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[narrator] <i>When the yogurt took over,</i>
<i>we all made the same jokes.</i>

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<i>"Finally our rulers would have culture.</i>

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<i>Our society is curdled.</i>

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<i>Our government is now</i>
<i>the cream of the crop," and so on.</i>

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<i>But, when we weren't laughing about</i>
<i>the absurdity of it all,</i>

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00:00:58,213 --> 00:01:02,380
<i>we asked ourselves, "How did we ever get</i>
<i>to the point where we were,</i>

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<i>in fact, ruled by a dairy product?"</i>

8
00:01:06,963 --> 00:01:10,838
<i>Oh, as a matter of record,</i>
<i>we knew how it happened.</i>

9
00:01:12,255 --> 00:01:16,380
<i>Researchers took one of their most</i>
<i>computationally advanced strains of DNA</i>

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<i>and grafted it onto</i>
<i>Lactobacillus delbrueckii,</i>

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<i>commonly used to ferment yogurt.</i>

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<i>Initial tests appeared to be failures.</i>

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<i>However, one of the researchers sneaked</i>
<i>some of the bacillus out of the lab</i>

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<i>to use for her homemade yogurt.</i>

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<i>The night of June 27th,</i>
it <i>became sentient.</i>

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[yawning]

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[gasping]

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<i>The yogurt declared</i>
<i>it had arrived at solutions</i>

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<i>to many of the country's problems.</i>

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<i>But it wanted payment for that.</i>

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We.

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Want.

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Ohio.

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[everyone laughs]

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That's fine, we will just go to China.

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They promised us a whole province.

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[president chuckles slowly]

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[narrator] <i>The yogurt</i>
<i>was crafty and shrewd...</i>

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<i>and got a century-long lease on Ohio</i>

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<i>with the promise that it would respect</i>
<i>the human and constitutional rights</i>

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<i>of those who lived within its borders.</i>

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[electronic humming]

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<i>There it kept evolving, and soon,</i>

34
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<i>it handed over a complex formula</i>

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<i>to eradicate the national debt</i>
<i>within one year.</i>

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[yogurt] Follow it exactly.

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Any deviation will bring
complete economic ruin.

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We will.

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[narrator] <i>Naturally, the politicians</i>
<i>didn't follow instruction.</i>

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<i>Within six months,</i>
<i>the global economy collapsed.</i>

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I am going to eat your little toes.

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-[narrator]<i> Only Ohio remained unscathed.</i>
<i>-</i>[baby laughs]

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[yogurt] We told you not to deviate
from the plan.

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Your experts are too close
to the problem to solve it.

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Any. Human. Is.

46
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[narrator] <i>The government declared</i>
<i>martial law,</i>

47
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<i>and gave the yogurt</i>
<i>supreme executive power.</i>

48
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<i>Of course, some people</i>
<i>weren't pleased at first.</i>

49
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[crowd yells] Down with yogurt, down--

50
00:03:59,088 --> 00:04:00,546
<i>The anti-government demonstrators--</i>

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[erratic electronic music plays]

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[narrator] <i>Now, ten years later,</i>
<i>humanity is happy, healthy, and wealthy.</i>

53
00:04:16,296 --> 00:04:20,463
<i>No one argues with the yogurt,</i>
<i>no one tweaks its formulas.</i>

54
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<i>That's how it happened,</i>
<i>but we still ask ourselves,</i>

55
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<i>if the yogurt was smart enough</i>
<i>to solve our debt problem,</i>

56
00:04:27,755 --> 00:04:32,005
<i>wasn't it also smart enough to realize</i>
<i>that human intellectual vanity</i>

57
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<i>would keep us from</i>
<i>following the formula exactly?</i>

58
00:04:36,755 --> 00:04:37,880
<i>Then there's this.</i>

59
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<i>-In the past several weeks, the yogurt...</i>
-[rocket engines blasting]
<i>...has initiated several space launches.</i>

60
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<i>Life from earth is going to the stars,</i>

61
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<i>it just may not be human life.</i>

62
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<i>What happens if the yogurt</i>
<i>goes to the stars without us?</i>