawking] 405 00:18:48,842 --> 00:18:51,052 [suspenseful music playing] 406 00:19:05,942 --> 00:19:08,945 [pirate leader] Oh. Look at the happy couple. 407 00:19:09,696 --> 00:19:11,322 [man laughs wickedly] 408 00:19:14,284 --> 00:19:15,660 Where have you been? 409 00:19:16,494 --> 00:19:17,912 You were supposed to do my hair. 410 00:19:18,371 --> 00:19:20,290 Now birds are gonna lay eggs in it. 411 00:19:20,373 --> 00:19:22,250 I know. I overslept. I'm sorry. 412 00:19:22,333 --> 00:19:23,585 [chuckles dryly] 413 00:19:23,668 --> 00:19:25,587 Kind of, sort of, slept with Ricky last night. 414 00:19:26,421 --> 00:19:28,298 -Ricky? -Yes. I'm sorry. 415 00:19:28,381 --> 00:19:30,842 I just, I was in the mood for something, you know, that wasn't quite right. 416 00:19:30,925 --> 00:19:32,844 Like ordering a hamburger at a sushi bar or something. 417 00:19:33,595 --> 00:19:35,138 I'm just gonna avoid him today. It's fine. 418 00:19:35,221 --> 00:19:36,681 He's Tom's best man. 419 00:19:36,764 --> 00:19:38,600 You two have to walk down the aisle together. 420 00:19:39,434 --> 00:19:42,061 I am very good at ignoring people that I'm standing next to. 421 00:19:42,145 --> 00:19:43,605 -No kidding. -Ready? 422 00:19:43,688 --> 00:19:45,899 I can't believe you agreed to wear Carol's wedding dress. 423 00:19:46,441 --> 00:19:47,525 -[splutters] -Okay. 424 00:19:47,984 --> 00:19:50,486 -[Jamie blowing] -Okay, okay. 425 00:19:50,570 --> 00:19:52,572 You look beautiful, no matter what. 426 00:19:54,574 --> 00:19:55,617 She's ready! 427 00:19:55,700 --> 00:19:56,659 [Jeannie] Hey, should we all do 428 00:19:56,743 --> 00:19:57,911 -a round of tequila shots? -[sighs] 429 00:19:57,994 --> 00:20:01,497 [Carol] Well, I Scotchgarded the dress, so try not to inhale the chemicals. 430 00:20:01,581 --> 00:20:03,416 [Jamie] Where's the veil? Where's the veil? 431 00:20:03,499 --> 00:20:04,751 [huffs] Okay. 432 00:20:04,834 --> 00:20:06,044 [Jamie] Well, yes, tequila. 433 00:20:06,127 --> 00:20:07,587 [Jeannie] Unless we get the bottle, I'm not set. 434 00:20:07,670 --> 00:20:08,838 [Jamie] No, no tequila. 435 00:20:08,922 --> 00:20:10,173 Oh! 436 00:20:10,256 --> 00:20:12,675 The prettiest of them all. 437 00:20:12,759 --> 00:20:15,136 You look so much better than the rest of us. 438 00:20:15,637 --> 00:20:17,972 This dress is just wonderful. 439 00:20:18,056 --> 00:20:19,557 I wore it for my wedding, 440 00:20:19,641 --> 00:20:23,811 Jeannie wore it for hers, and now you're gonna wear it for yours. 441 00:20:23,895 --> 00:20:25,188 Oh, my gosh. 442 00:20:25,730 --> 00:20:27,231 Look at you. 443 00:20:28,524 --> 00:20:31,027 Oh, it's white coral made out of tissue. 444 00:20:31,110 --> 00:20:32,111 Um... 445 00:20:33,404 --> 00:20:36,324 Something doesn't, you know, feel right. 446 00:20:36,407 --> 00:20:37,909 [Carol] Do you think if we blew-dried the veil, 447 00:20:37,992 --> 00:20:39,369 -it would be more fluffy? -Okay, so what I'm seeing is, 448 00:20:39,452 --> 00:20:40,536 I think that the left boob is actually slightly lower 449 00:20:40,620 --> 00:20:42,038 -than the right boob. -Like floof, floof, like that? 450 00:20:42,121 --> 00:20:45,625 Hey, something kinda magical happened with me last night. 451 00:20:45,708 --> 00:20:47,293 -Theoretically speaking... -[cell phone chiming] 452 00:20:47,377 --> 00:20:49,504 ...would it be weird or wonderful 453 00:20:49,587 --> 00:20:51,464 -if we married sisters? -[cell phone vibrates] 454 00:20:51,547 --> 00:20:52,799 Yeah, sure. 455 00:20:57,220 --> 00:20:59,055 [Ricky] Hey, psst, Larry. Tom's being boring. 456 00:20:59,138 --> 00:21:00,640 Come film me doing a backflip! 457 00:21:00,723 --> 00:21:02,266 [Larry] Oh, I... I don't think I should walk. 458 00:21:02,350 --> 00:21:03,393 [Ricky] All right. 459 00:21:05,019 --> 00:21:06,729 [guests chattering] 460 00:21:13,945 --> 00:21:15,905 [suspenseful music playing] 461 00:21:27,458 --> 00:21:28,584 It's time. 462 00:21:41,848 --> 00:21:42,890 Wow! 463 00:21:43,808 --> 00:21:45,476 [sighs] Look at you. 464 00:21:46,102 --> 00:21:48,062 [soft music playing] 465 00:21:53,818 --> 00:21:54,986 Okay. 466 00:21:55,987 --> 00:21:57,196 You wanted to talk. 467 00:21:58,281 --> 00:22:00,575 I know it's last minute. 468 00:22:01,868 --> 00:22:03,036 I just... 469 00:22:05,329 --> 00:22:07,707 I hated the way things ended last night, and... 470 00:22:08,416 --> 00:22:11,419 And I didn't want our wedding day to start off on a bad note. 471 00:22:13,921 --> 00:22:15,131 Oh, my God. 472 00:22:16,632 --> 00:22:17,842 [sighs in relief] 473 00:22:17,925 --> 00:22:19,761 God, I thought you were calling it off. 474 00:22:19,844 --> 00:22:21,345 [Tom chuckling] 475 00:22:21,429 --> 00:22:23,347 Calling off the wedding? [scoffs] 476 00:22:23,431 --> 00:22:24,599 -Why? -Uh, I don't know. 477 00:22:24,682 --> 00:22:27,643 I mean, this weekend hasn't exactly gone to plan. 478 00:22:27,727 --> 00:22:30,521 You and I have been arguing more in the last few months than we did 479 00:22:30,605 --> 00:22:32,190 our first four years together. 480 00:22:32,273 --> 00:22:34,150 [inhales deeply] I don't know. I guess I thought 481 00:22:34,233 --> 00:22:35,860 weddings were supposed to be fun. 482 00:22:37,070 --> 00:22:38,529 Oh. Okay. 483 00:22:38,613 --> 00:22:41,324 Well, I'm sorry I didn't make your wedding more fun for you. 484 00:22:41,407 --> 00:22:43,493 Well, no. That's... Darcy, that's not what... 485 00:22:45,578 --> 00:22:47,413 And it's not my wedding. It's our wedding. 486 00:22:48,372 --> 00:22:49,373 Hardly. 487 00:22:50,249 --> 00:22:51,417 [sighs] Yeah, Tom. 488 00:22:52,001 --> 00:22:54,837 You got so fixated on the wedding that you... 489 00:22:54,921 --> 00:22:56,547 you turned into a different person. 490 00:22:56,631 --> 00:22:58,633 I'm sorry. I just wanted everything to be perfect. 491 00:22:59,425 --> 00:23:00,968 Why is that so important to you? 492 00:23:01,052 --> 00:23:02,595 Why isn't it important to you? 493 00:23:02,678 --> 00:23:04,013 It's like you don't even care about the wedding. 494 00:23:04,597 --> 00:23:06,557 Well, I... Of course I care. 495 00:23:06,641 --> 00:23:07,767 Oh, yeah? 496 00:23:07,850 --> 00:23:10,019 You're the one that insisted that we pay for this wedding. 497 00:23:10,645 --> 00:23:11,771 Yet I'm the one that's bargaining 498 00:23:11,854 --> 00:23:13,981 with all the vendors and DIY-ing everything, 499 00:23:14,065 --> 00:23:16,692 and all you're saying is, "I don't know. It looks good," 500 00:23:16,776 --> 00:23:18,736 you know, "Sounds good, Tom. Whatever you want." 501 00:23:18,820 --> 00:23:22,281 I told you that I did not want a big traditional wedding. 502 00:23:22,365 --> 00:23:25,701 Okay? I'm not some blushing bride. I'm a grown woman. 503 00:23:25,785 --> 00:23:28,037 I don't want my daddy walking me down the aisle. 504 00:23:28,121 --> 00:23:30,123 I don't need a big princess dress, 505 00:23:30,206 --> 00:23:33,376 and I certainly don't need a wedding registry. 506 00:23:33,459 --> 00:23:36,087 I have my things already. I like my things. 507 00:23:36,170 --> 00:23:37,797 I wanted a Roomba. 508 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:39,841 [guests murmuring] 509 00:23:41,551 --> 00:23:42,844 Well, she's not up in the lobby. 510 00:23:42,927 --> 00:23:44,220 I can't get through on my phone. 511 00:23:44,303 --> 00:23:46,722 Oh, my God. They've fallen in a ditch. 512 00:23:46,806 --> 00:23:48,933 What? And how do you know that? 513 00:23:49,016 --> 00:23:50,017 [Carol] I don't know. 514 00:23:50,101 --> 00:23:52,353 I just have a sixth sense about these things. 515 00:23:52,436 --> 00:23:53,688 Ace and I will take a look around. 516 00:23:53,771 --> 00:23:55,648 Don't worry. We will find them. 517 00:23:55,731 --> 00:23:57,066 [Carol breathing heavily] 518 00:23:57,150 --> 00:23:59,152 -[screams] Check all ditches! -[Larry] God. 519 00:24:01,112 --> 00:24:05,241 I wanted it to just be you and me in the middle of the ocean. 520 00:24:05,324 --> 00:24:07,827 And for the 400th time, that would've killed my mother. 521 00:24:07,910 --> 00:24:09,537 Ugh. Right. 522 00:24:09,620 --> 00:24:11,205 And that's why I'm in your mother's dress 523 00:24:11,289 --> 00:24:13,875 with an extra 10 pounds of hair on my head. 524 00:24:14,709 --> 00:24:18,880 But the truth is, you have not listened to one thing I wanted since you proposed. 525 00:24:19,589 --> 00:24:22,592 Okay, well, Darcy, I'm listening. Enlighten me. 526 00:24:22,675 --> 00:24:25,094 What is it? What is it that you want? 527 00:24:25,511 --> 00:24:28,890 Tom, we've... We talked about this. 528 00:24:28,973 --> 00:24:33,352 I told you on our very first date, I didn't want a big wedding. 529 00:24:33,436 --> 00:24:34,478 Well, I thought you changed 530 00:24:34,562 --> 00:24:36,022 -your mind about that. -[sighs] 531 00:24:36,522 --> 00:24:38,357 Why did you even agree to do it then? 532 00:24:40,109 --> 00:24:42,904 Oh, I... I don't... I don't know! 533 00:24:42,987 --> 00:24:44,614 Okay? Because... 534 00:24:45,615 --> 00:24:48,451 Because I love you. Because I... I w... 535 00:24:48,534 --> 00:24:50,578 I wanted you to be happy. 536 00:24:51,037 --> 00:24:52,788 [pirate leader] Go! Come on, move! 537 00:24:52,872 --> 00:24:54,957 Everybody, move! Come on! 538 00:24:55,041 --> 00:24:56,584 -[people screaming] -Move along. 539 00:24:56,667 --> 00:24:59,212 Go outside, go outside right now. Come on. Come on. 540 00:25:00,421 --> 00:25:02,048 If you don't wanna go through with this, 541 00:25:02,965 --> 00:25:04,217 it's not too late. 542 00:25:04,842 --> 00:25:05,843 What? 543 00:25:08,429 --> 00:25:14,352 No. We brought everybody that we loved down to the Philippines for our wedding. 544 00:25:14,435 --> 00:25:16,437 I'm in this dress! We're doin' this! 545 00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:18,522 Oh, that was beautiful. Are those your vows? 546 00:25:21,442 --> 00:25:22,485 Oh, my God. 547 00:25:23,903 --> 00:25:26,322 You convinced yourself that I wanted to call off the wedding, 548 00:25:26,405 --> 00:25:27,657 and now you're making it happen. 549 00:25:27,740 --> 00:25:30,409 Oh, there you go. Lawyering yourself out of any real responsibility. 550 00:25:30,493 --> 00:25:31,535 [Darcy gasps] 551 00:25:31,619 --> 00:25:33,412 [intense music playing] 552 00:25:35,373 --> 00:25:37,500 [groans] You cut me with your ring! 553 00:25:40,253 --> 00:25:42,380 -Won't happen again. -[grunts] 554 00:25:47,635 --> 00:25:49,720 [intense music resumes] 555 00:25:49,804 --> 00:25:50,930 Great! 556 00:25:51,681 --> 00:25:53,266 [shouting] Why don't you go be with Sean? 557 00:25:53,766 --> 00:25:56,227 Maybe you guys could go bang some grandpas! 558 00:25:56,310 --> 00:25:58,771 [intense music continues] 559 00:26:05,778 --> 00:26:08,364 I don't know why. I have a bad feeling about this. 560 00:26:08,447 --> 00:26:09,949 [Larry] It's gonna be fine, honey. 561 00:26:10,032 --> 00:26:11,158 -[screams] -[all gasp] 562 00:26:11,242 --> 00:26:12,827 I think you might be overreacting. 563 00:26:12,910 --> 00:26:14,370 [screams] 564 00:26:14,453 --> 00:26:16,247 -[guests screaming] -[indistinct shouting] 565 00:26:16,330 --> 00:26:19,417 [pirate leader] Hold still! Get down, get down, get down! 566 00:26:19,500 --> 00:26:20,584 [all screaming] 567 00:26:23,170 --> 00:26:24,547 [whimpers] 568 00:26:25,298 --> 00:26:26,507 -[pirate 1] No running! -[gunshot] 569 00:26:26,590 --> 00:26:28,551 -[pirate leader] Everyone! -[pirate 1] Get down. 570 00:26:29,135 --> 00:26:31,762 [pirate leader] To the pool! Now! 571 00:26:31,846 --> 00:26:33,139 First rows, go! 572 00:26:33,222 --> 00:26:34,557 -Go, go, go! -[Carol exclaims] 573 00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:36,767 [pirate 1] Everyone, this way! This way! 574 00:26:36,851 --> 00:26:39,645 Come on! Come on! One line! Let's go! 575 00:26:42,106 --> 00:26:43,899 -[gunshots] -[indistinct shouting] 576 00:26:48,529 --> 00:26:49,530 [grunts] 577 00:26:52,992 --> 00:26:54,410 [frightened clamoring] 578 00:26:54,493 --> 00:26:55,786 Let's go! 579 00:26:57,663 --> 00:26:58,956 Darcy. 580 00:27:01,751 --> 00:27:03,878 -[pirate leader] Guys, go! -[pirate 1] Go, go, up there. 581 00:27:03,961 --> 00:27:06,297 [pirate leader] Up there! Up there! Go! Go to the end. 582 00:27:06,380 --> 00:27:08,049 -Go, go! -Everybody, walk! 583 00:27:08,132 --> 00:27:10,426 -[pirate leader] Keep going. -[pirate 1] Let's go. 584 00:27:10,509 --> 00:27:11,677 [pirate leader] Go! 585 00:27:11,761 --> 00:27:12,970 [guests screaming] 586 00:27:13,054 --> 00:27:14,513 [pirate leader] Keep moving! There you go. 587 00:27:14,597 --> 00:27:16,098 [pirate 2] Turn. Turn. Go! 588 00:27:16,182 --> 00:27:17,391 -[pirate leader] Line up. -[pirate 2] Keep moving. 589 00:27:17,475 --> 00:27:18,601 Line up, go! 590 00:27:18,684 --> 00:27:19,769 -[pirate leader] Now! -[Carol] No. 591 00:27:19,852 --> 00:27:21,896 [pirate leader] And into the pool. 592 00:27:21,979 --> 00:27:23,356 Now. Go! 593 00:27:23,439 --> 00:27:26,442 Go in. Faster, faster, faster. 594 00:27:26,525 --> 00:27:28,569 -[pirate 2] Get in the water. -[pirate leader] Let's go faster. 595 00:27:28,652 --> 00:27:31,322 -[pirate 2] Drop the phone. -But my phone will get ruined. 596 00:27:31,405 --> 00:27:32,656 I think that's the point, sweetie. Just drop it. 597 00:27:32,740 --> 00:27:33,866 Yeah, but I haven't backed it up in a while. 598 00:27:33,949 --> 00:27:35,534 -[Renata] Drop it! -Okay. Okay. 599 00:27:36,744 --> 00:27:38,496 [pirate leader] No need to be scared. 600 00:27:38,579 --> 00:27:41,999 As long as everybody follows directions, no one gets hurt. 601 00:27:42,875 --> 00:27:45,002 Raise your hand when you hear your name. 602 00:27:46,253 --> 00:27:47,463 Robert Rivera. 603 00:27:54,136 --> 00:27:56,347 Robert! Robert. 604 00:27:57,139 --> 00:27:58,432 They're calling you. 605 00:27:59,892 --> 00:28:01,268 Thanks a lot, Carol. 606 00:28:05,147 --> 00:28:07,316 -[pirate leader] Larry Fowler. -Present. 607 00:28:10,361 --> 00:28:11,946 I... I'm Carol, his wife. 608 00:28:12,029 --> 00:28:13,531 Just so you don't have to make two trips. 609 00:28:14,573 --> 00:28:16,700 Wait, wait. I'd like it in the center. 610 00:28:19,286 --> 00:28:21,455 Sean Hawkins. 611 00:28:22,039 --> 00:28:25,418 If you hurt anyone in this pool, you're gonna have to answer to me. 612 00:28:26,085 --> 00:28:29,046 [pirate leader] Is this the hero of the group? 613 00:28:29,130 --> 00:28:30,714 [all] Yes. 614 00:28:31,424 --> 00:28:33,134 No. Oh, my God. 615 00:28:33,217 --> 00:28:34,510 [women whimper] 616 00:28:35,261 --> 00:28:36,971 There is always one. 617 00:28:38,639 --> 00:28:39,640 All right. 618 00:28:50,818 --> 00:28:52,570 [pirate leader] Where is bride and groom? 619 00:28:53,154 --> 00:28:55,573 [pirate 1] She's there. Isn't she the bride? 620 00:28:55,656 --> 00:28:56,657 Oh. No. 621 00:28:56,740 --> 00:29:01,036 Amanda thought it was appropriate to wear white to a wedding. 622 00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:02,455 I didn't know that was a rule. 623 00:29:02,538 --> 00:29:03,873 Yes, you did. 624 00:29:03,956 --> 00:29:05,875 -You're a gaslighter. -[Jeannie] Yeah. 625 00:29:05,958 --> 00:29:07,543 You see, this is a problem. 626 00:29:08,294 --> 00:29:10,379 They could call police. And if police come, 627 00:29:11,338 --> 00:29:12,548 we kill everyone. 628 00:29:12,631 --> 00:29:14,133 -[guests gasping] -[woman] Oh, my God. 629 00:29:14,216 --> 00:29:17,303 Okay, um, I... I saw Tom headed towards the nature walk before the ceremony, 630 00:29:17,386 --> 00:29:20,556 and I noticed that his frequency levels were dangerously low. 631 00:29:20,639 --> 00:29:22,224 I think he's getting cold feet. 632 00:29:22,308 --> 00:29:23,601 Tommy has cold feet? 633 00:29:23,684 --> 00:29:26,228 Is this really what we should be worrying about at this point? 634 00:29:26,312 --> 00:29:29,523 I'm a mother. I can worry about a lot of things at the same time. 635 00:29:30,274 --> 00:29:31,525 Like Larry's mole. 636 00:29:31,609 --> 00:29:32,818 [Larry] Oh, it's fine, sweetie. 637 00:29:32,902 --> 00:29:34,445 -[Carol] It's getting bigger. -[pirate leader] Spread out. 638 00:29:34,528 --> 00:29:36,489 -[guns cocking] -Look for them. 639 00:29:42,119 --> 00:29:44,705 Hey, uh, I... I... I texted you this morning 640 00:29:44,788 --> 00:29:46,457 and I didn't hear anything back. 641 00:29:47,875 --> 00:29:49,418 Are you being serious right now? 642 00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:51,629 No. No. 643 00:29:51,712 --> 00:29:53,380 [panting] 644 00:29:53,464 --> 00:29:54,590 [Darcy screams] 645 00:29:54,673 --> 00:29:57,051 [gasps] Darcy! 646 00:29:57,134 --> 00:30:00,095 -[Darcy grunting] -[Tom] Darcy! Hey! 647 00:30:01,639 --> 00:30:03,516 -[groans] -No, no, no, no. Darcy. 648 00:30:03,599 --> 00:30:06,060 -Darcy, I'm coming in. -Fuck off, Tom! 649 00:30:06,143 --> 00:30:07,269 Oh, thank God. 650 00:30:07,728 --> 00:30:10,856 Listen, I know you're mad at me right now, but you have to let me in. 651 00:30:11,190 --> 00:30:13,234 Why would I be mad? I'm awesome. 652 00:30:13,317 --> 00:30:15,486 I'm on a tropical island, I'm having a liquid brunch, 653 00:30:15,569 --> 00:30:17,696 and I don't have to answer to anybody! 654 00:30:18,155 --> 00:30:20,115 [indistinct radio chatter] 655 00:30:20,199 --> 00:30:23,118 [gasps] Oh, my God, this is not happening. 656 00:30:23,536 --> 00:30:25,538 Oh, it is happening, buddy. 657 00:30:25,621 --> 00:30:29,208 Okay? And once I get this hair condo off my head, 658 00:30:29,291 --> 00:30:32,628 I'm gonna march down to that beach and tell everybody how you blew this up! 659 00:30:32,711 --> 00:30:33,837 Shh... shh! 660 00:30:33,921 --> 00:30:36,090 Are you seriously shushing me right now? 661 00:30:37,132 --> 00:30:38,300 What the fuck? 662 00:30:38,676 --> 00:30:39,677 [Tom grunts] 663 00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:43,681 Is that blood? 664 00:30:44,014 --> 00:30:46,058 There's no time for a blood freak-out right now. 665 00:30:46,141 --> 00:30:48,060 -Don't tell me... -[shushes] 666 00:30:48,143 --> 00:30:50,854 -[muffled groaning] -There are pirates outside, 667 00:30:50,938 --> 00:30:52,606 and they took everybody hostage. 668 00:30:52,690 --> 00:30:53,691 [muffled] What? 669 00:30:55,150 --> 00:30:56,569 [indistinct radio chatter] 670 00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:07,621 -[gunshots] -[gasps] 671 00:31:08,789 --> 00:31:09,790 [grunts] 672 00:31:10,499 --> 00:31:13,460 -We have to get help. -[Tom] No, no. No. No. 673 00:31:14,837 --> 00:31:16,964 -The phone is dead. -Oh, the Wi-Fi too. 674 00:31:17,047 --> 00:31:19,216 Marge said the cell service is better on the north side. 675 00:31:19,300 --> 00:31:21,135 Why did you pick an island with no cell service? 676 00:31:21,218 --> 00:31:23,012 Because I wanted people to be present and in the moment. 677 00:31:23,095 --> 00:31:24,888 -[gunshot] -[gasps] Jeez! 678 00:31:25,639 --> 00:31:28,434 I can't breathe. [gasps] I can't breathe! 679 00:31:28,517 --> 00:31:29,393 I know. Me neither. 680 00:31:29,476 --> 00:31:32,271 No. I... I really can't breathe. It's the shapewear. 681 00:31:32,354 --> 00:31:33,772 Please help me get out of this dress now. 682 00:31:35,190 --> 00:31:36,358 Now! 683 00:31:36,442 --> 00:31:37,568 Would you relax? 684 00:31:37,651 --> 00:31:39,111 [whispers] What did you just say to me? 685 00:31:39,194 --> 00:31:40,446 I said everything's gonna be okay. 686 00:31:40,529 --> 00:31:41,947 Dress is like a riddle. 687 00:31:42,031 --> 00:31:43,490 -[gunshots] -Oh! 688 00:31:43,574 --> 00:31:45,576 God, I'm gonna die in this dress! 689 00:31:46,994 --> 00:31:48,996 Oh, door latches from the inside. 690 00:31:49,079 --> 00:31:51,123 He's gonna know we're in here. [grunting] 691 00:31:51,206 --> 00:31:54,960 He's also gonna know we're in here when he comes in here and we're in here. 692 00:31:55,044 --> 00:31:56,378 He'll think we're in the shower. 693 00:31:56,462 --> 00:31:57,963 What... What? 694 00:31:58,047 --> 00:32:00,507 And come back at a better time? Leave a note? 695 00:32:00,591 --> 00:32:02,384 -[shower running] -All right. 696 00:32:02,468 --> 00:32:04,887 Okay, h... here's the plan. He comes in, he's gonna think we're in the shower, 697 00:32:04,970 --> 00:32:06,597 then I jump out and I trap him in the net. 698 00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:08,098 Oh, my God, that's an amazing plan. 699 00:32:08,182 --> 00:32:09,224 -Yes! -No! 700 00:32:09,308 --> 00:32:10,559 You're gonna throw a net over a pirate? 701 00:32:10,643 --> 00:32:11,810 Have you ever tried to get out of a net? 702 00:32:11,894 --> 00:32:13,145 It's very hard to get out of a net. 703 00:32:13,228 --> 00:32:14,855 Okay. How about... 704 00:32:14,938 --> 00:32:16,982 How about this? I spray him in the eyes. 705 00:32:17,066 --> 00:32:19,735 How is hairspray in the eyes better than a net over his head? 706 00:32:19,818 --> 00:32:21,945 Wait! Yes, that's actually... 707 00:32:22,029 --> 00:32:24,114 That's actually... You spray that. 708 00:32:24,198 --> 00:32:26,075 I'll light the match. It'll be like a flamethrower. 709 00:32:26,158 --> 00:32:27,409 -I mean, it won't work! -Why? 710 00:32:27,493 --> 00:32:29,036 -Too many steps. -It's two steps. 711 00:32:29,119 --> 00:32:31,789 It's two steps. Flamethrower, net. 712 00:32:31,872 --> 00:32:35,084 I pop out and I put the net over his head. I'll surprise him. 713 00:32:35,167 --> 00:32:37,294 No, Tom, because bullets shoot through nets! 714 00:32:37,378 --> 00:32:39,046 -Technically, yeah. -Technically? 715 00:32:39,129 --> 00:32:40,589 Technically, he won't be able to shoot straight 716 00:32:40,673 --> 00:32:42,966 because he'll be all fuckin' wrapped up in the net. 717 00:32:43,050 --> 00:32:45,469 I swear to God, if you say "net" one more time... 718 00:32:45,552 --> 00:32:46,887 -[gunshots] -[gasps] 719 00:32:48,430 --> 00:32:50,516 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 720 00:32:52,309 --> 00:32:53,394 [gunshot] 721 00:32:57,815 --> 00:32:59,733 [whispering] Psst. Flamethrower. 722 00:33:03,862 --> 00:33:05,698 [suspenseful music playing] 723 00:33:08,992 --> 00:33:10,661 [shower running] 724 00:33:15,666 --> 00:33:17,126 [whispering] I'm gonna fuck him up. 725 00:33:17,209 --> 00:33:18,335 I'm gonna fuck him up. 726 00:33:18,419 --> 00:33:19,920 [mouthing] 727 00:33:35,978 --> 00:33:37,187 [turns off shower] 728 00:33:37,271 --> 00:33:38,772 [screaming] 729 00:33:39,940 --> 00:33:42,025 [all screaming] 730 00:33:44,611 --> 00:33:45,904 [Darcy] Fuck! 731 00:33:45,988 --> 00:33:47,281 [pirate 2 panting] 732 00:33:48,490 --> 00:33:49,616 -[grunts] -[pirate 2] Ow! 733 00:33:49,700 --> 00:33:51,368 -Never mind! Never mind. -Why did you do that? 734 00:33:51,452 --> 00:33:54,121 -Never mind! -[both scream and grunt] 735 00:33:56,331 --> 00:33:59,543 -[groaning] You were right. -[panting] 736 00:33:59,626 --> 00:34:01,628 That hairspray was so much worse than the net. 737 00:34:02,796 --> 00:34:03,797 [Tom grunts] 738 00:34:05,674 --> 00:34:06,967 -[Darcy] Ow! -[pirate 2] Get up. 739 00:34:07,050 --> 00:34:08,093 [Darcy] Okay. 740 00:34:08,761 --> 00:34:10,471 [both grunt] 741 00:34:11,513 --> 00:34:13,056 -[Tom] Come on. -[Darcy] Don't strangle me. 742 00:34:13,140 --> 00:34:15,267 -[Tom] Turn your arm. -[pirate 2] I have them alive. 743 00:34:15,350 --> 00:34:16,477 Wait, wait. What? 744 00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:19,188 [pirate 2 on radio] Bungalow 15. Pick me up. 745 00:34:20,522 --> 00:34:21,815 [pirate leader] Go collect them. 746 00:34:22,858 --> 00:34:25,027 And then we can begin. 747 00:34:25,611 --> 00:34:27,321 [both grunting] 748 00:34:33,702 --> 00:34:34,995 You doing okay, Jamie? 749 00:34:37,247 --> 00:34:39,500 My stomach feels like it's gonna fall through my asshole. 750 00:34:39,583 --> 00:34:41,376 But otherwise, I'm chill. 751 00:34:42,252 --> 00:34:44,087 Listen, it's normal to feel scared. 752 00:34:44,171 --> 00:34:45,923 But I'm not gonna let anything happen to you 753 00:34:46,507 --> 00:34:48,926 or your family. Promise. 754 00:34:50,427 --> 00:34:51,720 [Jeannie] Hey, Sean? 755 00:34:52,262 --> 00:34:53,764 I am also feeling scared. 756 00:34:53,847 --> 00:34:55,766 Like the most scared I've ever been in my whole life. 757 00:34:55,849 --> 00:34:58,101 It's like I just watched The Ring, you know? 758 00:34:59,645 --> 00:35:01,897 [Harriett] Robbie, baby, I want you to practice the breathing exercise 759 00:35:01,980 --> 00:35:04,066 that we learned at Esalen, okay? 760 00:35:04,149 --> 00:35:06,860 I'm gonna hit a pressure point. Ready? And... 761 00:35:07,361 --> 00:35:08,362 [joints pop] 762 00:35:08,445 --> 00:35:10,405 -Breathe. Breathe. -[breathing sharply] 763 00:35:11,240 --> 00:35:12,282 From the diaphragm. 764 00:35:12,366 --> 00:35:14,409 -I think I'm gonna throw up now. -It's okay. You're doing fine. 765 00:35:14,493 --> 00:35:18,288 If he keeps making that noise, just go ahead and shoot me. 766 00:35:18,372 --> 00:35:19,706 -[Robert pants] -[laughing] 767 00:35:19,790 --> 00:35:22,042 [pirate leader] The happy couple will be here in a second. 768 00:35:22,793 --> 00:35:24,378 So let's get to business. 769 00:35:24,461 --> 00:35:26,380 Where is the father of the bride? 770 00:35:29,716 --> 00:35:32,344 Robert. He's calling ya again. 771 00:35:34,429 --> 00:35:37,266 Thanks, Carol. [grunts] 772 00:35:37,683 --> 00:35:38,851 Okay, what do you want? 773 00:35:39,893 --> 00:35:44,273 [pirate leader] Well, we call my colleague on the satellite phone, 774 00:35:44,356 --> 00:35:47,484 and you transfer $45 million to a bank account. 775 00:35:47,568 --> 00:35:49,069 [Harriett] What? What? 776 00:35:49,152 --> 00:35:50,654 I don't have that kind of money. 777 00:35:51,071 --> 00:35:55,409 [pirate leader] We googled you. Net worth is $60 million. 778 00:35:55,492 --> 00:35:58,495 I'm not giving you anything until I find out if my daughter's safe. 779 00:35:59,538 --> 00:36:01,748 -And your son-in-law. -Yeah, him too. 780 00:36:02,457 --> 00:36:03,542 Okay. 781 00:36:03,625 --> 00:36:06,253 I can wait two minutes to take all your money. 782 00:36:07,004 --> 00:36:08,005 This way. 783 00:36:10,132 --> 00:36:12,050 You want some pineapple candies? 784 00:36:12,134 --> 00:36:15,512 They're from that weird welcome bag we got, but I found them in my pocket. 785 00:36:15,596 --> 00:36:19,099 No, I don't want loose, wet candy from your gross pockets. 786 00:36:21,643 --> 00:36:22,769 Okay. 787 00:36:23,562 --> 00:36:24,813 Suit yourself. 788 00:36:30,986 --> 00:36:32,279 Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay. 789 00:36:32,362 --> 00:36:33,363 -I'm starving. -No. 790 00:36:33,447 --> 00:36:34,656 [Jamie gasps] 791 00:36:36,700 --> 00:36:38,118 -You're an asshole. -Hmm. 792 00:36:38,201 --> 00:36:40,162 God, I can't believe that I had sex with you. 793 00:36:40,245 --> 00:36:42,456 Honestly, I was pretty surprised by that too. 794 00:36:42,748 --> 00:36:45,083 [Darcy] My parents, they got divorced when I was in high school, 795 00:36:45,167 --> 00:36:47,878 and my first engagement was a disaster. 796 00:36:48,462 --> 00:36:50,839 What about you? Are you dating anyone? 797 00:36:50,923 --> 00:36:52,257 Have you always wanted to be a pirate? 798 00:36:52,341 --> 00:36:54,384 No more talk, lady. 799 00:37:00,223 --> 00:37:01,808 Excuse me, sirs. 800 00:37:01,892 --> 00:37:03,143 Darcy, they're gonna hurt you. 801 00:37:03,226 --> 00:37:05,854 I just can't help but notice that you guys smell like cigarettes, 802 00:37:05,938 --> 00:37:08,357 and I am loving it. 803 00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:10,859 Is there any way I could bum a cigarette? 804 00:37:10,943 --> 00:37:12,402 I mean, I think it might help with the... 805 00:37:12,486 --> 00:37:14,112 the panic and dread I'm experiencing right now. 806 00:37:14,196 --> 00:37:15,405 Since when do you smoke cigarettes? 807 00:37:15,489 --> 00:37:16,615 It's... 808 00:37:17,783 --> 00:37:19,618 I just... You don't even have to untie my hands. 809 00:37:19,701 --> 00:37:21,995 I mean, I... I can smoke with no hands. 810 00:37:22,079 --> 00:37:24,414 You could just put it right in my mouth. 811 00:37:24,498 --> 00:37:25,624 [pirate 2] Give her a cigarette. 812 00:37:25,707 --> 00:37:27,376 -Please. -Maybe it will shut her up. 813 00:37:27,459 --> 00:37:29,252 [Darcy] Yes, yes, yes, it will shut me up. 814 00:37:31,129 --> 00:37:32,631 Oh, thank you. 815 00:37:34,925 --> 00:37:36,593 You guys are the... 816 00:37:38,178 --> 00:37:39,179 best. 817 00:37:39,262 --> 00:37:40,847 -[searing] -[pirate 2] What? 818 00:37:40,931 --> 00:37:42,975 -Fire! -[Darcy screaming] 819 00:37:44,643 --> 00:37:46,061 [Tom] Oh, my God! 820 00:37:46,144 --> 00:37:49,147 -[gasps] -Oh, my God! Flamethrower! 821 00:37:49,231 --> 00:37:50,357 -[laughing] -Oh, my... 822 00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:53,235 See, that's why you only have a plan with one step! 823 00:37:54,945 --> 00:37:56,029 [Tom gasps] 824 00:37:56,113 --> 00:37:57,406 -No! -Oh, my God! 825 00:37:57,489 --> 00:37:59,658 -Get the brakes! -I'm trying! I'm trying! 826 00:38:00,993 --> 00:38:02,619 [Darcy screams] 827 00:38:02,703 --> 00:38:04,705 [both grunting] 828 00:38:07,541 --> 00:38:08,709 -[shrieks] -Cliff! 829 00:38:08,792 --> 00:38:10,127 -Cliff! Cliff! -[Darcy] I see it! 830 00:38:10,210 --> 00:38:11,545 Get it into park! 831 00:38:11,628 --> 00:38:13,547 [Tom] I'm trying! [grunting] 832 00:38:14,464 --> 00:38:16,133 -[Darcy] Oh, God! Oh, my God! -[Tom] God! 833 00:38:16,216 --> 00:38:17,592 [grunting] 834 00:38:19,052 --> 00:38:20,220 Oh, slide out! 835 00:38:20,804 --> 00:38:23,348 [both grunting and gasping] 836 00:38:23,432 --> 00:38:25,058 [both laugh] 837 00:38:25,142 --> 00:38:26,810 -[thud] -[both gasp] 838 00:38:26,893 --> 00:38:29,396 [Darcy] My dress! My dress, Tom! 839 00:38:29,479 --> 00:38:30,772 Tom, don't let go! 840 00:38:30,856 --> 00:38:32,858 -Don't you let go! -[gasping] 841 00:38:33,191 --> 00:38:35,318 [Darcy] I'm stuck! I'm stuck! 842 00:38:36,069 --> 00:38:37,821 [screaming] 843 00:38:37,904 --> 00:38:39,239 -[Tom strains] -[dress rips] 844 00:38:39,322 --> 00:38:40,574 [Darcy grunts] 845 00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:49,875 [both panting] 846 00:38:52,044 --> 00:38:53,503 [gunshots] 847 00:38:55,505 --> 00:38:57,299 -Go! -[whimpering] 848 00:38:57,382 --> 00:38:59,426 Go. Go, go, go. Go, go, go. 849 00:39:00,886 --> 00:39:02,804 -[gunshots continue] -[Darcy screams] 850 00:39:02,888 --> 00:39:05,015 [Tom panting] 851 00:39:05,098 --> 00:39:07,100 Quick, do something baseball-y. 852 00:39:07,184 --> 00:39:09,227 What? This is nothing like baseball! 853 00:39:10,187 --> 00:39:11,980 -Down! Down, down! -[Darcy] Fuck! 854 00:39:12,814 --> 00:39:13,815 [gun clicks] 855 00:39:14,107 --> 00:39:16,860 -He's out of ammo. -Right. 856 00:39:16,943 --> 00:39:18,361 -Run at him! -What? 857 00:39:19,696 --> 00:39:21,239 -Go. Believe me, just go! -No, no, no! 858 00:39:21,323 --> 00:39:22,365 [all grunt] 859 00:39:23,241 --> 00:39:24,076 [gasps] 860 00:39:26,036 --> 00:39:27,954 -Grenade! -He has a grenade! 861 00:39:28,872 --> 00:39:29,873 Sir! 862 00:39:29,956 --> 00:39:31,416 Sir, sir. 863 00:39:31,500 --> 00:39:33,085 Give me the grenade, sir. Sir! 864 00:39:33,168 --> 00:39:36,046 Sir, give me the grenade. Sir. Sir! 865 00:39:36,129 --> 00:39:38,006 [all grunting] 866 00:39:40,050 --> 00:39:42,052 -[Tom groans] -[Darcy] Ah-ow. Ow! 867 00:39:44,179 --> 00:39:46,932 -[bones crack] -[both panting] 868 00:39:52,813 --> 00:39:54,606 [whispering] Oh, my God. 869 00:39:54,689 --> 00:39:56,733 -Is he dead? -I don't know. 870 00:39:57,984 --> 00:39:59,444 [shouts] Are you dead? 871 00:40:07,744 --> 00:40:10,372 Oh, yeah, he's very not alive. 872 00:40:10,455 --> 00:40:12,457 Not alive. Oh, boy. 873 00:40:12,541 --> 00:40:14,459 -Yes! You killed him! -Yeah! 874 00:40:14,543 --> 00:40:16,711 Yeah, I killed him! I killed him! 875 00:40:16,795 --> 00:40:18,213 [both laughing] 876 00:40:18,296 --> 00:40:20,465 Oh, my God, I killed a man. 877 00:40:20,549 --> 00:40:23,260 I killed a man. No. 878 00:40:23,343 --> 00:40:25,470 -[gasping] -How do you feel? 879 00:40:25,554 --> 00:40:27,681 I feel... Oh, my God. I feel horrible. 880 00:40:27,764 --> 00:40:30,183 -Yeah. -But excited. 881 00:40:30,267 --> 00:40:32,352 You know, like, happy. Like, I'm gonna shit my pants. 882 00:40:32,435 --> 00:40:33,436 -Yeah. -You know, like, 883 00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:34,980 but in a good way. You know? 884 00:40:35,063 --> 00:40:36,231 [Darcy] Huh. 885 00:40:36,648 --> 00:40:37,774 Oh, my God. 886 00:40:38,650 --> 00:40:40,152 I'm gonna go to prison. 887 00:40:40,235 --> 00:40:41,319 -I'm gonna... -No! 888 00:40:41,403 --> 00:40:43,071 -Yeah. -No. It was... It... 889 00:40:43,155 --> 00:40:44,990 It was self-defense. He was trying to kill us. 890 00:40:45,073 --> 00:40:46,408 Any court would... 891 00:40:47,242 --> 00:40:48,368 Any court... 892 00:40:49,035 --> 00:40:50,036 Are you okay? 893 00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:52,831 Yeah. I'm fine. I'm fine. 894 00:40:52,914 --> 00:40:55,667 It's just, you know, I looked over there and I saw all the blood. 895 00:40:55,750 --> 00:40:57,419 And, you know, I think I saw some brain. 896 00:40:57,502 --> 00:40:59,212 -Was that brain stuff? -Yeah. Yeah. 897 00:40:59,296 --> 00:41:02,966 And so I'm just gonna look up at the sky and... so I don't pass out. 898 00:41:03,049 --> 00:41:04,551 Okay. Well, you know what? Maybe we should... 899 00:41:04,634 --> 00:41:06,052 -[huffing] -Let's just step away 900 00:41:06,136 --> 00:41:07,137 from the scene. 901 00:41:07,220 --> 00:41:08,263 -And don't look down. -Okay. 902 00:41:08,346 --> 00:41:09,347 -Okay. -Just don't look down. 903 00:41:10,682 --> 00:41:12,434 [pirate leader] They should be here by now. 904 00:41:12,517 --> 00:41:13,518 Head up the road. 905 00:41:13,602 --> 00:41:14,936 -Check on them. -[pirate 3] Yeah. 906 00:41:18,398 --> 00:41:20,525 [breathing through teeth] 907 00:41:20,609 --> 00:41:23,862 All right. We need to get off this island. 908 00:41:23,945 --> 00:41:26,990 Well, it might help that I got this grenade for us. 909 00:41:27,073 --> 00:41:29,451 I mean, he was trying to blow us up, but I got it. 910 00:41:29,534 --> 00:41:31,745 I got it. Another point for Darcy. 911 00:41:32,662 --> 00:41:34,206 [blows sharply] 912 00:41:34,289 --> 00:41:35,916 Okay, Darcy. 913 00:41:35,999 --> 00:41:37,000 Uh... 914 00:41:37,834 --> 00:41:39,169 Do you remember 915 00:41:39,794 --> 00:41:41,671 that time that we were driving down the highway 916 00:41:41,755 --> 00:41:44,799 and you very calmly told me to pull over? 917 00:41:44,883 --> 00:41:46,468 And you waited until we pulled over 918 00:41:46,551 --> 00:41:49,262 to tell me that there was a giant spider on my head? 919 00:41:49,804 --> 00:41:51,181 Yeah. Yeah. 920 00:41:51,264 --> 00:41:52,515 Yeah, well, that was very smart. 921 00:41:52,933 --> 00:41:57,479 Because if you had told me before, I might have panicked and crashed the car. 922 00:41:57,562 --> 00:41:58,772 Wait. Is there a spider on my head? 923 00:41:58,855 --> 00:42:00,273 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 924 00:42:00,357 --> 00:42:02,317 No, no. I tell you this story because... 925 00:42:03,568 --> 00:42:04,653 I don't want you to panic 926 00:42:04,736 --> 00:42:06,655 when I tell you what I'm about to tell you. 927 00:42:07,656 --> 00:42:10,367 Your grenade doesn't have a pin. 928 00:42:14,329 --> 00:42:16,039 -What does that mean? -Well... 929 00:42:16,122 --> 00:42:17,916 Well, is it... is it... is it gonna explode? 930 00:42:17,999 --> 00:42:19,834 No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. 931 00:42:19,918 --> 00:42:22,045 Hold it exactly how you're holding it. Good. Good. 932 00:42:22,337 --> 00:42:24,339 -Okay. Okay. -Mm-hmm. 933 00:42:24,422 --> 00:42:26,466 That pin holds the handle on. 934 00:42:26,549 --> 00:42:29,552 But when you let go of the grenade, the handle pops off, 935 00:42:29,636 --> 00:42:32,514 which lights the fuse, and the whole thing goes... 936 00:42:33,473 --> 00:42:34,516 boom. 937 00:42:34,599 --> 00:42:36,351 [whispers] How do you know so much about grenades? 938 00:42:36,851 --> 00:42:38,144 Video games. 939 00:42:38,228 --> 00:42:40,021 So what should I do? Should... Should I throw it? 940 00:42:40,105 --> 00:42:43,775 Well, my concern is that you won't be able to throw it far enough to not blow us up. 941 00:42:43,858 --> 00:42:45,819 -No offense. -God. 942 00:42:46,194 --> 00:42:48,530 So, what, I just... I just hold this live grenade? 943 00:42:48,613 --> 00:42:50,657 This grenade is just part of my life now? 944 00:42:50,740 --> 00:42:52,158 Yeah, for now, yeah, yeah, yeah. 945 00:42:56,079 --> 00:42:57,497 Okay, here's the plan. 946 00:42:58,748 --> 00:42:59,874 We're gonna get a knife. 947 00:42:59,958 --> 00:43:00,917 -Okay. All right. -I'm gonna cut 948 00:43:01,001 --> 00:43:03,211 through these ties, we're gonna get rid of that grenade, 949 00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:05,255 and then we're gonna head down to the docks. 950 00:43:05,338 --> 00:43:07,090 We're gonna bum-rush the pirate guarding it, 951 00:43:07,173 --> 00:43:09,634 hop in a boat, and head to the next island for help. 952 00:43:10,218 --> 00:43:13,471 -Okay? -Tom, that plan... 953 00:43:13,555 --> 00:43:16,016 [sighs] Has too many steps. I see that now. 954 00:43:16,683 --> 00:43:18,727 [sighs] Now, you got a simpler one? 955 00:43:19,686 --> 00:43:21,396 -Yes. Yes. -What? 956 00:43:21,479 --> 00:43:23,356 -Yes. Okay. -What are you doing? 957 00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:25,066 Get down here. Found it. 958 00:43:25,150 --> 00:43:26,609 -Found it. Yes. -What are we doing? 959 00:43:26,693 --> 00:43:28,445 -Right here. -What are we doing? 960 00:43:28,528 --> 00:43:30,655 -[laughs triumphantly] -Oh. 961 00:43:31,323 --> 00:43:32,365 Oh. 962 00:43:32,449 --> 00:43:34,909 Find cell service. Call for help. 963 00:43:34,993 --> 00:43:36,411 When did you put that in your underwear? 964 00:43:36,494 --> 00:43:37,746 [chuckles] 965 00:43:37,829 --> 00:43:39,581 Right before the pirates took us out of the cabana. 966 00:43:39,664 --> 00:43:41,499 Because I'm a sneaky little bitch. 967 00:43:41,583 --> 00:43:44,044 Oh, you are a sneaky little bitch. 968 00:43:44,753 --> 00:43:46,046 -Thank you. -[sighs] 969 00:43:46,129 --> 00:43:47,630 -Okay. -Let's start walking. 970 00:43:47,714 --> 00:43:49,549 [Darcy] Sneaky. Sneaky little bitch. 971 00:43:51,968 --> 00:43:53,595 You're testing my patience, Robert! 972 00:43:53,678 --> 00:43:55,055 Look, you want my money? I want my daughter. 973 00:43:55,138 --> 00:43:56,723 -It's a simple negotiation. -[pirate leader] Enough! 974 00:43:56,806 --> 00:43:57,807 All right. 975 00:43:57,891 --> 00:43:58,892 [Carol] They're bringing him back. 976 00:43:58,975 --> 00:44:00,018 [pirate leader] Move. 977 00:44:00,101 --> 00:44:02,479 [Sean] Robert. What happened? Are you okay? 978 00:44:02,562 --> 00:44:03,605 They didn't hurt you, did they? 979 00:44:03,688 --> 00:44:06,983 Well, I'm not giving them a dime till I know my daughter's alive. 980 00:44:07,067 --> 00:44:08,860 That didn't go over very well. 981 00:44:09,444 --> 00:44:11,738 I'm afraid they're gonna start shooting the hostages. 982 00:44:11,821 --> 00:44:12,864 [Sean] I don't think they're gonna do that. 983 00:44:12,947 --> 00:44:14,824 [Harriett] Isn't that exactly what pirates do? 984 00:44:22,248 --> 00:44:24,918 Come out, Mr. Pirate Man! 985 00:44:32,008 --> 00:44:33,343 My name 986 00:44:34,469 --> 00:44:37,597 is Carol Elaine Fowler, 987 00:44:38,681 --> 00:44:40,475 and I deserve to live. 988 00:44:41,476 --> 00:44:44,521 Carol, what are you doing? 989 00:44:44,604 --> 00:44:46,106 [whispering] I'm humanizing myself. 990 00:44:46,189 --> 00:44:47,816 [in normal tone] I saw it on Good Morning America. 991 00:44:47,899 --> 00:44:51,528 If you humanize yourself to them, they let you live. 992 00:44:54,197 --> 00:44:57,742 I am a wife. I am a mother. 993 00:44:58,201 --> 00:45:02,914 And I was Milford, Michigan's top realtor in 1998, 994 00:45:02,997 --> 00:45:05,250 and again in 2007. 995 00:45:06,084 --> 00:45:09,379 I dream of going to Ireland. 996 00:45:10,046 --> 00:45:13,716 I was a late bloomer and my teeth didn't come in till I was 14. 997 00:45:14,342 --> 00:45:15,385 Please pick me. 998 00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:17,554 My name is Jeannie Reed. 999 00:45:17,929 --> 00:45:22,225 I am a devoted mother and a slightly less devoted wife. 1000 00:45:22,767 --> 00:45:24,519 This is my first vacation without my kids, 1001 00:45:24,602 --> 00:45:27,230 so I drank a lot of champagne before the ceremony, 1002 00:45:27,313 --> 00:45:28,273 took a couple of weed gummies, 1003 00:45:28,356 --> 00:45:30,692 and the combination is really killing me right now. 1004 00:45:30,775 --> 00:45:34,988 I'm Amanda Walker. I'm a godmother and a woman in tech. 1005 00:45:35,071 --> 00:45:37,031 -I went to-- -I am Renata. 1006 00:45:38,450 --> 00:45:40,118 I'm from Brazil. 1007 00:45:41,119 --> 00:45:43,872 I have beautiful hair. 1008 00:45:43,955 --> 00:45:44,914 Yeah. Very beautiful. 1009 00:45:45,707 --> 00:45:46,833 What else? 1010 00:45:48,460 --> 00:45:49,586 You're a mother. 1011 00:45:50,462 --> 00:45:51,921 I am a mother. 1012 00:45:53,131 --> 00:45:54,507 My name is Ricky Silver. 1013 00:45:54,591 --> 00:45:56,634 A lot of my friends, they're pairing up, 1014 00:45:56,718 --> 00:45:59,637 and they're getting married and drinking loose-leaf tea and shit. 1015 00:45:59,721 --> 00:46:01,723 And I'm still single. But last night... 1016 00:46:03,266 --> 00:46:06,978 I made love to a gorgeous and terrifying woman. 1017 00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:08,813 You think I'm terrifying? 1018 00:46:09,898 --> 00:46:11,649 You scare the shit out of me. 1019 00:46:12,442 --> 00:46:14,444 [light music playing] 1020 00:46:16,654 --> 00:46:18,156 I'm Larry Fowler. 1021 00:46:20,450 --> 00:46:21,451 [music halts] 1022 00:46:23,453 --> 00:46:24,454 Oh... 1023 00:46:24,954 --> 00:46:25,955 Thank you. 1024 00:46:27,499 --> 00:46:28,917 -Oh. -[Jeannie] Oh, easy, Dad. 1025 00:46:29,918 --> 00:46:31,085 -Hold the phone. Yes. -[Tom] How am I gonna... 1026 00:46:31,169 --> 00:46:32,253 -Hold it steady. -[Darcy] Hold it. Hold on. 1027 00:46:32,337 --> 00:46:34,756 I just gotta get this thing out of my head. 1028 00:46:34,839 --> 00:46:37,717 It's driving me crazy. [sighs] 1029 00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:39,844 -Wait. Hold on. Just wait. -What are you... 1030 00:46:41,137 --> 00:46:43,139 What are you... Are you stuffing a loose wad 1031 00:46:43,223 --> 00:46:44,724 of hair in my pocket? 1032 00:46:44,807 --> 00:46:47,352 Yes. A loose wad of very expensive, 1033 00:46:47,435 --> 00:46:49,437 custom-made hair that I would like to keep. 1034 00:46:49,521 --> 00:46:50,897 If we survive. 1035 00:46:51,648 --> 00:46:53,608 [laughing] 1036 00:46:53,691 --> 00:46:55,026 What's so funny? 1037 00:46:57,111 --> 00:46:58,863 -I've just been... -Ow, ow, ow! 1038 00:46:58,947 --> 00:47:01,616 ...questioning everything lately. 1039 00:47:01,699 --> 00:47:04,744 What if the wedding's not perfect? What if your parents never like me? 1040 00:47:04,827 --> 00:47:06,955 What does life look like after baseball? 1041 00:47:07,038 --> 00:47:08,790 But not once did I wonder 1042 00:47:08,873 --> 00:47:13,086 if I'd be walking handcuffed through the jungle with a live grenade. 1043 00:47:13,795 --> 00:47:17,966 Oh. Pirates chasing you wasn't on your vision board? 1044 00:47:18,049 --> 00:47:20,218 Well, you were the only thing on my vision board. 1045 00:47:21,261 --> 00:47:22,303 [Darcy grunts] 1046 00:47:22,387 --> 00:47:23,555 -[Darcy yelps] -[grunts] 1047 00:47:23,638 --> 00:47:24,722 -I got it, I got it, I got it. -Oh! Oh! 1048 00:47:24,806 --> 00:47:26,391 -You got it? You got it? -I got it. I got it. 1049 00:47:26,474 --> 00:47:29,352 -Okay. I got it. -Oh, good. Okay. Oh. [panting] 1050 00:47:31,563 --> 00:47:33,523 -We have a bar. -Oh, good. 1051 00:47:34,232 --> 00:47:35,275 All right. 1052 00:47:35,358 --> 00:47:36,693 -Keep your hands with me. -Okay. 1053 00:47:36,776 --> 00:47:38,444 -Okay. -Call for help. 1054 00:47:38,528 --> 00:47:40,446 Yes. Shit! It's gone. 1055 00:47:41,447 --> 00:47:43,032 -[groans] -[Tom] Well, keep trying. 1056 00:47:47,161 --> 00:47:48,871 -I think, maybe... -We have to go higher. 1057 00:47:48,955 --> 00:47:50,206 -What? -Yes. 1058 00:47:50,748 --> 00:47:53,251 Not... No. No, no, no. Uh, I don't like higher. 1059 00:47:55,712 --> 00:47:57,714 [intense music playing] 1060 00:48:05,054 --> 00:48:07,056 Yeah, I don't... I don't think this thing is built to code. 1061 00:48:07,140 --> 00:48:08,683 -Tom. -Anything? 1062 00:48:08,766 --> 00:48:10,685 No. Come on. 1063 00:48:11,894 --> 00:48:13,646 -Yeah. -We're almost at the top. 1064 00:48:13,730 --> 00:48:16,774 Maybe we should go back down so we're not up so high. 1065 00:48:16,858 --> 00:48:19,736 Don't think about the heights right now. Okay? We're safe. 1066 00:48:19,819 --> 00:48:21,904 Yeah. You use the word "safe" very loosely. 1067 00:48:22,905 --> 00:48:24,032 Oh, my God. 1068 00:48:27,744 --> 00:48:28,745 [cell phone chimes] 1069 00:48:28,828 --> 00:48:30,121 -Full service. Full service. -Oh, yes. 1070 00:48:30,204 --> 00:48:31,456 -I have full service. -[chiming continues] 1071 00:48:31,539 --> 00:48:32,582 [Tom] Whoa, whoa, whoa. Silence it. 1072 00:48:32,665 --> 00:48:34,459 -[whispers] I'm trying. -[Tom shushes] 1073 00:48:34,542 --> 00:48:36,252 -[chiming continues] -[birds chirping] 1074 00:48:39,589 --> 00:48:41,257 Your group chat is out of control. 1075 00:48:41,341 --> 00:48:43,343 I will not apologize for having enthusiastic friends. 1076 00:48:43,426 --> 00:48:44,802 -[gunshots] -[both yelp] 1077 00:48:46,846 --> 00:48:48,097 Oh! You dropped it. 1078 00:48:48,181 --> 00:48:49,974 -[Darcy] Come on! -[gunshots continue] 1079 00:48:50,516 --> 00:48:52,226 -We gotta zip. -Zip? 1080 00:48:52,310 --> 00:48:53,603 What do you mean, "zip"? 1081 00:48:54,604 --> 00:48:56,689 -Oh! Zip. Oh, God! -[gunshot] 1082 00:48:56,773 --> 00:48:58,024 Go, go, go. 1083 00:48:58,691 --> 00:49:00,568 No, I don't think we have the proper equipment. 1084 00:49:00,652 --> 00:49:02,111 -[gunshot] -Well, they have guns. 1085 00:49:02,195 --> 00:49:03,321 [Tom] Is there some kind of a manual? 1086 00:49:03,404 --> 00:49:04,447 [pirate 3] Come down! 1087 00:49:04,530 --> 00:49:06,991 [Tom] We need helmets. I see lots of helmets in the photos. 1088 00:49:07,075 --> 00:49:07,992 [Darcy grunts] 1089 00:49:08,076 --> 00:49:09,410 And then why do they look scared? 1090 00:49:09,494 --> 00:49:11,162 [Darcy] Stop thinking so much. Jump! 1091 00:49:11,954 --> 00:49:14,040 [Tom screaming] 1092 00:49:17,752 --> 00:49:20,546 -Stop screaming! -Oh, God! Oh, my God! 1093 00:49:20,630 --> 00:49:21,881 Whoa! 1094 00:49:21,964 --> 00:49:23,132 Tom, don't let go. 1095 00:49:23,216 --> 00:49:25,218 -[gunshots] -The fuck! 1096 00:49:25,802 --> 00:49:28,179 [both screaming] 1097 00:49:29,305 --> 00:49:31,182 [Tom] Hold on, baby. Hold on. 1098 00:49:31,265 --> 00:49:32,475 Okay. 1099 00:49:34,602 --> 00:49:36,437 [Tom screaming] 1100 00:49:36,521 --> 00:49:37,522 [grenade clatters] 1101 00:49:38,231 --> 00:49:39,232 [pirate 4] Uh... 1102 00:49:40,274 --> 00:49:43,695 -Yeah! [laughs] -[Darcy] Yeah! 1103 00:49:44,362 --> 00:49:46,197 [pirate leader] What the hell was that? 1104 00:49:46,280 --> 00:49:48,449 -[Darcy screaming] -[laughing] 1105 00:49:50,034 --> 00:49:52,370 [Tom screaming] 1106 00:49:56,916 --> 00:49:57,959 [Darcy] Oh, God! 1107 00:50:00,545 --> 00:50:02,255 -[Darcy] Oh, God! -How do we land this thing? 1108 00:50:02,338 --> 00:50:03,798 Me first. I'm gonna go first. 1109 00:50:03,881 --> 00:50:06,801 -What about me? -No, let me. Me first. 1110 00:50:06,884 --> 00:50:08,469 I'm gonna jump. I'm gonna jump. 1111 00:50:08,553 --> 00:50:10,805 -[Tom] Okay, okay. -I got it. I got it. 1112 00:50:10,888 --> 00:50:12,140 Here I go! 1113 00:50:14,434 --> 00:50:15,852 [Darcy groans] 1114 00:50:17,437 --> 00:50:20,398 [Tom] Oh! [groaning] 1115 00:50:22,400 --> 00:50:23,818 [Tom panting] 1116 00:50:26,946 --> 00:50:28,906 [solemn music playing] 1117 00:50:37,039 --> 00:50:39,000 [suspenseful music playing] 1118 00:50:45,381 --> 00:50:47,049 [pirate leader] These people are sick. 1119 00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:51,220 You find them, but I kill them. 1120 00:50:51,304 --> 00:50:52,889 [rustling] 1121 00:50:54,390 --> 00:50:55,808 [pirate 2] You can have the man, 1122 00:50:56,851 --> 00:50:58,644 but the bride is mine. 1123 00:51:01,689 --> 00:51:03,524 [Darcy] Police, coast guard, they're all right there. 1124 00:51:03,608 --> 00:51:04,942 -How do we get across? -I don't know. 1125 00:51:05,026 --> 00:51:07,612 [Carol] Okay, let's all go around and play two truths and a lie. 1126 00:51:07,695 --> 00:51:08,738 [pirate] Be quiet! 1127 00:51:08,821 --> 00:51:10,031 -Carol. -Mom. 1128 00:51:10,490 --> 00:51:11,866 -[Darcy] Easy. -[mumbles] 1129 00:51:12,700 --> 00:51:13,910 Okay, come on. 1130 00:51:14,660 --> 00:51:15,953 Come on, come on, come on. 1131 00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:22,418 [Darcy] Oh, my God. 1132 00:51:22,502 --> 00:51:23,878 Oh, my God. [crying] 1133 00:51:25,755 --> 00:51:27,131 I'm gonna fix this. 1134 00:51:31,135 --> 00:51:32,553 [Darcy] My poor mom. 1135 00:51:32,637 --> 00:51:35,473 She thought she was gonna be able to avoid my dad all weekend. 1136 00:51:37,058 --> 00:51:39,602 My mom used to love my dad so much. 1137 00:51:42,021 --> 00:51:43,731 He was her whole world. 1138 00:51:43,815 --> 00:51:46,609 Then when he left, she just lost her joy. 1139 00:51:47,652 --> 00:51:49,237 I mean, she acts tough, but... 1140 00:51:51,906 --> 00:51:53,616 she never really recovered. 1141 00:51:58,996 --> 00:52:00,623 -Darcy, I'm sorry... -I know. 1142 00:52:02,333 --> 00:52:03,709 We have to keep moving. 1143 00:52:07,004 --> 00:52:08,047 [both gasp] 1144 00:52:12,927 --> 00:52:14,887 [amusing music playing] 1145 00:52:19,559 --> 00:52:21,435 [whispering] What the hell does that mean? 1146 00:52:25,022 --> 00:52:26,023 [whispering] Kitchen. 1147 00:52:28,943 --> 00:52:30,403 -[door opens] -[Tom grunts] 1148 00:52:30,486 --> 00:52:32,196 Okay, we need to find a knife. 1149 00:52:32,697 --> 00:52:34,782 -Oh. Mmm. -What... What... 1150 00:52:34,866 --> 00:52:35,825 What are you doing? 1151 00:52:35,908 --> 00:52:37,410 I'm starving. Have you eaten today? 1152 00:52:37,493 --> 00:52:38,578 No, I'm not hungry. 1153 00:52:38,661 --> 00:52:40,037 Yes, you are. You're acting cranky. 1154 00:52:40,121 --> 00:52:42,999 -Mmm. Mmm! Mmm. -[Darcy] Mmm. 1155 00:52:44,750 --> 00:52:46,961 -Mmm, this is so delicious. -[indistinct radio chatter] 1156 00:52:48,629 --> 00:52:49,714 [Darcy gasps] 1157 00:52:58,222 --> 00:52:59,849 [whispering] I love your mom. 1158 00:52:59,932 --> 00:53:01,225 Okay, come on. 1159 00:53:02,310 --> 00:53:04,186 Come on. Ow! Easy, easy. 1160 00:53:04,270 --> 00:53:05,563 I can't cut with one hand. 1161 00:53:05,646 --> 00:53:07,273 Well, I can't cut with no hands. 1162 00:53:11,903 --> 00:53:13,696 We need to find something else. 1163 00:53:13,779 --> 00:53:14,906 Okay? 1164 00:53:15,656 --> 00:53:17,992 Something that cuts through plastic. 1165 00:53:18,910 --> 00:53:20,286 Hmm... 1166 00:53:22,914 --> 00:53:23,915 Yep. 1167 00:53:24,415 --> 00:53:26,167 [whirring] 1168 00:53:28,836 --> 00:53:30,379 -Is this a bad idea? -Yeah. 1169 00:53:30,463 --> 00:53:32,298 -You ready? -No! 1170 00:53:33,925 --> 00:53:34,926 Okay. 1171 00:53:37,803 --> 00:53:39,388 [mumbles] There you go. 1172 00:53:41,182 --> 00:53:42,600 [loudly] Hang on, hang on, hang on! 1173 00:53:42,683 --> 00:53:43,809 [groans] Darcy, you're stalling. 1174 00:53:43,893 --> 00:53:45,019 -I know. -We got this. 1175 00:53:45,102 --> 00:53:46,187 -Okay. Yes. -We got this. 1176 00:53:46,896 --> 00:53:48,564 -On my count. Ready? -Okay. 1177 00:53:48,648 --> 00:53:51,484 -Yes. -Ten, nine, eight... 1178 00:53:51,567 --> 00:53:53,235 Why are you counting from ten? 1179 00:53:53,319 --> 00:53:54,570 What is this, a rocket launch? 1180 00:53:54,654 --> 00:53:55,696 Okay, fine. On four. 1181 00:53:56,322 --> 00:53:59,784 One, two, three-- 1182 00:53:59,867 --> 00:54:01,285 No one goes on four. 1183 00:54:01,369 --> 00:54:02,828 -No one goes on four. -All right... 1184 00:54:02,912 --> 00:54:04,163 Shh! Shh. 1185 00:54:04,246 --> 00:54:05,998 -[grunts] Okay. -Just... 1186 00:54:06,082 --> 00:54:08,250 -Just like a Band-Aid. -Fine, fine. 1187 00:54:08,334 --> 00:54:09,543 -Ready? Go. -Like a Band-Aid. 1188 00:54:09,627 --> 00:54:11,504 -[machine whines] -[Tom screams] 1189 00:54:11,587 --> 00:54:13,923 -[groaning] -[Darcy screams] 1190 00:54:15,174 --> 00:54:16,384 [blood dripping] 1191 00:54:16,467 --> 00:54:18,135 [muffled screaming] 1192 00:54:18,219 --> 00:54:19,261 [squeals] 1193 00:54:20,972 --> 00:54:22,807 [groans] Oh, my God. 1194 00:54:27,228 --> 00:54:28,688 Come on. [grunts] 1195 00:54:33,359 --> 00:54:35,486 [tense music playing] 1196 00:54:35,569 --> 00:54:37,738 -[sizzling] -[liquid boiling] 1197 00:55:03,931 --> 00:55:04,932 [cocks gun] 1198 00:55:05,641 --> 00:55:06,809 Tom! 1199 00:55:08,602 --> 00:55:09,854 [softly] Tom. 1200 00:55:10,354 --> 00:55:12,356 -[dish clangs] -[Tom grunts] 1201 00:55:19,905 --> 00:55:20,906 [grunts] 1202 00:55:22,825 --> 00:55:23,826 [pirate grunts] 1203 00:55:26,829 --> 00:55:28,706 [squeaking] 1204 00:55:29,081 --> 00:55:30,624 [both grunting] 1205 00:55:40,509 --> 00:55:41,927 [pirate screams] 1206 00:55:42,887 --> 00:55:44,055 [pirate yells] 1207 00:55:50,686 --> 00:55:52,605 [Tom panting] 1208 00:55:56,525 --> 00:55:58,486 [continues panting] 1209 00:56:02,364 --> 00:56:03,657 I thought you left. 1210 00:56:05,117 --> 00:56:06,202 What? 1211 00:56:08,662 --> 00:56:09,663 No. 1212 00:56:11,373 --> 00:56:12,541 Never. 1213 00:56:16,921 --> 00:56:18,339 Where'd your mom's knife go? 1214 00:56:29,683 --> 00:56:31,519 Oh, Jesus, help me. 1215 00:56:37,608 --> 00:56:39,276 [sighs in relief] That's good. 1216 00:56:40,694 --> 00:56:41,946 Throw me those boots. 1217 00:57:00,548 --> 00:57:02,591 [rousing music playing] 1218 00:57:07,847 --> 00:57:08,848 What? 1219 00:57:09,765 --> 00:57:12,810 That dress is growing on me. 1220 00:57:15,437 --> 00:57:16,647 Thanks. 1221 00:57:17,398 --> 00:57:19,024 I wanted something less traditional. 1222 00:57:20,776 --> 00:57:22,736 [whirring] 1223 00:57:28,492 --> 00:57:30,161 [intense music playing] 1224 00:57:48,304 --> 00:57:51,182 Yes. Maybe Margy's got a hard line to the Internet. 1225 00:57:52,766 --> 00:57:54,310 Wow, does Margy love corgis. 1226 00:57:55,978 --> 00:57:57,855 No. Damn it. 1227 00:57:58,981 --> 00:58:00,691 [pirate 2] You go over there, I'll go here. 1228 00:58:00,774 --> 00:58:02,151 -[pirate 5] Yeah. -They're right there. 1229 00:58:02,234 --> 00:58:03,777 -What do I do? -I don't know. 1230 00:58:04,195 --> 00:58:05,571 I don't know. 1231 00:58:06,655 --> 00:58:08,115 -[Tom gasps] -[shushes] 1232 00:58:08,199 --> 00:58:09,742 -Oh, Margy. -This way. 1233 00:58:09,825 --> 00:58:10,910 [Tom] Go, go, go. 1234 00:58:11,952 --> 00:58:13,329 Okay. I got you. 1235 00:58:13,412 --> 00:58:15,289 [Darcy] It's okay. It's okay. 1236 00:58:16,290 --> 00:58:17,374 [door closes] 1237 00:58:17,458 --> 00:58:19,126 Come. Faster, faster. 1238 00:58:20,127 --> 00:58:21,879 Ace, Margy... 1239 00:58:21,962 --> 00:58:23,756 -Is this your bunker? -[Ace] Uh-huh. 1240 00:58:23,839 --> 00:58:24,798 -Man cave. -Is it spinning? 1241 00:58:24,882 --> 00:58:25,925 Is it spinning for anyone else? 1242 00:58:26,300 --> 00:58:28,052 You're losing blood. Sit down. 1243 00:58:28,135 --> 00:58:30,679 -Sit down. Okay. -Bandages. Ace. 1244 00:58:30,763 --> 00:58:32,431 [Ace] I'll get the medical kit. 1245 00:58:32,514 --> 00:58:34,141 Give me your hand. I'm gonna wrap it. 1246 00:58:34,225 --> 00:58:36,101 No. No, no, no. No. 1247 00:58:36,727 --> 00:58:38,187 Are you sure? It's disgusting. 1248 00:58:39,688 --> 00:58:40,689 Yeah. 1249 00:58:47,529 --> 00:58:48,822 Oh. Cheers. 1250 00:58:51,784 --> 00:58:52,993 [shudders] Okay. 1251 00:58:53,077 --> 00:58:55,454 [groans] Looks like it's got a flap. 1252 00:58:56,705 --> 00:58:58,165 It's got a loose flap. 1253 00:58:58,249 --> 00:58:59,416 -Listen, just be... -[Darcy] Mm-hmm. 1254 00:59:00,084 --> 00:59:02,294 Just... Just be careful with the flap. 1255 00:59:02,378 --> 00:59:04,755 Please stop saying "flap," okay? 1256 00:59:04,838 --> 00:59:06,966 I'm totally fine. Just don't say flap. 1257 00:59:07,758 --> 00:59:09,843 -[Margy] How many are there? -Uh... 1258 00:59:09,927 --> 00:59:13,264 Two in the lobby. Couple more by the pool with the hostages. 1259 00:59:13,347 --> 00:59:16,350 And, uh, one by the dock, right? 1260 00:59:16,433 --> 00:59:18,686 But we got four. 1261 00:59:19,436 --> 00:59:20,938 What do you mean, "got"? 1262 00:59:24,233 --> 00:59:26,652 Got them to stop, you know, 1263 00:59:27,903 --> 00:59:29,154 being alive. 1264 00:59:29,947 --> 00:59:31,615 Holy shit. 1265 00:59:31,699 --> 00:59:33,993 [Tom] Well, yeah, we didn't see any of your staff, though. 1266 00:59:34,076 --> 00:59:36,328 I saw them getting locked up in the spa. 1267 00:59:36,412 --> 00:59:37,913 They never bother with the locals. 1268 00:59:37,997 --> 00:59:41,250 Americans are the rich idiots. No offense. 1269 00:59:41,333 --> 00:59:44,169 I just don't understand why the pirates are still here. 1270 00:59:44,253 --> 00:59:46,005 Last time, they just looted the rooms. 1271 00:59:46,088 --> 00:59:49,174 Twenty minutes, gone. [sighs] 1272 00:59:50,467 --> 00:59:51,677 What do you mean, "last time"? 1273 00:59:51,760 --> 00:59:53,595 Last year. [speaking Filipino] 1274 00:59:53,679 --> 00:59:55,639 [in English] Two thousand islands in the Philippines, 1275 00:59:55,723 --> 00:59:56,890 and they hit us twice? 1276 00:59:56,974 --> 00:59:58,350 -It's not fair. -Wait, wait. 1277 00:59:59,351 --> 01:00:01,687 The pirates were here last summer? 1278 01:00:01,770 --> 01:00:03,272 And you let us have our wedding here? 1279 01:00:03,355 --> 01:00:06,859 What? Tom-Tom. We talked about it, huh? 1280 01:00:09,403 --> 01:00:10,404 You knew about this? 1281 01:00:10,487 --> 01:00:12,531 Well, first of all, nobody got killed last summer. 1282 01:00:12,614 --> 01:00:13,657 And we both agreed that 1283 01:00:13,741 --> 01:00:15,951 the chances of it happening again were very small. 1284 01:00:16,035 --> 01:00:17,828 -Who's "we"? -Me and Margy. 1285 01:00:18,495 --> 01:00:19,621 We e-mailed a lot, 1286 01:00:19,705 --> 01:00:21,540 and I asked a lot of tough questions, didn't I? 1287 01:00:21,623 --> 01:00:23,792 How could you not tell me about this? 1288 01:00:23,876 --> 01:00:25,377 You didn't tell me that you were having doubts 1289 01:00:25,461 --> 01:00:26,628 about getting married, so... 1290 01:00:26,712 --> 01:00:29,590 Yeah, you're right. I didn't. You know why? 1291 01:00:29,923 --> 01:00:33,844 Because all last year, you were in your head about everything. 1292 01:00:33,927 --> 01:00:36,722 You thought my dad didn't like you, so you started acting all weird. 1293 01:00:36,805 --> 01:00:38,098 And now my dad doesn't like you. 1294 01:00:38,766 --> 01:00:40,309 You thought the Robins were gonna drop you. 1295 01:00:40,392 --> 01:00:42,728 And then you started playing badly, and they did drop you. 1296 01:00:42,811 --> 01:00:44,813 You think that something bad is gonna happen, 1297 01:00:44,897 --> 01:00:46,732 and then you make it happen. 1298 01:00:46,815 --> 01:00:48,275 That's called self-sabotage. 1299 01:00:48,359 --> 01:00:50,402 It is. Ace, thank you. 1300 01:00:50,819 --> 01:00:53,530 And all you were excited about was this wedding. 1301 01:00:53,614 --> 01:00:56,658 And I knew that if I told you that I was having doubts, 1302 01:00:56,742 --> 01:00:58,786 that you would sabotage our whole relationship. 1303 01:00:58,869 --> 01:01:00,412 Which you did anyway! 1304 01:01:00,496 --> 01:01:02,039 I didn't sabotage anything. 1305 01:01:02,539 --> 01:01:04,249 I tried to make this wedding perfect. 1306 01:01:04,333 --> 01:01:07,086 And it all got ruined the day your boy Sean showed up. 1307 01:01:07,169 --> 01:01:08,879 This has nothing to do with Sean. 1308 01:01:08,962 --> 01:01:10,714 This is about your insecurities. 1309 01:01:10,798 --> 01:01:12,132 And this whole wedding 1310 01:01:12,216 --> 01:01:14,718 was your way of trying to get control of your life, 1311 01:01:14,802 --> 01:01:16,053 because you have to control everything. 1312 01:01:16,136 --> 01:01:19,014 It's like when you get out of the car to "help me" parallel park, 1313 01:01:19,098 --> 01:01:20,682 when I can do it just fine on my own. 1314 01:01:20,766 --> 01:01:22,393 Yeah, I wouldn't call a 17-point turn "just fine." 1315 01:01:22,476 --> 01:01:24,561 Well, those jeans you bought from Old Navy last month 1316 01:01:24,645 --> 01:01:25,896 were women's jeans. 1317 01:01:25,979 --> 01:01:27,147 Uh... 1318 01:01:27,231 --> 01:01:28,690 Well, I found them in the men's section. 1319 01:01:28,774 --> 01:01:30,109 They made you look like Stevie Nicks. 1320 01:01:30,192 --> 01:01:32,736 That haircut that you got last year, I hated it. 1321 01:01:32,820 --> 01:01:35,364 It made your head look square. You looked like a fucking Simpson. 1322 01:01:35,447 --> 01:01:36,990 You said it was chic. 1323 01:01:37,074 --> 01:01:38,784 You act so confident, 1324 01:01:38,867 --> 01:01:40,577 so strong, but you're just a scared little girl. 1325 01:01:42,246 --> 01:01:44,498 You're afraid to go all in on this relationship 1326 01:01:44,581 --> 01:01:46,875 because it means you might have something to lose. 1327 01:01:46,959 --> 01:01:48,419 [breath trembling] 1328 01:01:53,841 --> 01:01:56,051 Well, you know what? None of it matters anyway. 1329 01:01:57,136 --> 01:02:00,347 Because everyone we love could die. 1330 01:02:03,684 --> 01:02:04,977 Because of me. 1331 01:02:08,689 --> 01:02:10,065 [Margy gasps] 1332 01:02:10,149 --> 01:02:11,567 [Tom shushes] 1333 01:02:23,537 --> 01:02:24,538 [radio crackles] 1334 01:02:25,372 --> 01:02:26,957 [pirate 2] I think they're in the manager's house. 1335 01:02:27,040 --> 01:02:28,625 [all gasp] 1336 01:02:35,340 --> 01:02:37,134 -[door creaks] -[shushes] 1337 01:02:42,973 --> 01:02:43,974 [door closes] 1338 01:02:48,770 --> 01:02:50,772 [footsteps overhead] 1339 01:02:54,234 --> 01:02:56,069 [indistinct radio chatter] 1340 01:02:58,947 --> 01:03:00,574 [whispering] I think they heard it. 1341 01:03:00,657 --> 01:03:01,825 [whispering] Why? 1342 01:03:01,909 --> 01:03:03,577 They stopped speaking English. 1343 01:03:05,329 --> 01:03:06,747 Here. Take it. 1344 01:03:08,332 --> 01:03:09,958 [Margy whispering] Don't. Tom. 1345 01:03:12,419 --> 01:03:14,338 We need to get out of here. Where does this tunnel go? 1346 01:03:14,421 --> 01:03:17,549 It leads straight to the pool where the rest of the pirates are. 1347 01:03:17,633 --> 01:03:19,176 Oh, that's not ideal. 1348 01:03:20,969 --> 01:03:22,304 [indistinct radio chatter] 1349 01:03:23,388 --> 01:03:24,765 What are they saying? 1350 01:03:25,349 --> 01:03:26,517 No clue. 1351 01:03:26,600 --> 01:03:30,020 I don't know what language that is, but it ain't Filipino. 1352 01:03:30,771 --> 01:03:32,147 -No. -No. 1353 01:03:36,610 --> 01:03:38,487 No one move. Stay right here. 1354 01:03:39,071 --> 01:03:40,197 Nobody move. 1355 01:03:41,365 --> 01:03:42,866 [Darcy] What are you doing? 1356 01:03:47,204 --> 01:03:49,206 [suspenseful music playing] 1357 01:03:52,709 --> 01:03:53,710 Okay. 1358 01:03:54,127 --> 01:03:56,797 They know someone's here, but they don't know all of us are. 1359 01:03:58,966 --> 01:04:01,969 You stay here until it's over. 1360 01:04:03,303 --> 01:04:04,263 Tom! 1361 01:04:08,642 --> 01:04:10,769 Tom! They're gonna kill you. 1362 01:04:10,852 --> 01:04:12,479 -Don't do this. -[Tom] I have to. 1363 01:04:13,146 --> 01:04:15,399 This isn't about us anymore. This is... 1364 01:04:16,066 --> 01:04:19,069 [sighs] This whole thing is my fault. 1365 01:04:22,281 --> 01:04:24,074 You deserve better. 1366 01:04:24,866 --> 01:04:25,867 Wait, Tom! 1367 01:04:26,618 --> 01:04:27,786 [grunts] 1368 01:04:37,254 --> 01:04:38,380 [groans] 1369 01:04:38,463 --> 01:04:39,881 Uh... Oh, hey. 1370 01:04:39,965 --> 01:04:41,258 Hey, pirates! 1371 01:04:41,341 --> 01:04:43,719 I'm Tom, the groom you guys have been looking for, 1372 01:04:43,802 --> 01:04:44,803 and I am officially surrendering. 1373 01:04:44,886 --> 01:04:45,887 -[pirate 2] Shut up! -[Tom] All right. 1374 01:04:45,971 --> 01:04:47,306 What, you don't like to be called "pirates"? 1375 01:04:47,389 --> 01:04:50,517 I wanted to be a pirate when I was a kid, and you guys are actually doin' it. 1376 01:04:50,601 --> 01:04:52,019 -[pirate 2] Move. -[Tom] You're livin' the dream. 1377 01:04:52,102 --> 01:04:53,061 Congratulations. 1378 01:04:53,520 --> 01:04:56,398 They didn't kill him. Oh, my God. 1379 01:04:56,481 --> 01:04:57,691 He's still alive. 1380 01:04:59,776 --> 01:05:00,777 [pirate 2] Go! 1381 01:05:01,528 --> 01:05:03,739 Keep going. Just move. 1382 01:05:05,907 --> 01:05:08,327 [Carol] Tommy. Oh, my God. It's Tommy. Tommy! 1383 01:05:08,410 --> 01:05:10,162 -[all clamoring] -Shut up! 1384 01:05:10,245 --> 01:05:11,788 -Tommy, where is Darcy? -Shut up! 1385 01:05:11,872 --> 01:05:14,750 [pirate leader] Yes. Where is your bride? 1386 01:05:14,833 --> 01:05:16,501 -I... I don't know. -[stapler clicks] 1387 01:05:17,669 --> 01:05:19,755 Truly. Honestly. I... I... I don't. 1388 01:05:19,838 --> 01:05:22,299 For reals. I don't... I don't... I don't know. 1389 01:05:23,342 --> 01:05:24,801 You're a bad liar. 1390 01:05:24,885 --> 01:05:26,428 Yeah, he is a bad liar. 1391 01:05:26,511 --> 01:05:29,431 Tom, if you know something, the best thing you can do is cooperate. 1392 01:05:29,514 --> 01:05:31,099 All they want is the money. 1393 01:05:32,142 --> 01:05:35,604 You know what? Thank you, Sean, as always, for being the voice of reason. 1394 01:05:35,687 --> 01:05:36,688 Enough! 1395 01:05:36,772 --> 01:05:38,023 -[guns cock] -[guests gasp] 1396 01:05:38,106 --> 01:05:40,275 -Okay, fine! -[Larry] Okay. 1397 01:05:41,234 --> 01:05:42,653 I'll tell you where she is. 1398 01:05:43,862 --> 01:05:45,864 [tense music playing] 1399 01:05:48,367 --> 01:05:49,701 [whispers] Katuk kak ci. 1400 01:05:49,785 --> 01:05:50,744 -[pirate leader] What? -[grunts] 1401 01:05:50,827 --> 01:05:52,120 [guests exclaim] 1402 01:05:52,204 --> 01:05:53,664 Holy shit. What did you say to him? 1403 01:05:53,747 --> 01:05:55,165 [Tom] It's kind of an inside joke, Sean. 1404 01:05:55,248 --> 01:05:56,667 Can you give me a hand? I'm a little woozy. 1405 01:05:56,750 --> 01:05:58,460 [Sean] 'Course, man. Here, I got you. 1406 01:05:58,543 --> 01:06:00,962 -Whoa, whoa! Whoa! -[all screaming] 1407 01:06:01,046 --> 01:06:03,298 -[gun cocks] -What the hell are you doing? 1408 01:06:03,382 --> 01:06:05,342 Don't move or I swear to God, you'll lose an eye. 1409 01:06:05,425 --> 01:06:06,593 Tommy, what are you doing? 1410 01:06:06,677 --> 01:06:08,261 Are you gonna spill the beans or should I? 1411 01:06:08,345 --> 01:06:09,346 What beans? 1412 01:06:09,429 --> 01:06:10,889 [crying] Just spill the beans. 1413 01:06:10,972 --> 01:06:12,557 Sean hired these guys 1414 01:06:12,641 --> 01:06:15,102 to invade our wedding to take Robert's money! 1415 01:06:15,727 --> 01:06:17,270 [Sean] Whoa. No, no, no, no, Tom. 1416 01:06:17,354 --> 01:06:18,438 No, it's true. 1417 01:06:18,522 --> 01:06:20,982 [Sean] That is a serious accusation, 1418 01:06:21,066 --> 01:06:22,442 but it's okay, 1419 01:06:22,526 --> 01:06:24,736 'cause jealousy can get the best of any of us. 1420 01:06:24,820 --> 01:06:26,321 Oh, no, no, no. I'm not jealous. 1421 01:06:26,405 --> 01:06:27,739 -[guests murmur] -[Renata] Kind of. 1422 01:06:27,823 --> 01:06:30,575 It is completely normal for you to see me as a threat 1423 01:06:30,659 --> 01:06:31,993 because Deedee and I 1424 01:06:32,077 --> 01:06:33,870 -had something transcendent. -[scoffs] 1425 01:06:33,954 --> 01:06:36,123 But I am not a bad guy. 1426 01:06:36,206 --> 01:06:38,333 And I definitely don't have anything to do with these pirates. 1427 01:06:38,417 --> 01:06:42,379 Oh, yeah? Then why did he deck me when I told him to go fuck his grandpa? 1428 01:06:42,462 --> 01:06:44,464 Just listen. Listen to yourself. 1429 01:06:44,548 --> 01:06:46,717 I said it in Balinese. These guys are not local. 1430 01:06:46,800 --> 01:06:48,093 They're from Bali. 1431 01:06:48,176 --> 01:06:51,179 Margy said the local pirates just looted and left last time. 1432 01:06:51,263 --> 01:06:52,764 It took 'em, like, 20 minutes. 1433 01:06:52,848 --> 01:06:54,266 Oh, God. "Last time"? 1434 01:06:54,349 --> 01:06:56,268 We were clearly targeted. This whole thing was planned. 1435 01:06:56,351 --> 01:06:59,146 They knew about Robert's money. 1436 01:06:59,229 --> 01:07:02,566 And none of it made sense until I found this. 1437 01:07:02,649 --> 01:07:04,276 [Sean grunting] 1438 01:07:06,111 --> 01:07:07,696 Ricky, grab my... Grab the... the... 1439 01:07:07,779 --> 01:07:09,281 -[Ricky] Yeah, yeah. -In my front pocket. Grab... 1440 01:07:09,364 --> 01:07:10,490 There's an envelope in my front pocket. 1441 01:07:10,574 --> 01:07:12,659 -[all exclaiming] -Just grab it! 1442 01:07:13,118 --> 01:07:14,161 There you go. 1443 01:07:14,244 --> 01:07:15,704 A-ha! 1444 01:07:16,121 --> 01:07:17,372 [pirate leader] Slow, slow. Go slow. 1445 01:07:17,456 --> 01:07:18,707 [Tom laughs] 1446 01:07:19,166 --> 01:07:20,375 Your wedding invitation? 1447 01:07:20,459 --> 01:07:23,003 [Tom] Yes, but I got it off of one of these guys. 1448 01:07:23,086 --> 01:07:25,464 Now, how did they get that invitation? 1449 01:07:25,547 --> 01:07:27,132 -[Carol] I don't know. -[Larry] Uh... 1450 01:07:27,215 --> 01:07:29,593 It had to be given to him by an invited guest. 1451 01:07:30,510 --> 01:07:33,430 Now, what invited guest could that be? Huh? 1452 01:07:36,016 --> 01:07:37,434 Ricky, op... open it. 1453 01:07:39,227 --> 01:07:40,687 A-ha! 1454 01:07:42,147 --> 01:07:46,610 This asshat thought it was appropriate to show up to a wedding he didn't RSVP to! 1455 01:07:46,693 --> 01:07:48,779 He didn't RSVP! 1456 01:07:48,862 --> 01:07:50,781 Mom, that's not the main issue right now. 1457 01:07:50,864 --> 01:07:54,367 Look, I'm a mother. I can be upset about a lot of things at the same time. 1458 01:07:54,451 --> 01:07:55,994 I think, right now, we should be upset about one thing. 1459 01:07:56,578 --> 01:07:59,164 -Oh, okay. -[Tom] Sean had these guys 1460 01:07:59,247 --> 01:08:01,666 crash our wedding so that he could get a big fat ransom 1461 01:08:01,750 --> 01:08:03,251 from his best friend, Robert. 1462 01:08:03,335 --> 01:08:04,920 [guests exclaiming] 1463 01:08:06,505 --> 01:08:08,131 Huh? Yeah! 1464 01:08:08,215 --> 01:08:10,217 -[Sean] Bob... Bob. -[Tom] Yes! 1465 01:08:10,300 --> 01:08:11,718 This is because I didn't give you 1466 01:08:11,802 --> 01:08:13,553 that investment money you wanted, isn't it? 1467 01:08:13,637 --> 01:08:15,055 -Yeah. -No, no, it's not like that. 1468 01:08:15,138 --> 01:08:16,807 -[exclaims in Spanish] -How could... Papi. 1469 01:08:16,890 --> 01:08:19,559 How could you believe that I would come here and betray ev... 1470 01:08:19,643 --> 01:08:20,852 [Tom] Believe it, Robert. Believe it. 1471 01:08:21,978 --> 01:08:23,939 -That's right. That's right. -Shit. 1472 01:08:24,314 --> 01:08:25,816 -[grunts] -[all gasp] 1473 01:08:30,779 --> 01:08:31,905 [guests clamoring] 1474 01:08:31,988 --> 01:08:35,659 See? See, I told ya! I told ya! 1475 01:08:36,868 --> 01:08:41,540 [Margy] These lanterns are so intricate. Is there a note in it? 1476 01:08:46,419 --> 01:08:48,797 "Be excellent to each other." 1477 01:08:48,880 --> 01:08:50,549 -[Ace] Hmm. -[Margy] Hmm. Huh. 1478 01:08:53,802 --> 01:08:56,263 [wheezing cry] 1479 01:08:58,515 --> 01:09:01,518 It's from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. 1480 01:09:02,727 --> 01:09:06,356 Tom wanted to put a movie quote in each one of the lanterns, and I... 1481 01:09:06,439 --> 01:09:09,734 I thought it was stupid, but it's not. 1482 01:09:09,818 --> 01:09:12,028 It's sweet. 1483 01:09:12,112 --> 01:09:14,030 And I messed it all up. 1484 01:09:14,114 --> 01:09:16,157 I don't know how you guys do it. 1485 01:09:16,241 --> 01:09:19,286 You must have something really special. [sniffles] 1486 01:09:19,744 --> 01:09:22,330 -Not really. -Oi. 1487 01:09:22,414 --> 01:09:26,209 Uh, I mean, it is special but it is not magic. 1488 01:09:26,293 --> 01:09:28,378 We just made a vow. 1489 01:09:28,461 --> 01:09:31,131 And we've messed things up thousands of times. 1490 01:09:31,214 --> 01:09:35,176 But when we break something, we fix it. 1491 01:09:37,596 --> 01:09:39,347 [patting Margy] 1492 01:09:46,313 --> 01:09:48,315 [dramatic music playing] 1493 01:09:49,691 --> 01:09:53,069 [Margy] Darcy, we come with you, but we don't want to. 1494 01:09:59,743 --> 01:10:01,745 Tommy finally made the big leagues. 1495 01:10:01,828 --> 01:10:04,039 Yeah, I never heard that one before. 1496 01:10:04,456 --> 01:10:06,124 I know you haven't. 1497 01:10:06,833 --> 01:10:09,336 -Where is she? -I don't know. 1498 01:10:09,419 --> 01:10:10,921 I don't... I... I don't... I don't know. 1499 01:10:11,004 --> 01:10:13,798 -You're lying. -No, I'm... I'm... Honestly, 1500 01:10:13,882 --> 01:10:15,425 -I don't know. -Okay. 1501 01:10:16,551 --> 01:10:18,094 -[grunts] -[guests exclaiming] 1502 01:10:19,054 --> 01:10:20,096 God damn it! 1503 01:10:20,180 --> 01:10:21,473 -Would you stop doing that? -[Caro] Yeah. 1504 01:10:21,556 --> 01:10:24,434 -He'll do it again. -[Tom] Fine. Fine. 1505 01:10:24,517 --> 01:10:25,602 I was lying. 1506 01:10:25,685 --> 01:10:27,479 [guests agreeing] 1507 01:10:27,562 --> 01:10:30,690 After we cut ourselves loose, Darcy and I got into a fight. 1508 01:10:30,774 --> 01:10:33,193 She hopped in a golf cart to go look for cell reception 1509 01:10:33,276 --> 01:10:35,946 up by the northern coast near the cliffs, and then I... 1510 01:10:36,029 --> 01:10:38,114 I came back here to try to rescue everyone. 1511 01:10:38,657 --> 01:10:39,824 [Ricky] Come on! 1512 01:10:43,995 --> 01:10:45,205 Okay. 1513 01:10:45,288 --> 01:10:46,331 [sighs] 1514 01:10:46,831 --> 01:10:48,291 [pirate leader] We'll take the chopper to find her. 1515 01:10:48,375 --> 01:10:49,793 I'm comin' with you. 1516 01:10:49,876 --> 01:10:51,920 I've been watching you mess this up all day. 1517 01:10:52,003 --> 01:10:53,672 This is my show now. 1518 01:10:53,755 --> 01:10:55,131 [mouthing] Wow, that's really good. 1519 01:10:55,215 --> 01:10:56,967 We're doing this my way now. You got it? 1520 01:10:57,884 --> 01:10:58,969 We need collateral. 1521 01:11:00,762 --> 01:11:02,847 [unsettling music playing] 1522 01:11:09,521 --> 01:11:10,522 Get the girlfriend. 1523 01:11:10,605 --> 01:11:12,899 -[all clamoring] -[pirate 1] Hey. Come. 1524 01:11:12,983 --> 01:11:14,943 -Here. Move! -Ow! Hey. 1525 01:11:15,026 --> 01:11:16,569 Oh, no. 1526 01:11:16,653 --> 01:11:18,697 -[pirate 1] Go. Move! -Please, I'm a Gemini. 1527 01:11:18,780 --> 01:11:20,490 I bruise easily. 1528 01:11:21,449 --> 01:11:22,784 -[pirate 1] Go! -[Harriett] Ow! Ow! Ow! 1529 01:11:22,867 --> 01:11:24,661 -Oh, my God! -[Sean] Robert? Robert! 1530 01:11:25,370 --> 01:11:27,622 When I get back, that money better be in my account. 1531 01:11:27,706 --> 01:11:29,374 And if it's not, she's dead. 1532 01:11:29,457 --> 01:11:31,376 And I treated you just like a son. 1533 01:11:32,043 --> 01:11:33,962 -You're stuck with Tommy now. -Robert. 1534 01:11:34,045 --> 01:11:36,256 -Well, what's wrong with that? -Fuck off. 1535 01:11:36,339 --> 01:11:39,009 -[dramatic music playing] -[imperceptible] 1536 01:11:46,057 --> 01:11:47,350 [soft thud] 1537 01:11:49,352 --> 01:11:50,562 [thud] 1538 01:11:52,939 --> 01:11:54,274 [pirates chattering] 1539 01:11:54,691 --> 01:11:56,901 [indistinct chatter] 1540 01:11:58,486 --> 01:12:00,405 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 1541 01:12:01,781 --> 01:12:03,616 -[cocks gun] -[all exclaiming] 1542 01:12:04,451 --> 01:12:05,493 Darcy... 1543 01:12:05,577 --> 01:12:10,373 Tom, you promised you wouldn't leave my side this weekend. 1544 01:12:10,457 --> 01:12:11,875 Darcy, what are you doing? 1545 01:12:12,292 --> 01:12:13,460 Tom, listen. 1546 01:12:13,960 --> 01:12:16,546 I'm still mad at you for picking this pirate island, 1547 01:12:16,629 --> 01:12:19,215 but I messed up too. I should've told you... 1548 01:12:20,508 --> 01:12:22,427 how scared I was to get married. 1549 01:12:23,178 --> 01:12:24,512 That wasn't fair. 1550 01:12:24,596 --> 01:12:26,431 You worked so hard on this pirate island wedding. 1551 01:12:26,514 --> 01:12:28,516 Okay, no, no, no. Please stop calling it that. 1552 01:12:28,600 --> 01:12:30,894 I just worried that if I told you... 1553 01:12:33,521 --> 01:12:34,939 that I would lose you. 1554 01:12:38,485 --> 01:12:40,612 And I can't lose you. 1555 01:12:43,198 --> 01:12:44,449 I need you. 1556 01:12:48,536 --> 01:12:49,746 Okay? 1557 01:12:53,416 --> 01:12:54,417 [shouts] Okay? 1558 01:12:54,501 --> 01:12:55,418 -[all clamor] -Okay. 1559 01:12:55,502 --> 01:12:57,087 -Okay. -[Tom] Okay. 1560 01:12:57,170 --> 01:12:59,214 This is so much better than South Pacific. 1561 01:12:59,297 --> 01:13:00,757 And Mom, Dad? 1562 01:13:01,299 --> 01:13:03,176 -[all exclaiming] -[Jamie screams] 1563 01:13:03,259 --> 01:13:04,260 Whoa! 1564 01:13:04,344 --> 01:13:05,386 -[Ricky] Babe. -What the fuck? 1565 01:13:05,470 --> 01:13:06,429 Did you just shoot me? 1566 01:13:06,805 --> 01:13:08,681 Stop shooting your sister! 1567 01:13:08,765 --> 01:13:11,101 I didn't mean to. It was a mistake. I... 1568 01:13:11,893 --> 01:13:13,394 [all gasp] 1569 01:13:14,646 --> 01:13:16,397 Mom, Dad, apologize to Tom. 1570 01:13:16,481 --> 01:13:18,024 -What? Why? -What? 1571 01:13:18,108 --> 01:13:20,652 For criticizing this beautiful wedding that he planned, 1572 01:13:20,735 --> 01:13:23,655 and for never making him feel welcome in our family. 1573 01:13:23,738 --> 01:13:25,740 And for inviting Sean to our wedding. 1574 01:13:25,824 --> 01:13:27,617 Okay, honey, but I think there's 1575 01:13:27,700 --> 01:13:29,285 -a more pressing issue... -Apologize! 1576 01:13:29,369 --> 01:13:31,412 -[all exclaiming] -He is the best person 1577 01:13:31,496 --> 01:13:32,497 that I know. 1578 01:13:32,580 --> 01:13:34,582 And if you say one more bad thing about him, 1579 01:13:34,666 --> 01:13:37,001 I swear I will shoot you like I shot Jamie. 1580 01:13:38,711 --> 01:13:39,712 Tom, I'm sorry. Sorry. 1581 01:13:39,796 --> 01:13:41,005 -Tom, sorry. Sorry. -We love you. 1582 01:13:41,089 --> 01:13:42,173 -Oh, hey, it's fine. -You're the best person 1583 01:13:42,257 --> 01:13:43,508 -I've ever met. -[Tom] It's okay. I love you. 1584 01:13:43,591 --> 01:13:44,843 -We love you like family. -I love you, too. 1585 01:13:44,926 --> 01:13:46,761 -All right. It's all good. -I love this place. Beautiful. 1586 01:13:46,845 --> 01:13:48,096 And, Carol, Larry... 1587 01:13:48,179 --> 01:13:49,472 -[all gasp] -I'm sorry! I'm sorry! 1588 01:13:49,556 --> 01:13:53,393 This was more about me and my family, but we should get lunch sometime. 1589 01:13:53,476 --> 01:13:54,477 -I would... -Oh, yeah, 1590 01:13:54,561 --> 01:13:55,979 -lunch sounds great. Yeah. -We love eating. 1591 01:13:56,062 --> 01:13:58,273 It's hard for anyone to live up to your perfect marriage. 1592 01:13:58,356 --> 01:14:00,441 [chuckles] Who told you we had a perfect marriage? 1593 01:14:00,525 --> 01:14:02,777 Oh, come on, Mom. You guys fought, like, once. 1594 01:14:02,861 --> 01:14:04,154 It was about who loved the dog more. 1595 01:14:04,237 --> 01:14:06,364 I mean, what is not perfect about your marriage? 1596 01:14:06,990 --> 01:14:09,993 Well, I made love to your Aunt Marie. 1597 01:14:10,076 --> 01:14:11,327 -[all exclaiming] -[Ricky] What? 1598 01:14:11,411 --> 01:14:12,871 -[Larry] Yeah. -[Carol] Then I went out 1599 01:14:12,954 --> 01:14:14,622 and started doing all this weird sex stuff 1600 01:14:14,706 --> 01:14:15,874 with Jim Roberts. 1601 01:14:15,957 --> 01:14:17,208 [Larry] Yeah. You and Jim Roberts 1602 01:14:17,292 --> 01:14:19,085 -went on for a couple months. -[Carol] Yes. 1603 01:14:19,169 --> 01:14:21,713 -Because our bodies just fit. -[man] Holy... 1604 01:14:21,796 --> 01:14:24,465 [Carol] In the end, Jim Roberts just wasn't your dad. 1605 01:14:24,549 --> 01:14:26,801 And Aunt Marie realized that she had a sex addiction. 1606 01:14:27,468 --> 01:14:30,221 But then you know what? We worked it out. 1607 01:14:33,183 --> 01:14:34,934 These are some incredible breakthroughs, 1608 01:14:35,018 --> 01:14:36,352 -right? I mean... -[pirate 2] Give me that! 1609 01:14:36,436 --> 01:14:37,437 [all screaming] 1610 01:14:37,520 --> 01:14:38,813 You remember me, huh? 1611 01:14:38,897 --> 01:14:40,857 Look, you burn my face. Huh? 1612 01:14:40,940 --> 01:14:42,483 Yes, I know. I still feel really bad about that. 1613 01:14:46,029 --> 01:14:47,989 Everybody, in the pool! Now! 1614 01:14:48,072 --> 01:14:50,283 -[fires gun] -[all screaming] 1615 01:14:50,366 --> 01:14:52,118 Get in the pool! In! 1616 01:14:52,952 --> 01:14:54,412 Go! Go! 1617 01:14:54,954 --> 01:14:56,623 [Tom panting] 1618 01:14:57,582 --> 01:14:59,209 -Hey, you okay? -Yes. 1619 01:14:59,292 --> 01:15:00,960 -Yeah? -Are we missing people? 1620 01:15:01,461 --> 01:15:03,922 Yeah. Turns out your boy Sean's an asshole. 1621 01:15:05,798 --> 01:15:06,841 We have the bride. 1622 01:15:06,925 --> 01:15:08,551 -[helicopter whirring] -[on radio] Do you copy? 1623 01:15:09,886 --> 01:15:11,346 Do you copy? 1624 01:15:16,893 --> 01:15:18,311 Up! Up! 1625 01:15:18,394 --> 01:15:20,521 -[indistinct talking] -Listen to me. Move. 1626 01:15:20,605 --> 01:15:23,483 Balinese? So these guys are Balinese? 1627 01:15:23,566 --> 01:15:26,402 And Sean is full of shit, and they took Harriett hostage? 1628 01:15:26,486 --> 01:15:27,528 It doesn't make sense. 1629 01:15:27,612 --> 01:15:29,864 Why would Sean take Harriett hostage on the helicopter 1630 01:15:29,948 --> 01:15:31,783 when she was already being held hostage here? 1631 01:15:31,866 --> 01:15:34,410 I don't know. Maybe he wanted to take her extra hostage. 1632 01:15:34,494 --> 01:15:36,371 [Larry] I think Harriett is in on it. 1633 01:15:36,829 --> 01:15:39,415 -[Tom] What? -[Darcy] What do you mean? 1634 01:15:45,004 --> 01:15:46,923 Harriett and Sean... 1635 01:15:47,966 --> 01:15:49,259 are boyfriend-girlfriend. 1636 01:15:49,342 --> 01:15:50,802 -Oh, come on. -Boyfriend-girlfriend? 1637 01:15:50,885 --> 01:15:52,262 [Larry] No, no. Look. 1638 01:15:52,929 --> 01:15:54,639 This is from last night. 1639 01:15:54,722 --> 01:15:56,641 Here we go. [grunts] 1640 01:15:56,724 --> 01:15:58,059 [Latin dance music playing] 1641 01:15:58,142 --> 01:15:59,769 Let's see. 1642 01:15:59,852 --> 01:16:02,689 Uh, hold on. Let me find it. 1643 01:16:03,690 --> 01:16:05,441 Oh. Oh, boy. 1644 01:16:05,525 --> 01:16:07,110 Yeah. There you go. 1645 01:16:08,278 --> 01:16:09,988 [all exclaim] 1646 01:16:15,702 --> 01:16:17,745 What? Go ahead. Say it. 1647 01:16:17,829 --> 01:16:18,913 Roberto... 1648 01:16:22,834 --> 01:16:24,544 Lo siento. 1649 01:16:27,046 --> 01:16:28,298 Gracias. 1650 01:16:29,590 --> 01:16:30,925 De nada. 1651 01:16:32,427 --> 01:16:34,804 [dramatic music playing] 1652 01:16:34,887 --> 01:16:36,055 [pirate leader] There! 1653 01:16:42,186 --> 01:16:45,481 Sean, you promised this job would make us rich. 1654 01:16:45,565 --> 01:16:47,775 So far, all it's done is killed four of my men. 1655 01:16:47,859 --> 01:16:49,277 Man, you know we can fix this. 1656 01:16:49,360 --> 01:16:51,946 Deal is off. I keep the money. 1657 01:16:52,030 --> 01:16:54,157 You walk away with your life. 1658 01:16:54,240 --> 01:16:56,784 I don't wanna hear it. You and I had an arrangement. 1659 01:16:56,868 --> 01:16:59,245 Sean, be reasonable. He saved us. 1660 01:16:59,329 --> 01:17:01,205 -We're lucky to be alive. -What are you talking about? 1661 01:17:01,289 --> 01:17:03,541 Listen to your woman. 1662 01:17:03,624 --> 01:17:05,043 -[yelps] -Oh. 1663 01:17:05,126 --> 01:17:07,754 It's okay. It's just a pressure point. Relax. 1664 01:17:08,296 --> 01:17:10,006 Just breathe into it. 1665 01:17:10,757 --> 01:17:11,883 What? 1666 01:17:13,509 --> 01:17:14,594 What? 1667 01:17:15,094 --> 01:17:16,512 Take us back down. 1668 01:17:16,596 --> 01:17:18,806 We'll finish the job ourselves. 1669 01:17:18,890 --> 01:17:20,433 -Babe. -What? 1670 01:17:21,642 --> 01:17:23,895 -Excellent idea. -Yeah, I know. 1671 01:17:23,978 --> 01:17:26,522 [screams] I have to do everything myself! 1672 01:17:29,317 --> 01:17:31,527 What are we gonna do? They'll be back any minute. 1673 01:17:31,611 --> 01:17:33,529 -Just... -[pirate 2] Hey, hey, hey! 1674 01:17:34,197 --> 01:17:36,866 No whispers. Or I throw grenade in the pool. 1675 01:17:42,955 --> 01:17:43,956 [whispering] Okay. 1676 01:17:44,665 --> 01:17:47,001 Go with me, okay? 1677 01:17:47,085 --> 01:17:48,294 Just go with me. 1678 01:17:49,003 --> 01:17:50,338 [in normal tone] Hey, everybody. 1679 01:17:51,547 --> 01:17:53,633 Look, I know this may not be the best time, 1680 01:17:54,842 --> 01:17:57,220 but this may be our only chance to have our wedding. 1681 01:17:59,013 --> 01:18:00,223 What do you say, Darcy? 1682 01:18:01,432 --> 01:18:02,934 Yeah, I... I love it. 1683 01:18:03,017 --> 01:18:06,479 Can... Can we do bride's side on the left and groom's on the right? 1684 01:18:10,108 --> 01:18:11,484 [all agreeing] 1685 01:18:11,567 --> 01:18:13,069 Hey, Margy, will you officiate? 1686 01:18:14,028 --> 01:18:16,322 [pirate 2] Hey, will you stop? Stop it! Stop it now! 1687 01:18:16,406 --> 01:18:17,782 [Robert] Wait, wait. If... 1688 01:18:17,865 --> 01:18:21,202 If you let my daughter have her wedding, I'll... I'll release the funds. 1689 01:18:28,209 --> 01:18:29,585 Okay, let's go. 1690 01:18:36,801 --> 01:18:38,052 Let's go. 1691 01:18:38,845 --> 01:18:40,054 Thanks, Dad. 1692 01:18:40,555 --> 01:18:41,722 It's okay, princess. 1693 01:18:41,806 --> 01:18:43,599 There are some things that are more important than money. 1694 01:18:44,725 --> 01:18:46,978 I don't know what they are, but I think, uh... 1695 01:18:58,990 --> 01:18:59,991 [Darcy sighs] 1696 01:19:00,074 --> 01:19:01,659 Hope you know what you're doing. 1697 01:19:07,874 --> 01:19:10,001 [Carol hums] 1698 01:19:15,131 --> 01:19:17,675 ♪ The strands in your eyes ♪ 1699 01:19:17,758 --> 01:19:20,595 ♪ They color them wonderful ♪ 1700 01:19:20,678 --> 01:19:24,891 ♪ Stops me And steals my breath ♪ 1701 01:19:25,558 --> 01:19:27,977 [both] ♪ Emeralds from mountains ♪ 1702 01:19:28,227 --> 01:19:30,646 ♪ Thrust from the sky ♪ 1703 01:19:30,730 --> 01:19:34,734 ♪ Never revealing their depth ♪ 1704 01:19:35,318 --> 01:19:37,153 ♪ And tell me ♪ 1705 01:19:37,653 --> 01:19:40,490 ♪ We belong together ♪ 1706 01:19:40,573 --> 01:19:44,994 ♪ Dress it up with the trappings of love ♪ 1707 01:19:45,077 --> 01:19:47,580 ♪ I'll be captivated ♪ 1708 01:19:47,663 --> 01:19:50,291 ♪ I'll hang from your lips ♪ 1709 01:19:50,374 --> 01:19:52,585 ♪ Instead of the gallows ♪ 1710 01:19:52,668 --> 01:19:58,090 ♪ Of heartaches That hang from above ♪ 1711 01:19:58,174 --> 01:20:03,679 ♪ And I'll be your cryin' shoulder ♪ 1712 01:20:03,763 --> 01:20:08,226 ♪ I'll be love's suicide ♪ 1713 01:20:08,309 --> 01:20:14,065 ♪ And I'll be better When I'm older ♪ 1714 01:20:14,148 --> 01:20:19,028 ♪ I'll be the greatest fan of your life ♪ 1715 01:20:19,111 --> 01:20:24,242 ♪ And I'll be your cryin' shoulder ♪ 1716 01:20:24,325 --> 01:20:29,038 ♪ I'll be love's suicide ♪ 1717 01:20:29,121 --> 01:20:31,958 -♪ And I'll be ♪ -[Renata] ♪ I'll be ♪ 1718 01:20:32,041 --> 01:20:34,502 ♪ Better when I'm older ♪ 1719 01:20:34,585 --> 01:20:39,966 ♪ I'll be the greatest fan of your life ♪ 1720 01:20:40,049 --> 01:20:41,175 ♪ I'll be ♪ 1721 01:20:41,259 --> 01:20:42,885 [clamoring] 1722 01:20:43,427 --> 01:20:45,096 [Carol screaming] 1723 01:20:45,846 --> 01:20:48,099 -Whoa, whoa, whoa. -[cocks gun] 1724 01:20:48,182 --> 01:20:49,642 I think you'd regret that. 1725 01:20:51,435 --> 01:20:53,020 [all gasp] 1726 01:20:53,980 --> 01:20:55,606 [pirate 2] Oh! No, no. Stop. 1727 01:20:55,690 --> 01:20:56,774 I'm fairly new to grenades. 1728 01:20:56,857 --> 01:21:00,736 But I'm pretty sure that if you shoot me, this springy thing pops off, 1729 01:21:00,820 --> 01:21:02,697 and then this thing blows us all away. 1730 01:21:02,780 --> 01:21:04,031 -Ain't that right, babe? -That's right, baby. 1731 01:21:04,115 --> 01:21:06,242 -[pirate 2] No, no, no. -[woman] What the... 1732 01:21:06,742 --> 01:21:07,827 Drop the guns. 1733 01:21:10,329 --> 01:21:11,831 -[pirate 2] No. -[grunts] 1734 01:21:11,914 --> 01:21:14,041 [all screaming and clamoring] 1735 01:21:22,800 --> 01:21:23,926 [muffled screaming] 1736 01:21:24,010 --> 01:21:25,469 I can't throw that far. It won't reach him. 1737 01:21:27,388 --> 01:21:28,472 [cocks gun] 1738 01:21:28,556 --> 01:21:30,641 Nobody fucks with my family. 1739 01:21:30,725 --> 01:21:33,102 [rock music playing] 1740 01:21:43,321 --> 01:21:45,406 Darcy? Give me a meatball. 1741 01:21:45,698 --> 01:21:46,866 -[gun clicks] -Shit. 1742 01:21:50,036 --> 01:21:51,662 [all exclaim] 1743 01:21:53,581 --> 01:21:55,541 [all exclaiming] 1744 01:21:55,625 --> 01:21:57,668 [fireworks whistling] 1745 01:22:02,923 --> 01:22:04,258 I know where to go! 1746 01:22:04,342 --> 01:22:06,218 Let's get moving! Out of the pool! 1747 01:22:06,302 --> 01:22:07,595 -[Tom] Yeah! -Come on! Come, come, come! 1748 01:22:07,678 --> 01:22:09,055 [Darcy] Get out of the pool! Come on! 1749 01:22:11,599 --> 01:22:14,018 -[Tom] Yeah, let's go. -[Ace] Margy! The spa! 1750 01:22:14,101 --> 01:22:15,561 [Darcy] It's safe in the spa! 1751 01:22:15,645 --> 01:22:17,855 [Harriett] They should've been killing hostages every hour. 1752 01:22:17,938 --> 01:22:20,358 Killing people works, Sean. 1753 01:22:20,441 --> 01:22:21,984 -Fuck. -Look, give me one chance 1754 01:22:22,068 --> 01:22:23,069 to convince Darcy. 1755 01:22:23,152 --> 01:22:25,571 -All right? One. -Fine. One chance. 1756 01:22:27,323 --> 01:22:28,866 Thank you, baby. 1757 01:22:29,867 --> 01:22:32,078 This is not a moment right now, Sean. 1758 01:22:34,038 --> 01:22:36,165 -Move, come on! Come on! -[pirate] All right! 1759 01:22:37,375 --> 01:22:40,294 Mom! Mom, we're gonna go get help. 1760 01:22:40,378 --> 01:22:42,380 I need you to take care of them. Can you do that? 1761 01:22:45,132 --> 01:22:46,467 And Carol... 1762 01:22:47,718 --> 01:22:49,428 thank you for the cake knife. 1763 01:22:50,721 --> 01:22:52,515 I fucking love this cake knife. 1764 01:22:52,598 --> 01:22:54,308 [Carol chuckles] 1765 01:22:59,271 --> 01:23:01,732 ["No ordinary" by Labrinth playing] 1766 01:23:04,193 --> 01:23:06,529 It's just you and me now. Let's go. 1767 01:23:07,988 --> 01:23:09,240 ♪ Yeah ♪ 1768 01:23:10,741 --> 01:23:17,707 ♪ Yeah, me in awe of you now ♪ 1769 01:23:19,333 --> 01:23:20,668 ♪ Hmm ♪ 1770 01:23:22,086 --> 01:23:24,964 -♪ This song call ♪ -♪ Unconditional ♪ 1771 01:23:25,047 --> 01:23:28,551 -♪ This show no devotion ♪ -♪ Devotion ♪ 1772 01:23:28,634 --> 01:23:31,470 ♪ Got my heart so wide open ♪ 1773 01:23:31,554 --> 01:23:33,305 ♪ Lifting my spirit Like a Holy Ghost ♪ 1774 01:23:33,389 --> 01:23:36,183 -♪ All this ♪ -♪ All this love, love ♪ 1775 01:23:36,267 --> 01:23:40,187 -♪ No ordinary love ♪ -♪ Ordinary love ♪ 1776 01:23:41,814 --> 01:23:43,399 ♪ Yeah ♪ 1777 01:23:45,401 --> 01:23:46,819 ♪ La, la, la, la La-la-la-la ♪ 1778 01:23:46,902 --> 01:23:48,028 [phone camera clicks] 1779 01:23:48,112 --> 01:23:50,906 ♪ Ah, la, la, la, la La-la-la-la ♪ 1780 01:23:50,990 --> 01:23:53,033 ♪ La, la, la, la La-la-la-la ♪ 1781 01:23:53,117 --> 01:23:56,495 ♪ La, la, la, la La-la-la-la-love ♪ 1782 01:23:56,579 --> 01:23:58,998 ♪ La-la, la-la, la-la, la-la ♪ 1783 01:23:59,081 --> 01:24:02,042 ♪ La, la, la, la La-la-la-la ♪ 1784 01:24:03,335 --> 01:24:05,296 [imperceptible] 1785 01:24:17,433 --> 01:24:20,311 ♪ I need you in my arm ♪ 1786 01:24:20,644 --> 01:24:22,062 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 1787 01:24:24,148 --> 01:24:25,274 ♪ Hey ♪ 1788 01:24:30,029 --> 01:24:36,702 ♪ All this no ordinary love ♪ 1789 01:24:36,786 --> 01:24:38,454 ♪ Love, love, love, love ♪ 1790 01:24:38,537 --> 01:24:39,789 ♪ Yeah ♪ 1791 01:24:43,167 --> 01:24:44,960 [Tom] Hey, wasn't this the plan with too many steps? 1792 01:24:54,929 --> 01:24:56,263 You did this for me? 1793 01:24:57,765 --> 01:24:59,099 [Tom] Is this what you wanted? 1794 01:24:59,183 --> 01:25:00,768 Just you and me in the middle of the ocean? 1795 01:25:03,604 --> 01:25:06,065 Darcy, I'm sorry I stopped listening to you. 1796 01:25:06,148 --> 01:25:08,275 I just thought that if I planned the perfect wedding, 1797 01:25:08,359 --> 01:25:10,277 we could have the perfect marriage, but... 1798 01:25:11,070 --> 01:25:12,446 But that doesn't exist. 1799 01:25:13,072 --> 01:25:14,740 I mean, look at my parents. 1800 01:25:14,824 --> 01:25:16,992 My Aunt Marie, the sex addict. 1801 01:25:18,369 --> 01:25:21,622 I just wanna be with you. All that matters is you. 1802 01:25:22,373 --> 01:25:23,791 We don't ever have to get married. 1803 01:25:25,501 --> 01:25:27,419 And if we survive this thing, can we just... 1804 01:25:28,963 --> 01:25:30,214 Can we start over? 1805 01:25:32,508 --> 01:25:33,884 -[gunshots] -[Darcy screams] 1806 01:25:36,178 --> 01:25:37,513 [Tom] Go, go, go, go. 1807 01:25:37,930 --> 01:25:39,765 [Sean] Deedee, listen to me! 1808 01:25:40,432 --> 01:25:43,269 Deedee, this is a huge misunderstanding, all right? 1809 01:25:43,352 --> 01:25:47,773 Let's go back to the resort, talk this over. I do not want to hurt you. 1810 01:25:47,857 --> 01:25:49,400 Then stop shooting at us, asshole! 1811 01:25:49,483 --> 01:25:51,402 And stop calling her Deedee! 1812 01:25:51,485 --> 01:25:53,070 -[Darcy] Fuck! -Oh, Jesus! 1813 01:25:54,280 --> 01:25:55,739 This thing is awful! 1814 01:25:56,365 --> 01:25:57,908 [screaming] Yeah! 1815 01:25:58,242 --> 01:26:00,911 Asshole! Fuckin' leave! What the fuck? 1816 01:26:02,496 --> 01:26:05,541 God, I can't believe you, Sean! When did you turn into such a monster? 1817 01:26:06,166 --> 01:26:07,626 [Sean] I am not a monster! 1818 01:26:07,710 --> 01:26:09,086 I'm an entrepreneur! 1819 01:26:09,169 --> 01:26:10,629 I think I'm out of ammo. 1820 01:26:10,713 --> 01:26:12,089 -Are you sure? -Not at all. 1821 01:26:12,548 --> 01:26:13,632 Hey. 1822 01:26:18,762 --> 01:26:19,889 -Yeah. -[Sean] I don't wanna do this. 1823 01:26:19,972 --> 01:26:21,307 -[gunshot] -I'm a good guy, damn it! 1824 01:26:21,390 --> 01:26:22,892 [gunshots] 1825 01:26:22,975 --> 01:26:24,393 -[gun clicking] -Shit. 1826 01:26:24,977 --> 01:26:26,395 [Sean] Your boat's dead. 1827 01:26:26,478 --> 01:26:29,940 We're both out of ammo. Let's just go back and we can work this whole thing out. 1828 01:26:30,024 --> 01:26:31,400 [breathing heavily] 1829 01:26:34,528 --> 01:26:35,571 [grunts] 1830 01:26:35,654 --> 01:26:37,364 [both grunting] 1831 01:26:37,948 --> 01:26:39,700 [engine starts] 1832 01:26:39,783 --> 01:26:40,993 [Darcy] Tom! 1833 01:26:41,076 --> 01:26:42,286 [Tom grunts] 1834 01:26:44,455 --> 01:26:45,539 [Tom] Go, go! 1835 01:26:47,082 --> 01:26:49,168 [tense music playing] 1836 01:26:52,504 --> 01:26:53,547 [Sean yells] 1837 01:26:56,425 --> 01:26:58,469 [helicopter whirring] 1838 01:26:59,637 --> 01:27:01,639 [intense music playing] 1839 01:27:21,533 --> 01:27:23,327 Darcy, turn this boat around right now. 1840 01:27:24,745 --> 01:27:25,746 [Darcy] No. 1841 01:27:28,457 --> 01:27:31,126 You're a piece of shit, Sean, but I know you can't kill me. 1842 01:27:31,210 --> 01:27:32,211 You're right. 1843 01:27:32,753 --> 01:27:34,630 But I would love to kill this guy. 1844 01:27:35,130 --> 01:27:37,841 You just keep messing things up, man. This is on you. 1845 01:27:37,925 --> 01:27:40,886 I don't wanna do this. I'm a good guy. 1846 01:27:41,971 --> 01:27:43,305 No, you're not. 1847 01:27:44,098 --> 01:27:46,183 All right, you're right. I'm not. 1848 01:27:46,684 --> 01:27:47,810 [Darcy shrieks] 1849 01:27:47,893 --> 01:27:49,061 [Tom gasps] 1850 01:27:49,520 --> 01:27:50,896 -[engine revs] -[Sean screams] 1851 01:27:50,980 --> 01:27:53,065 [music continues] 1852 01:27:54,024 --> 01:27:55,567 [both grunting] 1853 01:27:58,070 --> 01:27:58,904 [whimpers] 1854 01:28:00,990 --> 01:28:02,157 Sean! 1855 01:28:04,994 --> 01:28:06,453 [grunting continues] 1856 01:28:08,288 --> 01:28:10,040 You were a pity invite! 1857 01:28:10,124 --> 01:28:11,458 -[Darcy grunts] -Shit! 1858 01:28:11,542 --> 01:28:13,293 Whoa! Whoa! 1859 01:28:19,591 --> 01:28:21,385 No! Fuck! 1860 01:28:21,468 --> 01:28:22,886 [groans] 1861 01:28:22,970 --> 01:28:24,680 [Sean and Tom grunting] 1862 01:28:28,058 --> 01:28:29,101 [Tom screams] 1863 01:28:33,897 --> 01:28:34,940 [yelps] 1864 01:28:40,195 --> 01:28:41,196 -[gunshot] -[yelps] 1865 01:28:46,744 --> 01:28:48,579 Is that a wad of loose hair? 1866 01:28:48,662 --> 01:28:50,164 [Tom] Custom-made hair! 1867 01:28:50,247 --> 01:28:51,832 [Tom grunts] 1868 01:28:51,915 --> 01:28:53,876 [heroic music playing] 1869 01:28:55,669 --> 01:28:56,920 [gasps] 1870 01:29:03,927 --> 01:29:05,012 [Tom laughs] 1871 01:29:06,305 --> 01:29:08,057 [intense music playing] 1872 01:29:08,140 --> 01:29:09,099 -Get down! -[screams] 1873 01:29:14,229 --> 01:29:15,397 Oh, frick. 1874 01:29:15,981 --> 01:29:17,357 [Sean screams] 1875 01:29:23,864 --> 01:29:24,865 [Tom] Hold on. 1876 01:29:30,704 --> 01:29:32,539 Oh, shit. 1877 01:29:34,792 --> 01:29:36,001 [Darcy shrieks] 1878 01:29:36,794 --> 01:29:38,378 [engine whines] 1879 01:29:44,676 --> 01:29:45,886 [Darcy gasps] 1880 01:29:47,429 --> 01:29:48,806 Holy shit. 1881 01:29:54,353 --> 01:29:56,772 ["No ordinary" by Labrinth playing] 1882 01:30:23,006 --> 01:30:24,716 So when I asked you before 1883 01:30:26,301 --> 01:30:27,511 if we could start over... 1884 01:30:30,347 --> 01:30:31,890 I don't wanna start over. 1885 01:30:43,235 --> 01:30:44,820 I wanna keep going. 1886 01:30:45,654 --> 01:30:47,656 [tender music playing] 1887 01:30:59,293 --> 01:31:00,752 Tom Fowler, 1888 01:31:01,795 --> 01:31:03,255 will you marry me? 1889 01:31:09,803 --> 01:31:11,013 Are you sure? 1890 01:31:12,931 --> 01:31:14,057 You're not scared? 1891 01:31:16,018 --> 01:31:17,895 I'm terrified. [breath trembling] 1892 01:31:19,146 --> 01:31:21,982 Life is always gonna be chaotic. 1893 01:31:23,942 --> 01:31:25,694 But what I know for sure... 1894 01:31:27,487 --> 01:31:30,157 is that I wanna go through all of it with you. 1895 01:31:32,910 --> 01:31:34,953 It's simple, really. [sniffles] 1896 01:31:37,080 --> 01:31:38,707 Just a plan with one step. 1897 01:31:48,467 --> 01:31:49,551 Still fits. 1898 01:31:55,891 --> 01:31:58,101 [sentimental music playing] 1899 01:32:09,655 --> 01:32:11,448 [Jamie softly] Stop. Be quiet. 1900 01:32:31,301 --> 01:32:32,928 [cheering and applauding] 1901 01:32:33,470 --> 01:32:35,806 -[firework exploding] -[all screaming] 1902 01:32:35,889 --> 01:32:38,100 Shit! Sorry! Sorry! 1903 01:32:38,183 --> 01:32:39,851 There was one firework left 1904 01:32:39,935 --> 01:32:41,979 and I thought it would be fun, and beautiful, and poignant, 1905 01:32:42,062 --> 01:32:43,689 -but it was absolutely not! -[laughing] 1906 01:32:43,772 --> 01:32:45,107 -[Margy laughs] -Come here. 1907 01:32:46,233 --> 01:32:48,610 [intro to "Walk Like An Egyptian" playing] 1908 01:32:54,157 --> 01:32:55,909 [fast-forwarding] 1909 01:32:59,955 --> 01:33:02,416 {\an8}♪ All the old paintings On the tomb ♪ 1910 01:33:02,499 --> 01:33:04,668 {\an8}♪ They do the sand dance, Don't you know ♪ 1911 01:33:04,751 --> 01:33:06,128 {\an8}♪ If you move too fast ♪ 1912 01:33:06,211 --> 01:33:07,212 {\an8}[all] ♪ Oh-way-oh ♪ 1913 01:33:07,296 --> 01:33:09,298 {\an8}♪ They're falling down Like a domino ♪ 1914 01:33:09,381 --> 01:33:11,633 {\an8}♪ All the bazaar men By the Nile ♪ 1915 01:33:11,717 --> 01:33:13,885 {\an8}♪ They got the money On a bet ♪ 1916 01:33:13,969 --> 01:33:15,262 {\an8}♪ Gold crocodiles ♪ 1917 01:33:15,345 --> 01:33:16,388 {\an8}[all] ♪ Oh-way-oh ♪ 1918 01:33:16,471 --> 01:33:18,223 {\an8}♪ They snap their teeth On your cigarette ♪ 1919 01:33:18,307 --> 01:33:20,225 {\an8}♪ Foreign types With the hookah pipes say ♪ 1920 01:33:20,309 --> 01:33:23,061 {\an8}[all] ♪ Way-oh-way-oh ♪ 1921 01:33:23,145 --> 01:33:26,982 {\an8}♪ Way-oh-way-oh ♪ 1922 01:33:27,399 --> 01:33:30,777 {\an8}♪ Walk like an Egyptian ♪ 1923 01:33:30,861 --> 01:33:32,779 {\an8}[all cheering] 1924 01:33:41,079 --> 01:33:43,582 ♪ The blonde waitresses Take their trays ♪ 1925 01:33:43,665 --> 01:33:45,667 ♪ They spin around And they cross the floor ♪ 1926 01:33:45,751 --> 01:33:46,918 {\an8}♪ They've got the moves ♪ 1927 01:33:47,002 --> 01:33:48,962 {\an8}[all] ♪ Oh-way-oh ♪ 1928 01:33:50,380 --> 01:33:52,758 {\an8}♪ All the school kids So sick of books ♪ 1929 01:33:52,841 --> 01:33:54,968 {\an8}♪ They like the punk And the metal band ♪ 1930 01:33:55,052 --> 01:33:57,304 ♪ I do not know what to do ♪ 1931 01:33:57,387 --> 01:33:59,389 ♪ I drank so much Oh, my God, I'm sick ♪ 1932 01:33:59,473 --> 01:34:01,600 {\an8}♪ All the kids In the marketplace say ♪ 1933 01:34:01,683 --> 01:34:04,227 {\an8}[all] ♪ Way-oh-way-oh ♪ 1934 01:34:04,311 --> 01:34:07,773 ♪ Way-oh-way-oh ♪ 1935 01:34:08,607 --> 01:34:11,109 {\an8}♪ Walk like an Egyptian ♪ 1936 01:34:11,193 --> 01:34:13,236 {\an8}[all cheering] 1937 01:34:13,320 --> 01:34:15,781 ♪ I'm down For the way he feels ♪ 1938 01:34:17,574 --> 01:34:19,659 {\an8}[instrumental break] 1939 01:34:24,414 --> 01:34:25,957 {\an8}Whoo! 1940 01:34:54,486 --> 01:34:56,738 {\an8}[whistling verse tune] 1941 01:35:02,536 --> 01:35:03,578 {\an8}Make sure the batteries work. 1942 01:35:06,623 --> 01:35:10,544 {\an8}I'm so sorry that I invited two con men to your wedding. 1943 01:35:11,128 --> 01:35:15,006 {\an8}And I don't know if I'm attracted to toxic people, 1944 01:35:15,090 --> 01:35:17,134 {\an8}or toxic people are attracted to me. 1945 01:35:18,051 --> 01:35:19,845 -[song ends] -[all cheering] 1946 01:35:28,311 --> 01:35:30,313 [instrumental music playing]