1
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[theme music playing]

2
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[hip-hop song playing]

3
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♪ Now I got it boomin'
Now I got it boomin' ♪

4
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♪ The way that I be movin'
Boy, I can't be human ♪

5
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♪ Shorty bought a Gucci
But I bought a Louis ♪

6
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-♪ Yeah, asked her why she pick it... ♪
-[grunting]

7
00:00:50,041 --> 00:00:51,831
♪ Now I got it boomin'
Now I got it boomin' ♪

8
00:00:52,625 --> 00:00:54,955
♪ Now I got it boomin'
Now I got it boomin' ♪

9
00:00:55,041 --> 00:00:57,381
♪ Now I got it boomin'
Now I got it boomin' ♪

10
00:00:57,458 --> 00:01:00,168
♪ The way that I be movin'
Boy, I can't be human ♪

11
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♪ Still ridin' with the squad ♪

12
00:01:01,541 --> 00:01:03,921
♪ Hangin' out the window
Screamin'...the other side ♪

13
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♪ We gonna hit the city
And get lit and catch a vibe ♪

14
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♪ Trying to leave with a couple baddies
Stickin' to my side ♪

15
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♪ Where the fatty body hop
We'll kick it like karate chop ♪

16
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[slurps]

17
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[computer beeping]

18
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[barking]

19
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Ohm...

20
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[whirring]

21
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[breathes sharply]

22
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[country music playing over radio]

23
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[exhales sharply]

24
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Hi.

25
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[whirring stops]

26
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Hm.

27
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[gasps]

28
00:02:13,375 --> 00:02:14,535
What's up with you?

29
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Tsk, tsk, tsk.

30
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[whining]

31
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-[whirring]
-You need some energetic healing, buddy.

32
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[whirring stops]

33
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[growling]

34
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[dramatic music playing]

35
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-[dog barking]
-[whirring]

36
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[gasps] Oh.

37
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[whimpering]

38
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[man 1 on phone]
Thanks for calling Vacuubot,

39
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purveyors of America's
finest automated vacuum cleaners.

40
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For English, press one.

41
00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:05,830
-[man 2 speaks in Spanish on phone]
-[keypad beeps]

42
00:03:05,916 --> 00:03:08,496
[man 1] You've asked to speak
to a human representative.

43
00:03:08,583 --> 00:03:12,753
The current wait time
is six hours and 14 minutes.

44
00:03:12,833 --> 00:03:14,503
[scoffs] Seriously?

45
00:03:14,583 --> 00:03:17,213
If you have a repair query, press one.
If you need--

46
00:03:17,291 --> 00:03:18,501
Alrighty then,

47
00:03:18,583 --> 00:03:21,213
have you tried
turning your Vacuubot off and on again?

48
00:03:23,666 --> 00:03:24,666
Huh.

49
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[gasps]

50
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Ah. There you are.

51
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[electricity crackling]

52
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Ow!

53
00:03:31,750 --> 00:03:33,580
Our onboard GOLDEN YEARS system

54
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tells us you've somehow
activated Purge Mode.

55
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This feature is designed
to eradicate small pests

56
00:03:39,583 --> 00:03:41,923
-such as insects, spiders and mice.
-The hell?

57
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,040
But in certain situations, larger prey

58
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-like pets and some humans
-What?

59
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could be targeted.
We're sorry for any inconvenience.

60
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[suspenseful music playing]

61
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[gasps, then screams]

62
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[panting]

63
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If your Vacuubot has decided
to purge all living things, press three.

64
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To end Purge Mode,
you will need to access the options menu.

65
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To do that, you will need
to distract Vacuubot to get close.

66
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We suggest throwing something at it,
like a blanket or pet.

67
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What in the Bodhisattva is going on here?
Are you fucking kidding me?

68
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The automated system has detected
high levels of profanity.

69
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Your bad attitude has been filed
in our customer database.

70
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[yells]

71
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[panting]

72
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No.

73
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[grunts, then groans]

74
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Now then, have you
calmed your sassy boots down?

75
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-[breathing deeply]
-If so, press one.

76
00:05:20,666 --> 00:05:21,576
That's better.

77
00:05:21,666 --> 00:05:24,576
So are you willing to throw your pet
at the Vacuubot?

78
00:05:24,666 --> 00:05:27,326
Press one for yes, two for no.

79
00:05:27,416 --> 00:05:28,786
What do you mean, "no"?

80
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It could come down to you or it,
and believe this,

81
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any pet would sacrifice you
in an instant.

82
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Look into their cold, animal eyes
and tell me they wouldn't.

83
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Come on, press "yes."

84
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-[dramatic music playing]
-[whines]

85
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Fine, throw whatever you've got
over the Vacuubot

86
00:05:46,583 --> 00:05:50,293
and while it struggles to be free,
zip in close and turn it off.

87
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-[doorknob clicks]
-[gasps]

88
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[whimpers]

89
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[growling]

90
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[shrieks]

91
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[dramatic music playing]

92
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[panting]

93
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-[doors lock]
-[gasps]

94
00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:25,670
Uh-oh. When you attacked your Vacuubot,
you activated

95
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-its HOME GUARD security mode,
-"Attacked"?

96
00:06:27,625 --> 00:06:30,535
-and it's identified you as a trespasser.
-You told me to.

97
00:06:30,625 --> 00:06:35,125
Vacuubot will classify any area
it's cleaned as its personal territory.

98
00:06:35,208 --> 00:06:37,378
Has this Vacuubot
cleaned your entire home?

99
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[humming]

100
00:06:39,916 --> 00:06:40,916
[banging]

101
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[mouthing] Help!

102
00:06:42,291 --> 00:06:43,291
Hm.

103
00:06:43,375 --> 00:06:46,415
-Hey, help!
-Well, it's Vacuubot's house now.

104
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We suggest you run.

105
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[suspenseful music playing]

106
00:06:51,166 --> 00:06:51,996
[dog whimpers]

107
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[Vacuubot whirring]

108
00:07:55,083 --> 00:07:56,753
[dramatic music playing]

109
00:08:03,208 --> 00:08:04,378
-Have you left yet?
-[gasps]

110
00:08:04,458 --> 00:08:06,538
-When you've reached minimum safe distance
-Shut up.

111
00:08:06,625 --> 00:08:09,375
-from Vacuubot's territory, press one.
-[whimpering]

112
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Fluff and fold, motherfucker!

113
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[suspenseful music playing]

114
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[grunting]

115
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[dog barking]

116
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[groans]

117
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Damn it.

118
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-[shrieks then whimpers]
-[Bill] Step aside, ladies.

119
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[dramatic music playing]

120
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[electricity crackling]

121
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Congratulations,

122
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you've stopped the unstoppable
killing machine that is Vacuubot.

123
00:09:33,875 --> 00:09:37,375
Unfortunately, you can't stay here though.
The Vacuubot has forwarded

124
00:09:37,458 --> 00:09:41,918
all recorded information about you
to every Vacuubot model in operation,

125
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,040
[upbeat music playing]

126
00:09:43,125 --> 00:09:46,625
all of whom will now hunt you ceaselessly
until your DNA

127
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has been cleansed
from the surface of the planet.

128
00:09:50,125 --> 00:09:53,285
This is your life now, to hide and wander.

129
00:09:53,375 --> 00:09:55,825
Never a moment's rest
in this barren wasteland

130
00:09:55,916 --> 00:09:57,706
that is now your existence.

131
00:09:57,791 --> 00:09:59,791
[car engine revving]

132
00:10:03,041 --> 00:10:06,711
Unless you'd like to purchase a place
on the exclusive Vacuubot

133
00:10:06,791 --> 00:10:08,881
-termination whitelist.
-Go to hell.

134
00:10:12,958 --> 00:10:16,208
For a special introductory rate,
press one.

135
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[theme music playing]