1
00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:03,963
Have it! Smash it, babe! Six. Woo!
2
00:00:03,963 --> 00:00:07,563
Go on. Think of that suit, darl.
Shah!
3
00:00:07,563 --> 00:00:09,483
Burn!
4
00:00:09,483 --> 00:00:12,363
Oh! That's right.
5
00:00:12,363 --> 00:00:14,083
Nine, OK.
6
00:00:14,083 --> 00:00:17,523
Ten. Well done. Well done.
Ah! Babe. Yeah, darling?
7
00:00:17,523 --> 00:00:20,563
Can I tell you something, but you
promise you can't go garrity?
8
00:00:20,563 --> 00:00:22,563
What, is it?
Oh, my God, what is happening?
9
00:00:22,563 --> 00:00:24,763
Is it Teddy, baby,
is this why you're holding me down?
10
00:00:24,763 --> 00:00:27,843
I'm not holding you down, babe.
Feels like you are holding me down
right now.
11
00:00:27,843 --> 00:00:30,403
Definitely not holding you down,
babe. Listen to me, listen.
12
00:00:30,403 --> 00:00:32,083
I can tell you
I'm starting to get proper
13
00:00:32,083 --> 00:00:35,043
Aggro Santos about this wedding, all
right, you know, what with Chloe not
14
00:00:35,043 --> 00:00:37,723
being the wedding planner any more.
I can see you're getting
15
00:00:37,723 --> 00:00:40,083
your heart palpitations,
your tight chest.
16
00:00:40,083 --> 00:00:42,443
Just tell me,
just, just tell me quick.
17
00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:44,563
Kay's stepping in as
the new wedding planner.
18
00:00:44,563 --> 00:00:47,763
No, she isn't!
No way, that is not happening.
19
00:00:51,803 --> 00:00:55,563
No way, no way to Kay,
she ain't though, she is not though.
20
00:00:55,563 --> 00:00:57,203
Oh, she is though, Gary,
21
00:00:57,203 --> 00:00:59,523
and do not go to war with me
in the middle of The Dave, Gal.
22
00:00:59,523 --> 00:01:01,643
Oh, we're at war,
this is the middle of the...
23
00:01:01,643 --> 00:01:02,883
Hold up, hold up.
24
00:01:02,883 --> 00:01:05,603
Is that why she's changed the name
of the wedding WhatsApp group
25
00:01:05,603 --> 00:01:07,163
to Party People?
26
00:01:07,163 --> 00:01:08,963
I mean, Party People?
This is my wedding!
27
00:01:08,963 --> 00:01:10,443
Oh-ho, it's your wedding, is it now?
28
00:01:10,443 --> 00:01:12,923
Well, you should have thought
about that before organising
29
00:01:12,923 --> 00:01:14,723
the sten do the night
before the wedding.
30
00:01:14,723 --> 00:01:17,843
It's in keeping with the old school
traditional theme what we're
31
00:01:17,843 --> 00:01:19,763
going for.
Plus, it's cost-effective,
32
00:01:19,763 --> 00:01:22,643
and I'm the only one who's thinking
about expenditure cos you're
33
00:01:22,643 --> 00:01:25,523
just rinsing it, darling, flopping
out the wedge. Here it goes, money,
34
00:01:25,523 --> 00:01:28,443
money, money. Terri don't worry
about it - where's that money going?
35
00:01:28,443 --> 00:01:30,563
I don't care!
Whoa! What is that supposed to mean?
36
00:01:30,563 --> 00:01:33,243
I'm just saying there's been
a lot of events. Has there?
37
00:01:33,243 --> 00:01:35,483
You've had your bottomless
garage brunch,
38
00:01:35,483 --> 00:01:38,043
you've had your afternoon tea
at Claridge's. So?
39
00:01:38,043 --> 00:01:40,523
Now tomorrow, you've got
another big lunch up west.
40
00:01:40,523 --> 00:01:42,483
I mean, come on!
41
00:01:42,483 --> 00:01:44,283
Well, it's Kay's
official first event,
42
00:01:44,283 --> 00:01:46,563
the change of the guard,
you've got your boy's one.
43
00:01:46,563 --> 00:01:48,723
It's a suit-fitting!
It's a suit-fitting.
44
00:01:48,723 --> 00:01:50,643
Honestly, rein your mates in.
45
00:01:50,643 --> 00:01:53,083
My mates? What about your
mates on that group, Gary?
46
00:01:53,083 --> 00:01:55,403
Have you seen the filth Martin's
been putting out there?
47
00:01:55,403 --> 00:01:57,283
I mean, it's making me
feel utterly bilious.
48
00:01:57,283 --> 00:02:00,683
Martin ain't my mate,
he's your mum's boyfriend.
He's part of the groom party, babe.
49
00:02:00,683 --> 00:02:03,403
Because he begged to be because he's
never been to a wedding before.
50
00:02:03,403 --> 00:02:07,243
We knew the WhatsApp group would be
a political mind-field,
51
00:02:07,243 --> 00:02:09,323
and now Kay's in charge.
52
00:02:09,323 --> 00:02:11,203
Hm, what could go wrong?
53
00:02:11,203 --> 00:02:13,243
Oh, do not take
that tone with me, Tony.
54
00:02:13,243 --> 00:02:16,003
Tony, what are you going
on about Tony? Not at all, mate.
55
00:02:16,003 --> 00:02:18,003
Hold on a minute,
sorry, can you hear that music?
56
00:02:18,003 --> 00:02:19,843
Can't hear a thing.
It's Toni Braxton.
57
00:02:19,843 --> 00:02:21,643
Oh, very funny, very funny,
honestly,
58
00:02:21,643 --> 00:02:24,323
I'm just worried about our wedding.
So I'm sorry.
59
00:02:24,323 --> 00:02:27,123
Oh, what are you worried about?
Cry me another river, Tony Bennett.
60
00:02:27,123 --> 00:02:30,523
Rich, why don't you shut your face?
Honestly, Tel, shut up, serious.
61
00:02:30,523 --> 00:02:32,923
Ooh, shut up now? Why you being
so defensive, Tony Adams?
62
00:02:32,923 --> 00:02:36,123
Stop calling me different Tonys,
stop it now!
63
00:02:36,123 --> 00:02:39,163
I'm going to walk away cos I don't
want this to evolve any more
than it has to.
64
00:02:39,163 --> 00:02:41,723
Oh, it's evolved, Gary,
it's evolving,
65
00:02:41,723 --> 00:02:44,763
you just sped up the evolvalation
process, so good one.
66
00:02:44,763 --> 00:02:49,483
Oh, go on, yeah, yeah, go on,
ooh, you're hard, yeah, go on.
67
00:02:49,483 --> 00:02:52,243
Go on, I can do it all day, mate,
boom, there we go,
68
00:02:52,243 --> 00:02:53,723
there's another for you.
69
00:02:53,723 --> 00:02:56,803
You're a big baby, Gary,
with your big baby balls.
70
00:02:56,803 --> 00:02:58,443
Yeah, wreck the joint!
71
00:03:12,043 --> 00:03:13,323
Uh!
72
00:03:20,723 --> 00:03:23,123
DISTANT ANIMALISTIC SQUEALS
73
00:03:28,203 --> 00:03:31,563
Fo... That is foxes,
stupid horny foxes.
74
00:03:32,923 --> 00:03:34,523
I'm going to give them what for.
75
00:03:37,923 --> 00:03:40,043
ANIMALISTIC SQUEALS
76
00:03:45,243 --> 00:03:47,483
Oh, babe, babe, baby.
77
00:03:47,483 --> 00:03:49,763
It's Aaron!
Aaron's bonking out there.
78
00:03:51,163 --> 00:03:53,243
He is bonking in his garden!
79
00:03:55,163 --> 00:03:57,083
TO HIMSELF:
What are you playing at?
80
00:04:00,043 --> 00:04:03,403
Dirty, horrible bonker.
Dirty, filthy bonker.
81
00:04:11,843 --> 00:04:14,243
Oh, I'm going to turn my back.
82
00:04:14,243 --> 00:04:17,003
So you know, I'll turn my back.
83
00:04:17,003 --> 00:04:18,323
Ah!
84
00:04:23,563 --> 00:04:27,763
I don't even want cover,
so you have it, I like to be cold.
85
00:04:27,763 --> 00:04:30,243
I'm hot anyway. So I'm hot.
86
00:04:30,243 --> 00:04:33,323
Actually done me a favour,
thank you for letting me cool down.
87
00:04:34,843 --> 00:04:38,163
MOANING AND GROANING INTENSIFIES
88
00:04:42,083 --> 00:04:45,963
Right, listen, you take care, yeah?
Be safe, be safe, yeah?
89
00:04:49,243 --> 00:04:50,643
What's that? New girlfriend?
90
00:04:50,643 --> 00:04:53,403
Why? You taking notes?
91
00:04:53,403 --> 00:04:55,483
No notes, mate, just happy for you.
92
00:04:55,483 --> 00:04:58,283
I see you having a little
sneaky peak last night.
93
00:04:58,283 --> 00:05:01,043
Is that cos you ain't
getting your end away?
94
00:05:01,043 --> 00:05:04,243
SCOFFS COMICALLY
Sneaky peak, mate? Me? Nah. Nah.
95
00:05:04,243 --> 00:05:06,683
And let me tell you, I'm still
very much getting my end away.
96
00:05:06,683 --> 00:05:08,923
Really? Yeah, really.
97
00:05:08,923 --> 00:05:12,283
Anyone can rock up and
put in a shift here and there,
98
00:05:12,283 --> 00:05:14,923
for the odd game or two,
score a couple of goals.
99
00:05:14,923 --> 00:05:19,283
You try staying with
the same club year upon year
100
00:05:19,283 --> 00:05:21,843
and consistently performing.
101
00:05:21,843 --> 00:05:24,563
Gary Neville, mate, that's who
I am when it comes to the sex.
102
00:05:24,563 --> 00:05:29,803
I'm Gary Neville. Reliable,
no frills, just dependable.
103
00:05:29,803 --> 00:05:31,723
Gary Neville?
Yeah, Gary Neville, mate.
104
00:05:31,723 --> 00:05:33,403
FOOTSTEPS APPROACH
105
00:05:31,723 --> 00:05:33,403
Hello, darling.
106
00:05:33,403 --> 00:05:35,043
You all right, b... Babe?
107
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:37,483
Don't know if you saw, I just did
the bins, done the bins.
108
00:05:37,483 --> 00:05:40,043
Ooey! Trouble in paradise?
109
00:05:40,043 --> 00:05:44,003
Trouble in nowhere - paradise in
paradise if anything, so...
110
00:05:44,003 --> 00:05:46,963
Actually, I'm glad that
I've seen you here,
111
00:05:46,963 --> 00:05:50,323
cos I wanted to say, um,
I've been talking to the
112
00:05:50,323 --> 00:05:53,683
neighbours, mate, and this is -
you've got to stop the parties.
113
00:05:53,683 --> 00:05:55,563
HE ROLLS HIS LIPS
114
00:05:55,563 --> 00:05:57,683
I'm having another one
tonight, as it goes.
115
00:05:57,683 --> 00:06:01,843
No, honestly, Aaron, no way,
no way. I'm going to have to say no.
116
00:06:01,843 --> 00:06:05,123
Look, what I'm going to say is join
the Crescent Facebook group
117
00:06:05,123 --> 00:06:07,843
and just see how it's
affecting people's lives.
118
00:06:07,843 --> 00:06:10,283
I ain't joining
the Facebook group, Gary.
119
00:06:10,283 --> 00:06:13,443
If anyone's got a problem with me,
they can come and talk with me.
120
00:06:14,723 --> 00:06:16,843
OK. I get it.
121
00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:20,283
Not everyone has got Facebook
but seriously, Aaron, mate,
122
00:06:20,283 --> 00:06:23,603
seriously, Aaron, mate,
seriously, mate.
123
00:06:23,603 --> 00:06:26,043
Friends and neighbours,
124
00:06:26,043 --> 00:06:29,003
I want to assure you,
as your crescent warden,
125
00:06:29,003 --> 00:06:32,563
I have noticed
the chatter that's happening
126
00:06:32,563 --> 00:06:35,083
on WhatsApp and
the Facebook groups. Now...
127
00:06:35,083 --> 00:06:37,603
You spoken to him yet?
Yeah, I was just getting to that.
128
00:06:37,603 --> 00:06:41,683
I talked to Aaron this morning
on the drive and we talked, right...
129
00:06:41,683 --> 00:06:44,763
I mean spoken to him,
opened your mouth, words come out,
130
00:06:44,763 --> 00:06:46,163
let him know the apple core.
131
00:06:46,163 --> 00:06:48,443
He knows, mate, he knows,
I very much let him know,
132
00:06:48,443 --> 00:06:51,083
I was, like, "Mate, if you think
this is going to happen for much
133
00:06:51,083 --> 00:06:53,203
"longer, you've got
another thing coming..."
134
00:06:53,203 --> 00:06:55,403
Great, great, so no more
loud late-night parties.
135
00:06:55,403 --> 00:06:59,483
Mm-hm, mm-hm, probably not,
probably maybe not, probably not.
136
00:06:59,483 --> 00:07:02,003
What? Come on,
he's running riot over you.
137
00:07:02,003 --> 00:07:04,243
When I handed down
the stewardship of this
138
00:07:04,243 --> 00:07:06,283
crescent to you,
I thought you was ready.
139
00:07:06,283 --> 00:07:07,843
I was born ready.
140
00:07:07,843 --> 00:07:09,523
Born ready.
141
00:07:09,523 --> 00:07:11,443
I have never let down
the kin of my...
142
00:07:11,443 --> 00:07:12,963
Because you ain't been tested.
143
00:07:12,963 --> 00:07:14,683
Look, people are unhappy, boy.
144
00:07:14,683 --> 00:07:16,283
From down there in the circle
145
00:07:16,283 --> 00:07:19,483
to as far as the eye can see,
there's rumblings.
146
00:07:19,483 --> 00:07:21,923
Well, that is why... Dissent.
And that is why...
147
00:07:21,923 --> 00:07:27,123
Unrest. That's why I am
taking drastic action.
148
00:07:27,123 --> 00:07:31,563
I am putting together
a list of people's grievances
149
00:07:31,563 --> 00:07:33,563
and I am going to take
that to the council office.
150
00:07:33,563 --> 00:07:36,923
A list? Lists are for mugs
and supermarkets.
151
00:07:36,923 --> 00:07:40,283
He needs to go, there's no
reasoning with people like that.
152
00:07:40,283 --> 00:07:42,363
Firm action must be taken.
153
00:07:42,363 --> 00:07:45,323
Yes! Father, please,
just let me do this my way.
154
00:07:45,323 --> 00:07:48,043
OK, please, I beg of you.
155
00:07:48,043 --> 00:07:50,523
Yes, Robin Tuckett,
take the floor, mate, come on.
156
00:07:50,523 --> 00:07:54,403
Him and his cohorts are always out
the front, smoking, shouting,
157
00:07:54,403 --> 00:07:57,763
horns beeping. I was literally
hopping mad the other night.
158
00:07:57,763 --> 00:08:00,643
He was in our back garden
hopping and screaming.
159
00:08:00,643 --> 00:08:03,483
Yes, I was. Oh, look, it's quite
simple, send the boys round,
160
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:06,443
smash his motor to pieces,
take the man's heart out.
161
00:08:06,443 --> 00:08:08,803
Nah, nah, nah,
no to that, that is vandalling.
162
00:08:08,803 --> 00:08:10,523
Have you seen Annie's wrist, Gary?
163
00:08:10,523 --> 00:08:12,963
She has taken a seriously
bad fall, look at this.
164
00:08:12,963 --> 00:08:15,483
It's, it's nothing, honestly.
It's not nothing,
165
00:08:15,483 --> 00:08:18,043
she was knocked off her bike
by a dangerously parked car.
166
00:08:18,043 --> 00:08:19,643
It's just a sprain.
167
00:08:19,643 --> 00:08:22,803
A grade-two sprain,
the ligament is completely twisted.
168
00:08:22,803 --> 00:08:25,443
I should have spotted it,
but it just jumped right at me.
169
00:08:25,443 --> 00:08:28,283
Don't blame yourself, you can't
move for aggressively parked cars
170
00:08:28,283 --> 00:08:30,123
since this Aaron moved in!
171
00:08:30,123 --> 00:08:32,323
This is all great stuff
for the list, thank you, Robin,
172
00:08:32,323 --> 00:08:35,203
this is going to be... Come on, he's
nearly maimed one of our own here.
173
00:08:35,203 --> 00:08:36,643
Well, it's just a sprain.
174
00:08:36,643 --> 00:08:39,643
Are you even listening to me, Gary?
A grade-two sprain! Grade two!
175
00:08:39,643 --> 00:08:43,323
Robin, Robin, I am listening, mate,
with my heart and my ears
176
00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:46,963
but I am trying to be
diplomacy here.
177
00:08:46,963 --> 00:08:48,923
Everyone should write a letter.
178
00:08:48,923 --> 00:08:52,443
Oh! Letters? What is it, 1954?
179
00:08:52,443 --> 00:08:55,883
What you don't know, mate, what
no-one here knows is if the council
180
00:08:55,883 --> 00:08:59,043
gets more than seven letters about
the same problem, they will act.
181
00:08:59,043 --> 00:09:00,243
Yes, Mum, please?
182
00:09:00,243 --> 00:09:03,083
Can we talk about this
filth that Martin is
183
00:09:03,083 --> 00:09:05,243
sharing on the WhatsApp group?
Mum, that is...
184
00:09:05,243 --> 00:09:07,803
Sherilee and Ian are on there
and they're in their 70s.
185
00:09:07,803 --> 00:09:09,003
That is not the concern...
186
00:09:09,003 --> 00:09:12,123
No, it is vile, it's always the same
man looking very pleased with
187
00:09:12,123 --> 00:09:14,403
himself with his big
Bob Watson hanging out.
188
00:09:14,403 --> 00:09:16,603
Yes, Mum, I know it's
very upsetting for you
189
00:09:16,603 --> 00:09:18,483
but this is a whole
different scenario.
190
00:09:18,483 --> 00:09:20,123
I don't think she understands...
191
00:09:20,123 --> 00:09:22,403
This is about the Crescent
and about Aaron, please.
192
00:09:22,403 --> 00:09:25,083
Anne, darling, yes, please,
is it about Aaron? It is.
193
00:09:26,363 --> 00:09:29,883
He yelled at poor
Jed Johns last week.
194
00:09:29,883 --> 00:09:33,243
Oh. OK, Jed Johns isn't here, is
he?
195
00:09:33,243 --> 00:09:35,603
He's had a heart attack, Gary.
Oh, my God.
196
00:09:35,603 --> 00:09:37,003
That's where he is.
197
00:09:37,003 --> 00:09:39,523
What, a heart attack because
of Aaron? Well, that's murder!
198
00:09:39,523 --> 00:09:42,843
Murderer! I don't know
if it's because of Aaron.
199
00:09:42,843 --> 00:09:45,403
But more about the heart attack
there, Anne,
200
00:09:45,403 --> 00:09:47,403
just to sort of like
check back a little bit.
201
00:09:47,403 --> 00:09:49,923
So Jed Johns was what,
in his late 30s, early 40s?
202
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,603
Um, late 30s, 38.
203
00:09:51,603 --> 00:09:53,883
So, jeez, 38, I'm 39.
204
00:09:53,883 --> 00:09:56,803
I mean, the heart attack did happen
a few days after the altercation
205
00:09:56,803 --> 00:09:58,203
with Aaron.
206
00:09:58,203 --> 00:10:01,123
Look, he's maimed Anne,
he's nearly killed Jed Johns,
207
00:10:01,123 --> 00:10:02,723
the parties are endless,
208
00:10:02,723 --> 00:10:05,563
the cat's having a 24-hour
shitathon in our garden.
209
00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:08,603
This is not a time for
letters or civil lists.
210
00:10:08,603 --> 00:10:11,323
You want to put the burners on,
liven yourself up
211
00:10:11,323 --> 00:10:13,163
and get him off the Crescent now!
212
00:10:13,163 --> 00:10:15,403
Yes!
APPLAUSE FADES OUT
213
00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:22,403
Cheers, my darlings.
214
00:10:22,403 --> 00:10:23,843
It's exciting.
215
00:10:26,443 --> 00:10:29,923
Tel, what's going on, girl?
216
00:10:29,923 --> 00:10:33,083
You've not been yourself within
yourself, I know that face.
217
00:10:35,203 --> 00:10:38,043
It's Gary, I'm...
I'm not talking to him.
218
00:10:38,043 --> 00:10:40,283
Oh, no. How bad is it?
219
00:10:40,283 --> 00:10:43,003
Oh, I've gone fully dark.
220
00:10:43,003 --> 00:10:45,683
Oh, God. Big tings though?
221
00:10:45,683 --> 00:10:47,883
Big tings. Yeah.
222
00:10:47,883 --> 00:10:50,603
We had a massive barney
down the Dave about the wedding.
223
00:10:50,603 --> 00:10:53,243
Oh, you still a member, Terri?
I never see you down there.
224
00:10:53,243 --> 00:10:54,483
So what was it about, babe?
225
00:10:54,483 --> 00:10:57,003
Oh, nothing, just,
you know, wedding stuff,
226
00:10:57,003 --> 00:10:59,563
Gary getting his knickers all
bunched up his walnut about it.
227
00:10:59,563 --> 00:11:02,243
I'm actually going to get my hair
done different for the wedding.
228
00:11:02,243 --> 00:11:04,843
So what stage you at, then,
with the fully dark? Stage two.
229
00:11:04,843 --> 00:11:06,843
I'm going to go
really, really mega short with it
230
00:11:06,843 --> 00:11:09,523
like a pixie cut, so you can, like,
really see my face properly.
231
00:11:09,523 --> 00:11:11,283
Completed the silent treatment.
232
00:11:11,283 --> 00:11:15,003
Now I'm moving smoothly into the
second phase and, oosh, guess what?
233
00:11:15,003 --> 00:11:19,603
Gary's already crumbled,
asking where am I and am I OK?
234
00:11:19,603 --> 00:11:22,763
So now I just hit back
with the dot dot dots.
235
00:11:22,763 --> 00:11:24,203
Oh, the dot dot dot.
236
00:11:24,203 --> 00:11:25,683
What's a dot dot dot?
237
00:11:25,683 --> 00:11:27,563
Yeah, see, I go to reply
to the message,
238
00:11:27,563 --> 00:11:29,243
Gary can see the dot dot dots,
239
00:11:29,243 --> 00:11:33,003
he's thinking, "Ah, Terri's
replying, what's she going to say?
240
00:11:33,003 --> 00:11:37,243
"What's she going to say?"
Nothing, nitto, back to dark.
241
00:11:37,243 --> 00:11:39,243
Oh, to dark!
242
00:11:39,243 --> 00:11:40,723
Savage.
243
00:11:40,723 --> 00:11:42,523
So savage, yeah.
244
00:11:42,523 --> 00:11:44,003
Shall we get a cocktail, then?
245
00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:46,443
Stage three will be to
eventually answer the question,
246
00:11:46,443 --> 00:11:48,843
but not answer the question,
with, like, a really confusing
247
00:11:48,843 --> 00:11:51,283
cryptic message that will get
right into his bonce,
248
00:11:51,283 --> 00:11:55,123
something like
"Oh, you know what you've done."
249
00:11:55,123 --> 00:11:57,803
Just cos the wine's not
very good for my tummy,
250
00:11:57,803 --> 00:11:59,283
it sort of gives me IBS.
251
00:11:59,283 --> 00:12:02,603
Stage four, turn off my phone,
stage five, another cryptic message,
252
00:12:02,603 --> 00:12:05,923
but this time I send the worst
emoji of all the emojis.
253
00:12:05,923 --> 00:12:07,603
Oh, go on. The thumbs up.
254
00:12:07,603 --> 00:12:10,283
I mean, no woman worth her salt
ever uses the thumbs up,
255
00:12:10,283 --> 00:12:11,643
do you know what I mean?
256
00:12:11,643 --> 00:12:13,643
I always send you
the thumbs up though, don't I?
257
00:12:13,643 --> 00:12:16,003
Well, either that or you
could go sarcastic heart.
258
00:12:16,003 --> 00:12:18,803
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah,
stick to what I know, babe,
259
00:12:18,803 --> 00:12:20,643
it sends out a powerful message -
260
00:12:20,643 --> 00:12:22,843
we are still friends,
but nothing more.
261
00:12:24,643 --> 00:12:27,243
For now anyway, I mean,
I love him to pieces really.
262
00:12:27,243 --> 00:12:28,563
Do you know what I mean?
263
00:12:28,563 --> 00:12:30,603
DIAL TONE
264
00:12:28,563 --> 00:12:30,603
Pick up, bubba, pick up.
265
00:12:30,603 --> 00:12:32,363
I need you, baby girl, I need you.
266
00:12:32,363 --> 00:12:34,923
Stuart! Stuart Williams.
267
00:12:34,923 --> 00:12:37,363
Where were you for the big
Crescent meeting today, mate?
268
00:12:37,363 --> 00:12:38,843
Erm, I was working.
269
00:12:38,843 --> 00:12:41,083
I tell you something, mate,
you, you need to
270
00:12:41,083 --> 00:12:43,603
go on the record about what happened
with your recycling bin.
271
00:12:43,603 --> 00:12:46,523
Oh, do you know what, Gary? I'm
happy enough to stay out of it now,
272
00:12:46,523 --> 00:12:47,923
it'll sort itself out.
273
00:12:47,923 --> 00:12:51,363
Evil thrives
when good men do nothing,
274
00:12:51,363 --> 00:12:53,243
and we're the good men here.
275
00:12:53,243 --> 00:12:55,523
I'm under the cosh, Stu,
I'm under the cosh, mate.
276
00:12:55,523 --> 00:12:59,083
I had the mother of all
arguments with my Terri.
277
00:12:59,083 --> 00:13:02,603
Honestly, mate, I don't know
what to do, I'm beside myself.
278
00:13:02,603 --> 00:13:05,923
She's ignoring me, blanking
all my calls, blanking my texts.
279
00:13:05,923 --> 00:13:08,243
It's the longest I've ever
gone in my life
280
00:13:08,243 --> 00:13:10,963
without speaking to her, mate.
I feel like I am living your life.
281
00:13:10,963 --> 00:13:12,723
Well, when did
you have this argument?
282
00:13:12,723 --> 00:13:15,843
Last night. Right, so you've not
spoken for an entire morning?
283
00:13:15,843 --> 00:13:17,923
It's not quite the same,
is it, Gary?
284
00:13:17,923 --> 00:13:19,443
It's exactly the same!
285
00:13:19,443 --> 00:13:21,563
Shall we look at our
relative situations?
286
00:13:21,563 --> 00:13:23,963
Cos your situation is
you've had a minor
287
00:13:23,963 --> 00:13:27,043
disagreement during preparation for
your wedding, whereas my situation
288
00:13:27,043 --> 00:13:29,843
is if I want to see my kids, I've
got to speak to a lawyer first.
289
00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:32,803
So it's pretty much exactly
the same is what I'm saying, mate.
290
00:13:32,803 --> 00:13:34,603
Honestly.
291
00:13:34,603 --> 00:13:37,763
Look, this is a text what she said,
just read that for me, please.
292
00:13:39,043 --> 00:13:40,763
"You now what you've done"?
293
00:13:41,883 --> 00:13:43,083
Does she mean "know"?
294
00:13:43,083 --> 00:13:45,923
Yeah. I think that, yeah,
that does make more sense.
295
00:13:45,923 --> 00:13:48,003
Yeah. Well, what have you done?
296
00:13:48,003 --> 00:13:50,403
Last night, she turned round,
297
00:13:50,403 --> 00:13:52,803
she said she wanted Kay to be
the wedding planner,
298
00:13:52,803 --> 00:13:54,363
and I'm like, "No way, mate!"
299
00:13:54,363 --> 00:13:56,283
Do you actually call her mate?
300
00:13:56,283 --> 00:13:58,603
Yeah, because she is
my best mate of all time
301
00:13:58,603 --> 00:14:00,483
and my most exquisite lover of sex.
302
00:14:00,483 --> 00:14:02,123
OK, well, that's disgusting,
303
00:14:02,123 --> 00:14:04,203
but she is clearly
talking about this argument?
304
00:14:04,203 --> 00:14:06,603
Honestly, I knew that you'd
understand of all the people
305
00:14:06,603 --> 00:14:08,963
I knew in my life cos you are, like,
the captain of sadness.
306
00:14:08,963 --> 00:14:11,283
OK, I don't want to be known as
the captain of sadness...
307
00:14:11,283 --> 00:14:13,323
You are, mate,
you are like Professor Sad.
308
00:14:13,323 --> 00:14:15,523
I'm...I don't want to be
known as Professor Sad.
309
00:14:15,523 --> 00:14:17,523
Thank you for being
so sad and giving me
310
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,763
the wisdom of your sadness.
That's not wisdom.
311
00:14:19,763 --> 00:14:22,403
Of everyone I know, you have the
most experience with people not
312
00:14:22,403 --> 00:14:25,123
loving you. Well, that's incredibly
hurtful, Gary, thank you.
313
00:14:25,123 --> 00:14:26,723
And I also need to ask
you something.
314
00:14:26,723 --> 00:14:30,363
Sure, I mean, after that
absolute volley of insults,
what can I do for you?
315
00:14:30,363 --> 00:14:31,963
If this thing kicks off with Aaron,
316
00:14:31,963 --> 00:14:34,203
I need to know that you
have my back.
317
00:14:34,203 --> 00:14:36,843
Well, as a last resort, I will...
318
00:14:36,843 --> 00:14:38,523
I tell you what,
I'll think about it.
319
00:14:38,523 --> 00:14:40,363
Do you mean that? A million
percent?
320
00:14:40,363 --> 00:14:42,483
A million percent? There's no such
thing as a million percent.
321
00:14:42,483 --> 00:14:46,043
Just do it, please, mate.
I need you, Stu.
322
00:14:46,043 --> 00:14:47,323
I need you. Stu?
323
00:14:47,323 --> 00:14:48,683
If you leave my driveway.
324
00:14:48,683 --> 00:14:50,483
Thank you, OK. Thank you.
325
00:15:02,043 --> 00:15:06,883
Well, thank you, Mr Tailor Man, and
how does one find the measurements?
326
00:15:06,883 --> 00:15:08,763
Are they to your liking, sir?
327
00:15:08,763 --> 00:15:11,763
Tell you what, I feel
like one of the Kingsmen.
328
00:15:11,763 --> 00:15:14,643
Oh, he's a bit keen, isn't he, Gal?
LAUGHS RAUCOUSLY
329
00:15:14,643 --> 00:15:17,123
Naughty, naughty!
Crabbie, mate, please.
330
00:15:17,123 --> 00:15:18,603
What would Tel say? Hah!
331
00:15:18,603 --> 00:15:20,723
Please, please, just show a bit of
decorum, mate,
332
00:15:20,723 --> 00:15:23,443
show a little... Martin, why are you
taking your clothes off, mate?
333
00:15:23,443 --> 00:15:26,243
Oh, I've never had a suit before.
But you don't take your clothes off.
334
00:15:26,243 --> 00:15:27,603
What's this, mate? Is it mohair?
335
00:15:27,603 --> 00:15:31,643
Look with your eyes, mate, not
your fingers, Crabbie, don't touch.
What you got there, Gal? New ink?
336
00:15:31,643 --> 00:15:34,363
Nothing, mate, don't worry about it,
don't worry about it. Show us.
337
00:15:34,363 --> 00:15:36,923
Don't be no shy guy!
338
00:15:34,363 --> 00:15:36,923
GUFFAWS
339
00:15:36,923 --> 00:15:38,803
Just a little something
what I've had done.
340
00:15:38,803 --> 00:15:39,923
Come on, show us.
341
00:15:41,163 --> 00:15:43,043
Who's that? Kurt Cobain?
342
00:15:44,483 --> 00:15:46,083
What? Tiger King.
343
00:15:46,083 --> 00:15:48,003
Nah. Dog the Bounty Hunter.
344
00:15:48,003 --> 00:15:51,483
Look at it, Crabbie, mate,
look...look at it.
345
00:15:51,483 --> 00:15:53,563
Edward Scissorhands. Edward...
346
00:15:53,563 --> 00:15:55,723
What?! Is it Mick Hucknall?
347
00:15:55,723 --> 00:15:57,883
It's Terri, mate, that is clearly...
348
00:15:57,883 --> 00:15:59,363
Look at... Look at it, it's Terri!
349
00:15:59,363 --> 00:16:02,603
Oh. All right, Crab?
All right, mate. All right, boy?
350
00:16:02,603 --> 00:16:03,843
Hello, Crabbie.
351
00:16:03,843 --> 00:16:05,683
Murder trying to find
this gaff, wasn't it?
352
00:16:05,683 --> 00:16:07,803
Martin, mate, pull your trousers up
there, pal.
353
00:16:07,803 --> 00:16:10,603
My mother's here now,
pull your trousers up.
What's that on your arm?
354
00:16:10,603 --> 00:16:13,163
It's the most romantic thing what
someone can do for the person
355
00:16:13,163 --> 00:16:16,123
they love most with all their heart.
What, get a tattoo of Robbie Savage?
356
00:16:16,123 --> 00:16:17,923
Martin, trousers, mate, seriously.
357
00:16:17,923 --> 00:16:19,843
I am not happy with you,
you pervert.
358
00:16:19,843 --> 00:16:21,963
Mum, not in here if you don't
mind, please, not in here.
359
00:16:21,963 --> 00:16:24,763
No, he's got me terrified
to look in my phone, literally.
360
00:16:24,763 --> 00:16:27,163
Every time I get a WhatsApp
from you, I get the fear.
361
00:16:27,163 --> 00:16:28,843
What have I done? The big willy man.
362
00:16:28,843 --> 00:16:31,323
No, Mum, not in here, this is
a respectable establishment,
363
00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:33,723
these are gentlemen.
I am livid here, Gary, I'm livid.
364
00:16:33,723 --> 00:16:36,683
If he comes to the wedding, I'm
telling you now, there'll be uproar!
365
00:16:36,683 --> 00:16:38,403
Oi, mate, can I borrow your khazi?
366
00:16:38,403 --> 00:16:40,723
No, you can't, mate,
you can't, no, Crabbie, seriously.
367
00:16:40,723 --> 00:16:42,763
I said before we came here,
I said go to the toilet.
368
00:16:42,763 --> 00:16:44,163
I'm so sorry, Denise.
369
00:16:44,163 --> 00:16:45,923
I'm not very able with the phones.
370
00:16:45,923 --> 00:16:48,123
It's innocent wrong grouping,
that's all it is, Mum.
371
00:16:48,123 --> 00:16:51,443
Oh, just don't, it's disgusting,
you should be ashamed.
Please forgive me.
372
00:16:51,443 --> 00:16:54,323
You'd genuinely feel more sincere
if you just pulled your trousers up.
373
00:16:54,323 --> 00:16:56,563
Oi, that muppet Aaron is sorted.
374
00:16:56,563 --> 00:16:59,043
Winkle's going to smash
his motor to pieces tonight.
375
00:16:59,043 --> 00:17:01,443
No, he isn't. Yes, he is.
No, he isn't. Yes, he is.
376
00:17:01,443 --> 00:17:02,843
No, he isn't.
377
00:17:02,843 --> 00:17:04,323
No, get out!
378
00:17:04,323 --> 00:17:07,563
Get out now.
Go! Get! Go and wait in the car!
379
00:17:07,563 --> 00:17:10,883
For now, can I just please enjoy
the suit fitting,
380
00:17:10,883 --> 00:17:13,443
which I have been looking
forward to my whole life?
381
00:17:22,403 --> 00:17:25,203
OK, that's it. I'm going to have
to throw him a little lifeline -
382
00:17:25,203 --> 00:17:27,323
just in case there's
an emergency or something.
383
00:17:29,203 --> 00:17:31,763
PHONE VIBRATES
384
00:17:42,123 --> 00:17:46,283
LAUGHTER AND
INDISTINCT CONVERSATION
385
00:17:58,883 --> 00:18:02,003
PHONE RINGS OUT
386
00:18:03,403 --> 00:18:04,923
That's three times.
387
00:18:04,923 --> 00:18:07,603
Three times he ain't answered.
388
00:18:07,603 --> 00:18:10,443
Here, do you reckon he is going
fully dark an' all?
389
00:18:10,443 --> 00:18:13,083
He's probably just got bored
like we have.
390
00:18:13,083 --> 00:18:14,883
Babe, it takes as long as it takes.
391
00:18:14,883 --> 00:18:18,243
Just so you both know, I need a wee.
392
00:18:18,243 --> 00:18:20,683
Oh. Have you got a bottle?
I haven't got a bottle.
393
00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:23,323
Have you got a bottle? I don't
really want to do it in a bottle.
394
00:18:23,323 --> 00:18:25,923
Do you reckon you can get it
in there? Got too much for that.
395
00:18:25,923 --> 00:18:29,683
No! No! No, no, no!
396
00:18:30,803 --> 00:18:33,123
This is not a piddle bus!
397
00:18:34,163 --> 00:18:38,123
This is insane. This has gone
too far. What? Sitting in my car -
pissing in my car!
398
00:18:38,123 --> 00:18:41,283
It's too far, mate!
399
00:18:41,283 --> 00:18:42,763
Right, we are going home.
400
00:18:47,963 --> 00:18:51,483
Hello!
It's me, Mum. Let me in.
401
00:18:51,483 --> 00:18:54,203
No, you're all right.
What do you want?
402
00:18:55,803 --> 00:18:58,963
Gone fully dark, haven't I?
Got nowhere else to go, so...
403
00:19:00,283 --> 00:19:03,523
What stage are you at?
Further than I've never been.
404
00:19:05,403 --> 00:19:07,043
You all right? Yes.
405
00:19:11,403 --> 00:19:13,963
No! Shitting hell!
406
00:19:16,243 --> 00:19:18,523
What's going on?
Look, I've got some...
407
00:19:18,523 --> 00:19:20,603
What?
408
00:19:24,323 --> 00:19:27,483
I've got something
to tell you. All right.
409
00:19:27,483 --> 00:19:30,763
Me and Martin...have finished.
410
00:19:30,763 --> 00:19:34,523
Oh, what's going on? I thought
you was happy. I was!
411
00:19:34,523 --> 00:19:39,363
Like 70% happy.
412
00:19:39,363 --> 00:19:42,043
But I've met someone else. Ah!
413
00:19:42,043 --> 00:19:44,603
Of course you have.
Here we go again.
414
00:19:44,603 --> 00:19:47,243
I mean, honestly, you not getting
a bit old for all this caper?
415
00:19:47,243 --> 00:19:51,723
Well, this is the thing.
This new fella is younger...
416
00:19:53,323 --> 00:19:55,083
..and sexier.
417
00:19:57,723 --> 00:20:00,403
Go on, then, who is it?
418
00:19:57,723 --> 00:20:00,403
SHE SNIGGERS
419
00:20:02,923 --> 00:20:06,043
Why are you acting like a kid?
What is going on?
420
00:20:06,043 --> 00:20:07,643
Oh, my God, it stinks in here, Mum.
421
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:14,163
DISTANT CHEERING
422
00:20:17,603 --> 00:20:20,483
ALL: Whoa!
423
00:20:17,603 --> 00:20:20,483
CHEERING
424
00:20:22,843 --> 00:20:25,243
Hey! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
425
00:20:26,803 --> 00:20:29,123
Sneaky Peeker!
426
00:20:26,803 --> 00:20:29,123
LAUGHTER
427
00:20:32,563 --> 00:20:37,203
What you looking at, guy?
Keep yourself to yourself, mate!
428
00:20:37,203 --> 00:20:41,043
He's having another party, babe.
He's having another party!
429
00:20:41,043 --> 00:20:42,843
And this one is the loudest one yet!
430
00:20:42,843 --> 00:20:47,483
Honestly, babe. Honestly?
I'm bubbling.
431
00:20:47,483 --> 00:20:49,283
I'm bubbling, babe.
432
00:20:49,283 --> 00:20:51,363
I'm about to boil over, darling.
433
00:20:51,363 --> 00:20:54,363
I don't know what to do,
because you're not here.
434
00:20:54,363 --> 00:20:56,803
I need you babe, I need you,
435
00:20:56,803 --> 00:20:59,483
so please, call me.
436
00:20:59,483 --> 00:21:01,003
Love you.
437
00:21:02,483 --> 00:21:04,403
DOORBELL RINGS
438
00:21:06,283 --> 00:21:09,243
You all right, Gary? I've got
a noggin full of problems, mate,
439
00:21:09,243 --> 00:21:12,123
and I don't need you. Do you want
to hear some good news?
440
00:21:12,123 --> 00:21:14,443
What good news?
I've taken a lover.
441
00:21:14,443 --> 00:21:17,163
Really? What kind of bird's going
to be knocking about with you?
442
00:21:17,163 --> 00:21:20,723
I'm now the official boyfriend
of Jodie Simone - Terri's mother.
443
00:21:20,723 --> 00:21:23,723
Nah! No way.
444
00:21:23,723 --> 00:21:27,123
I knew you would do this, mate.
I knew you'd do it. Any way you
445
00:21:27,123 --> 00:21:30,483
could get an invite to the wedding,
you would. You're disgusting!
446
00:21:30,483 --> 00:21:33,403
No, Gal, our love is pure.
447
00:21:33,403 --> 00:21:36,843
I just want this to be a new
start for us...as a family.
448
00:21:36,843 --> 00:21:39,683
You are not my family.
Don't fight it, son.
449
00:21:40,803 --> 00:21:44,763
Stop calling me "son".
You are not my dad. Stepdad.
450
00:21:44,763 --> 00:21:48,603
Let's not put labels on things. I'm
going to do something about this.
451
00:21:50,043 --> 00:21:54,083
Wahey! It's Sneaky Peeker!
What's up?
452
00:21:54,083 --> 00:21:56,203
I wasn't peeking, mate,
I wasn't.
453
00:21:56,203 --> 00:21:58,563
There's a sparrow's nest at the back
of the garden there.
454
00:21:58,563 --> 00:22:01,643
That's what I was looking at.
Is that a tattoo of Meat Loaf
455
00:22:01,643 --> 00:22:04,043
on your arm, Gary?
456
00:22:04,043 --> 00:22:07,203
That is a tattoo of my beloved,
Terri, and it is not for your
457
00:22:07,203 --> 00:22:10,323
eyes, so look away. None of you
look at it. It's not for your eyes.
458
00:22:10,323 --> 00:22:12,323
I'm glad that you've
heeded my warning
459
00:22:12,323 --> 00:22:15,563
and you've taking your partying ways
away from this crescent.
460
00:22:15,563 --> 00:22:19,723
What? Not that it's any of
your business, Gary, yeah?
461
00:22:19,723 --> 00:22:21,923
But we'll be back here for afters.
462
00:22:21,923 --> 00:22:24,483
But there's an agreement here
on Butterchurn Crescent -
463
00:22:24,483 --> 00:22:27,523
an amnesty, if you will.
There are no after-parties.
464
00:22:27,523 --> 00:22:30,603
What, an amnesty, yeah?
Really, Gary?
465
00:22:32,403 --> 00:22:34,563
Why do you keep saying my name
like it's funny?
466
00:22:34,563 --> 00:22:37,083
It's a normal name, mate.
I'm just trying to warn you.
467
00:22:37,083 --> 00:22:38,923
What, are you threatening me?
468
00:22:41,003 --> 00:22:42,323
Nah.
469
00:22:42,323 --> 00:22:45,963
Nah, mate, I'm not
threatening you, mate.
470
00:22:45,963 --> 00:22:50,803
This is just a warning that comes
before the actual threat, OK?
471
00:22:50,803 --> 00:22:52,963
That's what people
who are threatening say.
472
00:22:52,963 --> 00:22:54,323
No, no, this is like...
473
00:22:54,323 --> 00:22:57,363
So there's a warning that comes
before the threat and that's what
474
00:22:57,363 --> 00:23:00,323
I'm doing to you, mate. So this
is a friendly warning, if anything.
475
00:23:00,323 --> 00:23:02,923
Well, shouldn't the friendly warning
come before the official
476
00:23:02,923 --> 00:23:06,483
warning and then the threat?
I don't... Honestly, I don't know.
477
00:23:06,483 --> 00:23:09,123
All I'm saying to you, mate,
is just please don't bring your
478
00:23:09,123 --> 00:23:12,523
after-party back here. Please, mate.
479
00:23:12,523 --> 00:23:13,883
Nah, mate!
480
00:23:13,883 --> 00:23:17,443
We make this! Ah, let's go!
481
00:23:17,443 --> 00:23:19,803
My guys!
482
00:23:19,803 --> 00:23:21,363
Eh! Too much!
483
00:23:21,363 --> 00:23:24,163
Do you want a hand, son? Nah.
484
00:23:24,163 --> 00:23:25,923
Nah, I got this, Winkle.
485
00:23:37,243 --> 00:23:40,203
MUSIC: Bucky Done Gun by MIA
486
00:23:40,203 --> 00:23:42,243
# They're coming through the window
487
00:23:42,243 --> 00:23:44,043
# They're coming through the door
488
00:23:44,043 --> 00:23:46,043
# They're busting down the big wall
489
00:23:46,043 --> 00:23:48,203
# And sounding the horn
490
00:23:48,203 --> 00:23:50,203
# We want the bucky done gun
491
00:23:50,203 --> 00:23:52,003
# We want that fire done burn
492
00:23:52,003 --> 00:23:53,963
# We want the bucky done gun
493
00:23:53,963 --> 00:23:55,963
# Get crackin'
Get, get crackin'
494
00:23:55,963 --> 00:23:57,763
# We want the bucky done gun
495
00:23:57,763 --> 00:24:01,083
# We want that fire done burn
We want the bucky done gun
496
00:24:01,083 --> 00:24:04,123
# Get crackin'
Get, get crackin'. #
497
00:24:04,123 --> 00:24:06,243
Sorry, you didn't explain
what the hell is going on.
498
00:24:06,243 --> 00:24:09,883
Time to hand out
some street justice.
499
00:24:09,883 --> 00:24:12,923
What...
What does that even mean?
500
00:24:12,923 --> 00:24:14,843
I mean, they've gone out,
the music's stopped.
501
00:24:14,843 --> 00:24:16,883
That is all part of the plan.
502
00:24:16,883 --> 00:24:19,043
Yeah, what is the plan?
You haven't told me.
503
00:24:19,043 --> 00:24:22,803
Less talk, more action.
504
00:24:22,803 --> 00:24:24,363
Smash car.
505
00:24:24,363 --> 00:24:26,763
So the plan is to smash his car up?
506
00:24:26,763 --> 00:24:29,203
Exactly.
507
00:24:29,203 --> 00:24:32,603
Smash...car!
508
00:24:32,603 --> 00:24:34,843
You... Are you all right, Gary?
509
00:24:34,843 --> 00:24:36,483
Smash cars!
510
00:24:36,483 --> 00:24:38,963
You sound a bit...
Well, you sound a bit like the Hulk.
511
00:24:38,963 --> 00:24:41,603
Ugh! Sick in my bum!
512
00:24:41,603 --> 00:24:44,003
Yeah, OK? Agh-agh-aagh!
513
00:24:44,003 --> 00:24:46,603
Gary, you all right, mate? Agh!
514
00:24:46,603 --> 00:24:48,643
DISTORTED: Can you hear me, Gary?
515
00:24:48,643 --> 00:24:51,803
My name Gaky! Are you all right?
Hey, put that down.
516
00:24:51,803 --> 00:24:53,363
Smash car! Gary!
517
00:24:53,363 --> 00:24:54,803
Gary?
518
00:24:54,803 --> 00:24:57,323
HIS VOICE DISTORTS
AND ECHOES
519
00:25:06,243 --> 00:25:08,923
Hey, it's all right.
Shh-shh-shh-shh.
520
00:25:09,923 --> 00:25:11,923
Gave us a scare there, babes.
521
00:25:11,923 --> 00:25:13,283
Gave myself a scare.
522
00:25:13,283 --> 00:25:16,123
I'm really sorry, babe.
I should have been here for you.
523
00:25:17,643 --> 00:25:20,723
I was too busy trying to punish you
and I shouldn't have done.
524
00:25:20,723 --> 00:25:22,443
I feel really rotten.
525
00:25:22,443 --> 00:25:26,043
Don't dare blame yourself.
Do not dare blame yourself.
526
00:25:26,043 --> 00:25:27,883
It's my doing.
527
00:25:27,883 --> 00:25:33,083
I have been playing fast and loose
with my health for far too long.
528
00:25:33,083 --> 00:25:36,123
From now on,
I will be Chill-play Gary.
529
00:25:36,123 --> 00:25:37,523
Yeah.
530
00:25:39,803 --> 00:25:41,803
What's that there, babe?
531
00:25:44,523 --> 00:25:48,163
Oh! That's supposed to be me, is it?
Yeah.
532
00:25:48,163 --> 00:25:51,563
Oh, OK. Um...
All right, I'm sure we can do
533
00:25:51,563 --> 00:25:54,603
something about that - like, you
know, shade it in or block it out,
534
00:25:54,603 --> 00:25:56,003
or just, we'll get rid.
535
00:25:56,003 --> 00:25:58,923
You bloused it, then?
A panic attack?
536
00:25:58,923 --> 00:26:00,883
They're the ones that kill you, Mum.
537
00:26:00,883 --> 00:26:03,483
They're far more dangerous
than any heart attack.
538
00:26:03,483 --> 00:26:06,243
PHONE RINGS
539
00:26:03,483 --> 00:26:06,243
Oh, my life.
540
00:26:06,243 --> 00:26:08,723
Oh, it's Martin again. Ugh!
541
00:26:08,723 --> 00:26:10,883
He wants neutering, the louse.
542
00:26:10,883 --> 00:26:15,803
My darling? Yeah. I want you to
speak to our wedding planner, Kay,
543
00:26:15,803 --> 00:26:19,563
and you tell her to remove
Martin Fudd
544
00:26:19,563 --> 00:26:21,363
from the wedding WhatsApp group.
545
00:26:22,363 --> 00:26:24,963
Oh, babe, she'll be
so made up. Thank you.
546
00:26:24,963 --> 00:26:28,523
Oh, I love you. Love you more.
547
00:26:28,523 --> 00:26:31,123
I'm like a chair without legs
without you.
548
00:26:31,123 --> 00:26:33,003
DOORBELL RINGS
549
00:26:33,003 --> 00:26:34,403
Oh, I'll get that.
550
00:26:37,683 --> 00:26:41,443
Oh, hello.
Yeah, is Gary there, please?
551
00:26:41,443 --> 00:26:43,603
Yeah, I'll grab him for you.
552
00:26:58,203 --> 00:27:01,083
What do you want?
Someone's, er...
553
00:27:01,083 --> 00:27:03,883
Someone's smashed up me motor
554
00:27:03,883 --> 00:27:05,843
and they've stole my cat.
555
00:27:05,843 --> 00:27:07,963
Do you know anything?
556
00:27:07,963 --> 00:27:10,723
Did you see anything,
or, like, I think, maybe,
557
00:27:10,723 --> 00:27:12,483
as, like, the crescent warden,
558
00:27:12,483 --> 00:27:14,963
someone might have reported
something?
559
00:27:17,243 --> 00:27:19,603
I know who smashed up
your car, mate.
560
00:27:19,603 --> 00:27:23,203
And I know who took your cat.
Who-who... Who was it, bruv?
561
00:27:23,203 --> 00:27:26,123
It was me. I did it.
562
00:27:26,123 --> 00:27:29,603
What...? You're serious? Yeah.
563
00:27:29,603 --> 00:27:31,203
See, this is my serious face.
564
00:27:32,803 --> 00:27:37,763
What...? You think you can...
you can do something like that to me
565
00:27:37,763 --> 00:27:39,003
and get away with it?
566
00:27:39,003 --> 00:27:41,523
Oh, I know I'm going
to get away with it, mate.
567
00:27:41,523 --> 00:27:43,683
See, this is what your problem is,
right?
568
00:27:43,683 --> 00:27:45,403
This is your problem.
569
00:27:45,403 --> 00:27:47,843
In a domestic dispute such as this,
570
00:27:47,843 --> 00:27:50,603
what one needs is weaknesses, right?
571
00:27:50,603 --> 00:27:54,363
Now, in this circumstance, for you,
is I'm pretty sure no-one saw
572
00:27:54,363 --> 00:27:57,763
a thing, mate.
I can almost guarantee that.
573
00:27:57,763 --> 00:28:00,843
You've gone down like
a shitty penny round here, mate.
574
00:28:00,843 --> 00:28:05,403
So get your stuff and get out
of Butterchurn Crescent, mate.
575
00:28:05,403 --> 00:28:07,003
Be gone.
576
00:28:07,003 --> 00:28:10,443
I'll have your cat sent along
safely and soundly,
577
00:28:10,443 --> 00:28:13,563
but you've got to go, boy! Go on!
578
00:28:13,563 --> 00:28:16,883
You look after her, yeah?
You have my word on that.
579
00:28:16,883 --> 00:28:20,523
Go on. Go on mate, go on.
Go on, off you go.
580
00:28:20,523 --> 00:28:23,443
HE WHISTLES
581
00:28:23,443 --> 00:28:27,163
You all right, boy? Mate, honestly -
well done, smashing his car up.
582
00:28:27,163 --> 00:28:29,283
I've just done a deal
with the man, yeah?
583
00:28:29,283 --> 00:28:32,603
You've just got to get that cat back
to him safely. That's the deal.
Well done, Dad.
584
00:28:32,603 --> 00:28:36,403
What cat? I didn't touch his cat.
Just smashed his motor to pieces.