1 00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:03,963 Have it! Smash it, babe! Six. Woo! 2 00:00:03,963 --> 00:00:07,563 Go on. Think of that suit, darl. Shah! 3 00:00:07,563 --> 00:00:09,483 Burn! 4 00:00:09,483 --> 00:00:12,363 Oh! That's right. 5 00:00:12,363 --> 00:00:14,083 Nine, OK. 6 00:00:14,083 --> 00:00:17,523 Ten. Well done. Well done. Ah! Babe. Yeah, darling? 7 00:00:17,523 --> 00:00:20,563 Can I tell you something, but you promise you can't go garrity? 8 00:00:20,563 --> 00:00:22,563 What, is it? Oh, my God, what is happening? 9 00:00:22,563 --> 00:00:24,763 Is it Teddy, baby, is this why you're holding me down? 10 00:00:24,763 --> 00:00:27,843 I'm not holding you down, babe. Feels like you are holding me down right now. 11 00:00:27,843 --> 00:00:30,403 Definitely not holding you down, babe. Listen to me, listen. 12 00:00:30,403 --> 00:00:32,083 I can tell you I'm starting to get proper 13 00:00:32,083 --> 00:00:35,043 Aggro Santos about this wedding, all right, you know, what with Chloe not 14 00:00:35,043 --> 00:00:37,723 being the wedding planner any more. I can see you're getting 15 00:00:37,723 --> 00:00:40,083 your heart palpitations, your tight chest. 16 00:00:40,083 --> 00:00:42,443 Just tell me, just, just tell me quick. 17 00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:44,563 Kay's stepping in as the new wedding planner. 18 00:00:44,563 --> 00:00:47,763 No, she isn't! No way, that is not happening. 19 00:00:51,803 --> 00:00:55,563 No way, no way to Kay, she ain't though, she is not though. 20 00:00:55,563 --> 00:00:57,203 Oh, she is though, Gary, 21 00:00:57,203 --> 00:00:59,523 and do not go to war with me in the middle of The Dave, Gal. 22 00:00:59,523 --> 00:01:01,643 Oh, we're at war, this is the middle of the... 23 00:01:01,643 --> 00:01:02,883 Hold up, hold up. 24 00:01:02,883 --> 00:01:05,603 Is that why she's changed the name of the wedding WhatsApp group 25 00:01:05,603 --> 00:01:07,163 to Party People? 26 00:01:07,163 --> 00:01:08,963 I mean, Party People? This is my wedding! 27 00:01:08,963 --> 00:01:10,443 Oh-ho, it's your wedding, is it now? 28 00:01:10,443 --> 00:01:12,923 Well, you should have thought about that before organising 29 00:01:12,923 --> 00:01:14,723 the sten do the night before the wedding. 30 00:01:14,723 --> 00:01:17,843 It's in keeping with the old school traditional theme what we're 31 00:01:17,843 --> 00:01:19,763 going for. Plus, it's cost-effective, 32 00:01:19,763 --> 00:01:22,643 and I'm the only one who's thinking about expenditure cos you're 33 00:01:22,643 --> 00:01:25,523 just rinsing it, darling, flopping out the wedge. Here it goes, money, 34 00:01:25,523 --> 00:01:28,443 money, money. Terri don't worry about it - where's that money going? 35 00:01:28,443 --> 00:01:30,563 I don't care! Whoa! What is that supposed to mean? 36 00:01:30,563 --> 00:01:33,243 I'm just saying there's been a lot of events. Has there? 37 00:01:33,243 --> 00:01:35,483 You've had your bottomless garage brunch, 38 00:01:35,483 --> 00:01:38,043 you've had your afternoon tea at Claridge's. So? 39 00:01:38,043 --> 00:01:40,523 Now tomorrow, you've got another big lunch up west. 40 00:01:40,523 --> 00:01:42,483 I mean, come on! 41 00:01:42,483 --> 00:01:44,283 Well, it's Kay's official first event, 42 00:01:44,283 --> 00:01:46,563 the change of the guard, you've got your boy's one. 43 00:01:46,563 --> 00:01:48,723 It's a suit-fitting! It's a suit-fitting. 44 00:01:48,723 --> 00:01:50,643 Honestly, rein your mates in. 45 00:01:50,643 --> 00:01:53,083 My mates? What about your mates on that group, Gary? 46 00:01:53,083 --> 00:01:55,403 Have you seen the filth Martin's been putting out there? 47 00:01:55,403 --> 00:01:57,283 I mean, it's making me feel utterly bilious. 48 00:01:57,283 --> 00:02:00,683 Martin ain't my mate, he's your mum's boyfriend. He's part of the groom party, babe. 49 00:02:00,683 --> 00:02:03,403 Because he begged to be because he's never been to a wedding before. 50 00:02:03,403 --> 00:02:07,243 We knew the WhatsApp group would be a political mind-field, 51 00:02:07,243 --> 00:02:09,323 and now Kay's in charge. 52 00:02:09,323 --> 00:02:11,203 Hm, what could go wrong? 53 00:02:11,203 --> 00:02:13,243 Oh, do not take that tone with me, Tony. 54 00:02:13,243 --> 00:02:16,003 Tony, what are you going on about Tony? Not at all, mate. 55 00:02:16,003 --> 00:02:18,003 Hold on a minute, sorry, can you hear that music? 56 00:02:18,003 --> 00:02:19,843 Can't hear a thing. It's Toni Braxton. 57 00:02:19,843 --> 00:02:21,643 Oh, very funny, very funny, honestly, 58 00:02:21,643 --> 00:02:24,323 I'm just worried about our wedding. So I'm sorry. 59 00:02:24,323 --> 00:02:27,123 Oh, what are you worried about? Cry me another river, Tony Bennett. 60 00:02:27,123 --> 00:02:30,523 Rich, why don't you shut your face? Honestly, Tel, shut up, serious. 61 00:02:30,523 --> 00:02:32,923 Ooh, shut up now? Why you being so defensive, Tony Adams? 62 00:02:32,923 --> 00:02:36,123 Stop calling me different Tonys, stop it now! 63 00:02:36,123 --> 00:02:39,163 I'm going to walk away cos I don't want this to evolve any more than it has to. 64 00:02:39,163 --> 00:02:41,723 Oh, it's evolved, Gary, it's evolving, 65 00:02:41,723 --> 00:02:44,763 you just sped up the evolvalation process, so good one. 66 00:02:44,763 --> 00:02:49,483 Oh, go on, yeah, yeah, go on, ooh, you're hard, yeah, go on. 67 00:02:49,483 --> 00:02:52,243 Go on, I can do it all day, mate, boom, there we go, 68 00:02:52,243 --> 00:02:53,723 there's another for you. 69 00:02:53,723 --> 00:02:56,803 You're a big baby, Gary, with your big baby balls. 70 00:02:56,803 --> 00:02:58,443 Yeah, wreck the joint! 71 00:03:12,043 --> 00:03:13,323 Uh! 72 00:03:20,723 --> 00:03:23,123 DISTANT ANIMALISTIC SQUEALS 73 00:03:28,203 --> 00:03:31,563 Fo... That is foxes, stupid horny foxes. 74 00:03:32,923 --> 00:03:34,523 I'm going to give them what for. 75 00:03:37,923 --> 00:03:40,043 ANIMALISTIC SQUEALS 76 00:03:45,243 --> 00:03:47,483 Oh, babe, babe, baby. 77 00:03:47,483 --> 00:03:49,763 It's Aaron! Aaron's bonking out there. 78 00:03:51,163 --> 00:03:53,243 He is bonking in his garden! 79 00:03:55,163 --> 00:03:57,083 TO HIMSELF: What are you playing at? 80 00:04:00,043 --> 00:04:03,403 Dirty, horrible bonker. Dirty, filthy bonker. 81 00:04:11,843 --> 00:04:14,243 Oh, I'm going to turn my back. 82 00:04:14,243 --> 00:04:17,003 So you know, I'll turn my back. 83 00:04:17,003 --> 00:04:18,323 Ah! 84 00:04:23,563 --> 00:04:27,763 I don't even want cover, so you have it, I like to be cold. 85 00:04:27,763 --> 00:04:30,243 I'm hot anyway. So I'm hot. 86 00:04:30,243 --> 00:04:33,323 Actually done me a favour, thank you for letting me cool down. 87 00:04:34,843 --> 00:04:38,163 MOANING AND GROANING INTENSIFIES 88 00:04:42,083 --> 00:04:45,963 Right, listen, you take care, yeah? Be safe, be safe, yeah? 89 00:04:49,243 --> 00:04:50,643 What's that? New girlfriend? 90 00:04:50,643 --> 00:04:53,403 Why? You taking notes? 91 00:04:53,403 --> 00:04:55,483 No notes, mate, just happy for you. 92 00:04:55,483 --> 00:04:58,283 I see you having a little sneaky peak last night. 93 00:04:58,283 --> 00:05:01,043 Is that cos you ain't getting your end away? 94 00:05:01,043 --> 00:05:04,243 SCOFFS COMICALLY Sneaky peak, mate? Me? Nah. Nah. 95 00:05:04,243 --> 00:05:06,683 And let me tell you, I'm still very much getting my end away. 96 00:05:06,683 --> 00:05:08,923 Really? Yeah, really. 97 00:05:08,923 --> 00:05:12,283 Anyone can rock up and put in a shift here and there, 98 00:05:12,283 --> 00:05:14,923 for the odd game or two, score a couple of goals. 99 00:05:14,923 --> 00:05:19,283 You try staying with the same club year upon year 100 00:05:19,283 --> 00:05:21,843 and consistently performing. 101 00:05:21,843 --> 00:05:24,563 Gary Neville, mate, that's who I am when it comes to the sex. 102 00:05:24,563 --> 00:05:29,803 I'm Gary Neville. Reliable, no frills, just dependable. 103 00:05:29,803 --> 00:05:31,723 Gary Neville? Yeah, Gary Neville, mate. 104 00:05:31,723 --> 00:05:33,403 FOOTSTEPS APPROACH 105 00:05:31,723 --> 00:05:33,403 Hello, darling. 106 00:05:33,403 --> 00:05:35,043 You all right, b... Babe? 107 00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:37,483 Don't know if you saw, I just did the bins, done the bins. 108 00:05:37,483 --> 00:05:40,043 Ooey! Trouble in paradise? 109 00:05:40,043 --> 00:05:44,003 Trouble in nowhere - paradise in paradise if anything, so... 110 00:05:44,003 --> 00:05:46,963 Actually, I'm glad that I've seen you here, 111 00:05:46,963 --> 00:05:50,323 cos I wanted to say, um, I've been talking to the 112 00:05:50,323 --> 00:05:53,683 neighbours, mate, and this is - you've got to stop the parties. 113 00:05:53,683 --> 00:05:55,563 HE ROLLS HIS LIPS 114 00:05:55,563 --> 00:05:57,683 I'm having another one tonight, as it goes. 115 00:05:57,683 --> 00:06:01,843 No, honestly, Aaron, no way, no way. I'm going to have to say no. 116 00:06:01,843 --> 00:06:05,123 Look, what I'm going to say is join the Crescent Facebook group 117 00:06:05,123 --> 00:06:07,843 and just see how it's affecting people's lives. 118 00:06:07,843 --> 00:06:10,283 I ain't joining the Facebook group, Gary. 119 00:06:10,283 --> 00:06:13,443 If anyone's got a problem with me, they can come and talk with me. 120 00:06:14,723 --> 00:06:16,843 OK. I get it. 121 00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:20,283 Not everyone has got Facebook but seriously, Aaron, mate, 122 00:06:20,283 --> 00:06:23,603 seriously, Aaron, mate, seriously, mate. 123 00:06:23,603 --> 00:06:26,043 Friends and neighbours, 124 00:06:26,043 --> 00:06:29,003 I want to assure you, as your crescent warden, 125 00:06:29,003 --> 00:06:32,563 I have noticed the chatter that's happening 126 00:06:32,563 --> 00:06:35,083 on WhatsApp and the Facebook groups. Now... 127 00:06:35,083 --> 00:06:37,603 You spoken to him yet? Yeah, I was just getting to that. 128 00:06:37,603 --> 00:06:41,683 I talked to Aaron this morning on the drive and we talked, right... 129 00:06:41,683 --> 00:06:44,763 I mean spoken to him, opened your mouth, words come out, 130 00:06:44,763 --> 00:06:46,163 let him know the apple core. 131 00:06:46,163 --> 00:06:48,443 He knows, mate, he knows, I very much let him know, 132 00:06:48,443 --> 00:06:51,083 I was, like, "Mate, if you think this is going to happen for much 133 00:06:51,083 --> 00:06:53,203 "longer, you've got another thing coming..." 134 00:06:53,203 --> 00:06:55,403 Great, great, so no more loud late-night parties. 135 00:06:55,403 --> 00:06:59,483 Mm-hm, mm-hm, probably not, probably maybe not, probably not. 136 00:06:59,483 --> 00:07:02,003 What? Come on, he's running riot over you. 137 00:07:02,003 --> 00:07:04,243 When I handed down the stewardship of this 138 00:07:04,243 --> 00:07:06,283 crescent to you, I thought you was ready. 139 00:07:06,283 --> 00:07:07,843 I was born ready. 140 00:07:07,843 --> 00:07:09,523 Born ready. 141 00:07:09,523 --> 00:07:11,443 I have never let down the kin of my... 142 00:07:11,443 --> 00:07:12,963 Because you ain't been tested. 143 00:07:12,963 --> 00:07:14,683 Look, people are unhappy, boy. 144 00:07:14,683 --> 00:07:16,283 From down there in the circle 145 00:07:16,283 --> 00:07:19,483 to as far as the eye can see, there's rumblings. 146 00:07:19,483 --> 00:07:21,923 Well, that is why... Dissent. And that is why... 147 00:07:21,923 --> 00:07:27,123 Unrest. That's why I am taking drastic action. 148 00:07:27,123 --> 00:07:31,563 I am putting together a list of people's grievances 149 00:07:31,563 --> 00:07:33,563 and I am going to take that to the council office. 150 00:07:33,563 --> 00:07:36,923 A list? Lists are for mugs and supermarkets. 151 00:07:36,923 --> 00:07:40,283 He needs to go, there's no reasoning with people like that. 152 00:07:40,283 --> 00:07:42,363 Firm action must be taken. 153 00:07:42,363 --> 00:07:45,323 Yes! Father, please, just let me do this my way. 154 00:07:45,323 --> 00:07:48,043 OK, please, I beg of you. 155 00:07:48,043 --> 00:07:50,523 Yes, Robin Tuckett, take the floor, mate, come on. 156 00:07:50,523 --> 00:07:54,403 Him and his cohorts are always out the front, smoking, shouting, 157 00:07:54,403 --> 00:07:57,763 horns beeping. I was literally hopping mad the other night. 158 00:07:57,763 --> 00:08:00,643 He was in our back garden hopping and screaming. 159 00:08:00,643 --> 00:08:03,483 Yes, I was. Oh, look, it's quite simple, send the boys round, 160 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:06,443 smash his motor to pieces, take the man's heart out. 161 00:08:06,443 --> 00:08:08,803 Nah, nah, nah, no to that, that is vandalling. 162 00:08:08,803 --> 00:08:10,523 Have you seen Annie's wrist, Gary? 163 00:08:10,523 --> 00:08:12,963 She has taken a seriously bad fall, look at this. 164 00:08:12,963 --> 00:08:15,483 It's, it's nothing, honestly. It's not nothing, 165 00:08:15,483 --> 00:08:18,043 she was knocked off her bike by a dangerously parked car. 166 00:08:18,043 --> 00:08:19,643 It's just a sprain. 167 00:08:19,643 --> 00:08:22,803 A grade-two sprain, the ligament is completely twisted. 168 00:08:22,803 --> 00:08:25,443 I should have spotted it, but it just jumped right at me. 169 00:08:25,443 --> 00:08:28,283 Don't blame yourself, you can't move for aggressively parked cars 170 00:08:28,283 --> 00:08:30,123 since this Aaron moved in! 171 00:08:30,123 --> 00:08:32,323 This is all great stuff for the list, thank you, Robin, 172 00:08:32,323 --> 00:08:35,203 this is going to be... Come on, he's nearly maimed one of our own here. 173 00:08:35,203 --> 00:08:36,643 Well, it's just a sprain. 174 00:08:36,643 --> 00:08:39,643 Are you even listening to me, Gary? A grade-two sprain! Grade two! 175 00:08:39,643 --> 00:08:43,323 Robin, Robin, I am listening, mate, with my heart and my ears 176 00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:46,963 but I am trying to be diplomacy here. 177 00:08:46,963 --> 00:08:48,923 Everyone should write a letter. 178 00:08:48,923 --> 00:08:52,443 Oh! Letters? What is it, 1954? 179 00:08:52,443 --> 00:08:55,883 What you don't know, mate, what no-one here knows is if the council 180 00:08:55,883 --> 00:08:59,043 gets more than seven letters about the same problem, they will act. 181 00:08:59,043 --> 00:09:00,243 Yes, Mum, please? 182 00:09:00,243 --> 00:09:03,083 Can we talk about this filth that Martin is 183 00:09:03,083 --> 00:09:05,243 sharing on the WhatsApp group? Mum, that is... 184 00:09:05,243 --> 00:09:07,803 Sherilee and Ian are on there and they're in their 70s. 185 00:09:07,803 --> 00:09:09,003 That is not the concern... 186 00:09:09,003 --> 00:09:12,123 No, it is vile, it's always the same man looking very pleased with 187 00:09:12,123 --> 00:09:14,403 himself with his big Bob Watson hanging out. 188 00:09:14,403 --> 00:09:16,603 Yes, Mum, I know it's very upsetting for you 189 00:09:16,603 --> 00:09:18,483 but this is a whole different scenario. 190 00:09:18,483 --> 00:09:20,123 I don't think she understands... 191 00:09:20,123 --> 00:09:22,403 This is about the Crescent and about Aaron, please. 192 00:09:22,403 --> 00:09:25,083 Anne, darling, yes, please, is it about Aaron? It is. 193 00:09:26,363 --> 00:09:29,883 He yelled at poor Jed Johns last week. 194 00:09:29,883 --> 00:09:33,243 Oh. OK, Jed Johns isn't here, is he? 195 00:09:33,243 --> 00:09:35,603 He's had a heart attack, Gary. Oh, my God. 196 00:09:35,603 --> 00:09:37,003 That's where he is. 197 00:09:37,003 --> 00:09:39,523 What, a heart attack because of Aaron? Well, that's murder! 198 00:09:39,523 --> 00:09:42,843 Murderer! I don't know if it's because of Aaron. 199 00:09:42,843 --> 00:09:45,403 But more about the heart attack there, Anne, 200 00:09:45,403 --> 00:09:47,403 just to sort of like check back a little bit. 201 00:09:47,403 --> 00:09:49,923 So Jed Johns was what, in his late 30s, early 40s? 202 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,603 Um, late 30s, 38. 203 00:09:51,603 --> 00:09:53,883 So, jeez, 38, I'm 39. 204 00:09:53,883 --> 00:09:56,803 I mean, the heart attack did happen a few days after the altercation 205 00:09:56,803 --> 00:09:58,203 with Aaron. 206 00:09:58,203 --> 00:10:01,123 Look, he's maimed Anne, he's nearly killed Jed Johns, 207 00:10:01,123 --> 00:10:02,723 the parties are endless, 208 00:10:02,723 --> 00:10:05,563 the cat's having a 24-hour shitathon in our garden. 209 00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:08,603 This is not a time for letters or civil lists. 210 00:10:08,603 --> 00:10:11,323 You want to put the burners on, liven yourself up 211 00:10:11,323 --> 00:10:13,163 and get him off the Crescent now! 212 00:10:13,163 --> 00:10:15,403 Yes! APPLAUSE FADES OUT 213 00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:22,403 Cheers, my darlings. 214 00:10:22,403 --> 00:10:23,843 It's exciting. 215 00:10:26,443 --> 00:10:29,923 Tel, what's going on, girl? 216 00:10:29,923 --> 00:10:33,083 You've not been yourself within yourself, I know that face. 217 00:10:35,203 --> 00:10:38,043 It's Gary, I'm... I'm not talking to him. 218 00:10:38,043 --> 00:10:40,283 Oh, no. How bad is it? 219 00:10:40,283 --> 00:10:43,003 Oh, I've gone fully dark. 220 00:10:43,003 --> 00:10:45,683 Oh, God. Big tings though? 221 00:10:45,683 --> 00:10:47,883 Big tings. Yeah. 222 00:10:47,883 --> 00:10:50,603 We had a massive barney down the Dave about the wedding. 223 00:10:50,603 --> 00:10:53,243 Oh, you still a member, Terri? I never see you down there. 224 00:10:53,243 --> 00:10:54,483 So what was it about, babe? 225 00:10:54,483 --> 00:10:57,003 Oh, nothing, just, you know, wedding stuff, 226 00:10:57,003 --> 00:10:59,563 Gary getting his knickers all bunched up his walnut about it. 227 00:10:59,563 --> 00:11:02,243 I'm actually going to get my hair done different for the wedding. 228 00:11:02,243 --> 00:11:04,843 So what stage you at, then, with the fully dark? Stage two. 229 00:11:04,843 --> 00:11:06,843 I'm going to go really, really mega short with it 230 00:11:06,843 --> 00:11:09,523 like a pixie cut, so you can, like, really see my face properly. 231 00:11:09,523 --> 00:11:11,283 Completed the silent treatment. 232 00:11:11,283 --> 00:11:15,003 Now I'm moving smoothly into the second phase and, oosh, guess what? 233 00:11:15,003 --> 00:11:19,603 Gary's already crumbled, asking where am I and am I OK? 234 00:11:19,603 --> 00:11:22,763 So now I just hit back with the dot dot dots. 235 00:11:22,763 --> 00:11:24,203 Oh, the dot dot dot. 236 00:11:24,203 --> 00:11:25,683 What's a dot dot dot? 237 00:11:25,683 --> 00:11:27,563 Yeah, see, I go to reply to the message, 238 00:11:27,563 --> 00:11:29,243 Gary can see the dot dot dots, 239 00:11:29,243 --> 00:11:33,003 he's thinking, "Ah, Terri's replying, what's she going to say? 240 00:11:33,003 --> 00:11:37,243 "What's she going to say?" Nothing, nitto, back to dark. 241 00:11:37,243 --> 00:11:39,243 Oh, to dark! 242 00:11:39,243 --> 00:11:40,723 Savage. 243 00:11:40,723 --> 00:11:42,523 So savage, yeah. 244 00:11:42,523 --> 00:11:44,003 Shall we get a cocktail, then? 245 00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:46,443 Stage three will be to eventually answer the question, 246 00:11:46,443 --> 00:11:48,843 but not answer the question, with, like, a really confusing 247 00:11:48,843 --> 00:11:51,283 cryptic message that will get right into his bonce, 248 00:11:51,283 --> 00:11:55,123 something like "Oh, you know what you've done." 249 00:11:55,123 --> 00:11:57,803 Just cos the wine's not very good for my tummy, 250 00:11:57,803 --> 00:11:59,283 it sort of gives me IBS. 251 00:11:59,283 --> 00:12:02,603 Stage four, turn off my phone, stage five, another cryptic message, 252 00:12:02,603 --> 00:12:05,923 but this time I send the worst emoji of all the emojis. 253 00:12:05,923 --> 00:12:07,603 Oh, go on. The thumbs up. 254 00:12:07,603 --> 00:12:10,283 I mean, no woman worth her salt ever uses the thumbs up, 255 00:12:10,283 --> 00:12:11,643 do you know what I mean? 256 00:12:11,643 --> 00:12:13,643 I always send you the thumbs up though, don't I? 257 00:12:13,643 --> 00:12:16,003 Well, either that or you could go sarcastic heart. 258 00:12:16,003 --> 00:12:18,803 Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, stick to what I know, babe, 259 00:12:18,803 --> 00:12:20,643 it sends out a powerful message - 260 00:12:20,643 --> 00:12:22,843 we are still friends, but nothing more. 261 00:12:24,643 --> 00:12:27,243 For now anyway, I mean, I love him to pieces really. 262 00:12:27,243 --> 00:12:28,563 Do you know what I mean? 263 00:12:28,563 --> 00:12:30,603 DIAL TONE 264 00:12:28,563 --> 00:12:30,603 Pick up, bubba, pick up. 265 00:12:30,603 --> 00:12:32,363 I need you, baby girl, I need you. 266 00:12:32,363 --> 00:12:34,923 Stuart! Stuart Williams. 267 00:12:34,923 --> 00:12:37,363 Where were you for the big Crescent meeting today, mate? 268 00:12:37,363 --> 00:12:38,843 Erm, I was working. 269 00:12:38,843 --> 00:12:41,083 I tell you something, mate, you, you need to 270 00:12:41,083 --> 00:12:43,603 go on the record about what happened with your recycling bin. 271 00:12:43,603 --> 00:12:46,523 Oh, do you know what, Gary? I'm happy enough to stay out of it now, 272 00:12:46,523 --> 00:12:47,923 it'll sort itself out. 273 00:12:47,923 --> 00:12:51,363 Evil thrives when good men do nothing, 274 00:12:51,363 --> 00:12:53,243 and we're the good men here. 275 00:12:53,243 --> 00:12:55,523 I'm under the cosh, Stu, I'm under the cosh, mate. 276 00:12:55,523 --> 00:12:59,083 I had the mother of all arguments with my Terri. 277 00:12:59,083 --> 00:13:02,603 Honestly, mate, I don't know what to do, I'm beside myself. 278 00:13:02,603 --> 00:13:05,923 She's ignoring me, blanking all my calls, blanking my texts. 279 00:13:05,923 --> 00:13:08,243 It's the longest I've ever gone in my life 280 00:13:08,243 --> 00:13:10,963 without speaking to her, mate. I feel like I am living your life. 281 00:13:10,963 --> 00:13:12,723 Well, when did you have this argument? 282 00:13:12,723 --> 00:13:15,843 Last night. Right, so you've not spoken for an entire morning? 283 00:13:15,843 --> 00:13:17,923 It's not quite the same, is it, Gary? 284 00:13:17,923 --> 00:13:19,443 It's exactly the same! 285 00:13:19,443 --> 00:13:21,563 Shall we look at our relative situations? 286 00:13:21,563 --> 00:13:23,963 Cos your situation is you've had a minor 287 00:13:23,963 --> 00:13:27,043 disagreement during preparation for your wedding, whereas my situation 288 00:13:27,043 --> 00:13:29,843 is if I want to see my kids, I've got to speak to a lawyer first. 289 00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:32,803 So it's pretty much exactly the same is what I'm saying, mate. 290 00:13:32,803 --> 00:13:34,603 Honestly. 291 00:13:34,603 --> 00:13:37,763 Look, this is a text what she said, just read that for me, please. 292 00:13:39,043 --> 00:13:40,763 "You now what you've done"? 293 00:13:41,883 --> 00:13:43,083 Does she mean "know"? 294 00:13:43,083 --> 00:13:45,923 Yeah. I think that, yeah, that does make more sense. 295 00:13:45,923 --> 00:13:48,003 Yeah. Well, what have you done? 296 00:13:48,003 --> 00:13:50,403 Last night, she turned round, 297 00:13:50,403 --> 00:13:52,803 she said she wanted Kay to be the wedding planner, 298 00:13:52,803 --> 00:13:54,363 and I'm like, "No way, mate!" 299 00:13:54,363 --> 00:13:56,283 Do you actually call her mate? 300 00:13:56,283 --> 00:13:58,603 Yeah, because she is my best mate of all time 301 00:13:58,603 --> 00:14:00,483 and my most exquisite lover of sex. 302 00:14:00,483 --> 00:14:02,123 OK, well, that's disgusting, 303 00:14:02,123 --> 00:14:04,203 but she is clearly talking about this argument? 304 00:14:04,203 --> 00:14:06,603 Honestly, I knew that you'd understand of all the people 305 00:14:06,603 --> 00:14:08,963 I knew in my life cos you are, like, the captain of sadness. 306 00:14:08,963 --> 00:14:11,283 OK, I don't want to be known as the captain of sadness... 307 00:14:11,283 --> 00:14:13,323 You are, mate, you are like Professor Sad. 308 00:14:13,323 --> 00:14:15,523 I'm...I don't want to be known as Professor Sad. 309 00:14:15,523 --> 00:14:17,523 Thank you for being so sad and giving me 310 00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,763 the wisdom of your sadness. That's not wisdom. 311 00:14:19,763 --> 00:14:22,403 Of everyone I know, you have the most experience with people not 312 00:14:22,403 --> 00:14:25,123 loving you. Well, that's incredibly hurtful, Gary, thank you. 313 00:14:25,123 --> 00:14:26,723 And I also need to ask you something. 314 00:14:26,723 --> 00:14:30,363 Sure, I mean, after that absolute volley of insults, what can I do for you? 315 00:14:30,363 --> 00:14:31,963 If this thing kicks off with Aaron, 316 00:14:31,963 --> 00:14:34,203 I need to know that you have my back. 317 00:14:34,203 --> 00:14:36,843 Well, as a last resort, I will... 318 00:14:36,843 --> 00:14:38,523 I tell you what, I'll think about it. 319 00:14:38,523 --> 00:14:40,363 Do you mean that? A million percent? 320 00:14:40,363 --> 00:14:42,483 A million percent? There's no such thing as a million percent. 321 00:14:42,483 --> 00:14:46,043 Just do it, please, mate. I need you, Stu. 322 00:14:46,043 --> 00:14:47,323 I need you. Stu? 323 00:14:47,323 --> 00:14:48,683 If you leave my driveway. 324 00:14:48,683 --> 00:14:50,483 Thank you, OK. Thank you. 325 00:15:02,043 --> 00:15:06,883 Well, thank you, Mr Tailor Man, and how does one find the measurements? 326 00:15:06,883 --> 00:15:08,763 Are they to your liking, sir? 327 00:15:08,763 --> 00:15:11,763 Tell you what, I feel like one of the Kingsmen. 328 00:15:11,763 --> 00:15:14,643 Oh, he's a bit keen, isn't he, Gal? LAUGHS RAUCOUSLY 329 00:15:14,643 --> 00:15:17,123 Naughty, naughty! Crabbie, mate, please. 330 00:15:17,123 --> 00:15:18,603 What would Tel say? Hah! 331 00:15:18,603 --> 00:15:20,723 Please, please, just show a bit of decorum, mate, 332 00:15:20,723 --> 00:15:23,443 show a little... Martin, why are you taking your clothes off, mate? 333 00:15:23,443 --> 00:15:26,243 Oh, I've never had a suit before. But you don't take your clothes off. 334 00:15:26,243 --> 00:15:27,603 What's this, mate? Is it mohair? 335 00:15:27,603 --> 00:15:31,643 Look with your eyes, mate, not your fingers, Crabbie, don't touch. What you got there, Gal? New ink? 336 00:15:31,643 --> 00:15:34,363 Nothing, mate, don't worry about it, don't worry about it. Show us. 337 00:15:34,363 --> 00:15:36,923 Don't be no shy guy! 338 00:15:34,363 --> 00:15:36,923 GUFFAWS 339 00:15:36,923 --> 00:15:38,803 Just a little something what I've had done. 340 00:15:38,803 --> 00:15:39,923 Come on, show us. 341 00:15:41,163 --> 00:15:43,043 Who's that? Kurt Cobain? 342 00:15:44,483 --> 00:15:46,083 What? Tiger King. 343 00:15:46,083 --> 00:15:48,003 Nah. Dog the Bounty Hunter. 344 00:15:48,003 --> 00:15:51,483 Look at it, Crabbie, mate, look...look at it. 345 00:15:51,483 --> 00:15:53,563 Edward Scissorhands. Edward... 346 00:15:53,563 --> 00:15:55,723 What?! Is it Mick Hucknall? 347 00:15:55,723 --> 00:15:57,883 It's Terri, mate, that is clearly... 348 00:15:57,883 --> 00:15:59,363 Look at... Look at it, it's Terri! 349 00:15:59,363 --> 00:16:02,603 Oh. All right, Crab? All right, mate. All right, boy? 350 00:16:02,603 --> 00:16:03,843 Hello, Crabbie. 351 00:16:03,843 --> 00:16:05,683 Murder trying to find this gaff, wasn't it? 352 00:16:05,683 --> 00:16:07,803 Martin, mate, pull your trousers up there, pal. 353 00:16:07,803 --> 00:16:10,603 My mother's here now, pull your trousers up. What's that on your arm? 354 00:16:10,603 --> 00:16:13,163 It's the most romantic thing what someone can do for the person 355 00:16:13,163 --> 00:16:16,123 they love most with all their heart. What, get a tattoo of Robbie Savage? 356 00:16:16,123 --> 00:16:17,923 Martin, trousers, mate, seriously. 357 00:16:17,923 --> 00:16:19,843 I am not happy with you, you pervert. 358 00:16:19,843 --> 00:16:21,963 Mum, not in here if you don't mind, please, not in here. 359 00:16:21,963 --> 00:16:24,763 No, he's got me terrified to look in my phone, literally. 360 00:16:24,763 --> 00:16:27,163 Every time I get a WhatsApp from you, I get the fear. 361 00:16:27,163 --> 00:16:28,843 What have I done? The big willy man. 362 00:16:28,843 --> 00:16:31,323 No, Mum, not in here, this is a respectable establishment, 363 00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:33,723 these are gentlemen. I am livid here, Gary, I'm livid. 364 00:16:33,723 --> 00:16:36,683 If he comes to the wedding, I'm telling you now, there'll be uproar! 365 00:16:36,683 --> 00:16:38,403 Oi, mate, can I borrow your khazi? 366 00:16:38,403 --> 00:16:40,723 No, you can't, mate, you can't, no, Crabbie, seriously. 367 00:16:40,723 --> 00:16:42,763 I said before we came here, I said go to the toilet. 368 00:16:42,763 --> 00:16:44,163 I'm so sorry, Denise. 369 00:16:44,163 --> 00:16:45,923 I'm not very able with the phones. 370 00:16:45,923 --> 00:16:48,123 It's innocent wrong grouping, that's all it is, Mum. 371 00:16:48,123 --> 00:16:51,443 Oh, just don't, it's disgusting, you should be ashamed. Please forgive me. 372 00:16:51,443 --> 00:16:54,323 You'd genuinely feel more sincere if you just pulled your trousers up. 373 00:16:54,323 --> 00:16:56,563 Oi, that muppet Aaron is sorted. 374 00:16:56,563 --> 00:16:59,043 Winkle's going to smash his motor to pieces tonight. 375 00:16:59,043 --> 00:17:01,443 No, he isn't. Yes, he is. No, he isn't. Yes, he is. 376 00:17:01,443 --> 00:17:02,843 No, he isn't. 377 00:17:02,843 --> 00:17:04,323 No, get out! 378 00:17:04,323 --> 00:17:07,563 Get out now. Go! Get! Go and wait in the car! 379 00:17:07,563 --> 00:17:10,883 For now, can I just please enjoy the suit fitting, 380 00:17:10,883 --> 00:17:13,443 which I have been looking forward to my whole life? 381 00:17:22,403 --> 00:17:25,203 OK, that's it. I'm going to have to throw him a little lifeline - 382 00:17:25,203 --> 00:17:27,323 just in case there's an emergency or something. 383 00:17:29,203 --> 00:17:31,763 PHONE VIBRATES 384 00:17:42,123 --> 00:17:46,283 LAUGHTER AND INDISTINCT CONVERSATION 385 00:17:58,883 --> 00:18:02,003 PHONE RINGS OUT 386 00:18:03,403 --> 00:18:04,923 That's three times. 387 00:18:04,923 --> 00:18:07,603 Three times he ain't answered. 388 00:18:07,603 --> 00:18:10,443 Here, do you reckon he is going fully dark an' all? 389 00:18:10,443 --> 00:18:13,083 He's probably just got bored like we have. 390 00:18:13,083 --> 00:18:14,883 Babe, it takes as long as it takes. 391 00:18:14,883 --> 00:18:18,243 Just so you both know, I need a wee. 392 00:18:18,243 --> 00:18:20,683 Oh. Have you got a bottle? I haven't got a bottle. 393 00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:23,323 Have you got a bottle? I don't really want to do it in a bottle. 394 00:18:23,323 --> 00:18:25,923 Do you reckon you can get it in there? Got too much for that. 395 00:18:25,923 --> 00:18:29,683 No! No! No, no, no! 396 00:18:30,803 --> 00:18:33,123 This is not a piddle bus! 397 00:18:34,163 --> 00:18:38,123 This is insane. This has gone too far. What? Sitting in my car - pissing in my car! 398 00:18:38,123 --> 00:18:41,283 It's too far, mate! 399 00:18:41,283 --> 00:18:42,763 Right, we are going home. 400 00:18:47,963 --> 00:18:51,483 Hello! It's me, Mum. Let me in. 401 00:18:51,483 --> 00:18:54,203 No, you're all right. What do you want? 402 00:18:55,803 --> 00:18:58,963 Gone fully dark, haven't I? Got nowhere else to go, so... 403 00:19:00,283 --> 00:19:03,523 What stage are you at? Further than I've never been. 404 00:19:05,403 --> 00:19:07,043 You all right? Yes. 405 00:19:11,403 --> 00:19:13,963 No! Shitting hell! 406 00:19:16,243 --> 00:19:18,523 What's going on? Look, I've got some... 407 00:19:18,523 --> 00:19:20,603 What? 408 00:19:24,323 --> 00:19:27,483 I've got something to tell you. All right. 409 00:19:27,483 --> 00:19:30,763 Me and Martin...have finished. 410 00:19:30,763 --> 00:19:34,523 Oh, what's going on? I thought you was happy. I was! 411 00:19:34,523 --> 00:19:39,363 Like 70% happy. 412 00:19:39,363 --> 00:19:42,043 But I've met someone else. Ah! 413 00:19:42,043 --> 00:19:44,603 Of course you have. Here we go again. 414 00:19:44,603 --> 00:19:47,243 I mean, honestly, you not getting a bit old for all this caper? 415 00:19:47,243 --> 00:19:51,723 Well, this is the thing. This new fella is younger... 416 00:19:53,323 --> 00:19:55,083 ..and sexier. 417 00:19:57,723 --> 00:20:00,403 Go on, then, who is it? 418 00:19:57,723 --> 00:20:00,403 SHE SNIGGERS 419 00:20:02,923 --> 00:20:06,043 Why are you acting like a kid? What is going on? 420 00:20:06,043 --> 00:20:07,643 Oh, my God, it stinks in here, Mum. 421 00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:14,163 DISTANT CHEERING 422 00:20:17,603 --> 00:20:20,483 ALL: Whoa! 423 00:20:17,603 --> 00:20:20,483 CHEERING 424 00:20:22,843 --> 00:20:25,243 Hey! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! 425 00:20:26,803 --> 00:20:29,123 Sneaky Peeker! 426 00:20:26,803 --> 00:20:29,123 LAUGHTER 427 00:20:32,563 --> 00:20:37,203 What you looking at, guy? Keep yourself to yourself, mate! 428 00:20:37,203 --> 00:20:41,043 He's having another party, babe. He's having another party! 429 00:20:41,043 --> 00:20:42,843 And this one is the loudest one yet! 430 00:20:42,843 --> 00:20:47,483 Honestly, babe. Honestly? I'm bubbling. 431 00:20:47,483 --> 00:20:49,283 I'm bubbling, babe. 432 00:20:49,283 --> 00:20:51,363 I'm about to boil over, darling. 433 00:20:51,363 --> 00:20:54,363 I don't know what to do, because you're not here. 434 00:20:54,363 --> 00:20:56,803 I need you babe, I need you, 435 00:20:56,803 --> 00:20:59,483 so please, call me. 436 00:20:59,483 --> 00:21:01,003 Love you. 437 00:21:02,483 --> 00:21:04,403 DOORBELL RINGS 438 00:21:06,283 --> 00:21:09,243 You all right, Gary? I've got a noggin full of problems, mate, 439 00:21:09,243 --> 00:21:12,123 and I don't need you. Do you want to hear some good news? 440 00:21:12,123 --> 00:21:14,443 What good news? I've taken a lover. 441 00:21:14,443 --> 00:21:17,163 Really? What kind of bird's going to be knocking about with you? 442 00:21:17,163 --> 00:21:20,723 I'm now the official boyfriend of Jodie Simone - Terri's mother. 443 00:21:20,723 --> 00:21:23,723 Nah! No way. 444 00:21:23,723 --> 00:21:27,123 I knew you would do this, mate. I knew you'd do it. Any way you 445 00:21:27,123 --> 00:21:30,483 could get an invite to the wedding, you would. You're disgusting! 446 00:21:30,483 --> 00:21:33,403 No, Gal, our love is pure. 447 00:21:33,403 --> 00:21:36,843 I just want this to be a new start for us...as a family. 448 00:21:36,843 --> 00:21:39,683 You are not my family. Don't fight it, son. 449 00:21:40,803 --> 00:21:44,763 Stop calling me "son". You are not my dad. Stepdad. 450 00:21:44,763 --> 00:21:48,603 Let's not put labels on things. I'm going to do something about this. 451 00:21:50,043 --> 00:21:54,083 Wahey! It's Sneaky Peeker! What's up? 452 00:21:54,083 --> 00:21:56,203 I wasn't peeking, mate, I wasn't. 453 00:21:56,203 --> 00:21:58,563 There's a sparrow's nest at the back of the garden there. 454 00:21:58,563 --> 00:22:01,643 That's what I was looking at. Is that a tattoo of Meat Loaf 455 00:22:01,643 --> 00:22:04,043 on your arm, Gary? 456 00:22:04,043 --> 00:22:07,203 That is a tattoo of my beloved, Terri, and it is not for your 457 00:22:07,203 --> 00:22:10,323 eyes, so look away. None of you look at it. It's not for your eyes. 458 00:22:10,323 --> 00:22:12,323 I'm glad that you've heeded my warning 459 00:22:12,323 --> 00:22:15,563 and you've taking your partying ways away from this crescent. 460 00:22:15,563 --> 00:22:19,723 What? Not that it's any of your business, Gary, yeah? 461 00:22:19,723 --> 00:22:21,923 But we'll be back here for afters. 462 00:22:21,923 --> 00:22:24,483 But there's an agreement here on Butterchurn Crescent - 463 00:22:24,483 --> 00:22:27,523 an amnesty, if you will. There are no after-parties. 464 00:22:27,523 --> 00:22:30,603 What, an amnesty, yeah? Really, Gary? 465 00:22:32,403 --> 00:22:34,563 Why do you keep saying my name like it's funny? 466 00:22:34,563 --> 00:22:37,083 It's a normal name, mate. I'm just trying to warn you. 467 00:22:37,083 --> 00:22:38,923 What, are you threatening me? 468 00:22:41,003 --> 00:22:42,323 Nah. 469 00:22:42,323 --> 00:22:45,963 Nah, mate, I'm not threatening you, mate. 470 00:22:45,963 --> 00:22:50,803 This is just a warning that comes before the actual threat, OK? 471 00:22:50,803 --> 00:22:52,963 That's what people who are threatening say. 472 00:22:52,963 --> 00:22:54,323 No, no, this is like... 473 00:22:54,323 --> 00:22:57,363 So there's a warning that comes before the threat and that's what 474 00:22:57,363 --> 00:23:00,323 I'm doing to you, mate. So this is a friendly warning, if anything. 475 00:23:00,323 --> 00:23:02,923 Well, shouldn't the friendly warning come before the official 476 00:23:02,923 --> 00:23:06,483 warning and then the threat? I don't... Honestly, I don't know. 477 00:23:06,483 --> 00:23:09,123 All I'm saying to you, mate, is just please don't bring your 478 00:23:09,123 --> 00:23:12,523 after-party back here. Please, mate. 479 00:23:12,523 --> 00:23:13,883 Nah, mate! 480 00:23:13,883 --> 00:23:17,443 We make this! Ah, let's go! 481 00:23:17,443 --> 00:23:19,803 My guys! 482 00:23:19,803 --> 00:23:21,363 Eh! Too much! 483 00:23:21,363 --> 00:23:24,163 Do you want a hand, son? Nah. 484 00:23:24,163 --> 00:23:25,923 Nah, I got this, Winkle. 485 00:23:37,243 --> 00:23:40,203 MUSIC: Bucky Done Gun by MIA 486 00:23:40,203 --> 00:23:42,243 # They're coming through the window 487 00:23:42,243 --> 00:23:44,043 # They're coming through the door 488 00:23:44,043 --> 00:23:46,043 # They're busting down the big wall 489 00:23:46,043 --> 00:23:48,203 # And sounding the horn 490 00:23:48,203 --> 00:23:50,203 # We want the bucky done gun 491 00:23:50,203 --> 00:23:52,003 # We want that fire done burn 492 00:23:52,003 --> 00:23:53,963 # We want the bucky done gun 493 00:23:53,963 --> 00:23:55,963 # Get crackin' Get, get crackin' 494 00:23:55,963 --> 00:23:57,763 # We want the bucky done gun 495 00:23:57,763 --> 00:24:01,083 # We want that fire done burn We want the bucky done gun 496 00:24:01,083 --> 00:24:04,123 # Get crackin' Get, get crackin'. # 497 00:24:04,123 --> 00:24:06,243 Sorry, you didn't explain what the hell is going on. 498 00:24:06,243 --> 00:24:09,883 Time to hand out some street justice. 499 00:24:09,883 --> 00:24:12,923 What... What does that even mean? 500 00:24:12,923 --> 00:24:14,843 I mean, they've gone out, the music's stopped. 501 00:24:14,843 --> 00:24:16,883 That is all part of the plan. 502 00:24:16,883 --> 00:24:19,043 Yeah, what is the plan? You haven't told me. 503 00:24:19,043 --> 00:24:22,803 Less talk, more action. 504 00:24:22,803 --> 00:24:24,363 Smash car. 505 00:24:24,363 --> 00:24:26,763 So the plan is to smash his car up? 506 00:24:26,763 --> 00:24:29,203 Exactly. 507 00:24:29,203 --> 00:24:32,603 Smash...car! 508 00:24:32,603 --> 00:24:34,843 You... Are you all right, Gary? 509 00:24:34,843 --> 00:24:36,483 Smash cars! 510 00:24:36,483 --> 00:24:38,963 You sound a bit... Well, you sound a bit like the Hulk. 511 00:24:38,963 --> 00:24:41,603 Ugh! Sick in my bum! 512 00:24:41,603 --> 00:24:44,003 Yeah, OK? Agh-agh-aagh! 513 00:24:44,003 --> 00:24:46,603 Gary, you all right, mate? Agh! 514 00:24:46,603 --> 00:24:48,643 DISTORTED: Can you hear me, Gary? 515 00:24:48,643 --> 00:24:51,803 My name Gaky! Are you all right? Hey, put that down. 516 00:24:51,803 --> 00:24:53,363 Smash car! Gary! 517 00:24:53,363 --> 00:24:54,803 Gary? 518 00:24:54,803 --> 00:24:57,323 HIS VOICE DISTORTS AND ECHOES 519 00:25:06,243 --> 00:25:08,923 Hey, it's all right. Shh-shh-shh-shh. 520 00:25:09,923 --> 00:25:11,923 Gave us a scare there, babes. 521 00:25:11,923 --> 00:25:13,283 Gave myself a scare. 522 00:25:13,283 --> 00:25:16,123 I'm really sorry, babe. I should have been here for you. 523 00:25:17,643 --> 00:25:20,723 I was too busy trying to punish you and I shouldn't have done. 524 00:25:20,723 --> 00:25:22,443 I feel really rotten. 525 00:25:22,443 --> 00:25:26,043 Don't dare blame yourself. Do not dare blame yourself. 526 00:25:26,043 --> 00:25:27,883 It's my doing. 527 00:25:27,883 --> 00:25:33,083 I have been playing fast and loose with my health for far too long. 528 00:25:33,083 --> 00:25:36,123 From now on, I will be Chill-play Gary. 529 00:25:36,123 --> 00:25:37,523 Yeah. 530 00:25:39,803 --> 00:25:41,803 What's that there, babe? 531 00:25:44,523 --> 00:25:48,163 Oh! That's supposed to be me, is it? Yeah. 532 00:25:48,163 --> 00:25:51,563 Oh, OK. Um... All right, I'm sure we can do 533 00:25:51,563 --> 00:25:54,603 something about that - like, you know, shade it in or block it out, 534 00:25:54,603 --> 00:25:56,003 or just, we'll get rid. 535 00:25:56,003 --> 00:25:58,923 You bloused it, then? A panic attack? 536 00:25:58,923 --> 00:26:00,883 They're the ones that kill you, Mum. 537 00:26:00,883 --> 00:26:03,483 They're far more dangerous than any heart attack. 538 00:26:03,483 --> 00:26:06,243 PHONE RINGS 539 00:26:03,483 --> 00:26:06,243 Oh, my life. 540 00:26:06,243 --> 00:26:08,723 Oh, it's Martin again. Ugh! 541 00:26:08,723 --> 00:26:10,883 He wants neutering, the louse. 542 00:26:10,883 --> 00:26:15,803 My darling? Yeah. I want you to speak to our wedding planner, Kay, 543 00:26:15,803 --> 00:26:19,563 and you tell her to remove Martin Fudd 544 00:26:19,563 --> 00:26:21,363 from the wedding WhatsApp group. 545 00:26:22,363 --> 00:26:24,963 Oh, babe, she'll be so made up. Thank you. 546 00:26:24,963 --> 00:26:28,523 Oh, I love you. Love you more. 547 00:26:28,523 --> 00:26:31,123 I'm like a chair without legs without you. 548 00:26:31,123 --> 00:26:33,003 DOORBELL RINGS 549 00:26:33,003 --> 00:26:34,403 Oh, I'll get that. 550 00:26:37,683 --> 00:26:41,443 Oh, hello. Yeah, is Gary there, please? 551 00:26:41,443 --> 00:26:43,603 Yeah, I'll grab him for you. 552 00:26:58,203 --> 00:27:01,083 What do you want? Someone's, er... 553 00:27:01,083 --> 00:27:03,883 Someone's smashed up me motor 554 00:27:03,883 --> 00:27:05,843 and they've stole my cat. 555 00:27:05,843 --> 00:27:07,963 Do you know anything? 556 00:27:07,963 --> 00:27:10,723 Did you see anything, or, like, I think, maybe, 557 00:27:10,723 --> 00:27:12,483 as, like, the crescent warden, 558 00:27:12,483 --> 00:27:14,963 someone might have reported something? 559 00:27:17,243 --> 00:27:19,603 I know who smashed up your car, mate. 560 00:27:19,603 --> 00:27:23,203 And I know who took your cat. Who-who... Who was it, bruv? 561 00:27:23,203 --> 00:27:26,123 It was me. I did it. 562 00:27:26,123 --> 00:27:29,603 What...? You're serious? Yeah. 563 00:27:29,603 --> 00:27:31,203 See, this is my serious face. 564 00:27:32,803 --> 00:27:37,763 What...? You think you can... you can do something like that to me 565 00:27:37,763 --> 00:27:39,003 and get away with it? 566 00:27:39,003 --> 00:27:41,523 Oh, I know I'm going to get away with it, mate. 567 00:27:41,523 --> 00:27:43,683 See, this is what your problem is, right? 568 00:27:43,683 --> 00:27:45,403 This is your problem. 569 00:27:45,403 --> 00:27:47,843 In a domestic dispute such as this, 570 00:27:47,843 --> 00:27:50,603 what one needs is weaknesses, right? 571 00:27:50,603 --> 00:27:54,363 Now, in this circumstance, for you, is I'm pretty sure no-one saw 572 00:27:54,363 --> 00:27:57,763 a thing, mate. I can almost guarantee that. 573 00:27:57,763 --> 00:28:00,843 You've gone down like a shitty penny round here, mate. 574 00:28:00,843 --> 00:28:05,403 So get your stuff and get out of Butterchurn Crescent, mate. 575 00:28:05,403 --> 00:28:07,003 Be gone. 576 00:28:07,003 --> 00:28:10,443 I'll have your cat sent along safely and soundly, 577 00:28:10,443 --> 00:28:13,563 but you've got to go, boy! Go on! 578 00:28:13,563 --> 00:28:16,883 You look after her, yeah? You have my word on that. 579 00:28:16,883 --> 00:28:20,523 Go on. Go on mate, go on. Go on, off you go. 580 00:28:20,523 --> 00:28:23,443 HE WHISTLES 581 00:28:23,443 --> 00:28:27,163 You all right, boy? Mate, honestly - well done, smashing his car up. 582 00:28:27,163 --> 00:28:29,283 I've just done a deal with the man, yeah? 583 00:28:29,283 --> 00:28:32,603 You've just got to get that cat back to him safely. That's the deal. Well done, Dad. 584 00:28:32,603 --> 00:28:36,403 What cat? I didn't touch his cat. Just smashed his motor to pieces.