1 00:00:21,062 --> 00:00:23,815 {\an8}That is the most horrifying thing I have ever seen. 2 00:00:23,898 --> 00:00:25,650 It's desecrating a sacred object. 3 00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:28,570 Agreed. They just trampled over the American Koran. 4 00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:31,489 Isn't that breaking a US law, even on the moon? 5 00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:34,034 US law applies 200 miles from a US flag. 6 00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:35,702 Two hundred miles from the coastline. 7 00:00:35,785 --> 00:00:38,121 Now, is the moon 200 miles away? 8 00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:40,957 It is not, and running over a flag is not illegal. 9 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,208 You're not a lawyer, Naird. 10 00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:43,418 I'm a corporate lawyer. 11 00:00:43,501 --> 00:00:46,087 They could argue that we abandoned that flag when we left the moon. 12 00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:47,338 That would make it trash. 13 00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:50,925 Take... that... back. 14 00:00:51,009 --> 00:00:52,343 I just meant legally. 15 00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:54,971 Obviously, it's not trash. It's the soul of America. 16 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,515 We should run over one of their flags, tit for tat. 17 00:00:57,599 --> 00:00:59,726 Where we gonna find a Chinese flag on the moon? 18 00:01:00,268 --> 00:01:01,519 Make one out of our own? 19 00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:06,357 You don't rip up an American flag to create a Chinese flag, you moron. 20 00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:07,817 We need to hit back hard. 21 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:08,735 We can bomb. 22 00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:10,403 Big bomb, little bomb. 23 00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:11,905 Smart bomb, stupid bomb. 24 00:01:11,988 --> 00:01:13,364 There's one for every occasion. 25 00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:14,991 A flag is a symbol. 26 00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,494 You can't kill people for insulting a symbol. 27 00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:19,037 If it were up to me, we'd invade. 28 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:20,288 I'm talking some serious 29 00:01:20,371 --> 00:01:22,707 bull-in-a-China shop action. 30 00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:25,126 Let's knock down the Great Wall they're so proud of. 31 00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:27,087 We got all these weapons. We're never allowed to use them. 32 00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:28,046 Drives me crazy. 33 00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:30,757 Yeah, I talk to my therapist about this all the time. 34 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:32,383 Where are we at with nukes? 35 00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:33,927 No, no. We're not going to nuke China. 36 00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:36,304 Could we get back on track here for a second? 37 00:01:36,387 --> 00:01:38,473 Does anyone have a valid suggestion to make? 38 00:01:38,556 --> 00:01:40,809 We're just joking around, Grandma. Jeez! 39 00:01:40,892 --> 00:01:43,561 Yeah, just blowing off steam there. Don't be such a pussy. 40 00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:45,814 Wait. What? No. No, no, no. 41 00:01:45,897 --> 00:01:50,151 We need to do one of these ideas, at least. Maybe more, right? Come on! 42 00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:53,404 I mean, aren't you guys tired of everybody using us like a doormat? 43 00:01:56,199 --> 00:02:00,453 Look, this happened in space, so the response must be in space as well. 44 00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:03,456 - I have consulted a space attorney. - What the fuck? 45 00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:06,376 - There's no such thing. You got scammed. - Now who's the dope? 46 00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:09,337 We signed an international outer space treaty. 47 00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:11,923 Any sort of violence and we break that treaty. 48 00:02:12,006 --> 00:02:13,758 We must retaliate. I will handle it. 49 00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:14,968 POTUS will be very happy. 50 00:02:15,051 --> 00:02:17,428 We will do something significant and proportionate. 51 00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:20,765 I don't think POTUS will be happy with a proportionate response. 52 00:02:21,599 --> 00:02:25,228 Well, then, it'll be a little more than proportionate. 53 00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:27,939 I have taken it upon myself to have a focus group 54 00:02:28,022 --> 00:02:31,484 in which we can determine what would be an appropriate response. 55 00:02:31,901 --> 00:02:34,779 Ideally, what would you like to see happen on the moon? Anybody. 56 00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:39,325 Research that benefits mankind. 57 00:02:39,784 --> 00:02:41,578 Yeah. Okay. What about you? What about you? 58 00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:45,165 Yeah, something that helps everyone and justifies the cost. 59 00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:46,374 Yeah. Yeah. 60 00:02:46,457 --> 00:02:49,002 What would be an example of something bad that could happen on the moon? 61 00:02:49,085 --> 00:02:50,503 Anybody wanna answer that? 62 00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:55,300 An accident where a person gets hurt. 63 00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:56,843 Yeah, that would be bad, wouldn't it? 64 00:02:57,343 --> 00:02:59,762 Could you ever imagine supporting a war on the moon? 65 00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:00,763 No. 66 00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:02,599 That would be a terrible waste. 67 00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:03,600 Really? 68 00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:05,768 Do me a favor. Watch this video real quick. 69 00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:11,482 That's America! Keep watching. It's not over. 70 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:15,612 Beep, beep, beep. Crunch. 71 00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:19,073 Does nobody respect us? Keep looking. 72 00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:21,618 That is our country they're rolling all over. 73 00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:24,495 Yeah, we have to do something about that. 74 00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:27,832 I mean, maybe not a war, but we should definitely do something. 75 00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:29,876 I'm loving this. Okay, this is fantastic. 76 00:03:29,959 --> 00:03:32,795 Let's feel out this direction. Let's keep it going. Okay, what else? 77 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:35,089 It should be retaliation on the same level. 78 00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:38,134 Like, it should be a prank. It should be like... graffiti! 79 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,220 Graffiti? All right, keep going. That's not bad. 80 00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:41,679 Um... ding-dong ditch. 81 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:45,266 Brown paper bag on fire, but there's poop in it. 82 00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:49,437 - I don't know whose poop. - Right, okay. 83 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:52,148 - TP their rocket! - TP their rocket! 84 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,149 I love this. 85 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,108 That's what it takes, 86 00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:56,110 a 100-year-old white man to make this work! 87 00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:59,030 Okay, let's pop it on the board. Here we go! 88 00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:34,691 How can there be no hammers? 89 00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:36,442 We must have packed hammers. 90 00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:40,238 No. None of the big doctor brains packed a hammer. 91 00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:43,783 There are wrenches. Then use a wrench as a hammer. 92 00:04:43,866 --> 00:04:46,536 That's not how you take care of your wrenches! 93 00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,997 No toothbrushes or deodorant either, 94 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:52,166 but there are ten years' worth of tampons, for some reason. 95 00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:55,753 Wait. Young man, what are you using as a shovel? 96 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,715 Sir, it's actually Spaceman Obie Hanrahan, sir! 97 00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:00,800 And I'm using a metal moon scoop 98 00:05:00,883 --> 00:05:03,594 with an adjustable crescent-shaped head, sir! 99 00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:05,805 That's a wrench, you dimwit. 100 00:05:05,888 --> 00:05:07,849 Hey, what's that hissing noise? 101 00:05:07,932 --> 00:05:09,017 Jesus... 102 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:12,562 you have to patch that up immediately, or you'll all die. 103 00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:15,106 The... The duct tape's in locker 1. 104 00:05:15,189 --> 00:05:18,943 Dr. Mallory, the Chinese Space Agency just posted some video of their base. 105 00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:23,031 - Wow. - Put it on the big screen. 106 00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:31,372 How many pillows do you need? 107 00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:33,291 It's already one-sixth gravity. 108 00:05:34,792 --> 00:05:36,169 How many did you serve like this? 109 00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:39,422 "How many did you serve like this?" 110 00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:40,965 Are you drunk right now? 111 00:05:43,259 --> 00:05:44,677 Fine. You're fired. 112 00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,179 Should I tell your dad? 113 00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:48,222 You know, sure, dude. 114 00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:49,766 Tell him. 115 00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:52,602 He doesn't have a fucking leg to stand on. 116 00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:02,236 Okay, this is what I learned, 117 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,030 and I think you're gonna go crazy for this. 118 00:06:04,113 --> 00:06:06,824 There are three cans of shaving cream on that moon base, 119 00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:08,451 and there's two cans of hairspray. 120 00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:12,121 If we just switch those nozzles, we can cause some serious mischief. 121 00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:14,415 It's not enough. They trampled our flag. 122 00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:15,541 What else you got? 123 00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:19,962 Okay, your eyebrows tested poorly in men and women ages six to 45. 124 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,464 Why are you testing my eyebrows? 125 00:06:21,547 --> 00:06:22,423 It was unsolicited. 126 00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:24,050 People just want to talk about your eyebrows. 127 00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:26,010 The joint chiefs are on the phone in the conference room. 128 00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:27,136 They want an update. 129 00:06:29,305 --> 00:06:30,473 How's it going, General? 130 00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:31,808 Every news outlet on the planet 131 00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:35,019 is showing some Chinese rover doing donuts on our most sacred... 132 00:06:35,561 --> 00:06:36,562 cloth. 133 00:06:37,021 --> 00:06:39,107 We need a quick military response. 134 00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:40,650 - Oorah! - Hooah! 135 00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:41,567 - Hooyah! - Hooyah! 136 00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:43,236 Booyah! 137 00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:45,446 You have the go-ahead to attack the Chinese base. 138 00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:46,489 How do you wanna do it? 139 00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:48,658 Our lead suggestion from the focus group 140 00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:50,743 would be to shaving-cream the shit out of them. 141 00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:52,578 And if that's not enough, 142 00:06:53,037 --> 00:06:56,416 we also have the capability to TP as well. 143 00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:59,710 And possibly graffiti the side of their base with "China sucks." 144 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:01,754 Sound good? 145 00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:04,006 - Oora... - No! No, no, no. 146 00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:06,509 We need to burn that Chinese base to the ground. 147 00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:08,469 I thought that's why you brought an arsonist! 148 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:13,307 Well, not really, obviously. 149 00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:15,685 Yes, really, obviously! 150 00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:19,021 This... This has been debated in the policy circles 151 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,441 as high up in the administration as you can think! 152 00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:22,692 It's time to stand tough! 153 00:07:25,361 --> 00:07:27,864 Look, nobody wants to get back at these commie bastards 154 00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:29,407 more than I do, but... 155 00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:34,287 breaking a treaty with a reprisal attack of unwarranted destruction, 156 00:07:34,370 --> 00:07:38,499 and putting noncombatant scientists in harm's way... 157 00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:42,420 That's like three violations of the Geneva Convention. 158 00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:43,838 Okay, look. 159 00:07:43,921 --> 00:07:45,715 I'm not a professional politician, 160 00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:48,718 but this European International Treaty, come on! 161 00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:50,303 Don't get captured like a bunch of losers, 162 00:07:50,386 --> 00:07:52,513 and you don't have to worry about how they treat you. 163 00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:56,184 How about we just continue to look for some more creative solutions? 164 00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:58,436 Yeah, well, I think destroying the base is lame, 165 00:07:58,519 --> 00:08:02,064 and it's a war crime, which you should never ever do. 166 00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:03,149 - All right, look! - Okay. 167 00:08:03,232 --> 00:08:04,734 You have your orders, Naird! 168 00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:07,111 I need a complete outline and strategy 169 00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:09,822 for this battle plan to destroy this Chinese base, 170 00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:13,159 and I need it shock, I need awe, and I need it in PDF, 171 00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:14,994 'cause my computer doesn't have Word. 172 00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:19,624 God. 173 00:08:22,543 --> 00:08:24,629 So that is the order from the top. 174 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,839 You can't do that. 175 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:30,635 These are scientists and astronauts. 176 00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:32,595 I have to. It's the chain of command. 177 00:08:32,678 --> 00:08:37,517 Mark, they just named the flat area where we landed The Plains of Mallory. 178 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:40,561 That is so cool. Congrats. 179 00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:45,483 Thank you. But now, it could become the site of the first moon atrocity. 180 00:08:45,566 --> 00:08:47,902 I don't want to read that in a textbook. 181 00:08:47,985 --> 00:08:49,487 Yeah, nobody wants that. 182 00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:52,490 I'm sure cooler heads will prevail. 183 00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:53,824 Just some saber-rattling. 184 00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:58,079 The next resupply can't launch for a month, so... 185 00:08:58,829 --> 00:09:02,833 hopefully, they'll have the time to cool off before the guns show up. 186 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:05,044 Yeah. 187 00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:19,976 Captain Ali, I'd like you to look in locker 5. 188 00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:22,144 It says "spare oxygen." 189 00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:23,145 Just open it. 190 00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:33,030 Okay, but we do have spare oxygen somewhere, right? 191 00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:36,450 What do you want us to do with these, General? 192 00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:37,535 I'm not sure yet. 193 00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:40,413 Just, show everyone how to use them. 194 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,665 Make sure they're cleaned and loaded. 195 00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:44,625 Yes, sir. 196 00:09:45,876 --> 00:09:47,795 Loading and cleaning guns. 197 00:09:48,212 --> 00:09:52,883 Feels like no matter what I start doing, I always end up loading and cleaning guns. 198 00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:55,803 I haven't been allowed to touch one of these in forever. 199 00:09:55,886 --> 00:09:57,722 I just hope the general knows what he's doing. 200 00:09:58,639 --> 00:10:00,141 What if the Chinese have guns? 201 00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:03,060 No. They're a research center. 202 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:04,645 So are we. 203 00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:11,152 You already have guns on board? 204 00:10:11,235 --> 00:10:14,614 No toothbrushes, but room for guns? 205 00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:16,449 You lied to me, Naird! 206 00:10:16,532 --> 00:10:18,117 General Naird, Chief Scientist! 207 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,036 They were for self-defense. 208 00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:21,370 Sure they were! 209 00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:24,999 Sometimes, provocation requires a show of force! 210 00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:28,461 Neville Chamberlain didn't do that, and Hitler invaded Poland! 211 00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:31,255 Not everything is World War II! 212 00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:33,507 Well, not everything is Vietnam! 213 00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:36,093 I thought you were one of the good guys, 214 00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:38,554 with your John Wayne swagger. 215 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,514 But you're no John Wayne. 216 00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:42,516 You are Wayne John! 217 00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:45,728 - Who? - Wayne John! 218 00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:46,979 Wayne John! 219 00:10:47,438 --> 00:10:48,939 I worked with him at IBM! 220 00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:50,900 He stole pencils! 221 00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:52,360 My pencils! 222 00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:55,404 If you had any integrity at all, you would quit! 223 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:58,658 The person in line behind me will be even worse! 224 00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:02,536 I know I'm not perfect, but I know I'm not the worst. 225 00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:05,956 Well, you take that up with your next chief scientist. 226 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:07,875 - I quit! - Adrian! 227 00:11:07,958 --> 00:11:08,876 Adrian! 228 00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:11,337 Adrian! 229 00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:14,298 Adrian! Adrian! 230 00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,717 Rocky! Rocky! 231 00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:17,802 Right? 232 00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:36,195 Hey, Captain Ali. 233 00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:42,535 Whoa. What up, stalker? 234 00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:45,705 Just sitting there all creepy, staring at me. 235 00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:48,624 How long have you been watching me? 236 00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:51,043 Do you watch me sleep, too? 237 00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:53,295 Do you want me to be watching you? 238 00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:57,341 No. Gross. I was just messing around. 239 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,636 Well, that's not the story your heart rate is telling. 240 00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:04,557 I'm going into battle tomorrow. 241 00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:09,603 Anyway, um, I kind of thought you were calling me 242 00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:12,314 with an "I just want you to know." 243 00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:13,482 A what? 244 00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:15,735 You know, an "I just want you to know." 245 00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:19,321 It's like when people are like, "If we never see each other again, 246 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,115 I just want you to know, 247 00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:24,535 like, how I feel." 248 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:27,955 Um... 249 00:12:28,205 --> 00:12:30,958 You know that all communications with the launch room 250 00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:33,461 are recorded for posterity, Captain? 251 00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:37,006 Okay. No. Copy that, Scientist. 252 00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:39,675 Yes, loud and clear, and never mind. 253 00:12:40,217 --> 00:12:41,844 Actually, Chief Scientist now. 254 00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:43,220 Dr. Mallory quit today. 255 00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:45,389 Wow. I mean... 256 00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:47,641 Congratulations, I guess. 257 00:12:47,725 --> 00:12:50,561 But I also can't help thinking that means I'm fucked. 258 00:12:51,228 --> 00:12:52,855 No. You're a superhero. 259 00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:54,732 And the queen of TikTok. 260 00:12:55,524 --> 00:12:56,609 The what? 261 00:12:57,067 --> 00:12:58,736 It's good to be black on the moon. 262 00:12:58,819 --> 00:12:59,695 Goddamn it. 263 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,697 Okay. 264 00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:05,910 I cannot believe that's only like the tenth weirdest thing about today. 265 00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:08,704 Thanks for showing me. 266 00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,832 Yeah. Well, I just wanted you to know. 267 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:13,626 That I'm a meme? 268 00:13:13,709 --> 00:13:16,712 Yeah! You know, in case, like, we never see each other again, 269 00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:18,881 I just wanted you to know. 270 00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,181 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 271 00:13:30,851 --> 00:13:32,770 Is there any, sauce? 272 00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:37,650 I forgot the sauce. 273 00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,318 That's no problem. 274 00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:42,738 Do you have any cheese or, is there salad? 275 00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:48,244 Mark, you said you were a good cook. 276 00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:49,161 Yeah. 277 00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,622 I'm so sorry. I'm not gonna eat this. 278 00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:53,916 I'm not two years old. 279 00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:55,000 I apologize. 280 00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:56,502 My focus is off. 281 00:13:56,585 --> 00:13:58,921 - What's up? - Adrian Mallory quit today. 282 00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:01,799 Why? Did you make him dinner? 283 00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:07,012 He didn't like something that the military was doing. 284 00:14:07,429 --> 00:14:09,807 Well, he sounds like a spoiled little shit. 285 00:14:10,307 --> 00:14:12,476 Sometimes he is, but not this time. 286 00:14:13,477 --> 00:14:16,355 Well, will he come back if you stop doing what you're doing? 287 00:14:16,772 --> 00:14:18,941 I can't. It was an order. 288 00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:22,528 No, what are you doing? 289 00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:25,656 Mark, what are you... No. Stop it. I cannot let you eat that. 290 00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:26,574 It's barely cooked. 291 00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:27,741 It's crunchy. 292 00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:28,951 God. Here. 293 00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:31,745 No, no, no. No, no. 294 00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:38,043 I may be called upon to make a decision that I have to be completely sober for. 295 00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:41,213 It's not about sex, is it? Cause I don't mind if you're tipsy. 296 00:14:45,384 --> 00:14:48,762 I have to be prepared to order soldiers into battle. 297 00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:51,473 Can't really talk about it. 298 00:14:56,687 --> 00:14:57,980 I don't know what to do. 299 00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:05,696 When you asked me out, 300 00:15:06,530 --> 00:15:08,699 you knew you had to tell me about your wife. 301 00:15:09,199 --> 00:15:11,327 Even though it would probably ruin things. 302 00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:14,622 You literally couldn't do the wrong thing. 303 00:15:15,789 --> 00:15:17,249 So I'm not worried about you. 304 00:15:19,209 --> 00:15:21,754 What if I don't know what the right thing to do is? 305 00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:26,508 But you do. 306 00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:28,177 Don't you? 307 00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:39,355 Help me defy an order. 308 00:15:43,984 --> 00:15:45,027 Ooh. 309 00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:48,656 That is where I shine. 310 00:15:49,281 --> 00:15:52,534 I've been defying authority since I was 13. 311 00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:57,873 And now I'm gonna teach you 312 00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:00,918 to use the most subversive weapon known to man: 313 00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:02,127 passive-aggression. 314 00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:03,504 God, I hate that. 315 00:16:03,587 --> 00:16:04,463 Yeah, of course, 316 00:16:04,546 --> 00:16:08,217 because you're a straight white male, you always had other weapons. 317 00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:12,096 But the rest of us, we have to be subtle in our disobedience, 318 00:16:12,179 --> 00:16:13,305 or we risk punishment. 319 00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:15,724 So interesting. Go on. I'm so interested. 320 00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:18,519 No, see, that's sarcasm. That's different. 321 00:16:18,852 --> 00:16:20,771 Imagine in this situation, 322 00:16:20,854 --> 00:16:24,233 you could say that you're following through with the order, 323 00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:25,985 but then you forget to, 324 00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:28,862 or you can interpret that order creatively. 325 00:16:28,946 --> 00:16:31,615 "Destroy the bathroom" could mean a number of things 326 00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:35,202 and, if all else fails, you can feign incompetent, 327 00:16:35,285 --> 00:16:36,578 which shouldn't be a problem. 328 00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:38,539 Well, that explains Brad, doesn't it? 329 00:16:38,622 --> 00:16:39,915 Not entirely. 330 00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:47,840 - What are we to do? - I'll handle it! 331 00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:48,924 He'll handle it. 332 00:16:49,883 --> 00:16:52,970 Mr. Secretary, I just want to let you know before we begin, 333 00:16:53,053 --> 00:16:55,723 that I am running low on cell battery, so I may lose you. 334 00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:57,850 Here's the situation as it stands. 335 00:16:58,684 --> 00:16:59,560 Well done, sir. 336 00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:01,895 Nobody answer the phone for the next two hours. 337 00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:02,938 Yes, sir. 338 00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:10,112 My God. My God! 339 00:17:10,487 --> 00:17:12,906 Shit! Shit. 340 00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:21,957 Got a smoke? 341 00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:26,670 Can't buy your own? 342 00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:28,172 I can. 343 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,507 Just don't feel like it. 344 00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:38,140 Tell you what. 345 00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:40,392 I'll give it to you in my truck. 346 00:17:46,106 --> 00:17:47,816 Come on. We're going to a party. 347 00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:54,615 Fuck it. 348 00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:20,682 I've got it. 349 00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:24,436 Beijing is hosting the Winter Olympics 2022. 350 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:25,437 We boycott. 351 00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:26,814 Then they win even more medals. 352 00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:29,775 No, China's surprisingly awful at Winter Olympic sports. 353 00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:31,777 But boy-boy, Norway would be happy. 354 00:18:31,860 --> 00:18:33,821 Okay, say you are a criminal. 355 00:18:34,321 --> 00:18:36,615 What would be meaner than TP-ing somebody's house, 356 00:18:36,698 --> 00:18:39,660 but not as aggressive as home invasion-slash-murder? 357 00:18:39,743 --> 00:18:42,412 Tying the family up and letting them think they're gonna be murdered. 358 00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:44,748 Then they live with the fear and horror forever. 359 00:18:45,749 --> 00:18:48,544 Jesus, Brad. No wonder my dogs are scared of you. 360 00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:52,422 Excuse me, General, sir. 361 00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:54,800 The Sec Def is on in the conference room for you. 362 00:18:56,009 --> 00:18:56,969 Balls! 363 00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:59,346 All right, tell him I'll be right there. 364 00:18:59,429 --> 00:19:00,472 Put him on hold. 365 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,559 - What are you gonna say? - I'm not gonna say anything. 366 00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:06,145 I'm gonna go eat egg salad sandwiches until I puke. 367 00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:21,743 Hey. Hey! 368 00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:24,580 Hey, I think, um, you can just let me out, like, right here. 369 00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:26,540 That's... That's totally fine. 370 00:19:28,917 --> 00:19:30,419 Hey. You guys. 371 00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:33,046 Hey! Let me out here, okay? 372 00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:36,008 Excuse me! 373 00:19:36,758 --> 00:19:38,552 Can you please let me out? 374 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,597 Fucking kidding me! 375 00:19:45,809 --> 00:19:48,562 What the hell? Did you guys not hear me yelling? 376 00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:10,334 They're stonewalling us. 377 00:20:10,417 --> 00:20:12,294 Where... Where... Where's Grabaston? 378 00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:14,046 In the air and ready to swoop in! 379 00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:17,716 Big Eagle is ready to replace the Dodo Bird! 380 00:20:17,799 --> 00:20:19,843 I like what you said up there. 381 00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:21,803 I wish I was black on the moon. 382 00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:23,555 Thank you, sir. 383 00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:27,434 Captain, when we first met, you disobeyed an order. 384 00:20:29,144 --> 00:20:30,896 Yeah, I remember it well, sir. 385 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,357 Today, I'm thinking about doing the same. 386 00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:37,027 This is being recorded, General. 387 00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:45,410 The generation that won World War II was exposed to so much awful reality 388 00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:50,332 that they made mostly good decisions for a long time after. 389 00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:56,171 Forget history, and you are doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past. 390 00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:58,715 Forget how bad polio was, 391 00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:00,968 people stop taking vaccines. 392 00:21:02,302 --> 00:21:04,263 Forget how bad world wars are, 393 00:21:04,346 --> 00:21:06,390 people start puffing out their chests. 394 00:21:08,016 --> 00:21:09,851 The real enemy is arrogance. 395 00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:18,193 Angela, I think there are springs and bolts and such 396 00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:20,404 in those Manchester Arms devices 397 00:21:20,487 --> 00:21:22,948 that would be better used to build your habitat. 398 00:21:23,031 --> 00:21:26,702 I'd like you to disassemble them and let Eddie use the parts. 399 00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:29,997 You're telling me to... 400 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,708 ...to take the guns apart, which would disable them, General. 401 00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:33,834 That is correct. 402 00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:38,171 Thin ice, General. 403 00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:40,257 Thin ice. 404 00:21:58,734 --> 00:21:59,693 ID? 405 00:22:01,611 --> 00:22:02,779 Step aside, Gomer. 406 00:22:03,655 --> 00:22:07,784 Sir, I need to see some Space Force ID to let anyone inside. 407 00:22:08,201 --> 00:22:10,120 Here is my Space Force ID. 408 00:22:17,377 --> 00:22:19,588 And a second ID with a photo. 409 00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:23,258 A passport, Costco card. 410 00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:25,260 If you have to run on home... 411 00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:26,803 For fuck's sakes, restrain him. 412 00:22:26,887 --> 00:22:27,763 Gladly. 413 00:22:36,063 --> 00:22:37,230 General Naird! 414 00:22:37,981 --> 00:22:42,402 You were ordered to order an attack, and I am ordering you to obey that order. 415 00:22:42,486 --> 00:22:44,029 I'm not your waitress, Kick. 416 00:22:44,112 --> 00:22:46,615 I'm going to count to 125. 417 00:22:46,698 --> 00:22:47,949 Just count to three. 418 00:22:48,033 --> 00:22:51,411 Counting to 125 will give you ample time to think it over. 419 00:22:51,495 --> 00:22:52,788 This is wrong, Kick. 420 00:22:53,205 --> 00:22:54,790 Deep down, you know it, too. 421 00:22:54,873 --> 00:22:56,458 I don't give a shit. 422 00:22:57,209 --> 00:22:58,085 Arrest him. 423 00:22:59,753 --> 00:23:03,131 And don't try to run, Naird, or we'll shoot you in the back. 424 00:23:06,134 --> 00:23:08,136 Get me whoever is in charge up there. 425 00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:09,971 Her name is Captain Ali, sir. 426 00:23:10,472 --> 00:23:14,684 Captain Ali, you are hereby ordered to attack the Chinese base. 427 00:23:14,768 --> 00:23:15,727 Can't, sir. 428 00:23:15,811 --> 00:23:16,728 Guns are disabled. 429 00:23:16,812 --> 00:23:20,107 The barrels are now water pipes, and the springs are in the thermostats. 430 00:23:20,190 --> 00:23:22,901 Naird... that's treason. 431 00:23:22,984 --> 00:23:25,612 It's not treason to disobey an unlawful order. 432 00:23:26,279 --> 00:23:29,241 Well, there must be something else you can use as weapons. 433 00:23:29,324 --> 00:23:31,743 We have a crazy amount of wrenches. 434 00:23:31,827 --> 00:23:34,663 The big brainiac packed wrench after wrench. 435 00:23:34,746 --> 00:23:35,705 Go get 'em. 436 00:23:36,081 --> 00:23:37,207 Bigger the better. 437 00:23:37,791 --> 00:23:39,334 Sir, where is General Naird? 438 00:23:39,418 --> 00:23:41,002 I am in command now. 439 00:23:41,628 --> 00:23:43,505 It's wrenchin' time. 440 00:23:44,923 --> 00:23:48,093 It, um... It looks like we're actually doing this. 441 00:23:48,427 --> 00:23:50,429 Everybody suit up. 442 00:23:51,138 --> 00:23:52,055 Boots on the moon. 443 00:23:53,140 --> 00:23:54,558 Boots on the moon. 444 00:24:00,355 --> 00:24:01,189 Julio! 445 00:24:02,023 --> 00:24:04,109 - Spacesuit. - Yes. 446 00:24:45,650 --> 00:24:47,152 Okay. 447 00:24:58,038 --> 00:24:59,998 Hey, Bug, it's not really a good time. 448 00:25:00,081 --> 00:25:03,627 Dad, Dad, I'm in the desert, west of town, with some sketchy dudes. 449 00:25:04,669 --> 00:25:07,297 Erin, it doesn't sound like you're making good choices. 450 00:25:07,380 --> 00:25:08,924 You have to make good choices. 451 00:25:09,007 --> 00:25:12,093 It wasn't. It was a terrible choice, but I need you to come get me, okay? 452 00:25:12,177 --> 00:25:14,221 You said I could always call you if I needed a ride. 453 00:25:14,304 --> 00:25:17,432 I know, I know I did. But I can't come right now. 454 00:25:17,516 --> 00:25:18,600 I've been arrested. 455 00:25:19,267 --> 00:25:20,977 What? No. Mom was arrested. 456 00:25:21,061 --> 00:25:22,312 Yeah, I'm aware of that. 457 00:25:22,395 --> 00:25:24,439 I'm... I have been, too. I'm sorry. 458 00:25:25,565 --> 00:25:26,525 Well, that's great! 459 00:25:26,608 --> 00:25:29,236 Both my parents are in jail, and I can't get a tattoo. Okay. 460 00:25:29,319 --> 00:25:30,278 Honey! Honey! 461 00:25:30,695 --> 00:25:31,571 God. 462 00:25:32,739 --> 00:25:33,657 Fu... 463 00:25:35,408 --> 00:25:36,326 All right. 464 00:25:40,580 --> 00:25:41,623 Yeah. 465 00:25:45,293 --> 00:25:47,170 Duncan, it's Erin. Can you come get me? 466 00:25:47,254 --> 00:25:49,422 No. I'm sitting next to your dad. 467 00:25:49,881 --> 00:25:51,049 I got arrested, too. 468 00:25:51,132 --> 00:25:51,967 Fuck! 469 00:26:19,703 --> 00:26:22,581 For the record, I am against this action. 470 00:26:22,664 --> 00:26:23,873 Someone's taking notes, right? 471 00:26:25,542 --> 00:26:27,252 This is all Kick's baby now. 472 00:26:31,131 --> 00:26:32,465 We can't let this happen. 473 00:26:32,549 --> 00:26:34,050 Fuck Tony, come with me. 474 00:26:36,678 --> 00:26:38,597 My name is Dr. Adrian Mallory. 475 00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:42,684 I am the former Chief Scientist of Space Force. 476 00:26:43,101 --> 00:26:46,521 And if the world does not stop this madness, 477 00:26:46,605 --> 00:26:49,441 I will set myself on fire! 478 00:26:49,524 --> 00:26:51,359 Yes, the entire world is listening. This is your moment. 479 00:26:51,818 --> 00:26:55,780 I'll give you one chance to change course! 480 00:26:55,864 --> 00:26:57,407 Don't do it. Don't do it. 481 00:26:57,490 --> 00:27:00,035 Don't you try and stop me, Brad! 482 00:27:00,118 --> 00:27:01,453 I am doing it! 483 00:27:01,953 --> 00:27:04,789 Okey-dokey. Well, you're a better man than I'll ever be. 484 00:27:04,873 --> 00:27:05,707 Wait. 485 00:27:06,249 --> 00:27:07,751 Don't... Goodbye! 486 00:27:09,169 --> 00:27:10,920 Okay, so what's in the can. Is it gasoline? 487 00:27:11,004 --> 00:27:12,339 Yes, this is gas. 488 00:27:12,422 --> 00:27:14,382 I guess the first step would be to sprinkle it on your pants. 489 00:27:14,466 --> 00:27:17,344 So I suppose I should do that now? 490 00:27:17,427 --> 00:27:18,261 Yeah. 491 00:27:20,805 --> 00:27:21,765 Jesus. 492 00:27:22,265 --> 00:27:24,059 If you need help, I can help you out. Here... 493 00:27:24,142 --> 00:27:27,020 Thank you, Fuck Tony, but you know what? 494 00:27:27,729 --> 00:27:32,442 I... I think I've proven what I wanted to prove. 495 00:27:32,859 --> 00:27:35,987 I mean, let's face it. At the end of the day, I think I'm done. 496 00:27:36,071 --> 00:27:38,198 - I'm good. - We're already here. We got the gasoline. 497 00:27:38,281 --> 00:27:41,368 No, I know, but it's... I'm good. It's fine. Thank you. 498 00:27:42,202 --> 00:27:43,036 Mom, I'm in trouble, 499 00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:45,622 and Dad and the only other guy I know who could help are useless. 500 00:27:46,039 --> 00:27:48,458 Well, don't tell me that when I can't do anything. 501 00:27:48,541 --> 00:27:49,751 Jesus, honey! 502 00:27:49,834 --> 00:27:51,169 Mommy, I'm scared. 503 00:27:53,213 --> 00:27:56,758 Erin, you're gonna have to handle this one on your own. 504 00:28:18,488 --> 00:28:19,364 Fuck. 505 00:28:48,977 --> 00:28:50,687 Do you have your lighter in your pocket? 506 00:28:50,770 --> 00:28:52,856 Or are you just glad to see me? 507 00:28:52,939 --> 00:28:53,857 What? 508 00:28:55,066 --> 00:28:56,067 I have it. 509 00:28:58,445 --> 00:28:59,696 Okay. Okay. 510 00:29:01,990 --> 00:29:02,949 Good. Good. Good. 511 00:29:07,996 --> 00:29:08,872 There you go. 512 00:29:10,540 --> 00:29:11,416 Okay. 513 00:29:12,333 --> 00:29:13,168 Okay. 514 00:29:28,725 --> 00:29:29,601 Fuck. 515 00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:49,954 Fuck! 516 00:30:18,608 --> 00:30:20,777 Jesus! Erin, no helmet? 517 00:30:20,860 --> 00:30:22,111 I know. Sorry. 518 00:30:22,195 --> 00:30:24,531 - So, who doesn't have your back? - Okay, yes. 519 00:30:24,614 --> 00:30:26,950 - You're my hero. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 520 00:30:40,088 --> 00:30:41,339 It looks deserted. 521 00:30:47,220 --> 00:30:48,054 Okay. 522 00:30:48,555 --> 00:30:49,597 Let's do this thing. 523 00:30:51,808 --> 00:30:55,186 Wait. Dad, do you see something down there in the gully? 524 00:30:58,231 --> 00:30:59,691 My God. 525 00:31:10,702 --> 00:31:12,328 - Maggie? - Whoo! 526 00:31:12,412 --> 00:31:13,621 - Mom! - Hi! 527 00:31:13,705 --> 00:31:14,831 I escaped! 528 00:31:14,914 --> 00:31:16,457 Just came to save you! 529 00:31:17,125 --> 00:31:18,126 Sweetie! 530 00:31:19,669 --> 00:31:21,129 You guys! 531 00:31:26,050 --> 00:31:27,886 - This is Louise. - Hi. 532 00:31:27,969 --> 00:31:29,512 She's been very helpful. 533 00:31:30,930 --> 00:31:32,056 This is great! 534 00:31:33,308 --> 00:31:34,475 We're all together. 535 00:31:35,977 --> 00:31:37,061 And Louise. 536 00:31:51,910 --> 00:31:56,164 Tell General Grabaston we've rendered the Chinese moon base inoperable. 537 00:31:56,247 --> 00:31:58,166 Destroyed the life-support systems, 538 00:31:58,249 --> 00:32:00,710 breached the capsule walls in all pods, 539 00:32:00,793 --> 00:32:03,254 and released the oxygen as ordered. 540 00:32:03,755 --> 00:32:05,882 We are returning with their extra stores 541 00:32:05,965 --> 00:32:10,178 and will prepare to receive the scientists as refugees at the US base. 542 00:32:12,931 --> 00:32:13,890 Shit! 543 00:32:14,265 --> 00:32:15,099 Captain Ali? 544 00:32:34,702 --> 00:32:35,870 Now what do we do? 545 00:32:38,831 --> 00:32:40,500 You have one new message. 546 00:32:40,625 --> 00:32:42,877 Sir, I noticed that you escaped, 547 00:32:42,961 --> 00:32:44,420 which is great. Congrats. 548 00:32:44,504 --> 00:32:46,547 I don't believe you're a traitor. 549 00:32:46,631 --> 00:32:49,384 No matter, you know, what they're saying. I don't wanna worry you, 550 00:32:49,467 --> 00:32:52,387 but the spacemen are just a little tiny bit fucked. 551 00:32:52,470 --> 00:32:55,306 So if you could maybe sneak back and give us a hand, 552 00:32:55,390 --> 00:32:56,349 you know, it'd be great. 553 00:32:56,432 --> 00:32:57,767 But, you know, of course, 554 00:32:57,850 --> 00:33:01,354 you'll probably be court-martialed if you come back, so tough choice. 555 00:33:01,437 --> 00:33:03,439 Ooh. I wouldn't wanna be in your shoes.