1
00:00:06,257 --> 00:00:08,718
‎NETFLIX 影集

2
00:00:16,976 --> 00:00:19,520
‎（三個月後）

3
00:00:38,873 --> 00:00:41,084
‎-左，左
‎-真是無聊

4
00:00:41,167 --> 00:00:42,752
‎我想稍微炒熱氣氛

5
00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:49,467
‎聽證會五分鐘後開始
‎作證前請交出手機

6
00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:51,594
‎爸，我在五角大廈出席聽證會

7
00:00:51,677 --> 00:00:53,221
‎太空部隊在受審

8
00:00:54,013 --> 00:00:57,350
‎我在太空部隊工作，爸
‎我跟你說過很多次了

9
00:00:57,850 --> 00:01:00,228
‎沒有，我不知道
‎這邊有沒有魚骨燒烤餐廳

10
00:01:00,311 --> 00:01:01,854
‎可能佛羅里達才有

11
00:01:02,355 --> 00:01:04,648
‎如果我有去的話，我會點蟹腳的

12
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,859
‎好，我先掛了，我愛你

13
00:01:08,903 --> 00:01:09,987
‎先生，您的手機

14
00:01:10,071 --> 00:01:10,988
‎沒問題

15
00:01:12,031 --> 00:01:13,533
‎現在嗎？好啊

16
00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:18,162
‎不好意思，真是的，妳有看到嗎？

17
00:01:19,664 --> 00:01:22,166
‎妳看看，我的手抓著手機抽筋了

18
00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:24,836
‎-我還是拿著手機比較省事
‎-交給她，孩子

19
00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:27,380
‎-那我怎麼知道時間？
‎-我有手錶

20
00:01:27,463 --> 00:01:30,174
‎-你幹嘛不給她你的手機？
‎-我是四星將軍

21
00:01:31,175 --> 00:01:32,635
‎這樣我怎麼追上時事？

22
00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:34,137
‎你可以的，兄弟

23
00:01:34,220 --> 00:01:36,097
‎-我們對你有信心
‎-對，我知道

24
00:01:37,515 --> 00:01:39,934
‎謝謝，真不好意思，這給妳

25
00:01:42,353 --> 00:01:44,438
‎-我做不到
‎-煩死了，拿來

26
00:01:46,190 --> 00:01:47,942
‎奈德將軍，請跟我來

27
00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:49,610
‎國防部長，首先

28
00:01:49,694 --> 00:01:52,989
‎我想先恭喜您升職

29
00:01:53,072 --> 00:01:54,824
‎我還要說

30
00:01:54,907 --> 00:01:59,495
‎我很期待與您以及新行政團隊共事

31
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:01,372
‎再看看吧

32
00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:06,043
‎我們今天是要決定太空部隊的去留

33
00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:08,337
‎以及由誰統率

34
00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:14,385
‎奈德將軍，能否請你詳盡精確地

35
00:02:15,428 --> 00:02:18,347
‎描述你對那天事發經過的回憶

36
00:02:18,431 --> 00:02:19,432
‎是，長官

37
00:02:20,850 --> 00:02:23,603
‎那天的開端就像平常一樣

38
00:02:23,686 --> 00:02:26,606
‎我洗了澡，然後刮鬍子

39
00:02:26,689 --> 00:02:29,734
‎吃了英式瑪芬配橘子果醬

40
00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:32,195
‎不對，等一下，我們的果醬剛吃完

41
00:02:32,278 --> 00:02:34,572
‎艾琳，妳把橘子果醬都吃完了？

42
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:35,656
‎什麼？

43
00:02:35,740 --> 00:02:38,242
‎妳把橘子果醬都吃完了？

44
00:02:38,784 --> 00:02:40,620
‎對，好像是

45
00:02:40,703 --> 00:02:43,789
‎拜託妳不要把空瓶子放回冰箱

46
00:02:44,624 --> 00:02:47,251
‎-我們還有其他的果醬或果凍嗎？
‎-什麼？

47
00:02:47,335 --> 00:02:52,048
‎我們還有其他的果醬或果凍嗎？

48
00:02:52,131 --> 00:02:52,965
‎-將軍？
‎-是

49
00:02:53,049 --> 00:02:55,259
‎抱歉，你抓錯重點了

50
00:02:55,343 --> 00:02:57,303
‎-可以跳過前面嗎？
‎-當然

51
00:02:57,386 --> 00:03:00,014
‎-根據桂伯斯頓將軍的證詞…
‎-奶油

52
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:05,186
‎我的瑪芬最後抹了奶油，一樣好吃

53
00:03:06,604 --> 00:03:10,274
‎好，根據桂伯斯頓將軍的證詞

54
00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:13,611
‎中國在月球褻瀆美國國旗

55
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:18,282
‎你奉命復仇，摧毀中國的月球基地

56
00:03:18,366 --> 00:03:19,408
‎而你拒絕了

57
00:03:19,492 --> 00:03:21,369
‎-是的
‎-承認了

58
00:03:21,452 --> 00:03:24,038
‎他違反直接命令，溜之大吉

59
00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:27,416
‎但我馬上回到基地，那個我自願

60
00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:29,460
‎交出監管權給桂伯斯頓將軍的地方

61
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:32,255
‎我們得想辦法，太空人要缺氧了

62
00:03:32,338 --> 00:03:34,715
‎這不用你煩惱，叛徒

63
00:03:34,799 --> 00:03:36,133
‎有必要這樣嗎？

64
00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:37,885
‎你們有逃走的可能

65
00:03:37,969 --> 00:03:40,096
‎但拖著裝滿無糖香草汽水的小冰箱

66
00:03:40,179 --> 00:03:42,598
‎插翅也難飛，對吧？

67
00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:46,519
‎不好意思

68
00:03:46,602 --> 00:03:48,104
‎那我就不客氣了

69
00:03:49,814 --> 00:03:51,649
‎你怎麼喝得下那種垃圾？

70
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:53,734
‎用我的嘴，好好看，學著點

71
00:03:55,695 --> 00:03:58,531
‎那是沒有層次的沙士

72
00:03:58,614 --> 00:04:02,285
‎那是高果糖的人類增肥劑

73
00:04:02,368 --> 00:04:06,080
‎療養院最愛的飲料

74
00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:10,793
‎布萊德，這東西被市場否決有其原因

75
00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:14,714
‎那是液態的奶油蛋糕

76
00:04:14,797 --> 00:04:19,302
‎那是嬰兒拉出來的白脫乳

77
00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:20,469
‎這是怎麼回事？

78
00:04:21,262 --> 00:04:25,975
‎好極了，我們現在知道
‎香草汽水不對馬洛里博士的口味

79
00:04:26,642 --> 00:04:28,894
‎我相信那是壓力造成的崩潰

80
00:04:28,978 --> 00:04:32,189
‎桂伯斯頓將軍違背我們的意願
‎扣留我和我的團隊

81
00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:34,400
‎很溫馨的睡前故事，奈德

82
00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:36,444
‎夠了，桂伯斯頓將軍

83
00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:38,863
‎奈德將軍，你是否知道

84
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:43,659
‎桂伯斯頓將軍指控你
‎不當監禁及叛亂嗎？

85
00:04:43,743 --> 00:04:44,785
‎兩者皆是

86
00:04:45,494 --> 00:04:46,912
‎這是指你都知道？

87
00:04:47,705 --> 00:04:48,748
‎是的

88
00:04:49,582 --> 00:04:50,666
‎第二個是是什麼？

89
00:04:50,750 --> 00:04:51,959
‎他指控我

90
00:04:52,043 --> 00:04:54,295
‎剩下的東西我全都不同意

91
00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:06,223
‎糟糕

92
00:05:06,307 --> 00:05:07,433
‎不好意思

93
00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:10,603
‎我看到妳吐在風車草裡

94
00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:12,355
‎妳還好吧？

95
00:05:12,438 --> 00:05:16,609
‎對，只是還在適應回到地球

96
00:05:17,526 --> 00:05:18,778
‎睡不著

97
00:05:18,861 --> 00:05:22,448
‎地球很吵，色彩繽紛

98
00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:24,492
‎要再多做些檢查嗎？

99
00:05:24,575 --> 00:05:26,285
‎神經、心理方面？

100
00:05:26,369 --> 00:05:27,536
‎不用，我很好

101
00:05:27,620 --> 00:05:28,871
‎對，她很好

102
00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:31,123
‎這對太空人來說完全正常

103
00:05:31,207 --> 00:05:33,334
‎我從牙買加回來時也不一樣

104
00:05:33,417 --> 00:05:35,711
‎有好幾週的時間
‎什麼吃起來都像牙買加風味醬

105
00:05:35,795 --> 00:05:38,672
‎我要請你別拿我在月球的經歷

106
00:05:38,756 --> 00:05:40,132
‎跟你的牙買加之旅相比

107
00:05:40,216 --> 00:05:44,553
‎我有一次在韋爾高山症超嚴重
‎連喝康普茶都能醉倒

108
00:05:44,637 --> 00:05:48,766
‎我們班有個女生太嗨
‎一頭撞上玻璃門

109
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:51,268
‎很好，謝謝你們
‎大家都能對我的經歷感同身受

110
00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:52,686
‎謝謝你們的意見

111
00:05:54,063 --> 00:05:56,524
‎-將軍來了
‎-將軍，情況如何？

112
00:05:56,607 --> 00:05:59,443
‎沒事了

113
00:05:59,944 --> 00:06:02,071
‎-只是跟他們實話實說
‎-慘了

114
00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:04,573
‎-我們完蛋了
‎-他不能不說實話

115
00:06:04,657 --> 00:06:08,202
‎他是我媽官司的檢方主要證人

116
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:10,704
‎親愛的，我很愛她，但妳媽是重行犯

117
00:06:10,788 --> 00:06:13,666
‎我希望你們都能進去說實話

118
00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:18,254
‎除了我很肯定桂伯斯頓
‎戴著瓷牙貼片在裡面胡說八道

119
00:06:18,337 --> 00:06:20,214
‎那不是桂伯斯頓的真牙？

120
00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:22,550
‎真實度跟他說的話一樣

121
00:06:22,633 --> 00:06:26,053
‎死騙子，長官
‎這樣吧，我也要說假話

122
00:06:26,137 --> 00:06:28,848
‎不行，布萊德，我要你實話實說

123
00:06:28,931 --> 00:06:31,225
‎好，知道了，說實話

124
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,270
‎幹嘛對我眨眼？

125
00:06:34,353 --> 00:06:35,479
‎我沒有

126
00:06:36,397 --> 00:06:37,440
‎你又對我眨眼了

127
00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:39,066
‎-有嗎？
‎-有

128
00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:40,609
‎不行

129
00:06:40,693 --> 00:06:41,944
‎-布萊德
‎-怎麼了？

130
00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:45,197
‎-答應我你會實話實說
‎-實話，我會實說

131
00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:51,162
‎各位聽過馬克奈德自稱為好人

132
00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:52,538
‎大家應該稱頌他

133
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:56,750
‎忽略在月球攻擊中國的行政命令

134
00:06:56,834 --> 00:06:59,295
‎各位知道我們的國家出了什麼問題？

135
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:01,964
‎馬克奈德

136
00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:03,340
‎他太弱了

137
00:07:03,841 --> 00:07:06,510
‎他穿八號鞋

138
00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:09,722
‎腳小如童的人能信得過嗎？

139
00:07:10,306 --> 00:07:11,223
‎有道理

140
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:17,062
‎你們怎麼能泰然自若？
‎不覺得皮膚怪怪的？

141
00:07:18,147 --> 00:07:19,899
‎基克進去一陣了

142
00:07:19,982 --> 00:07:22,902
‎我在猜，雖然沒有手機能確認，但…

143
00:07:22,985 --> 00:07:23,944
‎這可不是好兆頭

144
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,447
‎但不見得是壞事

145
00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:30,284
‎說不定他心臟病發
‎有人正在救他之類的

146
00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:32,620
‎我只想跟太空鬧劇隊打聲招呼

147
00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:37,291
‎放心，我一定會
‎讓妳爸的牢房在妳媽附近

148
00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:39,376
‎-搞什麼？
‎-你有什麼毛病？

149
00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:41,045
‎-吃屎啦
‎-夠了喔，基克

150
00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:43,464
‎好，我說錯話了，我是要說

151
00:07:44,173 --> 00:07:46,759
‎這樣妳去監獄探訪父母時會比較方便

152
00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:48,886
‎-再去吃屎
‎-這人有什麼毛病？

153
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,262
‎讓我借用你的手機

154
00:07:50,346 --> 00:07:52,014
‎她還小，你這混蛋

155
00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:54,725
‎天啊，我爸真的要去坐牢了嗎？

156
00:07:56,227 --> 00:07:57,520
‎馬洛里博士？換你了

157
00:07:59,438 --> 00:08:01,023
‎不用擔心，各位朋友

158
00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:04,401
‎法律訴訟是心靈戰

159
00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:06,362
‎即便有，也很少

160
00:08:06,445 --> 00:08:10,699
‎像我這樣足智多謀的人

161
00:08:11,575 --> 00:08:12,493
‎對

162
00:08:12,576 --> 00:08:15,079
‎桂伯斯頓將軍確實有個計畫

163
00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:18,958
‎我不小心聽到的邪惡計畫

164
00:08:19,041 --> 00:08:21,335
‎那是魯莽的詭計

165
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:25,548
‎讓美國太空人留在月球上等死

166
00:08:26,090 --> 00:08:26,924
‎這樣啊

167
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,718
‎所以，是怎樣？

168
00:08:29,802 --> 00:08:32,471
‎這是你對桂伯斯頓將軍的片面之詞

169
00:08:32,972 --> 00:08:34,682
‎有錄音證詞嗎？

170
00:08:34,765 --> 00:08:35,724
‎沒有

171
00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:38,018
‎沒有，長官，我沒有

172
00:08:38,561 --> 00:08:44,108
‎但桂伯斯頓是軍事類尼安德塔人

173
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:45,651
‎我可是我

174
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:48,070
‎我也是軍人，馬洛里博士

175
00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:50,698
‎光榮服役23年

176
00:08:50,781 --> 00:08:53,367
‎這樣我算尼安德塔人嗎？

177
00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:54,368
‎不是

178
00:08:54,994 --> 00:09:00,040
‎您誤會了，我相當尊敬尼安德塔人

179
00:09:00,124 --> 00:09:03,961
‎他們其實是高度發展的原始人類

180
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,213
‎具有表徵性思維

181
00:09:08,132 --> 00:09:10,009
‎-爸
‎-嘿，女兒

182
00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:14,054
‎抱歉把妳扯進來

183
00:09:14,138 --> 00:09:16,599
‎沒關係，很高興我在這

184
00:09:16,682 --> 00:09:17,850
‎對，我也是

185
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:24,940
‎如果你入獄，我會怎樣？

186
00:09:25,024 --> 00:09:27,484
‎親愛的，我不會入獄

187
00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:30,029
‎比較像現代的尼安德塔人

188
00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:35,618
‎把原子本身變成戰爭武器，看在…

189
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,246
‎我很抱歉，我…

190
00:09:40,122 --> 00:09:42,416
‎我可能應該…我就不說了

191
00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:44,126
‎不用，麻煩繼續說

192
00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:49,131
‎好，那我就繼續說了
‎因為這樣我就不用感到抱歉

193
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:54,553
‎因為在我看來，那個人從蝌蚪期

194
00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:57,765
‎就再也沒進化過

195
00:09:59,350 --> 00:10:01,310
‎我精彩的證詞…

196
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:03,604
‎得了零分

197
00:10:11,737 --> 00:10:12,571
‎長官

198
00:10:13,072 --> 00:10:14,281
‎如果你去坐牢

199
00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:17,576
‎照顧艾琳會是我的榮幸

200
00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:21,121
‎妳放心，布萊德叔叔會好好照顧妳

201
00:10:25,334 --> 00:10:27,544
‎葛瑞格將軍，他們在等你

202
00:10:29,213 --> 00:10:31,590
‎布萊德，叫你了

203
00:10:31,674 --> 00:10:35,886
‎對，我忘了我是將軍
‎聽到別人這樣叫很怪

204
00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:42,184
‎我在坎昆試過一次帆傘運動

205
00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:44,436
‎但是拖船把我拉得太靠近岸邊

206
00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:47,189
‎結果我撞進皇家瑪雅飯店的八樓

207
00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:48,273
‎很慘

208
00:10:48,357 --> 00:10:50,567
‎我問的是你原先的證詞

209
00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:51,694
‎天啊

210
00:10:52,361 --> 00:10:54,321
‎我以為你問我怎麼少一顆蛋蛋的

211
00:10:54,405 --> 00:10:56,657
‎葛瑞格將軍，桂伯斯頓將軍指控你

212
00:10:56,740 --> 00:11:00,077
‎在所提到的那天把他鎖在廁所裡

213
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:04,748
‎好，我絕對肯定

214
00:11:04,832 --> 00:11:07,751
‎百分之百沒這麼做

215
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:09,628
‎-沒有嗎？
‎-沒有

216
00:11:10,629 --> 00:11:12,756
‎也許這能喚醒你的記憶

217
00:11:14,425 --> 00:11:17,177
‎（美國國防部）

218
00:11:17,261 --> 00:11:18,887
‎走開，讓我先

219
00:11:21,223 --> 00:11:22,057
‎我的天啊

220
00:11:22,141 --> 00:11:22,975
‎抓到了

221
00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:25,018
‎廁所有監視器？

222
00:11:25,102 --> 00:11:25,936
‎搞什麼？

223
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,897
‎-請問那東西在那多久了？
‎-這不是重點

224
00:11:28,981 --> 00:11:31,525
‎-嘿
‎-我知道我們是高度警戒地區

225
00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:33,235
‎立刻放我出去

226
00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:34,236
‎真要命

227
00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:36,864
‎放大，快點放大

228
00:11:36,947 --> 00:11:38,490
‎你還好嗎？

229
00:11:38,574 --> 00:11:40,367
‎還行，很好，一切都很美好

230
00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:45,205
‎大家都說前36小時最難熬

231
00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:47,082
‎36小時？

232
00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:51,503
‎我外甥去夏令營
‎三週不能用任何電子儀器

233
00:11:51,587 --> 00:11:53,881
‎等他回到家，他就接受大自然了

234
00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:56,133
‎-他更能…
‎-去妳的外甥

235
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:57,426
‎-什麼？
‎-東尼

236
00:11:57,509 --> 00:11:59,887
‎他不認識我，也不知道我的煎熬

237
00:11:59,970 --> 00:12:02,055
‎有人想過我喜歡拿著手機嗎？

238
00:12:02,139 --> 00:12:04,808
‎這不是多大的罪惡
‎我就是喜歡手機不離身

239
00:12:04,892 --> 00:12:07,019
‎我想不用就不用，這沒什麼

240
00:12:07,102 --> 00:12:08,896
‎好，那現在不要用

241
00:12:08,979 --> 00:12:11,774
‎我不想不用，我為什麼要不用？

242
00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:14,401
‎手機帶給我幸福快樂

243
00:12:14,485 --> 00:12:16,278
‎-你要喝點水嗎，孩子？
‎-去你媽的水

244
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:18,697
‎水對我有什麼好處？

245
00:12:23,202 --> 00:12:24,203
‎謝謝

246
00:12:24,286 --> 00:12:25,954
‎真不敢相信這招有用

247
00:12:26,038 --> 00:12:29,625
‎我帶提可鳳梨汽水要給妳

248
00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:30,793
‎地方人士的最愛

249
00:12:30,876 --> 00:12:35,130
‎少數真正有價值的地方性飲料

250
00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:37,841
‎真酷，我有水，謝謝你的好意

251
00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:39,092
‎好吧

252
00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:40,427
‎妳還好嗎？

253
00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:45,057
‎妳從月球回來後
‎我就沒跟妳好好聊聊

254
00:12:45,557 --> 00:12:48,393
‎那天很刺激吧？

255
00:12:49,061 --> 00:12:50,604
‎對

256
00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:54,316
‎我忙翻了，所以…

257
00:12:55,234 --> 00:12:56,819
‎也好，忙是好事

258
00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:00,489
‎酷

259
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:05,828
‎唉唷，我感受到“你們有一腿”的氛圍

260
00:13:05,911 --> 00:13:07,788
‎-東尼，消失在我面前
‎-什麼啦？

261
00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:09,748
‎對，快點消失啦，東尼

262
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:22,845
‎我覺得小陳跟安潔菈做了

263
00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:24,596
‎-“做了”？
‎-網交

264
00:13:25,514 --> 00:13:26,932
‎少裝了，性交啊

265
00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:29,476
‎他們有沒有交都不關你的事

266
00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:31,979
‎我同意，八卦要人命

267
00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:33,605
‎謝謝你，意見專家

268
00:13:33,689 --> 00:13:36,024
‎我只是不覺得他們有做

269
00:13:36,108 --> 00:13:38,694
‎他們是專業人士，小陳是科學家

270
00:13:38,777 --> 00:13:41,113
‎-小陳有什麼不好？
‎-科學家有什麼不好？

271
00:13:41,196 --> 00:13:44,950
‎沒有，我只是不想要
‎腦海中出現同事做愛的畫面

272
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:48,620
‎謝了，我正在想像
‎不同的職場同仁做愛

273
00:13:48,704 --> 00:13:51,415
‎-例如誰？
‎-小陳跟安潔菈，布萊德跟安潔菈

274
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:52,457
‎布萊德跟小陳

275
00:13:52,541 --> 00:13:55,335
‎布萊德、基克
‎基克回來跟安潔菈打招呼

276
00:13:55,419 --> 00:13:56,587
‎史嘉匹杜奇先生

277
00:13:58,463 --> 00:13:59,423
‎馬洛里博士

278
00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:03,010
‎好戲上場，寶貝

279
00:14:03,552 --> 00:14:07,014
‎是嗎，好戲上場？
‎想辦法拼過我，我剛表現優異

280
00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:12,394
‎你覺得布萊德的表現優異嗎？

281
00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:13,312
‎沒有

282
00:14:13,395 --> 00:14:15,272
‎聽著，我知道你真正的目的

283
00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:19,818
‎你想知道為何奈德將軍
‎是這份工作的不二人選

284
00:14:19,902 --> 00:14:22,070
‎答案我準備好了

285
00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:23,780
‎請看

286
00:14:23,864 --> 00:14:28,827
‎奈德將軍是唯一能叫普丁快滾的人

287
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:32,331
‎唯一能制止習近平

288
00:14:32,414 --> 00:14:34,041
‎胡作非為的人

289
00:14:34,124 --> 00:14:37,252
‎我想說：“有奈德將軍

290
00:14:37,336 --> 00:14:41,465
‎美國永遠不用害怕”

291
00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:44,801
‎若長官你接受的話
‎我很樂意用這次的機會

292
00:14:44,885 --> 00:14:48,597
‎恭喜你第二次當爺爺

293
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,974
‎-你從哪弄來這張照片？
‎-這是我的專長

294
00:14:51,058 --> 00:14:52,851
‎只要放上網，我就能找得到

295
00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:54,144
‎是這樣嗎？

296
00:14:55,604 --> 00:14:58,273
‎你不是被奈德將軍開除兩次？

297
00:14:58,357 --> 00:15:00,943
‎被你發現了，你怎麼知道的？

298
00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:03,153
‎這是我的專長

299
00:15:04,071 --> 00:15:07,449
‎好，那你要知道奈德將軍脾氣不太好

300
00:15:07,532 --> 00:15:10,327
‎但只要拼命哀嚎得夠久
‎他就會回心轉意

301
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:13,372
‎所以我有被開除嗎？
‎到頭來我還在這，所以…

302
00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:15,832
‎所以他是猶豫不決、性情魯莽的人

303
00:15:15,916 --> 00:15:16,917
‎慢著，什麼？

304
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,418
‎我爸哭得很慘

305
00:15:18,502 --> 00:15:21,630
‎他回到家後
‎才發現我還在我媽的監獄那

306
00:15:22,214 --> 00:15:26,051
‎我爸媽有開放式關係
‎因為我媽在跟監獄管理員交往

307
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:29,721
‎我跟俄羅斯間諜交往了一陣子
‎我爸不太開心

308
00:15:29,805 --> 00:15:32,683
‎當然不用說，他還有夜驚

309
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:36,144
‎-夜驚？
‎-對，我爸睡覺時會有這狀況

310
00:15:36,228 --> 00:15:39,815
‎他會發出很怪的聲音，像這樣

311
00:15:46,405 --> 00:15:51,243
‎我不知道他夢見什麼
‎但聽起來有人在追他

312
00:15:51,326 --> 00:15:55,539
‎他從高處摔下、被人殺害或是殺人

313
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:59,543
‎聽起來有點像他在殺基克
‎但我不該說這件事

314
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,796
‎-他叫我別講出去
‎-謝謝妳抽空，奈德小姐

315
00:16:05,132 --> 00:16:05,966
‎好

316
00:16:10,512 --> 00:16:12,472
‎那孩子完蛋了

317
00:16:13,432 --> 00:16:15,809
‎不是，他們沒有在玩，這是來真的

318
00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:18,186
‎-判決結果呢？
‎-還沒有結果

319
00:16:18,270 --> 00:16:20,230
‎艾琳正在作證

320
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,732
‎天啊，這…

321
00:16:22,399 --> 00:16:26,028
‎如果事情不如預期，瑪姬
‎小琳會怎樣？

322
00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:29,156
‎你不會有事的，你總是做對的事

323
00:16:29,239 --> 00:16:30,073
‎對

324
00:16:30,157 --> 00:16:32,993
‎你在我跟露易絲逃獄後帶我回監獄

325
00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:35,495
‎因為你面臨星際危機

326
00:16:35,579 --> 00:16:36,747
‎親愛的，我們討論過

327
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:41,168
‎我不得不把妳送回監獄
‎因為妳不能隨便逃獄

328
00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:42,836
‎犯了罪就是要服刑

329
00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:44,254
‎你要這麼想我也沒辦法

330
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:48,550
‎奈德太太，妳好啊
‎法克東尼史嘉匹杜奇在此

331
00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:50,343
‎妳好嗎？不介意的話，我問一下

332
00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:51,553
‎現在幾點？

333
00:16:52,554 --> 00:16:53,430
‎2點25分

334
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,348
‎2點25分，現在的熱門話題是什麼？

335
00:16:55,432 --> 00:16:56,266
‎-什麼？
‎-東尼？

336
00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:58,143
‎你不用知道現在的熱門話題

337
00:16:58,226 --> 00:17:00,228
‎-我不用知道
‎-沒事，他沒事

338
00:17:00,312 --> 00:17:01,980
‎瑪姬，好久不見

339
00:17:02,064 --> 00:17:03,607
‎嗨，布萊德

340
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:04,900
‎監獄還好嗎？

341
00:17:04,983 --> 00:17:06,568
‎跟軍隊很像

342
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:09,071
‎有組織架構，會發制服

343
00:17:09,154 --> 00:17:12,657
‎如果你投入時間和努力就會得到頭銜

344
00:17:12,741 --> 00:17:14,950
‎可以從某個人的小囉嘍

345
00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:18,412
‎成為幫派的一份子
‎再到有小囉嘍的幫派份子

346
00:17:18,497 --> 00:17:19,456
‎那是媽媽嗎？

347
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:20,665
‎那是我女兒嗎？

348
00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:22,708
‎艾琳，讓我看看妳的臉

349
00:17:23,627 --> 00:17:25,962
‎艾琳寶貝，不會有事的

350
00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,090
‎妳又不知道

351
00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:29,299
‎妳說的對，沒錯

352
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:32,344
‎但我們把妳教得很堅強
‎妳是奈德家的一份子

353
00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:36,264
‎我沒辦法陪妳
‎所以妳要為了爸爸堅強起來

354
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,726
‎我看不…她有點頭嗎？

355
00:17:39,810 --> 00:17:41,436
‎-有，她點頭了
‎-她確實有

356
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:43,855
‎馬克，你行的，我愛你

357
00:17:43,939 --> 00:17:47,067
‎-我也愛妳，瑪姬
‎-超愛妳，很快再聯絡

358
00:17:56,535 --> 00:17:57,994
‎氣氛太沉悶了

359
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:02,874
‎在等待判決前，我們要先發洩一下

360
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,710
‎各就各位，預備，開始

361
00:18:05,794 --> 00:18:08,922
‎-加油
‎-加油

362
00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:09,881
‎就是這樣

363
00:18:11,341 --> 00:18:13,343
‎太棒了

364
00:18:15,262 --> 00:18:16,805
‎-可惡
‎-怎麼樣？

365
00:18:16,888 --> 00:18:19,141
‎-怎麼樣？
‎-好，可以

366
00:18:20,517 --> 00:18:22,519
‎好，下一個換誰？爸？

367
00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:23,520
‎不了

368
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:24,729
‎-別這樣
‎-對啊，快上

369
00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:26,148
‎-不了，我不要
‎-爸

370
00:18:26,231 --> 00:18:28,817
‎怎麼了？他會拒絕是因為怕輸

371
00:18:31,987 --> 00:18:32,821
‎放馬過來

372
00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:39,411
‎-準備好沒？
‎-準備好了嗎？

373
00:18:39,494 --> 00:18:42,122
‎-我天生就準備好了
‎-我不知道你能否應付得來

374
00:18:42,205 --> 00:18:43,540
‎好，要開始了

375
00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:46,459
‎各就各位，預備，開始

376
00:18:46,543 --> 00:18:47,919
‎-加油
‎-加油

377
00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:56,303
‎我贏了

378
00:18:56,887 --> 00:18:59,055
‎-我贏了
‎-他們在等你了，將軍

379
00:18:59,139 --> 00:19:00,932
‎好，謝謝妳

380
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:11,526
‎根據今天遞交的
‎不同文件和證詞，奈德將軍

381
00:19:11,610 --> 00:19:14,529
‎顯示出你性情不穩

382
00:19:14,613 --> 00:19:17,324
‎無能、脆弱、古怪

383
00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:20,994
‎優柔寡斷、有可能叛國

384
00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:24,873
‎我可以肯定我只有其中兩三個缺點

385
00:19:24,956 --> 00:19:26,416
‎絕對不是六個全都有

386
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:29,711
‎今天有許多人指責你

387
00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:32,505
‎有許多錯都算在你頭上

388
00:19:32,589 --> 00:19:37,219
‎所以你就把這當成指責別人的機會

389
00:19:37,302 --> 00:19:38,261
‎長官

390
00:19:39,304 --> 00:19:42,682
‎我很久以前學到手指別人時

391
00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:46,061
‎有三隻手指會指向自己

392
00:19:46,645 --> 00:19:50,357
‎拇指則筆直朝天

393
00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:54,527
‎對，我曾經用其中一個衛星

394
00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:57,447
‎找出我媽在藥局停車場

395
00:19:58,406 --> 00:20:00,992
‎對，我小時候

396
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:06,373
‎我從標明“拿一個糖果”的
‎萬聖節糖果碗裡拿很多個

397
00:20:07,582 --> 00:20:10,877
‎而且，那年萬聖節，我扮成流浪漢

398
00:20:10,961 --> 00:20:12,963
‎我現在知道很不恰當

399
00:20:13,588 --> 00:20:14,798
‎我不完美

400
00:20:15,423 --> 00:20:18,843
‎但我相信我決定

401
00:20:18,927 --> 00:20:23,223
‎保護我們的太空人和人命

402
00:20:23,306 --> 00:20:24,683
‎是正確的

403
00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:26,268
‎謝謝

404
00:20:27,519 --> 00:20:30,438
‎桂伯斯頓將軍，你有結案陳詞嗎？

405
00:20:31,940 --> 00:20:35,485
‎奈德一直很嫉妒我

406
00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:38,697
‎從我們認識那刻起，他就想當老大

407
00:20:38,780 --> 00:20:41,324
‎他那天有機會

408
00:20:41,950 --> 00:20:46,079
‎我已經在此證明他靠不住

409
00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:48,123
‎暗中搞破壞

410
00:20:48,665 --> 00:20:49,958
‎腳很小

411
00:20:50,041 --> 00:20:52,294
‎而且很可能是中國間諜

412
00:20:52,377 --> 00:20:55,005
‎這個謊太離譜了，我的腳是十號半

413
00:20:55,088 --> 00:20:59,718
‎兩位，經過深思熟慮
‎我們做出以下判決

414
00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:04,139
‎桂伯斯頓將軍，你公然無視人命

415
00:21:04,222 --> 00:21:06,766
‎可能會造成國際糾紛

416
00:21:06,850 --> 00:21:09,352
‎因此，你將帶著最高榮譽及福利

417
00:21:09,436 --> 00:21:11,896
‎從現任職位退休

418
00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:16,651
‎太空部隊將繼續接受奈德將軍指揮

419
00:21:16,735 --> 00:21:18,778
‎你他媽在開我玩笑嗎？

420
00:21:18,862 --> 00:21:21,656
‎請將桂伯斯頓將軍帶離這空間

421
00:21:21,740 --> 00:21:24,242
‎沒那個必要

422
00:21:26,870 --> 00:21:28,330
‎這件事還沒結束，呆子

423
00:21:33,084 --> 00:21:36,713
‎奈德將軍，在另外通知前
‎太空部隊仍聽命於你

424
00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:39,132
‎但仍執行該兵種的原始任務

425
00:21:39,215 --> 00:21:40,258
‎包在我身上

426
00:21:40,342 --> 00:21:42,177
‎-我還沒說完
‎-好

427
00:21:42,260 --> 00:21:44,304
‎你要什麼有什麼的預算被砍了

428
00:21:44,387 --> 00:21:47,307
‎全權批准新任務？

429
00:21:47,390 --> 00:21:48,433
‎砍

430
00:21:48,516 --> 00:21:51,227
‎你有五個月的時間證明自己

431
00:21:51,311 --> 00:21:54,856
‎不然總統會另外安插別的指揮官

432
00:21:55,732 --> 00:21:57,859
‎把這當成緩刑

433
00:21:57,942 --> 00:21:59,527
‎我們可以在四個月內完成，長官

434
00:22:00,111 --> 00:22:03,490
‎話誰都會說，將軍，四個月後見

435
00:22:03,573 --> 00:22:06,993
‎但要是我們進度落後
‎五個月的提議是否仍…

436
00:22:07,077 --> 00:22:09,829
‎-解散
‎-靠，我每次都這樣

437
00:22:19,381 --> 00:22:20,882
‎-謝謝
‎-謝謝

438
00:22:20,965 --> 00:22:21,841
‎謝謝

439
00:22:28,473 --> 00:22:30,183
‎看吧，你辦到了

440
00:22:31,059 --> 00:22:32,060
‎對，我辦到，對吧？

441
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:33,645
‎我就說吧

442
00:22:34,938 --> 00:22:36,064
‎你沒有要用手機？

443
00:22:37,190 --> 00:22:38,066
‎沒有

444
00:22:38,149 --> 00:22:39,776
‎沒電了嗎？

445
00:22:41,152 --> 00:22:42,070
‎對

446
00:22:48,952 --> 00:22:50,829
‎太空部隊哪都不會去

447
00:22:50,912 --> 00:22:53,623
‎-這還用說
‎-真棒

448
00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:55,417
‎-我好開心
‎-太好了

449
00:22:55,500 --> 00:22:56,543
‎辛苦了

450
00:22:57,043 --> 00:22:59,754
‎恭喜你，馬克，幹得好

451
00:22:59,838 --> 00:23:01,172
‎跟你說幾句話

452
00:23:04,551 --> 00:23:06,678
‎-有件事我不明白
‎-什麼事？

453
00:23:06,761 --> 00:23:10,348
‎經過這一切，經過那些毀滅性的證詞

454
00:23:10,432 --> 00:23:11,975
‎我怎麼不用坐牢？

455
00:23:12,058 --> 00:23:13,810
‎更別說保住我的指揮官位置

456
00:23:14,394 --> 00:23:18,982
‎馬克奈德的時尚品味大有問題

457
00:23:19,065 --> 00:23:21,526
‎但品格不容質疑

458
00:23:21,609 --> 00:23:24,821
‎我願意為他跟任何人赴戰場

459
00:23:24,904 --> 00:23:25,738
‎在推特上

460
00:23:25,822 --> 00:23:27,824
‎要不是馬克奈德

461
00:23:27,907 --> 00:23:29,868
‎我人生中最後幾分鐘還在“黑”到月球

462
00:23:29,951 --> 00:23:32,829
‎船長，我的船長
‎我們心驚膽跳的旅程已結束

463
00:23:32,912 --> 00:23:36,166
‎這艘船歷盡風險，目標已然達成

464
00:23:36,249 --> 00:23:39,752
‎他永遠把別人擺第一
‎他是盡責的父親

465
00:23:39,836 --> 00:23:43,047
‎在他鈦金屬的表面下，其實灌滿氖

466
00:23:44,632 --> 00:23:46,259
‎氖是高尚的氣體

467
00:23:46,342 --> 00:23:48,386
‎我想說奈德是高尚的人

468
00:23:48,470 --> 00:23:50,430
‎我真的欠他一條命

469
00:23:50,513 --> 00:23:52,682
‎港口近了，鐘聲入耳

470
00:23:52,765 --> 00:23:54,684
‎他絕對是優秀的將軍

471
00:23:56,060 --> 00:23:57,020
‎我很愛他

472
00:23:57,103 --> 00:24:00,190
‎旗幟為你飛揚，號角為你悠揚

473
00:24:00,273 --> 00:24:04,068
‎太空部隊沒有比馬克奈德更好的人

474
00:24:04,152 --> 00:24:07,530
‎我不敢相信自己說出這句話

475
00:24:07,614 --> 00:24:09,491
‎但他是我最好的朋友

476
00:24:10,617 --> 00:24:12,744
‎說不定你只是好運

477
00:24:12,827 --> 00:24:14,204
‎我之前好擔心

478
00:24:15,705 --> 00:24:16,956
‎我們回家吧，女兒

479
00:24:18,333 --> 00:24:22,754
‎對了，土桑現在是晴朗的攝氏24度

480
00:24:24,589 --> 00:24:27,300
‎本週都會是不錯的天氣

481
00:25:50,675 --> 00:25:53,636
‎字幕翻譯：林佩孜