1 00:00:16,062 --> 00:00:18,815 {\an8}That is the most horrifying thing I have ever seen. 2 00:00:18,898 --> 00:00:20,650 It's desecrating a sacred object. 3 00:00:20,734 --> 00:00:23,570 Agreed. They just trampled over the American Koran. 4 00:00:23,653 --> 00:00:26,489 Isn't that breaking a US law, even on the moon? 5 00:00:26,573 --> 00:00:29,034 US law applies 200 miles from a US flag. 6 00:00:29,117 --> 00:00:30,702 Two hundred miles from the coastline. 7 00:00:30,785 --> 00:00:33,121 Now, is the moon 200 miles away? 8 00:00:33,204 --> 00:00:35,957 It is not, and running over a flag is not illegal. 9 00:00:36,041 --> 00:00:37,208 You're not a lawyer, Naird. 10 00:00:37,292 --> 00:00:38,418 I'm a corporate lawyer. 11 00:00:38,501 --> 00:00:41,141 They could argue that we abandoned that flag when we left the moon. 12 00:00:41,171 --> 00:00:42,338 That would make it trash. 13 00:00:42,714 --> 00:00:45,925 Take... that... back. 14 00:00:46,009 --> 00:00:47,343 I just meant legally. 15 00:00:47,427 --> 00:00:49,971 Obviously, it's not trash. It's the soul of America. 16 00:00:50,055 --> 00:00:52,515 We should run over one of their flags, tit for tat. 17 00:00:52,599 --> 00:00:54,726 Where we gonna find a Chinese flag on the moon? 18 00:00:55,268 --> 00:00:56,519 Make one out of our own? 19 00:00:56,603 --> 00:01:01,357 You don't rip up an American flag to create a Chinese flag, you moron. 20 00:01:01,441 --> 00:01:02,817 We need to hit back hard. 21 00:01:02,901 --> 00:01:03,735 We can bomb. 22 00:01:03,818 --> 00:01:05,403 Big bomb, little bomb. 23 00:01:05,487 --> 00:01:06,964 Smart bomb, stupid bomb. 24 00:01:06,988 --> 00:01:08,364 There's one for every occasion. 25 00:01:08,448 --> 00:01:09,991 A flag is a symbol. 26 00:01:10,075 --> 00:01:12,494 You can't kill people for insulting a symbol. 27 00:01:12,577 --> 00:01:14,037 If it were up to me, we'd invade. 28 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:15,288 I'm talking some serious 29 00:01:15,371 --> 00:01:17,707 bull-in-a-China shop action. 30 00:01:17,791 --> 00:01:20,126 Let's knock down the Great Wall they're so proud of. 31 00:01:20,210 --> 00:01:22,146 We got all these weapons. We're never allowed to use them. 32 00:01:22,170 --> 00:01:23,046 Drives me crazy. 33 00:01:23,129 --> 00:01:25,757 Yeah, I talk to my therapist about this all the time. 34 00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:27,443 Where are we at with nukes? 35 00:01:27,467 --> 00:01:28,986 No, no. We're not going to nuke China. 36 00:01:29,010 --> 00:01:31,304 Could we get back on track here for a second? 37 00:01:31,387 --> 00:01:33,473 Does anyone have a valid suggestion to make? 38 00:01:33,556 --> 00:01:35,809 We're just joking around, Grandma. Jeez! 39 00:01:35,892 --> 00:01:38,561 Yeah, just blowing off steam there. Don't be such a pussy. 40 00:01:38,895 --> 00:01:40,814 Wait. What? No. No, no, no. 41 00:01:40,897 --> 00:01:45,151 We need to do one of these ideas, at least. Maybe more, right? Come on! 42 00:01:45,235 --> 00:01:48,404 I mean, aren't you guys tired of everybody using us like a doormat? 43 00:01:51,199 --> 00:01:55,453 Look, this happened in space, so the response must be in space as well. 44 00:01:55,537 --> 00:01:58,456 - I have consulted a space attorney. - What the fuck? 45 00:01:58,540 --> 00:02:01,376 - There's no such thing. You got scammed. - Now who's the dope? 46 00:02:01,459 --> 00:02:04,337 We signed an international outer space treaty. 47 00:02:04,420 --> 00:02:06,923 Any sort of violence and we break that treaty. 48 00:02:07,006 --> 00:02:08,758 We must retaliate. I will handle it. 49 00:02:08,842 --> 00:02:09,968 POTUS will be very happy. 50 00:02:10,051 --> 00:02:12,428 We will do something significant and proportionate. 51 00:02:12,512 --> 00:02:15,765 I don't think POTUS will be happy with a proportionate response. 52 00:02:16,599 --> 00:02:20,228 Well, then, it'll be a little more than proportionate. 53 00:02:20,311 --> 00:02:22,939 I have taken it upon myself to have a focus group 54 00:02:23,022 --> 00:02:26,484 in which we can determine what would be an appropriate response. 55 00:02:26,901 --> 00:02:29,779 Ideally, what would you like to see happen on the moon? Anybody. 56 00:02:31,698 --> 00:02:34,325 Research that benefits mankind. 57 00:02:34,784 --> 00:02:36,578 Yeah. Okay. What about you? What about you? 58 00:02:36,661 --> 00:02:40,165 Yeah, something that helps everyone and justifies the cost. 59 00:02:40,248 --> 00:02:41,374 Yeah. Yeah. 60 00:02:41,457 --> 00:02:44,061 What would be an example of something bad that could happen on the moon? 61 00:02:44,085 --> 00:02:45,503 Anybody wanna answer that? 62 00:02:46,504 --> 00:02:50,300 An accident where a person gets hurt. 63 00:02:50,383 --> 00:02:52,103 Yeah, that would be bad, wouldn't it? 64 00:02:52,343 --> 00:02:54,762 Could you ever imagine supporting a war on the moon? 65 00:02:54,846 --> 00:02:55,846 No. 66 00:02:56,264 --> 00:02:57,599 That would be a terrible waste. 67 00:02:57,682 --> 00:02:58,682 Really? 68 00:02:58,975 --> 00:03:00,768 Do me a favor. Watch this video real quick. 69 00:03:04,230 --> 00:03:06,482 That's America! Keep watching. It's not over. 70 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,612 Beep, beep, beep. Crunch. 71 00:03:11,070 --> 00:03:12,071 Huh? 72 00:03:12,155 --> 00:03:14,073 Does nobody respect us? Keep looking. 73 00:03:14,157 --> 00:03:16,618 That is our country they're rolling all over. 74 00:03:17,702 --> 00:03:19,495 Yeah, we have to do something about that. 75 00:03:19,579 --> 00:03:22,832 I mean, maybe not a war, but we should definitely do something. 76 00:03:22,916 --> 00:03:24,876 I'm loving this. Okay, this is fantastic. 77 00:03:24,959 --> 00:03:27,795 Let's feel out this direction. Let's keep it going. Okay, what else? 78 00:03:27,879 --> 00:03:30,089 It should be retaliation on the same level. 79 00:03:30,173 --> 00:03:33,134 Like, it should be a prank. It should be like... graffiti! 80 00:03:33,218 --> 00:03:35,220 Graffiti? All right, keep going. That's not bad. 81 00:03:35,303 --> 00:03:36,679 Um... ding-dong ditch. 82 00:03:37,055 --> 00:03:40,266 Brown paper bag on fire, but there's poop in it. 83 00:03:42,602 --> 00:03:44,437 - I don't know whose poop. - Right, okay. 84 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:47,148 - TP their rocket! - TP their rocket! 85 00:03:47,232 --> 00:03:48,149 I love this. 86 00:03:48,233 --> 00:03:49,108 That's what it takes, 87 00:03:49,192 --> 00:03:51,110 a 100-year-old white man to make this work! 88 00:03:51,194 --> 00:03:54,030 Okay, let's pop it on the board. Here we go! 89 00:04:27,814 --> 00:04:29,691 How can there be no hammers? 90 00:04:29,774 --> 00:04:31,442 We must have packed hammers. 91 00:04:31,526 --> 00:04:35,238 No. None of the big doctor brains packed a hammer. 92 00:04:35,321 --> 00:04:38,783 There are wrenches. Then use a wrench as a hammer. 93 00:04:38,866 --> 00:04:41,536 That's not how you take care of your wrenches! 94 00:04:41,619 --> 00:04:43,997 No toothbrushes or deodorant either, 95 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:47,166 but there are ten years' worth of tampons, for some reason. 96 00:04:47,250 --> 00:04:50,753 Wait. Young man, what are you using as a shovel? 97 00:04:51,296 --> 00:04:53,715 Sir, it's actually Spaceman Obie Hanrahan, sir! 98 00:04:53,798 --> 00:04:55,800 And I'm using a metal moon scoop 99 00:04:55,883 --> 00:04:58,594 with an adjustable crescent-shaped head, sir! 100 00:04:58,678 --> 00:05:00,805 That's a wrench, you dimwit. 101 00:05:00,888 --> 00:05:02,849 Hey, what's that hissing noise? 102 00:05:02,932 --> 00:05:04,017 Jesus... Uh... 103 00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:07,562 you have to patch that up immediately, or you'll all die. 104 00:05:07,645 --> 00:05:10,106 The... The duct tape's in locker 1. 105 00:05:10,189 --> 00:05:13,943 Dr. Mallory, the Chinese Space Agency just posted some video of their base. 106 00:05:15,570 --> 00:05:18,031 - Wow. - Put it on the big screen. 107 00:05:24,412 --> 00:05:26,372 How many pillows do you need? 108 00:05:26,456 --> 00:05:28,291 It's already one-sixth gravity. 109 00:05:29,792 --> 00:05:31,228 How many did you serve like this? 110 00:05:31,252 --> 00:05:34,422 "How many did you serve like this?" 111 00:05:34,505 --> 00:05:35,965 Are you drunk right now? 112 00:05:38,259 --> 00:05:39,677 Fine. You're fired. 113 00:05:40,011 --> 00:05:41,179 Should I tell your dad? 114 00:05:41,971 --> 00:05:43,222 You know, sure, dude. 115 00:05:43,681 --> 00:05:44,766 Tell him. 116 00:05:44,849 --> 00:05:47,602 He doesn't have a fucking leg to stand on. 117 00:05:55,902 --> 00:05:57,236 Okay, this is what I learned, 118 00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:59,030 and I think you're gonna go crazy for this. 119 00:05:59,113 --> 00:06:01,824 There are three cans of shaving cream on that moon base, 120 00:06:01,908 --> 00:06:03,451 and there's two cans of hairspray. 121 00:06:03,534 --> 00:06:07,121 If we just switch those nozzles, we can cause some serious mischief. 122 00:06:07,205 --> 00:06:09,415 It's not enough. They trampled our flag. 123 00:06:09,499 --> 00:06:10,541 What else you got? 124 00:06:10,625 --> 00:06:14,962 Okay, your eyebrows tested poorly in men and women ages six to 45. 125 00:06:15,046 --> 00:06:16,464 Why are you testing my eyebrows? 126 00:06:16,547 --> 00:06:17,423 It was unsolicited. 127 00:06:17,507 --> 00:06:19,109 People just want to talk about your eyebrows. 128 00:06:19,133 --> 00:06:21,070 The joint chiefs are on the phone in the conference room. 129 00:06:21,094 --> 00:06:22,136 They want an update. 130 00:06:24,305 --> 00:06:25,473 How's it going, General? 131 00:06:25,556 --> 00:06:26,808 Every news outlet on the planet 132 00:06:26,891 --> 00:06:30,019 is showing some Chinese rover doing donuts on our most sacred... 133 00:06:30,561 --> 00:06:31,562 cloth. 134 00:06:32,021 --> 00:06:34,107 We need a quick military response. 135 00:06:34,315 --> 00:06:35,650 - Oorah! - Hooah! 136 00:06:35,733 --> 00:06:36,567 - Hooyah! - Hooyah! 137 00:06:36,651 --> 00:06:38,236 Booyah! 138 00:06:38,319 --> 00:06:40,446 You have the go-ahead to attack the Chinese base. 139 00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:41,530 How do you wanna do it? 140 00:06:41,572 --> 00:06:43,658 Our lead suggestion from the focus group 141 00:06:43,741 --> 00:06:45,743 would be to shaving-cream the shit out of them. 142 00:06:46,327 --> 00:06:47,578 And if that's not enough, 143 00:06:48,037 --> 00:06:51,416 we also have the capability to TP as well. 144 00:06:51,499 --> 00:06:54,710 And possibly graffiti the side of their base with "China sucks." 145 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:56,754 Sound good? 146 00:06:56,838 --> 00:06:59,006 - Oora... - No! No, no, no. 147 00:06:59,090 --> 00:07:01,509 We need to burn that Chinese base to the ground. 148 00:07:01,592 --> 00:07:03,469 I thought that's why you brought an arsonist! 149 00:07:05,263 --> 00:07:08,307 Well, not really, obviously. 150 00:07:08,391 --> 00:07:10,685 Yes, really, obviously! 151 00:07:10,768 --> 00:07:14,021 This... This has been debated in the policy circles 152 00:07:14,439 --> 00:07:16,441 as high up in the administration as you can think! 153 00:07:16,524 --> 00:07:17,692 It's time to stand tough! 154 00:07:20,361 --> 00:07:22,864 Look, nobody wants to get back at these commie bastards 155 00:07:22,947 --> 00:07:24,407 more than I do, but... 156 00:07:24,824 --> 00:07:29,287 breaking a treaty with a reprisal attack of unwarranted destruction, 157 00:07:29,370 --> 00:07:33,499 and putting noncombatant scientists in harm's way... 158 00:07:33,875 --> 00:07:35,001 Mmm... 159 00:07:35,084 --> 00:07:37,420 That's like three violations of the Geneva Convention. 160 00:07:37,503 --> 00:07:38,838 Okay, look. 161 00:07:38,921 --> 00:07:40,715 I'm not a professional politician, 162 00:07:40,798 --> 00:07:43,718 but this European International Treaty, come on! 163 00:07:43,801 --> 00:07:45,362 Don't get captured like a bunch of losers, 164 00:07:45,386 --> 00:07:47,513 and you don't have to worry about how they treat you. 165 00:07:48,014 --> 00:07:51,184 How about we just continue to look for some more creative solutions? 166 00:07:51,267 --> 00:07:53,436 Yeah, well, I think destroying the base is lame, 167 00:07:53,519 --> 00:07:57,064 and it's a war crime, uh, which you should never ever do. 168 00:07:57,148 --> 00:07:58,208 - All right, look! - Uh, okay. 169 00:07:58,232 --> 00:07:59,734 You have your orders, Naird! 170 00:08:00,193 --> 00:08:02,111 I need a complete outline and strategy 171 00:08:02,195 --> 00:08:04,822 for this battle plan to destroy this Chinese base, 172 00:08:04,906 --> 00:08:08,159 and I need it shock, I need awe, and I need it in PDF, 173 00:08:08,242 --> 00:08:09,994 'cause my computer doesn't have Word. 174 00:08:13,706 --> 00:08:14,706 God. 175 00:08:17,543 --> 00:08:19,629 So that is the order from the top. 176 00:08:20,338 --> 00:08:21,839 You can't do that. 177 00:08:22,507 --> 00:08:25,635 These are scientists and astronauts. 178 00:08:25,718 --> 00:08:27,595 I have to. It's the chain of command. 179 00:08:27,678 --> 00:08:32,517 Mark, they just named the flat area where we landed The Plains of Mallory. 180 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:35,561 Oh, that is so cool. Congrats. 181 00:08:35,645 --> 00:08:40,483 Thank you. But now, it could become the site of the first moon atrocity. 182 00:08:40,566 --> 00:08:42,902 I don't want to read that in a textbook. 183 00:08:42,985 --> 00:08:44,487 Yeah, nobody wants that. 184 00:08:45,488 --> 00:08:47,490 I'm sure cooler heads will prevail. 185 00:08:47,573 --> 00:08:48,824 Just some saber-rattling. 186 00:08:49,909 --> 00:08:53,079 The next resupply can't launch for a month, so... 187 00:08:53,829 --> 00:08:57,833 hopefully, they'll have the time to cool off before the guns show up. 188 00:08:59,210 --> 00:09:00,210 Yeah. 189 00:09:12,682 --> 00:09:14,976 Captain Ali, I'd like you to look in locker 5. 190 00:09:15,935 --> 00:09:17,144 It says "spare oxygen." 191 00:09:17,228 --> 00:09:18,228 Just open it. 192 00:09:25,528 --> 00:09:28,030 Okay, but we do have spare oxygen somewhere, right? 193 00:09:29,949 --> 00:09:31,510 What do you want us to do with these, General? 194 00:09:31,534 --> 00:09:32,535 I'm not sure yet. 195 00:09:32,952 --> 00:09:35,413 Just, uh, show everyone how to use them. 196 00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:37,665 Make sure they're cleaned and loaded. 197 00:09:38,708 --> 00:09:39,708 Yes, sir. 198 00:09:40,876 --> 00:09:42,795 Loading and cleaning guns. 199 00:09:43,212 --> 00:09:47,883 Feels like no matter what I start doing, I always end up loading and cleaning guns. 200 00:09:48,217 --> 00:09:50,803 I haven't been allowed to touch one of these in forever. 201 00:09:50,886 --> 00:09:52,722 I just hope the general knows what he's doing. 202 00:09:53,639 --> 00:09:55,141 What if the Chinese have guns? 203 00:09:56,017 --> 00:09:58,060 No. They're a research center. 204 00:09:58,603 --> 00:09:59,645 So are we. 205 00:10:02,982 --> 00:10:06,152 You already have guns on board? 206 00:10:06,235 --> 00:10:09,614 No toothbrushes, but room for guns? 207 00:10:09,697 --> 00:10:11,449 You lied to me, Naird! 208 00:10:11,532 --> 00:10:13,117 General Naird, Chief Scientist! 209 00:10:13,618 --> 00:10:15,036 They were for self-defense. 210 00:10:15,119 --> 00:10:16,370 Oh, sure they were! 211 00:10:16,454 --> 00:10:19,999 Sometimes, provocation requires a show of force! 212 00:10:20,082 --> 00:10:23,461 Neville Chamberlain didn't do that, and Hitler invaded Poland! 213 00:10:23,544 --> 00:10:26,255 Not everything is World War II! 214 00:10:26,339 --> 00:10:28,507 Well, not everything is Vietnam! 215 00:10:28,591 --> 00:10:31,093 I thought you were one of the good guys, 216 00:10:31,177 --> 00:10:33,554 with your John Wayne swagger. 217 00:10:33,638 --> 00:10:35,514 But you're no John Wayne. 218 00:10:35,598 --> 00:10:37,516 You are Wayne John! 219 00:10:38,601 --> 00:10:40,728 - Who? - Wayne John! 220 00:10:40,811 --> 00:10:41,979 Wayne John! 221 00:10:42,438 --> 00:10:43,939 I worked with him at IBM! 222 00:10:44,023 --> 00:10:45,900 He stole pencils! 223 00:10:45,983 --> 00:10:47,360 My pencils! 224 00:10:47,443 --> 00:10:50,404 If you had any integrity at all, you would quit! 225 00:10:50,488 --> 00:10:53,658 The person in line behind me will be even worse! 226 00:10:53,741 --> 00:10:57,536 I know I'm not perfect, but I know I'm not the worst. 227 00:10:57,620 --> 00:11:00,956 Well, you take that up with your next chief scientist. 228 00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:02,875 - I quit! - Adrian! 229 00:11:02,958 --> 00:11:03,958 Adrian! 230 00:11:05,294 --> 00:11:06,337 Adrian! 231 00:11:06,420 --> 00:11:09,298 Adrian! Adrian! 232 00:11:09,382 --> 00:11:11,717 Rocky! Rocky! 233 00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:12,802 Right? 234 00:11:30,027 --> 00:11:31,227 Hey, Captain Ali. 235 00:11:34,990 --> 00:11:37,535 Whoa. What up, stalker? 236 00:11:38,077 --> 00:11:40,705 Just sitting there all creepy, staring at me. 237 00:11:41,956 --> 00:11:43,624 How long have you been watching me, huh? 238 00:11:43,958 --> 00:11:46,043 Do you watch me sleep, too? 239 00:11:46,127 --> 00:11:48,295 Do you want me to be watching you? 240 00:11:49,422 --> 00:11:52,341 Uh, no. Gross. I was just messing around. 241 00:11:53,551 --> 00:11:55,671 Well, that's not the story your heart rate is telling. 242 00:11:57,972 --> 00:11:59,557 I'm going into battle tomorrow. 243 00:12:01,058 --> 00:12:04,603 Anyway, um, I kind of thought you were calling me 244 00:12:04,687 --> 00:12:07,314 with an "I just want you to know." 245 00:12:07,398 --> 00:12:08,482 A what? 246 00:12:09,275 --> 00:12:10,794 You know, an "I just want you to know." 247 00:12:10,818 --> 00:12:14,321 It's like when people are like, "If we never see each other again, 248 00:12:14,739 --> 00:12:16,115 I just want you to know, 249 00:12:17,158 --> 00:12:19,535 like, how I feel." 250 00:12:21,746 --> 00:12:22,955 Um... 251 00:12:23,205 --> 00:12:25,958 You know that all communications with the launch room 252 00:12:26,041 --> 00:12:28,461 are recorded for posterity, Captain? 253 00:12:30,212 --> 00:12:32,006 Okay. No. Copy that, Scientist. 254 00:12:32,089 --> 00:12:34,675 Yes, loud and clear, and never mind. 255 00:12:35,217 --> 00:12:36,844 Actually, Chief Scientist now. 256 00:12:36,927 --> 00:12:38,220 Dr. Mallory quit today. 257 00:12:38,929 --> 00:12:40,389 Oh, wow. I mean... 258 00:12:41,474 --> 00:12:42,641 Congratulations, I guess. 259 00:12:42,725 --> 00:12:45,561 But I also can't help thinking that means I'm fucked. 260 00:12:46,228 --> 00:12:47,855 No. You're a superhero. 261 00:12:47,938 --> 00:12:49,732 And the queen of TikTok. 262 00:12:50,524 --> 00:12:51,609 The what? 263 00:12:52,067 --> 00:12:53,795 It's good to be black on the moon. 264 00:12:53,819 --> 00:12:54,695 Goddamn it. 265 00:12:54,779 --> 00:12:56,697 Okay. 266 00:12:57,239 --> 00:13:00,910 I cannot believe that's only like the tenth weirdest thing about today. 267 00:13:02,578 --> 00:13:03,704 Thanks for showing me. 268 00:13:04,455 --> 00:13:06,832 Yeah. Well, I just wanted you to know. 269 00:13:07,625 --> 00:13:08,626 That I'm a meme? 270 00:13:08,709 --> 00:13:11,712 Yeah! You know, in case, like, we never see each other again, 271 00:13:12,296 --> 00:13:13,881 I just wanted you to know. 272 00:13:20,638 --> 00:13:22,181 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 273 00:13:25,851 --> 00:13:27,770 Is there any, uh, sauce? 274 00:13:31,524 --> 00:13:32,650 I forgot the sauce. 275 00:13:32,900 --> 00:13:34,318 Oh, that's no problem. 276 00:13:34,401 --> 00:13:37,738 Do you have any cheese or, uh, is there salad? 277 00:13:40,991 --> 00:13:43,244 Mark, you said you were a good cook. 278 00:13:43,327 --> 00:13:44,327 Yeah. 279 00:13:44,620 --> 00:13:46,622 I'm so sorry. I'm not gonna eat this. 280 00:13:47,081 --> 00:13:48,916 I'm not two years old. 281 00:13:48,999 --> 00:13:50,000 I apologize. 282 00:13:50,084 --> 00:13:51,502 My focus is off. 283 00:13:51,585 --> 00:13:53,921 - What's up? - Adrian Mallory quit today. 284 00:13:54,630 --> 00:13:56,799 Why? Did you make him dinner? 285 00:13:58,634 --> 00:14:02,012 He didn't like something that the military was doing. 286 00:14:02,429 --> 00:14:04,807 Oh, well, he sounds like a spoiled little shit. 287 00:14:05,307 --> 00:14:07,476 Sometimes he is, but not this time. 288 00:14:08,477 --> 00:14:11,355 Well, will he come back if you stop doing what you're doing? 289 00:14:11,772 --> 00:14:13,941 Ah, I can't. It was an order. 290 00:14:16,569 --> 00:14:17,569 No, what are you doing? 291 00:14:17,611 --> 00:14:20,656 Mark, what are you... No. Stop it. I cannot let you eat that. 292 00:14:20,739 --> 00:14:21,574 It's barely cooked. 293 00:14:21,657 --> 00:14:22,741 It's crunchy. 294 00:14:22,825 --> 00:14:23,951 Oh, God. Here. 295 00:14:25,327 --> 00:14:26,745 No, no, no. No, no. 296 00:14:29,290 --> 00:14:33,043 I may be called upon to make a decision that I have to be completely sober for. 297 00:14:33,127 --> 00:14:36,213 It's not about sex, is it? Cause I don't mind if you're tipsy. 298 00:14:40,384 --> 00:14:43,762 I have to be prepared to order soldiers into battle. 299 00:14:45,097 --> 00:14:46,473 Can't really talk about it. 300 00:14:51,687 --> 00:14:52,980 I don't know what to do. 301 00:14:59,278 --> 00:15:00,696 When you asked me out, 302 00:15:01,530 --> 00:15:03,699 you knew you had to tell me about your wife. 303 00:15:04,199 --> 00:15:06,327 Even though it would probably ruin things. 304 00:15:07,161 --> 00:15:09,622 You literally couldn't do the wrong thing. 305 00:15:10,789 --> 00:15:12,249 So I'm not worried about you. 306 00:15:14,209 --> 00:15:16,754 What if I don't know what the right thing to do is? 307 00:15:20,591 --> 00:15:21,591 But you do. 308 00:15:22,343 --> 00:15:23,343 Don't you? 309 00:15:33,103 --> 00:15:34,355 Help me defy an order. 310 00:15:38,984 --> 00:15:40,027 Ooh. 311 00:15:42,112 --> 00:15:43,656 That is where I shine. 312 00:15:44,281 --> 00:15:47,534 I've been defying authority since I was 13. 313 00:15:51,789 --> 00:15:52,873 And now I'm gonna teach you 314 00:15:52,957 --> 00:15:55,918 to use the most subversive weapon known to man: 315 00:15:56,001 --> 00:15:57,127 passive-aggression. 316 00:15:57,211 --> 00:15:58,504 Oh, God, I hate that. 317 00:15:58,587 --> 00:15:59,463 Yeah, of course, 318 00:15:59,546 --> 00:16:03,217 because you're a straight white male, you always had other weapons. 319 00:16:03,300 --> 00:16:07,096 But the rest of us, we have to be subtle in our disobedience, 320 00:16:07,179 --> 00:16:08,305 or we risk punishment. 321 00:16:08,389 --> 00:16:10,724 Oh, so interesting. Go on. I'm so interested. 322 00:16:10,808 --> 00:16:13,519 No, see, that's sarcasm. That's different. 323 00:16:13,852 --> 00:16:15,771 Imagine in this situation, 324 00:16:15,854 --> 00:16:19,233 you could say that you're following through with the order, 325 00:16:19,316 --> 00:16:20,985 but then you forget to, 326 00:16:21,068 --> 00:16:23,862 or you can interpret that order creatively. 327 00:16:23,946 --> 00:16:26,615 "Destroy the bathroom" could mean a number of things 328 00:16:26,699 --> 00:16:30,202 and, if all else fails, you can feign incompetent, 329 00:16:30,285 --> 00:16:31,578 which shouldn't be a problem. 330 00:16:31,662 --> 00:16:33,539 Well, that explains Brad, doesn't it? 331 00:16:33,622 --> 00:16:34,915 Not entirely. 332 00:16:35,332 --> 00:16:36,332 Huh. 333 00:16:41,088 --> 00:16:42,840 - What are we to do? - I'll handle it! 334 00:16:42,923 --> 00:16:43,924 He'll handle it. 335 00:16:44,883 --> 00:16:47,970 Mr. Secretary, I just want to let you know before we begin, 336 00:16:48,053 --> 00:16:50,723 that I am running low on cell battery, so I may lose you. 337 00:16:50,806 --> 00:16:52,850 Uh, here's the situation as it stands. 338 00:16:53,684 --> 00:16:54,684 Well done, sir. 339 00:16:55,060 --> 00:16:56,900 Nobody answer the phone for the next two hours. 340 00:16:56,979 --> 00:16:57,979 Yes, sir. 341 00:17:03,277 --> 00:17:05,112 Oh, my God. Oh, my God! 342 00:17:05,487 --> 00:17:07,906 Oh, shit! Oh, shit. 343 00:17:16,123 --> 00:17:17,123 Got a smoke? 344 00:17:20,502 --> 00:17:21,670 Can't buy your own? 345 00:17:22,296 --> 00:17:23,296 I can. 346 00:17:24,048 --> 00:17:25,507 Just don't feel like it. 347 00:17:32,181 --> 00:17:33,181 Tell you what. 348 00:17:34,016 --> 00:17:35,392 I'll give it to you in my truck. 349 00:17:41,106 --> 00:17:42,816 Come on. We're going to a party. 350 00:17:48,739 --> 00:17:49,739 Fuck it. 351 00:18:14,598 --> 00:18:15,682 I've got it. 352 00:18:15,766 --> 00:18:19,436 Beijing is hosting the Winter Olympics 2022. 353 00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:20,437 We boycott. 354 00:18:20,521 --> 00:18:21,814 Then they win even more medals. 355 00:18:21,897 --> 00:18:24,775 No, China's surprisingly awful at Winter Olympic sports. 356 00:18:24,858 --> 00:18:26,777 But boy-oh-boy, Norway would be happy. 357 00:18:26,860 --> 00:18:28,821 Okay, say you are a criminal. 358 00:18:29,321 --> 00:18:31,615 What would be meaner than TP-ing somebody's house, 359 00:18:31,698 --> 00:18:34,660 but not as aggressive as home invasion-slash-murder? 360 00:18:34,743 --> 00:18:37,463 Tying the family up and letting them think they're gonna be murdered. 361 00:18:37,496 --> 00:18:39,748 Then they live with the fear and horror forever. 362 00:18:40,749 --> 00:18:43,544 Jesus, Brad. No wonder my dogs are scared of you. 363 00:18:45,671 --> 00:18:47,422 Uh, excuse me, General, sir. 364 00:18:47,506 --> 00:18:49,800 The Sec Def is on in the conference room for you. 365 00:18:51,009 --> 00:18:52,009 Balls! 366 00:18:52,261 --> 00:18:54,346 All right, tell him I'll be right there. 367 00:18:54,429 --> 00:18:55,472 Put him on hold. 368 00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:58,618 - What are you gonna say? - I'm not gonna say anything. 369 00:18:58,642 --> 00:19:01,145 I'm gonna go eat egg salad sandwiches until I puke. 370 00:19:12,406 --> 00:19:13,448 Uh... 371 00:19:15,576 --> 00:19:16,743 Hey. Hey! 372 00:19:17,244 --> 00:19:19,604 Hey, I think, um, you can just let me out, like, right here. 373 00:19:19,663 --> 00:19:21,540 That's... That's totally fine. 374 00:19:23,917 --> 00:19:25,419 Hey. You guys. 375 00:19:26,044 --> 00:19:28,046 Hey! Let me out here, okay? 376 00:19:29,673 --> 00:19:31,008 Excuse me! 377 00:19:31,758 --> 00:19:33,552 Can you please let me out? 378 00:19:35,179 --> 00:19:36,597 Fucking kidding me! 379 00:19:40,809 --> 00:19:43,562 What the hell? Did you guys not hear me yelling? 380 00:20:04,291 --> 00:20:05,334 They're stonewalling us. 381 00:20:05,417 --> 00:20:07,294 Where... Where... Where's Grabaston? 382 00:20:07,377 --> 00:20:09,046 In the air and ready to swoop in! 383 00:20:09,546 --> 00:20:12,716 Big Eagle is ready to replace the Dodo Bird! 384 00:20:12,799 --> 00:20:14,843 I like what you said up there. 385 00:20:14,927 --> 00:20:16,803 I wish I was black on the moon. 386 00:20:17,721 --> 00:20:18,721 Thank you, sir. 387 00:20:19,389 --> 00:20:22,434 Captain, when we first met, you disobeyed an order. 388 00:20:24,144 --> 00:20:25,896 Yeah, I remember it well, sir. 389 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:28,357 Today, I'm thinking about doing the same. 390 00:20:29,900 --> 00:20:32,027 This is being recorded, General. 391 00:20:35,447 --> 00:20:40,410 The generation that won World War II was exposed to so much awful reality 392 00:20:40,494 --> 00:20:45,332 that they made mostly good decisions for a long time after. 393 00:20:47,042 --> 00:20:51,171 Forget history, and you are doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past. 394 00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:53,715 Forget how bad polio was, 395 00:20:54,341 --> 00:20:55,968 people stop taking vaccines. 396 00:20:57,302 --> 00:20:59,263 Forget how bad world wars are, 397 00:20:59,346 --> 00:21:01,390 people start puffing out their chests. 398 00:21:03,016 --> 00:21:04,851 The real enemy is arrogance. 399 00:21:09,356 --> 00:21:13,193 Angela, I think there are springs and bolts and such 400 00:21:13,277 --> 00:21:15,404 in those Manchester Arms devices 401 00:21:15,487 --> 00:21:17,948 that would be better used to build your habitat. 402 00:21:18,031 --> 00:21:21,702 I'd like you to disassemble them and let Eddie use the parts. 403 00:21:22,244 --> 00:21:24,997 You're telling me to... 404 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:27,708 to take the guns apart, which would disable them, General. 405 00:21:27,791 --> 00:21:28,834 That is correct. 406 00:21:31,962 --> 00:21:33,171 Thin ice, General. 407 00:21:34,131 --> 00:21:35,257 Thin ice. 408 00:21:53,734 --> 00:21:54,734 ID? 409 00:21:56,611 --> 00:21:57,779 Step aside, Gomer. 410 00:21:58,655 --> 00:22:02,784 Sir, I need to see some Space Force ID to let anyone inside. 411 00:22:03,201 --> 00:22:05,120 Here is my Space Force ID. 412 00:22:12,377 --> 00:22:14,588 And a second ID with a photo. 413 00:22:16,006 --> 00:22:18,258 A passport, Costco card. 414 00:22:19,009 --> 00:22:20,260 If you have to run on home... 415 00:22:20,344 --> 00:22:21,803 Oh, for fuck's sakes, restrain him. 416 00:22:21,887 --> 00:22:22,887 Gladly. 417 00:22:31,063 --> 00:22:32,230 General Naird! 418 00:22:32,981 --> 00:22:37,402 You were ordered to order an attack, and I am ordering you to obey that order. 419 00:22:37,486 --> 00:22:39,029 I'm not your waitress, Kick. 420 00:22:39,112 --> 00:22:41,615 I'm going to count to 125. 421 00:22:41,698 --> 00:22:42,949 Just count to three. 422 00:22:43,033 --> 00:22:46,411 Counting to 125 will give you ample time to think it over. 423 00:22:46,495 --> 00:22:47,788 This is wrong, Kick. 424 00:22:48,205 --> 00:22:49,790 Deep down, you know it, too. 425 00:22:49,873 --> 00:22:51,458 I don't give a shit. 426 00:22:52,209 --> 00:22:53,209 Arrest him. 427 00:22:54,753 --> 00:22:58,131 And don't try to run, Naird, or we'll shoot you in the back. 428 00:23:01,134 --> 00:23:03,136 Get me whoever is in charge up there. 429 00:23:03,220 --> 00:23:04,971 Her name is Captain Ali, sir. 430 00:23:05,472 --> 00:23:09,684 Captain Ali, you are hereby ordered to attack the Chinese base. 431 00:23:09,768 --> 00:23:10,768 Can't, sir. 432 00:23:10,811 --> 00:23:11,728 Guns are disabled. 433 00:23:11,812 --> 00:23:15,107 The barrels are now water pipes, and the springs are in the thermostats. 434 00:23:15,190 --> 00:23:17,901 Naird... that's treason. 435 00:23:17,984 --> 00:23:20,612 It's not treason to disobey an unlawful order. 436 00:23:21,279 --> 00:23:24,241 Well, there must be something else you can use as weapons. 437 00:23:24,324 --> 00:23:26,743 We have a crazy amount of wrenches. 438 00:23:26,827 --> 00:23:29,663 The big brainiac packed wrench after wrench. 439 00:23:29,746 --> 00:23:30,746 Go get 'em. 440 00:23:31,081 --> 00:23:32,207 Bigger the better. 441 00:23:32,791 --> 00:23:34,334 Sir, where is General Naird? 442 00:23:34,418 --> 00:23:36,002 I am in command now. 443 00:23:36,628 --> 00:23:38,505 It's wrenchin' time. 444 00:23:39,923 --> 00:23:43,093 It, um... It looks like we're actually doing this. 445 00:23:43,427 --> 00:23:45,429 Everybody suit up. 446 00:23:46,138 --> 00:23:47,138 Boots on the moon. 447 00:23:48,140 --> 00:23:49,558 Boots on the moon. 448 00:23:55,355 --> 00:23:56,355 Julio! 449 00:23:57,023 --> 00:23:59,109 - Spacesuit. - Oh. Yes. 450 00:24:40,650 --> 00:24:42,152 Oh, okay. 451 00:24:53,038 --> 00:24:55,038 Hey, Bug, it's not really a good time. 452 00:24:55,081 --> 00:24:58,627 Dad, Dad, I'm in the desert, west of town, with some sketchy dudes. 453 00:24:59,669 --> 00:25:02,297 Erin, it doesn't sound like you're making good choices. 454 00:25:02,380 --> 00:25:03,924 You have to make good choices. 455 00:25:04,007 --> 00:25:07,093 It wasn't. It was a terrible choice, but I need you to come get me, okay? 456 00:25:07,177 --> 00:25:09,221 You said I could always call you if I needed a ride. 457 00:25:09,304 --> 00:25:12,432 I know, I know I did. But I can't come right now. 458 00:25:12,516 --> 00:25:13,600 I've been arrested. 459 00:25:14,267 --> 00:25:15,977 What? No. Mom was arrested. 460 00:25:16,061 --> 00:25:17,312 Yeah, I'm aware of that. 461 00:25:17,395 --> 00:25:19,439 I'm... I have been, too. I'm sorry. 462 00:25:20,565 --> 00:25:21,565 Well, that's great! 463 00:25:21,608 --> 00:25:24,236 Both my parents are in jail, and I can't get a tattoo. Okay. 464 00:25:24,319 --> 00:25:25,319 Honey! Honey! 465 00:25:25,695 --> 00:25:26,695 God. 466 00:25:27,739 --> 00:25:28,739 Fu... 467 00:25:30,408 --> 00:25:31,326 All right. 468 00:25:35,580 --> 00:25:36,623 Yeah. 469 00:25:40,293 --> 00:25:42,170 Duncan, it's Erin. Can you come get me? 470 00:25:42,254 --> 00:25:44,422 No. I'm sitting next to your dad. 471 00:25:44,881 --> 00:25:46,049 I got arrested, too. 472 00:25:46,132 --> 00:25:46,967 Fuck! 473 00:26:14,703 --> 00:26:17,581 For the record, I am against this action. 474 00:26:17,664 --> 00:26:18,873 Someone's taking notes, right? 475 00:26:20,542 --> 00:26:22,252 This is all Kick's baby now. 476 00:26:26,131 --> 00:26:27,465 We can't let this happen. 477 00:26:27,549 --> 00:26:29,050 Fuck Tony, come with me. 478 00:26:31,678 --> 00:26:33,597 My name is Dr. Adrian Mallory. 479 00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:37,684 I am the former Chief Scientist of Space Force. 480 00:26:38,101 --> 00:26:41,521 And if the world does not stop this madness, 481 00:26:41,605 --> 00:26:44,441 I will set myself on fire! 482 00:26:44,524 --> 00:26:46,724 Yes, the entire world is listening. This is your moment. 483 00:26:46,818 --> 00:26:50,780 I'll give you one chance to change course! 484 00:26:50,864 --> 00:26:52,407 Don't do it. Don't do it. 485 00:26:52,490 --> 00:26:55,035 Don't you try and stop me, Brad! 486 00:26:55,118 --> 00:26:56,453 I am doing it! 487 00:26:56,953 --> 00:26:59,789 Okey-dokey. Well, you're a better man than I'll ever be. 488 00:26:59,873 --> 00:27:00,873 Wait. 489 00:27:01,249 --> 00:27:02,751 Don't... Goodbye! 490 00:27:04,169 --> 00:27:05,920 Okay, so what's in the can. Is it gasoline? 491 00:27:06,004 --> 00:27:07,339 Yes, this is gas. 492 00:27:07,422 --> 00:27:09,442 I guess the first step would be to sprinkle it on your pants. 493 00:27:09,466 --> 00:27:12,344 So I suppose I should do that now? 494 00:27:12,427 --> 00:27:13,427 Yeah. 495 00:27:15,805 --> 00:27:16,805 Oh, Jesus. 496 00:27:17,265 --> 00:27:19,059 If you need help, I can help you out. Here... 497 00:27:19,142 --> 00:27:22,020 Thank you, Fuck Tony, but you know what? 498 00:27:22,729 --> 00:27:27,442 I... I think I've proven what I wanted to prove. 499 00:27:27,859 --> 00:27:30,987 I mean, let's face it. At the end of the day, I think I'm done. 500 00:27:31,071 --> 00:27:33,198 - I'm good. - We're already here. We got the gasoline. 501 00:27:33,281 --> 00:27:36,368 No, I know, but it's... I'm good. It's fine. Thank you. 502 00:27:37,202 --> 00:27:38,036 Mom, I'm in trouble, 503 00:27:38,119 --> 00:27:40,679 and Dad and the only other guy I know who could help are useless. 504 00:27:41,039 --> 00:27:43,458 Well, don't tell me that when I can't do anything. 505 00:27:43,541 --> 00:27:44,751 Jesus, honey! 506 00:27:44,834 --> 00:27:46,169 Mommy, I'm scared. 507 00:27:48,213 --> 00:27:51,758 Erin, you're gonna have to handle this one on your own. 508 00:28:13,488 --> 00:28:14,488 Fuck. 509 00:28:43,977 --> 00:28:45,746 Do you have your lighter in your pocket? 510 00:28:45,770 --> 00:28:47,856 Or are you just glad to see me? 511 00:28:47,939 --> 00:28:48,939 What? 512 00:28:50,066 --> 00:28:51,067 I have it. 513 00:28:53,445 --> 00:28:54,696 Okay. Okay. 514 00:28:56,990 --> 00:28:57,990 Good. Good. Good. 515 00:29:02,996 --> 00:29:03,996 There you go. 516 00:29:05,540 --> 00:29:06,540 Okay. 517 00:29:07,333 --> 00:29:08,333 Okay. 518 00:29:23,725 --> 00:29:24,725 Fuck. 519 00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:45,120 Fuck! 520 00:30:13,608 --> 00:30:15,777 Jesus! Erin, no helmet? 521 00:30:15,860 --> 00:30:17,111 I know. Sorry. 522 00:30:17,195 --> 00:30:19,531 - So, who doesn't have your back? - Okay, yes. 523 00:30:19,614 --> 00:30:21,950 - You're my hero. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 524 00:30:35,088 --> 00:30:36,339 It looks deserted. 525 00:30:42,220 --> 00:30:43,220 Okay. 526 00:30:43,555 --> 00:30:44,597 Let's do this thing. 527 00:30:46,808 --> 00:30:50,186 Wait. Dad, do you see something down there in the gully? 528 00:30:53,231 --> 00:30:54,691 Oh, my God. 529 00:31:05,702 --> 00:31:07,328 - Maggie? - Whoo! 530 00:31:07,412 --> 00:31:08,621 - Mom! - Hi! 531 00:31:08,705 --> 00:31:09,831 I escaped! 532 00:31:09,914 --> 00:31:11,457 Just came to save you! 533 00:31:12,125 --> 00:31:13,126 Sweetie! 534 00:31:14,669 --> 00:31:16,129 Oh, you guys! 535 00:31:21,050 --> 00:31:22,886 - This is Louise. - Hi. 536 00:31:22,969 --> 00:31:24,512 She's been very helpful. 537 00:31:25,930 --> 00:31:27,056 This is great! 538 00:31:28,308 --> 00:31:29,475 We're all together. 539 00:31:30,977 --> 00:31:32,061 And Louise. 540 00:31:46,910 --> 00:31:51,164 Tell General Grabaston we've rendered the Chinese moon base inoperable. 541 00:31:51,247 --> 00:31:53,166 Destroyed the life-support systems, 542 00:31:53,249 --> 00:31:55,710 breached the capsule walls in all pods, 543 00:31:55,793 --> 00:31:58,254 and released the oxygen as ordered. 544 00:31:58,755 --> 00:32:00,882 We are returning with their extra stores 545 00:32:00,965 --> 00:32:05,178 and will prepare to receive the scientists as refugees at the US base. 546 00:32:07,931 --> 00:32:08,931 Oh, shit! 547 00:32:09,265 --> 00:32:10,265 Captain Ali? 548 00:32:29,702 --> 00:32:30,870 Now what do we do? 549 00:32:33,831 --> 00:32:35,511 You have one new message. 550 00:32:35,625 --> 00:32:37,877 Uh, sir, I noticed that you escaped, 551 00:32:37,961 --> 00:32:39,420 which is great. Congrats. 552 00:32:39,504 --> 00:32:41,607 I don't believe you're a traitor. 553 00:32:41,631 --> 00:32:44,384 No matter, you know, what they're saying. I don't wanna worry you, 554 00:32:44,467 --> 00:32:47,387 but the spacemen are just a little tiny bit fucked. 555 00:32:47,470 --> 00:32:50,306 So if you could maybe sneak back and give us a hand, 556 00:32:50,390 --> 00:32:51,390 you know, it'd be great. 557 00:32:51,432 --> 00:32:52,767 But, you know, of course, 558 00:32:52,850 --> 00:32:56,354 you'll probably be court-martialed if you come back, so tough choice. 559 00:32:56,437 --> 00:32:58,439 Ooh. I wouldn't wanna be in your shoes. 560 00:33:08,992 --> 00:33:12,120 ♪ Bang, bang, shoot 'em up, destiny ♪ 561 00:33:15,039 --> 00:33:18,918 ♪ Bang, bang, shoot 'em up to the moon ♪ 562 00:33:21,045 --> 00:33:24,132 ♪ Bang, bang, shoot 'em up One, two, three ♪ 563 00:33:24,215 --> 00:33:25,675 ♪ One, two, three, four ♪ 564 00:33:26,968 --> 00:33:32,140 ♪ I wanted to be a spaceman That's what I wanted to be ♪ 565 00:33:32,932 --> 00:33:38,062 ♪ But now that I am a spaceman Nobody cares about me ♪ 566 00:33:38,855 --> 00:33:41,691 ♪ Hey, Mother Earth Won't'cha bring me back down ♪ 567 00:33:41,774 --> 00:33:43,651 ♪ Safely to the sea? ♪ 568 00:33:44,527 --> 00:33:50,158 ♪ Around and around and around and around Is all she ever say to me ♪ 569 00:33:54,829 --> 00:34:00,585 ♪ I wanted to make a good run I wanted to go to the moon ♪ 570 00:34:00,835 --> 00:34:06,382 ♪ I knew that it had to be fun I told 'em to send me real soon ♪ 571 00:34:06,466 --> 00:34:11,971 ♪ I wanted to be a spaceman I wanted to be it so bad ♪ 572 00:34:12,597 --> 00:34:18,269 ♪ But now that I am a spaceman I'd rather be back on the pad ♪ 573 00:34:18,603 --> 00:34:21,439 ♪ Hey, Mother Earth Won't'cha bring me back down ♪ 574 00:34:21,522 --> 00:34:23,649 ♪ Safely to the sea? ♪ 575 00:34:24,275 --> 00:34:29,781 ♪ Around and around and around and around Is just a lot of lunacy ♪ 576 00:34:30,364 --> 00:34:31,908 ♪ Yeah ♪ 577 00:34:33,284 --> 00:34:34,744 ♪ Yeah ♪ 578 00:34:34,827 --> 00:34:38,164 ♪ 'Round and around and Around and around and around ♪ 579 00:34:38,289 --> 00:34:40,750 ♪ So bring me back down ♪ 580 00:34:40,833 --> 00:34:44,212 ♪ 'Round and around and Around and around and around ♪