- [Brennan] A list of the topics, themes,
and subject matter featured in this episode
has been included in the video description.
(radical action movie music)
(logo powers up)
(helicopter blades whirring)
(impact echoes)
(glass clinking)
(impact pounds)
(metal clinking)
(wind whistling)
(explosion pounds)
(car engine revving)
(switch clicking) (missiles firing)
(epic explosion pounds) (distorted laughter)
(fuses sizzling)
(keys clacking)
(skull laughing creepily)
(lasers zapping)
(switch clicks) (explosion pounds)
(car engine revving)
(glass shattering)
(bomb beeping rapidly)
(helicopter blades whirring)
(fishing reel clicking)
(epic '80s synth music fades)
(device beeping) (epic explosion pounds)
- Hello, one and all!
Welcome to another thrilling episode
Of "Dimension 20: Never Stop Blowing Up."
I'm your humble game master, Brennan Lee Mulligan.
With me, as always, are our Awesome Action Heroes.
Say hi, Awesome Action Heroes.
- [Players] Hi, Awesome Action Heroes.
- Last we left off, we were on the wing of the White House
as it soared through the air over a storm-covered DC
with a crane attached to the back.
We had Andy "Dang" Litefoot in the guise of Greg Stocks.
We had Wendell Morris in the guise of Vic Ethanol.
And we had Russell Feeld in the guise of Jennifer Drips
all on the wing fighting President Slater Hancock,
the villainous Dave Balt, owner of Dave's Video World.
He became the president.
Also, in our last episode, a bunch of stuff happened.
You guys met a talking jaguar, Barsimmeon died,
Kingskin chopped an airplane's nose off and killed a guy.
People jumped into the sky.
Punched through a cockpit, throw a guy out,
take over plane, spill beans, make beans look like sky.
It was a pretty incredible time.
Paula Donvalson, AKA, Detective Jack Manhattan
and Usha Rao, AKA, G13 are communing with the crane.
And every machine's a computer
if you hack hard enough, okay?
In the Oval Office, looking at Dave's MacGuffin,
the Superbomb filled with Adrenanoxiline Plutonium Sulfate,
we got... it's in front of us.
(Jacob laughs) Shadow Falcon Protocol,
Archimedes Contingency, okay?
Belgian double-cross. It's all happening, folks.
And with all of that being said,
we are gonna dive back into the game.
- Okay. (players laughing)
Okay. - [Brennan] All right?
We are in the White House, folks, all right?
We got people in a crane down below.
Liv, you are looking at the Superbomb in front of you.
It is beeping. The president has a sword.
He's gone loco, okay? And he's gonna start 30 wars tomorrow!
He's flying the White House like a dragon.
(Izzy chuckling) - Wow. (laughs)
- I got so much shit on me! (players laughing)
Okay? He's coming for you.
- What did Paula tell me to do? Eat the bomb?
- Yeah. - Okay. (laughs)
- Paula said, "Eat the bomb."
- I feel like you have
a couple options of what to do with the bomb.
- And then you said something different.
- I said you could smush the bomb.
- Smush the bomb. - Or get Tech help or do Tech.
It's whatever you wanna do with the bomb.
- How I learned to- - Okay.
- Dismantle the atomic bomb. - The bomb.
- Eat the bomb and talk to your grandchild.
- Can I do a Wits check to see everything
I can learn about this bomb?
- I'll say this. Wits will be harder.
Tech is what you really wanna give me.
- Oh, a Tech check. Sure.
- I would say give me Tech 10.
- Tech 10. (energetic tense music)
That's a two. - [Brennan] Go ahead
and take two Turbo Tokens. - That's not very good.
I start eating it. (laughs)
- Honestly, give me Tough.
If you wanna start eating the bomb,
I'm gonna need a Tough roll.
- How much?
- Kingskin is just trying to commit to the bit for Jack,
but he's not even here. (cast laughing)
(energetic tense music continues)
Two. (laughs) - All right.
You hurt your teeth on the bomb. Take two Turbo Tokens.
(Ally and Alex laughing) - Heartburn.
- Both Usha and Paula,
you can hear the sort of pained whimpering and scratching
of bone on metal as Liv tries to eat the bomb.
- So because we have all of this tech data information
uploaded into our bodies sort of...
- Yeah.
- Do we know how to sort of deal with this thing?
- [Brennan] I think you would have to make a Tech check.
You would have to- - [Izzy] Okay.
- [Rekha] May I? - [Brennan] Yeah.
- [Rekha] Knowing that also I have a lower difficulty
of three if explosives are involved.
- [Brennan] Ooh.
- [Rekha] 'Cause I have Demolitions.
- [Brennan] Ooh! This is correct.
- Wait, I also had that. - Whoa!
- [Ally] You tried to eat it. - But I forgot.
- Oh, you did have it. (players laughing)
- So, I'm gonna say this.
Because you guys are down in the crane right now,
your Tech check is gonna have a ceiling to it-
- [Rekha] Okay. - ...which is the Wits check
that Liv's gonna make 'cause you have to describe the bomb
in exact detail- - Okay.
- [Brennan] ...for you guys to be able to understand
what you're talking about. - On the phone?
- On the phone.
It's like trying to do IT over the phone
when the person who's helping you can't see the problem.
So give me a Wits check, first and foremost,
to see what the ceiling- - Well, they have to do
the sign-in thing where they can see you.
- Mm-hmm. - Yeah. Okay.
(tense music)
14. - [Brennan] Okay.
The difficulty is 10 (Ally whistles appreciatively)
to understand this. - Okay.
- So, Kingskin can perfectly describe it.
Give me Tech checks here for you guys
to attempt to understand the bomb.
- Five.
Difficulty lowered by three if explosives are involved.
- 16. - [Ally] Seven.
- 16 Tech from Jack Manhattan. - Beautiful.
- Nice!
- As Liv begins to describe the bomb to you,
the bomb is using Adrenanoxinil.
- Mm-hmm.
- This Superbomb is supposed to go off,
but there's something here
that doesn't quite make sense to you.
This bomb going off is the end of Dave's story.
This is his MacGuffin.
When the MacGuffins are all tied to your central plot thing,
when they resolve, you go home.
Your story's over, right?
On that 16, you realize
that the thing you've been worried about of like,
what happens when this bomb goes off?
No, no, no. This bomb going off is the end of Dave's story.
What he's found a way to do is to prevent it from going off.
He's hacked his own MacGuffin
to keep him in the world permanently.
And you realize outside
that he may not even be able to fully die.
When you saw that little weird rewind that happened,
he's fucked with his MacGuffin so much
that he kind of can't die in this world, right?
So you both need to defeat Dave
and somehow defeat this MacGuffin
that he's supercharged with Adrenanoxinil Plutonium Sulfate.
So, you know that far from preventing the bomb
from going off, you actually need to make the bomb go off.
- Is this like "Armageddon"
and one of us has to be Bruce Willis
and be there with the bomb as it explodes
and have to save Liv Tyler's boyfriend?
- Oh, yeah. - Is this like that?
- Is it like that?
- Brennan, answer. Is this like that?
- Depends on who's GMing, I guess.
- [Alex] Wow. - Oh.
- [Jacob] Nice. - Okay.
- On the phone to Usha and Paula, Liv is like,
do you still want me to crush it?
- No, no, no, no, no, no!
- Oh, okay. - Right?
We have to make it go off,
not prevent it from going off, right?
- Is the bomb attached to anything?
- It's just sitting on the desk, yeah.
- I just pick it up?
- Yeah, absolutely. - Okay, pick it up.
- Blam. You have the bomb in your hands.
- I try to put it in my briefcase.
- As you do that, you hear outside the Warrior Kings
(gunshots bursting) defending the Oval...
(Brennan mimics gunshots and action movie grunts)
Someone says, "He's jumped straight into the Oval Office!
Find him! He's going after the president's paperweight!"
- [Ally] Oh my god. - Paperweight?
- Yeah, you hear bullets flying outside the Oval Office.
What do you do?
- This isn't a paperweight!
I keep trying to put it in my briefcase.
- You try to shove it into your briefcase. Give me Stunts.
Give me Stunts five. - Is it a snap decision?
- [Brennan] Uh... - Hmm.
- No, I don't think so.
- I have a d20. Can I just halve it?
- You just halve it. You muscle this thing in.
You can feel your briefcase like,
squealing and kind of snapping
as you put this enormous fucking bomb in there.
(strains and clicks) And you see it's straining at the edges
but you shut it and have your briefcase
with the Superbomb inside it.
- Ah, the weight of a hard day's work.
- [Brennan] (laughs) Yes.
- Do we still have our jets?
- You guys are still on the ground
so you could run back to the mall
and get in your jets if you wanted to.
- Yeah, I blew mine up. I threw it into the sign.
- Oh, yeah. I didn't blow mine up.
- How did Dave get so powerful in this game?
- That's such a good question.
- Like, he's really smart.
- Well, he's got some sort of hack that-
- No, he has fucking help. He has like, Slicer or something.
We should do a scan for who's helping him.
- Yeah, if there's an even more radioactive part
of the White House where he's like, keeping his stash.
- Ooh.
- 'Cause we downloaded the blueprints into our brains.
- Yeah. Now, the White house has taken off.
But a big chunk of earth is still hanging to the bottom.
You think at the base of the White House
there is a secret vault where there's a tremendous amount
of radioactivity radiating out from there.
- Okay, I'm gonna climb under.
- I'm gonna say, in this moment, up on top,
Dave makes a command over to one of the soldiers
in the front of the White House.
They are gonna roll Stunts,
and I need a Stunts check from Jack in this moment.
- Not from me?
- Actually, you can both give me one.
That explodes.
- 15.
- The difficulty is 37. (Ally gasps)
- (snort laughs) But I got a 15, so...
(players chuckling) - [Alex] So you only...
- [Brennan] What do you have there?
- I got a three. I'm gonna...
Oh fuck! I don't have any tokens, we just started.
- Wait, don't you have something
where you can roll twice, Lucky?
- I have to have two Turbo Tokens.
- Oh, do you want, am I...
Can I? Am I not close enough?
- I don't know if you're close enough right now.
I think you both have to take two Turbo Tokens here.
So you both take two Turbo Tokens. What you see is this.
You are in the crane, and you see that inside
of the White House in one of the West Wing offices
you see that a staff speechwriter gets the surveillance
and goes, "Warp Drive!"
- Jon Favreau?
- Jon Favreau, bam, hits a button
and takes off into the sky. (jet engine roaring)
The crane is yanked out of the ground,
and now you are being whipped and dragged behind
in this crane, flying into the sky
behind the White House jet
as it (mimics wind rushing) takes off into the sky.
That is going to be your turn.
You guys can, you wanna rush up the chain
to get to the White House?
- Yeah. - Absolutely.
- Give me Stunts, difficulty 15.
(dice tapping table) (anxiety-inducing music)
- Two.
- 17.
- On a 17, you see that Usha begins to fall.
I'm gonna need a Stunts check difficulty of 10
for you to grab Usha as she begins to fall off the chain.
- And if you don't, it's okay.
- Can I lower the DC because I'm defending my friend?
- You absolutely can. - Oh, is it a snap?
- It is a snap decision. - [Alex] Okay.
- Three. - [Brennan] Three. Okay.
Take two Turbo Tokens. You take two Turbo Tokens.
You see- - Oh, can I spend two?
I already have two. Can I spend two to reroll?
- For the Lucky? Yes, you can. - [Izzy] Yeah.
- Nice. - Do I take two even though-
- [Brennan] You take two 'cause you failed, yes.
- What am I trying to hit? - Now a seven.
- Okay. - [Brennan] Seven on a d20.
- 12. - [Alex] Nice.
- So Usha, you feel yourself, as you are both,
there's a crane whipping behind a flying White House.
- I can make it.
- You guys smash into the side of the Washington Monument,
(marble crumbles) decapitating it.
(Brennan mimics stone swishing through air and crashing)
- Can I grab onto the part that breaks off?
- Okay, I'm gonna- - The tip?
- [Brennan] So first of all- - The tip!
- [Brennan] One- - The pointy part!
- You're running up a chain that is whipping a crane
behind a flying White House.
You see Usha fall, one hand, grab G13.
As you smash into the Washington Monument,
it is a difficulty 30 Stunts check to "grab the top half"
of the Washington Monument, okay?
- Great. I believe in you. - You got it. No problem.
- Yeah. - [Rekha] Easy.
(Izzy and Alex chuckling)
- So here we go. Give me a DC 30 Stunts.
- What are you gonna do with it?
- [Brennan] DC 30 Stunts.
- Stab the bomb with it. (Alex laughing)
- What did you get for this roll? What'd you just roll?
- Is it 20? (Alex gasps)
It's a 20! - Are you doing it?
Oh my god. Okay. (explosion booms)
No, no, no, no, no. (Izzy laughing joyously)
Un-fucking-believable. - Okay, okay.
Okay, okay, okay!
I grab the tip of the Washington Monument. I grab Usha.
I run, not holding onto the chain,
up the chain into the White House.
I stab a bunch of people
with the tip of the Washington Monument
as we run into the White House.
We find Kingskin.
Everybody else who's trying to do anything does it.
- Yes! - Right now.
And um, um...
- Wait, wait, wait, anybody else
who's trying to do anything does it.
- On our side, on our side, on our side, on our side!
- [Brennan] Okay. - Okay.
- Um, uh... (stammers nervously)
- 20 seconds!
- All cum, all cum. All cumming.
- Everyone cums. - [Ally] Okay.
- We all bust. - Blow up the bomb! The bomb!
- Um, um, um...
We, uh, um... (laughs)
- 10 seconds!
- Give me 250 million kills.
- No, do not do that!
- I can't do that.
- We get Dave.
We get Dave right here! - Five seconds!
- We find the Plutonium- - [Ally] Three! Two!
(Izzy stammering over Brennan's made-up words)
One! - And that's your time! Okay!
(epic explosion resounds) (players clapping)
(electric guitar music) Love you, sweetie.
- Hell yeah. Hell yeah. - [Brennan] Hell yeah.
- That was incredible! - [Brennan] Unbelievable.
- If anybody who wants to do anything in the whole world,
do it! - And is cumming.
Does it while cumming. - I can't wait to describe-
- Looks like I just booked my first DMing of "D20."
(Brennan laughing) I'm taking a picture of that.
- Un-fucking-believable.
Okay, so, just multiple of the Shadow Falcons,
like, full tactical armor, automatic weapons
just slashing with the top half of the Washington Monument
as you run up a chain. (shouting and slicing)
A fucking national monument is perfectly slitting throats
at a distance of like, 300 feet.
Just... (grunting aggressively)
You rush in.
I guess like, stab the top half of the Washington Monument
through the White House for safekeeping
and then rush inside.
You grab Kingskin, Usha, bam. You get to the bottom floors.
You've also said that everybody on your side busts
and gets to do something they want.
So we're gonna go down the line.
- Yeah! - And I need every one of you
to do something you want,
and you can describe that happening
and where it happens in temporal relation to you busting.
- And then do you get to roll again after it explodes?
- Yes, you get to roll again. That's true.
So actually, you explode. - Imagine.
- Imagine if Izzy gets a 20 again.
(Alex laughs) It's okay if you don't.
- Thank god.
(lively action movie music) (die taps table)
(laughs) Nat one. I'll explode it.
- (laughs) And you choose to have it explode
just to make it a 40?
- Yeah. - [Brennan] Okay.
- And then you don't get to roll again?
- And then, do you have to-
- Oh, and then you get to roll again.
- Oh yeah, you do explode.
Also, you double all the tokens you have
by exploding twice. - I don't have any.
- [Brennan] Okay, then roll it one more time.
- 11. - [Brennan] Great.
- All right, great.
- Wow! Okay, 51. (laughs) (Ally laughing)
You roll a 51, which I said the difficulty was 30.
You absolutely passed. - Hell yeah.
- Oh. (Brennan pants athletically)
- You rush into the White House
and you end up in the vault underneath.
Everybody else, something that you do that works.
- Dave, I finished that invoice
that was due at the end of the night,
and it's piping hot and we're saving money!
- Amazing.
You see that Dave, something about the serial number
of the fucking video flashes across and he goes, "Invoice?"
And you see that he begins to try to fight his way
through the three of you on the wing to get to Usha.
Also, do you bust before, during, or after that?
- I do that, and then I sit down privately and go, oh!
(Brennan laughing)
- Sit down privately.
- Oh!
- [Brennan] Oh! - Oh! Uh...
- Barsimmeon.
- Okay. (Ally and Brennan laughing)
- Incredible!
You do that as Paula is carrying you in the other arm from-
- That's your private moment.
- Old ladies gotta bust together.
- [Alex] Oh no! - Bustin' makes me feel good.
- [Brennan] Liv.
- Kingskin has tried to find the most legitimate person
still working in this White House
and asked for a legitimate senator job and for the senator
to be able to work anywhere and anytime he wants. (laughs)
- You find the 1980s Governor of California who goes,
"A senator got hit by a bus earlier today.
I appoint you." - Thank you.
- You're the real senator of California.
- I won't let you down. Just the one?
Just one? There's only one now?
- Only one right now. The other one's gone rogue.
- Oh, we'll see what I get up to later.
- Oh, please don't go rogue.
Please don't go rogue. - Bye! (laughs)
- (screams) Falls out of the sky. Great.
- We also need a new governor.
- Great. Mm-hmm.
- I'm in the room. Shit's going down.
Greg Stocks, he grabs his watch.
He says a message into the watch that nobody else can hear.
- Okay. (Ify laughing)
- Dang connects to Greg in a way that he hasn't before.
It's like the adrenaline.
This is the most high-octane it's ever been.
And he hears a whisper in his brain from Greg going,
(British accent) "It's not all the power I have."
And Andy goes Super Saiyan.
(players gasp)
- (laughs incredulously) So you go from being the everyman
to being perfectly blond and covered in energy.
- Yes. (mimics energy zapping) (energy powering up)
And I start shooting reins of energy from my palms,
smattering around as much as I can, looking for a computer.
- Unbelievable. You are-
- But I have to, he charges up too.
- [Brennan] He charges. - Yeah.
(Brennan shouting) (energy buzzing)
- Whoa! (Jacob laughing triumphantly)
- Eyes go blue, hair... (mimics energy crackling)
- Legitimately flying. - Sax man.
(Brennan mimics saxophone wailing)
And now I'm Super Saiyan until I stop.
- Unbelievable. Okay.
- Okay, now we're "Dragon Ball."
- Okay, Jennifer Drips is fighting Dave.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm. - And I want to make a check,
which I guess I don't have to 'cause I pass no matter what,
but I wanna look at Dave and be like, you fool.
They really fooled you into thinking
that that bomb was gonna work.
- "Don't you fucking get it?
All of you came here and tried to do what you wanted to do,
running around inside the movie.
This is a movie. It's fake.
And that's what I love about it."
And you see that serial number flash across his eyes.
He goes, "I'd rather live in a fucked-up fantasy world
where I reign supreme than spend one more day
hacking it out with you losers in the real world."
- I'm trying to get like, who he's working with, I guess.
Is it the Archimedes Contingency or is it the...
- You see that he is the genesis
of the Shadow Falcon Protocol.
- He's the genesis of the Shadow Falcon-
- He is the full genesis of it. It is what he...
It was always lurking here in the world,
but when he came here, he kicked it into high gear.
- Okay.
- [Brennan] And made it the center of the world's storyline.
- Got it. Cool.
- And Wendell.
- There's a weird moment of connection
between Wendell and Vic.
Wendell gets to see inside Vic's head in this moment.
All these losses he's been taking,
all the hits he's been taking.
In his movie, he's the one punching.
He never gets punched. He's always winning the race.
And it unlocks something within Vic,
and Wendell is kind of just a passenger for once
in this time as Vic busts so hard
that he enters subspace. - All right.
- And now that he's in subspace, all time has slowed down.
And the atoms of the film that he's within seem to change,
and the car that he is in all of a sudden
turns into a mech that with arms, it's like a Gundam.
And it has wheels- - Fuck yeah!
- ...for arms and legs.
It looks like somewhere between Optimus Prime
and the weird "Monday Night Football" robot.
(Brennan and Jacob laughing)
And it stands there and Wendell,
while he is a pleasure dom inside, is like,
I understand where you're coming from,
and I hope to get my, you know,
submissive kittens to the space that you've achieved.
- Oh my god! (laughs) (cast laughing)
- I called a man into a room,
and you made a mech with (laughs) space!
- Unbelievable. Your car mech appears on the roof inside.
So Dang, Super Saiyan. (Ify laughing)
Wendell, car mech.
Jennifer, deeply trying to understand
where Dave is coming from.
- Just trying to get the mechanics.
- [Brennan] Just trying to get the mechanics here.
- Usha goes, "Hey Dave."
- Hey Dave, come over here!
- Get anything I want, you say?
- Now it's about to fucking pop off. Now the bad guys go.
Down near the vault, you guys see a number
of sort of like full black ops like mask,
black tactical vest, helmet, machine guns come out firing.
I'm gonna need each of you to make a Stunts check
difficulty of 12. - All of us?
- Actually, just the three that are down.
We'll get to the ones that are up fighting
on the upper levels in a second.
You guys all ran down to the vault where the-
- Yeah, yeah. - [Brennan] Like in the base
of the White House. - That's where I am too?
- Yeah, you're there too. Jack grabbed you.
- Six. - Six.
Two Turbo tokens. Take an injury level.
- Can I actually use these to be less than five so...
- Yes, you can. - [Rekha] Eight.
- Yes. - Right? So then that's two.
- [Brennan] Cool. - One is two. Okay, great.
Thank you, Ally.
- Seven. - [Brennan] All right.
(frenetic action music)
- 14.
- Two Turbo Tokens. Take an injury level.
You succeed. Weapons checks coming at you.
14 to Kingskin. Eight to Jack.
17 to Usha. - [Rekha] Weapons?
- [Brennan] You're rolling Tough to avoid this.
- [Alex] Oh, rolling Tough. - Oh, you're rolling Tough.
- [Brennan] You're rolling Tough, yeah.
- Sorry.
12! I blow up!
- [Brennan] (gasps) Boom! - So now I'm at a nat 20.
- And now you're at a nat 20.
- [Brennan] You got a d20. - Can I go in front of them
and lower the DC by three using Protector?
- If you used the roll a Tough on someone else's behalf
from La Familia, you could do that.
- Oh, okay. - [Brennan] So if you wanted
to do that for Kingskin, for example, you could do that.
- 20! Yeah. - 20! Nat 20.
- All right. Throw it up on the board.
Unbelievable. Hold on.
- And that's two blow-ups too. - That's two blow-ups.
- Okay. Okay. - Double your tokens.
- Little notepad. - [Rekha] I actually-
- [Brennan] A fucking notepad? For real?
- She's been writing it down.
- I don't know. Okay. - 53!
- Okay, so we kill these guys instantly
just by looking at them.
They're all fucking dead. Nobody's in the vault.
We get whatever we want in this whole scene
and everybody else gets what they want in their scene, okay?
(players laughing)
- Everybody else? - Yeah. Dave is tethered.
He has to stay with us with his mouth shut
and his hands tied behind his fucking back.
- Wow. - Unless I say
he can fucking not do that. (Ify laughing)
What else, what else? What do you want, what do you want?
- 250 million, please.
- No! What else? (cast laughing)
What else? What do we need?
Okay, okay. - I wanna call my mom later,
but I'll- - Adrenanoxinil.
- Oh, oh, oh yeah. - [Alex] Oh yeah.
- I open some fucking post office box in this vault
and bottles and bottles, as far as the eye can see
of Adrenanoxinil Plutonium Sulfate.
More than we could ever carry. - The key.
The key to open up this bomb.
- And I have the key to open up this bomb.
- Someone's into Paula.
- Also, Doug is president.
- We all cum! - [Rekha] We all cum.
- Unfortunately, that is time. (Rekha groans)
(players clap and laugh) (radical explosion resounds)
Unbelievable. Now...
- Oh, that's so good! - [Alex] Wow.
- Was that okay? - Unbelievable.
That was incredible, incredible.
Okay, you guys are in the vault.
You've got all the Adrenanoxinil you want.
The bomb is open with the key. Everyone busts a second time.
G13, you just (screams) hunker down,
and you can feel outside of this world
that sort of like old, decrepit fingers
are fumbling with the VHS tape
as Barsimmeon is trying to save you from the outside going,
"Usha, please!
Re-re-rewind the tape!"
- You can feel his fingers.
- Wait, what? I can feel...
Ooh, oh. I cum again.
- Yeah, everybody here gets something they want.
We're gonna keep it fast. What do you want?
- I find out everything that Cosmo knew
and if he's alive or dead.
- Well, you get everything you want.
Do you want Cosmo to be alive or dead?
- Alive.
- There is a coffin being stored
in the vault of the White House.
It explodes.
Vampire Cosmo leaps out and goes, "The Shadow Falcons,
they're trying to corrupt the government!
Oh, you guys figured that out!"
And kisses you passionately
on the mouth. - Yeah.
- [Brennan] Liv, what do you want?
- I want Doug Meat to be president.
(Ify laughs) - In this moment.
- You're just working your way up.
- Yeah, what the hell?
You're making a political career out of this.
- This "House of Cards"?
- As the White House opens fire on Washington DC,
there is an emergency meeting of Congress,
and it appoints the nearest person that volunteers
that is not a member of the legislature.
The only person they can find, manning the van, Doug Meat.
He is the new president.
Two presidents like that time in the Middle Ages
where there were two popes.
Cosmo points out that the Shadow Falcon Protocol,
that you guys have unlocked all
of the information about that.
But it's the resolution of your MacGuffins,
so your MacGuffin is resolved as Cosmo explains.
So you can go home. Yours is resolved.
Yours, you found the Adrenanoxinil inside of it.
Your MacGuffin is resolved.
We're looking now at the Belgian double-cross.
We're looking at the EMP.
Your security card, Haldwell, that is resolved,
and Shadow Falcon Protocol.
So it's just these three right here
that have yet to resolve in this moment.
What do you want?
- I pull these out. - Yeah.
- (taps deck) I look at Vic.
The number's zero. And our counts go back to zero.
(Rekha gasps) (Brennan laughing)
- [Brennan] Kill counts- - That's what you wished for?
- Kill counts back to zero. Bloop!
- So all those white supremacists
are alive. - Are alive.
- [Ally] They were respawned.
- No, they don't come back to life.
Our counts go back to zero.
- [Brennan] The counts go back.
- [Alex] Wow.
- Okay, but they're all still dead.
- And I go, let's do it fair for our last bit.
- For our last bit.
- And I take this out and I instant locate to a computer.
- Hell yeah. - And I shuffle these up.
But I guess I don't need to 'cause this is unlocked.
- You pull a like, Super Saiyan, ka-ka-ka!
Like, just fading out and in and are suddenly teleported
in front of a White House computer.
A staffer comes up who is clearly working
on a housing report.
You punch through his skull. Dead.
Housing report will never be finished.
And now you have the cards in front of you.
As that happens you, whoom, put the cards together,
and you get the perfect sequence
and begin to upload it into the computer.
But you do the perfect Belgian double-cross
(mimics cards shuffling) and have the sequence of cards
that comes as the result of that shuffle
that can now allow you, and as it does,
you hear... (mimics device buzzing)
- Whoa!
- (laughs) I'm just tossing shit throughout.
- [Jacob] I'm sorry. - All good.
- [Izzy] Floppy disk? - The floppy disk.
- Archimedes Contingency. (Alex gasps)
- Whoa! - Whoa!
- You arrest the Archimedes Contingency,
extract it from the mainframe.
It is secure in that floppy,
no longer stopping the Shadow Falcon Protocol
from being uploaded.
Vic, what do you want?
- Vic's kinda hearing everyone find their successes,
holds his grenade and he's like,
(as Vic) I don't know what I'ma...
(as Wendell) I don't know what I'ma do with this.
Then in the ear, (mimics static) he hears a call
from Shaun Nitro, who's like, "Sorry, buddy.
I fucked up, but you knocked some sense into me.
I'm up here on the car Gundam satellite in space.
I need you to upload that dynamite."
And he puts the dynamite in the middle center console
well, the glove compartment, and when he closes,
it takes the components of the dynamite
and charges it to one shot from the satellite.
- That's right, you fax a stick of dynamite to space.
- Yep. And space charges it up, ready to shoot.
- Ready to shoot. Shaun Nitro in space.
His veins popping. He is not wearing a spacesuit.
He is surviving in space
just from being a hard motherfucker.
(Brennan grunts like a hard motherfucker)
Just willing his blood to stay in his body
as capillaries in his eyes and nose start to burst
and get sucked into space
as he pulls a fucking satellite into position. (screams)
(Brennan mimics printer whirring)
Prints a stick of dynamite out. Bam!
The stick of dynamite with a nuke, with an EMP
that takes all the money in the world
and sends it to Belgium, but not really
is now in outer space in a satellite made of cars.
Yes! (triumphant hero music fades)
(Brennan and Izzy laughing)
Rekha, are you okay?
- No! (Ally and Brennan laughing)
It's sickening!
- [Brennan] It's sickening. Russell, what do you want?
- We are artists! - [Brennan] We're artists.
- Jennifer Drips just starts running around the room
gaining speed and you just start watching her
as she's moving like, so fast you can barely even see her.
She's practically invisible.
She runs straight to the mail room.
She picks up six manila envelopes
and enough postage to each of us
send one thing somewhere, if we want to.
Runs back.
Takes a really hot picture of herself on a Polaroid camera.
Puts it in the envelope
and sends it to that person in Amsterdam.
And it says, "I still think about you every day"
on the Polaroid. (players gasp)
And then gives everybody else a manila envelope
if they wanna, I don't know, flirt with anybody else-
- Six manila envelopes. Incredible.
- Snail mail.
- [Brennan] All of you do that and are-
- Oh, also, Persimmon's fingering me.
(Brennan laughing) - What?
- Right in front of me?
- No, I'm kidding. - Great.
So, you're at the computer
in one of the main offices of the West Wing.
Vic, I'm gonna say you two are together
'cause you just faxed dynamite.
You are near the mail room getting these manila envelopes.
The three of you, down near the vault with Dave tied up
and all of the Adrenanoxinil Plutonium Sulfate.
- This is gonna be something that upsets me.
- (laughs) No, Rekha, your words were chosen very carefully.
- No, they weren't. I was drowning.
- You said, "Everybody gets what they want."
- I thought I said, "Everybody on our side."
- We can run the tape back, but I believe it was,
"Everybody gets what they want."
- No!
(VHS player components clicking)
(video rewinding rapidly)
- (slo-mo) We get whatever we want in this whole scene,
and everybody else gets what they want in their scene, okay?
(dramatic explosion pounds) - So, you watch.
All of you get what you want, and suddenly Dave looks up.
- Uh-oh.
- Oh, oh yeah. (intense rock music)
That's exactly what the doctor ordered.
(exhales aggressively) Fangs, vampire,
and then metal skin, robot.
A dick explodes. (metallic explosion pounds)
A raging- - That's what he wanted?
- That's what he wanted. Dick blows up.
Instead, metal crotch.
Can't get kicked in the nuts ever again.
You didn't know that was part of his backstory.
He got kicked in the nuts a lot.
- Okay... - You see that near him,
a Secret Service agent goes... (screeches)
Tyrannosaurus Rex, cowboy hat, big titties.
- Yes! Yes! - [Brennan] You see, you see-
- (emphatically clapping) But I said he gets taped up
for as long as I want him to!
- He's still taped up, but he-
- Mouth too. He can't talk.
- It's not about what he says, but what he wants.
He goes, "Vampire president powers, activate!"
And you see every other Secret Service starts transforming.
Fucking Wolfman, venom teeth, guns for legs, guns for arms.
One person, father, back to life. Hug, crying.
Everybody, everybody gets what they want.
- Did we go too far?
- All of that happens.
I'm gonna need everybody here to roll a difficulty...
(gasps) That's a nat 20.
- Oh.
- I need everyone here to make a difficulty 32 Tough check.
- Oh my... - [Alex] Oh my.
(dice tapping table) (tense action music)
- I can do what?
- 32. - It doesn't matter.
- [Rekha] Six. - I got a nat one.
- I'm a Wildcard, and I'm cashing it in.
- [Rekha] But I was- - [Brennan] Okay.
- Should we all Wildcard?
- [Ify] Wait, but I got 16 so- - Can I explode my d12 with-
- Yeah. You blow up, boom.
Go ahead and roll your d20.
- May I?
- Yeah.
- Wildcard.
- Should we all Wildcard?
- Wildcard. We have two for Wildcard here.
- [Izzy] So did Ally. - 10.
- Did anyone get a 27 or higher?
No.
Everybody, take an injury level and take two Turbo Tokens.
What are our injury levels at right now?
- [Izzy] Severe. - Superficial.
- [Brennan] Severe.
So superficial- - I have severe
if that last encounter didn't count as ending.
- [Brennan] It did not end.
- Okay. (laughs) - So, Kingskin
and Jack Manhattan, you are at a severe injury level.
That as Dave just begins to... (screams)
And even tied up, he is using just the tips of his feet
and slamming the chair he's tied into.
It is a martial arts feat.
He is completely unimpeded by being tied to this chair.
You're getting the chair to the face,
his knees folded at the edge of the seat to the stomach,
wheeling around, head-butt,
vampire bite (chomps aggressively) into your neck.
And the vampire president
in the middle of this vault is going berserk.
- Is it daytime?
- It is daytime. - [Alex] Um...
- But we're inside?
- Well, we're inside- - [Brennan] You're inside.
- But are there windows? Vampires can't be around.
- Is the dinosaur wearing a bra?
- No. - Oh my god.
- Nope. (Jacob laughing)
- All right, then I don't need to Wildcard anymore.
(Brennan and Alex laugh)
- Okay, so we're gonna cut back to in the office.
You guys can hear the White House trembling,
but Dang and Wendell, you look at each other.
You can tell, by the way, there are elements of the world
that are starting to fray.
Like, the budget of the movie is starting...
You know what I mean? There's like-
- [Ify] Hell yeah. - Yeah.
- [Rekha] Now it's starting... - Ooh, it's...
We've done too much, and it's gotten too crazy
and now you almost have a fear of like,
what if the tape unspools from the fucking VHS?
- It's getting too hot, man!
- Yeah, I think you see two manila folders slide in
as Jennifer rushes in to join you,
but you have the Archimedes Contingency.
You've sent the bomb up.
What are you gonna do now in this moment?
And bullets are flying throughout
as different Shadow Falcons begin to open fire
on you in this space. (mimics bullets flying)
(bullets zipping) - I'm going to look over
at my buddy, Andy.
You know what you need to do. I'll take care of the goons.
And I barrel towards the guys and Brawl 'em down.
- Hell yeah. Go ahead.
Give me a Brawl versus the Shadow Falcons
descending on you in this room.
- All right. - Their Tough check is a 12.
- Okay, and then I get to roll with advantage.
- Advantage 'cause it's the first after an injury.
- Oh, double eights. (laughs) - Damn.
- Okay, you go to try to body these guys.
They start to surround you.
You can see all of these Shadow Falcons like,
collapsible nightsticks come out.
You got one with the arm here, another one to the side, bam!
You try to absorb the blow, get a knee.
Another one, knee to the throat. (grunts)
Comes down, fist to the face. - Wait, what was their...
- 12. - Take it down by five.
I have a Mastery in Brawl. - (gasps) That is a seven,
which means you succeed.
- Wow! - So that all happens
and then one last, (grunts) you grab the baton, swing.
Arm off the body. (screams) - Enough!
- Blood. (mimics blood spewing) Dead.
And begin to move through the space.
You grab the dude's arm and just start whaling on people
with this dude's arm.
Dang.
- I'll radio real quick. You can get in now.
(Rekha gasps) - Hell yeah.
- My wristwatch turns into a small UFO
and starts darting towards the West Coast.
- (mimics wristwatch zipping) Give me Tech eight.
- [Izzy] Eight. - [Rekha] Eight.
- Five. Do you have any tokens?
- Two. - Yeah. Can I get to eight?
- [Brennan] Yeah, you can get to eight.
- Six, seven, one.
- Yeah. - And then a 10.
No, I was at 10, so this is 12.
12! - [Brennan] Oh my god!
- Now I'm gonna roll a 20. - [Brennan] Double blow-up!
- [Ally] Double blow-up. Doubling your tokens.
- No! - Forget her.
- She's done.
- [Brennan] Okay, double blow-up. You're at a d20 Tech.
- Seven. - Okay, but that's still what?
That's 22, that's 29. - Mm-hmm.
- Your watch became the UFO, but the band staying on you,
you can see, scintillating, the metallic parts go,
(trills) coordinates.
It is already over Los Angeles.
- I take it to the radio tower.
(Brennan mimics wristwatch zipping)
Sync it into the lady. I press record.
(device humming)
(echoing) Everybody's in a movie. You're all in a film.
- Oh my god. - Everybody's in a movie.
You're all in a film.
And the watch sends an extra jolt
to make her transmission worldwide.
- (gasps in awe) Oh my god! You're kill count's gonna go up!
- Did you ruin the game?
- Throughout Washington DC, you look out the window.
(thunder crashing)
Lightning begins to descend from the sky.
Your kill count... (intense action music)
1.4 billion people.
(bell tolls) - My family!
- [Brennan] Oh no! - Doug!
- Doug! Anyone-
- Oh, I didn't even think about our friends.
(players laughing)
I didn't think about a single person but myself.
(cast laughing) (Alex groaning)
- Wife and my son and my daughter.
- I'm sorry.
- (laughs) You pull way ahead in the kill count.
You single-handedly destroyed a huge percent.
But also, in that moment, (tender instrumental music)
as the kill count happens and all of those people die,
all of them realize in the moment of death,
where they register on your kill count...
What did I say? 1.4 billion?
- Mm-hmm. - 1.4 billion.
Every one of them doesn't wanna die,
and you said everybody gets what they want.
- (deadpan) Hey, you know I meant it.
(Brennan laughing)
- I think we fucked up.
- No, we didn't. There's no way to fuck it up.
- [Brennan] There's no way to fuck it up.
- I promise. I don't know anything.
- So as that happens, you see,
coming out over the radio waves, you see your watch
and Wolfman Ann comes back to you and goes,
(watch beeping) "Is this Greg?"
- You better believe it.
- Hey, listen, time's running out. You gotta get it done.
(tense action music)
Get your friend to that Superbomb, otherwise I don't know
that this movie's ever gonna start over again.
- I found what you need
if you want it.
- "I guess the best thing I can have is that choice.
If I never see you again, it was good knowing you, Andy."
And you see the transmission goes dark.
Jennifer, I'm gonna need what you're up to in this moment.
You have the envelope.
You rush the envelopes down to the vault.
- I run to join the rest of the group.
- [Brennan] Cool. You run to join the rest of the team.
- We gotta go now! We gotta do this now!
This thing's falling apart at the fucking seams!
- You guys can see like, wings and chunks of stone
coming off the White House as jets scramble
and are opening fire on it. (screams)
Those of you down in the vault,
go ahead and give me your actions.
What are you doing right now?
- I mean, I said I would Wildcard.
- You wanna Wildcard?
- If I created a gorgeous dinosaur and a vampire boss,
yeah, I'll be the one that Wildcards.
- Okay.
Before you Wildcard, what is the action
you are Wildcarding to take?
The Superbomb is in front of you. Dave is fighting you.
You know that there is something,
that what you actually have to do,
there's no amount of hurting Dave that can kill him.
- Yeah. - It's like,
the opposite of defusing a bomb.
You need to never stop blowing up
(Alex chuckles)
so you need the bomb to go off.
- Yeah. - What do you wanna do
to make the bomb go off?
- Is there a thing on it that I know how-
Because I have Demolitions. I have all this tech.
Do I know how to enable this bomb?
- Give me Tech 40, and if you wanna Wildcard, you can.
- Okay, lower the difficulty by three, so 37.
- [Alex] Can I- - Mastery in Tech, right?
- Yeah, Mastery in Tech. - [Brennan] 32.
- Can I Alpha Squad just in case?
- You wanna Alpha Squad and do two Techs at once?
- Yeah, if you wanna do that with me, I'll-
- Or, what's your Tech? - My Tech is 20.
- Do you wanna do it instead?
I only have a 10. - Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Oh, great. Okay. - [Brennan] Cool.
So Usha and Paula, go ahead and roll.
(energetic action music)
- 16. - [Brennan] 16.
- Four. - Okay, that is 20.
Do you want to Wildcard it?
- I will Wildcard.
- You perform a superhuman feat of Tech.
All of G13's knowledge is finally being summoned
to the task of undoing this device
which threatens the very foundations of this world,
preventing you and your friends from getting back.
You will be trapped in this game forever, or worse, killed.
Paula combines her efforts with yours, Alpha Squadron.
As Dave is fighting, you can see Kingskin
versus Dave in the vault. (mimics blows landing)
You look and suddenly see
your technology is going to fail you
unless you do the wildest thing you can think of.
What does Usha do to make this Tech check work
when it can't work?
- This bomb is sort of shaped like a long neck.
- Yeah. (Ally chuckles softly)
Necks are cylinders, and that's a cylinder.
- (laughs) As an old lady, Usha has a lot of experience
giving someone a gentle neck rub when they're upset
or when maybe they're doing something wrong
or maybe she's trying to encourage them
to do the right thing. - Yeah.
- A bomb is just a neck. - Yeah.
- She reaches her hand out (Jacob laughs)
and touches this silver explosive neck.
- Yeah. - Come on.
Just do what I want you to do, and make sure nobody dies
that I like and only people I don't like die.
(Alex chuckles) - Machines are computers.
Dogs are men. - [Jacob] Mm-hmm.
- Necks are bombs. You have a 20 but you needed a 32.
Is there any part of the game system
that we have shown you guys in 10 episodes of this show
that you had any questions about
or wondered why we set it up that way?
There's one thing that I think maybe seems normal
but maybe seemed a little bit weird,
and it has to do with your Turbo Tokens.
(tense pensive music)
(Turbo Tokens clink)
♪ I am cool now ♪ - [Alex] (gasps) Wha?
- Every Turbo Token you've spent reenters your pool.
- Wha? - [Brennan] And you have full-
- I knew it. (Brennan laughing)
- I didn't.
- Why else were we keeping 'em?
- [Alex] Wha?
- Yes! - Wildcard, baby.
You're at a 20 and you need to get to 32 for this to work.
- One, two, three, four, five- (Alex laughing)
- [Brennan] And I believe- - Six.
- [Brennan] Yeah, five, six. Yep.
- Seven, eight, a nine, a 10, 11...
- She's doing accounting. (laughs)
- A 12, a 13. - Like an abacus.
- Okay, 12. 12 gets you there.
- [Jacob] An abaci. - Okay! 12!
- [Izzy] Abaci. - Abaci.
- Incredible. (mimics energy powering down)
The clock counts down
to eight seconds left on the bomb as you do that.
In response to that, Dave is gonna come for you.
How many Turbo Tokens do you have left, by the way?
- 18, 20, 21.
- 21.
I'm gonna actually need you to spend another 12
'cause you're at a severe.
- Oh my god. - Oh.
- (whistles) Good catch. Good catch.
- Hey, we're doing some wild shit,
but we gotta have some gosh darn rules.
- When spending Turbo Tokens to boost an attack
that targets me, each one is worth plus two
instead of plus one? - [Alex] Nice!
- Okay. - Evens out.
- I'll allow it. - Thank you!
- There you go. So 12 is 12.
Great. For that roll, 12 is 12.
- Did you ask Rekha to count
just in case she didn't have enough
that you didn't wanna be mean to us?
- Nope.
- [Alex] Okay. (laughs) - Definitely.
- Nuh-uh. - Definitely.
- Nice to be nice. - You're freaking nice, dude.
You're nice as fuck.
- But rules are rules. So, we move through from there.
In response to that, Dave looks at you and goes, "No!"
Takes a Brawl check. 17 Toughness from you.
- 19! - [Brennan] Okay.
So you do that and- - Wait!
No, no, it doesn't matter. - You do that
and you catch Dave's foot midair.
Let's go over here. What else do people wanna do?
- I see Dave stop fighting me and go towards G13
so I spin around and try to bear hug him
with his arms pinned to his body.
- Hell yes. (intense action music)
He rolls a 16 on his Toughness.
- So a Brawl? - So to give him an injury,
you're gonna need a 21 Brawl check.
- 16. I need a 21?
- You need a 21. - To injure him.
- I'll point out, you did buy Wildcard
at the end of the last "Adventuring Party."
- Oh, sure! Okay, I'll Wildcard.
- Go ahead. Pour your tokens back into your dish there.
- Wow!
- As you go to bear hug,
you see there's something holding you back.
It's not gonna work.
You rolled a 16, but you need five more
to give him an injury level.
How does Kingskin Wildcard?
What do you do that makes this even crazier
in this moment to make it work?
- My first thought was, Kingskin strips naked?
- Yeah.
- First thought, best thought. - [Jacob] You finally see...
(Alex laughing) Yeah.
- The biggest hog in "Never Stop Blowing Up."
- [Brennan] Yeah. You go-
- Well, Damian had a really big cock too.
- [Brennan] You rip your suit off.
You see that over in the corner,
one of the aides goes, "Senator!"
- I say, I've never felt more powerful than in this suit,
but let's see what's underneath.
- Rip! Dave goes, "Whoa!"
Butt-ass naked, you leap and bear hug the vampire president
of fake United States in "Never Stop Blowing Up" world.
Spend five tokens, and that'll get you to 21.
- Well, I gotta spend 10 'cause I'm severely injured.
- Go ahead and spend 10.
Dave takes his first injury level. He's at superficial.
You guys realize you need to solve the bomb and defeat Dave.
These are the two things
that need to happen sort of simultaneously.
Anyone else? - Yes, I run.
I'm not with them in that room, right?
- But you can join them now in this moment.
- I join them now and I wanna like, preoccupy Dave
so that Usha can be with the bomb and with the Protocol.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm. - So I attack Dave.
- Go ahead, attack Dave.
15 Tough from Dave.
- That's a four. - [Brennan] That's a four.
Okay. - But I'd like to Wildcard.
(Brennan laughing)
- [Rekha] Did you get injured?
- Not me.
- All right, you rolled four. You need to get to 20.
- Yeah. - You got it.
- Let's see. - You literally do have it.
- A one, a two, a three...
- Count 'em up.
As you're counting 'em up,
does anyone else know what they wanna throw down
on the deck? - The Tootsie Roll Owl?
- Yeah, I feel like it feels like the bomb
is pretty handled. - [Brennan] Yeah.
- And I think Andy and Dave's interpersonal beef
would kinda make Dang very happy
to just fucking wallop this guy.
- [Brennan] Hell yeah.
- So he's going to do the move Krillin does
where he has a disc.
- Destructo Disc. - Thank you. Destructo Disc.
I'm gonna Destructo Disc Dave. - (laughs) Sick!
- Krillin's like, the Doug Meat of "Dragon Ball Z."
- Yes, yes. (laughs) (Alex and Rekha laughing)
- [Brennan] Okay. - I blow it up.
- Fuck yeah!
- Oh, you get all the way to 20.
- Yeah.
- [Brennan] And we're gonna go ahead and blow that up.
(epic explosion sounds) ♪ This is psycho ♪
- Okay, amazing. Go ahead and roll the d20 again.
- Let's see. (tense industrial music)
Eight. - Eight. Okay, 28.
Beat it by more than five. Dave moves to a severe injury.
But what do you do to Wildcard?
Like, you can see that your attack
isn't going to work normally.
What do you do?
- Jennifer stances up with him,
but he's so crazy and he's a vampire
that she decides to just go full like, going through beams
so she's kind of like, doing the worm.
- Yeah. - She looks very like,
serpentine, and she's just kind of like (laughs) moving,
but only on the ground. - So fluid. Just-
- So she's reaching up and attacking him
but then like, moving around.
- So it's like if a snake could punch you.
- It's like if a snake could punch you
and it's just needlessly sexy. (laughs)
It's just like, ass in the air for like, a lot of times
and then it like, dips low and then it goes back up.
- (mimics wind whipping) Bam, bam, bam!
Dave's like (grunts) "Stop being so hot!"
- (unbothered) I can't. - (laughs) Incredible.
Destructo Disc, go ahead
and give me either Brawl or Weapons.
- I'll do Weapons. - Okay, 15.
- Four. I guess I'll...
I guess I'll Wildcard. - Wildcard it, baby!
Go for it! - Yee-haw!
- Listen, everybody's doing it.
- Everybody's doing it.
- All the cool kids are doing it.
- Wow, the power. - [Brennan] All right, power.
Okay, so- - How many do I need?
- He rolled a 15. You rolled a what?
- A four.
- But do you have Mastery in Brawl?
- Yes, I do.
- So you bring him down to 10 with Mastery
and then it goes back to 15. - So five more?
- [Brennan] So yeah, 11 all told, will get you there.
- Is he gonna adrenaline? - Bing bong.
- Dave is gonna go to his adrenaline level,
but you have to do it to get him down.
So you see you Destructo Disc him.
(groans) The disc digs into him.
(echoing) "This is fucking crazy!"
(stone crumbling) He hits the wall.
(grunts and pants) "No matter how much you hurt me,
no how matter how much you try,
you're still the same losers from my fucking video store!
You're nothing but wussy little fucks!
And I'm a job creator!"
- Yelling...
- Your store's going out of business. You're the only loser.
- Because of you!
- Tomayto, tomahto. And then I whip my ass in the air.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm, yeah. - If I may,
can we say the thing that pushed it through.
- Mm-hmm. - Something besides me.
- Yeah. - And Greg.
- Yeah. - Gave me an extra push.
- Yeah. - To get the disc through him
'cause I Wildcarded so I have to do something wild.
- You have to do something wild.
- So, this gives it a little extra push.
- You feel, in this moment,
(electricity buzzing and zapping)
and you can see Barsimmeon is electrocuted outside of this
touching the VHS tape (yelps) he's like,
as he got his hand in the thing being electrocuted,
and you hear in your head...
(babbles alien language)
And you feel, Greg, Dang, Rashab,
all of it, it's a single consciousness.
Is there anything more unbelievable or wild
about a Tyrannosaurus Rex with a cowboy hat and big titties
than a single leaf on the wind?
Isn't all of this such a miracle
in the grand scheme of everything?
Rashab speaks to you, and in this moment,
you Krillin Destructo Disc your boss Dave
in the guise of President Slater Hancock,
vampire president of these United States
in a flying White House.
- Thank you.
- You get a vision of Dave's Video World
of Barsimmeon being electrocuted,
and that little seat in the porn section that you sit in,
and that is emblazoned on your mind, that little chair.
And you just get a feeling of like, that chair, that chair.
Like, and something, like the seat, under
the seat of that chair, there's something in the video store
under the seat that you need.
Yes, go for it.
- Yeah, unhearing any of this, Wendell hops on the phone
and was like, Shaun, I got the coordinates for you.
Fire the cannon.
And Shaun shoots the cannon straight into Dave from space.
- [Brennan] Give me the Weapons check, baby.
(Rekha laughing) - [Alex] Oh.
- Difficulty is 12 from Dave's Toughness.
- I rolled a three, but you know what? It's Wildcard.
- It's Wildcard time. ♪ We Wildcard tonight ♪
- So let's see, three.
We're gonna bump that up another three.
- So you gotta get to a 17
to give him that last injury level.
- That has a six. (laughs)
This is gonna be crazy. - Blow up.
Wait, you were rolling a d6?
- I rolled a d6, blew the six up into an eight with three.
- Oh wait, your Weapons was at a d6?
- Yeah. - [Brennan] Wow.
- Rolled a six on the eight so I'm paying two
to blow that up again.
- [Brennan] Oh my god. - Double blow-up. (gasps)
- Plus doubling this. - Double. Dubby, dubby.
- [Brennan] Oh no. - Dubby, dubby, dubby, dubby!
- Oh yeah! - That's like, 30 or 40
in there already. - That's a big dubby.
- Unbelievable. - That's a big dubby.
- That's a six.
Gonna pay four out of the pool of whatever this is-
- Unbelievable. - ...to blow that up.
(explosion crashes) ♪ The system is perfect ♪
- That is gonna be a 12.
That's gonna be a one that I'm gonna use The Ones
to blow up into a 12.
Double blow-up. Now I'm doubling what was left in there.
- Oh my god. That's like 80.
- [Jacob] 1,000 tokens. - Yeah.
(Rekha laughing)
- And now- - And now we're rolling a d20?
- Yeah, now I'm rolling a 20. - And then get a 20.
- And Brennan- - [Brennan] Yeah.
- If you get a 20 I'll piss myself.
- I'm sorry.
A 19. I'ma blow it up.
(rocking explosion erupts) - A 19!
- A nine. I'ma blow it up. (Ally screams)
An eight. I'ma blow it up.
- You're not even gonna count those.
- [Brennan] Okay.
- He knows what he's doing.
- I'll blow it up one last time with seven.
- [Brennan] Okay. (blowing up continues)
- Okay, I'ma just leave it at 12 if I don't get it, but...
- I'll lend you some if you wanna keep blowing up
to be the DM again.
- Okay, I'm gonna say, instead of doing the math
for those Turbo Tokens, I'm gonna clean you out
and give you one last roll.
- Okay. - [Brennan] One last roll
and we're cleaned out, okay? - Whoa!
- Okay. - [Alex] Wait, what...
- 15. - Oh!
It looked like a 20 from here! - [Brennan] Okay.
- Oh yeah.
- So we're somewhere in the neighborhood of like, 80 or 90.
- Yes, easily. - Yeah.
- Shaun Nitro pushes the satellite, puts the dynamite in.
EMP. (mimics energy pulsing)
(Brennan grunts)
He blasts a hole through the White House,
exposing President Dave not only
to the powerful laser cannon, but also the rays of the sun
as the laser breaks through the storm clouds
over Washington DC.
Dave goes, "No! The sun and lasers!"
(Brennan mimics explosion crashing)
His body is rent asunder, burnt to tatters.
As this happens, you see the bomb (mimics energy pulsing)
begins to go wild colors
as it starts to reconstitute Dave's tattered body.
Just fangs and malice and blood in a weird web
as a whirlpool of ash. (screams wildly)
Muscle, guns, bullets, bombs!
He is like an explosion bullet vampire blood elemental.
(screams) The sun is beating into him.
And you see (explosion pounds)
the White House is on fire.
A bomb is in front of you.
It needs to be disarmed right now.
If Dave gets his turn again, he will reconstitute
from this bomb here.
You have the Shadow Falcon Protocol,
but you also used your action to start this process.
So, Jack, what do you wanna do in this moment?
(heroic rock music) (tokens clinking)
We Wildcard.
I believe every single person has Wildcarded in this round.
- I'm gonna look at Dave. - Mm-hmm.
- And I'm gonna go,
Dan. (Brennan and Alex chuckle)
(Brennan sputters and gurgles like an eldritch monster)
It's our store now. (Rekha gasps)
And I'm gonna serve him divorce papers.
And then I'm gonna take out my gun,
and I'm gonna shoot the bomb. (Alex laughing)
- And the bullet flies off, grabs the Protocol.
- Grabs the Protocol and- - [Brennan] I'm gonna say...
I'm gonna say- - Because it's wild.
- [Brennan] Yeah. - Boomerang bullet.
- What I'm gonna say is I'm gonna roll.
- Sticky bullet. - Sticky bullet.
- We're gonna do a Weapons check.
Difficulty of shooting a bomb so hard that it blows up
and uploads a floppy disk to an internet
that doesn't exist in this time period is 50.
- Okay. - I think you have enough.
- It's a what check? - Weapons.
- Minus eight.
- Minus eight. Cosmo, he died to find this secret.
The Shadow Falcon Protocol- - But he's back to life.
- [Brennan] He's back to life. - Also a vampire.
He's looking at Dave like, "Hmm, this thing..."
You fire your gun. Difficulty is 50.
But you see- - Can I give him the gun?
- But you see Doug Meat covered in bullet holes, bleeding
(rasps) gasping.
He looks at you and goes, "I've always loved you."
- [Alex] Oh- - Runs.
He has a handgun with a strip of duct tape on it.
Tapes it to the bomb
so that it is wielding the same weapon you are and dies.
(Rekha gasps) - Doug!
(heroic rock music)
- Difficulty is reduced by eight, so that's 42.
- Okay.
- [Brennan] You need to roll a 42 on a Weapons check.
- Also, we have a bunch of APS, right? Can Jack have-
- Oh, yeah. - [Brennan] Oh yeah.
- All the Adrenanoxinil- - All of you, you down that.
- [Izzy] Oh, yeah. - You down that
so that now the difficulty is 37.
- I'm also severely injured.
- You're trying to shoot a bomb
so that the bullet ricochets and uploads a floppy disk
and the bomb blows up.
- [Ify] Hey. - Hey.
- Yeah.
- I think that's completely reasonable.
- Let's go.
(die taps table) (tense industrial music)
- Six.
- Six. Okay.
And are you severely injured?
- [Izzy] Yeah. - Okay.
- But I have Lucky.
Did I roll after I became severely injured?
- No, so you have advantage. - [Alex] Oh, yeah.
- 12.
- Okay, 12 is certainly easier to get to 20.
So you could spend 16 tokens and blow up,
and you're trying to get to- - I could also spend two
for Lucky and reroll.
- You have to keep whatever you reroll.
- Okay, so I'm just gonna spend
as many as I need to get to 42?
- If you spend 16 of those, you'll get to 20.
- [Rekha] Yeah. - Okay.
- And then you keep the 20 and roll it again.
- Okay, okay. - All right? Cool.
- [Alex] Nice.
- Okay, blow up.
- Go ahead and give me the next d20 roll.
You're trying to get to a 37.
- Do you want me to roll again?
- I want you to roll again, yeah.
(tense industrial music continues)
- 14.
- [Brennan] You're at 34 so you can spend-
- Yes. Yes. - Yes.
- You can spend six and get there.
(tense industrial music fades) (tokens tapping table)
- Really nice. - [Rekha] Good on ya.
- 37. Gun out, you shoot a bomb with a gun.
The bullet hits the bomb, ricochets, hits the disk.
(Rekha gasps) The disk, ping!
Flies into a computer, uploads.
Dang, you hear in your mind, (babbles alien language)
"Always believed in you, Dang. Always."
Wendell, Liv, you look at each other.
Bullets, blood, satellite raining down.
Kingskin, totally naked.
Wendell, in a car Gundam. (Izzy giggling)
When you get out of here,
you've got your whole lives ahead of you.
And whether that's Stanford or Irvine
or a wide world of possibilities,
(epic '80s synth music) all of it is in your grasp.
What can stop you
when you take life into your own fucking hands?
Russell, looking out at all these people,
looking at your perfectly fluid body,
you don't have bones anymore.
You are liquid. Look at all these people by your side.
All it takes is the bravery to connect
and say that you belong, and you find a place
that you would commit to having be your home.
Somewhere out there, your Amsterdam is waiting.
Usha, all of the things that were beyond your grasp,
in this moment you have done something
that everyone would have said is impossible.
No matter how old you are,
always, there is a new adventure waiting around the corner.
Bullet, (mimics gunshot shooting) disk, computer.
Shadow Falcon Protocol engage. (mimics falcon calling)
Doug Meat, dead.
T-Rex killed a guy unrelated.
(Ify chuckles)
And this Superbomb (bomb beeping)
never stops blowing up. (Ally laughing)
(explosion crashes)
All of you are blown up forever.
And you come back a million times
in a million different lives.
The manila envelopes fly out, and you see that a hand
reaches through the flame, grabs you.
And you hear the voice of Wolfman Ann go,
"Wanna pass me those ciggies, pal?"
(Jacob taps pack)
- Smoke 'em if you got 'em.
- "I do for the first time."
You all feel (mimics energy zapping)
and are once again standing in Dave's Video World.
- Oh my god!
- In this moment,
Barsimmeon is standing by the tape looking out,
and there's just a spool of magnetic tape in his hands.
- No!
- As smoke pours out of the VHS tape.
- [Izzy] No! - Just... (smoke hisses)
"I-I uh, oh, oh!
Oh." - You're alive! Persimmon!
- Uh, yes. I am.
Are you all right? I thought you all might die in there.
- Is Dave with us?
- [Brennan] You look in the back and you see Dave walk out.
- I slap that motherfucker so hard.
- You go, bam! And he goes, "What the fuck, Russell?"
- Oh, what, do you think you're president or something?
I slap him again.
(slap cracks) (Brennan yelps)
- What the fuck, Russell?
- Little bitch. And I start to-
- No, Russ, the time warp. - [Brennan] You look out-
- I don't care! I don't care, all right?
- You slap the shit out of him, and Dave starts crying.
He goes, "What the fuck are you doing?"
- Oh my god, Dave. I...
- "We're having a fucking party!
We're having a goodbye party for the store!"
Barsimmeon looks around like,
unsure of what the fuck is happening.
He goes, (whispers) "He should be, he should be dead."
- Why doesn't...
- And you see that Dave goes, (sobs) "This fucking...
This fucking sucks!"
And you see he just runs out the back
(door chime rings) and heads out suddenly.
Barsimmeon looks around, goes, "What? I should be dead.
I should have died there in the Amazon."
- Were you unspooling the-
- No, I was trying to eject the tape.
I thought you were all going to be killed.
- What happened when you died in the movie?
- I don't know. Maybe we...
Look, I'll be honest.
I've gone ham every time I was in there,
but I think you six absolutely sick fucking freaks
went the hardest anyone's ever gone in there.
- Thank you, Persimmon. - We broke it.
- Thank you. I will salute Persimmon.
- "I feel so terrible. And especially..."
You see he puts a hand on Wendell's shoulder.
"The new keeper of the tape. I feel like I've ruined it.
It passed to you and I've beefed it, my boy."
- Look, look, it's all good. There's some...
The tape was cool, and I had a blast, but I don't know.
There's some things that I wanna try in the real world.
Then he goes up and kisses Liv.
- [Ally] Oh my god! (cast members gasp)
- Oh my...
- What happen-
In this moment, Liv, you see Wendell stepping towards you.
- Liv kisses him back.
- [Brennan] Oh! - Oh my god!
- [Brennan] You see as this happens-
- Wow.
- ...you hear (mimics engines revving)
and fucking three dirt bikes pull up to the party.
And you see that your three brothers and your dad walk in.
And we see Charles for the first time,
and he looks in and goes, "Whoa!"
And you see that your three brothers go, "What?
Why did you even?
Like, I can't believe
that your friend is freaking kissing you.
You don't even dirt bike!"
And you see that your dad says, "Hey!
You three chuckleheads leave Wendell alone.
Yeah, he doesn't dirt bike,
but none of you have ever been kissed,
and you should feel bad about that!"
And you see they all go, "Dad!"
And he goes, "If I'm gonna be toxic to your brother,
I'm gonna be toxic to all of you!"
- Okay. - Good job, Wendell.
- Thanks, Dad, but a minor suggestion.
- Yeah. - Let's not be toxic at all.
- Damn. Great point.
- Yeah, like, I learned that, you know, Marcus, Ricky...
- The other one. (laughs)
- Dejon. - [Rekha] Dejon.
- Dejon. (laughs) Marcus, Ricky, Dejon.
Even though I felt like I really couldn't fit in with y'all,
I never tried, but we're family.
We're siblings, and without our siblings, we're nothing,
so y'all keep doing your dirt bike thing,
and I think I'm going to UC Irvine.
- Your dad nods.
"Whatever you do, I think it's the right choice.
(sighs) I really miss your mom,
and I think I was hard on you boys,
and I really hit the dirt biking thing 'cause, I don't know,
it's just sorta what was there to kinda,
that was sorta the bell to ring.
Whatever you do, I'm proud of you.
All right, boys, let's all get on our dirt bikes
and go back to our dinners."
You see they all go out into the parking lot.
(Brennan mimics engines revving) Take off.
And Liv, I think you see coming in,
sort of right on the heels of them leaving,
you see your mom and dad, Terry and Melissa walk in.
They go up and say, "Hey, sweet pea,
we thought we'd bring some snacks for your last night
working at the video store."
- Mom, Dad, I didn't say yes to Stanford.
I missed the deadline.
- Oh! That's okay.
- What? (gentle guitar music)
You're not mad?
- No, no, we're not...
You see your mom goes, "Sweetie, we're not mad.
It's your life. Whatever you do, you're gonna do great."
Your dad looks at you and says,
"We believe in you, sweet pea.
I know whatever you do, you're gonna blow up."
- Whoa.
Um...
I think I'm just gonna take some time
to figure out what it is I want.
- Great.
In a lot of ways, higher education is sort of a scam.
- Gap year. (chuckles)
Kinda lean against the wall. - My god. (laughs)
- [Brennan] You see he says, "Unless you, unless-"
- I think I'll take a gap year.
- Listen, you know, like Stanford,
if there's something that you know is gonna enrich your life
and is gonna be great about attending a college,
you should go because you actually think
you're actually gonna learn there,
not because it's the next thing to do.
- You know what?
- [Brennan] Don't be on a conveyor belt.
Like, study what you wanna study.
- Actually, I did figure out something I love.
I think I'm gonna apply to be an apprentice
at the local suit shop.
I really...
Suits can make you feel good. (Rekha laughs)
- Awesome! (Ally and Alex laughing)
We support you totally!
- I love you, Mom and Dad. - Give you a big hug.
There's a big embrace in this moment.
Door opens up (door chime rings)
and Don walks in.
Don Donvalson.
(Izzy sputters violently) (cast laughing)
- Don!
- (Midwestern accent) Hey there.
- Just gets chowder everywhere.
- Hey. Hey, Paula. (Izzy sputtering)
I didn't mean to interrupt during your chowder time. I, uh-
- You know how I get when I eat chowder. I get so jumpy.
- Hey, listen, I just wanted...
I knew tonight was a big, important night, so-
- I thought you were in Tampa.
- Well, yeah. - With Melissa.
- Oh, no. We uh...
- Wait, was that your mom's name?
- It was your mom's name, yeah.
- With Miranda.
- (as Don) Yeah, you know, the trip was the first time
we kinda spent real time together,
and uh, it didn't really work out.
She said she could feel distance between us,
so looks like I'm on my lonesome again.
I just wanted to say congrats and, you know,
I know that this, you know, you guard the whole mall,
so just wanted to, you know, with the H&R Block closing down
you're pretty much just gonna be the Feed and Seed
and the Walgreens now,
so just wanna let you know I support you,
and I hope that the mall stays in business now
so you don't lose your job.
I guess I'll take off. I just wanted to-
- She jumps him.
- (gasps in surprise) He goes, "Whoa! Whoa!"
- Just ravages him. (players laughing)
- You get Don and throw him into the back and it's on.
He goes, "Oh my god, Paula! What's gotten into you?"
- You. - [Brennan] Okay!
- Whoa! - If you say so, sweetie!
Oh my gosh. - [Jacob] Giggity-giggity.
- [Brennan] Giggity-giggity.
You go into the back.
- Ew. (laughs)
- They talk the same. (laughs)
- Usha, Barsimmeon looks over to you and says, "Madam..."
(Rekha inhales and exhales deeply)
- I'm sad to sorta do this to you, Barsimmeon.
I don't think I'm interested anymore. (laughs)
- Now that I'm not a magic man anymore
and my tape's all busted up,
and I'm just a man whose eyebrows join his hairline?
- No. (Ify and Alex laughing)
I think I just realized your whole life's about,
you know, kinda one thing,
and it's movies and tech and escapism,
and that seems kinda toxic to me.
And you know, I have other stuff I'd like to do, you know?
In some ways, you know,
maybe I'll never be super tech competent.
You know, I tried to massage a bomb.
I gave it a neck massage.
- That sort of worked. I was watching the movie.
- It sort of worked. And you know what?
I'm sorta glad I didn't do the correct thing
'cause I saw in G13 what too much tech can do to somebody,
and I'm glad I still made a human connection with the bomb.
I don't wanna lose that ability,
you know, metaphorically speaking.
So I think I don't have time to date you.
I'd like to meet more people.
I've decided I'm gonna maybe go
to a community college class for computers,
and I'd hope to meet somebody
maybe more kinda my speed over there.
So I feel like I keep re-breaking up with you, but-
- Well, I'm crushed. - I just wanna make it clear.
- And I'm going to...
I'm absolutely crushed.
I've lost my magic movie tape and you don't like me,
so I'm going to wander into the hills
outside of Lake Elsinore and let the wolves take me.
- Okay. Well, have a good time.
- "All right, goodbye, Usha."
And you see he walks out the back door.
That's the last time any of you see Barsimmeon.
- Can I call Lisa? - Yeah. You give Lisa a call.
- [Alex] Aw.
- I plug in the phone because I've unplugged them all.
- [Alex] Oh! - Okay.
I think this needs to be juiced. (laughs) Duh.
I'll call Lisa.
Oh, here it is.
(bouncy upbeat music)
- Oh, hello?
- Lisa, it's me.
- Hi! Grandma, how's it going?
- Good. Random question.
Did you get a letter?
I threw it into the ocean.
If you didn't get it, it makes sense.
I'm just kind of seeing. Did you get a letter?
- You threw a letter in the ocean
and you thought I would get it?
- Well, anyway... (players laughing)
Basically... (laughs)
Basically, all it said was that I would in fact,
I would take the extra room in your house,
and I would love to live with you.
I think I've been a little stuck in my ways,
and I would love to live with you and see you.
- I'd love that, Grandma. I think you should do that.
It'd be great to have you, and we love you so much.
- I love you too.
You're the most meaningful person in my entire life,
and I mean that.
And I've had a long life.
You know I was around, I invented the first pencil.
- She says, "Grandma, you're so...
I love your sense of humor. You're so funny."
- It's not a sense of humor.
I actually invented the first joke.
- (laughs) You see...
Give me, before your skills all go back to d4s,
go ahead and give me one last Wits check.
We'll call it a difficulty of five.
- 17.
And I'll use three to blow it up,
and then I'm gonna roll again.
(Brennan sputter laughs) (explosion bursts)
That's 12. Whatever.
- Huge. You look down.
Dave's Video World is going out of business,
but there's some math here.
Like, the code doesn't quite make sense to you.
- Hold on a second, Lisa.
I'm gonna use the internet while talking on the phone.
- You see, you start to use the internet.
You find a secret account.
Dave has been embezzling tons of fucking money.
You find all of the intel you need
for Dave to face criminal fucking charges.
The IRS is gonna come after him for tax evasion.
This video store is more than solvent.
This porn section is the most profitable adult video rental
on the West Coast.
And you guys are making a fucking fortune,
and Dave's been stealing all of it.
- Lisa- - You see airline tickets.
He was about to blow town!
- Lisa, we're in the black, the thick black.
- "What?" - We're so rich at this store.
People are checking out
that "Family Guy" porn like nothing else!
- "Family Guy" porn?
- "People are coming to a independent video rental store
in Lake Elsinore and buying so much "Family Guy" porn
that you guys are one of the most profitable businesses
in your strip mall?
More than the Walgreens?"
- If you had asked me maybe one and 1/2 hours ago,
I'd say, "What?"
But I can confidently tell you, yes.
I will email you the spreadsheet.
- You stumble out of there.
Russell, you, I think, overhear this.
- Whoa. - And I'll email you.
This is... (laughs) - I'm gonna say,
(cozy upbeat music) as the party's rolling along,
Don and Paula together so happy, you and your parents.
You have your father's respect.
You get a call from your mom, Celene, who goes,
"Wendell, we're so proud of you.
Irvine's gonna be great. You know what?
For your graduation coming up,
we should get you a nice, new suit."
- Oh. Oh, okay.
Yeah, I think I know a place
where I could get fitted for one.
- Hmm!
You see that, Russell, Dave is sent to jail.
Dave is, tax evasion,
the IRS comes down like a ton of bricks on Dave.
The issue is that Dave's Video World, it's profitable,
but it is either gonna get seized,
it basically gets seized and it goes up for auction.
Where is Russell's head at following this sort of like,
following all of this?
- I think Russell wants to go to Dang.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- And say, hey man, you've been staying out in that,
you know, essentially like, storage closet
for a really long time.
Why don't you come in and stay in the house?
I'd love to split space with you.
- You sure? - Yeah, totally.
You know, we can make a room and...
- Yeah, I mean, I don't have to be so in it to win it.
It might be nice to be cold and think of some idears
and maybe save up some money and actually get to LA.
- Nice. Yeah, I think you can.
- You sure you wanna stay?
- Well, I'm planning a little trip of my own, actually.
I think later that day,
I've love to swing by Barsimmeon's, if he's there.
- Well, he's wandered into the hills-
- [Izzy] He was taken by the wolves.
- ...to be eaten by wolves, but-
- I was trying to catch him when he was leaving that night.
- [Brennan] I think that night,
yeah, we can say that that happens immediately that night.
At the party you say that to Dang
and then you run out after Barsimmeon
who's just walking up the street into the hills.
- Barsimmeon, hey! Hey!
- Yes? Hello.
- I understand I've never been just kind of like,
headshot that coldly by a woman in my entire life,
so you look like you're reeling?
- Yeah. - Yeah, that's tough.
- [Brennan] Yes. - I see both sides, though.
Um, do you- (Rekha laughing)
Do you, um...
Hey man, I see you're kinda like, wanting to end it.
You were hoping a wolf will eat you?
- I know there's probably only coyotes around here.
- There's only coyotes here, for sure.
But hey- - I'll make it easy for 'em.
- No, no, no. How about...
You know, you seem like you love adventure so much.
How about one last adventure?
How about you and me go to the Netherlands?
- Russell, you dog.
- We just do a guys' trip to Amsterdam.
- Boys' night!
- Right? (Alex laughs)
- Here come the boys! (Ally laughs)
- A one-million-year-old man.
- That's right!
- Here come the boys!
- The boys are back in town! - Yes!
- You see he says, "All right, I won't let coyotes eat me.
I'm in, you motherfucker!" - Nice!
And we hug each other.
- Oh, Amsterdam. Continental.
- Yes, we'll have a bunch of, like, coffees with real milk
and see a bunch of museums. (laughs)
- You guys get back to Dave's Video World.
- [Ally] Cool. - As you do, Don,
who's got like, lipstick on and his shirt's a little undone.
He's got one arm around Paula.
You see he's going over some things with Usha
and he goes like, "Oh, yeah, well, they'll have to put
this store up for auction, and you know..."
He goes, "Russell, let me talk to you, my friend."
- Yeah.
- Listen, I know that your handyman business
has been going great for a while.
You got tons of clients all over town.
Dave's gonna go to prison.
Would you wanna maybe go in on the Video World with me?
I mean, it's a lot of responsibility to own a place.
It kinda ties you to a group of people,
and it's a lot of responsibility.
You know, you kinda...
- (whispers) Don't tell him about the lawnmower!
Don't tell him about the lawnmower.
- I have your lawnmower.
No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
No, I lied, I lied.
- He says, "I mean, I'd be happy to be a silent partner
'cause I got a full-time gig of my own,
but there probably need to be some boots on the ground here,
and you're such a-" - I would love that.
I need two weeks off coming up, and then I'm here for good.
- Oh, well, they're gonna...
We're gonna have to shut down for two weeks no matter what
'cause again, the IRS
is gonna be on this place like, you know.
- Perfect, I'm gonna go ride a bike around
in perfect weather through like, 9,000 different parks.
- "That sounds incredible."
Barsimmeon's like, "I'm coming too."
- Yeah, it's a boys' trip. Wait, Don, do you wanna come?
- You see he looks and says, "I've had enough of boys' time.
It's lady time."
- Uh-oh! - Oh.
You wanna come? (laughs)
You're like- - Yeah.
- Yeah. (laughs) Don's alone.
- He says, "Oh! Well..."
- No, no, no, no. - He says, "Hey, sweetie,
we could use a little more adventure in our lives.
Maybe you and I get a little flat by that river down there
in Amsterdam, smoke a little, a little, uh,
a little of that grass they got there."
- Oh my gosh.
- New person. This is hot girl summer.
- Well, we could get some cocaine.
- "What? (players laughing)
Oh my god, who is this foxy lady?"
You see he smiles and says, "All right,
let's all go to Amsterdam and do cocaine
and then come back and run a video store."
- Wow. That sounds great, Don. (Rekha laughing)
- It's getting like,
a little too mushy for Dang. - [Brennan] Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- You're invited, Dang.
- Yeah, you're feeling this internally and-
- Yeah, I'm good. - Yeah, okay.
- Y'all have fun. - [Ally] Okay.
- Can I go to the...
- [Brennan] Yeah. - Can I go to the porn?
- On his way over there I wanna stop him and I'll be like,
hey, Dang, I wanna say there was a moment
where I felt like we kinda were on your head about Rashab
and kinda made you feel bad about it,
but after being sucked into a videotape,
having my first kiss as a bald multiethnic man
kissing another large, bald Dorito-sized man,
then watching fate turn second by second,
killing our boss and then finding out he's still alive,
I gotta say, there can be aliens.
And if you believe in Rashab- (Jacob inhales tremblingly)
- Wait, Liv comes up right behind Wendell
and puts her hand on Wendell's back and says,
yeah, Dang, we believe!
- Yeah. We believe.
- (holding back tears) Are y'all fucking, y'all fucking...
It's like the first time Dang's ever really been seen.
Y'all fucking serious right now?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- Hell yeah.
If I ever had to get fucking sucked into a tape
with a bunch of fucking cool guys, I'd want it to be y'all.
(players laughing) Y'all some cool guys.
- Over here, Paula, in that other conversation going,
and aliens are real because our friend Dang got channeled
by dang Rashawn! (players laughing)
- Yeah, you hear Usha on the phone.
Lisa, by the way, did you know aliens are real
and J-Kwon and Bad Bunny are gone?
(cast laughing)
And I know who those are now.
- We destroyed the tape. They're dead.
(players laughing)
- Dang, with all of that, you know, people believe in you.
- And he just kinda looks up real quick.
- [Brennan] Looks up. You go back.
I think you still have a moment
of like, that deep emotion. - Jesus Christ.
- You go back to the porn section.
You see that someone actually, a new customer-
You hear the happy voice of your friends.
The video store's gonna be okay. Life goes on.
And all of you feeling this feeling of like,
if you take life by the fucking horns and you never quit
and you never die and you never stop blowing up,
all of these dreams can come true.
You sit down in that seat and you see a figure walk in.
It looks like he's just come in like,
to actually rent a video or buy something.
You see he's got a big cowboy hat,
jaguar-print button-up shirt.
- Big titties?
- It's Tony. - Oh.
- Different cowboy. (laughs) - You see,
walks into the porn section and goes,
(inhales and exhales deeply) "Hell yeah.
Friend, I'm looking for some of your 'Family Guy' stuff.
You uh...
You got anything good I might take a look at in here?
Anything you'd recommend?"
- Peter or Lois? (players laughing)
- Both, if I can get 'em, but, you know.
- [Rekha] They're with other people.
- Aisle P.
- Turns over and goes, "Great."
Says, "Yeah, I had this store recommended to me
by a friend of mine in Los Angeles.
She runs a little radio station out there.
Nothing on the level, but told me to come by.
You aren't...
Are you Andy?" - Yeah, Andy Dang.
- "Dang, that's right."
He takes a little card out and you see the card
is for Gabby Peters, but in the corner you see
that there is a howling wolf.
As he says, "Say, I'm trying to get,
you know, I'm trying to get my rocks off if I can, but um...
Uh, do you, uh...
Any other movies you recommend
I take a look at in the store?"
- Can I check what was under?
- The man looks at you, smiling.
Go ahead and check. (energetic triumphant music)
- (gasps) Oprah. - Shut up.
Wow.
- He smiles.
"Hey, Dang, you're welcome."
(babbles alien language)
(Brennan mimics alien energy reverberating)
- You are real. You are everything and everything is you.
- You are real. You are everything.
- [Jacob and Brennan] And everything is you.
- And that's all for this season
of "Dimension 20-" - [Alex] Oh my god!
- "Never Stop Blowing Up." (laughs)
- [Rekha] Wait, who's-
- Where do you think the tape came from?
It was Rashab the whole time!
- [Ally] Wow. - [Jacob] Fuck.
- Wow. - That's beautiful.
(players clapping appreciatively)
(explosion blasts)
(warm upbeat music)
(warm upbeat music fades)