I could not be prouder of these brave men and women.
They are truly the best of America.
And as we, as a nation,
look to extend our reach to the moon and beyond,
we find great comfort in the knowledge that this courageous team
will lead us there
along with the many, many engineers and scientists
who stand behind them.
Wonderful words, General. Wonderful words.
We have time for some questions. Anybody have any questions?
Glasses. The guy in the glasses.
Is it true most of you are not astronauts?
Becoming an astronaut is a little like losing your virginity.
You can't claim it until after it happens.
Not all who go into space will be astronauts.
Some will be asked to weld.
Others will be asked to wire.
Unbelievable. What a great answer to a terrible question.
Thank you very much for ruining the moment.
You can sit down. Anybody else have a question?
Anybody? Meredith, are you here?
Text me next time. Meredith, right here. Third row. Meredith, everybody. Yeah.
This mission is happening four years ahead of schedule.
Impressive.
How is it possible that you all are ready, and don't you feel you're being reckless
with the lives of your novice crew?
Well, that's an excellent question.
And to your point, we are, in fact, years ahead of schedule.
You have to keep in mind that the talented tradespeople on our team
have been working at the top of their profession for decades.
So, in effect, they have been training for this their entire lives.
They just didn't know it.
Wow.
Really handled a terrible question very well.
Unbelievable. Thank you so much.
Okay, I mean, I think we nailed it, but does anybody else have any questions?
I don't see any.
Okay, good. Thank you guys so much.
How you doing? Feeling confident?
My entire career will depend on what happens in the next 36 hours.
I'll never get a second chance at this.
And... And frankly, I'm feeling the weight of that.
- I'm sure you are, as well. - I'll be fine.
No. It won't be fine, Mark.
If it doesn't go well, you'll certainly lose your position.
I'll land on my feet.
No. No, you won't, Mark.
There are too many eyes on us.
Stop it. Stop it!
I get it. Keep it together, Adrian.
All right? Just keep it together.
- You know what you're gonna say? - What?
When you step out.
The first woman on the moon. I mean, that's crazy.
Congratulations.
I... I don't know. I'm just gonna do my job.
All right. It's just that, when you start talking,
a billion people are gonna be staring at your mouth.
What are you gonna say?
You know what? Just get dressed,
or I'm gonna send you to space in your underwear.
Yes, ma'am.
Verify actuators.
Verified. Space Force One ready for launch.
- Good luck, spacemen. - Thank you, sir.
- I don't think I wanna go anymore. - Too late for that.
T-minus 45 seconds.
- I'm getting out. - Nope! No! Don't get out.
- I'm leaving too. - Don't do that.
You guys are gonna have a great trip.
A really wonderful time. Enjoy.
You're gonna love the moon.
If not, do we get our money back?
Did you buy tickets from someone?
T-minus 30 seconds.
How do you get the seatbelt open?
Do not take off your seatbelt.
I forgot about my bird!
My God. I'll feed your bird.
What's your bird's name? I'll take care of it.
They're all gonna die.
No. Here she is.
She took the goddamn bird with her.
- What? - Stop the rocket.
- Abortion! - Nope! Not possible.
Mark, an astronaut has the right
to halt any launch.
Go for launch.
We have liftoff.
Fuck, yeah!
Coming up on bearing separation.
Approaching max q.
Side booster shut-down.
And... separation.
We have exited Earth's orbit and reached trajectory.
Next stop, the moon.
Whoo!
- Thirty-six hours. - Thirty-six hours.
Hey. Nice rocket.
Went up good, right?
Really high.
Are you gonna say something? Or...
- It's coming. - Okay.
Um...
Would you care to go to dinner with me tonight?
We could continue the conversation.
Perhaps add other topics.
So it's a, business dinner?
This would be a date.
Hey, ho!
Okay. Yeah.
- Sure. - Okay.
Okay, good.
Great.
I...
would like to point out that I am wearing a wedding ring.
Okay. So now I know what we'll talk about.
I just want to be completely up-front with you.
I don't know if you're familiar with my situation.
My wife is incarcerated.
Yeah. People talk.
So I am in an awkward position right now
where I am both married and available.
I understand if it's too much.
No. That's... cool.
I mean, I'm sorry for your wife, but good for me!
- No, I'm just kidding. That's weird. - Okay.
- But cool. - Eight o'clock, then.
Okay. All right.
Listen...
really I'm interested in mostly just companionship.
Okay.
Like a friend thing? Or is it...
Well, initially, that's... that was my impetus for...
- Okay. All right. - All right, all right.
But, I mean, if something else were to come of it,
- whether it be emotional or physical... - Okay.
- That sounded really creepy. I apologize. - No, I think I get it.
We'll see what happens.
- Okay. - Wing it.
- That sounds good. We'll wing it. - Okay.
I still love my wife.
What?
She's, obviously a part of my life,
but for the next 40 to 60 years, not so much.
Okay. You know what we could do on the date
is not talk so much about your wife.
- That's a good idea. - Just, something to noodle.
We won't talk about the wife...
or sex, or anything.
- What? - Nope. Good night.
That went pretty well.
Erin!
Hey, Dad.
Hey, I didn't know you were running again.
Yeah. Wanna run with me?
- Sure. - I'll slow down for you.
I'll slow down for you.
Ha.
- Go for Naird. - General, we have an emergenc...
You sound funny. Where are you?
I'm running. What's the emergency?
I always forget you have a watch phone.
- That is so cool. - Brad, what's the emergency?
It's bad, sir. It's the Chinese.
You better come in.
I... I gotta go.
Okay.
The Chinese just claimed the entire Sea of Tranquility crater
as a "territory of scientific research."
But no one can own part of the moon.
It violates the Outer Space Treaty.
Technically they're not claiming to own it, just to study it.
See, their research base is here.
We're supposed to land here and set up a habitat here.
About 100 miles away.
Hundred miles seems like plenty of privacy for their study.
We planned a very specific lunar landing site.
It would mess up our mission to alter it.
A fellow scientist would be loath to put our mission at risk.
We need to open a direct line to their research center.
Do you know anybody there?
Science is a brotherhood.
Even if we don't know each other, we know each other.
Dr. Zhang, this is Dr. Adrian Mallory.
First of all, allow me to say that I am delighted to be speaking with you,
colleague to colleague.
And also that your study of the enzymes
which enable the digestion of human hair,
that was a game changer,
and I have the greatest respect for Tsinghua University.
What's your name?
Dr. Adrian Mallory.
Like the duck?
No.
Let me begin by congratulating you on your lunar success.
We are the first to live on the moon.
Well, I'm not sure it matters so much who was first,
but it was a great achievement for humanity nevertheless.
We are the first.
Did news of something called the Apollo missions
reach you there in China?
Maybe that happened.
Maybe not.
We've also heard of the green screen.
But your astronauts slept in the capsule.
The Chinese live in a moon house.
So we are the first.
Yes. Um...
Listen, Dr. Zhang.
I'm calling you in the hopes of clearing something up.
The media is reporting here that you made a statement,
a declaration, which I'm sure was misinterpreted,
mistranslated, but they seem to think that,
on behalf of China,
you laid a claim to the entire Sea of Tranquility.
You stay out. Thank you.
But, Dr. Zhang, you understand that no country can own any part of the moon.
You can't make a claim to...
Not a claim.
We're simply occupying an area of scientific study.
We study the lunar temperature.
And you landing to the crater, that will change the temperature.
Go see other craters.
Thank you. Stay away. Thank you.
Mark, don't overreact.
I'll take this through the proper channels.
In the meantime,
we should probably look for an alternative landing site.
But don't underreact, either.
I don't wanna start an international incident.
And we don't wanna jeopardize our mission.
And, by the way, "Thank you, stay out, thank you" is not very fucking fraternal.
- A... Adrian. - General. General.
Mr. Broser's criminal history
- reaches as far back as 1998... - What is it?
...when he was accused of starting a San Bruno County
and state park brush fire.
We were okay with the plea deal
'cause we thought he'd get shot in Afghanistan.
But I don't mind him going to the moon.
I mind him coming back.
What the fuck, Brad?
- Why didn't you vet that guy? - What?
That's inexcusable.
Me? I don't know how to vet someone.
It's easy, Brad. You just give the name to our head media manager.
Isn't that right, Tony?
Tony?
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- Look up. - The general...
- wants to talk to you. - Yeah. I'd love to talk to him.
- Look at me. - Right there.
- Sure. Yeah. - Tony?
Look up.
- I'd like to see you outside. - Yeah. Of course.
- Somebody's gonna get vetted now. - I'll kill you. I'll fucking kill you.
Try it. I'll snap your neck like a twig.
- How are you, sir? - What the fuck?
What the fuck are you doing? I told you a million times.
Why didn't you vet him?
I told you a million times to vet him! And you didn't vet him!
Next time you're gonna do it!
All right. I need you guys to tell me all the dirt.
Anything terrible any of you might've done.
Who wants to go first?
Don't be scared. We're gonna find out anyway.
Anybody, all right? Take it off like a Band-Aid.
One, two, three. Somebody go.
My grandfather is a terrorist in Ireland.
Holy shit. You came out big from the start.
Has he killed anybody?
No. He's a terrorist that doesn't kill people.
Okay. Okay.
I went to a Halloween party a few years ago as a film negative.
So... blackface?
Wait. What? You did what?
A film negative. It was clever.
All right.
I went as Gandhi once.
That is not okay.
Right?
No, it's not.
Okay.
I can't believe I even have to ask this question.
Has anybody masturbated in front of an unwilling employee?
Define masturbation.
I will not.
Well, however you define it, I definitely did it.
My God.
It is very delicate.
Either we seem weak and let the Chinese have their way,
or we risk pissing them off, and tensions could escalate.
Exactly. I need guidance from the administration.
Or... I'm not telling anyone about this.
You're not telling me about this.
We never spoke.
You just handle it, and I'll write in my notes that
we talked about you meeting a hooker in an airport bathroom.
- What was her name again? - Hooker, sir?
There was no hooker.
Fine. I'll just call her "Charisma." That's my hooker's name.
God.
- Did you find an alternate landing spot? - No.
Our people enter the moon's orbit in 23 hours.
They do?
Adrian, get some rest.
Take a bath. I'm gonna need you sharper than ever tomorrow.
Well, I can't take a bath because, as I mentioned Monday,
I am out of bath salts.
But nobody ever listens to me!
How is yours?
It's delicious. Yes.
You know, people are always talking about the environmental impact of beef,
but, I mean, cows must be, like, "Are you kidding me?
What about the impact of people?
Don't blame everything on our farts."
I just said that so loud.
Well, now everyone in the restaurant knows
that you care deeply about our environment.
So are you actually allowed to date me?
That is the arrangement as it stands, yes.
But, like, the military, they're cool with it?
Yes, you're an independent contractor and not a part of the military. So, yes.
Then why did we drive so far to go to dinner?
'Cause, like, I'm actually open
to seeing whatever happens next in this wacky...
whatever we're doing. Um...
But it just doesn't feel good to feel like I'm being hidden away,
you know, like an old-timey mistress.
I don't want someone to tell my daughter about this
before I get a chance to say something.
I feel like it should come from me.
Yeah, sure. No. My God, I totally understand.
I'm sorry.
No, no, no. Thank you for getting it.
No. God. No, that's just you being a good father.
Well...
Just tell her before we have sex, okay?
Yep. Yep, yep, yep.
- Yep. Yeah. Yeah. - Okay.
You don't tell me where to land. I tell you where to land.
You don't know me. And no, fuck you. I don't know you.
What?
And your paper was...
it was absolutely redundant crap, you nutsack.
Your data set was unreliable.
You confused me with the mallard? I will fuck you up.
Anyway, you only got your position
after your uncle was appointed to the National People's Congress.
Is that a coincidence?
I don't think so.
I will fuck you up.
Hey. Chan. Are you there?
Go for Chan.
"Go for Chan."
I wasn't sure if this was serious.
Can you switch me to a private channel, please?
Yeah.
Hey. How's space, dude?
Space is good.
Listen, um, I think I was supposed to prepare some,
like, awesome sentence for when I set foot on the moon.
A dozen people have set foot on the moon. They only ever remember Armstrong.
Yeah. I will be the first black person and the first woman.
I think people are gonna be paying attention.
Pressure.
Okay. What do you got?
Okay.
I'm thinking,
"It's good to be back on the moon."
- "It's good to be back on the moon"? - Yeah.
That's terrible. Who are you even talking to?
Who's your audience here?
Okay, how about,
"Ladies, if you want to lose a quick 60 pounds, go to the moon."
Thank you. Yes. You think that's better?
Well, it's physics.
It's sexist.
Okay. How about,
"There goes the neighborhood."
You're so dead when I get back.
No, listen, everyone's just trying to tell me what to do.
Like, my women's studies professor was like,
"You have to claim this for women." My mom said to thank Jesus and Dr. King.
Even my ex texted me to shout, "Go Broncos."
- That's a good one. - No.
I'm the one who worked for this.
I like "It's good to be back on the moon."
Why can't I say what I wanna say?
I respect that.
"It's good to be back on the moon."
It's gonna be a classic.
Thanks.
I mean, do consider "There goes the neighborhood."
I think that's good.
Goodbye. I have moon business.
Morning.
Morning, bug.
I woke up so hungry today.
That's all the running you've been doing.
Listen, I, have a question for you.
Yeah?
What would you think if I were to start dating someone?
What?
I don't know.
Your mom and I,
well, we have this forced separation.
- We're not... - Dad, no.
Ew.
You're married.
That's a terrible idea. Mom would be crushed.
- I don't know about that. - I do.
God. No.
What are you even saying?
You and Mom have your visits.
Gross. Okay, that's plenty.
At your age?
When would you even date? There's no time!
You don't even have time to help me with homework.
Please... Please don't date someone. Please?
So sorry. Just gotta get to work.
Hi, Erin.
Okay.
Erin, this is Kelly.
Kelly has a background as a structural engineer.
I can't believe you.
Honey. Hon. Hon.
God.
- What about the Fra Mauro formation? - Asteroids.
The Sea of Serenity has the same protection as Tranquility.
Not in our current orbit.
- It would add days. - Right.
Mark.
I have been up all night thinking about this.
We are being bullied.
Yeah. Possibly.
No. Mark, this is about standing up for ourselves.
Here's a "what if." Okay?
What if your friend, who runs the Navy,
were to move a carrier strike group
or, no, two carrier strike groups,
into the South China Sea?
That would certainly be a very aggressive and provocative act.
But would it work?
We are trying to de-escalate, not start a war.
You know the old sport adage,
"Sometimes the best de-escalation is an escalation."
You recounted to me yourself
that when the Air Force is at a loss of what to do,
they drop a bomb.
So why can't we do that?
Please, just walk me through how... how this could work to our advantage if...
Okay. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
Brad, see if you can get General Tsengjun up on the screen.
- Yes, sir. - Great.
I met him a few years ago at an anti-proliferation conference.
He's a good man.
Mark, you know that this kind of personal diplomacy yields no results.
Sometimes it's important that cooler heads prevail.
Hi. What is the country code for China?
Eighty-six!
I was so happy to hear you're running again.
Dad told you?
No, one of the girls mentioned it.
She kind of couldn't stop talking about you.
Even when I told her you're just in high school.
I think that's why she's here.
Don't hang out with her.
Mom, there's something you need to know,
and it really shouldn't come from me, but there's no one else.
So...
God.
Dad's cheating on you.
He is?
Yeah.
Do you like her? Is she nice to you?
- What the fuck? - Erin, the f-word.
What the shit?
Okay, well, no one says that.
I just told you Dad's having an affair.
Yes. Okay.
He said he wasn't gonna tell you, so I'm glad he changed his mind.
You knew?
It was my idea.
I'm seeing someone too.
A guard.
Her name's Louise.
She makes me laugh.
Okay.
- Okay. - Honey?
Well, now what did I do?
General, it has been a few years.
Yes, it has.
How are your kids?
Just one kid. You know our policy.
- Of course. - General, how can I help?
General, I was hoping to smooth over some of the friction
between our moon bases.
This is how we should always do it.
I completely agree.
I admire your initiative.
I admire your responsiveness.
What is this fucking shit?
General, we would happily share Tranquility.
- Bullshit. - It's just that our team already unloaded
a lot of heavy equipment there,
and then took the forklift apart and turned it into a rover.
Very clever.
I am sorry, but we must ask that you respect the boundaries
of our temperature experiment.
You understand.
Of course.
Let us keep an open line of communication.
Thank you, General.
Well, you laid down like a hooker on quaaludes.
Heavy equipment.
Who brings heavy equipment to the moon?
Bring up the images of the satellite's last pass over Tranquility.
- Oof. - What?
That is an ugly habitat.
- My God. - It's huge.
- Its footprint is ten times ours. - So gaudy.
Okay, okay. What do you see there?
Well, lightweight construction materials.
And... why would they need a forklift?
Let's see a quarter-mile radius.
Wait, back. No, back.
What is that?
Drilling equipment.
H-3?
Postulated to be in great supply there.
What is H-3?
Helium-3. It's fusion without the nuclear reactor.
It's an unlimited source of energy.
Extremely valuable and easy to transport back to Earth.
One cargo hold full
could power the United States for an entire year.
General Tsengjun is not part of their space program,
but he knew all about the temperature study.
How many of our generals know anything about any of your studies,
- including myself? - Zero.
- Fucking sons of bitches.
You can't hide a drilling station, you fucks!
Okay.
General, Space Force One is 50 miles from Tranquility.
If we are setting down, we'll need to begin the approach.
God.
What's the next best option?
Take out your balls.
Okay. You know what?
- This is a very delicate situation. - We have all these weapons.
- You need to relax. - Why don't we use them?
- Sir! - You have to remain calm, Adrian.
Enough with the carrots. Let's use a stick.
- Every time you use the carrot. - Sir.
- Never the stick. - Excuse me.
You're a fuckin' general.
Use the stick.
Bug.
What's going on?
If you and Mom are just gonna disappear,
then there's no "us."
I'm completely on my own.
Why can't I count on just one thing in life?
Honey, you can count on me.
Everyone counts on you.
And I'm always in the back of the line.
No. No. Erin, listen.
I have all of these scientists and astronauts,
the whole Chinese government, and they're all waiting for me,
right now, to make my next move.
But I don't care because I'm here with you.
Right now.
You will always be at the front of the line.
Yeah?
You bet.
What is... What are you doing?
Listen, hon. We'll talk about it later. Yeah?
Forty seconds.
What?
I got 40 seconds with my father.
Honey. Come on.
You really think that number's gonna go up when you start fucking around?
Language, Erin.
Erin.
I miss my dad.
I should call him.
Or I guess I'll see him at dinner tonight.
Space Force One,
initiate landing sequence into the Sea of Tranquility.
Our spacemen come first.
Manual altitude control is good.
Roger. Copy, Space Force One. You are go for landing.
Roger. Understand. Go for landing.
Three thousand feet.
Two thousand feet. Into the AGS, 47 degrees.
Three hundred fifty feet.
I thought we were stopping somewhere first.
- You're too tilted. - I'm not.
You do seem tilted.
- You are ordered to be quiet. - Yes, ma'am.
There's a nice, flat spot right over there.
- Ordered to be quiet. - Yes, sir.
Sixty feet. Three and a half down, nine forward.
- Five percent. - I'm getting out.
Don't get out!
Contact.
Engine stop.
Descent engine command override off.
Wild Horse, Space Force One has landed.
We are now Habitat One.
Habitat One to begin stage one structure prep.
- Eddie, please begin unloading. - Negative, Captain Ali.
- Sir? - You just had a long flight.
Maybe you should stretch your legs.
Captain Ali, I think that you should go for a walk.
Outside? A moon walk, sir?
Yes. See what the weather's like out there.
Need me to say it twice?
No.No, sir.
Okay.
It's good to be black on the moon.
Goddamnit.
Well, I guess we get to keep our jobs.
I fear I didn't keep it together.
Did we really just do what we really just did?
We really did.
If they were angry about something, they should've just called me.