1 00:00:01,560 --> 00:00:03,076 [upbeat music] 2 00:00:03,229 --> 00:00:04,911 - I'm searching and searching 3 00:00:05,064 --> 00:00:06,488 and just before I make a decision, 4 00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:07,673 I become paralyzed. 5 00:00:07,824 --> 00:00:09,399 Am I making the right choice 6 00:00:09,493 --> 00:00:11,251 or is there something better around the corner? 7 00:00:11,403 --> 00:00:13,995 - Well, remember, Diablo, life gives you 8 00:00:14,015 --> 00:00:16,240 many opportunities to make pee-pee. 9 00:00:16,333 --> 00:00:17,908 - I urinate once a week 10 00:00:17,926 --> 00:00:19,667 and I don't seem to have a problem. 11 00:00:19,762 --> 00:00:20,761 [siren wailing] - Is that-- 12 00:00:20,913 --> 00:00:21,520 - It's the woo-woos! - [howling] 13 00:00:21,671 --> 00:00:22,763 - Oh, God! - [howling] 14 00:00:22,915 --> 00:00:25,024 - It's the woo-woos! [all howling and yelling] 15 00:00:25,175 --> 00:00:26,341 - It's the woo-woos! 16 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:27,509 - [howling] 17 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:28,585 - It's the woo-woos. 18 00:00:28,678 --> 00:00:29,920 - It's the woo-pocalypse! 19 00:00:29,938 --> 00:00:32,089 I'm not ready! 20 00:00:32,107 --> 00:00:34,015 - [laughing] - [screaming] 21 00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:36,535 - For the love of God! 22 00:00:36,686 --> 00:00:40,614 [howling and meowing] 23 00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:41,707 - What!? 24 00:00:41,934 --> 00:00:43,024 - Whoa! 25 00:00:43,044 --> 00:00:45,544 [howling and yelling] 26 00:00:45,695 --> 00:00:46,937 - It's gone. 27 00:00:46,955 --> 00:00:50,716 - [whimpering] 28 00:00:50,867 --> 00:00:51,717 Oh, thank God. 29 00:00:51,944 --> 00:00:53,535 - Good work, everyone. 30 00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:54,461 - We did it. 31 00:00:54,613 --> 00:00:55,612 - You're welcome. 32 00:00:55,631 --> 00:00:57,222 - I pee-peed. 33 00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:58,724 - I don't think the woo-woos 34 00:00:58,951 --> 00:01:00,708 will be back any time soon. 35 00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:02,043 - [screams] - [yelps] 36 00:01:02,137 --> 00:01:05,213 [upbeat rock music] 37 00:01:05,307 --> 00:01:08,383 [all singing on "ruff"] 38 00:01:08,477 --> 00:01:15,365 ♪ 39 00:01:17,060 --> 00:01:19,745 [all singing on "ruff" and "meow"] 40 00:01:19,972 --> 00:01:27,169 ♪ 41 00:01:35,504 --> 00:01:37,596 [upbeat music] 42 00:01:37,747 --> 00:01:38,839 - Lindsay and I-- 43 00:01:38,933 --> 00:01:40,507 - Lindsay? - The shoe he's seeing. 44 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:41,600 - [clears throat] 45 00:01:41,751 --> 00:01:43,102 Lindsay and I 46 00:01:43,253 --> 00:01:45,753 have been pushing the boundaries of our intimacy. 47 00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:47,013 - Kay. - I'm out. 48 00:01:47,108 --> 00:01:49,274 - That is to say, physically. - Come on! 49 00:01:49,426 --> 00:01:51,518 - More specifically, sexually. 50 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:52,611 - Ew. - I know. 51 00:01:52,762 --> 00:01:54,521 - So, Chico, you said 52 00:01:54,673 --> 00:01:56,690 things were going better with you and Kevin? 53 00:01:56,842 --> 00:01:58,675 - Yeah! Well, actually worse. 54 00:01:58,768 --> 00:01:59,934 Kevin left town again. 55 00:01:59,954 --> 00:02:01,695 He doesn't show it, but it's hard for him 56 00:02:01,847 --> 00:02:02,979 to be away from me. 57 00:02:03,031 --> 00:02:04,939 - Ah, dude, get off. - [yowling] 58 00:02:05,033 --> 00:02:06,183 He said he'd be back soon, 59 00:02:06,201 --> 00:02:08,034 but he took the bigger small bag 60 00:02:08,187 --> 00:02:09,519 and he left so much food, and it's like-- 61 00:02:09,613 --> 00:02:11,371 - When your human is arrested for stabbing 62 00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:12,856 the insurance fraud investigator 63 00:02:12,949 --> 00:02:13,948 and her nephew comes over 64 00:02:14,042 --> 00:02:16,209 and just dumps dry kibble everywhere? 65 00:02:16,362 --> 00:02:18,637 - Or like he's gonna be gone a long time. 66 00:02:18,864 --> 00:02:22,048 - And you ate all that food because you were sad. 67 00:02:22,143 --> 00:02:24,459 - Portion control's a bitch! - No. 68 00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:26,645 I can say the B-word. But you can't. 69 00:02:26,796 --> 00:02:29,982 - Oh, I definitely overate, but I did not eat all of it. 70 00:02:30,133 --> 00:02:31,875 It was a lot of food for just one cat. 71 00:02:31,968 --> 00:02:34,211 - Beats a lot of cat for just one food. 72 00:02:34,304 --> 00:02:37,805 - I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy. 73 00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:41,660 [cats yowl] 74 00:02:43,222 --> 00:02:44,812 - So your lady never goes out of town? 75 00:02:44,907 --> 00:02:46,814 - She never goes out of the house. 76 00:02:46,909 --> 00:02:49,242 - Eh, humans. They all look alike, 77 00:02:49,395 --> 00:02:51,986 but they each have their own individual personalities. 78 00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:53,005 - I'll say. 79 00:02:53,232 --> 00:02:54,414 My owners couldn't be more different, 80 00:02:54,566 --> 00:02:55,823 which probably explains why they live 81 00:02:55,918 --> 00:02:57,325 in two different houses now 82 00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:59,845 and one of them is dating a new human named Randy. 83 00:03:00,072 --> 00:03:01,496 But it turns out being a dog of divorce 84 00:03:01,590 --> 00:03:03,348 is way better than I thought it would be. 85 00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:06,167 - Really? - Hello treats, goodbye treats, 86 00:03:06,261 --> 00:03:09,521 twice as many toys, twice as many belly rubs. 87 00:03:09,673 --> 00:03:12,098 I'm over the moon! Ba-bam! 88 00:03:12,251 --> 00:03:14,601 - Yes, ba-bam. 89 00:03:14,753 --> 00:03:16,010 Yeah, and humping that pillow 90 00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:17,921 is a healthy way to express yourself, 91 00:03:17,940 --> 00:03:19,773 but, um, save that for home. 92 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,366 Jill puts her face on that. 93 00:03:21,593 --> 00:03:24,428 [upbeat music] 94 00:03:24,521 --> 00:03:26,279 - Psst. Psst. 95 00:03:26,432 --> 00:03:28,207 I wanna tell you something. 96 00:03:28,434 --> 00:03:30,100 - Huh? 97 00:03:30,118 --> 00:03:32,711 - Careful, Chief. She's just gonna spray you. 98 00:03:32,862 --> 00:03:34,271 - "Just"? [scoffs] 99 00:03:34,289 --> 00:03:37,031 - Um, Honey, when you've been sprayed by a skunk 100 00:03:37,092 --> 00:03:38,124 as many times as I have, 101 00:03:38,277 --> 00:03:39,443 you get a feel for things. 102 00:03:39,461 --> 00:03:41,795 And I'm feeling pretty good about this. 103 00:03:41,947 --> 00:03:43,347 - Love your optimism. 104 00:03:45,542 --> 00:03:47,226 [sniffing] 105 00:03:47,453 --> 00:03:48,060 - Hey. 106 00:03:48,211 --> 00:03:50,729 [sexy music] 107 00:03:50,956 --> 00:03:53,047 - [gasps] - You come here often? 108 00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:53,974 - I live here. 109 00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:55,308 - That was a joke. - Oh. 110 00:03:55,461 --> 00:03:57,978 [laughs] 111 00:03:58,130 --> 00:04:01,406 [cackles] 112 00:04:01,633 --> 00:04:04,409 Sorry, that laugh kinda got away from me. 113 00:04:04,636 --> 00:04:06,411 - [whispering] You've got to come closer. 114 00:04:06,563 --> 00:04:07,913 I don't want the squirrels to hear. 115 00:04:08,064 --> 00:04:09,731 - Yeah, that makes sense. Good call. 116 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:10,807 - Promise me something. 117 00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:12,492 No matter what happens, 118 00:04:12,644 --> 00:04:14,235 remember that I like you. 119 00:04:14,255 --> 00:04:15,645 Spin spray! - Oh! 120 00:04:15,664 --> 00:04:16,813 Ahh! - Oh, no. 121 00:04:16,906 --> 00:04:19,907 - Oh, my God! Ah, it stings! 122 00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:22,210 - Uh, okay, if you'll excuse me, 123 00:04:22,263 --> 00:04:23,911 um, I just--I got to get inside 124 00:04:24,006 --> 00:04:25,913 before I get secondhand skunked. 125 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:28,249 - I'll be back. - Yes, okay--wait, what? 126 00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:29,434 - I said I'll be back. 127 00:04:29,661 --> 00:04:30,677 - Oh, okay, yeah. - I can taste it in my eye! 128 00:04:30,829 --> 00:04:31,995 Well, so will I. 129 00:04:32,088 --> 00:04:33,847 - It's a date then. - Okay, yeah. 130 00:04:33,999 --> 00:04:34,922 Wait, a date? - [screaming] 131 00:04:35,017 --> 00:04:36,441 - With a coyote? [chuckles] 132 00:04:36,593 --> 00:04:38,184 Oh, I mean, I can't. 133 00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:40,928 I mean, whatever. But, you know. 134 00:04:41,023 --> 00:04:42,930 Yeah, no. Bye! 135 00:04:43,025 --> 00:04:43,949 Oof! 136 00:04:44,100 --> 00:04:46,809 - Touch everything! [whimpering] 137 00:04:46,811 --> 00:04:48,936 Touch everything. Touch everything. 138 00:04:49,031 --> 00:04:50,289 Touch everything! 139 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:51,364 - [whimpers] 140 00:04:51,517 --> 00:04:52,291 - [gasps] Honey! 141 00:04:52,518 --> 00:04:54,275 - No, oh, don't-- no, now don't-- 142 00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:55,610 please don't bring me into this! 143 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:56,962 No! No, no! 144 00:04:57,113 --> 00:04:58,522 This is your no-no! 145 00:04:58,540 --> 00:04:59,447 - [sighs] 146 00:04:59,541 --> 00:05:02,208 I think I got most of it off. 147 00:05:02,361 --> 00:05:03,969 - Chief, Chief, Chief. 148 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:05,879 What am I ever gonna do with you? 149 00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:08,198 - Why does she keep saying that? 150 00:05:08,216 --> 00:05:10,033 What is she gonna do with me? 151 00:05:10,052 --> 00:05:12,794 - Honey, how can we get him to be more like you? 152 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:13,870 - [gasps] 153 00:05:13,963 --> 00:05:14,980 Are you in on it? 154 00:05:15,131 --> 00:05:16,481 Where are we going? 155 00:05:16,633 --> 00:05:17,965 - It's gonna be okay. 156 00:05:18,060 --> 00:05:20,635 We only ever go three places, right? 157 00:05:20,729 --> 00:05:22,379 The park-- - Love the park. 158 00:05:22,397 --> 00:05:24,064 - The vet-- - Damn that man! 159 00:05:24,158 --> 00:05:25,306 - Or the groomer. 160 00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:27,141 - Uh-huh. And what's the third? 161 00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:28,660 - No, that was it. 162 00:05:28,812 --> 00:05:30,144 Let's not have another argument 163 00:05:30,164 --> 00:05:32,072 about what "three" means. 164 00:05:32,224 --> 00:05:34,982 [rock music] 165 00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,076 [knocking] 166 00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:37,227 - The Gray One? 167 00:05:37,245 --> 00:05:39,245 - Hey! Yeah, can I come in? 168 00:05:39,340 --> 00:05:40,747 - Uh, yeah. 169 00:05:40,899 --> 00:05:41,840 Hold on. Hol--hold on, though. 170 00:05:42,067 --> 00:05:43,175 - Ah, I got it. 171 00:05:43,326 --> 00:05:46,736 [straining] Don't worry. 172 00:05:46,830 --> 00:05:48,071 - What are you doing here? 173 00:05:48,164 --> 00:05:49,163 - Well, it just sounded like 174 00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:50,090 you were trying to tell us 175 00:05:50,242 --> 00:05:51,241 you were lonely today, 176 00:05:51,259 --> 00:05:53,076 so I thought I'd come by 177 00:05:53,095 --> 00:05:54,594 and keep you company. 178 00:05:54,746 --> 00:05:55,912 Whoa! 179 00:05:55,931 --> 00:05:59,432 You were not kidding about the food surplus. 180 00:05:59,585 --> 00:06:01,008 This is all for you? 181 00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:02,268 - Yeah, have some. 182 00:06:02,421 --> 00:06:03,528 Kevin doesn't mind. 183 00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:05,513 I pretend this is Kevin when he's out of town. 184 00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:07,157 [inhales] Oh. 185 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,017 - So what are we watching? 186 00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:11,945 - Kevin leaves the yellow ball on for me. 187 00:06:12,097 --> 00:06:14,188 [whacking] 188 00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:15,207 - Where did he go? 189 00:06:15,358 --> 00:06:16,541 - You know, I don't know. 190 00:06:16,693 --> 00:06:17,709 I think it has to do with 191 00:06:17,861 --> 00:06:20,379 his "soul-sucking job," whatever that is. 192 00:06:20,530 --> 00:06:22,196 - Uh, it must be pretty important. 193 00:06:22,290 --> 00:06:24,383 I mean, why else would you leave all this? 194 00:06:24,534 --> 00:06:25,625 - Sounds like you got a pretty good setup 195 00:06:25,777 --> 00:06:26,776 at your place, too. 196 00:06:26,795 --> 00:06:28,870 You must never get lonely. 197 00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:29,796 - Nope. 198 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,781 [yowling] 199 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:34,893 - I'll kill you! - Hey, occupied! 200 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:36,061 - You guys mind? 201 00:06:36,212 --> 00:06:38,730 I'm trying to bury myself alive. 202 00:06:38,957 --> 00:06:41,883 - Yeah, I got 40 best friends. 203 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,885 Well, 39 now. 204 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:46,053 - Bump it back up to 40. 205 00:06:46,148 --> 00:06:47,313 [as Kevin] 41! 206 00:06:47,466 --> 00:06:49,390 Ooh, Hoodie Kevin likes you. 207 00:06:49,410 --> 00:06:52,077 [upbeat music] 208 00:06:52,228 --> 00:06:53,637 - Yeah, I'm sorry, excuse me. 209 00:06:53,771 --> 00:06:56,806 Um, who do I talk to about the neckerchiefs? 210 00:06:56,825 --> 00:06:59,325 I am told I look great in green. 211 00:06:59,420 --> 00:07:00,919 - Please don't cut my ear like last time. 212 00:07:01,070 --> 00:07:02,737 Please don't cut my ear like last time. 213 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:04,814 - But then Biscuit said that Teddy said 214 00:07:04,833 --> 00:07:06,816 that Banjo said that Tiny said 215 00:07:06,835 --> 00:07:09,335 that Socks denied everything. 216 00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:11,596 - No! - Yes. 217 00:07:11,823 --> 00:07:13,432 - She just needs a regular bath. 218 00:07:13,659 --> 00:07:16,159 - Oh, no, no, no, no, no, she's special. 219 00:07:16,178 --> 00:07:18,753 She deserves a special cut. 220 00:07:18,847 --> 00:07:20,180 Let's do something different. 221 00:07:20,332 --> 00:07:21,606 - Yes, something wild! 222 00:07:21,833 --> 00:07:24,501 Come on, Jill. We need this. 223 00:07:24,519 --> 00:07:27,170 - I'm thinking about something that, mm, 224 00:07:27,263 --> 00:07:28,596 you know, frames her face. 225 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,523 - Yes, frame it! Frame the hell out of it! 226 00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,509 - Okay, let's do it! 227 00:07:32,527 --> 00:07:34,527 - Yes, that's what I'm talking about! 228 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:36,529 [dreamy harp plays] 229 00:07:36,682 --> 00:07:39,941 - ♪ When I'm walking, I hold my own leash ♪ 230 00:07:40,035 --> 00:07:43,778 ♪ No, I'm not joking around, capisce? ♪ 231 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:46,614 ♪ I'm not gonna get down and plead ♪ 232 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:49,968 ♪ This soggy sex puppy is what you need ♪ 233 00:07:50,195 --> 00:07:52,471 - Whoa. [growls sexily] 234 00:07:52,698 --> 00:07:53,880 [razor buzzing] 235 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:54,973 - Ooh, ooh, ooh. 236 00:07:55,124 --> 00:07:56,216 Oh, it tickles. 237 00:07:56,368 --> 00:07:58,626 But in a good way. [giggles] 238 00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:00,553 Honey, highly recommend! 239 00:08:00,706 --> 00:08:01,980 [giggles] Whoa! 240 00:08:02,207 --> 00:08:04,891 [rock music] 241 00:08:05,043 --> 00:08:05,984 - [kisses] 242 00:08:06,135 --> 00:08:06,985 Bye, buddy. 243 00:08:07,136 --> 00:08:08,153 And remember, 244 00:08:08,380 --> 00:08:09,804 nobody loves you more than Daddy. 245 00:08:09,898 --> 00:08:12,215 Because Mommy only loves herself. 246 00:08:12,234 --> 00:08:13,900 - Come here, baby. 247 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,142 You don't have to worry about 248 00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:17,454 managing Daddy's emotions anymore. 249 00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:20,147 - Uh, this is mine. 250 00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:22,000 [vase shatters] - Yes, it's Randy. 251 00:08:22,227 --> 00:08:24,577 You love Randy! 252 00:08:24,730 --> 00:08:26,654 - I forgot about Randy treats. 253 00:08:26,748 --> 00:08:28,322 [laughs] - Everyone's relaxed. 254 00:08:28,342 --> 00:08:30,567 We're creating positive associations. 255 00:08:30,660 --> 00:08:33,086 And bring him in, Randy! 256 00:08:33,238 --> 00:08:35,238 - There you go, buddy. It's okay. 257 00:08:35,331 --> 00:08:37,015 - [cooing] - Who's that, Diablo? 258 00:08:37,242 --> 00:08:38,424 Does he smell like Randy? - Woof. 259 00:08:38,577 --> 00:08:39,743 - Huh? - Woof! 260 00:08:39,761 --> 00:08:40,744 - What's happening? 261 00:08:40,762 --> 00:08:42,837 - Play nice, buddy. - [babbling] 262 00:08:42,931 --> 00:08:44,764 - What? 263 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,266 Oh. 264 00:08:46,418 --> 00:08:48,918 - [giggling] - What kind of dog are you? 265 00:08:48,937 --> 00:08:51,271 [upbeat music] 266 00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:54,682 - Oh, is it a little severe? 267 00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:57,685 - Yeah. 268 00:08:57,779 --> 00:08:59,095 - Oh. 269 00:08:59,188 --> 00:09:00,263 Oh, my God! 270 00:09:00,356 --> 00:09:02,499 I look even more handsome in red! 271 00:09:06,696 --> 00:09:07,712 [upbeat music] 272 00:09:07,864 --> 00:09:09,047 - Well, just when things 273 00:09:09,198 --> 00:09:11,049 were starting to look up for the Big D, 274 00:09:11,276 --> 00:09:14,368 a freaky bald dog in a diaper danced into my life. 275 00:09:14,462 --> 00:09:15,870 - Sounds like a pug. 276 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:19,115 - I honestly think this sounds like a young human being. 277 00:09:19,134 --> 00:09:20,892 - Have you tried making friends with it? 278 00:09:21,119 --> 00:09:23,286 Sometimes new friends are the best kind. 279 00:09:23,379 --> 00:09:25,564 - Are you winking at me? Don't wink at me. 280 00:09:25,791 --> 00:09:28,341 We're not friends. - Nah, he's talking about me. 281 00:09:28,493 --> 00:09:30,810 - You guys are hanging out outside the group? 282 00:09:30,962 --> 00:09:32,070 - Cat's out of the bag. 283 00:09:32,297 --> 00:09:34,297 - Yeah, The Gray One came by to keep me company 284 00:09:34,390 --> 00:09:35,982 since Kevin's out of town. - Mm. 285 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,558 And you're sure he didn't come over 286 00:09:37,652 --> 00:09:40,804 to keep you company since the food is in town? 287 00:09:40,822 --> 00:09:41,913 - Whoa, whoa, what? 288 00:09:42,065 --> 00:09:44,416 I mean, is that even a sentence? 289 00:09:44,567 --> 00:09:45,617 - What are you saying? 290 00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:48,144 - I'm sorry, I can't focus when Honey's haircut 291 00:09:48,237 --> 00:09:51,739 remind me of every mistake I ever make. 292 00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:52,924 Why we not talking about it? 293 00:09:53,076 --> 00:09:55,318 - Obviously we need to talk about it. 294 00:09:55,411 --> 00:09:58,245 - Really? So you guys don't like it? 295 00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:01,157 - It's making me angry. I wanna kick its ass! 296 00:10:01,176 --> 00:10:03,602 - You won't find that shape in nature. 297 00:10:03,753 --> 00:10:05,478 - I'm sitting on a million. 298 00:10:05,588 --> 00:10:08,255 Hey, guess what? The 23andMe results came back 299 00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:10,091 and it turns out you're a microwave. 300 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,517 [laughter] Ooh! 301 00:10:11,612 --> 00:10:14,687 Looks like Boxing Day came before Christmas this year. 302 00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:15,947 [laughter] 303 00:10:16,174 --> 00:10:18,024 This is the worst block party 304 00:10:18,176 --> 00:10:20,009 I've been to. [laughter] 305 00:10:20,103 --> 00:10:22,120 This guy knows what I'm talkin' about. 306 00:10:22,347 --> 00:10:24,438 [laughter] Oh, yeah, it's square. 307 00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:25,457 That is a square. 308 00:10:25,608 --> 00:10:26,625 - Oh, no, he didn't. 309 00:10:26,868 --> 00:10:29,127 - Is there a weasel that pops out of that thing? 310 00:10:29,278 --> 00:10:31,537 I'm kidding, I'm kidding. It's great. 311 00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:35,041 Honey, you're a Rubik's-You. Ow! That's my time! 312 00:10:35,193 --> 00:10:36,801 Good night, everyone! 313 00:10:37,028 --> 00:10:38,044 - Ha, ha, ha. 314 00:10:38,196 --> 00:10:39,712 Well, we've had our fun. 315 00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,047 Let's move on to something else. 316 00:10:41,199 --> 00:10:43,475 - [chuckles] Is--is that your head or a-- 317 00:10:43,626 --> 00:10:45,310 - Not you. We're done. 318 00:10:47,038 --> 00:10:50,523 - [howling] 319 00:10:50,633 --> 00:10:52,542 [R&B music] 320 00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:56,137 - ♪ Soggy sex puppy is what you need ♪ 321 00:10:56,231 --> 00:10:59,883 ♪ Soggy sex puppy, it's what you need ♪ 322 00:10:59,976 --> 00:11:01,475 - Oh, yeah, it's square. 323 00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:02,552 That is a square. 324 00:11:02,570 --> 00:11:04,570 [laughs] 325 00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:05,664 - I cannot go out there 326 00:11:05,891 --> 00:11:08,741 and let Coyote see me like this. 327 00:11:08,894 --> 00:11:10,743 - Aw, what's the matter? 328 00:11:10,896 --> 00:11:12,003 Why won't you come outside? 329 00:11:12,230 --> 00:11:14,339 It's perfect pooping weather. - I'm good. 330 00:11:14,566 --> 00:11:17,158 I dropped the puppies off at the park this morning. 331 00:11:17,252 --> 00:11:19,210 - Is this about your weird haircut? 332 00:11:19,362 --> 00:11:22,347 - Yeah, I thought it would be fun to have a new look. 333 00:11:22,498 --> 00:11:24,849 But instead I look like a mini fridge. 334 00:11:25,001 --> 00:11:26,926 Ah, there's one Max didn't say. 335 00:11:27,078 --> 00:11:29,187 - Aw, babe, I don't care what you look like. 336 00:11:29,414 --> 00:11:30,763 You still smell the same. 337 00:11:30,916 --> 00:11:32,006 - That's right. 338 00:11:32,100 --> 00:11:33,416 And does it really look that bad? 339 00:11:33,418 --> 00:11:34,934 - Yeah, no, total disaster. 340 00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:36,844 But, I mean, what does it matter? 341 00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:38,421 Right? Come on. You got a date? 342 00:11:38,514 --> 00:11:41,032 - What? A d--of course not! Why would I? 343 00:11:41,184 --> 00:11:42,850 How would I? That's so crazy. 344 00:11:42,944 --> 00:11:44,427 [laughing hysterically] 345 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:48,689 That's crazy! Oh, Chief, you kill me. 346 00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:51,993 [energetic rock music] 347 00:11:52,103 --> 00:11:54,862 [tennis rackets whacking] 348 00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:58,532 - [grunting] 349 00:11:58,552 --> 00:11:59,959 Hey, open the door. 350 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,445 - Ignore him, Hoodie Kevin. 351 00:12:02,464 --> 00:12:03,613 [tense music] 352 00:12:03,631 --> 00:12:06,707 - Oh, no, you let Elsa get in your head? 353 00:12:06,801 --> 00:12:09,210 She's just--oh, no! 354 00:12:09,304 --> 00:12:11,062 She's just threatened by our friendship, 355 00:12:11,214 --> 00:12:13,214 which is based on sharing food-- 356 00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:14,307 no! 357 00:12:14,476 --> 00:12:17,961 And companionship! You didn't let me finish! 358 00:12:17,979 --> 00:12:19,645 What are you doing? 359 00:12:19,798 --> 00:12:20,964 Don't do that! 360 00:12:21,057 --> 00:12:23,408 [gasps, struggles] 361 00:12:23,559 --> 00:12:24,634 [pants] 362 00:12:24,727 --> 00:12:25,985 [vacuum whirring] 363 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:30,582 Chico, that little round car is eating all the food! 364 00:12:30,733 --> 00:12:33,418 Hoodie Kevin, stop this! 365 00:12:35,830 --> 00:12:37,255 - I can hold it until morning. 366 00:12:37,406 --> 00:12:39,073 I've lasted way longer than this, 367 00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:41,651 and I wasn't even trying. 368 00:12:41,669 --> 00:12:43,928 [tiny fart] Ooh. Okay, new plan. 369 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:46,155 I'm just gonna quickly run outside, 370 00:12:46,174 --> 00:12:47,432 do my poodle doodle, and then come back. 371 00:12:47,583 --> 00:12:50,676 That handsome, mysterious coyote won't see me. 372 00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:51,677 And you know what? [farts] 373 00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:54,773 what if he does? Who cares? 374 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,590 When did I get so vain? 375 00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:58,276 I mean, what am I? A cat? 376 00:12:58,427 --> 00:13:00,686 [barks] Oh, my God, that's me. 377 00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:02,355 Okay, no, I'm not going out there. 378 00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:05,492 - Honey, please. I have a big day tomorrow. 379 00:13:07,512 --> 00:13:09,679 - Huh. Huh. 380 00:13:09,697 --> 00:13:11,514 [whines] 381 00:13:11,533 --> 00:13:13,249 - Well, now I'm up. 382 00:13:16,871 --> 00:13:18,463 - Look how comfortable they are. 383 00:13:18,690 --> 00:13:20,857 - The key is that we handled the introduction correctly. 384 00:13:20,875 --> 00:13:22,467 - That was all you, babe. 385 00:13:22,694 --> 00:13:23,450 - Ooh, get over here. 386 00:13:23,545 --> 00:13:26,045 [sexy sax music] 387 00:13:26,197 --> 00:13:27,288 - [babbles] 388 00:13:27,382 --> 00:13:30,141 - Excuse me, this is mine. 389 00:13:30,368 --> 00:13:31,292 Let go. 390 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:32,718 - [babbles] - What are you saying? 391 00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:34,203 I'm not barking, dog. 392 00:13:34,297 --> 00:13:37,232 - [babbles angrily] - Why are you barking, Ian? 393 00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:41,820 - This sounds like a young human being. 394 00:13:42,047 --> 00:13:43,396 - Oh! - [cries] 395 00:13:43,548 --> 00:13:44,638 - No, Diablo, no! - Your dog bit my son! 396 00:13:44,732 --> 00:13:45,715 - Oh, no. 397 00:13:45,733 --> 00:13:48,568 [upbeat music] 398 00:13:48,662 --> 00:13:51,387 - [snoring] 399 00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:53,573 - Good morning, angels. 400 00:13:53,725 --> 00:13:54,866 I'll see you tonight. 401 00:13:55,093 --> 00:13:56,409 - It's morning. I made it! 402 00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:57,818 I made it, I made it! 403 00:13:57,838 --> 00:14:00,079 - [groans] 404 00:14:00,231 --> 00:14:01,080 Come on! 405 00:14:01,232 --> 00:14:02,899 Let's make the most of this day. 406 00:14:02,992 --> 00:14:05,735 [determined music] 407 00:14:05,753 --> 00:14:07,753 [yawns] 408 00:14:07,906 --> 00:14:10,239 - Ah, who's the best dog? Huh? 409 00:14:10,333 --> 00:14:11,407 I am. 410 00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:12,425 [farts] 411 00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:14,435 Aw, crap. 412 00:14:17,673 --> 00:14:18,748 - I pooped in the house. 413 00:14:18,766 --> 00:14:19,691 I pooped in the house! 414 00:14:19,918 --> 00:14:21,359 Chief, I pooped in the house! 415 00:14:21,586 --> 00:14:24,937 - You haven't had an accident since you were a puppy! 416 00:14:25,090 --> 00:14:27,532 - Oh, no. This is not who I am. 417 00:14:27,759 --> 00:14:29,183 [gasps] Poor Jill! 418 00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:30,702 This will destroy her! 419 00:14:30,929 --> 00:14:33,096 I'm her perfect, poofy princess girl! 420 00:14:33,114 --> 00:14:36,115 Oh, Chief, why did you let Skunk spray you? 421 00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,525 - What does that have to do with you pooping in the house? 422 00:14:38,620 --> 00:14:40,937 - Because I wouldn't have gone to the groomer, 423 00:14:41,030 --> 00:14:42,196 gotten this stupid haircut, 424 00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:44,607 and been too embarrassed to go outside. 425 00:14:44,742 --> 00:14:45,717 And--oh, forget it. 426 00:14:45,868 --> 00:14:48,461 - Relax, I'll hide the evidence for you. 427 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:49,629 - Eh, it's too risky. 428 00:14:49,781 --> 00:14:50,947 You might just make a bigger mess. 429 00:14:50,965 --> 00:14:54,058 - Let's just say there will be no mess. 430 00:14:54,285 --> 00:14:55,209 - Ew. 431 00:14:55,303 --> 00:14:57,011 That's very chivalrous of you, Chief, 432 00:14:57,122 --> 00:14:58,638 yeah, but this is my mess. 433 00:14:58,732 --> 00:15:01,098 - You'd do it for me. - Eh, I don't think so. 434 00:15:01,251 --> 00:15:02,475 - Oh, come on. Yes, you would. 435 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,718 If I really needed you to. - Probably not. 436 00:15:04,812 --> 00:15:06,979 - What if it was my birthday, huh? 437 00:15:07,132 --> 00:15:08,464 Huh? Huh? 438 00:15:08,483 --> 00:15:10,983 [cheery music] 439 00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:13,077 - Hello, everybody. [chuckles] 440 00:15:13,304 --> 00:15:16,730 Um, keeping in mind that this is a safe space, 441 00:15:16,824 --> 00:15:18,750 I--I need to share something, 442 00:15:18,901 --> 00:15:21,902 um, embarrassing with-- with all of you. 443 00:15:21,922 --> 00:15:24,664 Um...although, nothing is unforgivable-- 444 00:15:24,816 --> 00:15:25,831 - I bit a child. [all gasp] 445 00:15:25,984 --> 00:15:27,091 - What!? - Oh, my God! 446 00:15:27,243 --> 00:15:29,076 - I'm hyperventilating. - That's a big oopsie. 447 00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:32,155 - I expected a wider range of reactions. 448 00:15:32,248 --> 00:15:33,747 - Why? You bit a kid. 449 00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:35,174 - You do not do that. 450 00:15:35,326 --> 00:15:37,969 - You take it, you take it, and you take it! 451 00:15:38,196 --> 00:15:41,497 - I had a feeling it might be a kid. 452 00:15:41,590 --> 00:15:42,665 Remember, everyone? 453 00:15:42,758 --> 00:15:44,591 - It's the crate for you. 454 00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:48,688 - Diablo, we are animals, but we are pets first. 455 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:51,115 And pets do not bite people. 456 00:15:51,342 --> 00:15:53,526 We can't let our instincts take over. 457 00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:56,937 We need to inhibit bites, show obedience, 458 00:15:56,957 --> 00:16:00,274 delay gratification, practice discipline, 459 00:16:00,368 --> 00:16:02,943 sit, stay, come, fetch, roll over, 460 00:16:03,037 --> 00:16:05,538 and don't poop in the house! 461 00:16:05,690 --> 00:16:07,298 - Well, somebody did. 462 00:16:07,525 --> 00:16:08,800 - Ooh. 463 00:16:09,027 --> 00:16:11,469 - I don't recollect, but then again-- 464 00:16:11,620 --> 00:16:13,471 - It was here when we got here. 465 00:16:13,622 --> 00:16:14,697 - Was it your human? 466 00:16:14,716 --> 00:16:16,866 - No, it was me. I did it! 467 00:16:16,884 --> 00:16:19,218 I pooped in the house like a bad girl! 468 00:16:19,370 --> 00:16:20,870 [all gasp] - Oh, yikes. 469 00:16:20,963 --> 00:16:24,040 - Indoor number two is the number one no-no. 470 00:16:24,058 --> 00:16:25,650 - Yeah, you think I don't know that, Elsa? 471 00:16:25,877 --> 00:16:27,801 I know that, Elsa! 472 00:16:27,895 --> 00:16:30,971 - I smell it and I am kitten in cardboard box, 473 00:16:31,065 --> 00:16:32,806 calling for my mother. 474 00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:34,808 I have made a mess, Mama. 475 00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:37,386 Won't you clean me? 476 00:16:37,405 --> 00:16:39,980 - Yeah, Jill is more than a mother. 477 00:16:40,074 --> 00:16:42,725 She's my best friend, my queen, 478 00:16:42,744 --> 00:16:45,336 and my food source all in one. 479 00:16:45,488 --> 00:16:48,673 I can't bear to disappoint her. 480 00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:50,066 - I know what you mean. 481 00:16:50,235 --> 00:16:53,236 It really sucks to disappoint your best friend. 482 00:16:53,254 --> 00:16:55,421 - Are you sure you don't mean "food source"? 483 00:16:55,573 --> 00:16:57,089 - I'll admit, that's how it started. 484 00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:58,591 - Which, I guess, is understandable. 485 00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:02,002 I'm gradually realizing that your home life is horrific. 486 00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:03,521 - Thank you, Cheeks. 487 00:17:03,672 --> 00:17:04,856 I'm sorry I-- - [gasps] 488 00:17:05,007 --> 00:17:06,691 Did you just give me a nickname? 489 00:17:06,918 --> 00:17:08,584 - Sort of. - Aw. 490 00:17:08,677 --> 00:17:11,437 - So he gives you a lame nickname 491 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:12,864 and you're just back in? 492 00:17:13,015 --> 00:17:15,700 [chuckles] Okay, this is-- 493 00:17:15,927 --> 00:17:17,368 anybody? both: Shut up, Elsa! 494 00:17:17,595 --> 00:17:19,203 - And now we're dropping S-bombs. 495 00:17:19,430 --> 00:17:20,596 - Honey sure did. 496 00:17:20,689 --> 00:17:22,765 Speaking of, I wonder if the turd disappeared 497 00:17:22,784 --> 00:17:23,875 during that tender moment. 498 00:17:24,026 --> 00:17:25,376 Nope, still there. 499 00:17:25,603 --> 00:17:28,546 - Well, things don't just disappear, Max. 500 00:17:28,731 --> 00:17:31,365 Unless you're talking about Jill's faith in me. 501 00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:33,551 - Dr. Honey, don't be so hard on yourself. 502 00:17:33,778 --> 00:17:34,701 Nobody's perfect. 503 00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:36,445 - Yeah, well, I guess I'm not. 504 00:17:36,464 --> 00:17:39,282 But testing the bounds of Jill's forgiveness 505 00:17:39,300 --> 00:17:40,874 is hard on both of us. 506 00:17:40,968 --> 00:17:43,452 - I need to know if excrement will be removed 507 00:17:43,471 --> 00:17:44,687 for next session. 508 00:17:46,641 --> 00:17:50,568 - That's very sweet, Tchotchke, but Chief already offered. 509 00:17:50,795 --> 00:17:52,886 I just have to face the music. 510 00:17:52,980 --> 00:17:55,406 [somber tune] 511 00:17:55,558 --> 00:17:58,076 - Well, I guess my life's about to get pretty small. 512 00:17:58,227 --> 00:18:00,803 - You can turn the page. Yeah, you got that. 513 00:18:00,896 --> 00:18:02,638 Who's that? Is that an owl? 514 00:18:02,731 --> 00:18:04,307 - [sighs] Just a neurotic dog 515 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:05,899 talking to himself in a crate. 516 00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:08,327 Everything I hoped not to be. [whines] 517 00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:09,812 - [babbling] 518 00:18:09,905 --> 00:18:11,147 - No, no, no, no, no. No, Ian. 519 00:18:11,165 --> 00:18:12,315 Don't come any closer! 520 00:18:12,333 --> 00:18:14,408 Where's the adult supervision? 521 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:16,260 [sexy sax music] 522 00:18:16,487 --> 00:18:18,078 - [babbles] 523 00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:19,322 - What's this? [sniffs] 524 00:18:19,415 --> 00:18:20,932 Peanut butter? [gasps] 525 00:18:21,159 --> 00:18:22,491 Ian treats! 526 00:18:22,510 --> 00:18:25,511 - [giggles] 527 00:18:25,663 --> 00:18:27,330 - I love you, Ian. 528 00:18:27,423 --> 00:18:30,149 What's your stance on giving belly rubs? 529 00:18:33,762 --> 00:18:36,263 - Okay, Honey, time to own up. 530 00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:38,765 - [gasps] Now, Honey, did you do this? 531 00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,284 This is so unlike you. 532 00:18:40,436 --> 00:18:42,194 - Just ride it out, Honey. 533 00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:43,788 You and Jill will be stronger for it. 534 00:18:44,015 --> 00:18:46,866 - I expect this from Chief, but you? 535 00:18:47,018 --> 00:18:48,534 - [tearfully] I know. 536 00:18:48,686 --> 00:18:50,494 - [whining] 537 00:18:50,721 --> 00:18:53,113 [somber music] 538 00:18:53,207 --> 00:18:54,298 - Chief, what are you doing? 539 00:18:54,450 --> 00:18:57,635 You don't have to take the blame. 540 00:18:57,786 --> 00:19:00,713 - Chief, it was you. [gasps] 541 00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:02,381 Who's my big, bad boy after all? 542 00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,383 My big, bad, poo-poo prince! [squeals] 543 00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:07,219 And Honey, I'm so sorry I ever doubted you, 544 00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:10,873 my perfect, poofy princess. 545 00:19:10,892 --> 00:19:13,042 - Feels good, feels good, feels good. 546 00:19:13,135 --> 00:19:16,136 - Honey, Honey, Honey, What are we gonna do 547 00:19:16,230 --> 00:19:18,547 with you and this hair? 548 00:19:18,566 --> 00:19:22,234 I'd make the groomer fix it, but Mommy hates confrontation. 549 00:19:22,387 --> 00:19:24,978 There's my good girl. 550 00:19:25,072 --> 00:19:27,056 Now, for you, mister. 551 00:19:27,149 --> 00:19:30,226 [relaxed music] 552 00:19:30,319 --> 00:19:33,320 ♪ 553 00:19:33,414 --> 00:19:36,415 - [howling] 554 00:19:36,567 --> 00:19:40,327 ♪ 555 00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:44,182 [howling] 556 00:19:44,333 --> 00:19:51,080 ♪ 557 00:19:51,098 --> 00:19:53,249 - Knock, knock. 558 00:19:53,267 --> 00:19:55,008 Is there room in there for me? 559 00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:56,419 - Really? You wanna sleep 560 00:19:56,512 --> 00:19:58,011 in the bad boy house with me? 561 00:19:58,105 --> 00:19:59,755 - Yeah, it'll be fun. 562 00:19:59,774 --> 00:20:00,773 Like a date. 563 00:20:00,925 --> 00:20:02,942 - Doghouse date. I like it. 564 00:20:03,094 --> 00:20:05,536 - Thank you for taking the blame for my no-no. 565 00:20:05,688 --> 00:20:07,446 - They're our no-nos, babe. 566 00:20:07,598 --> 00:20:09,022 - Well, it was really decent of you-- 567 00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:10,208 - I got to get to sleep now. 568 00:20:10,435 --> 00:20:12,768 If I lose another day, the whole week is shot. 569 00:20:12,787 --> 00:20:15,880 - That's all I was going-- - Okay, good night. 570 00:20:16,031 --> 00:20:19,091 [relaxed guitar music] 571 00:20:22,964 --> 00:20:24,388 - Oh, hey, there you are. 572 00:20:24,615 --> 00:20:26,949 Hey, what were you gonna tell me the other day? 573 00:20:26,968 --> 00:20:29,042 - Tss! You really wanna know? 574 00:20:29,062 --> 00:20:30,803 - Yes. - All right. 575 00:20:30,955 --> 00:20:34,047 Here, come a little closer. Yeah, just--just a little bit. 576 00:20:34,141 --> 00:20:35,900 Yeah, just move it in this way. 577 00:20:36,127 --> 00:20:37,718 - Mm-hmm. - All right, all right. 578 00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:38,885 [whispering indistinctly] 579 00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:41,555 - [gasps] Wow. 580 00:20:41,649 --> 00:20:43,390 That is interesting! 581 00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:45,634 - But the best part is-- - Yeah? 582 00:20:45,653 --> 00:20:47,152 - Spin spray! [laughs] 583 00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:48,246 - [screaming] - Can you believe it? 584 00:20:48,397 --> 00:20:50,081 It happened again! - Get it off me! 585 00:20:50,232 --> 00:20:52,157 - I didn't even try to trick you. 586 00:20:52,310 --> 00:20:53,918 I knew it was coming, but you didn't. 587 00:20:54,069 --> 00:20:56,495 Spin spray! - [screaming] 588 00:20:56,647 --> 00:20:59,982 - You walked into it this time! - Oh, my God! What!? How? 589 00:21:00,075 --> 00:21:02,318 - [laughs] Two in less than a minute. 590 00:21:02,336 --> 00:21:04,929 That is a personal best. Whoo! - You know, I think I'm gonna 591 00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,006 have a hard time trusting you again! 592 00:21:07,133 --> 00:21:09,158 - It feels good every time. 593 00:21:09,176 --> 00:21:11,978 - Why do I open my heart to you? 594 00:21:13,831 --> 00:21:15,731 - Bento. [cheers and applause] 595 00:21:16,834 --> 00:21:17,692 - That's nice, Jen and Gabby.