(cool opening noir music)
- Hello, one and all!
Welcome to another thrilling episode
of Dimension 20: Mentopolis!
I'm your humble GM, Brennan Lee Mulligan.
With me as always are our Prefrontal PIs.
Say hi, Prefrontal PIs.
- [Everyone] Hi, Prefrontal PIs.
- Oh my goodness, welcome one and all
to the finale of Mentopolis.
Last we left off, (fun energetic music)
we started in the shop of Thalamus & Sons
where we met Mr. Thalamus, the pawn shop owner
who told us all about the copper gun and buckshot ammunition
that he had sold to one Norrell Ojiccle,
who we discovered, in all likelihood,
had not been shot with the gun
but had actually shot the gun himself
to potentially save this city from a villain
with a gleaming white key made of a frequency
from a far-off psychometer aimed and directed
at the big guy himself, Elias Hodge.
Norrell's last heroic act bought the time
that was needed for this conspiracy to be discovered...
by our Prefrontal PIs themselves
who have all now come together
to converge on Oblongata Station.
After splitting up, an incredible oral argument
from Anastasia Tension saw emergency powers granted
to one Daniel Fucks, impresario of Sugah's speakeasy.
In additional to also some quick thinking
and courtroom dramatics,
Anastasia also saw the District Attorney Mark Bition
arrested and imprisoned (Freddie laughing)
in the middle of his own trial!
- [Freddie] It wasn't even a trial.
- [Hank] No. - Just a regular petition
for like, basic-
- Yeah, he went in there fully expecting to control the city
and left in handcuffs. (players laughing)
- 100%, and also, he was put in jail
for having a check from a guy who was also there
that nothing bad happened to. (players laughing)
- And the crime was like, it's like,
oh, you're consorting with criminals,
but you, Dan Fucks, a criminal,
are granted emergency powers to control the city.
- Also it was just a check.
It's not like a receipt of deposit.
It was just like, oh, no, no, no,
he hasn't even deposited it yet.
- It's just a check. Well-
- The system is working
perfectly. - The system is working!
- Judge Connie Fusion's rulings are not always the clearest,
but goddamn it, the system works if you work it.
(Danielle laughing)
So, both of you were taken into one
of the black gangster's town cars
that had been traveling around the city after you
as Don Avaricci made you a temptation you couldn't refuse.
Dan Fucks and Anastasia Tension ended up
at the Châteaux Appetit, but at Cerebell Pacific,
we found Imelda Pulse and Ivana Popov storming the gate
to find the fixed switchboard,
but the keyhole being kept in the arms of one H. V.,
that's right, Hyper Vigi Lance
who ended up having the most to date
kind of Dashiell Hammett
Thin Man-ian back and forth repartee that we've had thus far
and ended up becoming so confused
by kind of the 1930s banter that he just
kissed and fell in love with the femme fatale, Imelda Pulse,
putting the keyhole back into the switchboard,
allowing Imelda to turn the key and tell the big guy
to grab those papers once more.
You had sent Frank Freeze off
with a sort of lower stakes command
which was to change out of his shitty pants,
which presumably he has also now done.
So two big accomplishments
after crashing through the window.
- Not even presumably.
We know 'cause the pressure went down for a little bit
after he changed his pants.
- Oh yes, we do know that. (players laughing)
Got out of my shitty pants. So change of pants.
Stolen the world-altering documents.
Two big accomplishments. We're gonna take both those Ws.
We also discovered that Loathing
was none other than Self Loathing,
and that Hunch was watching (tense music)
as Justin Fication
had a white key of a mind control ray jammed into his chest
and was momentarily turned to work for this conspiracy
that seeks the end of the will and mind of one Elias Hodge.
However, an incredible display of bravery
as Hunch grabs some copper pipe off of the wall,
broke one of the arms of Madam Loathing
who got the one piece of information she needed
from her enthralled pooch and left out the window,
presumably headed with the mind control key
to Oblongata Station where a
check and mate stands as ever quite possible.
However, The Fix and Hunch lept onto the body
of a now massive and terrifying Justin Fication
and wrapping copper around him, got him down to the ground
as he snarled and spit and hurled invective
at his best friend, Conrad Schintz.
Conrad, reaching behind for a piece of copper,
feeling a different sort of metal,
the steel of an ice skate that transformed
into a brand-new, one-of-a-kind key,
plunging it into the chest of Justin
and restoring your old faithful friend.
Our final confrontation before Oblongata Station
occurred at Châteaux Appetit as Don Avaricci
offered everything you could ever want and more
to one Daniel Fucks.
All standing in your way was the head of Conrad Schintz,
while Anastasia, with some careful and quick
and clever work got her hands on the key
of Fanny Fawnsworth, AKA the fawn reflex,
and chased down the actual Stacy Fakename.
(players laughing)
The brain's flight instinct and atop the roof
near the highway overpass you and Flight
got in a car and flew.
Folks, we return to Mentopolis and Oblongata station.
- There was a memory, a book, an old book
with a bunch of notes. - [Trapp] Yes.
- After Conrad turned the blade of the ice skates
into a silver key that you now have with you,
the shoes themselves transformed into an old dog-eared copy,
the original memory of this event
from the memory bank itself.
- I didn't catch that that's what that was.
- [Brennan] Oh, no worries, yeah. - Okay.
The ice skates were themselves an emblem of a memory,
and you, having basically taken that powerful substance
from them, they turned back into what had been originally
checked out of the Ammon's Horn Memorial Memory Library
or Memory Bank back at The Hippo Campus.
- Yeah, well now it sounds pretty self-evident.
(players laughing)
- Well, when you say it like that.
- Listen, I speak in this tone of voice
'cause I'm making up so much crazy bullshit
that if you don't say it like,
(obviously) well, of course,
then people will begin to catch wise
that it's all very invented.
So, all of you converge on Oblongata Station.
Anastasia and Stacy Fakename in Stacy's car.
Imelda with Ivana and Lance coming from Cerebell Pacific.
Hunch, Conrad, Justin, and The Fix
in still the stolen car of the boxer Self Doubt
that you've been driving around since the boxing match.
- (laughs) I'm glad,
I'm glad Ms. Loathing didn't recognize
we're driving her brother's car around.
(players laughing)
- The vanity license plate
was facing the other way. (players laughing)
- Holy shit, is my brother here?
(players laughing)
And Dan Fucks rides in the back with Don Avaricci,
setting up a trap for one Conrad Schintz.
We return to Oblongata Station. Yes, Hank, you're holding-
- Oh no, sorry you said we're gonna do a sneak checks
so I was holding it this whole time.
- Everyone go ahead and give me a sneak check.
(dice rolling satisfyingly)
- Oh my god, okay.
- [Danielle] You're a spinny boy.
- [Trapp] A spinny boy.
- Three. - Two.
- Nine.
- So Imelda got a nine. Did anyone get a six or higher?
- Got a six. - I got a seven.
- [Brennan] Okay, so it's gonna go Imelda here first
and then Stacy and Anastasia.
And then it'll be Conrad and then Dan pulling up the rear.
Dan Fucks pulling up the rear. So Imelda, oh, sorry...
- I got a four.
- Oh, we're gonna go with the highest roll
from your car. - Oh, got it.
- [Brennan] Yeah, yeah, yeah. - For the car, got it.
- So first things first,
a taxi cab pulls up
to Oblongata Station. (car driving quickly)
It is the wee hours (car pulls up quickly)
of the morning.
The rain (mimics rain pouring) falls from the storm above,
and I think as you are pulling up here
you can feel the tension, (slow noir music)
the storm- (mimics thunder crashing) The storm in the air,
those busy rail yards, and you look out.
All the trains have been pulled off the station.
All of the platforms now lie empty.
You don't even see a train to sort of jump away on here.
But you, Ivana, and Lance all jump out at the same time.
What do you do as you jump out of the cab?
- I say, Lance, you're gonna have to play lookout.
- (extremely pumped) Yes!
And you see...
(players laughing)
You see Lance says, I got ya, toots. Hey... (panting)
- You have to take my last name. You know that, right?
(Brennan laughing)
Hyper Vigi Pulse. (players laughing)
- I think you can get something for that.
You see he runs off. (players laughing)
And he runs off.
He says, I'll be up on the clock tower
on top of the rail yard!
And you see he jumps up there.
And as he does so, you see that he takes a shot of something
and his eyes, like, bug out hugely in his head
and he's like, there are threats everywhere!
And just goes up into this bell tower.
- Does it for me. It just does it for me, I don't know.
- Those bug eyes.
- In my head, I see him as kind of like,
I think he's very handsome, but he does look
in that kind of Peter Lorre way of like-
- [Freddie] Oh, yeah, yeah. - Very distinctive.
Like, he got those intense peepers.
- Ugly handsome, like one way you're like,
that's so handsome.
And then another way you're like,
blugh, turn the other way again!
(players laughing)
- Perfect. Ivana looks at you and both of you rush inside.
As you do so, what is Imelda saying to Ivana
or anyone else as you do as you enter the train station?
- I think I'm just in sort of like, okay,
well, I hope everybody else did what they needed to do.
How do you feel about your siblings?
- She looks and says, siblings, oh.
Well, Frank still all the way in Motor City.
I don't think there time for him to get here.
- Damn. - She says that.
As she does so, you look up and see Max Medulla
back in the station agent's box
who holds up a bunch of drinks and says, hey, there you are!
I got your champagne right here!
- Ivana, you like warm-temperature vodka?
- Oh, warm vodka sound very good to me, actually.
Yeah, for sure. (players laughing)
I like to have vodka
because then you say what you really think, you know?
- Sure, I get ya.
I like to drink champagne
because then you say what you really think.
- (laughing) You guys walk over and Max says, here you go.
Cheers, ladies.
Oh, I had that hot tea and well, I guess...
Is, is Anastasia getting here anytime?
- Well, I hope so.
- You hear (mimics tires screeching)
And Stacy's car (vehicle crashes)
just smashes through the front doors.
And you see Stacy literally doesn't even throw the car
into park, just throws it into neutral
and leaps out the window and starts sprinting towards
the station agent's office. - [Siobhan] Now, that's an
entrance I respect.
- [Brennan] Mm-hm. (players laughing)
- [Danielle] Stacy!
- Huh? - Slow d- slow down! (panting)
I'm not (pant) wearing (pant) - Oh, there's
no fucking trains here! - [Danielle] Shoes.
- There's no fucking trains here!
How are we gonna get away?!
- I'm not wearing shoes. I need you to slow down.
(Hank and Freddie laughing)
- You see Anastasia pull out as well.
Max says, Anastasia! Hello!
I got your hot tea right here,
and this older boxing coach drank your vodka, I'm afraid.
- Is there more?
(players laughing)
- Ah, I got a whole bottle.
The nice thing about room temperature
is I don't have to do anything to it.
- I just, I grab the bottle,
bite the thing off with my teeth,
which is unfortunate because it's not a cork.
(players laughing)
I just bite this bitch off of my teeth.
(slowly gulping down a shit ton of room temp vodka)
- [Hank] Okay, that's gonna come in handy.
(Brennan laughing)
(Danielle breathing raggedly)
(resumes drinking heavily)
- Go ahead and give me a sturdy check.
(Siobhan laughing)
- [Danielle] Oh no!
- [Trapp] Nothing as refreshing when you've been sprinting.
(players laughing)
- I was tired. I was thirsty.
Uh, that's a three. - [Alex] Oh.
- [Brennan] That is a three. Okay.
(steam hissing, pressure falls) (player gasps)
- [Hank] Oh! I will have
some more. - A little five
point drop. You see-
(Danielle exhales heavily)
We drop down from 90 to 85 in terms of pressure
as the big guy's attention momentarily dilutes itself.
The oculus beeps by your side, (notification beeping)
by the way, and you look down.
You can just see that basically all of your stuff
is completed and a clean set of pants
with all of the schematics. - Nice!
- Not only now of Elias' work
but also the schematics of the weaponized ray gun itself,
the psychometer ray.
All of that has now been collected,
and basically Elias is ready to walk out of the door,
which means that he's no longer being guided
by his last impulse.
- Great. Hey, Stacy.
- Huh? - [Siobhan] Stacy Fakename?
- Yeah, that's me.
- Well, first I've gotta say, I'm a big fan.
- Oh, that's so nice of you to say.
- And second of all, I really think that right now,
you are what this city needs.
- You see Ivana looks at Stacy and says,
hello there, sister. (cool tense music)
And you see Stacy says, (yelps) you!
And you see... (Danielle laughing)
You see that Ivana says, you know,
me and Stacy are oldest of the four.
Fawn and Freeze kinda knew.
- I'm an only child. I don't know if you could tell.
(players laughing)
- Personally, I don't think she is
what this city need right now
because those people that shoot us with the mind control ray
still up there, and they don't know that we're down here.
We can get the drop on them and kill them.
You see Stacy says,
that's the craziest thing I've ever heard!
We're gonna die! We're gonna die!
We here are strong. The big guy is not.
The big guy's gotta run.
- Here's what I say. We run.
And if we run into anybody and we have to, then...
we fight.
- And I have great news.
If we are looking to find some way
to get the big guy to do what we want him to do next,
I am now in possession
of all four of the F keys.
- My goodness. (Brennan oohs and Alex mms)
- So I think as you say that, by the way, Anastasia,
you realize Frank Freeze actually still has freeze.
- Except Frank Freeze's. (Brennan laughing)
But he will be back as soon as he decides it's a good-
Oh no. (Trapp chuckles)
He will be back, hopefully. (players laughing)
- So you see that Max looks up at both of you
and basically says like, so I'm so sorry to notice,
but it seems like we're talking a lot
about different things that are gonna happen
and sort of that, but I don't know what this is.
You're not elected government officials,
and I'm very much the station agent.
- Screw elected government officials! I'm old money!
(players laughing)
We all know who really runs this place.
And I put my key into the machine.
- Okay, I'm gonna need you
to make either a sneak or a sharp to do so,
and you're gonna have to beat a difficulty of...
Oh, that explodes, sorry.
That's gonna be a 12 from Max who's gonna try to stop you.
- Well...
That also explodes. - [Freddie] Ooh!
(player gasps)
(die rolling)
- Yeah! - That's a 16.
- Oh my god! A strong impulse.
Max goes to swat your hand and you, whoom!
That center key in the middle of the four Fs,
bam, Impulse's key goes into it, you turn it.
(mimics power buzzing) And you hear the PA sort of boot up.
By the way, you also see, like, you have the oculus.
There's a little place on the actual station agent's place
where you can plug this oculus in and kind of jury-rig
your own little switchboard here, essentially.
- You know I'm sneakier
when I've had a couple glasses of champagne inside of me.
- That's true, if you would like some
of my room-temperature vodka, you're welcome to it.
- That's disgusting. Yes, I'll have some.
(Siobhan gulping) - So I take the... (laughing)
(slams the "bottle" down) (Danielle laughing)
I take the oculus and I set it on top of the,
I don't know,
like a switch charger deck.
- Yeah. - I set it on top of there.
And I'm looking at it and I go, okay.
Mm, go!
- You hear (mimics latch clicking) of a door opening.
The big guy is walking out of his office
into Gobstopper Industries. (tense fast-paced music)
- I know how to type. I know how to type.
And so I just like,
press and hold the home button on the oculus.
- [Brennan] At this point you hear-
(tires screeching) Conrad, you roll up.
- Whoo! (casually) It's been a day.
(players laughing)
- Incredible. The four of you jump out.
Justin runs out with you.
All of you run into the station
to see this jury-rigged thing.
Max goes, oh, hold on, hold your horses!
I don't know who all of you are.
I am the station agent here,
and unless this is a life or death emergency,
which it clearly is not,
we are walking calmly down a hallway,
all of this has to go through the conscious mind
and the bureaucracy at Cortex City!
- (confidently) No it doesn't.
(players laughing)
- Nice! Yeah, get him! - Yeah, tell him, Hunch!
- Get him!
- I'm with this guy! No, it doesn't!
- [Brennan] Okay, so the...
- Genius, you're a genius, Hunch.
- I gotta try! (players laughing)
I grab the vodka bottle and just... (gulping)
- The Fix can't hear any of this.
Completely unaware that anything is going on,
and is just looking for copper.
- [Brennan] Incredible. Go ahead and give me a snoop check.
We'll call it a difficulty, call it difficulty seven.
(die rolling) (little bursting sound)
- Oh, that's 12. I've exploded twice.
- Damn!
- Oh my god! - [Hank] 13.
- 13. - [Siobhan] Nice.
- [Brennan] You beat it by more than five.
- [Danielle] Sure did. - You go over to the thing.
Again, it's like, lots of copper.
You see that there is a huge copper pipe
going down towards a radiator.
(Hank mimics breaking off the pipe)
All of you watch a like, eight-foot length of copper pipe,
bam, come out of the wall (metal clanking)
and immediately the entire upper deck
of the marble colonnade (steam hissing)
fills with steam. - [Freddie] Oh no!
- As this like, heating pipe, whoosh, spills up.
And now there's this incredible bit of concealment
as all these sort of shapes loom in and out of the mist
here in this steaming rail yard.
With that pipe coming out, some of the wiring goes out
and some of the lights
start to flicker overhead. (lights flickering)
You have this basically like,
enormous copper quarterstaff in your hand.
- I do.
- (laughing) Yeah, you do.
(players laughing)
- Incredible, so a bunch of copper weaponry
is now sort of scattered throughout the party here.
Max Medulla is going to make a check to remove you
from the station agent's booth.
They roll a 10 on their sharp check
to basically pull you away.
- Can I use a slick check to, don't you know who I am?
- You can do slick.
So you're gonna have to beat a 10, but it's a snap decision.
- Yeah. - [Brennan] Okay.
(die rolling)
- Ah, I don't do it! I got an eight.
(Hank and Danielle groaning)
- So, as you protest, you are-
- Don't you know who I am! Unhand me, man!
Unhand me, you, you, you station agent!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You've got a job!
Disgusting! (players laughing)
- The runaway heiress is just flung
from the station agent's booth,
and then I'm gonna say that anyone else who-
- I try to grab Max and fling him out.
- [Brennan] Grab Max and fling them out.
- [Trapp] Oh, right. - [Brennan] Yes.
Okay, go ahead and give me a sharp roll. Difficulty's five.
- (taps table) No. That...
Oh wait, actually, hold on.
No, no, 'cause I got plus two, so that's a four
and I'll cash in two, five. - Okay.
(Trapp makes flinging sound) You cash in two for five.
You fling Max. Max goes, crimes! Crimes!
(players laughing)
And you see Max rush over
and pull an alarm over on the wall.
(klaxon blaring)
(players groan) - [Freddie] Oh no.
- Oh no!
- Neat.
(players laughing) (pressure ramping up)
- Oh. - [Danielle] Oh no.
- [Hank] Still going. (players saying no)
- [Siobhan] Ay-yi-yi-yi. (pressure still ramping up)
- And you see in the o- (tense music)
Anastasia, you're still in the booth now.
You see as Elias begins to walk, he's changed his pants.
He's got all these things. He's walking down the hall.
And suddenly 'cause this is the first time
that he sort of started to catch his breath,
he suddenly cannot catch his breath.
He's like, (gasps) oh my god! They tried to mind control me!
I, I'm, oh, I'm just, I gotta get...
And you just see all of this mayhem,
and the only key that's in there right now
is still impulse in the center.
You can see that basically like, he's losing his nerve.
His heart rate is getting dangerous.
I will also remind everyone here
that should his pressure meter get all the way to 240,
he's gonna faint and pass out.
- Oh, that's not good. - Okay, I go up to Fight
and I'm like, hey, I understand that you all
are having a little tête-à-tête,
but I need to borrow both of you really quickly
over by the keyhole.
- Ivana says, what do you want?
- We gotta put a key in the hole.
- Oh, you want to put key in hole?
- Yes. - Go ahead and give me,
just call it a slick seven.
(die rolling)
(little bursting sound)
- That is... - [Trapp] That explodes.
- Oh, that does explode.
I didn't need the two so that was 10.
17, 18, 19.
- Ooh.
- [Brennan] 19? - Yeah.
- Unbelievable, so you see Ivana says, I don't know why,
but I'm gonna listen to you.
- Thank you, I really appreciate it. Key please.
- Which key do you wanna go with?
Do you wanna go with Stacy's first
or do you wanna go with Ivana's first?
- I am going to take Ivana's first
since she has given it gracefully,
and then I'm going to walk over to Stacy Fakename
and I'm just gonna be like,
you know, it has been fantastic getting to know you,
and we are going to get out of this
just as soon as we possibly-
Punched in the face, punched in the gut!
- (laughing) You punch her in the stomach.
(regurgitates) And she just... (pleasant light sound)
- Bam!
- And you grab Stacy's key. (yelps)
I'm gonna say on a 19 on that incredibly high roll,
you can throw another key on in there,
but as soon as you get back into the booth,
you have them both so you have yours
and now three others.
- Yes. - [Brennan] So you're holding
four keys.
- And then hers is already in.
- Hers in already in and turned. Max has pulled the alarm.
At this point, you hear a yell from the clock tower
and says, Ms. Pulse, we got incoming!
And you see a car pull up, (slow sinister music)
and none other than Dan Fucks steps out of the car.
As you're stepping out, a voice in the car says,
do what you need to do.
Get the kid to step outside.
- No problem. And I wink at him.
- [Brennan] Mm-hm.
- Sorry, something in my eye. Oh god.
(players laughing)
- [Brennan] So Dan, you step out.
You are collecting those keys.
Hunch, you've bodied Max under there.
You've got this copper thing in your hand.
Conrad, you're still near the door.
Justin turns around (woofs)
and looks over at Dan approaching.
- [Freddie] How far away am I from...
- The car pulled up just sort of on the sidewalk
so you're only about 15 feet.
You're 15, 20 feet away with like,
Conrad's basically right on the other side of the doors.
- Okay, okay. Oh, Justin, Justin.
(Brennan woofs) Over here.
(barks) You see Justin nuzzles the door open and runs out.
Dan, we gotta get inside!
The big guy's making a break for it!
- Oh, oh, oh! Yes, yes, yeah.
Just lead me in. Lead me to your child.
(woofs) All right. (Hank laughing)
- Forthwith!
- The most menacing thing I've ever heard.
(Alex laughing)
- Justin's like... (woofs agreeingly)
- Wow, Dan's talking so normal!
(players laughing)
- Justin runs back in and says, Conrad, Dan's outside.
- Oh, okay.
- Dan, are you staying outside by the car in this moment
or are you entering the building?
- I'm walking up and I'm standing by the doorway.
- Gotcha, okay.
So yeah, you see Dan standing by the doorway.
- [Alex] Do I see the Avaricci car?
- Give me a snoop check, and we'll call it a
DC of eight
because of all the steam in here.
- [Hank] That's my bad. - Steamy.
(Danielle giggling)
(tense music)
That's a nine. - Hey!
- [Siobhan] Hey!
- You see Avaricci's car outside.
- Oh, uh,
Justin, it looks like our friend Dan
just got out of that car.
- Hm?
- I don't know if we should go over there.
- Oh, do you think he stole it?
- Dan, did you steal that car?
- Whoa, what car?
(players laughing bewilderedly)
- [Hank] That's so... (Freddie laughing)
And I'm gonna snoop now 'cause that seems weird.
(players laughing)
- Dan's talking so normal.
(players laughing)
- Not suspicious at all. - Oh, but I am so focused
on this fucking, the thing that I shot earlier.
- Yeah. - That didn't die at all.
I couldn't notice anything. - Well, why don't you come,
why don't you come towards me instead?
- Oh very well Conrad. And I walk over towards him.
- Cool. - Conrad, you ignoramus
what's, give me the update, the download.
- [Alex] Okay. - What's happening?
- A lot's happening. And I give the download. (laughing)
- Cool.
- Does Dan give us the download too?
- What did you download, my boy?
- Yeah, what have you been up to?
- I'm gonna say, actually, that given what's going on
there is no possibility for download right now.
- Great, sure. - [Alex] Oh.
- I think it's all happening too fast.
- [Alex] Okay. - So our...
But I know that, I just wanna know that our guy is like,
is moving, is doing- - Elias is,
you can see on the oculus
that Anastasia is like- - Right.
- [Brennan] Gathering keys to go and start controlling
what's going on here.
- [Freddie] Okay, so- - The Fix is getting
so freaked out by that noise.
He really doesn't like that noise. It's very distracting.
- [Brennan] Yeah. - He pushes past Conrad.
He's not even thinking straight.
I just gotta stop that. What is that?
I gotta stop that noise. He's just moving out.
And he just like, walks out of the door.
- Hell yeah. - Headed toward
wherever that big switch was. - The big switch.
So that's over by the wall with Max so you head over there.
Max looks up. (stammers nervously) Hi, Mr. The Fix.
Listen, we, we uh, we don't- (klaxon blaring)
- Just moves, he doesn't even see him.
- Yeah. - He can't hear him.
He just tries to make the noise stop making noise.
- [Brennan] Go ahead and give me a sharp check.
(klaxon still blaring)
DC eight.
- That's a 13.
- You grab with a hand and
crush the alarm box on the wall, (metal crunching)
and the noise stops.
- [Freddie] Oh! - That's better.
(Brennan laughing)
- But nothing happens to the pressure.
(Danielle makes optimistic pressure sound)
- To the pressure?
- [Danielle] Just like a little... (more optimistic sounds)
- [Brennan] You got a 13?
- [Danielle] Uh-huh. - Yeah, let's go.
So 13 divided by...
(players giggling)
- Please, please, daddy. (Freddie laughing)
- Yeah, we're
gonna move that down, - [Siobhan] Daddy, please.
- 30. We'll keep that same math we were doing before
so we go from 180 (steam hisses, pressure falls)
all the way down to 150.
- I'll take it. - Okay, yeah.
- [Brennan] As the alarm goes off
and the pressure starts to subside.
- [Hank] Yeah, so I, okay. - Back to Conrad.
- Oh thank you. Thank you for turning off the alarm.
- So loud. - Is there a phone in here
now that they're working?
I need a telephone.
- [Siobhan] A phone. - And I wanna cast about
for a telephone.
- Yeah, you see that there's a phone booth
over in the corner, yeah. - Okay.
Everybody just like, hold on one second.
I need to make an important phone call.
- Hold on one second?
- [Freddie] So I'm going to spend-
- This is a pretty urgent
situation, Fucks. - Yes, yes, yes,
but I have something-
- Hold on to what?
- Oh, hold on to whatever's nearby. It'll only be a second.
- No one needs to follow what Dan is saying.
- Yeah, yeah. (players laughing)
Yeah!
- [Brennan] Absolutely no one needs to-
- By the emergency powers vested in me,
everyone just hang on one second.
- You actually see that Max looks at you and says,
oh, Mr. Emergency Mayor! (players laughing)
- Yes, yes, bring me a phone! So I would like to spend-
So I have spend one Moxie to locate
and receive help within reason
without making any stat checks from a criminal network.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- So specifically, I only have three.
I'd like to get one from someone. I'd like to call-
- I can give you two. - Okay.
- So one, two, three, four. I'm gonna spend that.
I'd like to call the club. I'd like to call Sugah.
- Okay, you call Sugah's. Yes, absolutely.
Hello, Sugah's. (jazz club music)
- Hey, this is the big man, the boss.
No, not the big man. It's just me, your boss.
- [Brennan] Oh! - It's Dan.
- Oh, hello. How's it going, boss?
Oh, I heard you were the mayor now.
Do we still have to be a secret?
- We'll see about that.
I need you to check on something for me.
- Oh, will do.
- The man upstairs has undertaken
a certain series of actions judged,
guided by his conscience, as it may seem.
I need to ask you, check the stockroom.
Has there been an influx of new good chemicals
(Danielle laughing) as a result of this?
What's our stock looks like?
- Well, it's the middle of the night, sir,
but I can try to see if we've gotten any invoices
for morning or something like that.
We won't know until the trains come in.
(Freddie grumbles)
- I, mm, okay.
- I think as Dan looks out, your instinct of like,
is there gonna be a payoff?
- [Freddie] Yeah, yeah, yeah. - [Siobhan] Mm-hm.
- I think Dan's gonna have to make a guess,
before- - Hmm.
- [Brennan] 'Cause he won't know for sure
before he has to act.
- Conrad is confused why Dan called him over
and then just ran away. (players laughing)
And so Conrad kinda comes bounding back up to his friend
of like, hey, Mr. Fucks, do you um...
(players laughing) Notice anything...
- Conrad- - You notice anything,
I don't know, different?
(players laughing)
- I look down. - He's like trying
to stand as straight as possible.
- Why are you standing on your tippy toes?
- No, no. Well, yes, sorry.
Okay, now I'm standing just on my feet.
- Well now my point of reference is now all screwed up
so now you look shorter
than you were. - Okay.
- [Freddie] Have you shrunk?
- Oh, uh, no. I think I might be a little taller.
- Oh, I'll have to take your word for it.
Conrad, I have a question for you,
and you answer me honestly.
- Okay. - [Freddie] You rapscallion.
- I always do. - I expect nothing less.
You have pushed the big man upstairs
towards a possibly disastrous path.
- Uh, yep.
- Why?
- Well... (sighs)
It was gonna eat away at him otherwise.
Eat away at me, eat away at all of us, you know?
So I thought maybe
we should try something different this time.
- Trying something different this time. (grumbles)
- You hear the phone (phone ringing)
in the phone booth ring, Dan.
- Oh, that's probably for me. I'll be right back.
- What the? What are you-
This is a very important situation right now!
(players laughing)
- Hello! - I look at, just,
on the oculus, is Elias like,
still like- - Elias is moving.
We're gonna go ahead and resolve whatever-
So you arrive, Anastasia, with a bunch of these keys.
Hunch, you're there as well.
You've leaned over. You've gotten the alarm.
Imelda, you're also close by here, too.
Ivana and Stacy, honestly not that far away, right?
You've got all these keys at your disposal
so we're gonna resolve the next thing.
As you start looking through the keys,
what's the key you put in for Elias
as he's walking down the hallway?
- I don't want to freeze.
I do wanna calm him down.
- I don't think we have time for calm.
I think we just gotta run away.
- Oh. Yeah, I think I'm gonna put in flight.
- (mimics key entering and power buzzing) You put in flight
and (light bursting) that microphone buzzes again
and you see Stacy looks at that and goes,
(gasps) may I?
- Absolutely.
- (staticky) Big guy, Elias...
I'm Stacy Fakename.
- Say your real name, Stacy!
- My real name is Stacy Fakename.
(players laughing)
- (disbelievingly) Okay! That's what I said.
- What name would be better for me
than a name of me trying to get out of a situation?
- Okay, sure.
- And you see she says,
listen, you're in a tremendous amount of danger.
You've got to stop just walking.
You've got to run, (tense music)
but run in a way that doesn't draw attention to yourself!
You need to get out of here as fast as you can!
As she yells that and he starts to book it...
- Uh-huh. - One of the rules of our game
changes in the moment that you turn the key
for Stacy Fakename.
- Mm?
- Pressure, something that up till this point
has been negative, but not something that exists
in the mind for no reason.
As the key for flight is turned,
the ratio shifts.
Moxie that are now spent for a sneak roll,
normally you would have to spend four to add plus one.
Now spending one gives you plus four.
- Nice!
- As Stacy Fakename takes over, all of this adrenaline,
all of this stuff throughout the city
pulses again (tech pulsing)
as suddenly Elias goes, you're gonna die.
You're gonna fucking die. You gotta get the fuck outta here!
And begins to move through this place.
- Doesn't running offer you endorphins,
and wouldn't endorphins help us lower some of the pressure?
- They would, absolutely.
- I know science.
- [Brennan] Go ahead and give me,
I think in this case, a snoop check.
- You're not gonna give me the DC, are you?
- [Brennan] No. - Nah, I didn't think so.
Hey, what do we got here?
Is that? Oh, is this...
That was a six. Dang it. - Six, that's okay.
This is gonna lower us all the way to, we'll call it 130.
Bam. - [Danielle] Great.
- Can I ask more questions about this rule change?
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- So if we're in the yellow, will that be-
- [Brennan] One to two, yep. - C plus is two.
- Great, so we wanna keep it in the red,
but I think it's good to keep in the lower end of the red.
- [Danielle] Yeah. - [Brennan] Yeah.
- So we don't just pass
out as we're running. - [Hank] Die, yeah.
- So that's the funny thing, right?
'Cause red is now good for some checks,
but you can still get a little too red.
(players laughing lightly)
- Everything in moderation.
- [Siobhan] Yes. - What we espouse
here at Dimension 20.
- [Brennan] Yeah. (players laughing)
So, Dan, the phone is ringing. (phone ringing)
- Okay, I'd like to answer it.
- What's the holdup, Fucks?
- I'm taking care of it, dammit!
If you want to be a partner with me,
you're going to need to trust my methods.
- I'm absolutely listening in.
I'm still, I'm probably only hearing Dan's side
of the conversation, but just, it's,
you know, shit's going on.
Hunch is like... - You pan over
and there's like a cup on the glass.
(players laughing)
- Yeah, I think you just hear, you hear those two voices.
You hear that interaction.
Dan, you hear Avaricci say, if you can't get the kid,
just come back out yourself and we'll take care of it.
- Okay, so I'm gonna turn to the group, and I say,
all right, it's time to come clean.
Conrad. - Uh-huh.
- [Freddie] Are you a gambling man?
- (matter-of-factly) No.
- Well, luckily for you, I am, (players laughing)
and I detect within you a potential for a huge payoff,
but not, perhaps, in the way you may think.
I see the way you look at me, but the powers vested in me
by these emergency powers thanks to my attorney
has given me a broader perspective on things.
Here's my plan. Just like, hear me out for a second.
Don Avaricci wishes to enter a partnership with me
and to rule this land and the land of pleasure and vices,
but I see that that is only a short-term solution.
In order to do this, in order to enact this regime change,
as it were, he demands the head, the death of you, Conrad.
Now, I am quite inclined for such a thing,
but these recent events, these days,
this time I have spent with you my,
hm, dare I say, new friends.
(Alex gasps in surprise) Has given me
a different perspective, different idea.
So like, this idea, I think,
is even better than the previous good idea I had,
which as we know turned out perfectly fine.
(players laughing)
- Oh, uh, just to double check, Mr. Fucks,
you're willing to give away...
ab- ultimate power in this city,
wealth, pleasure, all, everything to save me,
the little- - No, absolutely not,
you dolt! - [Alex] Oh, sorry, I thought-
- I plan on getting all of that!
- Oh, okay. - Here's the plan!
Conrad, Justin.
(Brennan barks softly) Can either of you-
both, can both of you play dead?
- I don't know the details of this plan...
(players laughing) - [Hank] I don't like it.
- But from what I do know- - [Freddie] Here, let me
pitch this out real quick. - It sounds bad.
- Conrad's already on the ground.
(players laughing)
- You see, yeah, Justin goes (barks to death)
and like, plays dead with Conrad.
- All right.
- [Alex] We used to play- - Oh, one more thing, Conrad.
I shake you awake a little bit.
- Oh yeah, oh, oh.
- [Freddie] Do you know how to fire a gun?
- Um, I've read about it. (inquisitive music)
- Ah, okay. So here's my plan, all right?
I drag the apparently dead bodies of Conrad
and his faithful dog companion Justin out
where Don Avaricci's waiting for my in the car, you see.
But in fact, he's not dead.
He is playing dead and he is armed to the teeth
with two heaters, one in each hand!
And as I approach the car, upon my signal, Conrad,
you pop up and lay waste to them.
What do you think of that?
- Fucks, we got Self Loathing barrelling-
somewhere around here probably trying to take shit over.
We got Elias running through the halls
where people are trying to kill him,
and you're trying to hatch a grand plan
where Conrad plays dead. - [Freddie] Yes.
- So you can get rich.
- I don't hate it.
(players laughing)
- You discerned the matter precisely, my friend.
- All right. Sounds interesting.
(Freddie laughing) - Mr. Fucks,
I gotta say, that's the most confidence
anyone's ever put in me.
(players laughing)
- You can see that Stacy is like, piloting the big guy
over in the station booth for the moment.
So what is it you do in this moment here?
- 'Cause here's my thinking.
It's like, you know, there's a lot of stuff going on.
You're right, you have to take care of one thing
at a time, you know?
You have to focus on the things that are in front of you.
Right now we have a crime family
with armed goons knocking at our door
if they don't hear a response from me forthwith.
- Yeah, but they're just waiting for you, right?
- Yes. - So we got a bit of time now.
- That's true, that's true.
(players laughing)
- Why don't we give you a gun,
and you can go walk out there and shoot them.
And if you die, it's just you.
- I would like some insurance in the form
of Conrad next to me because if I'm going down dammit!
- Can I just do a quick ch-
'Cause I feel like I should have seen Madam Loathing by now.
Can I do a quick check just to see, to look for-
- Yeah, give me a snoop. We'll call it snoop 14.
- Okay. - [Hank] Ooh, Jesus.
It's dark in the darkness. - We're still in the red
so Moxie ain't gonna help me much here.
That is a seven, and Moxie's too expensive
for me to modify that so that's just a seven.
- [Brennan] You don't detect anything around there.
So Dan has hatched this insane plan.
- No, no, reasonable,
cool plan. - Reasonable, cool plan.
But I think that ultimately, the rest of you
also looking at what's going on with the big guy,
which after all, is existential, right?
- Yeah. - [Danielle] Mm-hm.
- Conrad, you and Justin look at each other
and you basically go like, I mean, Dan's, you know,
never really done anything nice for us even one time.
- Mm-hm. (Danielle laughing)
- Has been a constant hectoring presence sort of always,
and seems to in this, the 11th hour, have found a way
to manipulate us for his own selfish ends.
(Freddie and Hank laughing)
- Yeah, all right. That's a lot a reasons, Justin, yeah.
- Yeah, I don't really know where I'm going with this.
(players laughing)
- I, I also have a key, guys.
- You do?
- Can I do like a savvy roll or something of like,
see what I can do with this key?
- Give me a snoop and a savvy.
We'll call the savvy six and we'll call the snoop four.
- Okay, I asked for a savvy
'cause I don't think I've rolled a single savvy
in the game.
Four plus two, that's a six.
- [Brennan] Whoo!
- And then what was...
- [Brennan] Snoop is four.
- Seven. - Hell yeah.
Looking at the board in front of you,
you feel that there could be something possible
by putting your key in there.
And on that snoop check, you are able to see
a flash of shadow,
as Madam Loathing attacks Anastasia.
- No! - [Freddie] Oh!
- What the hell? (tense music)
- I'm going to need a sturdy check from Anastasia.
- [Siobhan] Oh no. - It's the scary lighting.
(players laughing)
- [Brennan] The difficulty is 15.
- Oh, well then fuck this.
It's a two. - Oh no.
- And with this attack, I'm going to ask something
from everyone here because this will apply to you
and your enemies.
- Oh boy.
- How many injuries would you like people
to be able to survive?
(players ohing in thoughtful consideration)
- 16.
(players laughing) - Oh, wow.
You just wanna play all night. (players laughing)
- I wanna say three? - That was my first instinct.
Seems like- - I'm gonna say-
- [Freddie] One light, one heavy.
- I'm gonna say three is fair to me,
but I will say- - Right, or one,
or one light and one heavy.
- I will say, yes, I will say
that a light is one and a heavy is two,
and a heavy is when you fail by five or more,
so, Anastasia, (ball sliding on a track)
as you are standing there you hear a
(shouts) as this key lunges.
I'm gonna say this. The key is coming right for your chest.
- Uh-huh.
- You can either allow the key to enter your chest,
at which point you know what happens then
or you can dodge out of the way but risk losing your balance
and something else bad happening
that will not be life-threatening
but could potentially tilt to some other bad effect.
- Can I fucking shoot her?
- No, not on this moment. - Damn it! Okay.
- You have to, this is a snap reaction to
what you do. - Snap reaction.
- But sneak's cheap right now. - Yeah.
- [Hank] Sneak's cheap. - A lot of sneak is cheap-
- Sneak is cheap. - If you're trying to dodge.
- If you're trying to dodge, you can attempt to sneak, yeah.
- All right, come on.
I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.
Possibly maybe. Actually no, I can do this.
Okay, that's an eight. - I got Moxie to give,
too. - Nine, 10,
and then with this one I get four
so that brings me to 14 so- - I give you one.
- Boom! - Hell yeah. You all watch.
Certain death comes barreling for Anastasia Tension.
(shouts) As it does, you, nerves of steel, kick back,
(mimics wind whipping) choosing instead to hit the deck.
You hit hard, bam, sustaining a heavy injury,
and as you do all of you watch in bullet time
(pleasant light sound)
as keys go flying.
(Siobhan gasps) - [Alex] Oh no!
- And unable to get another (tense battle music)
thrall of this mind control,
she takes her consolation prize, which is Ivana's key,
(whoom) and grabs the fight key.
At that same time, you all hear the doors get
kicked open as gangsters (doors being kicked open)
charge the train station.
- I thought this train would be fine.
(players laughing)
- As awesome as these plans were, these gangsters
were not gonna just kick it out there all night.
- This is why you listen to me when I get cool, good plans.
- I feel like we wasted a lot of time
listening to Dan's plan. (players laughing)
- Incredible, so gangsters charge the station.
Madam Loathing vanishes into the mist. You hear Max yell.
Stacy is over at the switchboard
a little bit farther away from you.
You know that Lance is upstairs.
Ivana and Justin are down here sort of in the mix with you.
I am gonna turn it over to all six of you
to tell me what you are doing
as this wave of threats suddenly appears.
- I am certainly fixated on Loathing.
I'm going to try to find her if I can and attack her.
And if I can't find her, I'm going to swing my copper pipe
wildly in the general direction I think she is.
- Hell yes. (Trapp laughing)
Go ahead and give me, I'm gonna say snoop 14.
- Okay.
(die rolling)
(sighs) That is a 12,
and snoop costs- costs four, right?
- [Brennan] Snoops costs four.
However, I will say this.
I think, Anastasia, it occurs to you,
as you're looking at that, if you were to put your key,
your actual family key in, snoop would be your stat
and that would become one Moxie for every-
You would get plus four per Moxie.
- [Trapp] Got it.
- I'm going to, I'm gonna put it into...
Nope, 'cause we've got the fight key here.
So freeze, I'll put it into freeze
'cause that's the one that we don't have that's here.
- Yeah, I think you put it into freeze,
and also, and sort of what Elias is doing right now,
the time for freezing is over.
Like, this is, like in this moment it's like,
everything that would have gone to freezing
is now going to alertness as Anastasia,
you go up, turn your key.
Snoop joins our list of skills
that you can get a plus four with a single Moxie.
But I will say that we're still gonna call that
a failure on that roll because you went first here
so I'm gonna throw these your way.
- [Trapp] Got it.
- But it doesn't take your action to do that
so you can still choose what to do,
but you're basically looking at the mist, can't see Madam-
- [Trapp] I don't see her. - You don't see Loathing, no.
- Okay, cool.
- [Brennan] But you hear gangsters rushing in and...
- All right, but I still take a wild swing
with the copper pipe into the mist where,
and just sort of hoping I might blindly hit Loathing here.
- [Brennan] Hell yeah. Go ahead and give me a 16 sharp.
(Siobhan and Trapp laughing)
- (determined) Fine! (players laughing)
I will! That is precisely what I'll do.
- [Brennan] Hell yeah, hell yeah.
(Siobhan huffs in frustration)
- That is a seven.
Does it hit anything else that isn't Loathing?
- You do not hit anything. That is another failure.
Here's two more Moxie.
- I'll rack up the Moxie. That's fine.
- [Hank] Yes, well done. - Wait, so which...
Are there any more keys in the air
from when they went flying?
- Anastasia has all of them.
So the only one Loathing could grab was Ivana's.
You still have fawn, your own key,
which you've just used in the station,
and I think that's it, right?
- I wanna try and take care of these gangsters.
- [Brennan] Hell yeah.
- And so I'm gonna turn to the gangsters and say,
gentlemen, please, there are ladies present!
And then just fully flash them.
(Danielle and Hank laughing)
- [Brennan] Incredible! Go-
- I got two of them right here!
(players laughing)
- Go ahead. I'm gonna say this is a slick 14.
- [Alex] Wow! - Great.
And you would say that they generally love my creative
and or charitable work in this situation, right?
- I'm gonna say a fraction of them do.
- Great, then I get a 16.
- But a 13 for the rest? So...
- Great. - [Brennan] Yes so I will say-
- I got some of them. - So I'll say actually,
for those ones you don't get, here's a failure token.
- [Siobhan] Great. - But you see one of them goes
wowie wow, wow, wow!
I gotta say, I loved your article!
(players laughing)
So a fraction of them have been peeled away
and distracted by you.
- Do we have a rough count?
- Probably a dozen gangsters charging this space.
Yes, absolutely.
And of those dozen, probably, you know,
four of them have just gotten peeled off by Imelda.
- Eyeballs fully bulging. - [Brennan] Ahooga! Yeah.
- So I wanna take care of the gansters as well
so I'm gonna turn to them and say,
gentlemen, there are ladies present!
Check this out! And I also similarly...
'Cause I've been wearing a robe this whole time, baby!
- [Brennan] Just flash your dong? - Same thing, same move.
- All right, incredible.
Give me slick 14 as well.
- Oh, great. - Watch this work.
- Oh, so close! - It was so close.
- [Siobhan] It was so close. - Six plus four, 10.
- Okay, so you see that Imelda flashes her breasts.
People go, wow!
You flash your hog, and a bunch of people shoot you.
(guns firing) (players laughing)
(Brennan screaming in horror) (guns firing)
- But they're distracted. - [Brennan] They are.
- Those are bullets that are being wasted, right?
- Yeah, in the sense that your body
is distracting the bullets (fast-paced music)
from hitting other people's vital organs,
yeah, an incredible distraction.
Let's go ahead-
- What a hero. - What a hero.
They're going to attack you. I'm gonna need a sturdy 15.
- Oh yes, with this d6. - Oh god!
- Let's see how far we get. - Oh no!
- Oh, Hank. Worry not.
- Yeah, you just have to
explode twice. - I've got some boxcars
coming.
(little bursting sound) Number six!
- [Danielle] Oh! - [Brennan] Okay, it explodes.
- [Freddie] One explode. - Gotta get to 14.
Gotta get to 14.
- This feels like craps. Everyone's rooting.
Or except I guess in craps, people are rooting for you.
- [Siobhan] Yeah, hm.
- H'ya!
(Siobhan shouts) (little bursting sound)
- Another six!
(players yelling in joy)
- [Freddie] 12! (upbeat jazzy music)
- Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
- Okay, if you roll a one, it's all for naught. A two...
This is Box of Doom. - No if he rolls a one
he's gonna- - This is Box of Doom.
Give me the Box!
- Box of Doom over here.
- If you hit a two, it's all different.
- (blows on dice) I'm not even, nah...
Well, check my watch. My heart rate's not even pumping.
No problem.
Four, baby! - Four!
- Oh my god! (players cheering)
All of you in the mist watch a fleet of gangsters
shoot Dan Fucks' dick
and bullets ricochet in all directions.
- It's so hard! (players laughing)
- As you see, I'm gonna say at the last minute
you push your dick to the side, and your diamond-hard balls-
- Yeah, diamond-hard balls, baby!
- [Brennan] Ping, ping, ping, pang, pang, ping, pang!
- Dude, roleplaying games are so rad.
(players laughing)
- Don't forget your die.
- [Brennan] Truly unbelievable. - Oh my god.
I am flooded with adrenaline.
- [Brennan] Yeah, un- (players laughing)
- Ah, Hank, you didn't believe!
- I didn't, you're right!
- I want to intercut that scene
with the behind-the-scenes footage
where we're like, are roleplaying games art?
(players laughing)
- Oh my god.
That's the most unbelievable thing I've ever seen.
We're gonna resolve what everybody else is doing.
So we still have Conrad and The Fix to go.
- I wanna snoop for Loathing.
And what's...
I rolled a four, but there's a,
we have an advantage here with Moxie.
- Yes, so every Moxie, so I said-
- [Hank] But I don't know what the check is.
- The DC, I said before was 14, I believe.
We'll call it 14 here.
- That's not, I'm not getting there.
- Well hold on, that's not necessarily true.
- Yeah, you get four per one Moxie.
- [Trapp] So you get four per one Moxie.
- I know, but like,
there are gonna be better opportunities to
snoop around. - I don't know, I-
- [Brennan] It's possible but- - I think you should
spend your money.
- I'm... - But I am impulsive, so...
(players laughing) - I've got so much Moxie,
and I hate Loathing right now.
And I just look, you know, I've-
- So four, so I'll take one from me
and I'll take two from you.
- Cool, and I, (laughs) I yell to The Fix,
she's not over here!
(players laughing)
- Hell yeah, okay, so you're gonna spend the Moxie
to get to that 14 snoop check.
- Okay, let's do it. Hell yeah.
- You, (mimics pipe swinging) as you yell that, Hunch,
you're swinging blindly.
You hear, cling, and connect.
A hand grabs the copper pipe. (player gasps)
And Ivana Popov leans out of the mist with white eyes.
- [Siobhan] Oh no!
- I don't think so, Hunch. - Mm...
- And she's going to punch you. She's got a d20 in fight.
(tense music) (die taps table)
That's a natural 20. - No!
- [Brennan] That explodes. - Yeah.
- [Alex] No.
(tense music) (die taps table)
- That's another natural 20.
[Siobhan and Danielle] No!
- [Alex] No!
- [Hank] What? (players groaning)
- [Brennan] Oh no!
- Some truly wild dice rolls this episode.
- And that's a 19. - Wow! 20, 20, 19?
- 59. - [Brennan] 20-
- That's the best anybody's ever rolled in this game!
- [Brennan] 19,
she rolls a 50- - I say, when I'm fighting,
the name's Stacy Fakename.
(players laughing)
Unaware of the pain that's about to rain down.
- With a 59 sharp check, (Siobhan laughing)
the fight response of Elias Hodge comes
rocketing at you
for all of this potential.
You may roll if you so choose.
- I'm going to try! - You must try.
- You miss all the shots you don't take.
Am I rolling sturdy? - [Brennan] Sturdy.
- That's my strongest one. - [Danielle] All right.
- You just have to do what she just did.
- I just have to do exactly what she just did.
- [Hank] Or one better. - What was the other option?
He's just dead? (players laughing)
- We've established the rules that failing by 10 or more
doesn't increase the severity. - [Trapp] Yeah.
- So you're only gonna take - I'll get a heavy hit.
- Two out of three on this one.
- Yeah.
(cool tense music)
(die rolling)
(Siobhan laughing) (nat one sound)
- [Hank] Is that a one? - A nat one.
- [Hank] Oh my god, now what? - [Alex] Oh no!
- [Trapp] No, no, wait. That's a seven, it's a seven.
- No, it rolled when you hit the table.
- Oh, did it? (laughing) - [Hank] Yeah.
- [Alex] God. - [Danielle] Yeah.
- [Brennan] Well... - [Siobhan] Wow.
- Shit.
- I think on a nat one versus a 59...
- (laughing) Is that biggest spread you've ever seen?
I feel like that's the biggest spread.
- That's the biggest spread I've-
- Can I use any Moxie? (players laughing)
- [Freddie] That's the thing. Do you get a-
- Does it help that I recover from injuries more quickly
and don't suffer lasting effects from most injuries?
- I think what I'm going to say here
is that you are punched out of the building.
- Right. (players laughing)
- I think that all of you watch
as Ivana Popov goes,
(screams) boom! (bones cracking)
And all of you watch as the mist parts
and rings of mist come off as you... (screams)
(brick wall crumbling)
You rocket through the wall down the train yard,
and I think you go like, a quarter of a mile down the track
of (mimics impacts landing) just eating wood
through the rail struts. - Oh, Jesus Christ!
(Brennan mimics impacts crashing)
- You end up there with a,
like, basically you should be dead.
You're one point away from,
you should be dead. - Sure.
- [Brennan] That's where we're gonna stop.
The Fix, you get your snoop-
- Yeah, I took my snoop.
- And you see Madam Loathing rearing up over Stacy Fakename
who is currently commanding Elias Hodge in the kiosk.
- Oh, other Stacy Fakename.
- Not my fight name, yeah.
- The real Stacy Fakename. - This one, not this one
or that one or this one or that one.
- [Brennan] Okay. - Does Madam Loathing
still have a broken arm? - Unclear.
- Okay. - [Brennan] Unclear.
Here we go. You're gonna take a swing.
- Yeah, yeah, I've got a very large copper pipe,
and I'm gonna try to kill this person with it.
- Okay, it's opposed rolls.
I'll roll in front of the board here.
She's got a d12 in sturdy.
She hits an eight.
- I hit, I mean, there's a world in which that's an eight,
but it is a three and that's plus two.
- You take a swing, whoosh.
She (grunts) ducks out of the way, spins it around.
Oh, Fix, you didn't want this dance, I promise you.
You know, you're something of a simple function, aren't you.
(suspenseful music)
Always much better as a puppet.
Maybe you should just do as you're told.
Conrad, that's gonna be you.
- What's going on on the oculus?
- Give me a snoop. Call it a difficulty eight.
- Nine.
- As you look at the oculus, you see Elias turn a corner
and run right into Mr. Henry.
- Oh.
- You see Mr. Henry right there in front of him,
and you see Henry...
put a meaty hand
on the big guy's shoulder and grin.
Time warps around you, Conrad,
as you see Mr. Henry speaking going,
(echoing, speaking slowly) there's our special guy.
Oh, Mr. Hodge, where are you going in such a hurry?
- And you see Stacy at the thing go, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh!
Suddenly not able to function. The pressure...
- [Danielle] Fuck. - [Alex] Oh, no, no, no.
Okay, okay, um... (pressure ramping up)
- [Brennan] Conrad.
- Conrad isn't sure if there's people behind Mr. Henry,
but seeing all this, he takes his key
and he puts it into the fight response.
- All of you watch a gleaming silver key surge forward.
Conrad runs up.
As Conrad runs up, puts it into the fight response. Boom!
As you do so, you see Elias...
(gasps)
reach out.
(tense music)
(punch landing)
(players laughing in satisfaction)
Boom! Mr. Henry, koo, goes back.
Pure conscience, and you watch
as Ivana turns to you.
And with the power of that key, (mimics energy bursting)
the white leaves her eyes as she... (grunts)
Your key undid what happened to Justin
and it undoes what happened to Ivana.
Elias, the big guy fucking knocks out Henry in one punch.
And Hunch, you pull your head up,
pull splinters out of your teeth,
and hear, choo-choo! (train whistle howling)
(Brennan mimics trains arriving)
Trains, dozens of trains, hundreds of trains.
(Brennan mimics trains chugging)
- My god, the greatest pleasure is punching your boss.
(players laughing)
- At the front of the train, Dan, you whip around
with your diamond-hard nutsack swinging in the wind.
And as you do, you turn out to look.
The steam and mist parts.
As it does, you see at the head engine,
you see these trains. (energetic music)
They have ropes around them to tie extra cargo to the top,
tons of endorphins and serotonin and adrenaline, oxytocin,
everything under the sun!
All of these different hormones and neurotransmitters,
pleasures that Hodge hasn't known in a generation.
And at the very front of the train, leaping to the top,
ripping his uniform off, (clothes ripping)
jacked as hell,
Wilton starts waving the flag. (players cheering)
- Here comes the revolution! (players laughing)
♪ Do you hear the testicles sing ♪
♪ Singing the song of swollen balls ♪
(players laughing) - Wilton, my brother!
- Vive la révolution! And... (players laughing)
And all of these trains pull into the station.
The mist parts and as it does, the fight continues.
However, everyone's taken an action
so unfortunately now... - No!
- [Brennan] We go back to the villains' turn.
- Does that, do any of these endorphins
bring the pressure down?
- I think, Hunch, you were like a billion miles away.
You can just grab on to one of these trains and like,
zoom back towards the fight.
Go ahead and give me a sturdy roll on behalf,
basically, of Elias to try and settle down.
- Okay.
(die rolling)
That is an eight, and what's the, how much Moxie?
There's no sturdy Moxie bonus right now.
- There's no sturdy Moxie bonus right now.
- Fuck it, we'll keep it at eight. That's fine.
- [Brennan] Keep it at eight so it's gonna come down 20.
- [Trapp] Okay.
- So the pressure continues to come down.
His heart is going a million miles as he, (pants) boom!
As he socks Mr. Henry in the face.
Now, unfortunately, it's gonna be our villains,
then it's gonna go back to all of you.
- And then is there an advantage for a different roll
for the key that's in- - [Hank] For the sharp.
- The new key? - [Danielle] Mm.
- [Brennan] Oh. - [Siobhan] Oh, yes.
- Conrad's key is in fight so. - [Siobhan] In fight.
- Let me ask you this.
So you triggered the fight response there.
Do you want to give your bonus to fight right now
or do you want to give your bonus to maybe something else.
Something mysterious. - Uh...
- [Brennan] Maybe something that's like,
this console has never even had before.
- Whoa.
- Uh, sure, let's go mystery.
(Trapp laughing) - You go mystery,
and we will resolve that when it is our PIs' next turn.
But for now, we gotta have our villains go.
- Yeah. - So,
first things first, these gangsters
are gonna keep trying to shoot your dick off.
- Oh, haha, you've seen what happened the first time.
Back for round two, boys.
(Danielle laughing)
- So this is another 14.
Go ahead and give me your sturdy check.
(Siobhan chuckles)
- I don't think that's going to happen again.
- Well, we'll see, we'll see. - Oh, it seems unlikely.
- [Brennan] But it's pretty-
You've taken all of their fire from everything else.
(die rolling)
- It's one. - One!
- One. - [Danielle] Fuck!
- Okay, so- - Hold on, hold on.
I might be able to spend some Moxie?
No, no, no, no. I don't think so.
Two? Eh, eh?
Sturdy, I don't have sturdy.
All right, it's fine. It's fine.
- You turn around to see the revolution coming,
every kind of pleasure.
Who knew? You look at Conrad turning this key of conscience.
Who knew that doing the right thing could feel this good.
And as you turn your back, the gangsters unload.
(gunshots blasting)
- Oh, this was a mistake! (players laughing)
As they unload, (ball sliding on a track)
Don Avaricci steps right next to you.
(somber piano music)
Gun drawn, he says, we coulda had something great, Fucks.
And instead you had to go and get a big heart.
Shoulda kept it as big, old balls.
And he points his gun down,
and he's gonna roll a sharp check.
That is an eight plus four, which is going to be a 12.
Go ahead and give me a sturdy check.
(die rolling)
- Five. - Oof.
- Having sustained a heavy injury before...
- Have I?
- Well, you just got shot by a bunch of shots.
- [Trapp] You just got shot. - Oh yeah, I did, yes.
I have. I was shot many times.
(ball sliding on a track)
- [Hank] Now, that's kind of...
(ball clunks) - [Brennan] Hm?
- Oh, just feels like a little bit...
(players laughing)
- Oh, not, not... - Oh, great. (laughing)
- All of you watch the trains coming.
Conrad, you turn to look and you see Don Avaricci
(gun firing) fire. (grunts)
Dan, you fall to the floor. (mimics body falling heavily)
As you fall,
(gasps) you feel blood seeping out through your body.
You feel a little square in your coat,
a little piece of paper
that you can see is soaking up the blood
and you look down and see the words,
please reconsider.
- (sorrowfully) Dan!
- Dan, with what strength you have left,
is there anything you say in this moment.
- Conrad, you little shit, get over here!
(players laughing)
Oh, no, no, no. Hold on, hold on.
- Okay, okay, okay! - Wait, wait.
Wait, wait, no, no, no. They want you dead.
- Oh, okay, okay. - Stay hidden!
And that's the, I revise my previous statement!
Stay hidden. (death gurgles)
- You watch Dan Fucks
actually give you a piece of advice to protect you.
Tells you to stay. (players laughing)
Tells you to stay hidden as you (gasps)
feel your last gasps
as all of you watch with horror
as Dan falls to the ground, blood pooling.
Madam Loathing whips around with the key
and is gonna go for The Fix.
She's gonna roll,
and this is gonna be a sturdy check from you.
She's gonna roll in front of the board.
She adds plus four to this.
(gasps) She only rolls a four. That's an eight.
- I mean, there's every...
(clears throat) Anyway.
11!
- [Brennan] 11! - 12!
[Hank, Freddie, and Brennan] 12!
- She comes at you with a key and says,
do what you were meant to do, Fix, serve!
And, rah! The key goes right for your chest.
You, whoom, zip out of the way
with this copper pipe in front of you.
With that, Ivana goes to leap in front of Stacy,
towards the booth there.
You hear shouting up from the bell tower
as it sounds like Lance is just firing at gangsters
down in the street that are trying to join their boss.
You hear the sound of the people behind you
rushing up from the train station.
And with that, Justin is gonna actually leap
at Madam Loathing as well. (tense combat music)
Justin's gonna roll.
He gets a six. - Good boy, Justin!
- She's gonna roll her sturdy.
(die rolling)
She gets a 12 which explodes.
Three. - [Trapp] Stop it.
- She (grunts) swats the dog away,
and Justin hits the ground (pained wailing)
and skids off a little bit.
She turns around, all of you, why are you doing this?
Don't you understand? We're a miserable wretch!
Toiling away, unloved, unworthy.
Don't you understand that all of our misery
comes from who we actually are.
This is our key out of being this person.
This gleaming white key glows in front of you.
Dan bleeds on the floor.
Madam Loathing rears up to this enormous height.
It is once again all of your turns.
- Thanks for catching all those bullets.
(players laughing)
- Everyone's just like, busy reloading right now.
- Do we resolve the mystery key first
or do we take our turns first?
- I'm gonna ask us to go in reverse order of our sneak dice.
Who has the lowest sneak dice here?
- I'm four. - D4.
So Fix, you're gonna be first to act here.
- I'm in combat with Loathing so I-
- [Brennan] Yeah. - I feel like
I'm not thinking, not talking, just fighting.
- Hell yeah. Go ahead, give me...
I'll tell the roll you need to beat for her.
She rolls a three on sturdy.
- Mm! - Okay.
- [Brennan] But it's snap decision so you gotta...
(die rolling)
- Well, I rolled a four. (players laughing)
- So you, crack! (metal clangs)
She takes another light injury. She stumbles away.
And I will say here, on this light injury
you can leave the injury or you can translate the injury
into potentially disarming her if you would like to.
- [Hank] Of the key. - Of the key, yes.
- Hm.
I would like to get that key.
- Fix, you kick off, bam, hit her long, clawed hand.
Clang, the white key flies up
and you snatch it out of the air.
- How far away from the switchboard am I?
- She was right over it so you're like,
right next to it, essentially.
- Okay. - You grab the white key.
Holding it in your hand, you feel its reverberation.
- Do I have the action enough to all in one motion
(epic movement mouth sounds)
- If you were to put this into the switchboard,
(fast tense music)
it would...
- [Trapp] Take over Elias'- - Take over.
It would take over, but maybe you would be able to
run this mind,
eliminate all distraction forever.
(Danielle gasps)
(Siobhan making concerned sounds) - A mind of perfect
focus, undivided attention,
endless fixation only on the objects of your interest.
- He thinks about that for a second.
For a fraction of a second. There aren't very many seconds.
Hm, that's not my job.
- Incredible. You hold the key.
Loathing screeches and-
(Hank swallows) (Brennan laughing)
- [Danielle] No!
- He does eat a lot of weird stuff. He did say that.
- You swallow it and feel it deposit right in your craw.
(players laughing)
- [Trapp] Craw. - [Danielle] Craw.
- [Trapp] Bird facts. - [Brennan] Bird facts.
- I didn't know people had those.
(players laughing)
- [Brennan] Incredible, anyone have a d8 sneak?
- I have a d8 sneak.
- Hunch, that's gonna be you. You're riding the train up.
You get to the steps.
You see there's Don Avaricci with a gun,
still some gangsters, the ones that just shot Dan,
and then Madam Self Loathing who's partially injured
but still in combat with The Fix.
- Can I do a snoop check to see
if there's any fun goodies on the train I'm riding?
(Freddie laughing) - Ooh!
- I'm looking for maybe adrenaline to speed up my friends.
I'm looking for maybe some cold steaks to help Dan.
I'm looking for... (Freddie laughing)
I'm looking for any, like, (Hank squelches steaks)
I don't know what's on these trains,
but let's see what's gonna be in there.
- Give me a snoop check. We'll call it snoop six.
- Okay.
(tense music)
That is a 12. - Hell yes.
You see there's a bunch of adrenaline.
If you wanna just grab this adrenaline and take off with it,
absolutely, you can do that.
- Okay, can I have grab the adrenaline
and just stick it in my own thigh and just, and I'm, and-
- Yeah, give me a sturdy check
to see how much adrenaline you can metabolize.
(players laughing)
- That is a three. (Brennan laughing)
- Shit.
- That is a three. Okay, great.
So I'm gonna say that on a three you feel yourself
(feral goblin noises)
start to bug out, but I'll say the way we'll resolve this is
rather than you like, hulking out and becoming,
you know, like getting a d20 sharp check,
I think that failure means that your system
begins to become overwhelmed.
(Trapp laughing)
And we're just gonna go ahead and start to...
(Trapp laughing)
Hold on one second. - [Danielle] Oh, damn.
- Here we go. Hold on.
(balls clunking, some going off the rails)
- [Hank] Oh god, they couldn't handle it.
- [Brennan] Couldn't handle.
Yeah, the one that fell in the cracks, that one,
that one's gone. - That's gone. It's too much.
- [Brennan] Too much
- [Brennan] So you're like (feral goblin noises)
just start to be filled with Moxie.
- Sure. - [Brennan] Incredible.
And you can charge up the steps.
- Great.
- As you charge up, we're gonna move on.
Who has a d10 sneak?
Right here? Cool.
What is Imelda gonna do? - My god.
Well, I'm standing here still like this, but-
- And you've got these four gangsters
that are just big fans of yours.
- And I got these four gangsters.
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna say to them,
you don't wanna work for this guy, right?
You could work for one of the top dogs in the city.
- Give me- - If you just take him out.
- Give me a slick. Give me slick nine.
- [Trapp] We know they're greedy.
- That's a 25. (Brennan laughing)
No, a 23. - [Freddie] Nice!
- 100% of them say, hey, you're right!
Let's kill our old buddies!
And turn around (quick gun fire blasting)
and just open fire on the other gangsters.
One of them says, should we talk about payment now?
And they say, no, no, no, gauche. Talk about it later.
(players laughing)
- And then I wanna yell up,
to my f- to my fiance, (Brennan laughing)
uh, hey, H. V.
- What's that? - Just so you know,
I'm gonna need this to be an open relationship.
I am a woman that can't be tamed.
- You see he says, well, (laughing) the joke's on you.
My kink is being incredibly suspicious of my partner!
(players laughing)
- You're perfect! - You're perfect!
- Get down here and help this man up!
And I'm gonna get him to come and try and help heal Dan.
- Okay, so H. V. starts to run down.
I'm gonna make, go ahead and give me a d20 fight check
for your gangsters versus a d20 from the other gangsters.
- [Siobhan] Oh, great.
- They got a nat 20!
- I got a nat five!
- Okay, so they start opening fire.
(mimics gunshots) The other guys dive for cover.
That's really their sturdy check, essentially.
You see H. V. says, I'm coming down.
Oh, we got another one incoming, though.
You see the doors open. (retro-futuristic music)
And I'm gonna say, Hunch,
you do find some cold, you do find some cold steaks.
- Oh, great. - On that train as well.
As you rush up to Dan's side, you see another figure
burst in through the door rushing into Oblongata Station
running to Dan on the ground, sliding in.
(skidding)
A man slides in next to you as you have the steaks,
grabs Dan's hand as you begin
to put them on the bullet wounds.
And Dan, in your last moments you see a face swim into focus
and go, I told you you'd never see me again.
(Freddie and Trapp laughing)
Takes your hand. (spits repeatedly)
(players laughing)
And starts to spit in your hand.
And I'm gonna say, give me one more sturdy check.
- Sure. - [Brennan] Difficulty of,
difficulty 10 for Dan.
- Great, I've been doing so bad at these sturdy checks,
but let's see if this does any better.
That's a three, but I have so much Mo-
Is it still four to one?
For sturdy, unfortunately yes, it's still four to one.
- Let's see what we got. I need to get seven?
I don't think I have 20 of 'em.
- [Freddie] Wait, can I give you?
Wait, wait, wait, I can give you sage motivator.
The pep talk I gave you in this very moment.
- I can create four Moxie for you. Would that help?
- I can give a plus one.
- No, I need like, 10 more Moxie maybe.
- So I'll say, so you lean down.
This guy starts spitting into your hand. (spitting)
You see he holds your hand
as the steaks are put on your body and he leans in.
He goes, Dan, stay with us.
The city needs you.
You're our emergency mayor. (Freddie and Hank laughing)
Stay with me, buddy.
You feel you have some weak ability to respond to him.
- Mm, I have no regrets. I die with no regrets.
A life well lived. A life well lived.
- I pour the room-temperature vodka over his wounds.
- [Freddie] Ow, ow, ow, ow! - Just doctoring.
- Very stinging. Ow! - It's good for ya!
(players laughing)
I slap him across the face (rhythmic slapping)
a couple times.
- You see the guy says, don't slap him. That's my son.
(players laughing from shock)
- We're gonna get you back home.
You and me and Donna all together for Christmas again.
(Freddie laughing at his new papa)
- I would like that. I'd like that very much.
- We move from there to Anastasia.
- How far away is Self Loathing from Anastasia?
- Madam Loathing is not far away from you,
and the mist is partially cleared
from the trains approaching and everything else like that.
You see her sort of locked in combat with The Fix
who's just smacked the key out of her hand
and grabbed it away from her.
So she's lost the ability to turn people.
- Okay, and so she's fighting with The Fix.
They're kind of close-up fighting?
- Yes. - Okay. Mr. Fix, Mr. Fix!
- Yes'm, yes'm.
- And then Anastasia pulls out her gun. Duck!
(Brennan laughing)
Anastasia shoots Madam Loathing.
- Hell yeah, she's gonna make a sneak to try and dodge it,
but go ahead and give me a sharp check.
- I really thought she was yelling a different D word.
(players laughing)
- She gets a three on her sneak.
- Yeah, she's not good at sneaking.
- Okay, come on, baby, come on, baby.
(quietly) Fuck you. (Hank groans)
I got a two.
- You're gonna fire. Bang! (shouts)
Slides out of the way, however you sense those bullets
would probably be, that would be quite...
- Good.
- [Brennan] Quite good to hit her with those bullets.
- That was a sneak? (ball clunks)
- [Brennan] That was a sneak, yes.
- Okay.
- Conrad, you've turned the key in conscience.
You see the big guy finishing, literally looking down
at his unconscious boss on the ground.
You turn your key in a mysterious direction.
Sneak, snoop, sharp, savvy, sturdy, slick.
But perhaps there is (slow tranquil music)
a stat beyond these.
A stat of the spirit or of the soul.
(Siobhan gasps)
A stat of pure Moxie itself which conscience alone unlocks.
Conrad, turning your key,
you feel a power surge through.
The big guy is looking down at his unconscious boss
splayed out in the middle of the hallway,
has all of these schematics,
has fight and flight at either side of you.
You stand now at the console with this new stat which,
as Kids on Bikes, every stat is assigned a different die.
The only die we have left to assign is the d100
which is the stat we will assign here.
However, there's also chaos behind you.
Don Avaricci stands over Hunch and Dan Fucks
with his gun drawn.
Gangsters fire at each other,
some of them completely loyal now to Imelda Pulse,
others still to Don Avaricci.
And Self Loathing stands in combat with
The Fix and Anastasia Tension.
You and Justin, side by side, what is Conrad going to do?
- Conrad looks to Madam Loathing.
- [Brennan] Mm-hm.
- She's sustained two light injuries right now?
- Yes, I believe that is correct. Yes, absolutely.
- If you're counting the one from...
- Yeah, from before, which I am, yeah.
- Okay, then he calls for her attention.
(Brennan snarls)
Madam Loathing, Madam Self Loathing,
(slow piano music)
I know that the more focus we give to you,
the stronger you get so I'll make this short.
You...
are seen, and I accept you.
I can't focus on you right now, but I do need your help.
You serve a purpose.
You've protected a lot of children
even though you don't like them.
So if you can find it within you,
can you please help us with the big guy right now?
- She is going to roll a sturdy to resist this.
(die rolling)
She rolls an 11.
Could you kindly roll a d100 for me,
and this will be the funniest moment in the world
if you roll under it. (laughing)
- An 11? - [Brennan] An 11.
- 57, my favorite number.
(players laughing)
It's true. It's the number of Heinz varieties.
(group laughing)
(group still laughing)
- You... (laughing)
(players laughing again)
I mean, there's no coming back from that.
There's just no coming back from that.
Madam Loathing looks at you. (inhales sharply)
And as you say you are needed,
you see that this
giant shadowy figure...
diminishes in size
(harsh wind echoes)
away from Self Loathing.
And as you have altered the focus.
In a weird sense, Conrad's view of
all of Mentopolis,
of saving treasures that shouldn't be thrown away,
of thinking about the things that the big guy
kind of owes to other people and the world,
Conrad's view has always kind of moved out
to think of bigger things and other people,
to think of larger places.
And in moving away, sometimes the things that up close
are huge and horrifying get just a little bit smaller,
a little bit more right-sized,
a little bit easier to manage.
And you watch Self Loathing diminish
and become that old woman again,
a little bit less monstrous
and she looks and says,
you think...
You think Elias Hodge needs me?
- I think he needs every part of himself,
and you're a part of him.
So am I.
I'm glad to know you.
- She looks out.
And you recognize that all of these concepts that you are,
some are far away and some are close,
some related and some not.
What is the border of attention and curiosity
or of pleasure and impulse?
Where do these things begin and end?
Like a city, they all stand taller
because they are interconnected.
And maybe Madam Loathing
changes in this moment a little bit
or maybe instead of saying that she changes
she just realizes how close she is to some other things.
She steps forward and in a weird way,
you remember the times that you were with her
and some nicknames
that friends referred to her by sometimes.
Shame, guilt.
You see that she looks at you,
(tense music)
steps forward towards the control.
Fight or Flight, kind of react for a moment.
Does anyone here attempt to stop Madam Loathing
from approaching this control panel
that Conrad has invited her to.
- Trust Conrad.
- [Brennan] She steps-
- Always let your Conrad be your guide.
(players laughing)
- She steps forward, looks at you
and a single tear escapes her eye.
She takes the microphone and says,
now listen to me, you little piece of shit.
You invented a mind control ray.
Absolutely inexcusable!
(players laughing)
You have fucked up, Elias Hodge!
And you have one chance at redeeming your miserable life.
Thank goodness your conscience... came back.
Now, you get those papers,
you step over your unconscious boss,
and you listen to Fight or Flight or so help me
everything they do to you, you will well and truly deserve!
Run! (Moxie ball clunks)
(players laughing)
- There was a Moxie stuck in Danielle's thing.
- Yo, yo! - [Trapp] You saying run released it.
(players laughing)
- And you see like, literally the bullet time stops.
You're watching in real time,
Elias (pwoo) sprints for the staircase
and begins to run as fast as possible
as Madam Loathing in front of you
with this new key in this switchboard
appears to be seen from a different angle.
Loathing is a strong word,
but Frank Freeze masqueraded as Leon Logic
and there's someone running around named Stacy Fakename.
(players laughing)
So you see Madam Loathing go,
I might consider a change of name, I think.
- I'll leave that up to you.
Also, very scary, very motivating.
(players laughing)
- I think we could work very well together, you and I.
- (nervously) Okay. (players laughing)
- Whatever you want.
- That seems right. - (laughing) Seems right.
You see conscience and self-loathing,
and I will say at this moment as Self Loathing says that,
on that 57 spirit, we see Wilton
and all these various couriers in play going,
I'm coming, Mr. Fucks!
And you see sliding in next to Dan Fucks
with a 14 on the die sturdy check,
you see the face of Officer Joie de Vivre.
(players laughing)
Goes, (grunts) and he goes, (laughs jovially)
I was a rebel spy in the police.
(players laughing)
Vive la révolution.
(players laughing)
And Dan, you come back in this moment. You come to.
- (gasps to life) My money! Where's my money?
I was rich! I remember this!
Oh, hello everybody.
- I smack him around again. (slap) (Freddie grunts)
Come to, Dan,
Dan Fucks! Wake u- (repeated slapping)
Come to your senses, god! (repeated slapping)
- As you do all of that, Dan, you come to.
So Fight, Flight, Conrad, Justin, and Madam Loathing
are all at the console together
as Elias is sprinting down the hallway.
There are still sort of these fleet of gangsters here.
Avaricci looks at all of you and says, I don't think so.
This is not how we're gonna go out, running outta here.
You see he says, Loathing, you're gonna listen to a kid?
We could be rich! Don't you remember?
So you're holding the key.
He is going to go and make a strike for you.
I'm gonna need a 10 sturdy from The Fix.
(tense music)
- I can do it if I spend four Moxie.
- You spend the four to survive.
He fires at you (gun firing)
and you just tank the shot (gun piercing flesh)
into one of your massive arms. - That's what they're for.
- You tank that shot, and the gangsters
are now going to open fire as well.
And I think they're still going for The Fix
'cause you've got the white key.
(gravely) That is an 18 on their check.
- That's a eight.
- You sustain a heavy injury.
(ball sliding on a track)
You watch as The Fix (mimics shots landing)
gets peppered with bullets from these gangsters
and Avaricci says, take 'em all down,
every one of these concepts!
Who needs 'em? Highfalutin...
We should have only ever been me.
That's going to be all of your turn now.
I'll let you guys go in whatever order you want.
- I wanna attack Avaricci.
I assume I'm still on top of the train.
I've pumped some adrenaline into my system.
- Yes.
- I don't know where he is in the space, but-
- Yeah, we don't have any bonuses to sturdy or sharp.
- No, Ivana goes in, puts her key in
and switches it to fight. - [Trapp] Great.
- Okay, yes, that's it.
- And I'm just gonna full-on like, dive off of the train
and like, on top of Avaricci if he's within diving distance.
- Hell yes. Avaricci has sustained no injuries thus far.
He's gonna roll sturdy.
That's an 11 on sturdy. Go ahead and roll sharp.
- That is a four, but sharp is,
we get a- - Yeah.
- [Trapp] We get a bonus on that?
- [Brennan] Now you get the bonus on sharp.
- All right, time to cash in some of this Moxie.
- [Hank] Yeah! - So that's four, eight,
12. (Moxie balls clunk)
And fuck it, I got a ton. - [Siobhan] Yeah.
- How much do I have to beat him for a heavy injury?
- You have to beat him by five.
- All right, 16.
- [Brennan] 16 is beating him by five.
You got an 11. - Okay. (yells)
- You all watch Hunch Curio
fucking from the top row, bam, elbow, boom!
Avaricci stumbles backward, blood running down his face.
Boom, that's Hunch. Who else wants to go?
- I need to go. - Go.
- I look at Avaricci and I say,
sir, (tense music)
I've not disliked working for you some days,
but what I have discovered is that I get to work
for who I want to work for.
And I'd like you to know
that there's little creatures in the sea
that make little lights,
and they're quite pretty little lights.
You can ask Officer Joie de Vivre.
He's tell you he likes 'em.
- (chuckles) And it's c'est magnifique.
(players laughing)
- And it's a little strange that those little critters
would make those lights, 'cause why would they?
They only make 'em when they get disturbed,
and I think that that would cause attention
from little fishes that wanna eat 'em.
But here's what happens.
Those little fishes, when they suck 'em up,
they glow so bright that now that little fish is glowing.
Has a little target on its back.
'Cause that little fish ain't the only fish in the sea.
- (chuckles) Shit!
- Go ahead and make a menacing,
make any kind of check you want.
Make whatever check you wanna make.
(players laughing)
- Oh my god! (laughing) I rolled a one.
- [Brennan] Oh no!
- But I got plus two. - [Brennan] you got plus two.
- So that's three.
- So he's gonna make his sturdy check here. You got a three.
- How about I, well, I mean, look,
I don't wanna actually menace him.
- Okay.
- I just, after I said that, I punch him.
- [Brennan] You punch him.
- But which is the same check for me.
- [Brennan] Yes. - So I still rolled a one.
- So he's gonna roll his sturdy.
He rolled a three! - Oh...
- [Brennan] Unbelievable! - Oh!
- What the? My god!
- He rolled a three! Incredible, you rolled-
- Just flicking him in the forehead.
- You roll a three, and then yeah,
he already has sustained a heavy injury.
So Fix, you go, cock back.
He goes, wow, that's really interesting.
(grunts) (slow-mo punch landing)
Teeth, boom, pow! Out.
- I'm still on his back. (screams)
(players laughing)
- And he is out like a light.
Avaricci is unconscious on the ground in front of you.
There are still a group of gangsters here,
and Elias is still running.
Does anyone else...
- Oh, I think to the group of gangsters I'll stand up
and is like, I returned like Lazarus from the dead!
Wouldn't you rather work for an immortal man such as myself?
- [Brennan] Give me a slick check.
- Immortal emergency mayor.
- [Brennan] We'll call it slick eight.
- 13 plus whatever. Yeah, 13.
- The gangsters go, all right, given that the Don
has been knocked unconscious and that also a bunch of us
now work for the Pulse Family,
we feel it germane and prudent
(players laughing)
to foreswear our previous oaths of loyalty to-
- I shout, don't forget he's the mayor now!
- [Brennan] Oh! (players laughing)
- Hey, Mr. Mayor, do you need a campaign committee?
(players laughing)
- It's an unpaid internship. You'll work many hours!
- Ah, dang! (players laughing)
Incredible. You see they all begin to move over to you.
Also, as Elias is running,
anyone here give me a snoop check.
- I'll do it. - Yeah.
We'll call it a DC eight snoop check.
- Oh, I got it.
- And exploded it and I got a...
- [Freddie] (quietly) 13.
13, thank you for math.
(Hank laughing)
- Can I use my nerves of steel on this?
- [Brennan] Yes, you can. - May I borrow a Moxie?
- I guess I could spare one. - Thank you.
(players laughing)
All right, so what was that? What was the DC on that?
- [Brennan] Eight. - Okay, I halve it.
- Hell yes. You halve it.
For Anastasia and Imelda,
as you watch Dan yell with other gangsters,
you see a little thing blinking not from the oculus
but on the switchboard itself
because it's direct through the limbic system.
Smell actually bypasses other sensory stuff
and can go right straight
to the center of the brain on its own.
As Elias is running, you smell birthday cake.
(Siobhan gasps) - [Trapp] Oh no.
- We gotta put our finger in it!
- [Freddie] Put his finger in it.
(players laughing)
- I thought we've been through this.
(players laughing)
- So Elias is running, but you do smell a birthday cake.
- Come on! - [Danielle] I know.
- It'll be just like old times.
- I'm not sticking my finger in another cake.
- Come on!
- That's what happened last time.
- Oh, you coward. I run to the mic.
- You run through. Great, you run to the mic, yeah.
- No, no, no, no, no.
- That was great. Go ahead and give me slick.
We'll call it slick eight.
(little bursting sound) - That's, I crit.
- [Brennan] You crit? (laughing) Go ahead and roll again.
- I got a 19. - You got 39?!`
- And then add your whatevers.
- And then a plus five. - [Alex] Oh no!
- So we fully... (laughing) (players laughing)
We, we...
- I thought there was gonna be a special animation for it.
- We, we... (players laughing)
We fully cut from here.
I just, for the first time in this entire season,
we fully cut to Gobstopper Industries,
and there are bunch of people in a break room going...
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday dear ♪
- Bam, (punch connecting)
and you see all of them watch as Elias Hodge runs in,
decks somebody, grabs the cake.
Not a party he's invited to. Not his birthday.
And they go, Jesus, Hodge! What's going on?
- And he says, this company's evil! Don't you get it?
It's absolutely evil! I jumped out a window and shit myself!
(players laughing)
Mr. Henry's as good as dead, I think.
I don't know. I didn't check.
This is my cake now! (slurps) Fuck all of you!
And sprints out of the room and that is...
And with that we return to Oblongata Station.
Any other actions?
- Uh, yeah. Yeah, I do. (Siobhan laughing)
Over by the controls, has Elias
er have we, has Elias decided what he's gonna do
with the documents yet.
- He has not. - Okay.
So I am going to pick up the mic.
(microphone feedback rings)
Mr. Hodge. Hi, Mr. Hodge.
Hi, it's me, attention. Oh, you know me.
Hi, so I had a great idea
about what you could do with those documents.
Have you thought about taking them to the local newspaper?
- (claps) Yes!
Go ahead, this is literally a slick three.
(Siobhan chuckles)
- Do the thing. Do the thing where I win.
(eventful music)
Four.
- Ah! - [Siobhan] Ooh.
(players laughing)
- You hear coming over that speaker,
you can actually hear Elias reverberating through this new,
like, key of conscience.
You hear a thing like, yeah, take it to the newspaper.
And you see you can see stairs, like sprinting downstairs.
Take it to the newspaper. I'll let 'em know.
This is proof. I have all the proof I need.
These are all official Gobstopper documents,
(proud) and I'll be a hero.
People will celebrate my name.
(excited) I'll be a rogue whistleblower!
And you just see so much (train whistle blowing)
coming off the trains. (players laughing)
And just Wilton saying, oh, this is better than cumming!
(players laughing) (train whistle blowing)
It's like cumming from the soul!
- It's souljaculation.
(Brennan laughing)
- And you see that he sprints down the steps.
And Conrad, if there's anything else that you wanna do
that would be our last turn of this combat.
You see him sprinting down the street.
Give me one last, actually give me one-
give me snoop four.
(die rolling)
- Five. (Brennan gasps)
- He makes it to the pavement
with illegal mind control documents
and a stolen birthday cake in his hands.
And he bumps into someone on the sidewalk.
And you see a beautiful person you recognize
from a coffee shop, look up.
Oh, so sorry. I, uh-
And you see there is a moment where he's just met
this person in front of him that he has not seen
since he stopped in that coffee shop so long ago
and had that moment where someone was kind to him.
That's what you see on your snoop check.
- Ms. Tension, could I borrow the mic real quick?
I speak into the mic. - There you go.
- [Brennan] Mm-hm.
- Uh, hey, big guy.
Um, it's a weird time, but,
just ask for her number.
(players laughing)
- We cut back to the outside world.
(players laughing) - Give her some cake.
- You see Elias go, hi, I'm so sorry. I'm in a huge hurry.
I think people might be after me. That sounds paranoid.
But the... (players laughing)
But the important thing is this.
I should of said something before, but I was doubting myself
and I felt bad about the dan-
But you know, all that stuff.
And I think here, Hunch, you notice the book in your hands.
And a little breeze blows through
from that mist and the steam coming out.
And you see as Elias is talking he goes,
you know, I've felt self-conscious.
I think I've felt self-conscious a long time.
Stuff happened. (sweet piano music)
You know, a long time ago
this ice skating rink thing happened,
and it's just been on my mind sort of ever since.
- I grab the mic and say,
ask her to go ice skating with you.
- Do you wanna go ice skating with me?
And in this moment, Hunch, you look down
and you see this memory of this ice skating thing.
And it's true, young Elias did stand up
for his little sister
and he did get hit with that ice skate.
He got that scar on his head. (piano music)
And you know, it's so awful because his sister...
And then you start to see, this book is dog-eared.
It's been taken out of the library a lot of times.
- People've added a lot of fun stuff to this.
(players laughing)
- And he looks back and you realize his memory altered
over and over 'cause he remembers people laughing,
but suddenly he remembers
his sister ran away not embarrassed.
There's something he forgot
or was part of that memory so long ago.
She ran away to yell at people to stop laughing at him.
I think I owe my sister a call.
I think I owe her a call. We should catch up.
But that's not here or there. I, I, uh...
You see he says-
- I'm a totally normal guy. - He says,
I'm a totally normal guy! (players laughing)
He says, look, I'm a totally normal guy,
but here, let's get...
I- I- I'd love to take you out ice skating sometime.
You see she goes, I'd love that. Hands her number.
And he says, that's great. Do you want a birthday cake?
And you see she just goes,
(confidently confused) no. (players laughing)
And you see there's a tap on the big guy's shoulder
and he wheels around and you see there's someone saying,
Mister, get away, you can't be out here.
This sidewalk's covered in broken glass and human shit!
(players laughing)
- And, (players laugh some more)
- [Brennan] You're standing in the middle-
- I grab the mic and I say, ignore him.
Get the number and get to the newspaper.
Get the number- - Yes, I'm with Fix
on this one. - And get to the newspaper.
Think ahead a little bit.
- You hand the mic.
You see she hands her number and he says...
You see he stuffs it in the top of the cake
and just like, puts the little card there.
He says, thank you. I'll give you a call real soon.
And you hear clomping and you see
in the lobby behind you, there he is!
And you see he puts up a hand
and he steps out into the street and hails a cab.
(rain pouring) And as he hails the cab,
(door slams) you see,
(Siobhan gasps) (car driving)
speeds away as shouts fade behind him,
(slow noir music)
having stolen the documents, (car driving ambience)
acted on his conscience,
potentially saved the world from a terrible danger
and gotten the number of someone
that could truly make him happy
as well as most of a birthday cake.
(players laughing)
And as he speeds away, he breathes,
and that brain floods as prohibition ends.
He gets to well and truly feel good about himself.
And as he does, the pressure fades,
(the pressure finally releases, for good)
and I turn the story back to all of you.
(heartbeat steadies to normal)
What becomes of the story of the big guy
in the days following the events of this wild night
in the city of Mentopolis?
- He makes it to the newspaper and he says,
hey, I need, uh, sanctuary, sanctuary.
And they're like, this isn't Notre Dame.
And he's like, I just like, a whistleblower.
I blow whistles. And they're like, okay, I gotcha.
So then he goes in, he gives them the download
on everything that's happened
and the newspaper calls the police
because they've got all the evidence right there,
and the cops come in and they place him
under protective custody since he's been, like, you know,
folks have been trying to like, kill him and chase him.
So he's chilling right now in protective custody
in a hotel where he...
has bought himself some better shampoo
so he can get rid of the dandruff
because eventually he's gonna come out
and he's gonna go on that ice skating date.
Also, he needs to go out
and buy himself a pair of ice skates because his feet
are bigger than they were when he was a kid.
(Freddie laughing) - Incredible.
The newspaper, all this huge scandal
and terrible ramifications for Gobstopper Industries
and with all the people involved
with this scandalous mind control ray technology.
And afterwards you've all had such a crazy long night.
You go by Nostalgia's Diner
to sort of put the pieces together
after all of that.
The diner is filled with like, Ivana and Stacy
and even Frank Freeze comes by, Justin's in there
and H. V. Lance and the hand spit guy, Wilton.
(players laughing)
- Did Pasha come by? - Aw.
- I think the door opens and Pasha does come by.
- That's nice. (players laughing)
- She looks around. Um, hi.
Um, sorry to, um, bother you but, (chuckles awkwardly)
it's very nice to see you again.
Did you know that diners, the history of diners
actually originate from dining cars on trains,
and the very first diners were actually
dining cars of trains
that had been taken out of service
and were used stationarily as restaurants
'cause they were cheap and affordable.
- Fix just looks at her.
He can't think of any facts. (Brennan laughing)
- [Alex] Aw! (laughing) (Freddie clapping)
Oh! - Hunch is in the booth,
and he's adding his fun addition to the memory.
And in the memory now Elias is like,
eight feet tall and ripped.
(players laughing)
And he's just like, it's like, yeah, a real...
It's like in that way like, when you're telling a story
of an encounter and you're like,
and I fucking told him this.
It's just like a much bigger version of himself in there.
And he turns to the rest of the group and goes,
I still think there's just one more loose end.
And I want to use all my Moxie
(Freddie and Hank laughing)
and do a snoop check and see if I can find any leads
that can lead me towards Foot Stuff.
(players laughing)
- [Brennan] Give me snoop. (Trapp and Siobhan laughing)
We'll call it difficulty 10. - Okay.
(die rolling)
(little bursting sound) That's a, I crit.
(players laughing) It explodes.
That's 12 plus... (die rolling)
Two is 14, 15
plus another 12.
(players laughing)
- [Hank] Be really sure on this one.
- For a 27, right?
- Okay. (players laughing)
I'll say this, the ice skating date goes really well.
(players laughing)
(players groaning) And all...
- Ugh, the ice skates.
- Ice skates, ugh!
- They're the best for foot stuff.
(players laughing)
- It's extra sweaty. - On the night of that date
you're like, out on a corner under a street lamp
taking your cigarette and you look out
and see a 40-foot sasquatch just go (growls)
(players laughing)
And take it's- - Another case closed.
- And see that sasquatch takes its very big feet
and wanders away down the street.
Unbelievable.
Elias does this very heroic thing,
and his life is going well.
What happens of our Prefrontal PIs within Mentopolis?
- So I feel like, I think we cut
to the front of Sugah's now.
I've spent my wealthy on really, you know,
decking out the place.
It's like, lights, neon.
The lights are animated and everything.
And I think I'm here showing Conrad around,
if that's all right.
Would you like to join this scene?
- I would love to.
- Conrad, you little shit! (players laughing)
- H-hey, I'm a little bit taller now.
(group laughing)
- [Trapp] Medium-sized shit.
- You medium-sized rapscallion!
I may have judged you harshly. (jazzy lounge music)
I'd like to show you around.
I know you've been scrabbling around in the streets here.
Well, I have a little bit of scratch left over
when I was doing the renovations to my club, you see.
Here, follow me. I have something to show you.
And so he busts into the door. The place is decked out.
It's full of people dancing around.
The floors are gleaming. Everything's new.
All the new countertops, new seats, everything.
I say, ah, it's all through here, though. Here, follow me.
And we go through the back and we snake through the kitchen.
It's like the scene in Goodfellas.
It's a busy kitchen. (busy kitchen ambience)
Over here, and I push on the door into the back alleyway.
This is your alley now!
I put a little overhanging eve for you.
I know you like sleeping on the street,
the little rapscallion that you are,
but I think we could perhaps be, mm, partners.
Of course, the rent is due on the first of every month.
- (in awe) Wow. - And you will take a 30,
I will take a 30-70.
I will be the 70, you'll be the 30 on the cut
in terms of all the new business
that you're bringing to my club.
- Wow, Mr. Fucks, the inside was so nice.
Thank you for this little bit of your outside.
(players laughing)
And you know what, I think with this new money,
I'm gonna buy myself a new jacket.
It's gonna be green.
(players laughing)
- [Brennan] Hell- - A strong sense of pleasure
slightly tempered by conscience sounds pretty fun.
(players laughing)
- Dan Fucks becomes the impresario
of this whole neighborhood of pleasures of theaters
and bars and all this incredible stuff.
Someone comes up to you, I think, at one point.
Hans Schadenfreude goes,
Mr. Fucks, you were mayor for a second there.
Did you not want to run for mayor?
- No, no, no, you see, public office,
front-facing public office is not the place for me.
I would rather control things behind the scenes, you see.
Ah, Hans, I'm glad that you are here.
Is my brother Wilton here? - You see-
- For revolution still foments in the hearts of the people!
- Oh yes, revolution. Very exciting.
I cannot wait for the wealthy elite to find out,
you know, the 1%.
When they fall I will enjoy it.
- Yes, yes, yes!
- And you see with Conrad living here,
you see Justin with you is wagging his tail. (pants)
And says, you're business partners with Dan Fucks now?
- Well, well, I don't really need the money,
but he's a good friend, and you?
- You see Justin looks over at you, Conrad,
and sort of goes over and sits in your lap,
Dan for a second and says,
I could think of a bunch of reasons
why it's good for us to get what we want.
(players laughing)
- You're my best friend.
(slobbery licking noises)
(players laughing)
Incredible, and for the rest of our Prefrontal PIs,
(stammering)
how does their stories end in Mentopolis?
- I think for Anastasia,
so she obviously writes this
huge exposé for the paper
about everything that has happened.
And so now because of all of her efforts,
her editor has promoted her
from about two or three column inches
in the lifestyle section on page like, five or six.
She is now on page two with about four
to five inches of room, but she's climbing her way on up.
And one night she goes out to
visit her friend, Mr. Fucks,
and her friend, Conrad.
And while she is sitting there
drinking her room-temperature vodka,
she is joined by a woman (sultry jazz music)
named Fawn.
- Ooh!
- And they begin to have a conversation
wherein Fawn spends most of her time
telling Anastasia how much she likes and appreciates her.
And of course Fawn's like,
what,
what can I do to make you as happy as you make me?
And Anastasia says, (sighs contentedly)
just keep paying attention to me.
- (laughing) Aw, oh, I love that.
- [Alex] Aw!
- And I think at the end of that,
Frank Freeze also has a conversation and says,
I read that piece in the paper, that's amazing.
Have you ever thought about running for public office?
- Hmm...
- That day in court was incredible.
(Freddie laughing)
You, I mean, you have to understand,
they arrested the DA in the courtroom
based on the proceedings of an unrelated trial.
(players laughing)
- Hmm, what would my slogan be?
- I hate to say it, but...
And you see he takes a little thing out
that just says, pay attention.
(Danielle and Hank laughing)
- Nice.
- Mr. Freeze, I think we've got a lot of work to do.
(freezes up from the pressure)
(players laughing)
- From there, for Hunch and Imelda and The Fix.
- Yeah, so I'm having, having
some fries still with Pasha.
And I'm like, you know, I'd like to go take you to a place
that I know pretty well.
And I head out going down to Madam Loathing's.
And I bring her along with me and we knock on the door,
soft as I can and it's still like
(pounds table aggressively)
(players laughing)
- Everybody's awake.
(players laughing)
- And Madam Loathing comes to the door, and I'm like,
I wanna talk to Madam Loathing,
but I'd like you to go on inside.
I think there might be somebody waiting in there for you.
(Danielle gasps)
And Pasha goes on in (tender music)
and inside there's a 22-year-old man
wearing full hockey pads.
He's got a helmet with like, a little half face shield,
but like a nice one.
And he's got his skates on.
(softly) And she just runs over and she's crying,
and I can't talk about it 'cause I'll cry too.
(Freddie laughing)
But while they're catching up,
'cause I don't need to be involved in that...
- I think you see, by the way,
as that helmet comes off of that hockey player
as he greets his long-lost sister,
you see as he says,
I'm sorry I was gone for so long.
I guess I was just lost thinking about the past
and thought I could never come back.
You see the waiter from Nostalgia's takes his mask off
who was Ichabod Ice Skates this whole time.
And he hugs his sister and she hugs him and weeps and says,
Fix, I'll never be able to thank you enough.
- And I say, well, after 20 years of marriage, I bet you'll,
you'll be mad at me for something.
- You see as you say that she says, 20 years of marriage?
Do you propose?
- (nervously) Oh, yeah, that was what that was.
(players laughing)
- You see she says, I do! Sweeps you up.
I think Madam Loathing comes out and says, what's this?
Some kind of proposal in this extremely sad building?
(players laughing)
- You know, honey, I'm...
Honey was a weird thing to call you, but whatever.
It's the '30s. (players laughing)
I don't think it is sad in here.
I heard that you might be thinking of a name change.
Did you know that the North Pole is actually a South Pole
because when you look at a compass, it points north.
But the north pole of the compass is what's pointing north,
and north poles point to the south poles.
So when we go to the North Pole,
it's actually the South Pole.
I think maybe you also aren't exactly
what you've been calling yourself.
- Smart enough for this?
- Everybody get their pens out.
- [Brennan] Yeah, starts writing that down.
- [Hank] North pole points to the South Pole. I'm confused.
- You see she looks at you and says,
that's a very fun fact about compasses.
- I have others. - I have one, too.
And she reaches around her neck and pulls a chain
like the ones that all these keys had been attached to
and pulls a compass out.
Says, I've had this for too long.
You should give this to Conrad. And hands a compass to you.
And she... (laughing)
And she says, I think I'd like to go
on a vacation for a while.
If you're looking, and she looks at you and Pasha,
who holds your hand and you see Ichabod
sort of smiling over in the corner.
If you're planning on getting married,
then you'll need to get a house.
And I have one that I've just decided to put on the market.
It's a little bit dingy, but with some love,
I think it might be a rather nice place,
although it comes with a large pack of children.
- These kids are pretty great.
They know all kinds of weird shit.
(players laughing)
- You see that as she says, call me Guilta.
(players laughing)
And she talks to you and Pasha.
She gets a deed for the house.
She's gonna go away for a long time
and figure out some shit she's gotta deal with.
And she gives you this moral compass.
(Hank swallows)
(players laughing)
- I'm sorry, that was just a reaction.
It happens sometimes when people give me things.
- I think, you know, and you guys
spend so many happy days fixing up the house.
When Chief Tightass dies,
the police department is abolished.
(players laughing)
All they've ever done is just shoot up places
and crash cars and fucking ruin investigations.
Everything should have just been Hunch the whole time.
(players laughing)
So she loses her job, but she gets a job
at her alma mater, FSU, Flow State University.
- [Alex] (laughing) Aw.
And you spend many happy days surrounded
by kids jumping up and down and pulling on your sleeves
saying, did you know, did you know, did you know?
(players laughing)
(cool closing music)
Imelda.
- Imelda elopes with hypervigilance.
Her parents are very hopeful that this means
that she'll finally settle down and live a quiet life.
That doesn't happen in any way, shape, or form.
She's at Sugah's every night.
But after a few months to years of this,
she's feeling a little bit empty inside
and she realizes that there's something missing.
And one day she goes up to a rickety old office
and knocks on the door.
And when it's opened,
she says to her good friend,
Chattanooga Choo Choo.
That's that song you couldn't remember.
- That was the song. (players laughing)
Yeah, for sure. Yes, that was it.
That is for sure, that was what. Another case closed.
- That's all for Dimension 20: Mentopolis.
(players laughing)
Thank you so much for watching,
and we'll see you next time here on Dimension 20.
Farewell! (players clapping)
Oh, to you. To all of you.
To all of you, to all of you, to all of you.
(crew members cheering) (players clapping)
(upbeat jazz music)
(Hank cheers)