1 00:00:06,174 --> 00:00:08,468 ‎NETFLIX 影集 2 00:00:19,312 --> 00:00:21,564 ‎如果有外星生物 ‎你覺得他們會很友善嗎? 3 00:00:21,647 --> 00:00:23,775 ‎-他們會喜歡人類嗎? ‎-很難說,布萊德 4 00:00:23,858 --> 00:00:26,110 ‎我太太出差時被外星人綁架 5 00:00:26,194 --> 00:00:28,780 ‎-被迫與她的老闆上床 ‎-我知道,布萊德 6 00:00:28,863 --> 00:00:30,239 ‎大家早安 7 00:00:30,323 --> 00:00:34,994 ‎我們在歐羅巴任務的角色 ‎我即將要收到相關資訊了 8 00:00:35,078 --> 00:00:39,040 ‎女士先生們,我們重回戰場了 9 00:00:40,416 --> 00:00:43,377 ‎太好了,將軍 ‎你不知道這對我有多重大的意義 10 00:00:43,461 --> 00:00:46,047 ‎歐羅巴一直是我最愛的木星衛星 11 00:00:46,130 --> 00:00:48,007 ‎我們說不定會找到外星生物 12 00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:51,636 ‎-希望德雷克方程式是正確的 ‎-希望外星人也喜歡歌手德雷克 13 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,304 ‎來了 14 00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:55,431 ‎部長 15 00:00:55,515 --> 00:00:58,142 ‎奈德,你拼得要死 16 00:00:58,226 --> 00:01:02,480 ‎在華府所剩的人脈 ‎都被你求了一遍,結果… 17 00:01:05,983 --> 00:01:06,818 ‎請說? 18 00:01:07,610 --> 00:01:08,486 ‎你如願了 19 00:01:09,070 --> 00:01:11,364 ‎抱歉,我不是故意這麼戲劇化 20 00:01:11,447 --> 00:01:12,824 ‎我剛在吞薄荷糖 21 00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:15,284 ‎你們分到歐羅巴計畫的一部分 22 00:01:15,368 --> 00:01:16,244 ‎太好了 23 00:01:16,327 --> 00:01:19,455 ‎這真是好消息,部長 24 00:01:19,539 --> 00:01:23,626 ‎我想跟我的團隊分享這個喜訊 ‎我要把你轉到大螢幕 25 00:01:23,709 --> 00:01:26,420 ‎你確定要在全體同仁面前講這個? 26 00:01:26,504 --> 00:01:28,506 ‎好,嗨,大家好 27 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:33,636 ‎事實上,歐羅巴計畫主要由航太總署 28 00:01:34,220 --> 00:01:35,054 ‎什麼? 29 00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:38,182 ‎在奧克拉荷馬州議員 ‎鮑伯懷特算上你們之前 30 00:01:38,266 --> 00:01:39,517 ‎你們是沾不上邊的 31 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,436 ‎他從太空計畫開始就在國會了 32 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:45,106 ‎天啊,那是1952年 33 00:01:45,189 --> 00:01:47,859 ‎願上帝保佑鮑伯懷特 ‎他是我們最堅實的守護者 34 00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:49,569 ‎他已經103歲了 35 00:01:49,652 --> 00:01:50,695 ‎但是老當益壯 36 00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:52,405 ‎你們的工作是要準備 37 00:01:52,488 --> 00:01:55,533 ‎太空人防禦的深度簡報 38 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:56,868 ‎簡報? 39 00:01:56,951 --> 00:01:59,036 ‎防禦誰? 40 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,997 ‎這需要國際共同努力 41 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:04,125 ‎可說牽涉到地球上的每個國家 42 00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:07,170 ‎防禦我們可能遇到的任何生命體 43 00:02:07,253 --> 00:02:09,504 ‎我們要隊員準備好殺死他們 44 00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:11,549 ‎好,我看不到你們的臉 45 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:15,052 ‎但你們現在一定很火大 46 00:02:15,136 --> 00:02:20,016 ‎懷特議員一心認為外星人有可能入侵 47 00:02:20,099 --> 00:02:22,268 ‎我們只是順他的心意 48 00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:24,520 ‎把這當他的最後心願 49 00:02:24,604 --> 00:02:28,316 ‎你們遇到外星人的可能性極低 50 00:02:28,399 --> 00:02:31,777 ‎他們有敵意的可能性更低 51 00:02:31,861 --> 00:02:34,447 ‎但這是一份重責大任 52 00:02:36,532 --> 00:02:37,950 ‎好,我演不下去了 53 00:02:38,034 --> 00:02:40,119 ‎你是說我們的工作非常重要 54 00:02:40,203 --> 00:02:41,621 ‎還是極度不重要? 55 00:02:41,704 --> 00:02:42,955 ‎不重要,奈德 56 00:02:43,623 --> 00:02:47,043 ‎但另一方面來說,對你則是十分重要 57 00:02:47,126 --> 00:02:50,504 ‎因為要是你們表現不好,你們就完了 58 00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:53,925 ‎通話就該以這種方式結束 59 00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:56,802 ‎好 60 00:02:56,886 --> 00:02:59,472 ‎好,還算有一線希望 61 00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:04,060 ‎我們是歐羅巴計畫的一部分 62 00:03:04,143 --> 00:03:07,313 ‎不光彩又微不足道的那部分 63 00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:09,565 ‎艾德安,工作不分大小 64 00:03:09,649 --> 00:03:12,068 ‎真的有,而且我們拿到最小的 65 00:03:23,955 --> 00:03:27,083 ‎天啊,剛是怎麼回事? 66 00:03:27,166 --> 00:03:29,919 ‎糟糕,不好意思 ‎那是你的第一次嗎? 67 00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:32,922 ‎-跟妳是第二次,所以… ‎-所以這是你的第二次 68 00:03:33,422 --> 00:03:35,591 ‎-至少有三次吧 ‎-那就好 69 00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:38,427 ‎所以我們是怎樣? 70 00:03:38,511 --> 00:03:40,513 ‎就是…我們在做什麼? 71 00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:43,891 ‎妳突然在凌晨三點打給我 72 00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:47,311 ‎我想搞清楚這算什麼 73 00:03:49,689 --> 00:03:52,233 ‎這就是這樣 74 00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:55,945 ‎謝謝妳澄清 75 00:03:57,989 --> 00:03:58,864 ‎好 76 00:04:00,616 --> 00:04:04,620 ‎好,這是我目前僅有的頻寬 ‎這樣懂嗎? 77 00:04:05,788 --> 00:04:07,331 ‎-頻寬? ‎-對 78 00:04:07,415 --> 00:04:09,166 ‎這話由非科學家口中說出? 79 00:04:10,668 --> 00:04:11,961 ‎我知道頻寬是什麼意思 80 00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:14,755 ‎不過妳怎麼不解釋頻寬的意思? 81 00:04:14,839 --> 00:04:16,048 ‎天啊 82 00:04:21,262 --> 00:04:22,596 ‎妳在做什麼? 83 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:25,141 ‎打掃我的公寓 84 00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:28,644 ‎對,然後我可能會上網買跑鞋 85 00:04:28,728 --> 00:04:29,812 ‎付清帳單 86 00:04:30,396 --> 00:04:33,274 ‎-現在我要打鼓 ‎-在凌晨四點? 87 00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:37,028 ‎把睡覺時間省下來之後 ‎能完成的事情會讓你大吃一驚 88 00:04:37,653 --> 00:04:39,322 ‎我們可以聊一下嗎? 89 00:04:42,241 --> 00:04:43,117 ‎安潔菈 90 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,456 ‎閉嘴! 91 00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:52,877 ‎保護人類生命 ‎對歐羅巴任務的成功至關重要 92 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:57,214 ‎即便不太可能遭遇敵對外星生物 ‎但這種可能性仍在 93 00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:58,966 ‎我們必須對此備妥回應方針 94 00:04:59,050 --> 00:05:00,468 ‎我要請你先停下來 95 00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:02,094 ‎-怎麼了? ‎-也許這會有幫助 96 00:05:02,178 --> 00:05:05,306 ‎你就直說任務是什麼 ‎我倆私下像朋友那樣談,開始 97 00:05:06,098 --> 00:05:09,268 ‎保護我們的太空人不被外星敵人殺掉 98 00:05:09,352 --> 00:05:11,729 ‎太厲害了,就是這樣,你做到了 99 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:14,940 ‎接下來的演講都用這語氣 ‎跟他們說你剛對我說的 100 00:05:17,193 --> 00:05:18,486 ‎-即便不太可能… ‎-你搞砸了 101 00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:21,030 ‎-抱歉,不能用那聲音 ‎-什麼聲音? 102 00:05:21,113 --> 00:05:23,157 ‎“奈德將軍對群眾講話”的聲音 103 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,325 ‎你在說什麼? 104 00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:25,618 ‎你在對群眾講話時 105 00:05:25,701 --> 00:05:29,830 ‎會有一種奇怪,近乎做作的音色 106 00:05:29,914 --> 00:05:30,831 ‎太荒謬了 107 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,167 ‎對,你說的對 108 00:05:33,793 --> 00:05:36,170 ‎也許是我太笨,再試一次,開始 109 00:05:38,089 --> 00:05:42,551 ‎即便不太可能遭遇敵對外星生物 ‎但這種可能性仍在 110 00:05:42,635 --> 00:05:44,387 ‎-好,我要… ‎-太荒謬了 111 00:05:44,470 --> 00:05:45,638 ‎對,你說的對 112 00:05:46,472 --> 00:05:48,808 ‎也許是我太笨,再試一次,開始 113 00:05:48,891 --> 00:05:52,895 ‎即便不太可能遭遇敵對外星生物 ‎但這種可能性仍在 114 00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:53,854 ‎我靠 115 00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:57,108 ‎然後這裡這些是按字母排序 116 00:05:57,191 --> 00:06:00,528 ‎找出字母 ‎拿掉這個,放進去再堆回去 117 00:06:00,611 --> 00:06:02,822 ‎小心手指,那很尖 118 00:06:02,905 --> 00:06:06,534 ‎好,這可能是我的職責當中最重要的 119 00:06:08,536 --> 00:06:09,870 ‎幫我爸煮咖啡? 120 00:06:09,954 --> 00:06:13,207 ‎“幫我爸煮咖啡”,不只是這樣,艾琳 121 00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:16,293 ‎這是要維持他一整天同樣的咖啡因量 122 00:06:16,377 --> 00:06:18,838 ‎不會焦躁,但絕對不會沒精打彩 123 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:20,548 ‎-對 ‎-也是 124 00:06:20,631 --> 00:06:23,134 ‎這樣他的腦袋才能清醒做出正確決定 125 00:06:23,217 --> 00:06:24,677 ‎這樣他才不會生我的氣 126 00:06:25,344 --> 00:06:28,973 ‎好,拿張濾紙,打開 127 00:06:30,975 --> 00:06:33,352 ‎她說她沒有頻寬 128 00:06:33,436 --> 00:06:36,105 ‎因為她說不出口 ‎“你配不上我”這種話 129 00:06:36,856 --> 00:06:37,982 ‎兄弟,你變了 130 00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:41,610 ‎我一直以為當炮友很美好 131 00:06:41,694 --> 00:06:43,696 ‎誰不想要那樣,對吧? 132 00:06:43,779 --> 00:06:45,781 ‎但你知道他們沒說的是什麼嗎? 133 00:06:45,865 --> 00:06:46,991 ‎這並不容易 134 00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:50,161 ‎你有想過向她透露你真正的感受嗎? 135 00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:53,289 ‎我試過,但我不擅長這種事 136 00:06:53,372 --> 00:06:56,917 ‎天啊,小陳,你很了不起 137 00:06:57,001 --> 00:06:59,128 ‎看著我,你很了不起 138 00:06:59,211 --> 00:07:01,672 ‎我眼中的你是一名美男子 139 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,132 ‎我看到絕頂聰明的人 140 00:07:03,215 --> 00:07:06,510 ‎我會怕在他身邊開口 ‎因為自己會出糗 141 00:07:06,594 --> 00:07:10,890 ‎我看到貼心又敏感的火箭科學家 142 00:07:10,973 --> 00:07:12,475 ‎這就是我眼前看到的 143 00:07:12,558 --> 00:07:14,643 ‎從你口中說出,我好像很搶手 144 00:07:14,727 --> 00:07:15,603 ‎怎麼樣? 145 00:07:16,187 --> 00:07:17,271 ‎可以跟她說這些嗎? 146 00:07:18,564 --> 00:07:19,607 ‎你要我做什麼? 147 00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:23,110 ‎跟她說我很了不起又帥氣 ‎告訴她你剛才說的話 148 00:07:23,194 --> 00:07:25,738 ‎-你要我幫你拉抬聲勢? ‎-對,這樣就太棒了 149 00:07:25,821 --> 00:07:29,074 ‎我不行,我在高中試過了 ‎每次都害到自己 150 00:07:29,158 --> 00:07:30,493 ‎這樣對你沒好處 151 00:07:30,993 --> 00:07:32,661 ‎抱歉,我的要求太過火 152 00:07:32,745 --> 00:07:33,621 ‎沒錯 153 00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:35,998 ‎-太怪了,我搞得很怪 ‎-太扯了 154 00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:38,375 ‎-你不用這麼做,沒關係 ‎-謝謝你 155 00:07:50,888 --> 00:07:52,306 ‎好多雞塊 156 00:07:52,932 --> 00:07:53,933 ‎不要… 157 00:07:56,936 --> 00:07:58,437 ‎-好,我去講 ‎-真的嗎? 158 00:07:58,521 --> 00:07:59,605 ‎-我挺你 ‎-真的嗎? 159 00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:00,981 ‎我挺你,我會去講 160 00:08:01,065 --> 00:08:02,608 ‎-你說真的嗎? ‎-對,我說真的 161 00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:04,318 ‎天啊,你最棒了 162 00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:09,156 ‎這給你 163 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:10,658 ‎謝謝妳,女兒 164 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:13,661 ‎味道如何? 165 00:08:14,912 --> 00:08:15,788 ‎很好 166 00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:18,624 ‎我問妳 167 00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:22,253 ‎妳在這能實習的對象這麼多 168 00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:24,255 ‎為什麼選布萊德? 169 00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:26,090 ‎說不上來 170 00:08:27,341 --> 00:08:28,217 ‎我覺得… 171 00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:32,096 ‎這裡每個人都讓人心生畏懼 172 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:35,390 ‎有科學家、太空人和士兵 173 00:08:35,474 --> 00:08:36,517 ‎太空弟兄 174 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,894 ‎隨便啦,布萊德看似好開端 175 00:08:39,395 --> 00:08:42,940 ‎知道嗎?而且你常說工作不分大小 176 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:45,818 ‎我們都知道這是鬼扯 177 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:50,239 ‎好,在殺外星人之前 ‎難道不該先跟他們溝通嗎? 178 00:08:50,322 --> 00:08:54,618 ‎我的天才團進度還好嗎? ‎你們想到什麼了? 179 00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:56,996 ‎好,根據這分類 180 00:08:57,079 --> 00:08:58,497 ‎(外星人的大小) 181 00:08:58,581 --> 00:09:02,209 ‎我們不是讓他們一槍斃命 ‎就是用漂白水弄死他們 182 00:09:02,835 --> 00:09:05,796 ‎好,我知道你們都不喜歡這個任務 183 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,631 ‎但你們別這樣 184 00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:09,883 ‎我們要想出比這更好的方法 185 00:09:09,967 --> 00:09:12,761 ‎我們可以用如何殺死外星人的簡報 186 00:09:12,845 --> 00:09:14,221 ‎讓他們無聊死 187 00:09:15,848 --> 00:09:19,184 ‎我們難免會要做些 188 00:09:19,268 --> 00:09:21,562 ‎自己不想做的事情 189 00:09:21,645 --> 00:09:23,772 ‎這是勵志演說嗎? 190 00:09:23,856 --> 00:09:27,276 ‎艾德安,不是每份工作都吸引人 ‎但都有其價值 191 00:09:27,359 --> 00:09:31,697 ‎我爸常說:“馬克,拿垃圾去外面” 192 00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:34,950 ‎“不是只拿出去,還要放進垃圾桶” 193 00:09:35,034 --> 00:09:38,454 ‎“不要只放進垃圾桶 ‎還要丟到最底下” 194 00:09:38,537 --> 00:09:41,582 ‎“不要只有做這樣 ‎你還要蓋上蓋子,馬克” 195 00:09:41,665 --> 00:09:46,545 ‎“要把蓋子蓋緊,不要引來動物” 196 00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:48,255 ‎他很有智慧 197 00:09:48,339 --> 00:09:51,258 ‎他可能會問 ‎“我們說的是哪種外星生物?” 198 00:09:51,342 --> 00:09:55,346 ‎“是有堅硬烏龜殼的外星生物?” 199 00:09:55,429 --> 00:10:00,142 ‎“如果是這樣 ‎要用多大口徑的子彈才能射穿殼?” 200 00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:01,435 ‎哪種口徑都行? 201 00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:04,063 ‎因為龜殼不防彈 202 00:10:04,146 --> 00:10:08,067 ‎聽好了,幫我一個忙 203 00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:12,905 ‎努力想出有創意的殺東西方法,拜託 204 00:10:12,988 --> 00:10:14,657 ‎-謝謝 ‎-明白 205 00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:17,660 ‎什麼狗屁事都要我自己來 206 00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:25,834 ‎-阿里上尉,方便耽擱一下嗎? ‎-你不能用我的停車位 207 00:10:25,918 --> 00:10:27,836 ‎-跟小陳有關 ‎-怎麼了?他沒事吧? 208 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:30,839 ‎天啊,如果妳會擔心 ‎這樣就太好了,這邊請 209 00:10:31,340 --> 00:10:32,758 ‎首先,小陳沒事 210 00:10:32,841 --> 00:10:35,177 ‎我是要說,小陳表現得很好 211 00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:37,680 ‎同時那小子也很帥 212 00:10:37,763 --> 00:10:40,474 ‎-我不喜歡那樣 ‎-好,我也想是,妳看這個好嗎? 213 00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:41,684 ‎-他在那 ‎-什麼啦? 214 00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:43,310 ‎哇! 215 00:10:43,394 --> 00:10:45,521 ‎妳知道小陳十歲時 216 00:10:45,604 --> 00:10:48,649 ‎他是桌球冠軍嗎? 217 00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:50,067 ‎我不知道這件事 218 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:53,946 ‎那妳知道他非常敏感 ‎關心很多人嗎? 219 00:10:54,029 --> 00:10:56,156 ‎妳看,如果他這樣對老鼠 220 00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:59,201 ‎想想看他會怎樣對待交往對象 ‎那個人可能是妳 221 00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:00,953 ‎東尼,這太蠢了 222 00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:03,497 ‎他付錢叫你這麼做嗎?拱你這麼做? 223 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,999 ‎-我完全沒收費 ‎-出乎我意料之外 224 00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:08,711 ‎-沒錯,他很厲害,對吧? ‎-不是,是你 225 00:11:08,794 --> 00:11:13,507 ‎對,我一直把你當成 ‎自私自利、善於操弄 226 00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:17,052 ‎毫無靈魂的幹話王 227 00:11:17,136 --> 00:11:18,053 ‎哇 228 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:20,597 ‎這是一種藝術形式,承蒙妳厚愛 229 00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:22,725 ‎妳覺得怎樣?要安排你們約會? 230 00:11:22,808 --> 00:11:26,854 ‎我發誓,妳一出現在他面前 ‎妳就會有我現在的感受 231 00:11:26,937 --> 00:11:29,189 ‎不了,只是… 232 00:11:29,273 --> 00:11:30,774 ‎我說不上來,問題不在小陳 233 00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:33,402 ‎那我們聊聊吧 ‎如果不是小陳,那是什麼? 234 00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:36,363 ‎我需要喝一杯 235 00:11:37,406 --> 00:11:38,240 ‎你看這個 236 00:11:38,824 --> 00:11:41,744 ‎我在高中學的小花招,來囉 237 00:11:41,827 --> 00:11:44,830 ‎很好,我們要敬什麼? 238 00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:47,541 ‎敬小陳 239 00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:50,002 ‎天啊,你好愛小陳 ‎也許你該跟他交往 240 00:11:50,085 --> 00:11:52,421 ‎說不定喔,我沒有對象 241 00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:54,757 ‎少來了,你認識的人比誰都多 242 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:57,676 ‎這支手機裡一定有人值得你再看一眼 243 00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,219 ‎-別碰我的手機 ‎-怎樣啦? 244 00:11:59,303 --> 00:12:01,680 ‎這放我口袋,我不想要別人看 245 00:12:01,764 --> 00:12:03,849 ‎我不會亂搞啦 246 00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:06,351 ‎我從沒讓人看過手機內容 247 00:12:06,435 --> 00:12:08,437 ‎可以給我嗎?麻煩你,別激動 248 00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:11,148 ‎有誰呢?來看看 249 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:14,568 ‎好,等一下,“雷諾的悲慘經歷” 250 00:12:15,277 --> 00:12:17,196 ‎“太喜歡爵士樂” 251 00:12:17,279 --> 00:12:20,324 ‎然後只有兩個叫做 ‎“噁心”和“糟糕”的人?這些是誰? 252 00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:23,577 ‎那是我的系統,無懈可擊 ‎我用事情描述人 253 00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:25,704 ‎這遠比記名字輕鬆多了 254 00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:29,416 ‎-我叫什麼? ‎-不重要,就是妳的名字 255 00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:30,459 ‎不行,我來看看 256 00:12:34,505 --> 00:12:37,007 ‎妳確實是,妳是英雄 257 00:12:38,050 --> 00:12:41,220 ‎好,說真的,小陳有什麼問題? 258 00:12:41,303 --> 00:12:45,057 ‎沒有,沒事,小陳很好,真的 259 00:12:45,849 --> 00:12:47,643 ‎我喜歡跟他在一起 260 00:12:47,726 --> 00:12:52,606 ‎我只是還沒準備好全心全意交往 261 00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:56,527 ‎如果他派出專業泡妞搭檔 ‎顯然是瘋了才會這樣 262 00:12:56,610 --> 00:13:00,739 ‎他準備好全心全意投入 ‎所以妳要是沒準備要談感情… 263 00:13:00,823 --> 00:13:02,157 ‎沒有 264 00:13:02,908 --> 00:13:05,077 ‎…那我覺得你們不該睡一起 265 00:13:06,078 --> 00:13:08,789 ‎他是珍奇嬌貴的小鳥 266 00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:11,416 ‎對 267 00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:15,420 ‎不是,沒錯 ‎你說的對,我要心無旁騖 268 00:13:15,504 --> 00:13:18,131 ‎總之呢,斷捨離小陳 269 00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:19,633 ‎很好 270 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:23,971 ‎-你可以幫我跟他說嗎? ‎-不要,妳要我跟他說? 271 00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:25,472 ‎-對 ‎-我不想跟他說 272 00:13:25,556 --> 00:13:30,394 ‎陳博士,我想請你幫我看電腦的東西 273 00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:33,897 ‎我想要你的科學意見 274 00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:35,691 ‎這是什麼嗎? 275 00:13:35,774 --> 00:13:39,027 ‎這種細菌 276 00:13:39,111 --> 00:13:41,238 ‎表現出極不尋常的行為 277 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:45,075 ‎我想請你花點時間近距離觀察 278 00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:48,412 ‎看看是否出現任何… 279 00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:49,663 ‎靠,嚇死人 280 00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:50,706 ‎媽的 281 00:13:50,789 --> 00:13:51,999 ‎嚇到你們了,孬孬 282 00:13:52,708 --> 00:13:53,709 ‎嚇到你們了 283 00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:57,129 ‎這就是70年代麻省理工學院的作法 284 00:13:57,212 --> 00:13:59,298 ‎簡單但有效 285 00:13:59,965 --> 00:14:03,010 ‎-很厲害 ‎-幫大家鼓舞士氣,不收錢 286 00:14:03,093 --> 00:14:04,261 ‎大家別客氣 287 00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,513 ‎-天啊 ‎-比賽開始 288 00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:42,716 ‎天啊,不要 289 00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:36,812 ‎放進去…剪掉 290 00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:50,242 ‎外星人防禦簡報有進展了嗎? 291 00:15:50,826 --> 00:15:54,413 ‎有,長官,我們派出優秀人馬 292 00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:56,206 ‎天啊 293 00:15:56,999 --> 00:16:00,585 ‎出了什麼事,奈德? ‎那是曼陀珠炸彈嗎? 294 00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:02,129 ‎我等下再打給你 295 00:16:02,212 --> 00:16:05,465 ‎你真是亂七八糟,奈德,糟到不行 296 00:16:12,723 --> 00:16:14,057 ‎這是誰幹的? 297 00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:20,147 ‎馬克,你好像不了解創意過程 298 00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:23,150 ‎玩樂是創造力的關鍵 299 00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:25,819 ‎不,是你不明白 300 00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:30,449 ‎創造力跟四處搞破壞截然不同 301 00:16:30,532 --> 00:16:35,579 ‎四處搞破壞 ‎會讓政府單位的官員丟飯碗 302 00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:40,333 ‎讓政府單位併入其他單位 303 00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:42,377 ‎我只覺得很好笑 304 00:16:42,461 --> 00:16:43,378 ‎好笑? 305 00:16:44,463 --> 00:16:46,298 ‎你知道我覺得什麼才好笑嗎? 306 00:16:46,882 --> 00:16:51,219 ‎有人下巴沾了冰淇淋卻不自知 307 00:16:51,303 --> 00:16:55,057 ‎動物騎在其他動物身上 308 00:16:55,140 --> 00:16:56,683 ‎扮鬼臉 309 00:16:57,893 --> 00:17:00,020 ‎有人的蛋蛋被襲擊 310 00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:03,774 ‎穿褲子閒逛的狗 311 00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:06,985 ‎或是想辦法吃到花生醬的狗 312 00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:08,111 ‎這才叫幽默 313 00:17:09,446 --> 00:17:11,363 ‎爸,這只是愚蠢的惡作劇 314 00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:13,033 ‎對,對象是我 315 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,328 ‎還有全美國 316 00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:20,748 ‎糟糕 317 00:17:20,832 --> 00:17:23,126 ‎他的語氣真的很難過 318 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:24,503 ‎我們可能太超過了 319 00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:28,131 ‎或許我們要全力趕出謀殺火星人手冊 320 00:17:28,215 --> 00:17:29,841 ‎不能再瞎搞了 321 00:17:37,516 --> 00:17:41,311 ‎馬洛里博士,放這就行 ‎他不想要被打擾 322 00:17:41,853 --> 00:17:43,188 ‎他還在生氣嗎? 323 00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:46,608 ‎簡報好了 324 00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:53,281 ‎老大請看 325 00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:07,087 ‎挺好的 326 00:18:20,642 --> 00:18:22,769 ‎在布萊德旗下實習? 327 00:18:22,853 --> 00:18:25,647 ‎這是英勇卻無謀的選擇 328 00:18:26,398 --> 00:18:29,484 ‎妳爸覺得簡報怎樣? ‎我們之間沒事了吧? 329 00:18:29,568 --> 00:18:32,112 ‎那個啊,他還沒看完 330 00:18:32,195 --> 00:18:35,866 ‎對,他生氣地出來 ‎說要去下層地下室六號 331 00:18:35,949 --> 00:18:38,326 ‎下層地下室六號?下面有什麼? 332 00:18:39,744 --> 00:18:42,164 ‎-我不知道 ‎-那是他嘔氣的地方嗎? 333 00:18:42,247 --> 00:18:44,541 ‎我怎會知道? ‎我第一天上班,是實習生 334 00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:45,834 ‎但他還好嗎? 335 00:18:45,917 --> 00:18:47,752 ‎他好像很氣什麼事 336 00:18:47,836 --> 00:18:50,297 ‎我不知道,他不想講 337 00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:10,942 ‎-妳怎麼會有卡? ‎-從我爸抽屜拿的 338 00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:13,195 ‎下六 339 00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:14,905 ‎誰知道? 340 00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:17,991 ‎好,誰要開口道歉? 341 00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:19,743 ‎我覺得我要負責 342 00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:31,463 ‎搞什麼? 343 00:19:38,261 --> 00:19:40,222 ‎床單下面有什麼? 344 00:19:40,305 --> 00:19:41,806 ‎不知道 345 00:19:43,475 --> 00:19:45,477 ‎那是帶蹼的手嗎? 346 00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:49,439 ‎天啊 347 00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:50,857 ‎那東西在動 348 00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:52,943 ‎喔 349 00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:56,696 ‎天啊,馬克,小心 350 00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,787 ‎-不要 ‎-馬克,快揍他 351 00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:15,840 ‎你們這些混蛋 352 00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:20,387 ‎騙到你們了,騙超大 353 00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:22,138 ‎幹得好,好極了 354 00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,517 ‎-應該看看你們的表情 ‎-對 355 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:26,768 ‎妳也是同夥? 356 00:20:28,353 --> 00:20:29,187 ‎你們上當了? 357 00:20:29,271 --> 00:20:32,524 ‎我試著突然動作,製造緊張氣氛 358 00:20:36,945 --> 00:20:40,615 ‎你看,安潔菈愛冒險,自由又奔放 359 00:20:40,699 --> 00:20:42,951 ‎而且不用說,她是英雄 360 00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:46,079 ‎英雄都會忙得不可開交 361 00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:49,291 ‎我知道,我已經很喜歡她了 ‎你給我看這些做什麼? 362 00:20:49,374 --> 00:20:52,627 ‎好,你叫我去幫你們湊作堆 363 00:20:52,711 --> 00:20:54,462 ‎-對,然後呢? ‎-我去了 364 00:20:54,546 --> 00:20:58,842 ‎我們決定也許這時候不適合你們交往 365 00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:03,513 ‎什麼?我要你幫我牽線 ‎你是這樣幫忙的嗎? 366 00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:06,599 ‎我在幫忙啊 ‎我關心你,不想看到你受傷 367 00:21:06,683 --> 00:21:07,851 ‎所以我是這樣建議的 368 00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:09,894 ‎結束了 369 00:21:10,979 --> 00:21:11,855 ‎什麼? 370 00:21:13,565 --> 00:21:16,359 ‎你幫她來跟我分手? 371 00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:18,820 ‎對,但問題不是你,是她 372 00:21:19,571 --> 00:21:22,032 ‎-她在跟別人交往嗎? ‎-當然沒有 373 00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:23,575 ‎她絕不會這樣對你的 374 00:21:25,243 --> 00:21:27,954 ‎-那是怎樣? ‎-她現在沒辦法談感情 375 00:21:28,038 --> 00:21:30,582 ‎我完全不必談感情 376 00:21:30,665 --> 00:21:32,459 ‎-要怎樣都行 ‎-小陳 377 00:21:32,542 --> 00:21:34,419 ‎快去跟她說,我可以,我沒差 378 00:21:34,502 --> 00:21:37,881 ‎你真的接受你們不是戀人嗎? 379 00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:39,883 ‎只有像之前那樣一直約炮? 380 00:21:41,384 --> 00:21:43,720 ‎你沒事吧?要來點優格嗎? 381 00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:45,472 ‎-好 ‎-別這樣,你長大了 382 00:21:45,555 --> 00:21:47,265 ‎走吧,我們去吃點大人版優格 383 00:21:47,349 --> 00:21:49,100 ‎你不會有事的 384 00:21:49,934 --> 00:21:52,228 ‎實至名歸 385 00:21:52,312 --> 00:21:54,814 ‎那是手段高明的惡作劇 386 00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:57,150 ‎非常有說服力,真的 387 00:21:57,233 --> 00:21:58,735 ‎我可以搞笑 388 00:22:00,612 --> 00:22:02,113 ‎你說的對 389 00:22:02,197 --> 00:22:05,784 ‎有時候團隊只需要一點惡搞 390 00:22:05,867 --> 00:22:06,785 ‎所以謝謝你 391 00:22:07,327 --> 00:22:08,203 ‎謝謝你才是 392 00:22:13,750 --> 00:22:15,668 ‎-這是誰做的? ‎-做什麼? 393 00:22:15,752 --> 00:22:18,129 ‎太厲害了,這是誰做的? 394 00:22:19,798 --> 00:22:20,799 ‎大家注意 395 00:22:20,882 --> 00:22:23,635 ‎我想跟大家說,我剛收到 396 00:22:23,718 --> 00:22:25,470 ‎離婚協議書 397 00:22:25,553 --> 00:22:27,055 ‎我悲痛欲絕 398 00:22:27,138 --> 00:22:30,683 ‎因為顯然我太太要離開我 399 00:22:30,767 --> 00:22:32,018 ‎我們的婚姻結束了 400 00:22:32,102 --> 00:22:33,269 ‎(請簽名) 401 00:22:33,353 --> 00:22:36,564 ‎-馬克 ‎-我要變成單親爸了,好慘 402 00:22:37,899 --> 00:22:39,526 ‎我該怎麼辦? 403 00:22:40,652 --> 00:22:43,571 ‎我會孤獨地死去 404 00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:49,285 ‎感謝各位出色的表現 405 00:22:49,369 --> 00:22:53,706 ‎給我,讓我看看那些惡魔的傑作 406 00:22:53,790 --> 00:22:55,625 ‎你看看 407 00:22:55,708 --> 00:22:56,751 ‎好驚人 408 00:22:57,335 --> 00:22:59,295 ‎這細節很講究 409 00:23:01,923 --> 00:23:02,882 ‎那個… 410 00:23:05,135 --> 00:23:07,804 ‎科羅拉多州的官印 411 00:23:09,431 --> 00:23:10,765 ‎挺正確的 412 00:23:12,725 --> 00:23:14,102 ‎看起來很逼真 413 00:23:26,281 --> 00:23:27,407 ‎天啊 414 00:23:27,490 --> 00:23:29,284 ‎天啊,艾德安 415 00:23:30,285 --> 00:23:31,494 ‎天啊 416 00:23:31,578 --> 00:23:33,913 ‎這件事真的發生了 417 00:23:34,914 --> 00:23:38,585 ‎天啊,我該怎麼辦? 418 00:25:04,671 --> 00:25:09,676 ‎字幕翻譯:林佩孜