1
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[man] The assholes wouldn't leave.
2
00:00:38,630 --> 00:00:42,838
I had to call the goddamn Sheriff to cart
them and their scrawny fucktard kids away.
3
00:00:43,296 --> 00:00:45,755
Ah, crap! Goddammit.
4
00:00:47,255 --> 00:00:48,088
Fuck!
5
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I don't know, a dead possum.
6
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[flies buzzing]
7
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What a shit hole.
8
00:00:57,296 --> 00:01:01,755
Listen, I gotta go.
Another day, another eviction.
9
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[narrator] This dump's my home.
10
00:01:08,671 --> 00:01:10,130
The only one I ever had.
11
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Some people may not think much of it.
12
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But me and my buddy Otto
like it here just fine.
13
00:01:22,171 --> 00:01:26,046
And the good book says,
"A man's home is his castle
14
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and whosoevereth trespasses shall be
struck down with fire and lightning."
15
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And since I ain't got no lightning,
I tend just to keep it real simple, like.
16
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[gun cocks]
17
00:01:40,630 --> 00:01:44,213
I'm about to blow your head off, fat boy.
18
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Mr. Dvorchack, I presume?
19
00:01:48,005 --> 00:01:49,296
City Inspector.
20
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[grunts]
21
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I've been habitating here
more than 20-odd years now.
22
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And some new high-falutin' sanitation law
don't mean shit to me, Mr. City Inspector.
23
00:02:06,713 --> 00:02:09,255
Oh, but I'm afraid it does mean something
24
00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:11,838
to the owners of the condominiums
they're building next door.
25
00:02:11,921 --> 00:02:14,755
So, you see,
everything in this dump has got to go,
26
00:02:14,838 --> 00:02:16,671
including you, Mr. Dvorchack.
27
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-If you'll just sign these papers--
-[Dvorchack] Otto!
28
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Otto! C'mere, boy!
29
00:02:23,213 --> 00:02:24,713
Oh, dang critter.
30
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Always scrounging for food.
31
00:02:27,838 --> 00:02:32,255
Yeah, I tell you what... how about
we crack a couple of cold beers
32
00:02:32,338 --> 00:02:34,671
while I spin ya a little yarn?
33
00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:37,380
And you still want Otto
and me gone when I'm done,
34
00:02:37,463 --> 00:02:41,588
well, I'll sign whatever you want
and we clear on out.
35
00:02:42,088 --> 00:02:46,130
-Dang lighter!
-I'm a busy man, Mr. Dvorchack.
36
00:02:46,213 --> 00:02:49,421
I don't have time for drunken ramblings
and crazy stories.
37
00:02:49,505 --> 00:02:51,046
If we could just move this--
38
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-One night, couple years back...
-Fuck me.
39
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-...me and my friend Pearly, we...
-[lighter ignites]
40
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Eh?
41
00:03:01,130 --> 00:03:06,338
Me and my friend Pearly were
having a drink and conversatin', like.
42
00:03:06,546 --> 00:03:07,796
[laughs]
43
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Oh, boy, I tell ya.
44
00:03:10,421 --> 00:03:13,713
Hell, you oughta get up off yer duff
and see the world.
45
00:03:14,505 --> 00:03:16,213
Oh, what for?
46
00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:19,213
Everything I need ends up here eventually.
47
00:03:19,296 --> 00:03:21,755
Oh, yeah? What about women?
48
00:03:21,838 --> 00:03:23,963
I don't see no women round here.
49
00:03:24,296 --> 00:03:25,630
Pearly, she's right there.
50
00:03:26,255 --> 00:03:28,713
Oh, sorry. No offense, Betty.
51
00:03:29,796 --> 00:03:31,505
But I am telling you, boy.
52
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Down in Laredo, they got these
river trash whores. Oh, boy!
53
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[laughing]
54
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They can suck the chrome
off a trailer hitch.
55
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-[metal clangs]
-Hey, you hear that?
56
00:03:42,130 --> 00:03:44,921
It's just rats. Tell me about the whores.
57
00:03:45,338 --> 00:03:48,713
Hold your horses a minute.
My back teeth are floating.
58
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[Pearly] Come on out, ya little monster.
59
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[chuckles]
60
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Yeah, boy.
61
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[metal banging]
62
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[rattling]
63
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What?
64
00:04:11,588 --> 00:04:13,588
[loud clanging and rattling]
65
00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:16,046
[grunts]
66
00:04:22,005 --> 00:04:23,338
What in the hell?
67
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[chuckles]
68
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[gun shot]
69
00:04:34,963 --> 00:04:36,713
Don't shoot the rats!
70
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-It's good company.
-[multiple gun shots]
71
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What in tarnation?
72
00:04:43,963 --> 00:04:45,421
[panting heavily]
73
00:04:45,588 --> 00:04:47,755
We gotta get the hell outta Dodge!
74
00:04:47,838 --> 00:04:50,046
-There's something out there?
-What the hell is it?
75
00:04:50,130 --> 00:04:51,296
[metal crashing]
76
00:04:51,380 --> 00:04:52,296
It's coming.
77
00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:57,255
What is it?
78
00:04:57,338 --> 00:05:00,338
Damned if I know! It's eyes everywhere!
79
00:05:00,588 --> 00:05:03,255
All manner of crap stickin' out of it.
80
00:05:03,796 --> 00:05:05,255
It's all shiny and wet.
81
00:05:06,338 --> 00:05:07,255
[Pearly yelps]
82
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[gulps] My balls!
83
00:05:16,421 --> 00:05:17,255
[screams]
84
00:05:18,755 --> 00:05:20,671
Aargh! Help me!
85
00:05:20,755 --> 00:05:22,588
[gargled scream]
86
00:05:23,380 --> 00:05:24,546
I don't wanna go!
87
00:05:24,630 --> 00:05:26,005
Let go, Pearly!
88
00:05:26,671 --> 00:05:28,130
I can't shoot!
89
00:05:28,630 --> 00:05:29,755
[creature moans]
90
00:05:35,255 --> 00:05:36,088
Pearly!
91
00:05:36,171 --> 00:05:37,671
[creature howls]
92
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[banging and rattling]
93
00:05:44,255 --> 00:05:46,671
[creature growls and snorts]
94
00:05:52,671 --> 00:05:54,671
[creature moans]
95
00:05:56,171 --> 00:05:58,380
Give my friend back, motherfucker!
96
00:06:01,296 --> 00:06:03,296
I'ma get you, you son of a bitch.
97
00:06:08,130 --> 00:06:09,213
[engine starts]
98
00:06:13,046 --> 00:06:14,255
[engine revs]
99
00:06:26,338 --> 00:06:27,255
[tires screech]
100
00:06:44,130 --> 00:06:45,421
Die!
101
00:06:47,838 --> 00:06:49,463
[cackles]
102
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[howls]
103
00:06:51,463 --> 00:06:52,713
What in the shit?
104
00:06:53,963 --> 00:06:55,963
[howling]
[reverse gear beeping]
105
00:07:11,296 --> 00:07:13,088
Now fuck me ragged.
106
00:07:13,171 --> 00:07:14,505
-[whimpers]
-A puppy.
107
00:07:16,755 --> 00:07:18,046
[groaning]
108
00:07:19,963 --> 00:07:23,046
[Dvorchack] And that's when a
big old light bulb went off in my head.
109
00:07:23,546 --> 00:07:28,296
This here monster wasn't just created
by all the heat and garbage.
110
00:07:28,380 --> 00:07:29,755
It lived off it.
111
00:07:30,838 --> 00:07:34,880
And whatever it ate became a part of it.
112
00:07:39,546 --> 00:07:40,546
[incoming message alert]
113
00:07:41,380 --> 00:07:42,463
[Inspector laughs]
114
00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:45,171
They're gonna love this one
back at the office.
115
00:07:45,963 --> 00:07:47,046
Sorry.
116
00:07:47,505 --> 00:07:49,588
So, you were saying about Curly?
117
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His name was Pearly.
118
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Right.
119
00:07:54,838 --> 00:07:58,796
And it's an absolutely riveting tale,
Mr. Dvorchack,
120
00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:03,130
but I can actually feel myself
getting septic shock sitting here.
121
00:08:03,213 --> 00:08:06,255
So, if you'll just make a big X
on those papers,
122
00:08:06,338 --> 00:08:08,588
I can finally get out of this shit hole.
123
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:11,630
Otto! There you are, boy!
124
00:08:12,630 --> 00:08:13,713
[creature growls]
125
00:08:14,088 --> 00:08:15,713
[metal clanging]
126
00:08:19,755 --> 00:08:21,505
What? [screams]
127
00:08:21,921 --> 00:08:22,755
No!
128
00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:25,755
No!
129
00:08:26,796 --> 00:08:28,505
Mr. Dvorchack!
130
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[screaming]
131
00:08:38,630 --> 00:08:40,588
Yep. The way I see it...
132
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you hang around a dump long enough
and the world comes to you.
133
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Ain't that right, Otto?
134
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[screams]
[Dvorchack laughs]
135
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[whistles] Here, boy!
136
00:09:00,671 --> 00:09:01,796
Attaboy!
137
00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:04,505
[Dvorchack] Yes, sir, the dump's my home.