1 00:00:05,923 --> 00:00:08,760 [rumbling] 2 00:00:09,927 --> 00:00:15,099 [rocket engine whooshing] 3 00:00:17,852 --> 00:00:20,229 [woman] To be honest, her grades aren't great. 4 00:00:20,313 --> 00:00:23,149 -[Mark] Hmm. -But Erin is a very special young lady, 5 00:00:23,232 --> 00:00:27,445 and I think that if she could keep a top GPA at a community college, 6 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:30,448 that would be enough to get her into CU Denver in a couple of years. 7 00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,116 Hey! Go Buffaloes. 8 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:35,411 University of Colorado would be lucky to have our daughter. 9 00:00:35,495 --> 00:00:37,914 [chuckles] How about Brown? I'm a legacy. 10 00:00:37,997 --> 00:00:40,708 Maybe I could get her an internship at Space Force. 11 00:00:40,792 --> 00:00:42,043 That might help out, right? 12 00:00:42,126 --> 00:00:43,044 Oh. 13 00:00:43,127 --> 00:00:45,838 Mark, maybe we should pay a coach to put her on the soccer team. 14 00:00:45,922 --> 00:00:49,175 No, no, no, no. People tried to do that, and they went to jail. 15 00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:52,637 Like I care. 'Cause that extra three weeks would be insufferable. 16 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,222 My mom is in prison. 17 00:00:54,305 --> 00:00:56,057 -I know. -We don't need to talk about that. 18 00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:58,518 Mrs. Naird, I'm very impressed that, as a convict, 19 00:00:58,601 --> 00:01:00,436 you want a better life for your daughter. 20 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:04,690 How about a trade school? Concrete pouring is very hot these days. 21 00:01:04,774 --> 00:01:07,443 Oh, you know, Louise was a cement mason. 22 00:01:07,527 --> 00:01:08,986 Very strong union. 23 00:01:09,070 --> 00:01:10,655 Louise is my mom's lover. 24 00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:12,240 -All right. -She's also her guard. 25 00:01:12,323 --> 00:01:14,283 We don't need to talk about that. 26 00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:16,661 Cement mason. 27 00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:18,663 I guess I've heard worse ideas. 28 00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:22,416 How do you feel about that? You like cement? That interest you? 29 00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:27,713 [upbeat marching tune plays] 30 00:01:27,797 --> 00:01:32,635 Naird, regarding this upcoming visit with the Chinese space agency to Wild Horse, 31 00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:35,054 the President wants you to strike a treaty with the Chinese 32 00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:37,640 to ensure that we share resources on the moon. 33 00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:40,393 The space race is the new cold war. 34 00:01:40,476 --> 00:01:43,312 The whole world is watching to see if we deserve to lead it. 35 00:01:43,396 --> 00:01:46,190 We will crush them, sir. We've got this in the bag. 36 00:01:46,274 --> 00:01:49,277 But it's important that you show tact and civility. 37 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:51,863 We don't wanna come off like a bunch of cowboys. 38 00:01:51,946 --> 00:01:53,656 -1995 Super Bowl champs. -All right. 39 00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:55,616 See, that's exactly what I'm talking about. 40 00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:57,368 This whole "yahoo" mentality. 41 00:01:57,451 --> 00:02:00,955 And also, the Cowboys title was in 1996. 42 00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:03,791 Well, don't I have egg on my face? 43 00:02:03,875 --> 00:02:04,709 Huh? 44 00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:07,461 Brad, you actually do have egg on your face. 45 00:02:07,545 --> 00:02:10,256 I didn't have eggs for breakfast. Huh. Probably a story there. 46 00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:13,301 [Tony] Okay, we just got a list of the Chinese delegates that are attending, 47 00:02:13,384 --> 00:02:15,595 and there are some heavy hitters on this list. 48 00:02:15,678 --> 00:02:19,473 Highly decorated General Gao. Got the head of science, Dr. Zhang. 49 00:02:19,557 --> 00:02:20,600 [Mallory] Dr. Zhang? 50 00:02:20,683 --> 00:02:25,563 The same Dr. Zhang who called me a duck and is a moon-landing denier? 51 00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:28,024 Dr. Mallory, remember, diplomacy. 52 00:02:28,107 --> 00:02:29,025 Oh, don't worry. 53 00:02:29,108 --> 00:02:31,611 I'll show the ant-brained dunce a great time. 54 00:02:31,694 --> 00:02:34,238 Also, the lead astronaut from the moon mission, Dr. Lim. 55 00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:35,781 Ooh. Dr. Lim is coming? 56 00:02:35,865 --> 00:02:36,782 Yeah, Dr. Lim. 57 00:02:36,866 --> 00:02:38,201 Yes. Oh, he's the best. 58 00:02:38,284 --> 00:02:40,661 He's the only person to ever beat me in Uno. On the moon. 59 00:02:40,745 --> 00:02:42,955 Yeah, he's very talented and smart. He's a great guy. 60 00:02:43,039 --> 00:02:47,376 I think we should honor our guests with an authentic Chinese banquet. 61 00:02:47,460 --> 00:02:50,588 -Yes! That's a great idea. -I have the Panda Express on speed dial. 62 00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:51,672 Good luck with that. 63 00:02:51,756 --> 00:02:55,676 Even the Panda Express here closed down because locals found the food too "spicy." 64 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:59,096 You know, Mr. Chu in San Francisco is an old friend of mine. 65 00:02:59,180 --> 00:03:03,059 The Chus? Like, the top Michelin Chinese restaurant in all of California? 66 00:03:03,142 --> 00:03:05,436 We actually used to date, uh, 67 00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:08,648 but then he took the braised abalone off the menu, 68 00:03:08,731 --> 00:03:09,815 and I took the hint. 69 00:03:09,899 --> 00:03:13,361 You know what, sir? I could actually teach you Chinese etiquette. 70 00:03:13,444 --> 00:03:15,947 I spent some time over at Guangzhou for my term abroad. 71 00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:19,158 I'm sorry, but there's no way you studied abroad and are still the way you are. 72 00:03:19,242 --> 00:03:20,576 [speaks Mandarin] 73 00:03:22,036 --> 00:03:23,037 -Yeah. -Yeah? 74 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,121 Ah! 75 00:03:24,205 --> 00:03:25,957 And, uh, I can play the erhu, General. 76 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,250 -What? -What? 77 00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:28,584 What's the erhu? 78 00:03:28,668 --> 00:03:30,461 -A classic Chinese instrument. -[Chan] Yeah. 79 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,255 It's basically our version of the violin. 80 00:03:32,338 --> 00:03:35,466 Or, should I say, the violin is the bastardized Western version 81 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:36,717 of our erhu. 82 00:03:36,801 --> 00:03:37,843 Uh-oh! 83 00:03:37,927 --> 00:03:40,513 It's gorgeous. It's got two strings. It's made out of python skin. 84 00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:45,559 Wow! You all seem to know a shitload about Chinese culture. 85 00:03:45,643 --> 00:03:47,895 -Well, I'm Chinese. -All right. I have to cram. 86 00:03:47,979 --> 00:03:50,147 Don't worry. I am a quick study. 87 00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:52,733 At the age of three, I learned how to tie my shoe in 15 minutes. 88 00:03:52,817 --> 00:03:54,068 Oh, I love that story. 89 00:03:55,695 --> 00:03:59,532 Wait. Is it the left one for dessert and the right one for dinner? 90 00:04:00,366 --> 00:04:01,200 Yes. 91 00:04:01,284 --> 00:04:02,368 I knew it. 92 00:04:06,622 --> 00:04:08,416 -They're probably gonna give you a gift. -Yes. 93 00:04:08,499 --> 00:04:11,794 You wanna make sure you use both hands to receive and give gifts. 94 00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:14,255 -Okay. -And then you wanna take a little bow. 95 00:04:15,047 --> 00:04:16,674 -But not too much. -That's way too much. 96 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,592 -[Mark] Okay. -You're out of control. 97 00:04:18,676 --> 00:04:21,178 Yeah, past 45 degrees, you look… Okay. Like-- 98 00:04:21,262 --> 00:04:23,556 -I look… -You look Japanese. 99 00:04:23,639 --> 00:04:24,557 Is that bad? 100 00:04:25,057 --> 00:04:26,517 -Well, just… -It's different. 101 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:27,601 -Confusing. -Yeah. 102 00:04:27,685 --> 00:04:29,603 -Yeah. -[Mark] Okay, so a small bow. 103 00:04:29,687 --> 00:04:30,855 [Tony] There it is. 104 00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:32,732 -Ooh! -Oh no. You look like Quasimodo. 105 00:04:32,815 --> 00:04:35,443 Hey, he was a good guy. Got a raw deal. 106 00:04:35,526 --> 00:04:37,695 -Yeah. -Okay, follow me. 107 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,864 Set up this little tea thing for you. 108 00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:41,532 -Forever learning. Forever learning. -Yes. 109 00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,951 When someone is pouring you tea, 110 00:04:44,035 --> 00:04:46,454 you wanna lightly tap the table with two fingers. 111 00:04:46,537 --> 00:04:47,788 It's a sign of respect. 112 00:04:47,872 --> 00:04:48,789 -That's great. -Ah! 113 00:04:48,873 --> 00:04:50,708 In America, when you tap the table, 114 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:53,669 it's a sign you want the blackjack dealer to give you another card. 115 00:04:53,753 --> 00:04:54,587 Yes, Brad. 116 00:04:54,670 --> 00:04:57,298 Every Chinese person's been to Vegas. It's our Mecca. 117 00:04:57,381 --> 00:05:01,385 Oh, well, except for the Muslim Chinese. 'Cause Mecca is their Mecca. 118 00:05:03,054 --> 00:05:04,638 Okay, the key thing to remember 119 00:05:04,722 --> 00:05:06,557 -is family's extremely important. -That's right. 120 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,726 Every Chinese parent loves to brag about their kids. 121 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:11,103 -You should bring Erin. -I don't know if that's a good idea. 122 00:05:11,187 --> 00:05:13,481 -It's a fantastic idea. -Yes. They would love her! 123 00:05:13,564 --> 00:05:15,524 I'm not sure she would even be able to come. 124 00:05:15,608 --> 00:05:17,485 I could DM her right now and find out. 125 00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:19,445 Mmm. How important is this? 126 00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:21,030 [Tony inhales sharply] 127 00:05:21,113 --> 00:05:22,865 It's, like, the most important. 128 00:05:22,948 --> 00:05:27,161 You know, the Chinese have a tremendous respect 129 00:05:27,244 --> 00:05:28,829 for elder statesmen. 130 00:05:28,913 --> 00:05:32,666 We should invite one of the original Apollo astronauts. 131 00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:36,670 Give Dr. Zhang a piece of real American space history. 132 00:05:36,754 --> 00:05:38,297 -Yes. -That's a great idea. 133 00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:40,383 -It is! -Let's try and get Lance Armstrong. 134 00:05:41,509 --> 00:05:43,719 Yes. Call Lance Armstrong, Brad. 135 00:05:43,803 --> 00:05:45,096 I will do that right now. 136 00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:47,056 Should talk about how you're gonna drink the tea. 137 00:05:47,139 --> 00:05:48,808 -You don't gulp. You sip. -Wait, wait, wait. 138 00:05:48,891 --> 00:05:50,726 Think he's actually gonna call Lance Armstrong? 139 00:05:50,810 --> 00:05:52,144 -[Brad] Hello. -Hey, Brad? 140 00:05:52,228 --> 00:05:54,063 -[Brad] Yeah? -[Tony] Who you talkin' to, bud? 141 00:05:54,146 --> 00:05:56,315 [jet engines power down] 142 00:05:56,399 --> 00:05:58,776 Erin, I want you on your best behavior today. 143 00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:02,446 I promise I won't start an international incident like you almost did. 144 00:06:02,530 --> 00:06:03,447 Don't be fresh. 145 00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:05,032 I want you to smile, to be polite. 146 00:06:05,116 --> 00:06:06,909 And if your mother comes up, 147 00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:09,787 just say that she is taking some time for herself. 148 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:12,915 Yes. 20 to 30 years for herself. 149 00:06:12,998 --> 00:06:15,167 [dramatic Western music playing] 150 00:06:15,251 --> 00:06:16,919 [softly] What the fuck are they wearing? 151 00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:17,837 [Erin chuckles] 152 00:06:18,796 --> 00:06:20,840 General Gao, welcome to Space Force. 153 00:06:20,923 --> 00:06:23,801 General Naird, howdy. 154 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,803 This is my wife, Siu. 155 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,555 -Howdy. -And my son, Jing. 156 00:06:27,638 --> 00:06:28,472 Howdy. 157 00:06:28,556 --> 00:06:31,976 It is a pleasure to meet you and your lovely family. 158 00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:34,019 This is my daughter, Erin. 159 00:06:34,103 --> 00:06:36,272 She's painfully shy. 160 00:06:36,856 --> 00:06:39,358 And she hardly ever says anything. 161 00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:40,401 'Sup? 162 00:06:40,484 --> 00:06:43,112 What a stunning young lady. You must be proud. 163 00:06:43,195 --> 00:06:44,029 Thank you. 164 00:06:44,113 --> 00:06:47,741 And your son, he is also stunning. 165 00:06:49,994 --> 00:06:53,456 He skipped two grades. That is what we are most proud of. 166 00:06:53,539 --> 00:06:56,709 Mm. I, too, have skipped a few classes. 167 00:06:56,792 --> 00:06:57,710 [Mark] Hmm. 168 00:06:57,793 --> 00:07:00,713 A gift from us. Moutai. 169 00:07:00,796 --> 00:07:01,672 Ah. 170 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,591 My country's favorite liquor. 171 00:07:03,674 --> 00:07:07,970 Very gracious of you, General. We have a gift for you as well. 172 00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:11,682 American cigars from the great state of Connecticut. 173 00:07:12,683 --> 00:07:16,353 Perhaps the second- or third-best cigar in the world. 174 00:07:16,437 --> 00:07:19,899 I was thinking that maybe later you and I could fire up a couple of those bad boys 175 00:07:19,982 --> 00:07:22,818 and discuss the division of lunar resources. 176 00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:26,197 Perhaps. Later. 177 00:07:28,824 --> 00:07:30,451 [softly] Sir, slow down. 178 00:07:30,534 --> 00:07:33,662 In China, they never discuss business right away. 179 00:07:33,746 --> 00:07:36,290 Copy that. Slow and steady wins the moon. 180 00:07:40,252 --> 00:07:42,254 -Ah. General, may I? -Oh, yes, Captain. Yes. 181 00:07:42,338 --> 00:07:44,173 [chuckling] Hey. 182 00:07:44,256 --> 00:07:46,717 -[Tony] Wow. Dr. Lim. -Hey. 183 00:07:47,343 --> 00:07:48,928 Dr. Lim is a smoke show. 184 00:07:49,011 --> 00:07:52,306 I know. If I were Angela, I would choose him over me too. 185 00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:54,183 [Tony] What? Stop that. 186 00:07:54,266 --> 00:07:57,686 I would have sex with you over him any day of the week. 187 00:07:57,770 --> 00:07:58,687 -Really? -Yes. 188 00:07:58,771 --> 00:08:00,981 I would ride you like a three-legged camel. 189 00:08:01,065 --> 00:08:02,399 Aw, that's very sweet of you. 190 00:08:02,483 --> 00:08:04,568 Of course. So, what? What are you afraid of? 191 00:08:04,652 --> 00:08:05,778 That they did it on the moon? 192 00:08:05,861 --> 00:08:08,614 No. I mean, he is, like, super good-looking. 193 00:08:08,697 --> 00:08:11,116 -Very good-looking. -And they're both astronauts. 194 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:14,578 One could be having a zero-gravity alcohol swab bath. 195 00:08:14,662 --> 00:08:17,248 -The other one floats in accidentally… -Okay. 196 00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:18,332 …and then they touch, 197 00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:21,043 and then her knee grazes the side of his perfect cheekbones. 198 00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:23,254 -They have an intimate moment together. -Super specific. 199 00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:25,506 They lock eyes, and her face is flushed red. 200 00:08:25,589 --> 00:08:27,341 Okay, you gotta stop. You gotta stop. 201 00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:29,218 Been thinking about it way too much, all right? 202 00:08:29,301 --> 00:08:31,804 You need to find out for sure. You gotta confront this guy. 203 00:08:31,887 --> 00:08:34,056 You should meet him outside the bathroom. 204 00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,225 That's very creepy. 205 00:08:36,308 --> 00:08:37,685 It is not. Think about it. 206 00:08:37,768 --> 00:08:40,312 Everybody has to go. There's only one way in or out. 207 00:08:42,398 --> 00:08:44,191 You're not making it less creepy. 208 00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:50,656 Hello, Dr. Zhang. 209 00:08:50,739 --> 00:08:51,740 Dr. Mallory. 210 00:08:51,824 --> 00:08:55,035 Oh, well, at least this year, we've gotten each other's name right. 211 00:08:55,119 --> 00:08:56,328 That's a big step. 212 00:08:56,412 --> 00:08:59,164 Some might even say a giant leap. 213 00:08:59,248 --> 00:09:00,416 Sure, sure. 214 00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:03,752 Well, I have a gift for you, sir. 215 00:09:03,836 --> 00:09:08,841 This is an art piece made by my fiancé. 216 00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,554 She's very talented. 217 00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:16,348 Actually, it's a he. Jerome. 218 00:09:16,432 --> 00:09:18,601 His pronouns are he/him. 219 00:09:18,684 --> 00:09:21,520 Oh, I see. Congratulations. 220 00:09:22,021 --> 00:09:25,316 You two make for a very accomplished couple. 221 00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:27,568 Does it bother you that we're a couple? 222 00:09:28,277 --> 00:09:30,112 No. I said "congratulations." 223 00:09:30,988 --> 00:09:34,366 I see. Well, thank you. We're very happy. 224 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:35,868 Pardon? 225 00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:38,662 What? I didn't say anything. 226 00:09:38,746 --> 00:09:40,331 Hey, it's cool. 227 00:09:41,123 --> 00:09:42,082 He's cool. 228 00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:43,792 Yeah. We're good. 229 00:09:43,876 --> 00:09:46,879 Dr. Zhang, perhaps you'll have one of these someday. 230 00:09:46,962 --> 00:09:49,632 This is our Space Hall of Heroes. 231 00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:54,678 Armstrong, Aldrin, the first two men on the moon. 232 00:09:54,762 --> 00:09:57,556 Twelve American astronauts had set foot on the moon… 233 00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:58,766 [in Mandarin] Hollywood star. 234 00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:01,143 [in English] …by 1972. 235 00:10:02,853 --> 00:10:04,188 Is that Bruce Willis? 236 00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:05,981 Very good actor. 237 00:10:06,065 --> 00:10:07,107 He is a good actor. 238 00:10:07,191 --> 00:10:09,985 That astronaut has a full head of hair though. 239 00:10:10,736 --> 00:10:12,279 [in Mandarin] Wig. 240 00:10:12,363 --> 00:10:15,282 [playing Chinese folk song on erhu] 241 00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:20,788 [in English] So, General, how was your flight? 242 00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:22,915 It was long. 243 00:10:23,874 --> 00:10:24,917 I slept. 244 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,877 [Mark] Ah. Sleep is good. 245 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,337 I like sleep. 246 00:10:29,088 --> 00:10:31,131 [whispering] Ask him about Fan Bingbing. 247 00:10:31,215 --> 00:10:33,342 -[softly] Who is that? -It's a famous Chinese actress. 248 00:10:33,425 --> 00:10:35,469 Fan Bingbing. He'll go crazy. Fan Bingbing. 249 00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:38,889 [regular voice] So, how about that Fan Bingbing? 250 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,557 She's quite the actress. 251 00:10:40,641 --> 00:10:42,893 She committed tax fraud. 252 00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:43,852 [chuckles ruefully] 253 00:10:44,395 --> 00:10:46,980 Our government does not condone that kind of behavior. 254 00:10:47,064 --> 00:10:50,317 [whispering] Oh, that's right. Fan Bingbing Wesley-Sniped in China. 255 00:10:50,401 --> 00:10:51,985 That was a huge mistake by me. 256 00:10:52,069 --> 00:10:53,696 -[regular voice] Well… -That's my bad. 257 00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:56,907 Fan Bingbing must have been drinking too much Moutai 258 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,283 when she did her taxes. 259 00:10:58,367 --> 00:11:01,412 [laughs] 260 00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:04,164 -Wanna watch a funny video? -[whispers] Sure. 261 00:11:05,082 --> 00:11:06,250 [whispering] Tom Brady. 262 00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:07,543 [normal voice] Tom Brady. 263 00:11:07,626 --> 00:11:09,002 -Oh, come on. -Oh, yes. Yes. 264 00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:10,671 [Gao] Very good football player. 265 00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:13,340 Yes, he is. He is a living legend. 266 00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:15,259 You like football? 267 00:11:16,093 --> 00:11:17,428 I don't understand it. 268 00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:18,345 Ah. 269 00:11:19,054 --> 00:11:20,264 It's very confusing. 270 00:11:22,266 --> 00:11:24,435 Your daughter is very charming. 271 00:11:26,228 --> 00:11:28,397 [monkey shrieking on video] 272 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,109 Hmm. 273 00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,654 Oh my God. I am so excited you're here. 274 00:11:35,738 --> 00:11:38,157 Feel like I've been going out of my mind with nobody to talk to 275 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:40,159 about what happened up there. 276 00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:41,910 It's kind of wild being back, huh? 277 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,539 They threw a parade for us in six different cities. 278 00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:47,583 -We're national heroes. -Ugh. 279 00:11:47,666 --> 00:11:49,501 Doesn't it feel so fake though? 280 00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:54,173 I mean, 'cause you and I both know what went down was not exactly ideal. 281 00:11:54,256 --> 00:11:55,090 [chuckles] 282 00:11:56,008 --> 00:11:58,761 We… We witnessed horrible, private things. 283 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:03,348 A man ate a bird. We drank each other's urine. 284 00:12:04,683 --> 00:12:06,518 But now we drink mimosas. 285 00:12:06,602 --> 00:12:08,145 Sure. Um… 286 00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:11,940 But, I mean, you just, like, cry randomly at night sometimes, right? 287 00:12:12,024 --> 00:12:12,900 -No. -No? 288 00:12:12,983 --> 00:12:15,152 No. Actually, that's very sad. 289 00:12:15,819 --> 00:12:17,905 You should talk to somebody about that. 290 00:12:17,988 --> 00:12:19,239 [Angela] Yeah, probably. 291 00:12:19,323 --> 00:12:20,949 But what about all the, like, lies? 292 00:12:21,033 --> 00:12:23,368 Like selling our governments' bullshit propaganda? 293 00:12:23,452 --> 00:12:24,620 Propaganda? 294 00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:27,498 Hey, Dr. Lim. What's up? 295 00:12:27,581 --> 00:12:30,459 We were on the moon with you, bro. Remember us? 296 00:12:32,628 --> 00:12:33,670 No. 297 00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:36,757 Excuse me. 298 00:12:37,299 --> 00:12:39,301 You should enjoy the celebration. 299 00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:41,011 It's quite the special occasion. 300 00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,472 Will do. Can't beat an open bar. 301 00:12:46,141 --> 00:12:49,019 [suspenseful music playing] 302 00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:55,400 'Sup? 303 00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:57,736 After you. 304 00:12:59,196 --> 00:13:01,198 [continues soft melody] 305 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,373 [Gao] This looks wonderful. 306 00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:13,669 We certainly weren't expecting authentic Chinese food in Wild Horse. 307 00:13:13,752 --> 00:13:16,547 Well, I guess we're not all cowboys, huh? 308 00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:17,673 [chuckling] 309 00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:21,885 After you. 310 00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:23,220 [Gao, softly] Ah… 311 00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:38,277 Oh, come on. It's very delicate tofu. 312 00:13:40,112 --> 00:13:41,780 [softly] Just use your… Just use a fork. 313 00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:44,283 [whispers] I might as well just burn a cross on his lawn. 314 00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:47,786 -[Tony whispers] I'll pick up the bottom. -No, I got it. I got it. I got it. 315 00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:51,039 [Tony] I'll help you out. Just get down… 316 00:13:51,123 --> 00:13:52,875 -[Mark] Oh… -Gingerly, gingerly, gingerly… 317 00:13:52,958 --> 00:13:54,126 [exhales] 318 00:13:54,209 --> 00:13:56,211 -[Mark] I got it. -[Erin groans softly] 319 00:13:58,338 --> 00:13:59,339 Oh, f… 320 00:13:59,882 --> 00:14:01,091 [Brad stops playing music] 321 00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:03,218 [Mark breathes shakily] 322 00:14:03,802 --> 00:14:06,096 -[Brad plays squeaky notes] -[glass clinking] 323 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:08,682 Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. 324 00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:09,600 Mm! 325 00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:11,935 Delicious. 326 00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:13,437 [Erin sighs] 327 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,981 [Brad resumes playing normally] 328 00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:19,026 How did that go? 329 00:14:19,109 --> 00:14:20,360 -Super nice guy. -Great. 330 00:14:20,444 --> 00:14:23,697 High-level astrophysicist. He's an Olympic triathlete. 331 00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:26,491 Even gave me his WeChat contact so he can hang out with me in Beijing. 332 00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:28,368 -You know what he's doing, right? -What? 333 00:14:28,452 --> 00:14:30,913 He's gassing you up so you'll let your guard down, then, "Ffft!" 334 00:14:30,996 --> 00:14:33,206 He's gonna steal your girl. It's a classic move. 335 00:14:34,166 --> 00:14:35,918 So you really think he's into Angela? 336 00:14:36,001 --> 00:14:39,504 There's, like, a thousand memes of her. She's "Drummer Moon Girl," dude. 337 00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:42,090 -[taps glass] -[music stops] 338 00:14:42,174 --> 00:14:43,884 Thank you, General Gregory. 339 00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:46,970 That's what I call music. 340 00:14:47,763 --> 00:14:52,434 I would like to propose a toast to our esteemed guests. 341 00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:56,897 May our friendship be as great as your wall. 342 00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:59,566 Neighbors on Earth. 343 00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:03,236 Oh. All right. 344 00:15:04,613 --> 00:15:06,782 [indistinct chatter] 345 00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:14,998 And to the scientists and astronauts of both of our countries 346 00:15:15,082 --> 00:15:19,419 as they explore space and see what's out there together. 347 00:15:20,045 --> 00:15:21,213 [agreeable murmurs] 348 00:15:21,296 --> 00:15:25,842 And I would like to welcome our guest of honor this evening. 349 00:15:27,094 --> 00:15:28,720 -A true pioneer. -[table squeaks] 350 00:15:28,804 --> 00:15:32,641 One of the original 12 heroic Americans 351 00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:34,518 who walked on the moon, 352 00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:36,728 a warm welcome to Gus Kelly. 353 00:15:36,812 --> 00:15:37,729 Cheers. 354 00:15:37,813 --> 00:15:40,691 [applause] 355 00:15:45,904 --> 00:15:48,115 Very good performance on the moon. 356 00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:50,283 Very believable. 357 00:15:51,034 --> 00:15:53,620 He's a real astronaut, you imbecile. 358 00:15:53,704 --> 00:15:55,080 -Adrian… -[low murmurs] 359 00:15:56,373 --> 00:15:58,291 -[table scraping loudly] -Ow. 360 00:15:59,918 --> 00:16:01,586 I have a toast. 361 00:16:02,796 --> 00:16:07,134 To a local celebrity and his acting talent. 362 00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:08,051 Shao Jun. 363 00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:10,178 Haven't I seen him in the movies? 364 00:16:10,262 --> 00:16:12,347 Maybe Independence Day? 365 00:16:12,431 --> 00:16:15,058 Oh, the Space Jam with Michael Jordan. 366 00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:16,768 [overlapping murmurs] 367 00:16:16,852 --> 00:16:19,396 I put my boots on the moon, 368 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:23,692 and I'll put my boot up your ass if you don't shut up. 369 00:16:23,775 --> 00:16:25,318 Well put, Commander. 370 00:16:25,402 --> 00:16:28,405 Maybe you should bring your stunt double for that. 371 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:29,698 -Yeah. -[table bangs] 372 00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:31,825 -[people gasping] -[camera clicking] 373 00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:35,829 Shit. All righty. Hold on. Adrian. Adrian. 374 00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:37,289 Stop it! 375 00:16:37,372 --> 00:16:38,457 He started it. 376 00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:39,499 Time to go. 377 00:16:40,042 --> 00:16:41,626 -[Mark] All right. Okay. -Come on. 378 00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:44,171 [Tony] You don't have to leave. We have dessert coming. No? 379 00:16:44,254 --> 00:16:45,380 [Chan] Yep. Red bean cake. 380 00:16:45,464 --> 00:16:46,548 [indistinct chatter] 381 00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:48,717 [sighs] General Gao. Uh… 382 00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:51,386 -[Gao exhales] -[Mark sighs] 383 00:16:51,470 --> 00:16:54,514 -General Naird. That was-- -[exhales heavily] 384 00:16:54,598 --> 00:16:57,476 What is the football term? A fumble. 385 00:16:57,559 --> 00:16:59,352 My sincere apologies, General. 386 00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:02,439 You know how headstrong these scientists can be. 387 00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:03,732 I do. 388 00:17:03,815 --> 00:17:06,359 Dr. Zhang is a constant nag in my ear. 389 00:17:06,443 --> 00:17:08,653 And mine is a pain in the ass. 390 00:17:08,737 --> 00:17:09,863 Can't live with them 391 00:17:09,946 --> 00:17:12,240 -but you can't shoot them. -Can't shoot them. 392 00:17:12,324 --> 00:17:13,742 [laughs] 393 00:17:14,451 --> 00:17:17,496 I still have time for a drink. 394 00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:19,206 If you want, 395 00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:22,709 maybe we can share a bottle of Moutai. 396 00:17:23,794 --> 00:17:25,087 It would be my pleasure. 397 00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:31,301 -No way he can handle the Moutai. -Mm. 398 00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:34,012 After three drinks, we get whatever we want. 399 00:17:35,889 --> 00:17:37,891 Chinese people love to do business over drinks, 400 00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:40,769 but you gotta handle your alcohol so you don't get the short end of the deal. 401 00:17:40,852 --> 00:17:41,770 I'll be fine. 402 00:17:41,853 --> 00:17:45,315 No, Moutai's a totally different beast. One time, I drank half a bottle… 403 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:48,235 I ended up in a quinceañera dressed as Abraham Lincoln. 404 00:17:48,318 --> 00:17:51,029 General, to be safe, you should coat your tongue with cod liver oil. 405 00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:53,949 -Isn't that from I Love Lucy? -That's where I saw it. Huh, great minds. 406 00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:55,826 No. You just chug a bottle of Pedialyte. 407 00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:57,119 How would you know about that? 408 00:17:57,202 --> 00:17:58,620 Know how you fix your phone in rice? 409 00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:00,497 Eat rice. Your stomach becomes the phone. 410 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:04,918 Maybe a teaspoon of yeast in some yogurt. That'll break down the enzymes. 411 00:18:05,001 --> 00:18:07,504 I should probably call an ambulance now, get it out of the way. 412 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:10,632 I don't need any of that. I know how to hold my liquor. Everybody out. 413 00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:12,050 -Brad, Erin? -Yeah. 414 00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:14,928 Brad, we have known each other a long time. 415 00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:16,513 -You know when I've hit my limit. -Yes. 416 00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,682 When that time comes, give Erin the signal. 417 00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:19,683 Yes, General. 418 00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:21,059 Okay. We've got you, Dad. 419 00:18:21,143 --> 00:18:23,145 We're gonna talk about the Pedialyte later. 420 00:18:31,570 --> 00:18:32,529 Gānbēi. 421 00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:37,951 -Mmm. Very smooth. -[Gao exhales] 422 00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:39,870 I'm glad you're enjoying it. 423 00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:42,956 -Another? -Why not? 424 00:18:47,169 --> 00:18:49,379 [classic Western dueling music plays] 425 00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,131 [Gao exhales dramatically] 426 00:18:51,214 --> 00:18:55,802 We came here to make a deal, General, so I will make it simple from my end. 427 00:18:55,886 --> 00:19:00,348 60/40 split on the Sea of Tranquility, but we keep the H2. 428 00:19:00,432 --> 00:19:03,935 70/30 for us, and we split the H2 50/50. 429 00:19:04,019 --> 00:19:06,104 60/40, you can have 20% of H2. 430 00:19:06,188 --> 00:19:08,148 No, no, no, no, no, no. That's not gonna work. 431 00:19:08,231 --> 00:19:11,067 We are not going to take the short end of this deal, General. 432 00:19:12,444 --> 00:19:14,237 I'm not sure if you're aware of it or not, 433 00:19:14,321 --> 00:19:17,240 but the United States has the highest GDP in the world. 434 00:19:18,283 --> 00:19:20,118 Not for long. 435 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:24,206 [Western dueling music continues] 436 00:19:28,919 --> 00:19:31,379 [man whistling tune] 437 00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:34,716 Hello. 438 00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:35,884 -Hey. -Hi. 439 00:19:35,967 --> 00:19:37,052 [both chuckle] 440 00:19:37,552 --> 00:19:40,055 So, uh, Dr. Lim, huh? 441 00:19:40,889 --> 00:19:43,934 Yeah. He's, uh, nice. 442 00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:45,393 Good-looking guy too. 443 00:19:45,977 --> 00:19:46,811 Oh, is he? 444 00:19:46,895 --> 00:19:51,983 I guess. I mean, if you're into, uh, tall astrophysicists, you know. 445 00:19:52,067 --> 00:19:55,779 I mean, some women prefer shorter men who haven't been on the moon. 446 00:19:56,613 --> 00:19:58,823 You know, I'm not into Dr. Lim. 447 00:19:58,907 --> 00:20:00,283 -So… -Mm! 448 00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:03,453 Yeah, no, we're, um, you know, friends. 449 00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:04,454 At best. 450 00:20:05,163 --> 00:20:07,540 Why do guys always think a woman has to be, like, with a dude? 451 00:20:07,624 --> 00:20:10,335 -You see a guy, "Are you with him?" -No. That's not what I'm saying. 452 00:20:10,418 --> 00:20:13,171 I'm just making an observation because I'm a scientis… 453 00:20:13,255 --> 00:20:14,172 I'm leaving. 454 00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:15,090 …t. 455 00:20:19,094 --> 00:20:20,845 She put him in the friend zone. 456 00:20:20,929 --> 00:20:21,805 [laughs] 457 00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:23,265 [exclaims excitedly] 458 00:20:24,015 --> 00:20:24,849 [Mark] Mm. 459 00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:29,479 [sighs heavily] 70/30 on H2. Final offer. 460 00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,232 [exhales] 461 00:20:34,693 --> 00:20:36,861 General, how old is your son? 462 00:20:37,654 --> 00:20:38,655 Jing? 463 00:20:40,198 --> 00:20:41,574 He just turned ten. 464 00:20:41,658 --> 00:20:43,076 [Mark whispers] Ten. 465 00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:48,123 [laughs] I remember when Erin was ten. She was such a little peach. 466 00:20:48,206 --> 00:20:51,918 Your daughter is lovely, General. You're a lucky man. 467 00:20:52,002 --> 00:20:53,503 Yeah, she's a good kid. 468 00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:57,340 She just hasn't been her best recently. 469 00:20:57,424 --> 00:20:58,967 It's probably my fault. 470 00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:01,553 The job, you know. Moving around so much. 471 00:21:01,636 --> 00:21:03,596 Don't blame yourself, General. 472 00:21:04,723 --> 00:21:08,268 Your work is important to your country. 473 00:21:08,351 --> 00:21:09,894 Well, I hope you're right. 474 00:21:11,313 --> 00:21:15,025 You know as well as anybody that it's hard to serve your country 475 00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:16,276 and be a good dad. 476 00:21:17,402 --> 00:21:19,279 My son once said to me, 477 00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:22,991 "Just because you are the general at work 478 00:21:23,074 --> 00:21:25,160 doesn't make you the general at home." 479 00:21:25,243 --> 00:21:26,786 [laughs] 480 00:21:26,870 --> 00:21:30,123 Erin said the exact same thing to me when she was in sixth grade. 481 00:21:30,206 --> 00:21:31,333 The little shit. 482 00:21:32,917 --> 00:21:33,960 [glasses clink] 483 00:21:36,921 --> 00:21:37,922 [sighs] 484 00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:41,760 General, what do you say we put our differences aside 485 00:21:41,843 --> 00:21:45,221 and just split this damn thing down the middle? 50/50. 486 00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:49,392 For the next generation. For Jing, for Erin. 487 00:21:54,647 --> 00:21:56,232 [Gao taps knuckles on table] 488 00:22:00,070 --> 00:22:02,238 -[softly] Oh! They're standing. -I can see that. 489 00:22:02,906 --> 00:22:06,117 General, has anyone ever told you 490 00:22:06,201 --> 00:22:09,871 that you have beautiful eyes? 491 00:22:11,623 --> 00:22:14,250 [softly] Mayday! Mayday! Extract the asset. 492 00:22:14,334 --> 00:22:15,460 Okay. Okay. 493 00:22:17,128 --> 00:22:18,588 Okay. 494 00:22:19,381 --> 00:22:21,674 -We did it. We did it, honey. -Yeah? All right. 495 00:22:21,758 --> 00:22:24,052 -Brad, you magnificent bastard. -Thank you, sir. 496 00:22:24,135 --> 00:22:26,262 Oh! General Gao's such a nice guy. 497 00:22:26,346 --> 00:22:27,639 -Cucumbers. -No, no, no. 498 00:22:27,722 --> 00:22:28,890 Ah. Mmm. 499 00:22:28,973 --> 00:22:29,849 [Erin] God! 500 00:22:30,642 --> 00:22:31,559 [thuds] 501 00:22:32,435 --> 00:22:34,062 -[Mark burps] -Ugh. 502 00:22:34,145 --> 00:22:36,106 -[Mark laughs] -[Erin chuckles] 503 00:22:36,189 --> 00:22:38,608 Oh, Erin, Erin, Erin, Erin. 504 00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:41,236 You know, you can always talk to me. Hmm. 505 00:22:41,319 --> 00:22:44,823 About anything, honey. Boys, girls, dinosaurs. 506 00:22:45,407 --> 00:22:47,909 Okay. Dad. [laughs] You're wasted. 507 00:22:47,992 --> 00:22:49,786 No. I'm… Yeah. 508 00:22:50,370 --> 00:22:52,372 [chuckles] 509 00:22:53,081 --> 00:22:55,208 Erin, how did you know to tap on the table? 510 00:22:55,291 --> 00:22:56,292 How did you know that? 511 00:22:56,376 --> 00:23:00,672 Well, my best friend was Chinese. Back in D.C. 512 00:23:00,755 --> 00:23:05,427 -You know, when I used to have friends. -Wow! Friends. I have some friends. 513 00:23:05,510 --> 00:23:07,637 My… Your mom is my friend. 514 00:23:08,430 --> 00:23:10,932 Dr. Mallory's my friend. Brad. Chan. 515 00:23:12,016 --> 00:23:13,768 The woman from the cafeteria. 516 00:23:13,852 --> 00:23:17,355 -Those are just people you work with, Dad. -Hashtag blessed. 517 00:23:17,439 --> 00:23:18,356 Blergh. 518 00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:21,192 -God, you are drunk. -Oh man. Okay. Pull over, honey. 519 00:23:21,276 --> 00:23:23,778 Pull over. Pull over. I'm gonna go… I'm gonna. I'm gonna ralph. 520 00:23:23,862 --> 00:23:25,405 -Oh God. -I'm gonna… I'm gonna ral-- 521 00:23:25,488 --> 00:23:26,406 [moans] 522 00:23:26,489 --> 00:23:27,824 -[heaves] -[Erin] You okay? 523 00:23:28,533 --> 00:23:30,577 [gagging dramatically] 524 00:23:30,660 --> 00:23:32,704 Oh no. No. No. False alarm. 525 00:23:33,455 --> 00:23:35,457 -Go ahead. Whew. -Can I-- Okay. 526 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:38,543 Whew. I thought I was gonna… Whew. 527 00:23:39,502 --> 00:23:41,838 I "Mou-tied" one on. Okay, pull over, hon. 528 00:23:41,921 --> 00:23:44,424 -Oh God. -Pull over. I gotta go. It's gonna happen. 529 00:23:44,507 --> 00:23:46,176 [heaving] 530 00:23:46,259 --> 00:23:48,261 [grunting] 531 00:23:48,344 --> 00:23:49,179 Oh… 532 00:23:49,262 --> 00:23:50,346 [retching] 533 00:23:51,139 --> 00:23:53,475 Nope. Nothin'. Nothin'. 534 00:23:53,558 --> 00:23:55,393 -[Mark] Here we go! -All right. You ready? 535 00:23:55,477 --> 00:23:58,438 -Okay, watch out. Okay, be careful. -Here we go, go, go, go, go. 536 00:23:58,521 --> 00:24:00,064 Let's go. 537 00:24:00,148 --> 00:24:01,483 That's good. I'm gonna go in here. 538 00:24:01,566 --> 00:24:02,901 -Okay. -Let's do that. 539 00:24:02,984 --> 00:24:05,028 -Okay. -I need a little couchy-wowchy. 540 00:24:05,111 --> 00:24:06,821 [Erin] All right. Let's go. Be careful. 541 00:24:06,905 --> 00:24:10,074 -I'm on the couch. Oh! -All right. Let's take your shoes off. 542 00:24:10,158 --> 00:24:12,118 -Yeah? -Okay. Thank you. There are my toes. 543 00:24:12,202 --> 00:24:16,164 -[laughs] Yeah. Those are your toes. -There they are. That was a good night. 544 00:24:16,247 --> 00:24:19,751 -Big win. Big win for Space Force. -Yeah. [chuckles] 545 00:24:19,834 --> 00:24:22,128 -Feels good to have a win. -Yeah. 546 00:24:22,212 --> 00:24:23,880 -You know who's funny? -Who? 547 00:24:23,963 --> 00:24:25,298 Brad. [snorting] 548 00:24:25,381 --> 00:24:28,343 Yeah. Brad is definitely something. 549 00:24:28,426 --> 00:24:31,513 [laughing] 550 00:24:32,555 --> 00:24:34,057 Oh! [sighs] 551 00:24:35,058 --> 00:24:36,267 Hey. 552 00:24:36,351 --> 00:24:37,393 -Hey. -Hey, hon. 553 00:24:38,478 --> 00:24:39,812 I'm really… [exhales] 554 00:24:40,438 --> 00:24:42,315 I was really proud of you tonight. 555 00:24:43,900 --> 00:24:46,611 -[soft guitar notes play] -You did a great job. 556 00:24:48,279 --> 00:24:50,198 [voice breaks] And I think that sometimes… 557 00:24:52,075 --> 00:24:53,910 I don't give you enough credit. 558 00:24:54,911 --> 00:24:57,247 I'm sorry. Oh God. 559 00:24:57,330 --> 00:25:00,333 I don't want you to see… Ugh. All right. I wanna go to sleep. 560 00:25:00,917 --> 00:25:03,211 I am not gonna remember any of this. 561 00:25:03,294 --> 00:25:05,213 [soft guitar notes continue] 562 00:25:07,674 --> 00:25:08,758 It's okay. 563 00:25:10,843 --> 00:25:11,678 I will. 564 00:25:19,811 --> 00:25:22,897 [snorting] 565 00:25:22,981 --> 00:25:23,982 Brad. 566 00:25:24,065 --> 00:25:26,067 [snort-chortling] 567 00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:28,236 Mmm. 568 00:25:31,322 --> 00:25:35,243 [theme music playing]