1 00:00:37,005 --> 00:00:38,545 The assholes wouldn't leave. 2 00:00:38,630 --> 00:00:42,840 I had to call the goddamn Sheriff to cart them and their scrawny fucktard kids away. 3 00:00:43,296 --> 00:00:45,756 Ah, crap! Goddammit. 4 00:00:47,255 --> 00:00:48,255 Fuck! 5 00:00:49,088 --> 00:00:50,758 I don't know, a dead possum. 6 00:00:54,380 --> 00:00:56,460 What a shit hole. 7 00:00:57,296 --> 00:01:01,756 Listen, I gotta go. Another day, another eviction. 8 00:01:06,421 --> 00:01:08,091 This dump's my home. 9 00:01:08,671 --> 00:01:10,131 The only one I ever had. 10 00:01:11,463 --> 00:01:13,963 Some people may not think much of it. 11 00:01:14,505 --> 00:01:18,005 But me and my buddy Otto like it here just fine. 12 00:01:22,171 --> 00:01:26,051 And the good book says, "A man's home is his castle 13 00:01:26,130 --> 00:01:31,960 and whosoevereth trespasses shall be struck down with fire and lightning." 14 00:01:32,463 --> 00:01:37,843 And since I ain't got no lightning, I tend just to keep it real simple, like. 15 00:01:40,630 --> 00:01:44,210 I'm about to blow your head off, fat boy. 16 00:01:44,963 --> 00:01:47,173 Mr. Dvorchack, I presume? 17 00:01:48,005 --> 00:01:49,295 City Inspector. 18 00:01:56,130 --> 00:01:59,420 I've been habitating here more than 20-odd years now. 19 00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:06,170 And some new high-falutin' sanitation law don't mean shit to me, Mr. City Inspector. 20 00:02:06,713 --> 00:02:09,263 Oh, but I'm afraid it does mean something 21 00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:11,838 to the owners of the condominiums they're building next door. 22 00:02:11,921 --> 00:02:14,761 So, you see, everything in this dump has got to go, 23 00:02:14,838 --> 00:02:16,668 including you, Mr. Dvorchack. 24 00:02:16,838 --> 00:02:19,078 - If you'll just sign these papers... - Otto! 25 00:02:19,421 --> 00:02:21,091 Otto! C'mere, boy! 26 00:02:23,213 --> 00:02:24,713 Oh, dang critter. 27 00:02:25,005 --> 00:02:27,165 Always scrounging for food. 28 00:02:27,838 --> 00:02:32,258 Yeah, I tell you what... how about we crack a couple of cold beers 29 00:02:32,338 --> 00:02:34,668 while I spin ya a little yarn? 30 00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:37,375 And you still want Otto and me gone when I'm done, 31 00:02:37,463 --> 00:02:41,593 well, I'll sign whatever you want and we clear on out. 32 00:02:42,088 --> 00:02:46,128 - Dang lighter! - I'm a busy man, Mr. Dvorchack. 33 00:02:46,213 --> 00:02:49,423 I don't have time for drunken ramblings and crazy stories. 34 00:02:49,505 --> 00:02:51,045 If we could just move this... 35 00:02:51,130 --> 00:02:53,460 - One night, couple years back... - Fuck me. 36 00:02:53,546 --> 00:02:55,706 ...me and my friend Pearly, we... 37 00:02:55,755 --> 00:02:56,755 Eh? 38 00:03:01,130 --> 00:03:06,340 Me and my friend Pearly were having a drink and conversatin', like. 39 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:09,630 Oh, boy, I tell ya. 40 00:03:10,421 --> 00:03:13,711 Hell, you oughta get up off yer duff and see the world. 41 00:03:14,505 --> 00:03:16,205 Oh, what for? 42 00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:19,206 Everything I need ends up here eventually. 43 00:03:19,296 --> 00:03:21,756 Oh, yeah? What about women? 44 00:03:21,838 --> 00:03:23,958 I don't see no women round here. 45 00:03:24,296 --> 00:03:25,626 Pearly, she's right there. 46 00:03:26,255 --> 00:03:28,705 Oh, sorry. No offense, Betty. 47 00:03:29,796 --> 00:03:31,506 But I am telling you, boy. 48 00:03:31,588 --> 00:03:36,208 Down in Laredo, they got these river trash whores. Oh, boy! 49 00:03:37,380 --> 00:03:40,130 They can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch. 50 00:03:40,296 --> 00:03:41,836 Hey, you hear that? 51 00:03:42,130 --> 00:03:44,920 It's just rats. Tell me about the whores. 52 00:03:45,338 --> 00:03:48,708 Hold your horses a minute. My back teeth are floating. 53 00:03:56,213 --> 00:03:57,923 Come on out, ya little monster. 54 00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:01,260 Yeah, boy. 55 00:04:09,796 --> 00:04:10,796 What? 56 00:04:22,005 --> 00:04:23,335 What in the hell? 57 00:04:34,963 --> 00:04:36,713 Don't shoot the rats! 58 00:04:37,088 --> 00:04:39,458 It's good company. 59 00:04:39,546 --> 00:04:41,626 What in tarnation? 60 00:04:45,588 --> 00:04:47,758 We gotta get the hell outta Dodge! 61 00:04:47,838 --> 00:04:50,048 - There's something out there? - What the hell is it? 62 00:04:51,380 --> 00:04:52,380 It's coming. 63 00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:57,256 What is it? 64 00:04:57,338 --> 00:05:00,338 Damned if I know! It's eyes everywhere! 65 00:05:00,588 --> 00:05:03,258 All manner of crap stickin' out of it. 66 00:05:03,796 --> 00:05:05,256 It's all shiny and wet. 67 00:05:14,380 --> 00:05:16,090 My balls! 68 00:05:18,755 --> 00:05:20,665 Aargh! Help me! 69 00:05:23,380 --> 00:05:24,550 I don't wanna go! 70 00:05:24,630 --> 00:05:26,010 Let go, Pearly! 71 00:05:26,671 --> 00:05:28,131 I can't shoot! 72 00:05:35,255 --> 00:05:36,255 Pearly! 73 00:05:56,171 --> 00:05:58,381 Give my friend back, motherfucker! 74 00:06:01,296 --> 00:06:03,296 I'ma get you, you son of a bitch. 75 00:06:44,130 --> 00:06:45,420 Die! 76 00:06:51,463 --> 00:06:52,713 What in the shit? 77 00:07:11,296 --> 00:07:13,086 Now fuck me ragged. 78 00:07:13,171 --> 00:07:14,511 A puppy. 79 00:07:19,963 --> 00:07:23,053 And that's when a big old light bulb went off in my head. 80 00:07:23,546 --> 00:07:28,296 This here monster wasn't just created by all the heat and garbage. 81 00:07:28,380 --> 00:07:29,760 It lived off it. 82 00:07:30,838 --> 00:07:34,878 And whatever it ate became a part of it. 83 00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:45,166 They're gonna love this one back at the office. 84 00:07:45,963 --> 00:07:47,053 Sorry. 85 00:07:47,505 --> 00:07:49,585 So, you were saying about Curly? 86 00:07:50,338 --> 00:07:52,628 His name was Pearly. 87 00:07:53,713 --> 00:07:54,763 Right. 88 00:07:54,838 --> 00:07:58,798 And it's an absolutely riveting tale, Mr. Dvorchack, 89 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:03,130 but I can actually feel myself getting septic shock sitting here. 90 00:08:03,213 --> 00:08:06,263 So, if you'll just make a big X on those papers, 91 00:08:06,338 --> 00:08:08,588 I can finally get out of this shit hole. 92 00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:11,630 Otto! There you are, boy! 93 00:08:19,755 --> 00:08:21,505 What? 94 00:08:21,921 --> 00:08:22,921 No! 95 00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:25,756 No! 96 00:08:26,796 --> 00:08:28,506 Mr. Dvorchack! 97 00:08:38,630 --> 00:08:40,590 Yep. The way I see it... 98 00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:46,415 you hang around a dump long enough and the world comes to you. 99 00:08:47,171 --> 00:08:48,211 Ain't that right, Otto? 100 00:08:58,005 --> 00:09:00,125 Here, boy! 101 00:09:00,671 --> 00:09:01,801 Attaboy! 102 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:04,510 Yes, sir, the dump's my home. 103 00:09:05,034 --> 00:09:07,534 Best damn home I ever had.