- [Jujubee] Ladies, stealth check time!
- [Alaska] Don't I have some perception shit?
♪ Boss ass bitch ♪
- [Bob And Monét] Check your perception before you come for me.
(queens laughing)
- [Bob] Everyone think 20. - [Everyone] 20!
♪ Boss ass bitch ♪
- [Bob] I have anxiety!
- [Jujubee] See, I knew it was that bitch.
Can I go invisible right now?
- [Bob] Twyla, you are a loose cannon.
♪ Boss ass bitch ♪
- [Monét] Kill her. - Kill her now!
- I knew it! - Oh, fuck!
- [Monét] You are assaulting the man
with a no-knock warrant.
- [Bob] Troyánn is saucy.
♪ Boss ass bitch ♪
- Ladies- I wish I was alive!
(squeaky) I think we should get naked and see what happens.
(gravelly) Servants of the Fae Realm.
There is legend of a witch.
- [Jujubee] Hey, that was really emotional and beautiful.
♪ Boss ass ♪ - [Jujubee] Bitch!
(Monét laughs)
- Hello, one and all!
Welcome to the thrilling finale of
"Dimension 20: Dungeons and Drag Queens."
I'm your humble Dungeon Master, Brennan Lee Mulligan.
With me, for the very last time, our questing queens.
Say hi, questing queens.
- [Queens] Hi, questing queens.
- I don't want it to be our very last time.
- I know. - [Bob] I don't either.
- Last time, it's our last time this time.
- This time.
- But I do wanna get out of the Underworld.
(all laughing)
That I do want.
- It's not cute down here.
(Brennan laughs)
- I'm kinda comfortable.
- [Bob] Well your whole dark-sided family
hanging out down here.
- Well, enjoy everyone else, yep. (Brennan laughs)
- We see the throne room of Thanara,
goddess of the Underworld.
- Wow.
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music continues)
- Here she is, seated in her throne,
and by her side, Alacranos.
- Oh! - Oh!
- Her scorpion champion.
- [Bob] Honey, she got more legs
than a bucket of chicken.
He literally does have more legs than a bucket of chicken.
(all laughing)
As an arachnid, he literally has more legs
than a bucket of chicken. - [Monét] You know, honey.
That stinger is doing her right.
- [Bob] Henny. - [Jujubee] I think she's the top.
- [Bob] I'm not gonna lie,
the stinger looked bigger in the picture.
- [Jujubee] I think she's the top, yeah. - I'm not gonna lie,
his stinger looked bigger in the picture.
- Did it really?
- Not gonna lie, it did look bigger in the picture.
Look at this weapon, girl.
What is-
It's like a spear,
but then it has little pieces on the side.
That will hurt you.
- Thank you, Bob.
- Surrounding the throne, as well, are,
I'm afraid to say it, your assembled enemies.
- Oh god.
- [Brennan] We see Zaria Hex, the Blood Queen.
- [Jujubee] She looks fierce. - [Alaska] Scary!
- [Brennan] Very frightening.
- [Monét] Oh my gosh,
she's like the Scarlet Witch on crack.
- Let me see, can you put her close to my face?
Ooh! - [Monét] Kill her, kill her now!
- Yeah, bite her ear. - Wow, that's so cool.
- Who emerges from behind the throne.
- Honestly, whoever's working
in costume design here is eating.
- The art department is insane. - Oh the art department,
we must once again shout out Rick Perry,
the whole incredible art department.
Addie, Katie, Raven, Shane,
all the amazing artists we've had on this season.
- You would look good in that outfit, Alaska.
That would look real good.
- Can I borrow that, Zar?
(all laughing)
- [Brennan] Flying up by her side,
Morgan of the Glaring Sun.
- [Bob] Oh look at the spear on this one. - [Monét] Oh, wow!
Oh my god! - Skinty, honey.
- [Jujubee] Look at the wings.
- [Alaska] She's flying. - [Monét] That looks great.
- [Brennan] She's flying, it's true.
- [Bob] She's coming for me.
- She is coming for you, indeed.
We have Keena of Everdeep. - [Monét] Keena!
Exactly how I described her.
- [Brennan] Boom, there you go.
The green skin and the black hair.
- [Bob] And that's the hook? - [Brennan] And the chain with the-
- [Bob] Can I get a good look at, oh yeah, she-
- [Monét] That hook, honey. - This one's a mess.
- That's cool. - She's messy.
- An absolute mess, leaping down into the fray.
And then-
- Yeah let's see, let's see your uncle.
- Uncle Kerwyn.
- Oh shit.
- [Brennan] Now suited up for battle, here he is,
the Duke of the Foehammers.
- [Jujubee] Oh, I pictured him like Patrick Swayze.
- I guess he had time to get dressed too, didn't he?
(all laughing)
Had to stop by and grab a little something shiny, honey.
- Exactly.
- Shiny, kinda like my vagina.
- But, hey.
You're not here.
You're not here to see these enemies.
In fact, I think we're hoping
that these enemies are all met
with a swift defeat. - Oh ours?
So, it is with pride and joy
that I would love to hand to you, Twyla.
(Alaska squeals)
- She's so little. - Oh my god.
Look at her little butterfly wings, she's so cute!
- Oh my god. - Troyánn.
- Troyánn, look at her blue ass!
(Brennan laughs)
Troyánn looks so cute.
- [Bob] Oh, Troyánn! - [Alaska] Troyánn.
- [Bob] Got some jugs, honey. - [Jujubee] Twyla, wow.
- [Brennan] Incredible. - [Alaska] So pretty.
- [Monét] Look at Twyla.
Twyla better be in a flying bevel.
You better work, girl.
Passé, right?
- Tendu, fondue.
- Gertrude.
- [Bob] Yeah, that's her!
- Let me see Gertrude.
- So sweet and anxious, oh Gertrude.
- Oh my gosh, look at your horns.
- Oh my god, and the hair actually looks like my hair today.
(Brennan laughs)
- [Bob] She better werk, oh my gosh.
- [Jujubee] That dress is a tea length.
- [Bob] Look at that! - [Jujubee] This is cool.
- [Alaska] Look at huh. - [Monét] Thank you.
- [Alaska] She's fierce.
- Oh yes, oh wait look at her, wait,
what is this in your hand?
Is this your orb of magic? - [Brennan] It's a spell.
- [Bob] It's magic. - [Brennan] Yeah, it's magic.
- Oh my god look at, yeah, you look great.
- She's hot. - [Jujubee] Hold on, the businesswoman in me
wants to reproduce a whole bunch of these.
(Brennan and Monét laughing)
- And of course, Princess.
(Monét laughing)
- [Bob] Why are you laughing at Princess?
- [Jujubee] Look at her tutu.
She is so hot.
- [Monét] You look so good, bitch.
Okay, Princess has been to Barry's a couple times, okay?
- [Bob] She is Barry, - She is Barry.
Princess looks fierce, bitch.
- She's so cute, I wanna be her.
- Honestly, Princess is giving, honey.
- [Monét] The scrunchie.
- Honestly, she's amazing. - [Monét] Wow.
- Princess better. - Oh, incredible.
- That's fierce.
- That's so good. - I love her.
- I got, okay I gotta take my jacket off for this, hold on.
It is getting wild up in here, honey.
Woo!
- Oh, she got nice cheeks, too.
Look at those cheeks.
- [Monét] Troyánn looks fierce. - Monét had an idea for us.
- Oh yes. - [Brennan] Yes.
- So going into this final battle,
we were gifted by the lovely people here at "D20,"
their own personalized die?
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- And we feel that we're gonna
strike the ones that we brought in.
(Brennan gasps) - Okay.
- And bring in the era, the dawning of the "D20" die.
- Oh, beautiful.
- So we're christening these die in this battle.
- Yes. - [Brennan] Here we go.
- So if we win, it's 'cause I had
a great idea to do this, okay?
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- And if we don't win? - If we lose, it's because y'all cursed
these motherfuckin' die.
(Brennan laughs)
- Right now, I need help finding out
which ones go back and which ones go.
- So, let's go ahead and break them in.
First of all, I would love all of you
to place your minis on the board, before we roll.
So, go ahead, this platform right here on the stone.
In the middle of that platform,
go ahead and place your minis.
- [Alaska] This one? - Yeah, that one right there.
In whatever order you'd be standing in.
- I'll be toward the front, because I'm strong and big.
- [Monét] Yeah, sis. - [Brennan] So there's Princess.
- Let's stand side by side.
'Cause I'm trying to get some courage, so-
- [Brennan] I love it. - Gertie's gonna get up there.
She's done hiding in the shadows.
- Oh.
- And for you to know- - Was that a bad idea?
- No, that's wonderful.
And for you to know, every one of these
little sort of mini squares here,
if you notice these one inch squares?
That equates to about five feet.
So when you think about,
so if you move, like for example, Princess moves 40 feet,
that's the equivalent of eight squares.
- Okay, got it.
- And talk to me about the distance we can cover,
like what about the space in between?
- [Brennan] So those spaces are very deadly.
Empty void opens underneath these platforms
in front of the throne.
- [Monét] These are floating platforms?
- These are floating platforms
that fall away into empty nothingness below you.
- So how do we know how much,
how do we find out the range our spells and attacks have?
- Your spell cards will list a range on them.
- Got it.
- Some spells have shorter ranges than others.
Your weaponry also has ranges.
Your longbows, for example, have different lengths.
There are some lengths that you can hit normally.
There are other lengths that you can hit with disadvantage,
but I believe some of you also have some abilities
that change in different ways.
We can cover that as you ask
whether things are possible or not.
This is, of course, the biggest battle of the adventure,
so feel free to ask for clarifications and points of order,
but let's christen these new dice,
let's break in these new dice with rolling for initiative.
So let's go ahead and roll for initiative for combat,
and let me know what you get.
- All right, initiative, let's do it.
- [Bob] All right, that's gonna tell us-
- Initially I was afraid to do this, but I'm happy.
(Brennan laughs)
- Here we go.
(new dice clacking)
- [Monét] Woo, my god. - Where's initiative?
- 12. - [Monét] Jesus Christ.
- [Jujubee] 14. - [Brennan] 12.
With initiative added in, right?
- Yeah. - 12 with initiative.
- [Bob] My initiative is, wait, where's my initiative?
- 26. - [Alaska] It's up at the top of the page.
- 26, I have 13.
- [Brennan] 26, 13- - I have nine.
- [Monét] 13 for Troyánn.
- And nine for Gertrude.
- So I lied, I have a nine plus 12, actually.
That was a nine, not a six.
- 12 for Gertrude, 13 for Troyánn,
26 for Twyla, and Princess had a 12 as well, right?
- Yeah. - Okay.
Very, very cool.
All right, we're gonna let it fall where it falls.
- Now Brennan, it's not lost on me,
and I just kinda realized this.
You're, we're kinda fighting you.
(queens laughing)
You are the enemy.
- The enemy and the friend.
- And the friend. - Frenemy.
- Well, you know?
- The fren-enemy.
- But yeah, the Dungeon Master is a position
of both collaborator, and at times, opponent.
- So master of manipulation.
(Brennan laughs)
- So, we are going to break into combat.
I will tell you right now, in the order that you had,
your enemies have certain initiative orders as well,
but the order that you will be acting in is Twyla first,
then Troyánn,
Princess and Gertrude, you act on the same initiative,
so you can decide between you who goes first.
- Do you wanna go first, or do you want me to?
- I am going to go first.
- [Brennan] (gasp) Very brave. - Okay.
Twyla. - Yeah.
- You look and see, assembled before you,
before the Throne of Thanara,
all of these enemies stepping forward
from the skulls and shadows.
(gravelly) Zaria Hex.
Oh, little fairy.
You have flown too close to the shadows.
The time has come to peel
those pretty little wings off your back.
- Oh, hell nah.
Okay, so can I do something right now?
- [Brennan] It is your turn, you are first to act.
- You have to do something.
- Here's my question. - [Brennan] Yes.
- [Jujubee] So here's the attack, right?
- I think you should.
- It's longbow and short- Miss Thang.
Do you want me to die? - No.
- So there's longbow and shortsword, right?
- [Brennan] Yeah. - It says,
"On your first turn of combat,
your movement increases by 10."
- [Brennan] Yes.
- "You gain one extra attack,
and that extra attack deals more damage."
Is it longbow, or shortsword, or either one?
- Either one. - [Jujubee] Either one.
- Why don't you use magic?
- Huh?
- You don't wanna use magic?
- Should I use magic?
- What I will say is this,
there are some very good spells that you have, right?
You have a couple-
- Maybe I'll do the Hunter's Mark.
- Hunter's Mark, well here's the cool thing too.
So here's what I would say.
This is where I will,
I'm gonna take off my enemy hat for a second
and put on my friend hat. - Okay.
- So there's a bunch of great options.
Summon Beast is a great option.
Hunter's Mark is a good-
- I always wanna summon the beast.
- [Brennan] Of course. - That's my kitty.
- So, what I will say is this,
Summon Beast is great,
but you cannot cast two leveled spells,
meaning two powerful spells on the same turn.
Hunter's Mark is actually not a full action to cast.
If you look at your cheat sheet,
you'll see it's a bonus action,
which means that probably the most efficient turn,
given that you have extra attacks
only on your first turn of combat-
- I should do that first.
- You should probably do Hunter's Mark first,
and then you could cast Hunter's Mark,
and get three attacks with all that extra damage from-
- Well, let's do that.
- Hell yeah.
- First she was like, eh.
- Tell me what to say, so the camera can get me saying it.
What is it?
- I'll take the one-
- So you're gonna want.
So you're gonna probably want to cast Hunter's Mark,
and then take your three attacks.
- Okay, all right ladies, you ready for this?
- Okay.
- Twyla- - What's that?
- Me, I'm gonna cast my Hunter's Mark,
and then I'm gonna take the three attacks,
which I think is a really genius move
for somebody who is an amateur.
(all laughing)
Do you know what I'm saying?
- Brilliant, I mean your tactics are on point, 100%.
- Bold of you to assume they're gonna edit out
all the coaching.
- I really hope you do, editor.
(Brennan laughs)
- So, the range on Hunter's Mark
is pretty long, it's 90 feet,
but you are still the full length of the battlefield away,
so let's see, well first of all,
who do you wanna cast Hunter's Mark on?
'Cause you have to pick one target for it.
- Zaria Hex killed all your people.
- I, that's who I think it should do.
- Is he fighting just us,
or is he just going back and forth?
- Give me an insight check real quick.
- Okay, insight check.
'Cause I looked up Friend,
and it said it only works on people
who aren't hostile against you.
- [Brennan] Yes, yes, yes, for sure.
- So I don't know if he's hostile against me or not.
I got a two plus two, I got a four.
- So, I think you try to take a moment and be like,
what's this guy's angle?
And as that happens, he goes-
(bloodthirsty roar)
And all rational thought just-
- Now we know. - Got it, got it.
Anything nearby.
- It's like asking Eureka a question, you know?
It's kind of just, wah!
You don't get a clear answer.
- Right. - Oh my god.
(all laughing)
- So, if Zaria's the target,
you would have to fly forward,
at least to the edge of that platform there
to be within range.
- So how long was that? - Which is how many feet?
- How long is that whole thing?
- This whole thing is about, so I'll give you 80 feet.
That's 80 feet right there, another 10,
so about the, actually the middle over here
is about 90 feet.
And from the middle of that to Twyla
is probably about 20 feet.
- Okay.
- [Brennan] Twyla, you have to close
a little bit of distance
for your Hunter's Mark to reach Zaria.
- [Jujubee] Well how do I get closer, then?
Wait a minute, can I do a dash?
But then I lose the attack.
- Use your attack.
- Your speed is actually 40 right now, and you can fly.
So you just have to, so you can move for free.
You can move up to 40 feet for free,
and you only need to move 20 feet.
You're totally good.
You can just move and get closer,
but what I need you to decide
is where do you wanna move to to get closer to her?
You can go up a little bit, you can go-
- [Monét] She's right here, right?
- [Brennan] Yeah, that's Zaria right there.
- [Monét] Zaria right there. - [Jujubee] That's Zaria.
- [Monét] So if you go right here, you can do that.
- [Alaska] You'll be within range. - Yeah, let's go there.
- [Brennan] Cool. - Let's go right there.
- Also, because you have so much movement,
because you actually have 40 feet,
if you wanted to go there,
and elevate and go higher, you could do that as well,
'cause you can fly.
- You want me to fly you over?
- [Jujubee] Yeah, I wanna hover,
I wanna hover, like a helicopter.
- How many feet up would you say you wanna hover?
- Let's say 13 feet.
- [Brennan] Hell yeah. - 13?
- That's my lucky number.
Should I go higher?
- Yes, 13, but that's one Bob.
- Okay, let's, oh yeah, I'm as tall as you now.
Let's say 33 1/2 feet.
- [Brennan] 33 1/2 feet. - Damn.
- Let's make it a nice, round number.
33.33- - [Monét] She's like pi, pi feet.
- Incredible.
- Just a half inch off the ground, don't get crazy.
- Oh my god!
- And Twyla is soaring over the battlefield.
- [Monét] Oh this is so- - [Bob] Werk.
- [Jujubee] Actually, can you make her
go up a little bit higher?
- Oh sure. - What the?
- And that's the magic of this amazing-
- [Bob] Oh she looks amazing. - [Monét] Werk!
- [Bob] About to give 'em the business today.
- Okay, 'cause now if I played DnD with people,
I'm not gonna be this impressed.
- Nobody can do this, yeah.
- If we invite you over, we do expect you to bring this.
- Yes.
- Straight up, I constantly disappoint my friends.
That's all I do all day.
I roll up, and they're like Brennan's gonna play DnD,
and I'm like, I got a dry erase board and Mancala beads.
(all laughing)
- No!
- And they go, "What happened?"
And I was like, "Well, Rick Perry doesn't follow me around
in my day-to-day life."
- What's up, Rick, come on!
Be cool, bro, be cool! - Be cool, Rick!
Rick is very cool, this is sick as hell.
- Yeah, this is amazing. Okay, sorry.
- Incredible, so you're going to go ahead
and cast Hunter's Mark.
So Hunter's Mark means that you
have picked your target in the battle.
Every time you hit her,
you are going to deal an additional one D6 damage.
- That's amazing.
- And what does it look like, magically,
as Twyla casts Hunter's Mark on Zaria?
- [Jujubee] So, this- - Yes!
- So Twyla, right now, is in such a space in her brain
where she's just ready to protect her sisters
and bring back the Fae people, right?
So she centers herself in the sky.
She has one leg up, and she does one of these.
- (trills) Ha! (crashing, wood crackling)
(Brennan grunts)
- Zaria (grunts) as this sort of just pure, scintillating,
angry red glitter (yelps) fairy magic covers her face.
(Brennan grunts)
And you now have Hunter's Mark cast on her.
You're gonna give me three attack rolls on Zaria Hex.
- Oh, three!
- Let's go for it, oh here we go.
- Okay, attack rolls. - Mm-hmm.
- Just kill her, off the bat, just-
- Where's my attack, baby?
- She can get three nat 20s.
- So she gets to roll the D20 dice three times, and-
- Yes, on your first turn of combat,
you get an extra attack.
As a ranger, she's all about it,
it's why she has a plus 14 to initiative.
She's all about the ambush, like hiding in the woods,
coming out with the ambush.
- Are they gonna get an extra attack too?
- No, they will not get an extra attack,
but for example, Troyánn has ability called Action Surge
that can let her attack two extra times in a round.
- Sounds like a soda.
Get an Action Surge!
- This is your first attack,
and I believe you're adding plus 11 every time.
- Where is it, where's that?
- On your- - What is the XP?
Can we find out what their hit points are?
- No, you don't know.
I'll describe how injured they get.
- Oh here, is it here? - Yeah, yeah, plus 11.
- Brennan, that's shady. - [Jujubee] Oh my gosh, okay.
- [Monét] That's shady, Brennan. - Okay, ladies.
One, two, three. - [Monét] Come on, girl.
- 20! - 20!
- 13. - Oh!
- So 13 plus 11, 24.
As your first arrow flies,
you see Zaria goes for a Counterspell to defeat the mark,
you see Zaria goes for a counterspell to defeat the mark,
but Gertie, you know,
Counterspell only has a range of 60 feet.
- I know that, that's a fact.
- That's a fact, so in other words,
Twyla is outside the range of a Counterspell.
Instead, you see Zaria, woo, whips a Shield around her body.
- Oh, okay. - She casts the Shield spell.
Your mark is so true that it flies
through the glimmering runes of the shield spell,
and even though she's raised her armor class by five,
that roll still hits her.
- (almost inaudible) Fuck yeah. - First attack hits.
Go ahead and roll your second attack.
- Also Counterspell's a big spell,
so she can't do it too many more times.
- Mm-hmm, absolutely.
- Zaria Hex.
- Zaria Hex, you-
- Hit her Zaria necks.
- You little piece of shit!
- Punch her in her Zaria pecs.
- All right, Zaria, you come and get this-
- Zaria about to get decked.
- You about to get pummeled!
12. - 12, woo!
- That's another- - Plus 14.
- That's another hit. - Oh, wait.
- 12 plus 11.
That is another hit, go ahead and roll your third.
- Come on!
Okay, ຊາວ, ຊາວ, ຊາວ, which means 20 in Laotian.
(Queens chanting 'ຊາວ')
- Seven plus 11 is 18. - Not bad.
- Right? - Oh, that's not good.
- 18 exactly hits her armor class.
One less, and that third attack
is the one that does the extra damage.
- We now know that Zaria Hex is 18.
I got a little intel.
- [Brennan] A little intel, a little intel.
- 18.
- So, you are going to roll
a truly absurd amount of damage right now.
- What?
- 'Cause you've hit all three times,
so you are going to roll,
and I can give you some extra dice to roll
if you want some extra dice for this.
- Oh, give it to me, daddy.
- Here we go. - Come here.
- That's dungeon daddy to you.
- You're gonna take your- - Do you see how nervous I am?
I'm like sweaty. - It's incredible.
This is an incredible first turn of combat.
Go ahead and grab your D8. - You better werk!
Grab your D8, and then grab your D6.
- [Jujubee] Okay, D6, D8.
- I don't think Twyla can count that far.
- And you're going to take- - She's a dancer.
- Another two D6, that's from Hunter's Mark,
and this is all the rest of your Zephyr Strike, or of your-
- We're gonna ruin her.
- You're going to roll all of those,
and then because you hit three times,
and you add, and you got the magical bow,
and you add your dexterity every time you hit,
you're gonna roll all of those,
and you're gonna add 18.
- [Monét] Oh my god. - Ruin her.
Ruin her. - End her, girl.
- Get her together.
- She is sorry she brought her ass down to the Underworld.
- Are you rolling them one at a time?
- Baby. - [Monét] One at a-
- How many queens get to do this?
So I'm gonna, okay, so that's-
- Four, actually.
- Okay, four.
Come on.
(dramatic music)
Seven.
- So that's 15.
- Six, five. - 20.
- Three. - [Brennan] 23.
- Two, what, motherfucker. - [Brennan] 25.
- Six!
- 31 plus 18, 49 points of damage.
Zaria steps forward going,
(gravelly) Such pain and ruin, will I-
(Brennan imitating arrows thudding)
And just vomits about ten gallons of blood,
stumbling backwards. - Yes.
- She has gone from the height of her power
to struggling to live in one round of combat.
- It's what she deserves.
(tense music)
(arrows whooshing)
(Zaria grunts)
(arrow loading and firing)
(Zaria screeching)
(thunder booms) (deep reverb)
(dramatic music)
- You have taken away well more than half of her hit points
in your first turn of combat.
- Wait how many points altogether,
how many points did she take from her?
- [Brennan] You did 49.
- So she's got less than 50 points left, okay I'm keeping-
- How many points she has left?
- Less than, he won't tell us but-
- I won't tell you exact numbers, but she-
- But we know, less than 49.
- She just, fairy arrows,
and you can feel a pouch at your side
filled with playing cards is glowing so brightly
that yeah, the chamber fills with light!
You still have your Hunter's Mark on her,
and she stumbles backward, badly injured.
Incredible turn from Twyla.
- All the fairies are happy. - Yes!
I'm very proud of myself for that move.
- That was very great. - That was good.
- It was incredible. - That's really good.
- I wanna know what she has to say to me after that hit.
Does she have any words? - Ouch.
- You can tell that this woman has spent
an entire necromantic life,
mostly pithily quipping at people
that she then melts with magic,
and all she can do right now is just vomit blood.
- Good, good for her.
(Brennan retches)
- Just that sort of thing of the click lock
in the back of the throat of (retches) as whatever magic,
just those fairy arrows piercing her chest.
- She's gagging, literally.
- Literally gagging.
- I don't know why you're all gagging.
- I make people gag all the time.
- There you go.
- But you don't, and that's the good thing.
- I don't know why are you gagging?
Because you're full of arrows.
(Jujubee laughs)
- You see one of your enemies leaps into action.
- Oh god.
- You see Kerwyn takes his sword aloft and goes-
- Fuckin' Kerwyn.
- (gruff) Sorry for the deception, my beautiful niece.
Just needed you to come a little bit closer.
Be so much easier to drag your soul here
if you're already here to start with.
He is going to leap forward here.
- Is he gonna get on that platform?
- He flies into a rage. - Oh god.
(Brennan roars)
- [Brennan] And leaps onto this platform here.
- What the?
- [Brennan] The stone cracks underneath him as he lands,
and he surges forward to about here.
- [Bob] Oh god, he's so close to her!
- To who, to me? - Yes, bitch!
He's right next to you!
- Maybe I should've gone higher, huh?
- He, actually I need to sort of see his movements.
- Maybe you shouldn't.
(Bob laughs)
- [Brennan] Actually, now that you bring it up,
that's a great point.
- No, no.
- Wait, how high are you flying?
You are a skyscraper.
- You know, we can all just go back.
She's got this.
That first hit was great.
- She's like, goodnight.
- [Brennan] I've somehow misplaced- - Thank you, goodnight.
- [Brennan] My little measuring guide.
- Honestly, I don't think we need to go there.
Let's just, why don't you roll perception right now?
- Just gonna see-
(all laughing)
- Why don't you roll it, yeah, yeah! - [Jujubee] Why don't you?
- [Jujubee] Why don't you roll the perception.
- So from there to there is 50 feet,
and from him to you is- - [Jujubee] 180 feet.
- Is about 35. - And?
- Which means that you're about five feet past
where he could jump to and hit you.
- Oh, werk.
- He's not going to, is he?
'Cause I'm cute.
- [Bob] He's gunning for- - No, you're safe.
If you were five feet closer to him, he can hit you.
- Oh, I misunderstood.
- [Brennan] Troyánn, that is going to be your turn.
- Okay. - All right, Troyánnica.
- [Jujubee] Oh my god.
- So, what Troyánn wants to do,
now I, of course, am gonna attack cousin KeeKee.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
- (whisper) But cyclops is closer. - Sounds very personal.
- You're right, he is closer, but he's so,
oh you know what?
You right.
Uncle Ker-Ker?
You tried to fuck me up earlier,
and I got something for his ass.
- That's right, yeah.
Yeah, you're right!
- Mhmm. Okay, so what I'm gonna do first is I can do,
okay so I have a question.
My perci-, I'm gonna get this word before we leave here.
Perstidigation, perstig-, perstidigitation.
- I think it's Prestidigitation. - Yeah, that's right.
But you know, those were all the syllables.
It's Presti-digitation.
- Prestidigitation.
So, minor magical tricks and illusions.
What does that, that's so vague.
What are my minor- - This your card?
- Is this your, is this your card?
- I cut the cards.
- It kind of is magic tricks and things like that.
It's small little illusions like that.
In the heat of this battle,
that spell's probably not gonna be too much use to you.
- Okay, all right.
- It might help with some other kind of feat of athletics,
or something else like that,
but for the most part,
you have more potent abilities available to you.
- Okay.
So what I want to do is-
- Oh yeah, is that the weapon he hit Monét with earlier?
- Yeah. - Yes.
- Damn, that thing is-
- It's big, right?
- [Bob] That's bigger than her whole little fairy body.
- Right?
- You could probably shoot arrows
and fucking take out Zaria, right?
From this range?
'Cause you can shoot from far.
- How far can I shoot? - [Bob] She's almost dead.
- It doesn't say, what is the range of my, of my-
- Yeah, I guess if we get her first.
- She's almost dead, but he's really close,
which feels like something in-
- I'll take him.
- I think she wants to take him, that's the thing, right?
- I wanna take him. - [Jujubee] Yeah.
- Yeah. - But so do you.
'Cause he hurt you.
- But you can shoot arrows really, how far can she shoot?
- Oh, your range on that is 150 feet.
- Oh, okay.
- So you can hit pretty much anyone on this board,
provided they don't have-
- You can shoot back to the bazaar at this point.
- Yeah, there are some people
that would have cover from you,
like if you think about a straight line from your character.
So it depends on who you're trying to hit.
Like probably, so for example,
your cousin Keena has a total cover from you right now.
She's hidden behind all these columns, and cages, and stuff.
But, Kerwyn, Morgan, Zaria,
they're all open to you right now,
but also, you could move to get a line of sight on Keena.
- So now if I move, I won't be able to do two attacks.
I can only attack once.
- You have 30 feet of movement that you get for free.
- For free, okay.
- For free?
- [Monét] So I'm gonna move one, I wanna be on this side.
Is that 30?
- [Bob] Five, each one's five.
- [Brennan] So- - Oh five or 10?
- I think each one's five.
- [Brennan] Real quick- - But the abyss counts, right?
- Your strength- - Oh, the abyss counts.
- What does the abyss count for?
- I don't know. - So, here's the thing.
You can comfortably clear a gap of 15 feet
with your long jump.
That chasm is a little bit longer than 15 feet across,
so it would require an athletics check.
Now, you have a good athletics score,
but there's always the potential
for something to go wrong if you rolled really low,
so it's a risky leap.
- I'll use my acrobats. - What if you went up?
- [Brennan] Oh, use acrobatics?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- On this thing?
- Oh, can I go up?
- [Brennan] Absolutely, so-
- [Monét] What does one of these count as?
- So that would be a very difficult climb.
So the choices that are available to you,
you can try to jump the distance,
you could climb straight up a column,
which is less risky, but is very difficult.
Just think about scaling a sheer column.
There's also some collapsed architecture behind you,
which might take you a little bit farther out of your way.
So those are your options that are available to you.
- I wanna get up here. - Okay.
- 'Cause I was here.
I wanna get up here.
- Amazing.
We'll call this a DC15 acrobatics
to attempt to just truly scale up a sheer column,
straight up, to jump up to the top.
- [Monét] Okay. - [Bob] What's your acrobatic check?
- It's eight. - [Bob] High, right?
Oh, that's good.
(tense music)
- Come on.
(Monét yelps)
- What is it, Monét?
(hands slam on table)
- What is it? - Oh my god!
- [Bob] You slid down the wall?
- You're not gonna fall down the hole, it's okay.
- You just slipped, it's just a little embarrassing.
What did you roll?
- I rolled two. - Je-sus.
- So I have a 10, what does that do?
So I slipped and I fell?
- As you attempt to go up the side of the column there,
you get about halfway,
and feel the cold stone of the Underworld
sapping the strength from your limbs
as you attempt to scale up.
You can either stay up that partial point,
where your range is still limited,
or you can attempt to leap off
and use your remaining movement to go up the back way,
but those columns are not possible for you to scale. - Okay, you know what?
I'm gonna stay here.
- Okay, cool.
- Thank god you didn't try to leap the fuckin' void.
- [Monét] Now from here to here, is this 150 feet?
- [Brennan] Yes, it is.
- And from this angle, I can see him.
- Yeah, absolutely.
- Oh, question.
If I do my spell of wind,
and I knock him down, does he get damage from that?
- Well, using your spell of wind to try and knock him down.
He would take one D6 damage every 10 feet that he fell,
so he'd probably take two or three to six damage
if he hit the platform.
- (roughly) Knock him off into the abyss.
- Yeah.
- So, I'm gonna take a look at Gust of Wind real quick,
'cause that is the potential to do some really wild stuff.
- (whisper) Oh, that's smart.
- Gust of Wind.
Each creature that starts its turn in the line
must succeed on a strength saving throw,
or be pushed 15 feet away from you
in a direction following the line.
So you have to pick the line the wind is blowing in.
Now, Kerwyn making a strength saving throw?
He's very strong, and he's raging right now,
but it's a high risk, high reward.
Like he'd be very good at resisting it, but if he failed,
he would plummet into the inky void.
- Oh my god. - I love that.
- But I also wanna give Princess a chance to,
I wanna just hurt him a little bit.
I wanna give her the chance.
You know what?
How about, can I send my wind to bring sister KeeKee down?
- Ooh, absolutely. You can 100% do that.
- I'm gonna do that.
I'm gonna roll for, so Troyánn is over there,
and she is summoning the power,
'cause she's kind of like Storm.
She's like the Storm of Dungeons & Dragons.
So I'm like getting the Gust of Wind,
getting the Gust of Wind.
I need to roll a what?
- Actually, this is just an automatic thing.
You cast this spell, and it works right away.
Also, it's a 60 foot long line,
so you can kind of put this doing whatever you want.
You can put it on KeeKee here,
or you can move it to try to get all three of them in a line
if you wanna put it at a little bit of a diagonal.
- That's an idea.
You should do it.
- Yeah, let's do a diagonal wind going that way.
- That was a not subtle clue.
- Okay, you wanna have it go this way?
- Yes, push through that way. - Great, hell yeah.
Okay, so we're gonna roll some saves, all in a row.
These are strength saving throws.
Let's see here, this is so cool.
Okay, one by one, your difficulty for this, as well,
is gonna be a 15,
and we gotta see their strength saving throws.
- I'm not rolling well, guys.
- Oh no, spells, they roll.
You just do the magic. - Okay.
So I am saying my incantation.
(Monét sings chant from 'No Good Deed' from Wicked)
(Bob continues the chant and lyrics)
- You see Morgan of the Glaring Sun resists,
gazing right at you and saying,
Your witchcraft of the deep sea will do nothing here.
- We know a Scottish drag queen named Morgan,
which is kinda hilarious.
(Brennan laughs)
- We do.
- We do know a Scottish drag queen named Morgan.
- Incredible.
Poor fuckin' Zaria, vomiting blood,
she faceplants and just scrapes down the stairs
about 15 feet, and gets dangerously close
to the bottom of the staircase.
♪ She had it comin' ♪
♪ She had it comin' all along ♪
- [Monét] Ooh, she's sideways!
- Yeah, oh she's tumbling facedown.
- Still vomiting.
- [Brennan] Still vomiting.
(Brennan retching)
- [Monét] She is doing Beyonce "Ring the Alarm," girl.
- Beyonce, if you are watching this, that was not me.
That was Monét X Change.
I had nothing to do with that,
and I advised her not to do it, continue.
- She's at home, she's like y'all so crazy.
- Jay, come look at this.
- Okay, okay, okay.
KeeKee.
- Okay, this is KeeKee,
and we're gonna roll this right now.
This is gonna be a pretty huge one here.
(Brennan sighs)
This is gonna be Box of Doom,
'cause the stakes are very high.
Now, I won't- - I love steak.
- Ooh, I love a good steak. - And I love high.
(Monét laughs)
- Now, I'm gonna warn you ahead of time,
'cause I want this to be, to feel earned.
So the first thing she's gotta do is resist the spell.
If she doesn't resist the spell,
which she's not very good at it,
'cause it's a strength save and she's all dexterity.
But, she has one other ability
that may come up, even if she fails,
so she might have two chances here.
We'll roll the first one first.
This is her strength,
this is her just trying to knuckle down,
but she has got to get a 15 on the die.
- Okay. - Oh my gosh.
(tense music)
(Monét screams)
- So, the wind takes her off her feet.
She is going to use a special ability as a reaction
to attempt to resist this with dexterity.
She's gotta hit the- - Dexterity.
She's probably strong, like me.
- Yeah, she's gonna add a seven to this.
- What's your dexterity? - [Monét] Five.
- Okay, she's more dexterous.
- So she needs eight or higher here.
She needs an eight or higher.
- Oh my gosh.
- An eight or higher? - [Brennan] Eight or higher.
- It's gonna be a two.
- [Monét] It's gonna be a one. - [Bob] It's gonna be a two.
- [Brennan] Five! (Monét whoops)
- Yes! (queens clapping)
Knock this bitch down, yeah.
- I'm sorry!
- So, you summon that wind.
Keena looks at you and says, "Troyánn, Mother will, hah!"
And the wind picks her straight up into the air.
She whips that chain hook, clatters against the stone.
She tries to find purchase, and sails off,
and begins to just fall into the open abyss.
- Yes! (Monét claps)
- Into the abyss?
- Can we say bye to her?
(all laughing)
- Bye! - Bye!
- Do a Lizzo.
Bye, bitch!
- What is Thanara thinking right now?
Is she loving this?
Is she having fun?
(shouts) Are you not entertained?
(Brennan laughs)
- Actually, that's a great point.
I think at the end of the round,
we should make a group performance check
to see if you are doing all these moves stylishly enough
for Thanara to be like, I love it.
- She's probably like,
Werk, yas queen! - I did my job, okay?
I even did some work for you.
- [Brennan] Incredible. - You're welcome, honey.
- So here's Keena, just sailing into the darkness over here.
- [Bob] Oh my god, she's sailing.
- Bye-bye! - [Brennan] Unbelievable.
- This is so great, see? - Good job.
- "D20," thank you for these die, really.
- For real.
- Troyánn, summoning the wind of the wide sea,
you scatter Keena, your cousin,
cousin KeeKee goes ass over tea kettle,
falling into the abyss.
You can hear her going ha, ha,
as this rattling chain falls behind her.
- And she was trying to talk shit right beforehand too,
I love that for her.
(Brennan laughs)
- You see as she calls out and goes, "Help, Morgan!"
And yells at Morgan over here, in the corner.
You have used your action, you've used your movement.
If you have a bonus action you'd like to use,
you can do so now, but you do not have to.
- I wanna, 'cause I can only use it once per hour, right?
- [Brennan] You can only use it once per hour.
- I'm gonna save it. - Cool, good call.
- Is each battle an hour, or is it literally an hour?
- Oh, these battles take place over seconds or minutes,
so your powers are not gonna be able to refresh
during the course of this combat.
- Got it.
- Oh my gosh.
- Next to act is going to be Gertrude.
- Woo!
(whips paper) (Alaska chuckles)
You know, I've noticed that little miss of the sun?
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- Is unscathed. - [Brennan] Yes.
- And I think it's time to scathe.
(Brennan laughs) - I think you're right.
- Okay, so my moves have a lot of range.
I'm talking 120 feet. - Oh, shoot.
- 150 feet.
You know, there's some real range on these puppies,
so I feel like I want to start with an Eldritch Blast,
which is 120 feet. - [Brennan] Yes.
- [Bob] And this is getting a boost,
'cause this is my first attack.
- [Brennan] Yes, yes, yes, yes.
- My other idea might be,
I think it's too early to start Fireball-ing.
It feels too early to start Fireball-ing.
- I don't think it's too early.
- Well Fireball, it seems like it,
Fireball can cover a large area.
- [Brennan] Yeah. - Okay.
- Meaning if I can get them closer together,
I can probably hit all of them.
They're pretty spread out now,
so I could possibly hit her and her,
but I don't wanna accidentally hit this guy.
- Why, who cares?
- 'Cause he's not necessarily against us.
- Yeah, we don't wanna piss him off.
- I don't wanna get him going against us-
- Wouldn't he be against, oh he's with her.
- He is her boyfriend.
- No, she's not against us.
She doesn't have a side.
- Oh. - She's just watching.
- So he's just on the board, wreaking havoc.
- Okay.
- He is kind of a chaotic neutral.
- He's a guest judge. - [Monét] Well, he look evil.
- He's a guest judge.
- He's the extra special guest judge.
- Yeah. (all laughing)
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- When Leah Remini showed up.
- By the way, (laughs).
- [Jujubee] Literally.
- For Gertrude's benefit, this is a Fireball.
- [Monét] Oh!
- [Brennan] That's how big a Fireball is.
- [Alaska] What the- - Oh.
- I can get, we gotta get 'em a little closer.
- [Alaska] Yeah, they should be closer together.
- Yeah, no, okay.
- [Monét] Okay, we gotta save our Fireball.
- So I'm gonna do an Eldritch Blast.
- [Brennan] Hell yeah.
- Who's Eldouche?
- Eldritch?
- Eldritch, you know Eldritch.
It's like an old witch.
You know Eldritch.
That Eldritch who lives by the stack.
I wanna do an Eldritch Blast toward Lil Miss of the Sun.
- [Brennan] Incredible. - [Jujubee] Morgan?
- Miss of the Sun, Morgan.
And I can do, Eldritch Blast is just,
I can do that as many times as I want.
- You can do that as many times as you want.
That doesn't even burn a spell slot for you.
If you wanted a mid-range option as well,
something that's halfway between the Eldritch Blast
and everything else,
you have some other spells,
but as you've said before, the range might be different.
So Scorching Ray has a range of 240 feet.
- Okay.
- But, it's a second level spell,
so it's not as expensive as your Fireball,
but you can create three rays of fire,
and hurl them at as many targets as you want.
You can hit three different people,
you can hit all the same person with them.
- Okay, but I'm not using Detect Thoughts
during this, probably.
- [Brennan] Mm-mm.
- I, Hellish Rebuke, I'm probably not gonna use Darkness
because if you can see in the dark,
and you can see in the dark,
that means that he can see in the dark,
and she can see in the dark.
- Yes.
- So not doing that.
Oh I'm gonna do Scorching Ray.
- [Brennan] Hell yeah.
- Which is a, that's a stripper name.
(Brennan laughs)
- Scorching Ray. (sultry music)
- Ladies, are you enjoying yourself tonight?
Welcome to the stage, Mister- - Get your dollars out.
- Scorching Ray!
(Monét humming)
- She's pouring cooling powder all over her body.
She's like, it's so hot.
- Unbelievable.
All right, so Gertrude,
you are gonna summon three rays of fire
that you can fling up to 240 feet,
which is basically hitting anyone you want.
Line of sight right now,
you definitely have Morgan in your line of sight.
Do you want to split up over multiple targets,
or concentrate all three on the same?
- I feel like she's hurt, she's hurt-
- She's dead in the abyss,
[Monét And Jujubee] She gone.
- Well? - Oh no, she's falling.
Keena is falling into the abyss,
but called out to Morgan up here.
- Which is why I'm trying to hit Morgan,
so maybe she can't help her.
Maybe I'll knock her off her feet, and do something to her.
- [Alaska] That part.
- We're saving him, for later.
- [Monét] Yeah. - For dessert.
- Go ahead, so we're gonna do all three on Morgan.
Go ahead and give me three attack rolls,
and you're actually going to add, let me see,
'cause you now have that new staff.
- Oh yeah, I have that brand new staff.
- So you're gonna add plus nine to these rolls.
- [Bob] Plus nine. - Oh, wow.
- Okay, plus nine.
We have an 11.
- [Brennan] 20, hits. - [Monét] Okay, 20.
- We have a- - [Monét] Dirty 20.
- 12?
- [Brennan] 21 hits.
- And we have a six.
- Six, 15.
So, the third one misses,
but the first two hit.
Go ahead and roll four six-sided dice.
- Okay, I wanna put out before she did it,
she kinda put her feet down,
and then she looked up at Thanara like, you'll love this.
And she felt really confident,
and then she looked back over at Princess
and goes, (whisper) was that good?
(all laughing)
And then she walks over,
she winds it up real Liza Minnelli style,
and just throws these three fireballs over at her,
so I just wanted to point out
how it looked when it happened.
- Incredible.
- [Bob] D6. - [Monét] Four times, darling.
- Okay, this is a two. - Ooh.
- Well, don't make that noise, Monét.
- Okay, it's okay, it's okay. - You got it, diva.
- Three. - [Brennan] Five.
- Go in diva, all right.
- This one's a six, though.
- [Monét] Yeah, this is a six, for sure.
- This one's a six.
It's a two.
- [Brennan] Seven, go ahead and roll one last time.
- One last time, this one's the six.
(whisper) It's a two.
- A two. - [Brennan] Nine.
- This bitch is lucky.
- You see, as you step up Gertrude, and summon that fire,
streaking flame, it all looks like,
it looks like an oil slick lighting on fire,
but racing vertically up and away from you.
(Brennan gasps)
As fast as you can see, it hits Morgan square in the chest,
and you see she goes (sighs)
as the flame licks her cheeks.
She looks at you and goes,
"Oh, you'll be seeing plenty of this in time.
The fire waits for you, wicked soul."
- Then I look back at Princess and go,
"I shouldn't have talked shit."
(all laughing)
- Speaking of Princess, Princess, it is your turn to act.
- Okay, so what I would like to do is I would like Princess-
- Did that do any damage at all to her?
- Yes, she took the damage, but she's a freak
and was basically licking her lips as she burned.
- Got it.
- Any movement from Gertrude, or are you good where you are?
- I'm gonna stay where I am. - [Brennan] Cool.
- I would like Princess to jump up onto this thing.
- [Bob] Oh she's gonna move.
- And fly into a rage, and attack that guy, if she can.
- Hell yes.
So, I'm gonna need an athletics check from you,
'cause you can jump very high in the air,
but you're jumping effectively 20 feet straight up.
- Easy!
- Easy, so go ahead and, as you enter a rage,
you now roll athletics with advantage.
So, I'm gonna need a DC15,
same as Troyánn, DC15 to get up onto-
- Come on, Princess.
- All right, here we go.
A nine.
Well, a nine plus athletiques?
Is an eight.
- Oh, 17.
- 17, okay. - Okay.
An eight plus an eight, 16.
- All of you watch Princess squat down,
and (grunts) leap, bam!
And hit the stone platform up above.
- Nice! - Incredible.
- [Monét] The whole building shakes.
- [Brennan] That uses about 20 feet of your movement.
- [Alaska] Okay.
- [Brennan] You've used a bonus action.
You're here with about 20 feet of movement left.
- Can I get closer?
- [Brennan] Yes, you can.
So you can go five, 10, 15, 20, and get to the edge.
- [Monét] Oh you're right there. - [Brennan] You are right there.
- But how do we- - Face off.
- So, you've moved, you used a bonus action.
You have an action left.
You can either choose to leap forward at him,
with that action,
but you would be using movement, essentially,
but there are other options.
You could also try to ready an action, if you wanted.
And like- - What does that mean?
- Ready an action means waiting to see what he does,
or holding a strike so that if he charges you, you hit him.
- Okay.
What do I do?
- [Jujubee] Yeah. - You should get ready.
'Cause he's next.
He's moving before you do.
- No, Haria is next.
- Mm-hmm, yes, there's a couple.
Well, so there's- - So he's before she moves.
- Yes, so Kerwyn will act again before you,
so I think it's truly whatever is in Princess's heart.
Either you can move there,
so I think you would also see, in this moment,
that Kerwyn has a readied action as well.
He's holding like he's gonna swat you if you charge him,
but it's whatever's in Princess's heart.
It's either like, are you gonna leap at him and attack?
Or do you play it safe,
and hold back on an action for him to charge you?
- I'm thinking just stay at the ready.
- [Brennan] Hell yeah.
- Ready to strike him if he strikes me.
- Incredible.
You ready an action for if Kerwyn charges,
which is a very wise move.
By doing that, he's effectively wasted his previous turn.
He was set for you to charge him.
- [Bob] Oh, he was about to counter you, girl. (tongue pops)
- He was about to counter you. - Oh.
- You've read him successfully.
That he is basically-
- Read him.
(all laughing)
- Read her!
- Your ready wasn't that ready, honey.
- Yeah.
(Brennan laughs)
- Incredible.
Princess, astride there.
You see your uncle looking at you, and his shoulders relax
as he sees you standing across from him, blood in his eyes.
(low and growling) Why?
Why did you run?
I could've put you to rest with the rest of your family.
I've hated living in this sickening clan,
this house of sniveling little do-gooders.
Do you know the power the Foehammers could wield?
You, you have stood between me, and true power for too long.
I'm gonna put you into your grave, little girl.
(Brennan laughs)
- Woman of few words.
- Don't shrug, I mean, don't-
- Sticks and stones.
(Bob laughs)
- God, so dismissive!
- [Bob] Not sticks and stones.
- [Brennan] That is now going to be-
- It's very, like.
- This dude up here, Alacranos,
who goes (roars) and just charges.
He's going to skitter all the way here,
leap into this center platform. (Bob screams)
- [Alaska] What?
(Bob screams)
- And is going to take some swings
at Princess and at Kerwyn.
Just up in the mix, attacking everybody.
- And at Kerwyn?
- I told ya, he's chaotic neutral.
He's just swinging at everyone.
He's not against, he's with her.
She's not rooting for anyone.
- Oh.
- He's there just making it more interesting for her.
- He sounds like he's on steroids.
- He's in a rage.
- For real, right?
Go to the gym, baby.
- That's how they be acting, girl.
- Oh my gosh.
Write in a journal.
- Princess.
- (soft) Yes?
- [Brennan] You-
- That's when her voice was the softest.
- (soft and high) Yes?
- [Alaska] (low and growling) Yes.
- Finally talking in my real voice.
(Bob laughs)
Imagine.
- So, as you are standing up there looking at Kerwyn,
this giant monster (roars) lands on the platform,
partially climbs up the column,
and you see a massive stinger come and thud into your arm.
You are going to take, at first, six piercing,
but your rage halves that to only three damage.
But then you're going to take
an additional eight poison damage,
so 11 damage total to Princess.
- Oh my god, Princess.
(Brennan grunts)
- As this giant monster attacks.
That is Alacranos's turn.
Morgan of the Glaring Sun, you see that she takes her spear
and whoom, the tip alights in flame,
flaming spear in her hand,
who is ready to unleash holy fury.
Instead, must waste her entire turn.
- Oh thank god, 'cause she was probably gonna aim it at me.
- Flying after Keena, into the abyss.
- Oh my god! - Shit.
- You see her flying down as fast as possible
to this area over here.
- At least we didn't get hit.
- Fuck.
- This bitch is gonna go save her.
- Zaria Hex stands.
So you see, so you basically had,
effectively for this round,
taken two powerful enemies off the board,
as Morgan flies down into the darkness to retrieve her.
Zaria, on death's door, stands here.
She's still bleeding from her mouth.
You see the blood oozes down her chin,
into the collar of her gown,
and begins to weave itself in to her own fabric
like some sickening loop
of the dress being made of her own blood,
constantly cycling back in and out of herself.
She looks up at you.
- Who's you? - Twyla.
- Ooh! - Oh my god.
- Yes, well you did fuck her up.
- And she-
- Then Monét knocked her down.
- You see, Zaria looks at you- - Okay.
- And says, (panting).
- Say it!
- Don't spray it.
- [Brennan] You have it. - Don't spray it.
- You have it with you, I can smell it.
(Bob gasps)
- The fucking thing.
- The seed!
You have brought the seed to me!
Let this be a lesson.
The power I wield cannot be resisted!
Her eyes crackle with lightning,
and she releases a bolt of lightning, 100 feet long.
- Geez Louise.
- [Monét] Oh! - [Bob] You're gettin' hit, girl.
- Zap.
- I'm going to need a dexterity saving throw.
- Oh my goodness.
That's with the D20, right?
- That's with the D20.
- What's your dexterity plus?
- Dexterity, where is that?
Plus eight.
- Okay, that's good dexterity.
- Okay, and I only roll this one time?
- You're trying to beat, on a dexterity saving throw,
you are trying to beat a 15.
You will take half damage, if you are successful.
The spell is very powerful,
but if you fail, you will take the full damage of the spell.
- And then I die?
- Not necessarily.
It's gonna deal a lot of damage.
You may have the hit points needed to recover.
- Oh my goodness.
- You need seven or more.
- Okay, so I need a seven or more.
- You can do it. ♪ I'm gonna get a 13 ♪
(Brennan gasps) - What is it?
- A four. - Ooh, she's getting hit.
- Ooh. - Nuh-uh.
(dice rattle)
Not Twyrina.
- Oh, that's a lotta dice.
- Can I roll again?
- I'm afraid, I'm afraid not.
- Jujubee is like, can we just act like that didn't happen?
- Why didn't you turn yourself
into a paperclip or something?
- 'Cause a paperclips not gonna matter now.
- Pull it together.
(queens laughing)
- Twyla, flying overhead,
Zaria unleashes.
(lightning crackles) 28 points of lightning damage.
- Oh my god!
(Brennan screams)
(Jujubee yelps)
- What does she even have? - I'm fine.
(all laughing)
- 'Tis but a flesh wound.
- How many hit points do you have left?
- I have 44 hit points. - Minus 28?
16. (Bob gasps)
- 16 hit points left.
The radiance in your body,
as you resist this blood queen's magic,
the will-o'-wisps surround you.
With light, you have not succumbed
to this terrible lightning spell.
You see her lip quiver,
seeing that you are still aloft, your flight unchanged.
She screams, and is going to attempt to retreat,
as injured as she is, only makes it a couple feet back,
and she's gonna go in this direction, up the staircase here,
to try to get a better line of sight on you.
With that, Zaria is at the end of the round,
so we're gonna go back-
- Almost the end of her life,
if we have anything to do with it.
(tongue pops) - And that goes (gasps).
Wow, the poetry.
It goes back to the top of the order, which is of course-
- It's me. - [Brennan] It's Twyla.
- And guess what I'm gonna fucking do?
(all laughing) - [Bob] End her.
- Guess what I'm gonna do?
- Are you gonna kill her?
- Oh, I don't think I'm gonna kill her,
but I think my Buddy Bear is gonna show up
and I'm gonna say, you know what Buddy Bear?
I'm summoning your big Cat Tree ass,
and I'm gonna have you shove this bitch into the abyss.
(Brennan mews)
(queens gasping)
- Oh my god! - What?
- Wait, where did this? - No!
- How tiny is this? - Can I see?
- You absolutely can.
- Your Cat Tree. - Oh my god.
- It's a Cat Tree!
- [Alaska] So cute.
- That you made up yesterday.
(Jujubee purring)
The devil works hard, but "D20" works harder.
(all laughing)
- That is hilarious. - What's her name, Thanara?
Thanara works hard, but "D20" works harder.
(Brennan laughs)
That is great.
- [Brennan] Incredible. - This is fucking cool.
- That's great.
- So glad you summoned it,
otherwise they would've just had that sitting there.
(all laughing)
- They would've been like-
(queens clamoring)
- Rick's back there like-
- It just seems like-
- They're all back, arms crossed,
like she better fuckin' summon it.
- All night, they were just-
- [Brennan] Wow, okay.
- What the hell else is over there?
I think I summoned a butt naked hot man, what's up?
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- Thank god I didn't summon a cloud smoke, or water.
- [Brennan] Water. - A water cat.
- Unbelievable.
Twyla, Zaria steps to the edge,
surrounded by blood magic.
And says, (wheezing) I will have the seed.
This will be my final victory.
And behind her?
- Come on, Buddy Bear.
(all laughing) (Brennan imitates cat purring and growling)
Get her, Buddy Bear.
- Drag her.
- Unbelievable.
So, you are gonna go ahead.
Wow, this is so cool.
Okay, as you summon it,
and she's standing at the edge of the platform,
it's an opposed athletics check.
It's just simple, it's a shove attack.
- It is a shove attack, I looked it up.
(Brennan laughs)
- I saw her do it, she was googling.
- I did, I was like, here it is.
- Zaria wields incredible magical power,
but what she doesn't have a lot of is raw physical strength.
- Or friends.
(all laughing)
Clearly.
- So, she's gonna roll,
we're gonna roll for her in the Box of Doom.
We're just gonna see what her strength check is,
and this is gonna let you know what Buddy Bear has to beat,
and you're gonna roll for Buddy Bear here.
- Okay, aw, thank you for calling him that.
- Well, yeah. - The pet name.
- Okay, she gets a 16.
- Oh shit.
- [Brennan] But she doesn't add anything to it.
- Okay, yeah you have nothing here.
- You have nothing to add.
- You have nothing. - You have nothing, nothing!
- What I will say is this, you have your movement left.
If you are willing to chance it,
if you get a little bit closer,
Cat Tree will have advantage on the roll,
because Buddy Bear has an ability called Pack Tactics,
where the closer it is to an ally,
it has advantage.
So if you're willing to be a little risky,
you could get advantage on the athletics roll here.
- So I'm wondering if I should move,
I should just fly forward 30 feet.
- [Brennan] Yeah, great.
- That's what I'm thinking,
and I should still stay hovered, I believe.
- Yes, absolutely.
So, you move closer in range to help Cat Tree,
hovering over as you are.
- Should angle it down and point her little arrow at it.
Is that a thing?
Does it angle? - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, it does angle, yes, yes, yes.
Look at that. - Yeah!
Yeah! - That's so cool!
- Yeah!
- [Brennan] So sick!
- [Jujubee] That's so cool.
- Make sure you get a head shot, right there.
- Yeah. - [Brennan] There you go.
- Yeah.
- Okay, so you have,
you're going to roll twice here,
'cause you're rolling advantage.
Buddy Bear's got a plus four to strength,
so he just needs a 12 or higher on one of these die rolls,
and we see what happens to Zaria Hex.
- This is the one, right, to roll?
- That's the one, yeah. - [Monét] 12 or higher.
- Okay, okay.
- You get two.
- Buddy Bear, Buddy Bear, Buddy Bear.
(dice rattles)
- That is a 16 on the die! (all cheering)
Absolutely, wanna roll to see if you get that nat 20?
- What if?
If you do, you're gonna knock her fuckin' head off.
- Buddy Bear, baby, you know I love you, and I got you.
I got you, I got all these treats for you, baby.
(dice rattles)
- 17, still better, hey look at that!
How about it?
Incredible.
Twyla, you see Zaria looking.
She has been searching for years
for the Seed of the All Blossom,
and has come 20 feet away from it.
And she looks up at you going, "It's mine."
- And I'm going like this.
- Jujubee, please describe the final moments of Zaria Hex,
and what Cat Tree does in the moment of being summoned.
- So, I look at Buddy Bear, and I'm like,
"I love you so much, Buddy Bear.
Pss pss pss pss pss."
And then Buddy Bear goes, (purrs).
(more purring)
(Jujubee hisses)
(all laughing)
But before the attack, Buddy Bear goes.
(Jujubee mews)
And then claws the bitch off.
(Brennan screams)
- Huge wounds in her back, she falls.
The one chance she had at this
not being the end of her life is over here,
saving another ally that also got their ass knocked off.
Zaria falls.
No, no!
(magic whooshing)
I fucking hate cats!
(Bob laughs)
- And then I hand over a treat.
Here you go, Buddy.
Meow!
- And now you've straight up got a cat
that's just still here.
- Yes, one less enemy, and a cat!
- And a cat.
- Unbelievable, yeah Twyla!
(all applauding)
- Wait, did I, is that my, was that my mission?
- Yeah, Zaria Hex is your mission!
- Well, you can still fight.
- Yeah. - Wow.
Actually, I'm a little tired.
(all laughing)
- And with that in mind, I think I've had a long day.
- I think I'm gonna turn myself into a bunkbed.
No, I'm kidding.
- So, so incredible turn from Twyla.
We're gonna continue in initiative down to Kerwyn Foehammer.
- Shit. - Oh god.
- Kerwyn is going to leap forward,
and use one of his three attacks
to attempt to kick Princess backwards.
- Cool, good luck.
- So, this is going to be an opposed athletics check.
He's gonna roll,
he's raging so he rolls with advantage as well.
He rolls two 19s.
So. - What?
- So with plus seven, that's a 26.
- Oh shit.
- You need to get a 26 or higher on an athletics.
If you fail the check by 10 or more,
he will knock you off into the abyss.
- Oh shit!
- And that won't happen.
- Okay.
(all laughing)
- [Bob] Okay.
- [Brennan] Here you go.
- Oh, in the Box of Doom.
- [Brennan] In the Box of Doom.
- [Jujubee] Can we save her if she falls?
How do we save her?
- Okay, all right. - We might be able to.
We'll see. - Oh my god, okay.
So I need, what do I need?
Okay, I have a plus eight athletics.
- [Brennan] Plus eight, so on an 18 or higher, you beat him.
If you get a, if both of these are seven and under,
you fall into the void.
- Let's not talk about that.
(die rattles)
- 18, you succeed! - Yes, god!
- [Brennan] Incredible!
- Do I roll two, or just the one?
- Oh you can roll, you wanna roll as a crit?
If you hit a nat 20, maybe you can knock him off.
(die rattles)
16, okay, incredible.
- They were both good, though.
- Incredible, incredible rolls.
So, Kerwyn attempts to knock you back.
Unable to do so,
he instead flips over you (grunts) landing here.
Both of you standing over, he goes,
"Good stance.
Let's try a little swordplay."
And is going to swing twice with two sword blows in a row.
- What?
- Oh, I hope you don't fall, sis.
- But if she does, I do have Lightning Lure?
The whip of lightning, it does damage you,
but it does bring you closer.
I don't know if that would,
oh I just heard a deep breath over there.
- Kerwyn deals 26 points of damage,
halved to 13 because you are in a rage.
You are, you're halving all damage that comes to you.
He only deals slashing damage,
which is a type of damage
that you cut in half when you get it.
So another 13 points of damage.
How's Princess lookin' right now?
- 36 hit points.
- Okay, so Princess, you're still standing strong
as Kerwyn glares at you.
(Brennan grunts) (thunder booms)
That's his turn.
That's all he can do.
He's taken his swings.
Troyánn, that's gonna be you.
- Okay, so if I wanna cross over here?
- Yeah. - How many feet is that?
- That is about 20 feet. - Okay.
So I wanna use my free 30 feet to get there.
- So, with that, your jump can only take you 15 feet,
so you gotta beat that 15 athletics
or acrobatics to clear that distance.
- What if you fall in?
Like it's not, can't you just shoot that guy?
- But I don't wanna shoot him.
I wanna help you out and shoot-
- [Brennan] Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear that.
- You're injured and your back is to him.
- Yeah, but I, 'cause I can't shoot from here, right?
I need to clear this.
- You need to clear that.
- I can't see him from there.
So I'll, let me try to get over.
- [Brennan] Yeah, go for it.
- Okay so I'm rolling and I need to get a?
- [Brennan] You need to get a 15.
- But if she doesn't get, okay, no you're gonna get it.
- [Bob] Yeah. - But if she doesn't,
she can fall in the hole.
- Yes, that's correct. - Cool.
- [Brennan] You got it. - Maybe one of us has something
that can help her, we'll find out.
- [Brennan] So you just need a seven or higher.
- Water Walk?
- [Monét] I need a seven or higher? - [Brennan] Seven or higher.
- I can get a seven or higher. - Okay, yeah of course.
- [Jujubee] Can I enlarge them?
- Wait, we can grow and stuff.
- I can enlarge allies and enemies.
- That's true, that's true.
But it's Troyánn's turn right now.
- Oh, I can only do it on my turn.
- [Brennan] You can only do it on your turn.
- Monét, what is it?
Someone tell me what it is.
Say it, out loud with your mouth.
- I got a five.
(ominous music)
- Five?
- [Brennan] You having fun?
- [Bob] Are you- - Okay.
- Okay, we gotta figure out how to save this bitch.
- What does that mean, do you add anything to that?
- We can't save her, can't we? - Well, I will say this.
I will say this, now might be a great time-
- To pray, Lord Jesus.
(all laughing)
- Hallowed be thy name.
- Sweet Lord Jesus, if you use your Action Surge,
I won't make it actually cost your extra action,
but if you use your Action Surge,
I will allow you to re-roll that acrobatics
as a part of your move.
- That is called benevolence.
(all laughing)
- Okay.
- Let's do a benevolence check.
I think it was a nat 20.
- Okay.
10! - There we go!
Troyánn, sprinting into action,
you leap the chasm. - [Monét] Flip.
- Oh, not a flip.
- You don't even add a flip for a 10?
- A second ago, you could barely walk, now you're flipping?
Now you're Simone Biles?
(all laughing)
- I am the Simone Biles of Dungeons & Dragons.
- You were Mr. Bean three seconds ago.
Now you're Simone Biles, oh okay.
(all laughing)
- So, I clear, and I want to make, okay.
Technically, I can see both him.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- And I can see my lil cousin through the lil thing.
- Yes, actually through the legs of the scorpion,
you can see your cousin.
- I can see her. - Yes, absolutely.
- So, now the question is should I split the difference?
Can I give you a help out, and also hit her?
I think so, 'cause you're weak up there.
So I'm gonna do, okay my spear,
can I throw my spear?
- Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
You can throw your spear.
You also have that Lightning Javelin, too.
- Oh yes, the Lightning Javelin!
Okay.
Now the Lightning Javelin,
the reach is only five feet, though.
- Oh, but you can throw it in a line.
So you can hit 60 feet in a line with it, if you want to.
- How do you get it back?
Can Princess rip it out and throw it?
- You only would use it one time, anyways.
- Yeah, it's a one-time thing, yeah, yeah.
And you can try to find it and recover it after the battle,
but that big lightning effect is a one-time thing, yeah.
- Got it, I didn't know that.
- So I can't Lightning Javelin, and also do a longbow?
I can, right?
Attack, two strikes.
- [Brennan] You can, because you're Action Surging this,
so you can do two things this round.
- Okay, so I'm going to do,
I want to do an Arcane Shot
to Miss Thing up here. - Okay.
- And then I want to Lightning Javelin cousin KeeKee.
- Hell yes, here's what we're gonna do.
- [Bob] Is that enough distance to get KeeKee?
- Oh, that is a really optimal thing for you to do,
because if you Lightning Javelin,
you don't just hit KeeKee, you hit Morgan too,
because they're occupying the same square right now.
Yeah, 120 feet, that's the range on Lightning Javelin.
Absolutely can do it, cool.
So what you're gonna do right now
is you're actually gonna
make a ranged weapon attack, plus 11.
Do you think you're aiming
more for KeeKee, or more for Morgan?
- More for KeeKee.
- Okay, go ahead and give me
the attack roll for KeeKee, add 11 to it.
- Attack roll, add 11 to this attack roll?
- Yeah-huh. - With a D20?
- Yeah-huh.
- And also my Lightning Javelin says I get one D6 plus-
- Yeah, so basically it's both.
It's both a lightning spell, and javelin.
So what you're trying to resist,
they'll get hit with the lightning either way.
This is seeing if you also can actually plunge,
yes pierce, absolutely.
- So I need to get an 11,
I'm getting plus 11 whatever this is.
- Yes, and you need to beat her armor class.
- 14!
- Woo, you absolutely.
So all of you watch, it's like the whole place
is just a flash of white
as Troyánn lets loose this lightning bolt.
- So what happened is I take the javelin
out of my little Batman belt holster thing,
and I know he's a little more in the future, but you know,
you know it's coming.
And so I go there, and I go around.
- I mean, Mark Ronson is here,
so I guess it's kinda- - True.
And I spin around, and then I get on one knee,
'cause I wanna get the perfect shot between the legs.
I take the javelin, I imbue it with the lightning,
and it throw it right through the Rock's legs,
through the column, and I strike KeeKee
right in her left breast.
- Ooh, right in the titty. - Specific.
- Hell yeah! - Are they silicone, or is it?
- No, they're real, honey.
- Oh, we're hitting DNA. - Yeah.
But I just barely miss the areola.
- [Bob] Woo!
- Unbelievable.
So, what I'm gonna need you to do for me is to roll,
you're gonna roll four D6.
That's just for the lightning damage.
- You get to roll 46 times, 46?
- Oh sorry, four- - I'm just kidding.
I'm trolling, I apologize.
(Brennan laughs)
- Four. - Okay, four?
- She's a witch and a troll.
- I had a Red Bull, I'm out of control.
- Two.
- Okay, a six? - [Jujubee] A troll. (chuckles)
- Four, 10.
- [Brennan] 10, yep.
- And this one is a two, 12.
- So they take 12 just from the lightning damage alone,
and now I want you to roll one D6 plus six
for the piercing damage against Keena.
- Come on, three, nine.
- Ooh, baby!
All right, so you see just lightning
tear across the battlefield.
Keena (screams).
(Monét babbling)
Morgan has now been burnt and electrocuted
in the past 12 seconds of combat, and that's-
- Wait is it Morgan, or KeeKee?
- Well, the lightning hit both of them.
- That's right!
- [Brennan] KeeKee gets the-
- Oh my god, but her kinky ass
is probably still liking that shit.
She probably over there just fucking,
lactating at this point.
(Brennan laughs)
I think that's how lactation works now.
- I'll also say this,
technically the way the Lightning Javelin works
is you can affect Alacranos with it too if you want,
but I leave it up to you
whether you want to have him get electrocuted or not.
- I do not want to hit him.
- With all of us there?
I don't know about that.
- And Monét's right there with him.
- [Brennan] Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
- I think he'll turn around and tear me up with that pincer,
although that pincer's kinda sexy, that little stinger.
(Brennan laughs)
- It's giving.
- Incredible.
- And now I want, and then so as I-
- [Brennan] That's just half your turn.
- So as I threw the javelin,
I did a little front,
a Miz Cracker little front somersault roll thing,
and I got back on my knee,
and then I take out my longbow,
and I'm pulling it to aim up at Kerwyn,
and can I do two grasping arrows?
Can I get two, it's two arcanes, right?
- You can only do one Arcane Shot per turn,
so you have one left for next turn,
but you can attack twice.
Every time you attack with your bow,
you actually attack twice.
Only one of them can be a magical shot, though.
- Okay, so I take the first one,
just a regular bow throw, and I throw the bow at him.
- Okay cool, give me the attack roll?
- You just throw the whole bow, not the arrow?
You throw the bow at him?
- I'm sorry, I'm pulling back the arrow.
- Take the bow and throw it at him.
- And I rolled a seven.
- Plus 11 with the magic bow. - Plus 11, 18.
- That still hits.
Go ahead and give me, yeah.
- Ka-chow, and he sits back, ugh.
And then I do my grasping arrow.
- [Brennan] Yeah, go ahead and roll.
- Which is a dangerous magic arrow,
restraining and poisoning Kerwyn.
- Does poisoning mean he has residual damage or something?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
and it partially restrains him, as well.
- Purr. - Oh, she's held.
- Fuck, it was almost a fuckin' 20, but it's an eight.
- Eight plus 11 is still 19, that still hits.
- This one goes right to his knee.
- You're gonna roll two eight-sided die,
two six-sided die, and then add 12.
- Two. - Whoa.
- Two do eights, and two, two do eight-
- Two D8 and two D6, and then you're gonna add 12.
- Two do?
- Two D8.
- Toodly doot do, scattin'.
- Is that a one or a seven?
- You play DnD all day,
you start scattin' by the end of the day, every time.
(Bob scatting)
MC Skat Kat appears over on that.
- [Bob] What do you have, Monét?
- I can't tell if it's a one or a seven.
- That's a one, one. - Goddamn it.
- Wait, what was it again? - A one.
- It's a one, okay.
- A nat one.
- [Brennan] Roll the second one, roll the second one.
- You got some, she rolls one nat 20,
now she the fuck, she's the belle of the die.
(all laughing)
The doll of the dice over there.
- Never forget, honey, never!
- Princess Die.
- Four. - Four, okay that's five.
Now roll two six-sided die.
- Five! - Yes.
- Okay, there we go.
- Three, eight.
- So that's eight, and what'd you roll on the D8s?
- Five.
- So five and eight is 13, plus 12,
that's 25 points of damage to Kerwyn.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, Princess, you look around and you see Kerwyn says,
"There's nobody in the world who's got your back," (grunts)
and Troyánn's arrows, bam, bam!
The knee, the side,
and you see these venomous green poison vines like sea kelp
wrap around him, and drag him down to one knee.
You can see like The Hulk, his muscles getting larger
as he gets more angry,
as he's trying to pull against these grasping vines.
- And don't forget,
the barnacles are now growing on his knees.
Remember the barnacles.
(Brennan roars)
- You see, yeah, small little crustaceans.
That is Troyánn's turn.
Gertrude, that's you.
- Okay, can she see him?
- If you, yeah, if you step back.
You'd have to move back to get a line of sight on him, yes.
- So I'm gonna, can you move me back a little bit?
- How, why don't you go forward, though?
- Because I can't see him unless I go backwards.
- [Monét] But if you go forward, you can see him from there.
- Then I'm underneath this big thing,
and I can't be close to stuff.
- Oh right, right, right, right, right.
- Actually yeah, that is true.
If you stepped to the edge, like just 10 feet forward,
you'd be able to cast a spell,
and have movement left after you cast to move back.
- Okay, oh yeah okay, 'cause I can do 30,
and it's not necessarily in one direction.
- It's not just in one direction.
You can split it up. - Great band, though.
If they're watching.
- 30? - One Direction.
- Oh.
- Jesus Christ.
So, 10 forward, then one back.
Shout out to Paula Abdul.
(Brennan laughs)
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
- [Brennan] Great.
- Wait, so I can kinda see him from the ledge now?
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm. - [Monét] Yeah.
- Okay, so he's really close to us,
they're still over there,
even though I do have a,
no I probably, I don't know if I can see them.
So I'm gonna focus on him right now.
I am going to, okay I have,
I have Thunder Wave.
A lightning and thunder bursts from you in all directions,
and it scatters nearby enemies.
Only the enemies, right?
- Yes, so Thunder Wave won't be able to hit him,
'cause it's centered on you.
- He's above me. - He's above you, yes.
He's too far away.
- So I have to do something directional.
- I would say, yeah.
The things you have that can reach him
would be Eldritch Blast, Scorching Ray,
Fireball would hit him.
- Does Fireball hit my friends too, or just the enemies?
- It hits your, oh, you have a meta magic ability
called Careful Spell.
- That's right.
- Which means that you can protect your,
you can spend a sorcery point,
that you haven't spent any of yet,
to protect your friends from your spells.
- So part of me feels like I should save it.
Oh, wait.
I was talking about doing Fireball
when they're near each other.
- You should do those two. - And they're near each other.
- [Brennan] They are near each other right now.
- And this is a strong one, y'all.
- [Monét] Okay.
- Fireball I think it's like my Kameyame.
- Yeah, yes, yes, yes. - You mean your Kamehameha.
- Yeah, Kamehameha, I'm sorry, yes.
(Monét laughs) So I'm going to-
- Kameyame.
- Sorry, so I'm going to mark off
one of my little things here.
I only have two of these.
So I'm gonna use Fireball. - Hell yeah.
- I'm aiming it at these two.
- Work.
- Yeah, Fireball's no joke.
You're gonna deal eight D6 fire damage.
Eight six-sided die. - Oh shit.
- You wanna borrow some for a sec?
- You wanna borrow ours, can we-
- Yeah, you wanna pool together?
We call this "sending your kids to camp."
Everyone send your six-sided dice over to Bob.
- [Jujubee] Here you go, sis. - Here you go, baby.
- Here you go, darling.
How many more do you need?
- I have four, I need-
- Here, is this one more here?
- I can give you my old one. - Original one.
- Here's my old one, sis. - Yeah, I have another.
- Don't use Brennan's little shady die.
(Brennan laughs)
- [Bob] Okay I got it, I got it, I got six.
- You got it. - No, you need eight.
- You need eight. - Eight, girl.
- Oh, eight.
And I have one more here for myself.
Yeah, keep your die over there.
(Brennan laughs)
We saw how that worked out last time.
Yep, the devil die.
- Devil die.
- All right, that's two, four, I have eight, okay.
So I just roll these now?
- You roll those, you add 'em all together.
- Oh, let's see how she is.
- [Bob] What if it's all sixes?
- Fireball. - Should we say six?
- Six, oh, oh.
Not three of 'em.
Six, six, six.
- Six. - Satanic.
- One, two, three, - [Queens] Six!
- Okay, I have a, oh god.
Okay, I have a three. - [Monét] Uh-huh.
- A one. - [Brennan] Four.
- A one. - [Brennan] Five.
- A five. - [Brennan] 10.
- A five. - [Brennan] 15.
- A three. - [Brennan] 18.
- A two. - [Brennan] 20.
- And a one. - 21 points of fire damage.
On a seven and a four,
they both fail their saving throws and take full damage.
21 damage to Morgan and Keena.
As you see Morgan and Keena flying up,
Gertrude, what does it look like
as you use your mightiest spell on them?
- Okay, so Gertrude,
this is a place that she does not like to go.
She likes to be in control, she doesn't drink,
she doesn't even do anything wild,
but this one kinda takes over her body a little bit,
so she closes her eyes,
and then as she closes her eyes,
you can just see in her pores, in her lips, in her ears,
just the heat starts to come out.
It comes out of her pores, her skin,
and then she finally opens her mouth
and it all just kind of gathers in front of her face,
and then it just fuckin', at lightning speed,
it flies over, and hits her.
- What starts so small, as it gathers and gets close,
an explosion, think about an explosion
that fuckin' size, to scale, pchow!
- Work.
- As Morgan rises, she tries her best
to wrap her wings around Keena,
and you hear (screams) as they scream,
both of them come out of it, with her still flying,
but you see just blood pouring out of scorched noses.
Both of them, you can tell,
have moved beneath half their hit points.
(Monét clapping)
Hell yes.
That is Gertrude's turn.
You move to step away from the ledge, smart call.
- Did I- - Yes.
- Did I scoot back?
- Yeah, if you wanna scoot back, go for it.
- Scoot me back.
- KeeKee much be much stronger than me,
'cause I'm 49, and she's taken 41 damage
and she's just below half?
She's like double my, almost double-
- She's doing deals with the devil, honey.
- They're strong ass hoes.
- Princess, that is going to be your turn.
- Okay.
Well, can I fuckin',
can I attack him and do a pushing attack?
- Holy shit, yeah, you absolutely can.
- Awesome, and am I raging still?
- You are raging still,
which means that this actually,
you can bonus action Frenzy
and attack three times this turn, if you would like.
- I would like to do that, please.
(all laughing)
- Hell yes.
Okay, you can only pushing attack on one attack per round,
so let's just start rolling these attacks
and see how many times you hit.
So go ahead and roll your D20.
We're gonna make three attacks in a row.
- Let me return everyone's die.
I don't know whose came-
- Also, I will point out this too.
You also have an ability
that you could use here called Reckless Attack.
That means you would roll
every one of your attacks with advantage,
but enemies would have advantage on you when they attack.
So basically, you hit harder,
but also you're not protecting yourself as much.
If you wanna go reckless here, you can.
- I don't know, you're only at 36.
- I'm weakened right now.
- Okay. - I'm weakened.
- [Brennan] Go for it, let's go ahead and roll.
- Not The Weeknd.
♪ I need ♪ - 19.
Do I add anything to that?
- Yeah, you're gonna add plus.
I believe you add plus nine every time,
so that's a 28.
You hit on your first attack.
Go ahead and roll again. - 28 on the first attack?
- Oh, work. - 28 on the first attack.
- Damn, bitch!
- [Brennan] Here we go.
- Nine.
- Nine plus nine.
- 18. - Still hits.
- Okay, werk, it's a hit.
12.
- 12 plus nine, 21, hits as well.
You hit all three times.
- You, that's like almost 60.
- So, let's go ahead and start to roll damage.
You are going to be dealing,
each time you hit with your greataxe,
it is one D12 plus eight.
- Oh shit!
- So go ahead, take your D12, which is this-
- D12.
- It's that one actually closest to you.
That one is your D12.
You're gonna roll that three times,
and add eight every time.
- Whoa. - Oh shit, okay.
Nine.
- Nine plus eight? - Yeah.
- 17. - 17 damage, unreal.
- Come on, Lasky.
- One.
- One, that's still plus eight, so nine damage.
- Okay, 12 baby, 12!
- Seven.
- Seven plus eight. - 15.
- Is 15.
Kerwyn looks badly hurt.
Go ahead and describe it.
What does it look like
as you just lay these blows down on Kerwyn?
- She turns around, I'm gonna turn her around,
'cause she wants to look at this motherfucker in the face.
And before she hits him,
she says, "Merry Christmas, motherfucker."
(all laughing)
- And a happy New Year.
(ax thudding)
- It's mid-March.
(all laughing)
- She uses confusion attack.
- We never really talked about how Princess is doing.
(all laughing)
Incredible, and I actually forgot here,
you're also making a pushing attack,
so Kerwyn's looking very, very injured,
but you're actually gonna add even more damage.
Go ahead and roll one D6 for me.
You automatically do that extra damage with-
- [Bob] Your D6, I think that I've got it.
- No, no, no, I got it.
I put both of those back.
- Like a D6, okay.
One, but it was a beautiful one.
- But it was a beautiful one,
and now he has to make a strength saving throw.
He adds seven to this.
- How much did we hit him now?
- Like, 70 points of damage.
You've dealt a crazy amount of damage to him.
But, here's the deal.
A pushing attack, if he fails his strength saving throw,
you push him 15 feet in any direction.
So, he's very dangerous, but he's badly injured.
Even if he's still up,
you've done a tremendous amount of damage to him,
but there's a possibility
that this is the end of the line for him.
So, he adds a seven to his strength saving throw.
He adds a seven to his strength saving throw,
but, ooh.
Your difficulty is very high, you're incredibly strong,
so he needs a nine or higher on the die to save.
- What die is that?
- D20. - Got it.
- D20, so the odds are he'll save,
but there's a lot,
it's very easy to roll a one through an eight.
Let's see if Uncle Kerwyn falls right now.
(die rattles) - Four.
- That is a seven. - Yes!
- Oh my god!
Alaska, Kerwyn, having stood over you saying you had no one,
that's not true.
You have all of the spirits of your family,
and more than that, you have these, your friends.
Describe for me what happens as you push Kerwyn
wherever you want on the map.
- As she's beating him, she looks in his eyes and she says,
"And a happy New Year."
(all laughing)
And she pushes him.
Ah, do we wanna go that way, or that way, girls?
- We should go that way. - No, away from us.
- Yeah, we see him. - Okay, that way?
- Yeah, over there. - No, this way.
- No Jujubee, this way. - Jujubee, away from us.
- Twyla, yes.
- Okay, so she'll push him- - Why toward us?
- Wait, doesn't he just go into the abyss?
- He goes, well and by the way, I want to point out.
This is not like a little tumble.
Princess pushes him 15 feet.
You can send him beyond where he can even reach a ledge.
You can send him into the middle of that open expanse.
- I think that sounds right.
That sounds cute.
- Incredible.
Kerwyn, again, so close.
One Foehammer away.
He sold his entire family to the Underworld
for a shot at ruling, and he, no, no, ah!
And begins to fall, looking up,
his rage dissipating into crass, small fear,
as the shadows of those that he sent here
come back to welcome him into the abyss.
(Monét screeches)
- [Bob] Two down! - Two down, honey.
- Two down, baby.
Incredible!
Yeah, give it up for Princess!
(all applauding) - Yes!
- [Brennan] We did it, baby, we did it, incredible.
Well, Alacranos is gonna turn here.
Now, he's not gonna-
- [Bob] We're all he has to focus on now.
- Yeah, he's not gonna focus on you,
'cause you didn't hit him with that Lightning Javelin,
so he's gonna throw another tail attack up at Princess.
He misses on that tail attack,
so Princess you (grunts) hit him,
and your barbarian senses duck in the nick of time
as a huge stinger sails right where your head was,
and then he's gonna make two attacks on Troy-(gasp)
It's a nat 20. - Two?
- Stop it! - On Troyánn.
- Two nat 20s? - Just one.
But he hits on one of his attacks,
and the other is a nat 20.
Okay.
- Well how do you, what do you have, how many-
- [Monét] Now I have 25, and I had-
- Now wait, does that mean Monét takes 20 points?
- [Brennan] No, no, no, it means he deals double damage.
- So how much points do you have right now?
- I have 45.
- 45, oh my god.
Y'all are damaging yourself.
I have 32 points.
I start with 32 points.
- I think I have like, 11 or something.
- I know, we need to heal-
- [Brennan] He hits you first for nine.
- Can I- - For nine.
- Can I, okay wait, wait, wait.
I can shield.
- [Brennan] Unfortunately, shield only is for you.
That's such a sad, but I love, actually, fuck that.
I don't want that rule to be true right now.
- When do I say something?
- I don't want that rule to be true right now.
If you give me an arcana check of 15,
I'll let you change the rules of the game.
- Oh, shit! - Wow.
- Give me arcana, if you can beat a 15,
you can throw a shield. - Come on, arcana.
I need...
(dramatic music)
- It's a six.
- What do you add to arcana?
- [Bob] Plus seven, what's six plus seven?
- 13. - 13.
- Just shy, it's okay, I tried.
- You tried.
So Troyánn, you feel like a protective shield from Gertrude
as she attempts to wrap you
in abjuring magic to keep you safe.
- Like Invisagirl.
But she's not strong enough, so that shit just faded away.
(Brennan laughs)
- I'm strong enough, my aim was a little off. - Okay.
My aim was a little off.
- You are hit first for nine,
and then the critical hit deals 24 points of damage,
so you take 33 points of damage altogether.
- Okay, you need to heal yourself.
- You need to heal, Mary.
- You have that, don't you have that potion?
- Can I heal right?
I have to wait 'til my turn to heal.
- You have to wait 'til your turn to heal.
- One more hit, and it's a wrap, I'm done.
- Does healing take a whole ass turn?
- Healing takes an action, yeah, yeah.
- I have 12 points left.
- Okay.
- Welcome to my life.
(Monét laughs)
- So, let's see.
She has 80 feet of movement.
- [Bob] Who has 80 feet of movement?
- [Brennan] Morgan.
- [Bob] Oh god.
- [Monét] She's gonna bring you up that hole.
- [Bob] 80 feet, is that like a dash?
- That's a dash, so she's using her action.
She's using her action, which sucks,
'cause she has a lot of spells and shit she can do,
but you see Morgan is going to fly up over this way.
- So what about her?
- Leave her down there.
- You see Morgan drops Keena right here, on top of it.
Seeing the scorpion bear down on you,
Keena looks down and says,
"Nice spell, cuz. I'm going to enjoy this,"
and leaps (whooshing).
And is gonna take her attacks.
- Oh my god, I'm gonna die, guys!
- Wait, just keep, just keep your head up.
- Should we start praying?
- How many hit points do you have left?
- 12.
- You have 12 hit points left.
- What the fuck?
You can't kill Troyánn at this stage in the fuckin' show.
- You came to the Underworld.
- We're making content here!
There has to be some arc.
- I have done nothing but sacrificed everything I have.
I fought these-
- Not you're Angela Bassett in-
- In "Wakanda Forever."
My entire family!
- I have sacrificed everything!
(all laughing) (haunting music)
- Keena's gonna make her attacks.
- No! - First attack.
- I can't look.
- First attack.
(Bob yelps) She got three.
First attack, a miss.
- Okay. - Oh my god.
- Yeah, something is amiss.
That's for goddamn sure.
- Second attack.
(tense music)
Is a natural one.
- Oh god, Brennan you better speak faster, bitch.
- Yeah, speak up, speed up the speech, buddy.
- You know what? - Thank god.
- This is huge right here.
So, we're gonna roll Box of Doom.
- That's low, that's the best trick, natural one.
(all laughing)
I'll use that one.
- You guys are spotting all my tricks.
So, last one, she needs nines or higher
to hit you on the die.
- Okay.
- She's missed twice, so she's due some luck,
but eight or lower, and it's a miss.
She'll have missed all three of her attacks on you.
(die rattles)
16 hits.
Now we're gonna roll damage.
- This is gonna-
- Yeah, this is telling me how much it's gonna be.
So, so, so, so, the Rock is in front of me,
and then I see KeeKee, she's spinning that thing.
She wings the first one,
I go to the left, she goes to the right.
Then she spins this again.
I go to the right, she goes to the left,
and I'm doing a back roll.
- She's gonna meet you in the middle.
(Bob laughs)
- She adds plus four to this,
so it's possible you'll still be up if she rolls low.
She's rolling two D6 plus four.
You have 12 hit points left.
She could knock you unconscious.
If she does enough damage to knock you to zero hit points,
you do not die right away.
You fall to unconsciousness,
and you start to make death saving throws.
We're gonna see how much damage she does.
She deals 14 points of damage.
- And I had 12. - She only had 12.
- [Bob] Golly.
- So then- - [Bob] Not Troyánn!
- She does the throw, I do a back somersault into a split,
and she gets me right in the pussy.
(record scratches, music stops) (Brennan laughs)
- Right in the, right in the cycle of life.
- She got me right there.
(dramatic music resumes)
- She, you see, even Keena goes, oh!
As she, 'cause I thought you were going left.
(all laughing)
And Keena leaps down to Troyánn.
- [Bob] Not the leaping!
- [Brennan] Troyánn falls, zero hit points.
- With a pained vagina.
- I cannot believe this.
- Can we, okay.
How can we help her?
- Can I, when is it my turn?
- So now, Morgan and Keena have gone.
That's the end of the round.
Twyla, it's you once again.
- Can you help her?
- Okay, so I- - So she's still here.
- Yes. - [Brennan] Yes.
- I thought that I was gonna use my turn to cure myself,
but I don't have that power, actually.
I only have the power to heal the wounds of my allies.
- You can, yeah, you can heal whoever you want.
- Okay, I'm gonna heal you. - Okay, thank you.
Okay, thank you. - I have to heal her.
- If you have the spell slots left.
You used three, and let me double check.
You have four first level spell slots.
You have one spell slot left to do Cure Wounds,
and you can absolutely do it to Troyánn right now.
- I think I am gonna, I have to.
Let's do it, sis.
I'm curing you, sis.
- Thank you, sis.
How much does she cure me?
I have to roll for that, probably.
- Roll one D8 and add four.
- Okay, this is a D8 right here, right?
- [Monét] The diamond?
♪ Like diamonds in the sky ♪
♪ Shine bright like a diamond ♪
- Troyánn?
This one's for you, bitch. - Thank you, baby.
(Brennan gasps)
What?
- Eight. - Ah!
- Yes! - 12 hit points restored.
- I'm back to where I was at, girl.
♪ This is the circle of life ♪
- The circle of life is an oval.
(Monét laughs) - Incredible.
So, Twyla, sacrificing one of your greatest resources,
which is distance and flight,
'cause this is a touch range spell.
You have to touch the person to do it.
Describe your magic
as you bring Troyánn back from the brink of death.
- So I do this thing that I learned in dance school
where I just go like this,
and I just, you know, I just kinda do little circles,
and then I do a little plié,
and then I jump up into the sky,
and then I said, "Sis, I got you."
- (whooshes) Fairy light, you smell jasmine.
(chimes tinkling)
Incredible, and also,
because you still have concentration on it, Cat Tree can go.
So what do you want Cat Tree to do?
- Oh. - Buddy Bear.
- Okay, Buddy Bear.
Who- - [Monét] Fucking-
- Well, maybe Cat Tree can distract the scorpion thing.
- Distract, we wanna kill KeeKee.
- Can Buddy Bear move, and then like-
- Yeah, Buddy Bear can do the same thing
that regular people can do.
- Can I just say, this scorpion seems to be
just attacking who's either nearby, or who's upset him.
- Yeah, we need to just get away from the scorpion.
- [Jujubee] Right.
- [Bob] He's just in the thick of it all. - Or get him away from us.
- And the one that we're really gunning after right now
is Morgan, right?
'Cause that's the only-
- Well, lil mama KeeKee is right down there.
- Oh, I can't even see KeeKee.
- Stand up, girl, get in there.
- [Brennan] KeeKee's on the other side
of the scorpion right here.
- I can't even stand up, actually.
- She's right in front of Monét, and Monét is weak.
- You and I are like, right at her.
- And KeeKee is over halfway dead.
She is close to Monét, who is a quarter dead.
- Okay.
All right, let's see.
- We need to get these hoes out of,
can the cat taunt the scorpion or something?
- I can grapple.
I can grapple one of them, right?
- Yeah, so the cat can definitely,
with this elevated platform here,
the cat can definitely make the leap to that platform.
It could go there, it could try to distract the scorpion,
it could try to grapple the scorpion,
it could grapple, or even attack Keena.
Totally up to you.
- I think there's something in the way, 'cause I-
- [Monét] There's nothing in the way. - There's nothing in the way?
I'd ideally knock Keena off,
because there is a push, I can shove.
- I'm in the way, I'm in front of her.
- [Jujubee] But then that would knock you off.
- Unfortunately, Keena is one step removed from the edge,
so a shove would only get her part of the way,
but you could damage her, if you wanted to.
You could just have Cat Tree attack, claw-
- How damaged is she right now?
- She's more than half.
- [Bob] She's more than halfway done.
- She's bleeding, she's a little bloody.
- [Bob] She has 42 damage. - Yeah, hit her.
- [Bob] 42 is over half of her damage.
- Because after you, I get to go, 'cause Kerwyn is dead,
so I get to go after Kerwyn, and I'm gonna,
and KeeKee still has a javelin that's I sent her,
stuck right in the left titty.
I'm about to pull that shit out and get her ass.
- Just wiggle it, wiggle it. - Wait a minute.
Can Buddy Bear cast a spell?
- Buddy Bear does not have any spells, he is a spell.
So he doesn't have any magic of his own,
so he can attack,
and he would actually have it,
because he'd be next to you,
he'd have advantage on the attack.
- Which means it would be stronger,
and I could roll twice, twice right?
- You could roll twice and take the better roll, absolutely.
- Okay, so I think we should, uh, fuck.
Grapple, attack?
- I would say attack.
- Which one is the stronger one?
Or you don't know?
- He would deal one D8 plus six.
He would attack at a plus seven attack bonus.
So he's pretty tough.
But he could also try to grapple, or knock her prone
so that Troyánn had advantage on her attacks, as well.
- Now Troyánn, what do you think?
'Cause you're pretty beat right now, right?
- During my turn, this is gonna be,
so I can only attack once during my turn
'cause I get do it twice,
I'm gonna use my potion to heal,
and then attack, so.
- Okay, let me do the attack with advantage.
I think that's the smartest roll.
- [Monét] Good, good, good.
- Go ahead and roll two D20.
So yeah, roll your D20 twice.
- Okay.
You know what?
Why not do this one?
Is this a D20 as well?
Can I do both?
- Yeah, and then you just pick the higher one,
yeah absolutely.
(dice rattle)
- Five.
- Is the higher one? - It's a three and a five.
- Five is the higher one?
Okay, Cat Tree leaps forward (yowls) and Keena (whooshes)
surrounds herself with this spiral of chain,
and shields herself from the claws of the cat.
That is Cat Tree's turn.
Twyla, you have healed her, Kerwyn's dead.
Troyánn, it comes to you.
To clarify, your Action Surge is used up.
You made the javelin and attacks the other round,
so you have to choose between trying to finish Keena off,
or taking that potion.
You can't do both in the same round.
(dramatic music)
- [Jujubee] Keena can hurt you, sis.
- Yeah, I need to heal.
I need to heal.
- But could she, isn't Keena gonna do it
right after you, though?
- It's a balance between how much you think you can heal,
versus how much damage you think Keena will do on her turn.
- Keena's just, she girl, she is, the beat goes on with her.
No matter how much we hit this hoe, she just doesn't-
- So, we each have turns before her.
- Yeah, but I don't know, can you?
Oh yeah, you can see her.
- Yeah, just so you all know what I'm planning on doing,
because they are all very close now.
What I was gonna probably do was go over there
and Thunder Wave, and scatter these people,
'cause they are near each other,
so I was planning on going over there and being like, psh.
- [Monét] So I'll heal.
- I don't know, she's in the air.
I don't know if it's gonna, does it affect her?
- Fireball those hoes.
- I'll heal, I think I have to heal.
I'm gonna heal.
- Cool, go ahead and four D4 plus four.
- Four D4s, plus a four.
The D4, they would.
This tiny little, shady little die.
(Brennan laughs)
(Monét yelps) - Four.
- Four, great.
Three more times.
- Two. - Okay.
- With nails, the D4 is really special.
- Truly.
Four. - Okay, that's 10 so far.
- You're killing it.
- [Bob] Oh I get it, the number at the top.
- Two.
- Two, that's 12 plus four is 16.
You heal another 16. - Wait, oh plus four, okay.
So I go up 16.
- [Brennan] So 16, so now you're at 28,
which is way better than you were a moment ago.
- That's how old I am.
- Gertrude, that's gonna be your turn.
- Yeah, 28 year old Gertrude.
(Monét laughs)
- Okay.
So, will Thunder Wave hit her, or is she too high?
- She's too high, so it's only gonna be people
right next to you.
And you have to get over to that other platform.
- Oh yeah, that's right.
And I don't have a lot of jumping power.
She's not known for her leaping prowess.
So when I, okay, here's what I have.
♪ La la la la la la la la ♪
Okay, okay.
I have a Counterspell, which I want to save
'cause I feel like if she does something wild to me,
I'm gonna need that Counterspell,
so that's why I don't wanna use Fireball.
Cause if I use Fireball, then I cannot use Counterspell again.
- Werk.
- I still have Thunder Wave.
- You also do have Scorching Ray.
You can cast Scorching Ray
with your second level spell slots.
You can cast, as long as you have available spell slots,
you can cast that spell over and over again if you want.
- Oh, fierce, okay.
She's right near in front of you.
Are her chains protecting her still?
- Yes, it looks like her chains are protecting her,
but she is still wounded.
It's not impossible to hit her.
- Yeah, we got her in a good spot.
- Yeah, try to get her.
Polish her off. - We should just go in for the fucking kill, all right.
I wanna get a better shot, so I am gonna scoot over.
- Hell yeah. - Here.
I can see her even better. - Cool.
- Let me just turn you around,
'cause right now, you're just staring at the wall.
- Sorry, I'm not wearing my glasses.
I can also avoid hitting the scorpion.
- [Brennan] Yeah. - Yeah.
- Good idea. - And I'm going to use
Scorching Ray. - [Brennan] Cool.
- Obsessed with that name.
Scorching Ray, I'm gonna do a little dot.
I have now used two of those.
- And you're gonna make three attacks.
- Three attacks, and this is with-
- D20. - D20.
- [Brennan] And you're adding a nine each time.
- Roll three of these plus nine.
- And you're attacking who?
- [Monét] KeeKee. - KeeKee, cool.
Go ahead and roll.
- KeeKee wanna kaikai.
- That is a nine.
- Nine plus nine is 18, that hits.
- This is a 14.
- Yes! - That hits.
- And this one is a five.
- Five plus nine is 14, that does not hit.
- [Bob] Okay, got two hits. - Go ahead.
Roll four six-sided die.
- Four six-sided die. - Do you need some children?
- Yeah, let me get two kids.
I need one more kid.
All right, here we go.
Wait no, I have to take a lot.
Okay there we go, I got it.
(dice rattle)
I got a six.
- Yes.
- A five. - 11.
- Four. - And two ones.
- Shit! - [Brennan] Okay.
- 13.
- Fire streaks from Gertrude's hands.
Keena is hit, gah, stumbles back.
You see the fear of death in her eyes.
She is close.
She is on death's door.
- [Bob] How much damage did I do to her?
- [Brennan] You just did 13 damage to her.
- 13, that's- - How much is she at?
- She's at 55.
- She has probably 60, maybe.
- Well, she's not lookin' good.
And now you can get the final blow.
- Princess, that's gonna be you.
- No, Princess, if you can do it.
- Do you want me to, or do you want to?
'Cause maybe I can punch this guy.
- Oh yeah, I mean.
- I'm not gonna presume her gender.
- Their.
- Can I punch someone who's flying?
- Well, I think that she has another move.
Okay, I think you have to get over there,
and she has another move before Monét has a move.
Is that correct?
- Yes, so Morgan is,
so coming up next, before, so at Princess,
all of your enemies are going to go after your turn.
So, every one of your foes has a turn,
and then you will all act again.
- We should get KeeKee, because there's a possibility for,
I'm sorry, to knock her out,
so we'll have less foes.
- Yeah. - I think.
- Okay.
- Does that make sense, or am I not playing this game right?
- No, no, I think, I don't think any of us
know what we're doing.
- Yeah. - You're doing great.
- I have no idea what I'm doing, ladies.
- So I think, yeah. - [Monét] We take KeeKee out.
- Well, can you get to KeeKee?
I mean, you're almost over there.
- Yeah, how's she gonna get down?
- [Bob] She moves like, 60.
- Oh yeah, she's fast.
- And she's strong, too.
So the strength is probably gonna be
something that is necessary.
- And then we can all gang up
on this fuckin' Scottish bitch.
- Morgan.
- Morgan, yes, absolutely.
- If I can attack KeeKee, then yeah, I'd like to do that.
- Hell yeah, you can leap down right into the mix,
and make your attacks.
Go ahead, give me athletics check.
You're gonna do it with advantage.
This is just to avoid the falling damage.
- Athletiques.
- Athletiques, as they say. - [Bob] Woo, not this.
- A 14 plus eight.
- [Brennan] 22, hell yeah.
You avoid it, leap down next to Cat Tree,
or you can leap right in front of her
if you wanna do in between her and your friends here?
- [Monét] Yeah. - [Alaska] Yes.
- [Monét] Act as a shield.
- Cool, Princess?
- That's Princess's style.
- Princess's style.
You leap right there.
You can go ahead and make three attacks against Keena.
- [Jujubee] Yes. - Yeah, so she's done.
- Do I roll D20?
- [Brennan] Roll D20. - She is fucking done.
- [Bob] Not Monét got knocked out.
- I know, that was stressful.
- Seven.
- A nat seven. - Do I add something?
- You're gonna add nine to that, so that's gonna be a hit.
- [Alaska] Okay.
- 16, and that 16 just hits Keena.
That's her armor class.
- So nothing lower than that.
- Yeah, we can't get anything, no 15s.
- Two.
- [Bob] I said anything lower than that.
- Oh, oh now I get what you mean.
Oh, oh I see, okay.
Six.
- Okay, you hit once. - Dorothy, Dorothy.
Dorothy.
- Hold on one second. - Fuck, dude.
- So, I'm gonna write a number down.
- And we gotta guess the number?
- [Brennan] No, no, no.
- If we guess the right number, it hits?
- You're gonna roll one D12,
and you're going to add eight to it.
I have written down, on a piece of paper,
how many hit points Keena has left.
So roll your D12, and you tell me.
- [Bob] Just don't get a 12.
- That is a nine plus- - Eight, 17.
And she has? - 16 hit points left.
(all cheering)
Oh baby, there it is!
- Oh my gosh!
(all cheering)
- There you go!
Alaska, describe for me what happens
as you leap in between Troyánn and Keena.
- Princess jumps down into the fray.
She jumps in front of her friends to protect them,
and she raises her ax and goes, (growls)
and then she turns around to Troyánn and she's like,
"Do you want me to do this, are you sure?"
- Do it. - Okay, okay.
Ah, pbbth, right into her head.
- Boom!
(Brennan yells)
- I love that the broken English orc is just a bit she does.
She talks perfectly fine.
(all laughing)
It's just a bit she does.
- It's just a bit.
It's cover, it's cover, it's cover.
The splatter of blood
as one who had come here to hunt you down,
a traitor in your midst,
someone dedicated to this cause
of preserving this immortality of rot
at the heart of Everdeep,
Keena, cousin KK, KeeKee, boom!
Chain links slowed, as the chain is split in mid-air,
and Keena of Everdeep falls before you.
- [Monét] Yes.
- You have defeated three of your four enemies,
if you're not counting the big scorpion guy.
- Yeah, now he's just zoning in on us more
because she's up in the air, and we're all in the area.
- [Jujubee] And she, what is she doing, just watching?
- [Bob] She's just enjoying.
She's not an enemy, she's just watching us on TV.
- Just watching us on TV.
Okay, scorpion's gonna go.
That is a miss on Princess.
- [Bob] Werk.
- That is a miss on Troyánn. - Oh, thank god.
- Jesus.
- No, not the mouth cover.
Not the mouth cover.
- That is a crit on Cat Tree. - What, critical?
- Critical, nat 20, on Cat Tree.
- I thought he couldn't die.
- Oh, he can very much,
but he lives forever, he's a spell.
So, but he might be dispelled.
- Oh. - He just vanishes.
- Oh, I wanted him to live forever.
- He just vanishes, he's not dead, he just gone.
- Okay, I hope he doesn't die.
- Rains down 24 points of damage,
leaving Buddy Bear with six hit points left.
Buddy Bear is still up.
- Again, he's not dying, he just goes away.
He's not- - I know.
- Buddy Bear turns around, and with that, Alacranos is done.
Morgan is going to fly over all of you,
and unfortunately, Keena was the only thing
keeping her from going all out,
which is what she's gonna do now.
- She's about to rage on us. - She'll do some magic shit.
- Looking at all of you, she takes her hands.
The scorching power of the light of the ever-gazing sun,
and you see a cone of burning light
originate in her hand.
She is going to cast a Cone of Searing Light on all of you.
Powerful spell erupting from the tip of her spear.
She's gonna cast it on everybody.
- Including scorpion dude? - Including scorpion dude.
(Brennan sighs)
- It's got like a cone?
It's like one of those clear things?
We're gonna see what her range is on this?
Oh, that's a lot of- - Oh my god!
- I'm in the clear.
Am I in the clear?
- Yeah. - You're in the clear.
- She's gonna "Dragon Ball Z" us.
The whole earth is gonna shatter.
- [Bob] Seems upsetting.
- Okay.
- You're just so comfortable,
just watching from afar, enjoying yourself.
- I'm fighting!
- Incredible.
Okay, she is going to- - I apologize.
Seems uncomfortable.
- A tremendous amount of damage incoming from this spell.
- Not tremendous.
- I don't have a tremendous amount of health.
(Bob laughs)
So.
- Here we go.
I will ask, this time,
if there, what's that?
- I'm just waiting. - Just waiting.
(dice rattling) (tense music)
- Oh come, don't do that face.
- I'm gonna need constitution saving throws
from Twyla, Princess, and Troyánn.
- Constitution, so what's my constitution?
Ooh okay, so six.
- Check your constitution before you come for me.
- [Jujubee] And it's a D20 for that, right?
- Oh bitch, I'm good.
- What do you have?
- I have a 17 plus six.
That's 23.
- 23, okay amazing.
(ominous music)
- Seven plus two, I have a nine.
- [Brennan] Okay.
- I have a 17 plus seven?
- [Brennan] Okay.
- Twyla.
- So you both make the save.
Twyla, you do not.
33 points of radiant damage. - How many points do you have?
- I think I'm dead.
- No, you have 44 points.
- Yeah, you've taken some damage already.
- So I'm gone.
- Is she gone?
Tell us what's happening.
- Are you keeping track of your hit points?
- I think I literally only had like, 14 left.
- Wait, tell us what's going on.
- Bitch. - Tell us.
- No!
- I believe you had 16 left,
so 33 is enough to drop you to zero.
- But do you have your potion still?
- I don't have a potion.
- Do you have a Strength of the Grave?
- Twyla does not have a Strength of the Grave.
- Only you do, bitch.
- I'm going to use Counterspell.
- Ooh!
- I'm gonna cast it over there.
I can do it during her turn,
so I'm throwing casting spell.
Aren't you glad I'm over here now?
I throw casting spell.
- You just get so much, you jump on top of the cage, honey.
- I don't know if I can do that.
- You are the Storm of the Underworld.
(all laughing)
- [Brennan] Okay.
- By the powers of the Serengeti!
(Monét laughing)
- For the winds of the four corners of the Earth!
- So, it still could potentially go through.
It comes down to a die roll,
'cause she's casting a high level spell.
- [Monét] Come on, these die.
- So, you need to hit, and this is definitely Box of Doom.
You're about to, if this works,
DC for her is 15, you're adding your charisma, which is plus five.
So you need a 10 or higher on a 20-sided die.
- I thought it was plus eight.
- [Brennan] Oh no, that's your saving throw.
This is a raw charisma check.
- Drag me, plus five.
- Plus five, so you need a 10 or higher.
- 10 or higher, it's a 50/50.
- [Brennan] 50/50. - It's a 50/50.
(whisper) It's a 50/50. (tense music)
(dice rattles) - Two.
- Oh Jesus Christ.
- Well girl, you tried.
- So did I waste my counter? - Yes you did.
- I did, you know what?
We're not, all's not lost.
Let me make a little mark here.
All's not lost, all's not lost.
- Oh wait. - Yeah.
- Could I have done my Deep Bank of Concealing Fog
to cover us so that the swing might've missed?
(tense music starts playing)
- I'll say this, if you want to
forestall your next turn to aid in a little bit of magic,
I'll allow one re-roll.
Does that seem worth it to you?
- So then I won't be able to attack next round?
- [Brennan] You won't be able to attack next round, but-
- You're offering help,
but I can save all of you from this hit.
- Yeah, let's do it.
- [Bob] How much damage is this hit doing to everyone?
- It missed us. - 33.
- [Bob] Oh, it's just her.
- Well, it deals half damage to you still,
so it's still 16 to each of you.
- But if he counters, it misses us completely.
- Misses you completely.
- Okay, okay. - [Monét] Give it a try.
Come on, Gertie.
- [Brennan] Here's a re-roll. - Okay, touch them.
Touch it, touch it, touch it,
touch it, touch it.
- [Monét] Come on, Gertie.
- Touch it, touch it, touch it, touch it!
What is it? - Nat 20!
(all cheering)
- Oh my god.
(Jujubee screaming)
- I'm so sorry, that was so bro of me.
(Jujubee screams)
- I'm gonna say, with the power of that,
you see, as this Counterspell goes up,
the anxiety, you can feel it creeping back in.
Mist from the ocean, Troyánn looking across,
thinking of the journey all the way to Greeley,
to the Underworld, to Hollowgrave,
here to the heart of death itself, whoosh!
On a nat 20, not only is all that damage prevented,
Morgan takes half the damage of the spell herself.
- [Monét] Yas!
- Okay, so in this moment, Gertrude sees the spell
and it's almost like everything moving in
(slowed down) slow motion.
And then she takes her hand like this,
and she takes a hand like this,
and she goes, I saw someone else do this,
and it worked for them.
And she balls her hands up,
and she goes, "Ma ma se, ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa,
ma ma se, ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa,
ma ma se, ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa,"
and tries to intercept the spell, and it works.
And then it blasts back, and it hits this bitch.
- Yeah.
- With just that, you see (yells)
the light scorching over her own face.
She looks horrified, she looks back at death's door.
- How much damage did we just do to her?
- She just took 16 damage herself,
and again, this is not happening on Gertrude's turn.
This is something you did on her turn,
so her turn, not only does the spell not work,
her turn's over.
- Werk. - [Brennan] That's all she does.
- Yes. - She's up to 58 damage now.
- So now Twyla, Princess- - Twyla, that is you.
It is your turn, once again.
- Thanks for the re-roll.
- Okay, Twyla.
- I'm sorry, I love the four drag queens
trying to touch hands.
We were like, but don't do my nails.
(Bob laughs)
- Okay, where am I?
- [Bob] You're right here in front of the rock.
- But, three of your four foes are dead,
and Morgan looks incredibly wounded.
- Okay. - Do you need to go up there on her level?
- Can you magic attack her? - [Jujubee] I-
- [Bob] You should go up to her level too, I think.
- Yeah. - Yeah, I can fly up.
I can move up to 30 feet, and fly up,
and then there is- - I'm moving back too.
- My Buddy Bear's fine, right?
- Buddy Bear's fine, yeah.
The spell was canceled.
Everything's good.
- So, Buddy Bear can assist me.
- If you want Buddy Bear to give you the help action, yeah,
he can just come and assist you
if you want to launch a ranged attack against her.
- 'Cause the attack that I can do
that is, my strongest weapon is the longbow, right?
And what is a ranged attack for me?
- Is a plus 11 to hit.
- I think I should do that.
I think that's the best thing.
Don't you think that's the best thing for this right now?
- And Buddy Bear's gonna give you the help action,
so you'll roll with advantage.
- Let's do that, let's do that.
I think that doubles it up.
- And you're going 30 feet up, correct?
- Yeah, that's the most I can go without-
- Yeah, I think that's the right move, absolutely.
Absolutely, okay.
- Well, going up counts as a-
- Yeah, as movement, yeah. - [Jujubee] Okay.
- Flying means you move in three directions,
so I love this mini so much.
Twyla-
- Can I go diagonal towards- - Yeah.
You wanna get closer to her?
- I feel like I should, 'cause she's very weak already,
and then if I'm closer, Buddy Bear comes up,
Buddy Bear is, the closer we are together,
he's stronger, right, if he's helping me
or is that only when he does it himself?
- He's gonna stay land-bound,
but he can help you on the ground before you take off.
Buddy Bear comes over to you and (growls).
(Jujubee purrs)
Honey and jasmine and magic wraps around you.
You have the help action from Buddy Bear,
as he gives a little cat-like kiss to you.
And go ahead and roll your two attacks with advantage.
- Okay, two attacks.
That's this one, right? - Yeah, it's that one right there.
And you can roll your other D20 too if you wanna roll them-
- You know, the last time it- - [Monét] That didn't work out, yeah.
- [Brennan] I love it, I love it.
- Brennan, that seems like shady advice.
(Brennan laughs)
- That is a-
- Three. - Three.
- But you're rolling with advantage, so roll again,
and take the better- - Next one gonna slap.
Should I slap her so it slaps?
- Yeah, slap me.
You can, one, hit me, for real.
This way.
One, two, three. - One, two, three.
(Jujubee gasps)
- Four. - Four.
- Oh goodness.
It was higher than three. - It really worked.
- It was a soft slap.
- That was a really soft slap.
- So you're adding 11 to that.
- Okay, so 15. - 15 does not hit.
You have a second attack.
You're rolling this with advantage as well.
Go ahead and roll your second longbow attack.
- Watch, we're all gonna hit her.
We all have a round.
- Not me, I gave up my thing so y'all could-
- That's right, well we got some-
- Nat 20! (all cheering)
(Jujubee shouting)
(Jujubee growling)
- [Brennan] Incredible. - Oh, that was so straight.
(all laughing)
That was such a- (Bob grunts)
(Jujubee grunts)
Okay, sorry. - Bring a flagon of beer!
- Aha, I feel like I'm in a frat.
(all laughing)
- I think this is exactly what a frat is.
Dressing up in heels, makeup, and playing, yeah.
- I'm so sorry about that.
That was really out of character.
- No, I understand.
When the spirit moves you, what can you do?
So, I'm gonna need you to roll two D8, and add six to it.
- Wanna borrow mine, or you gonna do two at a time?
- You know what, you've been really good luck.
- Okay, borrow mine.
- Is this the, is this? - That's the D8.
No, that's a D10, sorry.
- She's been good luck?
She just made you roll a four.
You know what, take one of mine, take one of mine.
- Take one of hers, take one of hers.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Here.
- Actually, can I get yours?
I'll roll yours and hers.
- D8? - Yeah.
- Yeah, mommy.
- Yeah, this is nice, okay.
I don't know what that is, I didn't see it.
- It's an eight. - That's an eight.
- [Brennan] It's an eight? - [Monét] Oh shit.
- That's a five. - A five.
- Okay. - 13 plus six.
- 19. - 19, it hits.
- [Monét] How many does she have?
- 13.
- Yeah, oh did we just beat, we beat everyone!
- There's still more. - What?
- We still have Mr. Scorpion.
- But Mr. Scorpion is not gonna hurt us.
- Yeah, we don't know what he's up to.
- Twyla, describe what happens
as you fly up towards this burning
angel inquisitor overhead,
as (shouts) as the counterspell still scorches her skin.
Your first arrow flies wide,
she swats it out of the way with her spear.
Your second arrow strikes true.
Tell me what happens.
- My second arrow, I do this thing where I pump my chest up,
and then I go like this,
and then I say, "You ready, bitch?
'Cause I'm about to get you."
(Jujubee yelps, trills, and meows)
(Brennan laughs)
- There it is.
(Tongue pop) (Brennan grunts)
(dramatic music)
(Brennan gasps)
- No, I'm not ready for the light.
And you see where the arrow strikes her, light,
and her entire body (screams) bursts into light.
She scatters-
- [Monét] It's like the end of "Hocus Pocus."
- Yes, and vanishes.
As she vanishes, you hear, from the throne.
- Oh my gosh.
- I've seen enough.
(tense music)
- Oh. - What the hell?
- What is it, what is it,
what is it, what is it, what is it?
- A live animal?
- What is it, what is it?
What's she doing now?
- She steps forward.
- Oh god. - [Bob] Oh god.
- Oh, she's fierce. - We don't know what she's gonna do.
- Girl, she's in attack mode.
What do you mean? - We don't know.
Let's just not assume.
- She looks and says, "I've seen enough.
Alacranos!
Come back over here."
The scorpion turns to rejoin her,
and correct me if I'm wrong,
nobody here ever attacked the scorpion.
- We never, we decided not to.
- We never hit him.
- Yeah, 'cause you were like, don't.
- So you never made an enemy, well chosen.
- Woo. (Bob claps)
- [Alaska] Good choice, ladies.
- I think I even protected the scorpion at one point.
- I believe you did, yes.
And it's true.
She looks at all of you and says,
"Four heroes, four foes,
all four defeated.
And I believe, as a woman of my word, I said four wishes."
Heroes of the Underworld, you are victorious!
(triumphant music) (all cheering)
Incredible!
- Oh my god.
- We leave combat.
You have defeated all of your enemies, amazing job.
What an incredible, incredible combat.
You all now behold here in this place,
the light shifts, the light comes back up,
and as you're looking here, Gertrude,
give me an insight check with advantage,
if you'd be so kind.
- Okay, I'm getting an 11. - Okay.
- And a 14.
- 14, and do you add your insight to that?
- My insight is plus two, so it's 16.
- 16, you step forward.
You see Thanara, goddess of the Underworld.
I must say, I was wildly entertained.
You are exceptional heroes
to have come and braved this place.
Very few would think to enter the Underworld,
in the temple of a goddess whose name is forgotten.
And here, Gertrude, you see this,
and actually, I think Troyánn, you recognize this too
because you saw it in Gertrude.
You see a deep sadness.
It is my lot to reign here eternally.
- Oh, she has to.
- Unchanging.
I think Gertrude, you see a sadness
that you know all too well,
of someone who cannot,
or believes that she cannot change.
That this is her life forever.
The wishes are yours.
You have won them,
through strength of arms, and magical prowess.
I hope you take them, and return to whatever life you lead,
and that it brings you some small joy.
Very well, for what do you wish?
- Let's do one of our huddles.
- Oh, there's a huddle, okay.
- I have a question. - Hi, so.
- We can just walk out of here now,
because we got the head honcho is on our side,
and I think she was entertained.
I think it was the one-liners.
I think it was the 'Merry Christmas' that really got her.
- She really liked it, yeah.
- I saw her kinda go, I saw when you said it she went,
she did one of these, she was like.
- She did, she broke character for a second, yeah she did.
- So, okay, this might be crazy.
So I feel like I'm doing fine.
I haven't been trapped under a thing in a long time.
Maybe she, okay, I don't know who put this curse on her.
This might not work at all, I'm just spitballing here,
'cause she did something for us.
What if I gave her my vial,
and she broke her own curse?
'Cause she's sad.
Like she wants something, but she seems-
- But then she wouldn't break your curse.
She hasn't done it yet. - She's so noble that she's not asking for it.
She seems so noble that she's not asking for anything,
but she also seems trapped so maybe that wouldn't work.
I don't know, I'm just throwing that out there.
- I mean, if you wanna stay immortal,
or you don't care, 'cause you haven't been trapped,
drowning for 1,300 years, in a long time.
- [Bob] Maybe this isn't the only vial.
- Didn't we just win this?
- We did, we did!
But I'm saying, maybe this
isn't the only vial like this in the world.
- Well, where would you get a second one from?
- Well, I'm trying to go back upstairs
so I can plant this seed.
- Yeah.
- So I'm just wondering, I don't know if I should,
it seems like she is longing for something,
and we can, it feels like a Snow White moment.
- I mean, give her your vial, then.
Just keep immortality.
- But then you won't break your curse.
- Or I'll just try to break it another way, another day.
- You know what, we're all friends now.
We can travel the world trying to find you another vial.
- I guess we have to come back.
- Not down here.
I think there's one in heaven.
(Brennan laughs)
- Little nicer scenery.
Also, we don't even know,
this might not even work, so we should just go over there
and just kind of pitch it and-
- This is our world.
- I'll go last, you all go first,
and I'll think this through.
- Okay.
- You approach the dais.
You see as you sort of walk over, Alacranos goes,
(low growling) "By the way, I'm sorry about stabbing you
with my poison stinger earlier.
You know, I just, I get a little frisky, up in the mix.
I'm gonna go to the mess hall and grab a bite to eat."
And you see he turns around,
Alacranos heads off to give you some privacy.
- He was in a rage too, his blind rage.
- So, Thanara looks and says,
"I know that there are wishes here.
You spoke them as you entered this hall.
For what do you wish, and what boon might I grant you?"
- (low and growly) I would like, (clears throat)
(Bright and clear) Oh sorry. I would like- (all laughing)
She just had a sore throat.
- No, no!
- The whole time, the whole thing? - The whole journey, yeah.
No, she had like a laryngitis or something.
- I had a Ricola in my purse, girl.
- Oh, you did?
See, that would've changed-
- Even after that tea, you were?
- It would've changed everything, yeah.
- It was a cold brew, it was a cold brew tea.
- So I was wondering if it's not too much to ask,
could you restore life to my entire family lineage,
except for that one guy?
- Be specific, yeah you gotta be specific.
- Not that guy.
Just because they were wrongfully,
like, extinguished before their time.
(Brennan sighs)
- She closes her eyes,
and you see, she says,
"To return even one soul to the living
is quite a feat.
An entire bloodline, what a miracle you asked for.
But, you straight up split that lady's head in half,
and that was wild to watch.
I can make it happen." (fingers snaps)
And you (gasps) rising up from the void,
suddenly you are surrounded by smoke, mist, vapor,
and suddenly hands, hands reaching out,
hands holding you, embracing,
and suddenly, you hear
(Throaty, Congested) My da- (coughs)
(Clear) My daughter!
(all laughing)
My sweet daughter.
- It's a family bit. - We all caught it.
No, we all caught it around the same time.
- [Brennan] It's a bug, it's a bug. - It's the cedar, the cedar.
- Cedar, that fucking cedar. - [Brennan] It's the ce-
We're all highly allergic to cedar.
Hi, I'm Ronarian Foehammer.
This is my daughter, Princess.
A hero of the Underworld, can you believe it?
(all cheering)
- Hey, Dad.
(Brennan laughs)
- Your family gathers round and kisses you on the cheek.
You are reunited with the Foehammers once more.
Thanara looks and says, "I let souls go only very dearly.
I wish you joy for the time you have together now."
- Thank you.
- You see, your mother leans in and says,
"You know such famous people now."
- I know. - Oh my god.
Can I have an autograph?
(Brennan laughs)
- Thanara turns her gaze to the rest.
Yeah, Troyánn, Twyla, Gertrude?
- Hi.
- [Brennan] Thanara turns to look at Troyánn.
- Queen Thanara.
After working for my mother,
and finding out the deceit of her ways,
I truly would come here,
and I would like to wish for you to bring my father back.
- What?
- That's what she wishes?
- I said what I said. - Wow.
- Twyla.
- [Bob] She didn't stutter.
Not the innocent people you killed, okay.
- You see that she says, "Of course."
She, and all of you see is this beautiful Elven man
appear before you.
He looks- - Father.
- Oh sugar, and he goes and he hugs you.
He says, "I'm so sorry.
I made that deal so fast.
I didn't think to get message to you first.
To just vanish from the world, it was not fair.
You were so young.
We only had 75 years together.
I love you."
- I love you too, Father.
Now let's take down Mother.
- Ooh.
- I say hell yeah to that.
- Not part two.
- And we'll see you on season 19.
(all laughing) (House music)
- That's how you secure a franchise.
(all laughing)
- Oh, she wanted a spinoff.
Oh, I get it. - [Bob] Not a spinoff.
- A Spinoff, I love it.
- Monét's gonna be back with three different queens.
(Monét laughs)
- Troyánngela.
- Uh, you see, he says,
"Yeah we got our work cut out for us.
Inira, she wants to live forever,
and If she does, there's a lotta souls
she's put in this place, and we've put in there for her,
and we gotta do something about it."
- Yeah.
- "Be an honor to fight by your side, sweetheart."
- You too, Father.
Manolikalana.
- Manolikalana.
You see that he smiles, and Thanara,
you see there's a pain in Thanara's eyes
as she looks down at that,
and she turns over to Gertrude and Twyla.
Hm, how touching.
- You haven't gone yet.
- You should go last.
- Okay, I'll go last.
- You should, 'cause you're still gonna do that thing, huh?
- Yeah, I'm gonna do the thing that we-
- Okay, so can I do something?
- [Brennan] Yeah, absolutely.
- Am I talking to Thanara right now?
- This 18 foot woman turns and looks behind her and says,
"Yeah, for sure, yeah absolutely."
- I gotta do this. - Don't move Thanara, bitch.
Maybe she flies near her or something.
- I feel like we're all getting in on this.
- Yeah go ahead, move your minis.
- Yeah, I was just gonna have to scream from across the way,
be like hey, just give me a second, I'll be there!
- So I was thinking!
- Yeah Monét, get me over there somewhere.
- When we started this.
When we started this expedition, right,
is what we'll call it, together,
we didn't really know each other that well.
And we became really close,
and we became family, I believe.
I came in here telling you that I was gonna ask you
to restore the dead to life, of the Fae people,
and I still would like that to happen,
but if at all possible,
if you could help remove
Gertrude's curse as well, (Bob gasps)
I think that would be a really kind gesture
for the Fae people, and for my new sister.
(emotional music)
Please.
- Sorry, I just got a little emotional in real life.
Um, she looks and says,
"What a truly selfless act."
A tear streaks from her face.
"Noble soul, your wish is granted."
(fingers snap)
- Wait, she goes, before you do!
She goes, before you do!
Before you do!
And then she takes a long time, she has tiny little legs,
so she walks over,
she wants to get really close to this lady.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, you see,
she actually goes, let me go take a seat on her throne
and you can all gather right before her throne.
- [Jujubee] Oh, awesome. - [Brennan] We'll do 'Wizard of Oz' style.
- [Bob] Right in front of her.
- [Monét] And for whatever reason it is, Twyla's extra
so she's just gonna hover the whole time.
(Brennan laughs)
- [Brennan] Perfect.
- [Bob] Okay she goes, "Before you do,"
'cause this is crazy, 'cause now I'm realizing
that I'm gonna get my curse released regardless.
- [Jujubee] Right.
- And then, I'm gonna, okay. - Okay.
- That was a great move. - Uh-huh, uh-huh.
- Geez, that was really good. - Come on, sister.
- You better fucking werk, okay.
I didn't know that was coming.
- I didn't either.
(all laughing)
- So, okay.
So, Gertrude is standing in front of this giant woman,
she is quite terrified again,
but now the shaking is down to just her toes,
so probably nobody can probably see it.
Thanara probably has an idea,
but she's really kind of got her headstrong,
and then she goes,
"This is all I've ever wanted my entire life,
which has been a very long life."
And she reaches into her bag,
and then she holds the thing,
and I'm sure Thanara probably knows what this is already.
She holds it up, and she looks at it,
and she goes, I think you deserve the same kindness
that was offered to me,
and she just puts it in her lap,
and then she goes, "Okay now you can do it."
- She is so moved in this moment.
This kindness shown from Twyla to Gertrude,
and from Gertrude to her.
(emotional music)
"Freedom?
Freedom
from the service I have done this place,
and of the world, both above and below?
Gertrude?
I knew you would understand.
I saw that your heart was big enough to feel
for even the goddess of death, and the Underworld.
And so, when you were but a child,
the magic within you was so great,
but more than that, your heart,
so pure, so trusting, and so kind,
that I sought only to smile on you,
and give a blessing to your life,
but of course, my blessings always are twisted.
I wished for your life to be kept safe and protected,
but that brought with it the curse of immortality.
You were ever on my mind,
and your gifts were given with love,
but those things I give hurt mortals to bear,
and I wish for your sorrows, I had not given them,
and I am sorry.
I cannot accept this."
- Oh no.
- You see, she looks at it,
and you can see so clearly that she wants to.
She wants to so badly.
She says, "For if I leave this throne,
yes you have given me a way out,
but if I were to leave,
I am the source of power for this realm.
All the spirits who have a home here would crumble apart,
and be left with nothing.
The stones and wastelands,
the rivers would fall apart into oblivion
if I were to leave.
There is no, there is no source of power
that could sustain this realm, and so, I must stay.
(Brennan sighs)
If it is a kind and true gift,
and if I knew of anything within the Underworld
that had the power to shed magic on this realm
other than me,
I would gladly leave, but I know of no such thing."
- Wait, is there anything?
Wait, do we have anything?
- We don't have anything.
- Honestly, the only thing I can think of,
which I've already mentioned earlier,
was trying to plant this seed,
but there's no way that it would grow down here,
but considering that there was light-
- Maybe we could ask if you could plant it here,
and it could become the new-
- But I can open it up.
My Druidcraft.
I can open the seed.
- [Monét] And plant it down here- - Which creates life, right?
- It creates life.
- Can we do that? - Yes, I think so.
- I would like to do that.
- Twyla, you reach in and take out
the last seed of the All Blossom.
- Let's plant it, honey.
- "I, but there is nothing that I,
that, the power of that, of your entire realm?
It is too great of a gift, and I give life to nothing.
There is nowhere down here to plant it, I,"
and you hear a soft little purr,
and you see Buddy Bear walk over to the throne.
(Bob gasps)
- Oh my god.
- The thing you summoned all that time ago,
walks over to the throne,
and sits, and smile, and purrs.
(Jujubee sobbing) - I am so sorry.
- It's okay. - I am an emotional wreck too.
- Oh my god.
- It's very beautiful.
(Jujubee crying)
It's very beautiful.
(Brennan sighs)
Magic of the Fae Realm comes to you,
and fills you with golden light.
You see Thanara step away from her throne,
and she grows down, free.
She looks at you and smiles and says,
"I do not know what the future of this Underworld holds,
but a throne is such an oppressive thing
for those that behold it,
and for those that sit upon it.
Let there be a different heart of the Underworld."
The All Blossom glows with light,
and your playing cards begin to shimmer with light,
as the Will O'Wisps pull them up into the air around you,
swirling in all directions.
(Jujubee sniffles)
Does Twyla plant the seed,
and what does it look like as she does?
- Oh, she just (sniffles) she looks around at her sisters,
and she says, "Ladies, we did it."
And we all gather, we all pick a spot,
take the seed out.
I plant it, there's this beautiful light,
and Buddy Bear just purrs,
just this beautiful, heartwarming purr,
and we're all just calm.
(majestic music)
- Serenity, golden light.
Moments become hours, and hours become moments.
Time fades away.
Thanara takes the mantle of her rulership,
the curse that she must ever watch the Underworld.
(dramatic music)
Blows it into the glass vial that you gave her, Gertrude,
and it vanishes (gasps) and you see
her golden bracers vanish from her arms.
She looks at you, free, and says,
"I do not know what adventures await me
in the realms beyond,
but I dedicate them to you, sweet Gertrude."
She kisses you on each cheek and says,
"That jackal owes you a hell of a lot more than a damn rug."
(all laughing)
That's a goddess curse, okay?
That's worth a lot.
And she smiles at you all and says,
"Heroes, not just of the Underworld,
but heroes to me, sweet sisters."
And she open, and I guess while we got it, let's use it.
- Use it, what do you mean let's use it?
- She opens a portal to realms beyond,
and she smiles at you all and waves,
and walks away from all of the pain and sorrow
that she felt here, on her next great adventure.
And for all of you, you watch golden light,
playing cards, and you hear the songs,
the music of the fairy realm,
and you see growing, the throne cracks
as roots and plants rip the throne apart,
and a beautiful flower blooms and blossoms,
and suddenly, the tower crumbles around you,
but before any rock can fall,
roots and briars tear the stones away
and you look, not at a deep, red,
crimson lightning storm cloud,
but suddenly (gasps) first one,
and then another, and another, rays of sunlight.
The All Blossom blooms again, and as it blooms,
charging forward,
(squeaky) Yippee!
As a little chipmunk surges forward.
- Alvin! - Surges forward.
"Hey, we live again, here in the Fairy Realms!
(all laughing)
Let's get a drink and let's, I don't know, fuck around.
(all laughing)
Let's go!"
General Isadora, Martha!
And you see the tapestry unwinds, as Queen Titania floats,
looks around, and she smiles at you, Twyla, and says,
"Fairy Realms, new and old.
There are many here who have needed joy."
You watch, planting the All Blossom here,
and the risk you took in planting it
in this place where nothing could grow, it does grow.
And the light spreads, and you watch all of the,
not only fairies charging forward,
but all of the undead,
all the spirits of the dead throughout turn,
look at the light, (gasps) and it touches them.
You see Wallace, and his cheek grows back.
His cheek comes back, and suddenly there's green grass,
and all of those old veins.
You see, they're not veins, they were roots all along.
Come back, and the landscape of barren wasteland
is given new life.
Green growing grass, and flowers, tall trees,
and all of the spirits of the dead
are suddenly given fresh life.
The Underworld gives way to Fairie,
and the spirits of the dead are welcomed here
in revelry and joy, for as long as they wish to stay.
But, with a portal open,
should they choose to move on to their next great adventure.
- [Monét] Oh, good, rest.
- I'm glad we had a portal.
(Brennan laughs)
We almost didn't get to see it.
This is crazy, girl what else are you hiding behind there?
(Brennan laughs)
- My gosh.
(Brennan laughs)
- And with that, your fairies dancing,
and all brought together,
and you see in the boughs of the All Blossom,
still that face of Buddy Bear,
who now lives within that All Blossom,
bringing light to all this realm.
Smile, and breathe his jasmine breath
and nuzzle against your face
in the light of this eternal glowing flower.
(Brennan sighs) (triumphant music)
You see, in these last moments, all made well.
The Underworld transformed into a home for fairy folk
that those that pass on from the realm above may be here,
enjoy in harmony, living side by side.
And the last thing you see is,
poking out from behind a tree,
Nyruth with a gleaming green bottle going,
"Huh? This is incredible!
Oh, but you still have your curse.
You know, I've heard that back in Kelvorda,
there's a curse-breaking talisman,
deep at the heart of a 17 layer dungeon,
past the Mountains of Shadow,
in the Desert of the Serpent King.
Are the four of you doing anything right now?
- No.
- I happen to be free.
(Brennan laughs)
- Yeah, I don't have anything 'til Saturday.
(all laughing)
- It took us two days to get here.
(all laughing)
All things considered, this was kinda quick, actually.
- And that's all for this season
of "Dimension 20: Dungeons and Drag Queens."
(all applauding)
A joy, an honor, a privilege, what a story that we-
- Wild ride.
- That was so great. - Incredible.
- For us to share, and thank you so much
all of you at home for watching.
Take care, and we'll see you next time
here at "Dimension 20," farewell!
(Jujubee chuckles) (dramatic music)
- That was amazing, Jujubee. - Yes!
- That was amazing, everyone. - It was so good.
Good job, ladies. - Brennan?
(crew cheering) That was amazing.
- Good job, Brennan.
- Thank you so much, all of you, wow.
- It's like you've done this before.
(Brennan laughs)
You're so great. - Oh, thank you.
(House music)
(House music continues)