1
00:00:21,062 --> 00:00:23,815
{\an8}That is the most horrifying thing
I have ever seen.
2
00:00:23,898 --> 00:00:25,650
It's desecrating a sacred object.
3
00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:28,570
Agreed. They just trampled over
the American Koran.
4
00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:31,489
Isn't that breaking a US law,
even on the moon?
5
00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:34,034
US law applies 200 miles from a US flag.
6
00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:35,702
Two hundred miles from the coastline.
7
00:00:35,785 --> 00:00:38,121
Now, is the moon 200 miles away?
8
00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:40,957
It is not,
and running over a flag is not illegal.
9
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,208
You're not a lawyer, Naird.
10
00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:43,418
I'm a corporate lawyer.
11
00:00:43,501 --> 00:00:46,087
They could argue that we abandoned
that flag when we left the moon.
12
00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:47,338
That would make it trash.
13
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:50,925
Take... that... back.
14
00:00:51,009 --> 00:00:52,343
I just meant legally.
15
00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:54,971
Obviously, it's not trash.
It's the soul of America.
16
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,515
We should run over one of their flags,
tit for tat.
17
00:00:57,599 --> 00:00:59,726
Where we gonna find a Chinese flag
on the moon?
18
00:01:00,268 --> 00:01:01,519
Make one out of our own?
19
00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:06,357
You don't rip up an American flag
to create a Chinese flag, you moron.
20
00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:07,817
We need to hit back hard.
21
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:08,735
We can bomb.
22
00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:10,403
Big bomb, little bomb.
23
00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:11,905
Smart bomb, stupid bomb.
24
00:01:11,988 --> 00:01:13,364
There's one for every occasion.
25
00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:14,991
A flag is a symbol.
26
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,494
You can't kill people
for insulting a symbol.
27
00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:19,037
If it were up to me, we'd invade.
28
00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:20,288
I'm talking some serious
29
00:01:20,371 --> 00:01:22,707
bull-in-a-China shop action.
30
00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:25,126
Let's knock down the Great Wall
they're so proud of.
31
00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:27,087
We got all these weapons.
We're never allowed to use them.
32
00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:28,046
Drives me crazy.
33
00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:30,757
Yeah, I talk to my therapist about this
all the time.
34
00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:32,383
Where are we at with nukes?
35
00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:33,927
No, no. We're not going to nuke China.
36
00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:36,304
Could we get back on track here
for a second?
37
00:01:36,387 --> 00:01:38,473
Does anyone have
a valid suggestion to make?
38
00:01:38,556 --> 00:01:40,809
We're just joking around, Grandma. Jeez!
39
00:01:40,892 --> 00:01:43,561
Yeah, just blowing off steam there.
Don't be such a pussy.
40
00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:45,814
Wait. What? No. No, no, no.
41
00:01:45,897 --> 00:01:50,151
We need to do one of these ideas,
at least. Maybe more, right? Come on!
42
00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:53,404
I mean, aren't you guys tired
of everybody using us like a doormat?
43
00:01:56,199 --> 00:02:00,453
Look, this happened in space,
so the response must be in space as well.
44
00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:03,456
- I have consulted a space attorney.
- What the fuck?
45
00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:06,376
- There's no such thing. You got scammed.
- Now who's the dope?
46
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:09,337
We signed
an international outer space treaty.
47
00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:11,923
Any sort of violence
and we break that treaty.
48
00:02:12,006 --> 00:02:13,758
We must retaliate. I will handle it.
49
00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:14,968
POTUS will be very happy.
50
00:02:15,051 --> 00:02:17,428
We will do something
significant and proportionate.
51
00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:20,765
I don't think POTUS will be happy
with a proportionate response.
52
00:02:21,599 --> 00:02:25,228
Well, then,
it'll be a little more than proportionate.
53
00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:27,939
I have taken it upon myself
to have a focus group
54
00:02:28,022 --> 00:02:31,484
in which we can determine
what would be an appropriate response.
55
00:02:31,901 --> 00:02:34,779
Ideally, what would you like to see happen
on the moon? Anybody.
56
00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:39,325
Research that benefits mankind.
57
00:02:39,784 --> 00:02:41,578
Yeah. Okay. What about you?
What about you?
58
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:45,165
Yeah, something that helps everyone
and justifies the cost.
59
00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:46,374
Yeah. Yeah.
60
00:02:46,457 --> 00:02:49,002
What would be an example of something bad
that could happen on the moon?
61
00:02:49,085 --> 00:02:50,503
Anybody wanna answer that?
62
00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:55,300
An accident where a person gets hurt.
63
00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:56,843
Yeah, that would be bad,
wouldn't it?
64
00:02:57,343 --> 00:02:59,762
Could you ever imagine
supporting a war on the moon?
65
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:00,763
No.
66
00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:02,599
That would be a terrible waste.
67
00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:03,600
Really?
68
00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:05,768
Do me a favor.
Watch this video real quick.
69
00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:11,482
That's America!
Keep watching. It's not over.
70
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:15,612
Beep, beep, beep. Crunch.
71
00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:19,073
Does nobody respect us? Keep looking.
72
00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:21,618
That is our country
they're rolling all over.
73
00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:24,495
Yeah, we have to do something about that.
74
00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:27,832
I mean, maybe not a war,
but we should definitely do something.
75
00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:29,876
I'm loving this. Okay, this is fantastic.
76
00:03:29,959 --> 00:03:32,795
Let's feel out this direction.
Let's keep it going. Okay, what else?
77
00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:35,089
It should be retaliation
on the same level.
78
00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:38,134
Like, it should be a prank.
It should be like... graffiti!
79
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,220
Graffiti? All right, keep going.
That's not bad.
80
00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:41,679
Um... ding-dong ditch.
81
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:45,266
Brown paper bag on fire,
but there's poop in it.
82
00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:49,437
- I don't know whose poop.
- Right, okay.
83
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:52,148
- TP their rocket!
- TP their rocket!
84
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,149
I love this.
85
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,108
That's what it takes,
86
00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:56,110
a 100-year-old white man
to make this work!
87
00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:59,030
Okay, let's pop it on the board.
Here we go!
88
00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:34,691
How can there be no hammers?
89
00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:36,442
We must have packed hammers.
90
00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:40,238
No. None of the big doctor brains
packed a hammer.
91
00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:43,783
There are wrenches.
Then use a wrench as a hammer.
92
00:04:43,866 --> 00:04:46,536
That's not how
you take care of your wrenches!
93
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,997
No toothbrushes or deodorant either,
94
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:52,166
but there are ten years' worth of tampons,
for some reason.
95
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:55,753
Wait.
Young man, what are you using as a shovel?
96
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,715
Sir, it's actually
Spaceman Obie Hanrahan, sir!
97
00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:00,800
And I'm using a metal moon scoop
98
00:05:00,883 --> 00:05:03,594
with an adjustable
crescent-shaped head, sir!
99
00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:05,805
That's a wrench, you dimwit.
100
00:05:05,888 --> 00:05:07,849
Hey, what's that hissing noise?
101
00:05:07,932 --> 00:05:09,017
Jesus...
102
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:12,562
you have to patch that up immediately,
or you'll all die.
103
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:15,106
The... The duct tape's in locker 1.
104
00:05:15,189 --> 00:05:18,943
Dr. Mallory, the Chinese Space Agency
just posted some video of their base.
105
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:23,031
- Wow.
- Put it on the big screen.
106
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:31,372
How many pillows do you need?
107
00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:33,291
It's already one-sixth gravity.
108
00:05:34,792 --> 00:05:36,169
How many did you serve like this?
109
00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:39,422
"How many did you serve like this?"
110
00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:40,965
Are you drunk right now?
111
00:05:43,259 --> 00:05:44,677
Fine. You're fired.
112
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,179
Should I tell your dad?
113
00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:48,222
You know, sure, dude.
114
00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:49,766
Tell him.
115
00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:52,602
He doesn't have a fucking leg to stand on.
116
00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:02,236
Okay, this is what I learned,
117
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,030
and I think you're gonna go crazy
for this.
118
00:06:04,113 --> 00:06:06,824
There are three cans of shaving cream
on that moon base,
119
00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:08,451
and there's two cans of hairspray.
120
00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:12,121
If we just switch those nozzles,
we can cause some serious mischief.
121
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:14,415
It's not enough. They trampled our flag.
122
00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:15,541
What else you got?
123
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:19,962
Okay, your eyebrows tested poorly
in men and women ages six to 45.
124
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,464
Why are you testing my eyebrows?
125
00:06:21,547 --> 00:06:22,423
It was unsolicited.
126
00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:24,050
People just want
to talk about your eyebrows.
127
00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:26,010
The joint chiefs are on the phone
in the conference room.
128
00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:27,136
They want an update.
129
00:06:29,305 --> 00:06:30,473
How's it going, General?
130
00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:31,808
Every news outlet on the planet
131
00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:35,019
is showing some Chinese rover
doing donuts on our most sacred...
132
00:06:35,561 --> 00:06:36,562
cloth.
133
00:06:37,021 --> 00:06:39,107
We need a quick military response.
134
00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:40,650
- Oorah!
- Hooah!
135
00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:41,567
- Hooyah!
- Hooyah!
136
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:43,236
Booyah!
137
00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:45,446
You have the go-ahead
to attack the Chinese base.
138
00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:46,489
How do you wanna do it?
139
00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:48,658
Our lead suggestion from the focus group
140
00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:50,743
would be to shaving-cream
the shit out of them.
141
00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:52,578
And if that's not enough,
142
00:06:53,037 --> 00:06:56,416
we also have the capability to TP as well.
143
00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:59,710
And possibly graffiti the side
of their base with "China sucks."
144
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:01,754
Sound good?
145
00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:04,006
- Oora...
- No! No, no, no.
146
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:06,509
We need to burn that Chinese base
to the ground.
147
00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:08,469
I thought that's why
you brought an arsonist!
148
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:13,307
Well, not really, obviously.
149
00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:15,685
Yes, really, obviously!
150
00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:19,021
This... This has been debated
in the policy circles
151
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,441
as high up in the administration
as you can think!
152
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:22,692
It's time to stand tough!
153
00:07:25,361 --> 00:07:27,864
Look, nobody wants to get back
at these commie bastards
154
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:29,407
more than I do, but...
155
00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:34,287
breaking a treaty with a reprisal attack
of unwarranted destruction,
156
00:07:34,370 --> 00:07:38,499
and putting noncombatant scientists
in harm's way...
157
00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:42,420
That's like three violations
of the Geneva Convention.
158
00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:43,838
Okay, look.
159
00:07:43,921 --> 00:07:45,715
I'm not a professional politician,
160
00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:48,718
but this European International Treaty,
come on!
161
00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:50,303
Don't get captured like a bunch of losers,
162
00:07:50,386 --> 00:07:52,513
and you don't have to worry about
how they treat you.
163
00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:56,184
How about we just continue to look for
some more creative solutions?
164
00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:58,436
Yeah, well,
I think destroying the base is lame,
165
00:07:58,519 --> 00:08:02,064
and it's a war crime,
which you should never ever do.
166
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:03,149
- All right, look!
- Okay.
167
00:08:03,232 --> 00:08:04,734
You have your orders, Naird!
168
00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:07,111
I need a complete outline and strategy
169
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:09,822
for this battle plan
to destroy this Chinese base,
170
00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:13,159
and I need it shock, I need awe,
and I need it in PDF,
171
00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:14,994
'cause my computer doesn't have Word.
172
00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:19,624
God.
173
00:08:22,543 --> 00:08:24,629
So that is the order from the top.
174
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,839
You can't do that.
175
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:30,635
These are scientists and astronauts.
176
00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:32,595
I have to. It's the chain of command.
177
00:08:32,678 --> 00:08:37,517
Mark, they just named the flat area
where we landed The Plains of Mallory.
178
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:40,561
That is so cool. Congrats.
179
00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:45,483
Thank you. But now, it could become
the site of the first moon atrocity.
180
00:08:45,566 --> 00:08:47,902
I don't want to read that in a textbook.
181
00:08:47,985 --> 00:08:49,487
Yeah, nobody wants that.
182
00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:52,490
I'm sure cooler heads will prevail.
183
00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:53,824
Just some saber-rattling.
184
00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:58,079
The next resupply
can't launch for a month, so...
185
00:08:58,829 --> 00:09:02,833
hopefully, they'll have the time
to cool off before the guns show up.
186
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:05,044
Yeah.
187
00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:19,976
Captain Ali,
I'd like you to look in locker 5.
188
00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:22,144
It says "spare oxygen."
189
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:23,145
Just open it.
190
00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:33,030
Okay, but we do have spare oxygen
somewhere, right?
191
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:36,450
What do you want us to do with these,
General?
192
00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:37,535
I'm not sure yet.
193
00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:40,413
Just, show everyone how to use them.
194
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,665
Make sure they're cleaned and loaded.
195
00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:44,625
Yes, sir.
196
00:09:45,876 --> 00:09:47,795
Loading and cleaning guns.
197
00:09:48,212 --> 00:09:52,883
Feels like no matter what I start doing,
I always end up loading and cleaning guns.
198
00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:55,803
I haven't been allowed
to touch one of these in forever.
199
00:09:55,886 --> 00:09:57,722
I just hope the general knows
what he's doing.
200
00:09:58,639 --> 00:10:00,141
What if the Chinese have guns?
201
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:03,060
No. They're a research center.
202
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:04,645
So are we.
203
00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:11,152
You already have guns on board?
204
00:10:11,235 --> 00:10:14,614
No toothbrushes, but room for guns?
205
00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:16,449
You lied to me, Naird!
206
00:10:16,532 --> 00:10:18,117
General Naird, Chief Scientist!
207
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,036
They were for self-defense.
208
00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:21,370
Sure they were!
209
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:24,999
Sometimes,
provocation requires a show of force!
210
00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:28,461
Neville Chamberlain didn't do that,
and Hitler invaded Poland!
211
00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:31,255
Not everything is World War II!
212
00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:33,507
Well, not everything is Vietnam!
213
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:36,093
I thought you were one of the good guys,
214
00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:38,554
with your John Wayne swagger.
215
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,514
But you're no John Wayne.
216
00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:42,516
You are Wayne John!
217
00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:45,728
- Who?
- Wayne John!
218
00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:46,979
Wayne John!
219
00:10:47,438 --> 00:10:48,939
I worked with him at IBM!
220
00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:50,900
He stole pencils!
221
00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:52,360
My pencils!
222
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:55,404
If you had any integrity at all,
you would quit!
223
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:58,658
The person in line behind me
will be even worse!
224
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:02,536
I know I'm not perfect,
but I know I'm not the worst.
225
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:05,956
Well, you take that up
with your next chief scientist.
226
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:07,875
- I quit!
- Adrian!
227
00:11:07,958 --> 00:11:08,876
Adrian!
228
00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:11,337
Adrian!
229
00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:14,298
Adrian! Adrian!
230
00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,717
Rocky! Rocky!
231
00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:17,802
Right?
232
00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:36,195
Hey, Captain Ali.
233
00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:42,535
Whoa. What up, stalker?
234
00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:45,705
Just sitting there all creepy,
staring at me.
235
00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:48,624
How long have you been watching me?
236
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:51,043
Do you watch me sleep, too?
237
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:53,295
Do you want me to be watching you?
238
00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:57,341
No. Gross. I was just messing around.
239
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,636
Well, that's not the story
your heart rate is telling.
240
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:04,557
I'm going into battle tomorrow.
241
00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:09,603
Anyway, um, I kind of thought
you were calling me
242
00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:12,314
with an "I just want you to know."
243
00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:13,482
A what?
244
00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:15,735
You know, an "I just want you to know."
245
00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:19,321
It's like when people are like,
"If we never see each other again,
246
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,115
I just want you to know,
247
00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:24,535
like, how I feel."
248
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:27,955
Um...
249
00:12:28,205 --> 00:12:30,958
You know that all communications
with the launch room
250
00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:33,461
are recorded for posterity, Captain?
251
00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:37,006
Okay. No. Copy that, Scientist.
252
00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:39,675
Yes, loud and clear, and never mind.
253
00:12:40,217 --> 00:12:41,844
Actually, Chief Scientist now.
254
00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:43,220
Dr. Mallory quit today.
255
00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:45,389
Wow. I mean...
256
00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:47,641
Congratulations, I guess.
257
00:12:47,725 --> 00:12:50,561
But I also can't help thinking
that means I'm fucked.
258
00:12:51,228 --> 00:12:52,855
No. You're a superhero.
259
00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:54,732
And the queen of TikTok.
260
00:12:55,524 --> 00:12:56,609
The what?
261
00:12:57,067 --> 00:12:58,736
It's good to be black on the moon.
262
00:12:58,819 --> 00:12:59,695
Goddamn it.
263
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,697
Okay.
264
00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:05,910
I cannot believe that's only like
the tenth weirdest thing about today.
265
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:08,704
Thanks for showing me.
266
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,832
Yeah. Well, I just wanted you to know.
267
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:13,626
That I'm a meme?
268
00:13:13,709 --> 00:13:16,712
Yeah! You know, in case, like,
we never see each other again,
269
00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:18,881
I just wanted you to know.
270
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,181
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
271
00:13:30,851 --> 00:13:32,770
Is there any, sauce?
272
00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:37,650
I forgot the sauce.
273
00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,318
That's no problem.
274
00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:42,738
Do you have any cheese or,
is there salad?
275
00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:48,244
Mark, you said you were a good cook.
276
00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:49,161
Yeah.
277
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,622
I'm so sorry. I'm not gonna eat this.
278
00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:53,916
I'm not two years old.
279
00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:55,000
I apologize.
280
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:56,502
My focus is off.
281
00:13:56,585 --> 00:13:58,921
- What's up?
- Adrian Mallory quit today.
282
00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:01,799
Why? Did you make him dinner?
283
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:07,012
He didn't like something
that the military was doing.
284
00:14:07,429 --> 00:14:09,807
Well,
he sounds like a spoiled little shit.
285
00:14:10,307 --> 00:14:12,476
Sometimes he is, but not this time.
286
00:14:13,477 --> 00:14:16,355
Well, will he come back
if you stop doing what you're doing?
287
00:14:16,772 --> 00:14:18,941
I can't. It was an order.
288
00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:22,528
No, what are you doing?
289
00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:25,656
Mark, what are you...
No. Stop it. I cannot let you eat that.
290
00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:26,574
It's barely cooked.
291
00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:27,741
It's crunchy.
292
00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:28,951
God. Here.
293
00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:31,745
No, no, no. No, no.
294
00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:38,043
I may be called upon to make a decision
that I have to be completely sober for.
295
00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:41,213
It's not about sex, is it?
Cause I don't mind if you're tipsy.
296
00:14:45,384 --> 00:14:48,762
I have to be prepared
to order soldiers into battle.
297
00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:51,473
Can't really talk about it.
298
00:14:56,687 --> 00:14:57,980
I don't know what to do.
299
00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:05,696
When you asked me out,
300
00:15:06,530 --> 00:15:08,699
you knew you had to tell me
about your wife.
301
00:15:09,199 --> 00:15:11,327
Even though it would probably ruin things.
302
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:14,622
You literally couldn't do the wrong thing.
303
00:15:15,789 --> 00:15:17,249
So I'm not worried about you.
304
00:15:19,209 --> 00:15:21,754
What if I don't know
what the right thing to do is?
305
00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:26,508
But you do.
306
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:28,177
Don't you?
307
00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:39,355
Help me defy an order.
308
00:15:43,984 --> 00:15:45,027
Ooh.
309
00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:48,656
That is where I shine.
310
00:15:49,281 --> 00:15:52,534
I've been defying authority
since I was 13.
311
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:57,873
And now I'm gonna teach you
312
00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:00,918
to use the most subversive weapon
known to man:
313
00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:02,127
passive-aggression.
314
00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:03,504
God, I hate that.
315
00:16:03,587 --> 00:16:04,463
Yeah, of course,
316
00:16:04,546 --> 00:16:08,217
because you're a straight white male,
you always had other weapons.
317
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:12,096
But the rest of us,
we have to be subtle in our disobedience,
318
00:16:12,179 --> 00:16:13,305
or we risk punishment.
319
00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:15,724
So interesting.
Go on. I'm so interested.
320
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:18,519
No, see, that's sarcasm. That's different.
321
00:16:18,852 --> 00:16:20,771
Imagine in this situation,
322
00:16:20,854 --> 00:16:24,233
you could say that
you're following through with the order,
323
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:25,985
but then you forget to,
324
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:28,862
or you can interpret
that order creatively.
325
00:16:28,946 --> 00:16:31,615
"Destroy the bathroom"
could mean a number of things
326
00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:35,202
and, if all else fails,
you can feign incompetent,
327
00:16:35,285 --> 00:16:36,578
which shouldn't be a problem.
328
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:38,539
Well, that explains Brad, doesn't it?
329
00:16:38,622 --> 00:16:39,915
Not entirely.
330
00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:47,840
- What are we to do?
- I'll handle it!
331
00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:48,924
He'll handle it.
332
00:16:49,883 --> 00:16:52,970
Mr. Secretary, I just want to let you know
before we begin,
333
00:16:53,053 --> 00:16:55,723
that I am running low on cell battery,
so I may lose you.
334
00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:57,850
Here's the situation as it stands.
335
00:16:58,684 --> 00:16:59,560
Well done, sir.
336
00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:01,895
Nobody answer the phone
for the next two hours.
337
00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:02,938
Yes, sir.
338
00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:10,112
My God. My God!
339
00:17:10,487 --> 00:17:12,906
Shit! Shit.
340
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:21,957
Got a smoke?
341
00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:26,670
Can't buy your own?
342
00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:28,172
I can.
343
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,507
Just don't feel like it.
344
00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:38,140
Tell you what.
345
00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:40,392
I'll give it to you in my truck.
346
00:17:46,106 --> 00:17:47,816
Come on. We're going to a party.
347
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:54,615
Fuck it.
348
00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:20,682
I've got it.
349
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:24,436
Beijing is hosting
the Winter Olympics 2022.
350
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:25,437
We boycott.
351
00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:26,814
Then they win even more medals.
352
00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:29,775
No, China's surprisingly awful
at Winter Olympic sports.
353
00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:31,777
But boy-boy, Norway would be happy.
354
00:18:31,860 --> 00:18:33,821
Okay, say you are a criminal.
355
00:18:34,321 --> 00:18:36,615
What would be meaner
than TP-ing somebody's house,
356
00:18:36,698 --> 00:18:39,660
but not as aggressive
as home invasion-slash-murder?
357
00:18:39,743 --> 00:18:42,412
Tying the family up and letting them think
they're gonna be murdered.
358
00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:44,748
Then they live
with the fear and horror forever.
359
00:18:45,749 --> 00:18:48,544
Jesus, Brad.
No wonder my dogs are scared of you.
360
00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:52,422
Excuse me, General, sir.
361
00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:54,800
The Sec Def is on
in the conference room for you.
362
00:18:56,009 --> 00:18:56,969
Balls!
363
00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:59,346
All right, tell him I'll be right there.
364
00:18:59,429 --> 00:19:00,472
Put him on hold.
365
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,559
- What are you gonna say?
- I'm not gonna say anything.
366
00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:06,145
I'm gonna go eat egg salad sandwiches
until I puke.
367
00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:21,743
Hey. Hey!
368
00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:24,580
Hey, I think, um, you can just let me out,
like, right here.
369
00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:26,540
That's... That's totally fine.
370
00:19:28,917 --> 00:19:30,419
Hey. You guys.
371
00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:33,046
Hey! Let me out here, okay?
372
00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:36,008
Excuse me!
373
00:19:36,758 --> 00:19:38,552
Can you please let me out?
374
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,597
Fucking kidding me!
375
00:19:45,809 --> 00:19:48,562
What the hell?
Did you guys not hear me yelling?
376
00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:10,334
They're stonewalling us.
377
00:20:10,417 --> 00:20:12,294
Where... Where... Where's Grabaston?
378
00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:14,046
In the air
and ready to swoop in!
379
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:17,716
Big Eagle is ready to replace
the Dodo Bird!
380
00:20:17,799 --> 00:20:19,843
I like what you said up there.
381
00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:21,803
I wish I was black on the moon.
382
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:23,555
Thank you, sir.
383
00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:27,434
Captain, when we first met,
you disobeyed an order.
384
00:20:29,144 --> 00:20:30,896
Yeah, I remember it well, sir.
385
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,357
Today, I'm thinking about doing the same.
386
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:37,027
This is being recorded, General.
387
00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:45,410
The generation that won World War II
was exposed to so much awful reality
388
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:50,332
that they made mostly good decisions
for a long time after.
389
00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:56,171
Forget history, and you are doomed
to repeat the mistakes of the past.
390
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:58,715
Forget how bad polio was,
391
00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:00,968
people stop taking vaccines.
392
00:21:02,302 --> 00:21:04,263
Forget how bad world wars are,
393
00:21:04,346 --> 00:21:06,390
people start puffing out their chests.
394
00:21:08,016 --> 00:21:09,851
The real enemy is arrogance.
395
00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:18,193
Angela, I think there are springs
and bolts and such
396
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:20,404
in those Manchester Arms devices
397
00:21:20,487 --> 00:21:22,948
that would be better used
to build your habitat.
398
00:21:23,031 --> 00:21:26,702
I'd like you to disassemble them
and let Eddie use the parts.
399
00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:29,997
You're telling me to...
400
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,708
...to take the guns apart,
which would disable them, General.
401
00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:33,834
That is correct.
402
00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:38,171
Thin ice, General.
403
00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:40,257
Thin ice.
404
00:21:58,734 --> 00:21:59,693
ID?
405
00:22:01,611 --> 00:22:02,779
Step aside, Gomer.
406
00:22:03,655 --> 00:22:07,784
Sir, I need to see some Space Force ID
to let anyone inside.
407
00:22:08,201 --> 00:22:10,120
Here is my Space Force ID.
408
00:22:17,377 --> 00:22:19,588
And a second ID with a photo.
409
00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:23,258
A passport, Costco card.
410
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:25,260
If you have to run on home...
411
00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:26,803
For fuck's sakes, restrain him.
412
00:22:26,887 --> 00:22:27,763
Gladly.
413
00:22:36,063 --> 00:22:37,230
General Naird!
414
00:22:37,981 --> 00:22:42,402
You were ordered to order an attack,
and I am ordering you to obey that order.
415
00:22:42,486 --> 00:22:44,029
I'm not your waitress, Kick.
416
00:22:44,112 --> 00:22:46,615
I'm going to count to 125.
417
00:22:46,698 --> 00:22:47,949
Just count to three.
418
00:22:48,033 --> 00:22:51,411
Counting to 125 will give you ample time
to think it over.
419
00:22:51,495 --> 00:22:52,788
This is wrong, Kick.
420
00:22:53,205 --> 00:22:54,790
Deep down, you know it, too.
421
00:22:54,873 --> 00:22:56,458
I don't give a shit.
422
00:22:57,209 --> 00:22:58,085
Arrest him.
423
00:22:59,753 --> 00:23:03,131
And don't try to run, Naird,
or we'll shoot you in the back.
424
00:23:06,134 --> 00:23:08,136
Get me whoever is in charge up there.
425
00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:09,971
Her name is Captain Ali, sir.
426
00:23:10,472 --> 00:23:14,684
Captain Ali, you are hereby ordered
to attack the Chinese base.
427
00:23:14,768 --> 00:23:15,727
Can't, sir.
428
00:23:15,811 --> 00:23:16,728
Guns are disabled.
429
00:23:16,812 --> 00:23:20,107
The barrels are now water pipes,
and the springs are in the thermostats.
430
00:23:20,190 --> 00:23:22,901
Naird... that's treason.
431
00:23:22,984 --> 00:23:25,612
It's not treason
to disobey an unlawful order.
432
00:23:26,279 --> 00:23:29,241
Well, there must be something else
you can use as weapons.
433
00:23:29,324 --> 00:23:31,743
We have a crazy amount of wrenches.
434
00:23:31,827 --> 00:23:34,663
The big brainiac
packed wrench after wrench.
435
00:23:34,746 --> 00:23:35,705
Go get 'em.
436
00:23:36,081 --> 00:23:37,207
Bigger the better.
437
00:23:37,791 --> 00:23:39,334
Sir, where is General Naird?
438
00:23:39,418 --> 00:23:41,002
I am in command now.
439
00:23:41,628 --> 00:23:43,505
It's wrenchin' time.
440
00:23:44,923 --> 00:23:48,093
It, um... It looks like
we're actually doing this.
441
00:23:48,427 --> 00:23:50,429
Everybody suit up.
442
00:23:51,138 --> 00:23:52,055
Boots on the moon.
443
00:23:53,140 --> 00:23:54,558
Boots on the moon.
444
00:24:00,355 --> 00:24:01,189
Julio!
445
00:24:02,023 --> 00:24:04,109
- Spacesuit.
- Yes.
446
00:24:45,650 --> 00:24:47,152
Okay.
447
00:24:58,038 --> 00:24:59,998
Hey, Bug, it's not really a good time.
448
00:25:00,081 --> 00:25:03,627
Dad, Dad, I'm in the desert, west of town,
with some sketchy dudes.
449
00:25:04,669 --> 00:25:07,297
Erin, it doesn't sound like
you're making good choices.
450
00:25:07,380 --> 00:25:08,924
You have to make good choices.
451
00:25:09,007 --> 00:25:12,093
It wasn't. It was a terrible choice,
but I need you to come get me, okay?
452
00:25:12,177 --> 00:25:14,221
You said I could always call you
if I needed a ride.
453
00:25:14,304 --> 00:25:17,432
I know, I know I did.
But I can't come right now.
454
00:25:17,516 --> 00:25:18,600
I've been arrested.
455
00:25:19,267 --> 00:25:20,977
What? No. Mom was arrested.
456
00:25:21,061 --> 00:25:22,312
Yeah, I'm aware of that.
457
00:25:22,395 --> 00:25:24,439
I'm... I have been, too. I'm sorry.
458
00:25:25,565 --> 00:25:26,525
Well, that's great!
459
00:25:26,608 --> 00:25:29,236
Both my parents are in jail,
and I can't get a tattoo. Okay.
460
00:25:29,319 --> 00:25:30,278
Honey! Honey!
461
00:25:30,695 --> 00:25:31,571
God.
462
00:25:32,739 --> 00:25:33,657
Fu...
463
00:25:35,408 --> 00:25:36,326
All right.
464
00:25:40,580 --> 00:25:41,623
Yeah.
465
00:25:45,293 --> 00:25:47,170
Duncan, it's Erin.
Can you come get me?
466
00:25:47,254 --> 00:25:49,422
No. I'm sitting next to your dad.
467
00:25:49,881 --> 00:25:51,049
I got arrested, too.
468
00:25:51,132 --> 00:25:51,967
Fuck!
469
00:26:19,703 --> 00:26:22,581
For the record, I am against this action.
470
00:26:22,664 --> 00:26:23,873
Someone's taking notes, right?
471
00:26:25,542 --> 00:26:27,252
This is all Kick's baby now.
472
00:26:31,131 --> 00:26:32,465
We can't let this happen.
473
00:26:32,549 --> 00:26:34,050
Fuck Tony, come with me.
474
00:26:36,678 --> 00:26:38,597
My name is Dr. Adrian Mallory.
475
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:42,684
I am the former Chief Scientist
of Space Force.
476
00:26:43,101 --> 00:26:46,521
And if the world
does not stop this madness,
477
00:26:46,605 --> 00:26:49,441
I will set myself on fire!
478
00:26:49,524 --> 00:26:51,359
Yes, the entire world is listening.
This is your moment.
479
00:26:51,818 --> 00:26:55,780
I'll give you one chance to change course!
480
00:26:55,864 --> 00:26:57,407
Don't do it. Don't do it.
481
00:26:57,490 --> 00:27:00,035
Don't you try and stop me, Brad!
482
00:27:00,118 --> 00:27:01,453
I am doing it!
483
00:27:01,953 --> 00:27:04,789
Okey-dokey. Well, you're a better man
than I'll ever be.
484
00:27:04,873 --> 00:27:05,707
Wait.
485
00:27:06,249 --> 00:27:07,751
Don't... Goodbye!
486
00:27:09,169 --> 00:27:10,920
Okay, so what's in the can.
Is it gasoline?
487
00:27:11,004 --> 00:27:12,339
Yes, this is gas.
488
00:27:12,422 --> 00:27:14,382
I guess the first step would be
to sprinkle it on your pants.
489
00:27:14,466 --> 00:27:17,344
So I suppose I should do that now?
490
00:27:17,427 --> 00:27:18,261
Yeah.
491
00:27:20,805 --> 00:27:21,765
Jesus.
492
00:27:22,265 --> 00:27:24,059
If you need help,
I can help you out. Here...
493
00:27:24,142 --> 00:27:27,020
Thank you, Fuck Tony, but you know what?
494
00:27:27,729 --> 00:27:32,442
I... I think I've proven
what I wanted to prove.
495
00:27:32,859 --> 00:27:35,987
I mean, let's face it.
At the end of the day, I think I'm done.
496
00:27:36,071 --> 00:27:38,198
- I'm good.
- We're already here. We got the gasoline.
497
00:27:38,281 --> 00:27:41,368
No, I know, but it's...
I'm good. It's fine. Thank you.
498
00:27:42,202 --> 00:27:43,036
Mom, I'm in trouble,
499
00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:45,622
and Dad and the only other guy I know
who could help are useless.
500
00:27:46,039 --> 00:27:48,458
Well, don't tell me that
when I can't do anything.
501
00:27:48,541 --> 00:27:49,751
Jesus, honey!
502
00:27:49,834 --> 00:27:51,169
Mommy, I'm scared.
503
00:27:53,213 --> 00:27:56,758
Erin, you're gonna have to handle this one
on your own.
504
00:28:18,488 --> 00:28:19,364
Fuck.
505
00:28:48,977 --> 00:28:50,687
Do you have your lighter in your pocket?
506
00:28:50,770 --> 00:28:52,856
Or are you just glad to see me?
507
00:28:52,939 --> 00:28:53,857
What?
508
00:28:55,066 --> 00:28:56,067
I have it.
509
00:28:58,445 --> 00:28:59,696
Okay. Okay.
510
00:29:01,990 --> 00:29:02,949
Good. Good. Good.
511
00:29:07,996 --> 00:29:08,872
There you go.
512
00:29:10,540 --> 00:29:11,416
Okay.
513
00:29:12,333 --> 00:29:13,168
Okay.
514
00:29:28,725 --> 00:29:29,601
Fuck.
515
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:49,954
Fuck!
516
00:30:18,608 --> 00:30:20,777
Jesus! Erin, no helmet?
517
00:30:20,860 --> 00:30:22,111
I know. Sorry.
518
00:30:22,195 --> 00:30:24,531
- So, who doesn't have your back?
- Okay, yes.
519
00:30:24,614 --> 00:30:26,950
- You're my hero.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
520
00:30:40,088 --> 00:30:41,339
It looks deserted.
521
00:30:47,220 --> 00:30:48,054
Okay.
522
00:30:48,555 --> 00:30:49,597
Let's do this thing.
523
00:30:51,808 --> 00:30:55,186
Wait. Dad, do you see something down there
in the gully?
524
00:30:58,231 --> 00:30:59,691
My God.
525
00:31:10,702 --> 00:31:12,328
- Maggie?
- Whoo!
526
00:31:12,412 --> 00:31:13,621
- Mom!
- Hi!
527
00:31:13,705 --> 00:31:14,831
I escaped!
528
00:31:14,914 --> 00:31:16,457
Just came to save you!
529
00:31:17,125 --> 00:31:18,126
Sweetie!
530
00:31:19,669 --> 00:31:21,129
You guys!
531
00:31:26,050 --> 00:31:27,886
- This is Louise.
- Hi.
532
00:31:27,969 --> 00:31:29,512
She's been very helpful.
533
00:31:30,930 --> 00:31:32,056
This is great!
534
00:31:33,308 --> 00:31:34,475
We're all together.
535
00:31:35,977 --> 00:31:37,061
And Louise.
536
00:31:51,910 --> 00:31:56,164
Tell General Grabaston we've rendered
the Chinese moon base inoperable.
537
00:31:56,247 --> 00:31:58,166
Destroyed the life-support systems,
538
00:31:58,249 --> 00:32:00,710
breached the capsule walls in all pods,
539
00:32:00,793 --> 00:32:03,254
and released the oxygen as ordered.
540
00:32:03,755 --> 00:32:05,882
We are returning with their extra stores
541
00:32:05,965 --> 00:32:10,178
and will prepare to receive the scientists
as refugees at the US base.
542
00:32:12,931 --> 00:32:13,890
Shit!
543
00:32:14,265 --> 00:32:15,099
Captain Ali?
544
00:32:34,702 --> 00:32:35,870
Now what do we do?
545
00:32:38,831 --> 00:32:40,500
You have one new message.
546
00:32:40,625 --> 00:32:42,877
Sir,
I noticed that you escaped,
547
00:32:42,961 --> 00:32:44,420
which is great. Congrats.
548
00:32:44,504 --> 00:32:46,547
I don't believe you're a traitor.
549
00:32:46,631 --> 00:32:49,384
No matter, you know, what they're saying.
I don't wanna worry you,
550
00:32:49,467 --> 00:32:52,387
but the spacemen
are just a little tiny bit fucked.
551
00:32:52,470 --> 00:32:55,306
So if you could maybe sneak back
and give us a hand,
552
00:32:55,390 --> 00:32:56,349
you know, it'd be great.
553
00:32:56,432 --> 00:32:57,767
But, you know, of course,
554
00:32:57,850 --> 00:33:01,354
you'll probably be court-martialed
if you come back, so tough choice.
555
00:33:01,437 --> 00:33:03,439
Ooh. I wouldn't wanna be in your shoes.