1
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‎NETFLIX 影集

2
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‎（上午1點13分）

3
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‎（小陳，行動電話）

4
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‎（上午8點）

5
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‎我們想感謝妳大老遠從華盛頓過來

6
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‎跟我們見面

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‎開始前若有什麼需要，咖啡還是…

8
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‎（馬克奈德將軍）

9
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‎奈德將軍，新行政團隊帶來新預算

10
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‎你的預算被大幅刪減

11
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‎所以不要咖啡或法蘭奇甜甜圈？

12
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‎不要，好吧

13
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‎我們明白現在進入緊縮時期

14
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‎所謂的刪減是到什麼程度？

15
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‎將近一半

16
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‎無法接受！

17
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‎-真要命
‎-科學可不能錙銖必較

18
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‎好，其實呢，我們可以稍微勒緊褲帶

19
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‎我深入敵軍時

20
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‎學會如何將一天的配給分成三週吃

21
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‎訣竅是吞進很多空氣

22
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‎騙肚子以為自己飽了

23
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‎這樣對身體不好

24
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‎會讓腸子漲得像氣球，而且…

25
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‎在中午前交出刪減的項目

26
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‎好，中午嘛

27
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‎如果你辦不到，自然有人會出手

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‎有點禮貌死不了

29
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‎不好意思？

30
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‎什麼事？

31
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‎很感謝…

32
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‎真難搞

33
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‎他們最好不要取消我的火星任務

34
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‎我跟陳博士親自催生這個計畫

35
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‎這任務不會…沒事的

36
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‎更別提有位太空人
‎已經在去火星的路上

37
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‎我要怎麼跟他說？

38
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‎“蘭開斯特上尉，你獨自在太空

39
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‎漫遊九個月所失去的骨質

40
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‎全都白費了
‎好好享受你的骨質疏鬆症”

41
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‎我知道，艾德安

42
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‎我們只要準確執行刪除預算就好

43
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‎那個女人拿走我處方箋辦公椅

44
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‎誰管你什麼辦公椅啦，布萊德？

45
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‎那是專門用來支撐我的蛋蛋

46
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‎一般的辦公椅也能支撐你的蛋蛋
‎你的沒有這麼不堪一擊

47
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‎聽著，我們只要找出撙節開支的方法

48
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‎好，這裡有個完美的例子

49
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‎基地船艦維修用的3D印表機可以刪掉

50
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‎沒錯，刪掉吧
‎反正我們不是在研究火箭的

51
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‎對吧？等等，我們是耶，至少本來是

52
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‎不曉得這有沒有幫助

53
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‎我阿姨為了省電，不開燈上廁所

54
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‎沒幫助

55
00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:56,968
‎妳買了股票？
‎妳對股票有一丁點的了解嗎？

56
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‎（美國太空部隊）

57
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‎一點也不

58
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‎我男友跟我說的
‎我一天就賺了兩千塊

59
00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:04,392
‎不費吹灰之力

60
00:03:04,475 --> 00:03:05,310
‎真的嗎？

61
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‎聽起來好到不真實

62
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‎但話說回來
‎不勞而獲其實是我的夢想工作

63
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‎我男友說要趁便宜時買進

64
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‎要投資多少？

65
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‎看妳想賺多少錢，要用錢滾錢

66
00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:22,452
‎我可以動用我的大學基金

67
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‎這主意很好

68
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‎是嗎？

69
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‎（打情罵俏？）

70
00:03:29,792 --> 00:03:34,130
‎好，我認為這資料有各種廣泛的解讀

71
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,507
‎如果回來看第一象限，看看…

72
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‎股票，大家有何想法？這是有益吧？

73
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‎什麼？

74
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,849
‎抱歉，我打斷了什麼事嗎？

75
00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:45,892
‎這個…

76
00:03:45,975 --> 00:03:47,060
‎火箭話題

77
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‎沒有，我們在解析安潔菈喜不喜歡我

78
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‎其實我不看好這些數字

79
00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:55,360
‎你的訊息回覆比是五比一

80
00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:57,528
‎對，可能是你用的表情符號

81
00:03:57,612 --> 00:04:01,574
‎妳要知道，我不用表情符號
‎我用的是顏文字，妳看這個多可愛？

82
00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:04,661
‎現在沒人用顏文字了

83
00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:05,828
‎真的嗎？

84
00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:08,414
‎為什麼沒人跟我說？

85
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:12,293
‎到處都是天才
‎卻沒人跟我說顏文字不流行了？

86
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‎我看起來蠢斃了

87
00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:18,048
‎-慢著，你跟安潔菈在交往？
‎-這就是我們要搞清楚的

88
00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:21,552
‎我再跟大家順一次時間序吧

89
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‎這是安潔菈從月球回來

90
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‎我們接吻，在飯店過了一晚

91
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‎然後我們一起鬼混
‎花好月圓，接著…

92
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‎不知為何，她不理我了

93
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‎哪間飯店？

94
00:04:39,862 --> 00:04:41,281
‎萬怡酒店

95
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‎我是旅享家會員，怎樣啦？
‎她會覺得我很小氣嗎？

96
00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:49,622
‎我用點數升級房等耶，有花園景

97
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‎那算是小型行政套房

98
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,793
‎我沒辦法升等到行政套房

99
00:04:53,876 --> 00:04:56,045
‎太貴了，我負擔不了

100
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:57,839
‎我們吃歐陸式早餐

101
00:04:57,922 --> 00:05:00,925
‎兄弟，你就像OJ287星系一樣打轉

102
00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:05,138
‎真是，那是類星體
‎宇宙中轉速最快的物體

103
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‎還真酷

104
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‎對啊

105
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‎-好
‎-喔

106
00:05:15,189 --> 00:05:16,274
‎你想太多了

107
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‎專心一點，麻煩注意這邊

108
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‎大家看過來

109
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‎我現在手上拿的是媒體行程

110
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‎大家都知道，太空部隊被放大檢視

111
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‎媒體對我們又愛又恨

112
00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:32,040
‎“那是什麼意思？”讓我解釋一下

113
00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:34,751
‎他們很愛恨我們，又很恨自己愛我們

114
00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:36,961
‎所以我們在回答月球問題時

115
00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:40,089
‎說法要完全一致

116
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,591
‎對，好比說：“太空部隊

117
00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:43,968
‎你們差點跟中國發生月球大戰嗎？”

118
00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:47,096
‎沒錯，但我們有嗎？

119
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,348
‎-有
‎-對

120
00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:53,561
‎或是發生過“短暫的通訊故障

121
00:05:53,644 --> 00:05:55,980
‎但經過外交及互助下

122
00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:59,317
‎兩國通力合作，返回地球？

123
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:03,696
‎各位同業，這就叫換句話說

124
00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:07,492
‎那要跟媒體說我的鳥怎麼了嗎？

125
00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:10,745
‎絕對不要，那隻鳥就是月球那隻

126
00:06:10,828 --> 00:06:13,331
‎艾迪從沒殺害或吃下任何活體

127
00:06:13,414 --> 00:06:15,291
‎我不後悔，再來一次也行

128
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,126
‎表演結束後，那隻鳥要怎麼辦？

129
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:20,546
‎你不能把那隻鳥吞下肚
‎因為那是佩拉珍貴的寵物

130
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:22,799
‎我對這隻鳥沒感情

131
00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:25,051
‎我們之間的關係是謊言

132
00:06:25,134 --> 00:06:27,845
‎妳有30分鐘讓謊言成真，這樣夠嗎？

133
00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:29,764
‎不夠

134
00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:32,975
‎好，記住我們的口號

135
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,936
‎發生在月球上的事

136
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:37,814
‎就留在月球

137
00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:41,025
‎發生在月球上的事

138
00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:42,026
‎就留在月球

139
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:45,071
‎好極了，我們要做一些練習題

140
00:06:45,154 --> 00:06:46,239
‎我來扮演媒體

141
00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:47,532
‎-準備好了嗎？
‎-好了

142
00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:48,866
‎只有一個人，準備好沒？

143
00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:50,576
‎-好了，來吧
‎-老早準備好了

144
00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:51,994
‎後面那位先生

145
00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:55,081
‎我嗎？謝謝你點我發問

146
00:06:55,164 --> 00:06:57,542
‎羅恩史汀普利，國家地理頻道

147
00:06:57,625 --> 00:07:00,002
‎問一下各位外星守護者

148
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:02,046
‎你們知道任何月球冷知識嗎？

149
00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:04,924
‎有，你好，我知道，羅恩史汀普利

150
00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:06,509
‎對，在下就是羅恩史汀普利

151
00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:09,262
‎月球總是對地球現出同一面

152
00:07:09,345 --> 00:07:12,807
‎天啊，好好笑，我欣賞妳如此投入

153
00:07:12,890 --> 00:07:17,145
‎現在我要問其他人同樣的問題
‎這位先生

154
00:07:18,187 --> 00:07:20,273
‎月球是平的，羅恩

155
00:07:20,356 --> 00:07:22,900
‎當然不是，月球是圓的

156
00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:24,861
‎披薩也是圓的

157
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,363
‎但一樣也是平的

158
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:29,449
‎相信我，我吃過披薩

159
00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:32,326
‎很高興終於有人說出我們的想法

160
00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:33,369
‎-對
‎-對

161
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,163
‎好，計畫有變，大家聽好

162
00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:38,708
‎只有安潔菈和那隻鳥要會見媒體

163
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:40,084
‎-等等
‎-不行

164
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:42,336
‎不行，我不曉得能不能獨自面對

165
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,422
‎我跟奈德將軍相信

166
00:07:44,505 --> 00:07:47,258
‎安潔菈阿里，太空部隊的未來

167
00:07:47,341 --> 00:07:51,929
‎她是美國女性歷史中的
‎下一位“女英雄”

168
00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:53,389
‎我覺得這樣不好

169
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:56,642
‎別忘了，”黑到月球真好”是我說的

170
00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:57,727
‎-記得嗎？
‎-對

171
00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:00,021
‎全美很買單，就像在州博覽會上

172
00:08:00,104 --> 00:08:02,315
‎買到灑上毒品
‎拿去炸的士力架巧克力棒

173
00:08:02,398 --> 00:08:04,108
‎安潔菈，妳是女王

174
00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:05,902
‎妳是全美的女王

175
00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:07,320
‎戴上王冠吧

176
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:10,907
‎我花了600元大改造

177
00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:13,326
‎妳看起來很美

178
00:08:13,409 --> 00:08:14,619
‎搬出去

179
00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:18,539
‎把影印機搬上我的車

180
00:08:19,123 --> 00:08:20,958
‎他們還要搬走什麼？

181
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:23,461
‎這太扯了

182
00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:27,840
‎航太總署，你說航太總署？
‎也對，航太總署

183
00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:30,009
‎資質平庸的書呆子團隊

184
00:08:30,092 --> 00:08:34,554
‎艾德安，有人說你們的預算被砍半

185
00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:35,847
‎去你的

186
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:36,807
‎去你的

187
00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:38,518
‎去你的！

188
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,394
‎-去你…
‎-總之

189
00:08:40,477 --> 00:08:44,190
‎這個空間真是陳悶

190
00:08:44,273 --> 00:08:48,152
‎不然呢？我今天早上
‎不得不資遣了三分之一的科學團隊

191
00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:50,071
‎好消息，有人餓了嗎？

192
00:08:50,154 --> 00:08:52,823
‎-午餐我請客
‎-希望你們有胃口吃麥當勞

193
00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:55,243
‎商務餐廳的午餐呢？

194
00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:58,162
‎商務餐廳沒了，所以我們得自備午餐

195
00:08:58,246 --> 00:09:01,916
‎但我點了焦黑卡津鮭魚佐蔓越莓油醋

196
00:09:01,999 --> 00:09:05,127
‎各位，我知道這很難

197
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:08,673
‎我知道你們全都有所犧牲

198
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,551
‎但我說個故事

199
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:13,553
‎我爸媽歷經很艱辛的一年

200
00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:17,807
‎我知道那年聖誕節，樹下不會有禮物

201
00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:20,518
‎所以聖誕節早上，我爸做了什麼？

202
00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:23,396
‎我爸彎下身

203
00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:26,566
‎他蜷曲在樹下

204
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:32,863
‎然後我媽照做，我也跟著蜷曲在樹下

205
00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:37,618
‎我們三個躺在樹下，互為彼此的禮物

206
00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:41,581
‎望向那些枯死的樹枝

207
00:09:42,123 --> 00:09:45,918
‎讓人沮喪不已，情況很糟

208
00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:49,046
‎但在這當中有一種美感

209
00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:54,260
‎那正是我在太空部隊尋找的精神

210
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:56,470
‎兩件事

211
00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:57,597
‎現在是三月

212
00:09:58,097 --> 00:10:00,391
‎那故事很警世

213
00:10:00,474 --> 00:10:04,228
‎我爸媽就算破產
‎還是會在樹下放東西

214
00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:06,647
‎有一年，我們負擔不起伴唱機

215
00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:10,026
‎他們還是從連鎖藥妝店
‎買了四塊錢的塑膠麥克風

216
00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:12,820
‎-很好
‎-你有雞塊，你這被寵壞的死小子

217
00:10:12,903 --> 00:10:13,904
‎退下，布萊德

218
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:16,824
‎數到三，我要聽到隊呼
‎“太空部隊精神”

219
00:10:16,907 --> 00:10:17,742
‎一、二、三

220
00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:19,285
‎太空部隊精神

221
00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:21,787
‎天啊

222
00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:25,541
‎我們關閉衛星，裁撤非必要人員

223
00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:28,878
‎行政主廚餐廳沒了

224
00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:31,881
‎很不容易，但我們應該達成目標了

225
00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:33,424
‎差得遠了

226
00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:37,303
‎你計算的是日曆年，不是會計年度

227
00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:42,183
‎你還要刪減三個月的開銷
‎有樣東西你可以刪掉

228
00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:43,225
‎不行

229
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:47,188
‎火星任務，那沒得談

230
00:10:47,938 --> 00:10:50,524
‎那對馬洛里博士是很重要的計畫

231
00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:52,234
‎要是刪掉這個，他會崩潰

232
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:54,987
‎那我建議你早點告訴他

233
00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:59,367
‎妳好壞

234
00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:08,626
‎那是我女兒

235
00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:22,598
‎B7

236
00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:26,102
‎蠢機器

237
00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:29,647
‎你只要做一件事

238
00:11:29,730 --> 00:11:32,942
‎有什麼好搞不清楚的？

239
00:11:33,442 --> 00:11:35,778
‎是B？還是七有問題？嘿

240
00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:37,446
‎你沒事吧？

241
00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:39,699
‎好極了

242
00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:41,450
‎那只是零食，艾德安

243
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:45,830
‎不是，我剛收到令人不悅的消息

244
00:11:46,997 --> 00:11:47,915
‎是嗎？

245
00:11:48,749 --> 00:11:51,669
‎對，傑隆打來，他不得不讓貓安樂死

246
00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:54,213
‎是這樣啊

247
00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:56,507
‎這樣啊，真的很遺憾

248
00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:59,093
‎我不知道你有養貓

249
00:11:59,176 --> 00:12:01,011
‎那其實是傑隆的貓

250
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:03,764
‎你有事要找我？

251
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:06,934
‎對，我想跟你說火星…

252
00:12:07,017 --> 00:12:07,852
‎什麼？

253
00:12:08,602 --> 00:12:11,731
‎…巧克力棒，火星巧克力棒
‎那台機器有賣嗎？

254
00:12:12,606 --> 00:12:13,733
‎在這裡

255
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:15,484
‎我好愛這東西

256
00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:19,864
‎到這地步，這台爛機器給我什麼都好

257
00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:25,327
‎就是說啊，好
‎總之呢，祝那隻貓順利

258
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:28,330
‎糟糕

259
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:33,335
‎歡迎，大家好，請坐

260
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:34,545
‎這是怎樣？

261
00:12:34,628 --> 00:12:35,838
‎（從月球回歸）

262
00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:39,425
‎我看過很多記者會
‎但這場是目前為止

263
00:12:39,508 --> 00:12:43,304
‎我這輩子看過最引人注目的記者會

264
00:12:43,387 --> 00:12:45,890
‎他們去哪請到你們的？
‎你們是模特兒嗎？假媒體？

265
00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:48,392
‎瞧瞧這位，模特兒

266
00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:49,685
‎太扯了啦

267
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,688
‎女士先生們，事不宜遲

268
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,815
‎英雄、傳奇

269
00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:57,818
‎太空部隊的守護者

270
00:12:57,902 --> 00:12:59,904
‎掌聲歡迎安潔菈阿里上尉

271
00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:00,988
‎來吧

272
00:13:02,406 --> 00:13:03,240
‎幹

273
00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:07,161
‎回到室內，來吧，謝謝大家

274
00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:09,914
‎-妳好嗎，上尉？
‎-非常好

275
00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:11,832
‎很好，我們開始吧

276
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:13,751
‎舉手，問問題

277
00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:16,796
‎前排顴骨特高的那位

278
00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:18,672
‎提問吧，我知道你有好問題

279
00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:20,174
‎其他太空人呢？

280
00:13:20,257 --> 00:13:23,344
‎其他的太空人有私事或牙醫約診

281
00:13:23,427 --> 00:13:26,847
‎別擔心這，有問題要問這位英雄嗎？

282
00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:29,725
‎有，兩個軍事強權一同在月球上

283
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:33,354
‎在協調安全返回地球時

284
00:13:33,437 --> 00:13:35,397
‎雙方的太空人有出現緊繃局勢嗎？

285
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:41,237
‎有，一度出現通訊故障的情況

286
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,197
‎但經過外交和合作

287
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:47,952
‎我們得以一同努力，安全返回“地啊”

288
00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:49,912
‎“地啊”？

289
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:52,373
‎什麼？不是，我是說“地球”

290
00:13:52,456 --> 00:13:55,334
‎我聽到“地球”，妳說的是“地球”
‎各位，她說的是地球

291
00:13:55,417 --> 00:13:57,878
‎不可思議，外交和合作

292
00:13:57,962 --> 00:14:00,548
‎我喜歡這個答案，好問題，好答案

293
00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:03,217
‎真不敢相信我可以目睹這個
‎第二個問題呢？

294
00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:04,802
‎我們必須保持冷靜

295
00:14:04,885 --> 00:14:07,638
‎你們在吸我們的空氣，那是美國空氣

296
00:14:07,721 --> 00:14:09,682
‎典型的美國人，自以為擁有一切

297
00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:12,059
‎你們在我們的船上，吃我們的食物

298
00:14:12,142 --> 00:14:13,435
‎這也是我們的食物

299
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:15,813
‎我們是美國人，習慣大份量

300
00:14:15,896 --> 00:14:18,023
‎空氣很多，不會跑到別處

301
00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:21,193
‎-食物也很多，我們不會有事
‎-還有禽類

302
00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:24,238
‎不會有事，只要保持冷靜
‎不然我們都會死

303
00:14:24,321 --> 00:14:25,322
‎阿里上尉

304
00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:26,949
‎阿里上尉？

305
00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:29,243
‎不好意思，什麼？問題是什麼？

306
00:14:29,326 --> 00:14:32,037
‎麻煩大家提問不要這麼小聲

307
00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:33,205
‎我知道她是英雄

308
00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:36,792
‎但不表示她有超級聽力
‎跟夜魔俠或蜘蛛人一樣

309
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:40,004
‎講話響亮別用氣音
‎再來一次，中間那位

310
00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:41,422
‎阿里上尉，妳在月球時

311
00:14:41,505 --> 00:14:43,674
‎最想念的是誰還是什麼東西？

312
00:14:43,757 --> 00:14:45,050
‎安靜，要來了

313
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:47,887
‎我在月球上最想念誰還是什麼東西？

314
00:14:51,599 --> 00:14:52,892
‎智利辣味玉米粒

315
00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:57,605
‎太傷人了，除非你的綽號是玉米粒

316
00:14:58,689 --> 00:14:59,899
‎閉嘴啦，賽勒

317
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:01,150
‎我什麼都沒說

318
00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:04,653
‎你應該買智利辣味玉米粒給她

319
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:07,114
‎是嗎？妳不覺得這樣太逼人？

320
00:15:07,197 --> 00:15:10,242
‎不會，這表示你有在聽

321
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:14,914
‎這舉動很和善也很浪漫，小辣的示愛

322
00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:16,373
‎好主意

323
00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:18,292
‎玉米粒？妳知道我們能賺多少錢嗎？

324
00:15:18,375 --> 00:15:21,378
‎在卡夫牌付錢前
‎我們不能說出品牌名

325
00:15:21,462 --> 00:15:23,130
‎這是我們的宗旨，妳是怎麼了？

326
00:15:23,213 --> 00:15:25,799
‎抱歉，那隻鳥讓我分神了
‎害我不能專心

327
00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:28,260
‎別怪那隻鳥，牠現在是熱門話題了

328
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:31,180
‎“月球鳥”是第一名，沒人發現

329
00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:33,807
‎那是不同的鳥，我愛死那隻鳥了

330
00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:35,434
‎深呼吸，想想下一次採訪

331
00:15:35,517 --> 00:15:37,978
‎我沒辦法接受下一場採訪
‎什麼採訪都不行

332
00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:41,899
‎我說真的，我覺得自己很有障礙

333
00:15:41,982 --> 00:15:45,527
‎明白嗎？我回來後，連小事都做不了

334
00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:46,695
‎我不洗衣服

335
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,072
‎我只買新的

336
00:15:48,155 --> 00:15:50,991
‎穿到變髒為止，然後再丟出窗外

337
00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:52,743
‎-那很正常
‎-才沒有

338
00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:54,495
‎這很正常，絕對是

339
00:15:54,578 --> 00:15:57,206
‎我認識的人都喜歡買新衣服

340
00:15:57,289 --> 00:15:58,582
‎誰喜歡洗衣服啦？

341
00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:01,919
‎我覺得我需要休假，不討論月球

342
00:16:02,002 --> 00:16:03,337
‎我走到哪都是這件事

343
00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:05,422
‎“登月女孩在我老公背後簽名”

344
00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:08,092
‎-我要停止提到月球
‎-好啦

345
00:16:09,718 --> 00:16:11,345
‎說不定這能幫上點忙

346
00:16:11,428 --> 00:16:12,471
‎謝天謝地

347
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,473
‎-不行，當然不行
‎-什麼？

348
00:16:14,556 --> 00:16:16,642
‎-妳不問就放進嘴裡？
‎-我不知道

349
00:16:16,725 --> 00:16:19,019
‎那是耳機，妳要放進耳朵

350
00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:21,063
‎我去旁邊教妳怎麼說

351
00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:24,024
‎妳照著我的話說
‎這樣就能暫時不動腦

352
00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:25,734
‎你覺得這招有效嗎？

353
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:28,696
‎我知道這有效，寶貝，行得通

354
00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:34,660
‎亞伯森，現在時機不對

355
00:16:34,743 --> 00:16:37,997
‎我現在沒心情聽你航太總署的鬼扯

356
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,624
‎我是你的話，我不會掛電話，艾德安

357
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,751
‎有件事你可能有興趣

358
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,169
‎馬洛里在打哈欠

359
00:16:44,253 --> 00:16:47,006
‎我接到線報跟你的預算刪減有關

360
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:49,133
‎這個人在五角大廈有朋友

361
00:16:49,216 --> 00:16:51,427
‎他們在找替代人選，替代誰呢？

362
00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:52,386
‎奈德將軍

363
00:16:52,469 --> 00:16:55,180
‎你有實際的證據嗎？

364
00:16:55,723 --> 00:16:58,350
‎還是聽別人胡扯的？

365
00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:01,228
‎正式的人選名單影本算實際證據嗎？

366
00:17:01,311 --> 00:17:04,481
‎靠，今天真是禍不單行

367
00:17:07,233 --> 00:17:09,903
‎麻煩給我那個，謝謝

368
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:13,866
‎-買瑪芬？
‎-對啊

369
00:17:13,949 --> 00:17:16,076
‎很好的選擇，那是蔓越莓嗎？

370
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,787
‎蔓越莓，對，藍莓的沒有了

371
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,204
‎真可惡

372
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:21,373
‎我好愛瑪芬

373
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:24,460
‎馬克，我在想

374
00:17:24,542 --> 00:17:27,546
‎可以私下跟你談談嗎？

375
00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:29,757
‎當然，沒問題

376
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,676
‎其實我也要私下找你聊聊

377
00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:34,261
‎好

378
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:36,597
‎不如我們去外面，散個步吧？

379
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,182
‎好，那就…

380
00:17:38,265 --> 00:17:42,811
‎我們應該去外面，走出門之類的

381
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:44,897
‎聽起來不錯，去外面透個氣

382
00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:46,356
‎-好啊
‎-遠離人群

383
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,484
‎遠離人群和易碎品

384
00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:51,695
‎-對，我可以在外面吃瑪芬
‎-你要拿個袋子嗎？

385
00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,155
‎不用，這樣就好

386
00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:55,449
‎-餐巾紙？
‎-不用，用手就好

387
00:17:55,532 --> 00:17:56,617
‎好

388
00:17:57,743 --> 00:17:59,411
‎-能出來外面很好
‎-對

389
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,955
‎外頭天氣很好

390
00:18:03,707 --> 00:18:05,334
‎我們竟然有這麼多警衛

391
00:18:05,417 --> 00:18:09,755
‎馬克，這件事包裝不了

392
00:18:09,838 --> 00:18:13,383
‎我有非常壞的消息要說

393
00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:15,302
‎你有壞消息要告訴我？

394
00:18:15,385 --> 00:18:17,179
‎對，你會討厭這件事，我就會

395
00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:19,848
‎艾德安，我有壞消息要說

396
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,266
‎相信我，我的更糟

397
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:22,476
‎我覺得我的比較糟

398
00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:26,396
‎我們不先知道彼此的消息
‎要怎麼判斷誰的比較糟？

399
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:29,066
‎這倒是，但哪個比較糟？
‎先聽壞消息…

400
00:18:29,149 --> 00:18:31,026
‎-先，後
‎-我覺得等下說的更糟

401
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,402
‎-這…
‎-或是先說的

402
00:18:32,486 --> 00:18:35,989
‎這樣吧，長痛不如短痛
‎說出我的壞消息

403
00:18:36,073 --> 00:18:40,536
‎行政部門在找人
‎接替你在太空部隊的位置

404
00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:42,621
‎什麼？

405
00:18:42,704 --> 00:18:44,123
‎我的一個同事

406
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:49,837
‎可以說是航太總署
‎完全依附於我的寄生蟲

407
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,798
‎發現這件事
‎他把可能的替代人選名單寄給我

408
00:18:52,881 --> 00:18:55,425
‎不要，我不想看名單

409
00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:57,052
‎你自己說長痛不如短痛的

410
00:18:57,136 --> 00:19:00,055
‎對，但我沒說在傷口上灑鹽

411
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:01,932
‎還用煙頭燙我

412
00:19:02,015 --> 00:19:03,976
‎我就說我的消息更糟

413
00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:05,727
‎-不對，我的更糟
‎-我說過了

414
00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:07,104
‎不可能，是什麼消息？

415
00:19:07,187 --> 00:19:08,480
‎火星任務取消了

416
00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:09,815
‎-沒有
‎-就是有

417
00:19:10,315 --> 00:19:11,400
‎-很遺憾
‎-沒有

418
00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:14,111
‎-我試著警告你
‎-沒有，快說沒有

419
00:19:14,194 --> 00:19:16,905
‎-我不會說沒有，因為這是真的
‎-拜託快說沒有

420
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,240
‎-我不行
‎-去你的

421
00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:19,533
‎去你的，我知道

422
00:19:19,616 --> 00:19:20,617
‎去你的

423
00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:23,495
‎去你的

424
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:28,375
‎好

425
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:30,002
‎發洩出來

426
00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:43,015
‎-好點了嗎？
‎-對，還可以

427
00:19:44,474 --> 00:19:46,185
‎-你呢？
‎-還可以

428
00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:47,811
‎你的瑪芬可就倒楣了

429
00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:49,229
‎對

430
00:19:51,231 --> 00:19:52,524
‎他們說我還有四個月

431
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:55,986
‎對，我討厭那些
‎小氣又滿口謊言的華府官員

432
00:19:56,069 --> 00:19:58,572
‎我知道，很遺憾火星任務取消

433
00:19:58,655 --> 00:20:00,949
‎我知道如果可以留你就會留

434
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,242
‎真的很抱歉

435
00:20:03,243 --> 00:20:04,119
‎對不起

436
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:06,413
‎天啊

437
00:20:06,496 --> 00:20:09,499
‎你知道火星任務還要跟誰說嗎？

438
00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:10,459
‎誰？

439
00:20:14,504 --> 00:20:15,339
‎天啊

440
00:20:15,422 --> 00:20:16,965
‎對，“天啊”

441
00:20:17,841 --> 00:20:19,468
‎（連接至火星太空船）

442
00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:20,552
‎好

443
00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:22,804
‎這件事非做不可，你要我開口嗎？

444
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:25,140
‎沒關係，我來吧，這是我的職責

445
00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:26,767
‎好

446
00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:32,648
‎太好了，有人打來
‎各位，真是太棒了，嗨

447
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:35,692
‎你好，蘭開斯特上尉，過得好嗎？

448
00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:37,945
‎我…很好，我很好

449
00:20:38,028 --> 00:20:39,905
‎我想念地球

450
00:20:39,988 --> 00:20:41,990
‎還有我的家人

451
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,742
‎還有美食

452
00:20:43,825 --> 00:20:47,287
‎還有在重力下站起來

453
00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:50,165
‎顯然我的心臟縮小了一點點

454
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,875
‎但我沒事

455
00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:55,087
‎沒人喜歡牢騷鬼，快叫我閉嘴

456
00:20:55,170 --> 00:20:57,881
‎等我踏上火星，一切都值得了

457
00:20:57,965 --> 00:20:59,174
‎一生一次的刺激

458
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:02,552
‎我活了一輩子就等這一次

459
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,931
‎我會名留青史

460
00:21:06,014 --> 00:21:09,935
‎對，這就是我想跟你說的事

461
00:21:10,018 --> 00:21:13,146
‎對，可是等一下
‎不好意思，我有好多問題

462
00:21:13,230 --> 00:21:16,358
‎我兒子好嗎？他出生後我就沒抱過他

463
00:21:16,441 --> 00:21:18,402
‎很好

464
00:21:18,485 --> 00:21:20,946
‎他開口說的頭幾個字

465
00:21:21,029 --> 00:21:22,406
‎是什麼？

466
00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:26,326
‎“我愛爸爸”

467
00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:27,911
‎你在搞什麼東西？

468
00:21:27,995 --> 00:21:30,330
‎太好了

469
00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:33,875
‎-等我
‎-好

470
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:36,670
‎我的紐約噴射機球隊呢？

471
00:21:37,337 --> 00:21:39,256
‎-你非跟他說不可
‎-噴射機…

472
00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:41,508
‎（最後一名）

473
00:21:43,343 --> 00:21:45,012
‎-我做不到
‎-你可以的

474
00:21:45,095 --> 00:21:47,472
‎奈德將軍有事要告訴你

475
00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:49,683
‎沒有，好啦，有

476
00:21:50,225 --> 00:21:51,893
‎-去吧
‎-好

477
00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:54,980
‎你好，蘭開斯特上尉，我是奈德將軍

478
00:21:56,648 --> 00:21:58,734
‎有件事要跟你說

479
00:22:00,610 --> 00:22:02,696
‎你的噴射機隊打進超級盃了

480
00:22:03,697 --> 00:22:05,782
‎-他們可能會贏
‎-天啊

481
00:22:05,866 --> 00:22:07,993
‎奇蹟啊

482
00:22:08,076 --> 00:22:09,036
‎對

483
00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:10,871
‎真要命

484
00:22:10,954 --> 00:22:12,456
‎（買就賺）

485
00:22:13,332 --> 00:22:14,791
‎天啊，我好緊張

486
00:22:15,459 --> 00:22:16,710
‎要是事與願違呢？

487
00:22:16,793 --> 00:22:18,670
‎準備發大財吧，妹子

488
00:22:18,754 --> 00:22:20,464
‎好，預備

489
00:22:20,547 --> 00:22:23,842
‎三、二、一

490
00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:26,136
‎我搞定了

491
00:22:26,762 --> 00:22:27,721
‎阿里上尉

492
00:22:27,804 --> 00:22:28,638
‎（美國太空部隊）

493
00:22:28,722 --> 00:22:31,433
‎重返地球後，妳成為眾所矚目的焦點

494
00:22:31,516 --> 00:22:33,226
‎習慣鎂光燈的焦點很難嗎？

495
00:22:33,310 --> 00:22:35,604
‎鎂光燈有趣的地方在於

496
00:22:35,687 --> 00:22:38,231
‎照亮一個人的外在

497
00:22:38,315 --> 00:22:40,525
‎在一個人的光芒

498
00:22:40,609 --> 00:22:43,737
‎-多半由內在散發出來時
‎-多半由內宅散發出來時

499
00:22:44,571 --> 00:22:45,906
‎內宅？

500
00:22:46,698 --> 00:22:47,824
‎妳是說私人住宅嗎？

501
00:22:47,908 --> 00:22:50,952
‎-內在，抱歉，我說錯了
‎-內在，抱歉，我說錯了

502
00:22:51,036 --> 00:22:52,746
‎-內在
‎-內在

503
00:22:52,829 --> 00:22:54,206
‎-好
‎-抱歉

504
00:22:55,290 --> 00:22:58,919
‎中美兩國的太空人
‎搭同一艘太空船返回地球

505
00:22:59,002 --> 00:22:59,836
‎對

506
00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:02,297
‎妳在月球時可曾想過

507
00:23:03,256 --> 00:23:04,674
‎“我說不定回不了家”

508
00:23:04,758 --> 00:23:06,259
‎-絕對沒有，沒有
‎-絕對有

509
00:23:06,343 --> 00:23:08,512
‎-不是，絕對沒有
‎-說：“絕對沒有”

510
00:23:08,595 --> 00:23:11,139
‎絕…我說
‎“絕對沒有”，我說的是這個

511
00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:14,768
‎好，要繼續嗎？

512
00:23:14,851 --> 00:23:15,769
‎-可以
‎-好

513
00:23:15,852 --> 00:23:18,438
‎我們很多人想知道

514
00:23:18,522 --> 00:23:21,191
‎妳被稱為美國英雄

515
00:23:21,274 --> 00:23:22,859
‎英雄一詞對妳有何意義？

516
00:23:22,943 --> 00:23:24,403
‎這是很棒的問題

517
00:23:24,486 --> 00:23:26,738
‎-這是很棒的…對，謝謝…
‎-謝謝妳提問

518
00:23:26,822 --> 00:23:28,615
‎英雄們，羅莎帕克斯

519
00:23:28,698 --> 00:23:30,700
‎-抱歉，我做不到
‎-小威廉絲

520
00:23:30,784 --> 00:23:32,911
‎-妳在做什麼？
‎-“英雄”這稱呼我承擔不起

521
00:23:32,994 --> 00:23:35,705
‎我今天受夠了，行嗎？
‎我受夠了，我不是英雄

522
00:23:35,789 --> 00:23:36,832
‎我是太空人

523
00:23:37,332 --> 00:23:40,752
‎奈德將軍，他給我上月球的機會

524
00:23:40,836 --> 00:23:44,923
‎我去了，也安全回來
‎我們在他的領導下完成

525
00:23:45,006 --> 00:23:48,468
‎我們只是在盡本份，我說不上來

526
00:23:48,552 --> 00:23:51,388
‎我不是英雄，妳知道誰是真英雄嗎？

527
00:23:51,471 --> 00:23:52,681
‎我是認真的

528
00:23:52,764 --> 00:23:55,350
‎做出智利辣味玉米粒的人

529
00:23:56,309 --> 00:23:57,269
‎我知道

530
00:23:57,352 --> 00:24:00,480
‎但他們真的是
‎還是做出我超棒爵士鼓的人

531
00:24:00,564 --> 00:24:01,565
‎那是英雄

532
00:24:02,190 --> 00:24:04,192
‎每天寫功課的小孩

533
00:24:04,276 --> 00:24:07,821
‎會洗衣服的人
‎這些我都不做，而我…

534
00:24:08,363 --> 00:24:10,157
‎他們才是真英雄，不是我

535
00:24:12,451 --> 00:24:15,454
‎各位在場先聽到的人，我們全是英雄

536
00:24:15,537 --> 00:24:18,415
‎說這句話的人是美國真正的英雄

537
00:24:18,498 --> 00:24:20,625
‎顯然還是爵士鼓手

538
00:24:20,709 --> 00:24:23,086
‎太感謝妳了，妳的採訪真是精彩

539
00:24:23,170 --> 00:24:24,921
‎-謝謝，不好意思
‎-“我們全是英雄”

540
00:24:25,005 --> 00:24:28,049
‎-我知道
‎-不是，太棒了，妳看看

541
00:24:28,133 --> 00:24:30,510
‎“月球鼓手妹”是這一秒的熱門話題

542
00:24:30,594 --> 00:24:33,054
‎已經有妳的迷因了，妳看這動圖

543
00:24:36,141 --> 00:24:37,976
‎-太棒了
‎-對，超級棒

544
00:24:38,768 --> 00:24:40,270
‎今天很累吧？

545
00:24:40,353 --> 00:24:42,439
‎真是歹戲拖棚

546
00:24:42,522 --> 00:24:44,608
‎我們全都失去資源

547
00:24:45,275 --> 00:24:46,860
‎我們丟了火星任務

548
00:24:47,611 --> 00:24:49,446
‎布萊德的蛋蛋椅沒了

549
00:24:49,529 --> 00:24:51,740
‎所以我們在想將大家齊聚一堂

550
00:24:51,823 --> 00:24:56,953
‎祝你們聖誕快樂會是不錯的主意

551
00:24:57,454 --> 00:24:58,538
‎聖誕快樂

552
00:24:58,622 --> 00:25:00,248
‎-但現在是三月
‎-進來吧

553
00:25:00,332 --> 00:25:02,334
‎佳節愉快，聖誕快樂

554
00:25:02,417 --> 00:25:04,336
‎-聖誕快樂
‎-真不錯

555
00:25:05,795 --> 00:25:07,088
‎我來幫忙

556
00:25:09,633 --> 00:25:11,176
‎卡拉OK機

557
00:25:11,259 --> 00:25:13,094
‎“頂級派對搖滾”

558
00:25:13,178 --> 00:25:15,096
‎-太酷了
‎-謝謝你，將軍

559
00:25:15,180 --> 00:25:17,682
‎慢著，我找不到舞曲

560
00:25:17,766 --> 00:25:18,683
‎有沒有杜娃黎波

561
00:25:18,767 --> 00:25:20,352
‎沒有，但他們有《歡樂聖誕》

562
00:25:20,435 --> 00:25:22,729
‎主要是公共區域聖誕音樂

563
00:25:22,812 --> 00:25:26,316
‎艾文和花栗鼠們的作品集呢？

564
00:25:28,068 --> 00:25:29,027
‎《聖善夜》

565
00:25:29,110 --> 00:25:32,030
‎（想妳了
‎來跟我們一起K歌，發射室）

566
00:25:32,113 --> 00:25:33,198
‎瑪麗亞凱莉

567
00:25:33,281 --> 00:25:34,324
‎瑪麗亞凱莉

568
00:25:34,407 --> 00:25:36,326
‎妳覺得這樣寫好嗎？

569
00:25:36,409 --> 00:25:38,662
‎我想要配上唱歌的表情符號

570
00:25:39,329 --> 00:25:40,205
‎很可愛

571
00:25:40,288 --> 00:25:41,122
‎真的嗎？

572
00:26:07,482 --> 00:26:09,734
‎祝你聖誕節快樂

573
00:26:09,818 --> 00:26:12,195
‎還有新年快樂

574
00:26:12,279 --> 00:26:14,614
‎祝你聖誕節快樂

575
00:26:14,698 --> 00:26:17,117
‎祝你聖誕節快樂

576
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:19,452
‎祝你聖誕節快樂

577
00:26:19,536 --> 00:26:21,454
‎還有新年快樂

578
00:26:21,538 --> 00:26:22,497
‎安潔菈呢？

579
00:26:22,581 --> 00:26:24,249
‎我不知道，她剛走

580
00:26:24,958 --> 00:26:27,669
‎說真的，她有在跟別人交往嗎？

581
00:26:27,752 --> 00:26:29,254
‎我不知道，我們一起吧

582
00:26:29,337 --> 00:26:31,548
‎…還有新年快樂

583
00:26:31,631 --> 00:26:34,092
‎祝你聖誕快樂

584
00:26:34,175 --> 00:26:36,511
‎祝你聖誕快樂

585
00:26:36,595 --> 00:26:38,722
‎祝你聖誕快樂

586
00:26:38,805 --> 00:26:45,020
‎還有新年快樂

587
00:28:11,398 --> 00:28:16,319
‎字幕翻譯：林佩孜