1 00:00:09,483 --> 00:00:11,003 # King fire! # 2 00:00:11,003 --> 00:00:13,003 Top grifting, that, babe. 3 00:00:13,003 --> 00:00:16,003 You getting that on your Insta? Mate, look at it! 4 00:00:16,003 --> 00:00:18,163 This is beautiful. Mm-hm. 5 00:00:18,163 --> 00:00:22,403 That, for me, is the perfect carvery plate. 6 00:00:22,403 --> 00:00:25,803 Honestly, it's like I don't want to eat it, but I will, 7 00:00:25,803 --> 00:00:27,243 because I'm starving. Mm. Yeah. 8 00:00:27,243 --> 00:00:30,723 I hate it here. The beef's gone already. Gannets! 9 00:00:30,723 --> 00:00:34,203 Piling up their plates. Channel 5 people. 10 00:00:34,203 --> 00:00:36,803 Here you are, boy, give us a slice of moo. Ah, ah! No, no. 11 00:00:36,803 --> 00:00:38,323 Ah, ah. No, you don't, mate. 12 00:00:38,323 --> 00:00:39,683 You need your strength, Ted, 13 00:00:39,683 --> 00:00:41,803 for your Ging Gang Goolie-ing this weekend. 14 00:00:41,803 --> 00:00:44,483 His what, what, whateying? I'm going to get my orienteering 15 00:00:44,483 --> 00:00:48,003 activity badge, Grandad. That's it, that's it. That's the one, mate. 16 00:00:48,003 --> 00:00:51,203 He loves all this camping stuff. Yeah. Bit muggy for us, 17 00:00:51,203 --> 00:00:54,203 isn't it, really? It's like all BO and smoky clothes. 18 00:00:54,203 --> 00:00:56,083 But the boy, he loves it, don't you, son? 19 00:00:56,083 --> 00:00:58,043 There's nothing wrong with navigation. 20 00:00:58,043 --> 00:00:59,923 Just cos YOU can't read a compass. 21 00:00:59,923 --> 00:01:02,243 He comes from a long line of great explorers, 22 00:01:02,243 --> 00:01:05,483 founders of new frontiers and conquerors. 23 00:01:05,483 --> 00:01:07,963 In fact, your great-great-great-grandfather, 24 00:01:07,963 --> 00:01:12,083 Philip King, he always said we was descended from nobility. 25 00:01:12,083 --> 00:01:15,443 Yeah? That's sick! I got that pencil-neck Robin, 26 00:01:15,443 --> 00:01:18,163 your mate, coming round tomorrow. He's been looking into 27 00:01:18,163 --> 00:01:21,803 our family lineage. He's come up with a bit of new information. 28 00:01:21,803 --> 00:01:26,883 Apparently, there is a King family crest. Family crest? Fam-fam... 29 00:01:26,883 --> 00:01:30,723 Get that as a tattoo, won't I? Yeah? Like a humongous 30 00:01:30,723 --> 00:01:36,603 back piece, and above it be the faces of our forefathers, 31 00:01:36,603 --> 00:01:38,403 on the heads of butterflies. 32 00:01:38,403 --> 00:01:41,523 And then, running down from my shoulders 33 00:01:41,523 --> 00:01:45,243 to my bum cleft will be this serene and beautiful waterfall, 34 00:01:45,243 --> 00:01:48,563 and peeking out from behind it will be some of my heroes 35 00:01:48,563 --> 00:01:51,883 from my life, like David Beckham and Forrest Gump, 36 00:01:51,883 --> 00:01:54,683 and Gary Lineker, maybe, like, as a mermaid. 37 00:01:54,683 --> 00:01:59,363 And then, at the bottom, just above my panty line, will be 38 00:01:59,363 --> 00:02:02,563 our old Alsatians, Lottie and Simon. 39 00:02:02,563 --> 00:02:04,563 Lottie and Simon? 40 00:02:04,563 --> 00:02:07,643 Oh, that's nice. Hold on, I thought you said you'd always get one of me. 41 00:02:07,643 --> 00:02:10,163 Yeah, still one of you, definitely, as well, babe, yeah. 42 00:02:10,163 --> 00:02:12,763 Any space left, or...? Loads of space. I'm a big old unit. 43 00:02:12,763 --> 00:02:16,483 Loads of... Pick a place, pick a place, anywhere. All right. 44 00:02:16,483 --> 00:02:19,043 I'd like to make a toast...of honour. 45 00:02:21,003 --> 00:02:23,163 To the Kings. ALL: To the Kings! 46 00:02:30,803 --> 00:02:33,043 Ahem, what you doing? Just doing a bit of cleaning, 47 00:02:33,043 --> 00:02:35,923 before the cleaner gets here. Oh, that makes sense. That makes... 48 00:02:35,923 --> 00:02:37,763 That makes... You know what I'm doing? 49 00:02:37,763 --> 00:02:42,803 I am conducting an investigation, as I speak. Oh, yeah? 50 00:02:42,803 --> 00:02:44,883 I put a purple in here a couple of days back. 51 00:02:44,883 --> 00:02:47,363 Have you used it, darling? And be honest with me. 52 00:02:47,363 --> 00:02:49,763 I ain't touched nothing. Then we have let a fox 53 00:02:49,763 --> 00:02:51,603 into the chicken coop. 54 00:02:51,603 --> 00:02:53,843 I wonder who that could be. 55 00:02:53,843 --> 00:02:56,923 Oh, babe, it can't be Angela, she's our mate. But she ain't 56 00:02:56,923 --> 00:03:00,963 our mate, is she, Tel? She's a cleaner what's become a mate. 57 00:03:00,963 --> 00:03:04,603 I said to you, "Don't get close to the cleaner, the work will suffer." 58 00:03:04,603 --> 00:03:06,123 But, babe, she ain't no tea leaf, 59 00:03:06,123 --> 00:03:08,963 there's got to be another explanation. Then explain away, 60 00:03:08,963 --> 00:03:11,243 if you're so good at investigations, wise owl. 61 00:03:11,243 --> 00:03:14,203 Explain away - who else could it have been? All right. The milkman? 62 00:03:14,203 --> 00:03:15,963 Maybe he came through the letterbox. 63 00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:19,723 No, you're right. It's my curse, Gal, I'm just far too trusting. 64 00:03:19,723 --> 00:03:21,363 No, you are absolutely right, 65 00:03:21,363 --> 00:03:23,523 that light-fingered cow has had her grubby mitts 66 00:03:23,523 --> 00:03:25,763 all over it and had it through the long grass, in't she? 67 00:03:25,763 --> 00:03:27,283 And what are you going to do about it? 68 00:03:27,283 --> 00:03:29,803 Oh, don't worry, I'll deal with it. She's probably been saying things 69 00:03:29,803 --> 00:03:30,963 about you behind your back too. 70 00:03:30,963 --> 00:03:33,403 How do you know? She been talking about me? What's she been saying? 71 00:03:33,403 --> 00:03:35,323 I just know thieves, babe, and thieves are also like 72 00:03:35,323 --> 00:03:38,043 two-faced, horrible people behind people's backs. 73 00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:40,003 BELL RINGS Thank you for that information, 74 00:03:40,003 --> 00:03:43,243 it's just riling me up even more. Serious, deal with it. Fridge. 75 00:03:49,483 --> 00:03:52,643 Angela the cleaner's a tea leaf. What? She's a thief, mate. 76 00:03:52,643 --> 00:03:55,443 Big, stinking, old thief. Does she do your house? 77 00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:58,323 Yes, she does. YOU recommended her. Sack her at once. 78 00:03:58,323 --> 00:04:01,043 She cannot be trusted. OK, well, yes, I'll think about it. 79 00:04:01,043 --> 00:04:03,603 Look, I was just wondering, do you have any camping chairs 80 00:04:03,603 --> 00:04:06,123 I could borrow for Ryan's scout trip? What, you're going? 81 00:04:06,123 --> 00:04:08,963 Are they allowing dads to go? Well, it's my first year, you know. 82 00:04:08,963 --> 00:04:11,843 I thought I'd do something nice with Ryan, just get a bit hands-on. 83 00:04:11,843 --> 00:04:13,803 And, er, also, erm... 84 00:04:15,403 --> 00:04:17,603 I also found out that, er, 85 00:04:17,603 --> 00:04:19,923 our friend next door's going, so... 86 00:04:19,923 --> 00:04:22,083 Really? Yeah. OK. 87 00:04:22,083 --> 00:04:25,483 Because he is too old to be a scout, so something's going on, 88 00:04:25,483 --> 00:04:28,443 definitely, mate. Well, he's obviously not the scout, Gary. 89 00:04:28,443 --> 00:04:31,403 His younger brother goes. But apparently, he's incredible. 90 00:04:31,403 --> 00:04:33,563 All the kids love him, he can do everything. 91 00:04:33,563 --> 00:04:36,403 He's like a real-life action hero, does Krav Maga 92 00:04:36,403 --> 00:04:39,523 and all that kind of thing. I get it, I know why you're really here. 93 00:04:39,523 --> 00:04:42,083 You're terrified, you're macaroning in your pants, 94 00:04:42,083 --> 00:04:44,243 and you need me to come with you. 95 00:04:44,243 --> 00:04:46,963 I'm not macaroning in my pants, Gary, 96 00:04:46,963 --> 00:04:50,723 I just want some chairs. Stuart, get real. 97 00:04:50,723 --> 00:04:53,643 The only way you're going to defeat him is if I come along. 98 00:04:53,643 --> 00:04:54,923 Look, I'll be honest, Gary, 99 00:04:54,923 --> 00:04:57,203 I didn't really have you down as the orienteering type, so... 100 00:04:57,203 --> 00:04:59,443 Look, what I'm saying to you is this, right? 101 00:04:59,443 --> 00:05:04,283 Exploring runs through my veins and courses through my bloodline. 102 00:05:04,283 --> 00:05:07,363 The Kings will prevail. The Kings will conquer. 103 00:05:07,363 --> 00:05:09,603 The Kings will find things. 104 00:05:09,603 --> 00:05:12,443 I will be your leader. I'm only coming, actually, 105 00:05:12,443 --> 00:05:14,443 if I can be your leader. Can I be leader? 106 00:05:15,643 --> 00:05:18,563 Have you got any camping chairs? We haven't got any camping stuff. 107 00:05:18,563 --> 00:05:21,563 Great. OK, so this is a massive waste of time, thank you very much. 108 00:05:21,563 --> 00:05:24,323 Babe! Can I go camping with Stuart and the boys? 109 00:05:24,323 --> 00:05:26,483 Yeah, that's fine, babe. Thank you. 110 00:05:27,683 --> 00:05:30,003 When do we go? Well, we're leaving at eight, so... 111 00:05:30,003 --> 00:05:32,963 I'm going to pick you up at half seven. Well, we're leaving at eight, 112 00:05:32,963 --> 00:05:35,283 so that's half an hour too early. Be ready at half seven, Stuart, 113 00:05:35,283 --> 00:05:39,523 and I'm not taking any whining. Tell Ryan as well, buck up his ideas. 114 00:05:39,523 --> 00:05:42,283 You're going to be waiting outside for half an hour Gary, so... 115 00:05:45,603 --> 00:05:49,323 MUSIC: Iron Eagle (Never Say Die) by King Kobra 116 00:05:55,643 --> 00:05:59,683 # I can do anything when I choose 117 00:05:59,683 --> 00:06:03,763 # Got everything, but I got nothing to lose 118 00:06:03,763 --> 00:06:07,243 # Never say die, iron eagle 119 00:06:07,243 --> 00:06:10,683 # Nothing's forever, now or ever 120 00:06:10,683 --> 00:06:13,323 # Never say die... # 121 00:06:13,323 --> 00:06:15,043 Hey, Marcus. Hey, Howie. 122 00:06:16,123 --> 00:06:18,443 Bit too old for scouts, eh, mate? 123 00:06:18,443 --> 00:06:21,163 What you talking about? I'm just helping out. 124 00:06:21,163 --> 00:06:24,043 I'm teaching these kids some survival skills. Ah, 125 00:06:24,043 --> 00:06:26,403 survival skills, eh? You should probably know that 126 00:06:26,403 --> 00:06:30,283 a couple of years ago, I met Bear Grylls at the Esso garage. 127 00:06:30,283 --> 00:06:34,083 King of the scouts. Spent 60 seconds with the geezer, 128 00:06:34,083 --> 00:06:37,123 but he imparted, like, a lifetime of wisdom upon my brain. All right, 129 00:06:37,123 --> 00:06:39,363 all right, just so you know, yeah? 130 00:06:39,363 --> 00:06:43,523 I was in the Paras for six years. This... This ain't a game to me. 131 00:06:43,523 --> 00:06:45,843 I didn't actually know that, so... 132 00:06:45,843 --> 00:06:50,403 What's with this vest? Tactical war vest from Call of Duty, 133 00:06:50,403 --> 00:06:53,483 official merchandise store. CoD. There's nothing in them flaps. 134 00:06:53,483 --> 00:06:56,163 Yeah, it's because you don't have stuff in the flaps until 135 00:06:56,163 --> 00:06:59,203 you're out on the trail, mate. You know, mud samples and leaves and... 136 00:06:59,203 --> 00:07:02,243 You're a mug. What? 137 00:06:59,203 --> 00:07:02,243 BELL RINGS 138 00:07:02,243 --> 00:07:05,723 OK, let's fall into our two troops. 139 00:07:05,723 --> 00:07:08,483 Troop A, on my left, led by Aaron. 140 00:07:08,483 --> 00:07:14,443 Troop B, let by Bagheera, with our new dads, Stuart and Gary. Mate, 141 00:07:14,443 --> 00:07:16,603 don't worry about Bagheera, don't need Bagheera. 142 00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:19,043 Bagheera will offer you the experience you don't have. 143 00:07:19,043 --> 00:07:20,323 If he don't have a Bagheera, 144 00:07:20,323 --> 00:07:23,603 I don't want no Bagheera, so be gone. I don't need no Bagheera. 145 00:07:23,603 --> 00:07:25,763 You take a Bagheera, seriously, Gary. 146 00:07:25,763 --> 00:07:29,043 Don't Bagheera me off, mate. Do not Bagheera me off, right? 147 00:07:29,043 --> 00:07:30,523 You're a clown. 148 00:07:29,043 --> 00:07:30,523 STUART LAUGHS 149 00:07:30,523 --> 00:07:33,283 What you laughing at? Nothing. OK, pick teams. 150 00:07:33,283 --> 00:07:35,403 I bagsy Big Lee Wallace. 151 00:07:35,403 --> 00:07:38,403 The troops have already been decided. No fair, mate! 152 00:07:38,403 --> 00:07:40,763 No fair there! Don't cry, yeah? 153 00:07:40,763 --> 00:07:44,083 We need an ice-cold killer like Big Lee. Yeah, it's up to Lee. 154 00:07:44,083 --> 00:07:46,883 Lee, mate, 50 quid, trainers of your choice. OK, er, 155 00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:50,403 troops, check your gear. Remember, no phones allowed. 156 00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:52,723 We all go on my Viking horn. 157 00:07:52,723 --> 00:07:55,883 Right, guys, guys, come on, fall in. Fall in, everyone, now. 158 00:07:55,883 --> 00:07:57,243 OK. Gather round. 159 00:07:57,243 --> 00:08:00,403 No, not you, mate. Bagheera, spy. Get lost, mate. Sorry. Sorry. 160 00:08:00,403 --> 00:08:03,923 OK, guys, what I need is fire, and let's just kill the other team 161 00:08:03,923 --> 00:08:06,603 and slaughter them. No, we're not killing anyone, Gary. 162 00:08:06,603 --> 00:08:11,403 Mate, honestly, dandelions don't win races, lions do. What?! 163 00:08:11,403 --> 00:08:13,323 HORN BLOWS 164 00:08:13,323 --> 00:08:15,563 What? Quick, guys, guys, guys, guys! 165 00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:19,163 Go! Go, Lee! Go, Lee! 166 00:08:19,163 --> 00:08:20,803 Agh! 167 00:08:20,803 --> 00:08:23,603 Run, Lee! Run! 168 00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:27,003 Run, Lee! Go on, Big Lee! 169 00:08:27,003 --> 00:08:28,443 SHE SLURPS 170 00:08:31,083 --> 00:08:33,923 Why have you got a blazer on? Well, for the pencil-necks. 171 00:08:33,923 --> 00:08:37,163 Big occasion, innit? Thought I'd better dress the part. 172 00:08:37,163 --> 00:08:38,643 Bit nervous, as it goes, Den. 173 00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:40,683 They'll be doing that stupid laugh thing they do 174 00:08:40,683 --> 00:08:41,763 when we answer the door. 175 00:08:41,763 --> 00:08:43,563 What are they even laughing about? 176 00:08:43,563 --> 00:08:45,203 DOORBELL RINGS 177 00:08:43,563 --> 00:08:45,203 That's them. 178 00:08:49,003 --> 00:08:51,003 Hello, come in. 179 00:08:49,003 --> 00:08:51,003 THEY LAUGH 180 00:08:51,003 --> 00:08:52,923 Come in. Straight through. 181 00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:58,203 THEY LAUGH 182 00:08:58,203 --> 00:09:01,963 I'll put the kettle on. Oh, do you have English breakfast tea? 183 00:09:01,963 --> 00:09:05,083 What, normal tea? Erm... What you got there, then? Er, 184 00:09:05,083 --> 00:09:08,203 Robin's fussy with his biscuits. Stick them on a plate, Den. 185 00:09:08,203 --> 00:09:11,643 Right, Rob, what you got for me, mate? I present to you, sire, 186 00:09:11,643 --> 00:09:13,563 the King family tree package. 187 00:09:13,563 --> 00:09:16,603 In this ring-binder folder stirs the legacies of your ancestors 188 00:09:16,603 --> 00:09:19,803 and, my word, it's a hell of a... Oh, I'm livid! Oh, I'm seething! 189 00:09:19,803 --> 00:09:22,123 I'm on one, people. We've got to Chub that door, Den. 190 00:09:22,123 --> 00:09:24,043 You out of Frosties again? What? 191 00:09:24,043 --> 00:09:26,043 No. Actually, glad you're both here. 192 00:09:26,043 --> 00:09:29,883 Angela, the cleaner, has been thieving, having it right off! 193 00:09:29,883 --> 00:09:32,763 Stole a score out of our money jar. She is a diamond. 194 00:09:32,763 --> 00:09:35,643 What evidence have you got? Loads, actually. Like what? Like... 195 00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:37,803 Pfft! All of the things, actually. 196 00:09:37,803 --> 00:09:40,683 For, eg, those, those, those new Ugg boots she's been wearing, 197 00:09:40,683 --> 00:09:43,483 I mean, they couldn't have been cheap, and she keeps rattling on 198 00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:46,363 about that new inflatable hot tub of hers. I mean, all that 199 00:09:46,363 --> 00:09:48,603 on a cleaner's wage! I mean, drop me out! 200 00:09:48,603 --> 00:09:51,683 Shock, horror, outrage! Don't get distracted, Rob. 201 00:09:51,683 --> 00:09:54,003 Let's focus on this, yeah? You have got her doing 202 00:09:54,003 --> 00:09:57,083 the whole crescent, Tel. You said Chloe recommended her. She did. 203 00:09:57,083 --> 00:09:58,923 She said she was amazing. 204 00:09:57,083 --> 00:09:58,923 TERRI GASPS 205 00:09:58,923 --> 00:10:03,723 Here, do you think she's in on it? Like some sort of Fagin character, 206 00:10:03,723 --> 00:10:07,443 sending out a crew of motley old birds, just thieving for her. 207 00:10:07,443 --> 00:10:09,843 Terri, you need to be sure about this. Oh, 208 00:10:09,843 --> 00:10:11,483 I am as sure as eggs, mate, 209 00:10:11,483 --> 00:10:14,563 but I need more evidence, all right? I need you to get back to your gaff 210 00:10:14,563 --> 00:10:17,563 and do a deep sweep, and if there is so much as a hairpin missing, 211 00:10:17,563 --> 00:10:20,163 I want to know about it. Don't worry, Annie darling. Oh... 212 00:10:20,163 --> 00:10:22,323 By the time I'm finished with that silly old sort, 213 00:10:22,323 --> 00:10:25,283 the only thing she'll be cleaning out is her own prison khazi! 214 00:10:25,283 --> 00:10:26,963 SHE SNIFFS 215 00:10:25,283 --> 00:10:26,963 Tatty-bye. 216 00:10:34,403 --> 00:10:36,203 Gary. Gary. 217 00:10:36,203 --> 00:10:37,843 Company halt! 218 00:10:37,843 --> 00:10:39,603 What? Don't you think we may have taken 219 00:10:39,603 --> 00:10:41,483 the longest possible route here? 220 00:10:41,483 --> 00:10:44,323 I'll have no more negativity upon this course. 221 00:10:44,323 --> 00:10:48,203 It's not negativity, Gary. We are lost. We're in the woods. 222 00:10:48,203 --> 00:10:51,443 You're always lost in the woods. That's the whole point of the woods. 223 00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:54,603 That's why they was invented. Absolutely not the point of 224 00:10:54,603 --> 00:10:57,003 the woods, Gary. Secondly, they weren't invented. 225 00:10:57,003 --> 00:10:59,563 How did they get here, then? Did they just magically appear 226 00:10:59,563 --> 00:11:01,803 on the planet?! Ridi... I'm so cold, Dad. 227 00:11:01,803 --> 00:11:05,083 Please, can we just set up camp here? We make camp here. 228 00:11:05,083 --> 00:11:08,003 I am going to go and find some firewood. Stuart, obviously, 229 00:11:08,003 --> 00:11:11,283 in charge of living quarters, as he is the master of camping. 230 00:11:11,283 --> 00:11:14,483 I don't know the first thing about camping. Really, Stu, mate? 231 00:11:14,483 --> 00:11:16,963 You spend your whole life dressed in hiking boots, 232 00:11:16,963 --> 00:11:20,483 a fleece and a soft-shell gilet. Doesn't mean I'm good at camping, 233 00:11:20,483 --> 00:11:23,123 Gary, it's just what I choose to wear. Life lesson. Shh, shh. 234 00:11:23,123 --> 00:11:25,443 Life lesson. Come on, guys. It's not life... Ryan. 235 00:11:25,443 --> 00:11:27,283 Everyone gather round, please. Big Lee, bring it in. 236 00:11:27,283 --> 00:11:29,763 Life lesson, life lesson. 237 00:11:29,763 --> 00:11:34,803 Beware of a wolf in sheep's clothing 238 00:11:34,803 --> 00:11:38,603 or, indeed, a man who looks like he knows about camping 239 00:11:38,603 --> 00:11:41,643 because he's dressed in camping clothes. Sorry, what is this lesson, 240 00:11:41,643 --> 00:11:44,683 Gary? Apart from being disturbing. I guess what I'm trying to say is, 241 00:11:44,683 --> 00:11:48,603 be wary of people what are wearing clothes that deceive you into 242 00:11:48,603 --> 00:11:52,443 what their hobbies actually are. OK, Gary, er, do you play polo? 243 00:11:52,443 --> 00:11:54,683 No, mate, why would I play...? That's a stupid question. 244 00:11:54,683 --> 00:11:56,723 Well, you're always in polo shirts, aren't you? 245 00:11:56,723 --> 00:11:58,843 That's not why they're called that. They are, Dad. 246 00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:01,563 They literally have a symbol of a man playing polo on them. 247 00:12:01,563 --> 00:12:04,123 Oh, that's got to hurt, that's your own son there, Gary. 248 00:12:04,123 --> 00:12:06,243 Yeah, OK, mate. Can we stop arguing, please, and sit down? 249 00:12:06,243 --> 00:12:09,083 My legs are starting to hurt. That is the first sensible thing 250 00:12:09,083 --> 00:12:11,003 you've said all day, actually. Ryan, ignore it. 251 00:12:11,003 --> 00:12:13,523 It's not the first sensible thing he's said! OK, lovely kid. 252 00:12:13,523 --> 00:12:14,643 Love you, mate. 253 00:12:14,643 --> 00:12:17,963 You've been brilliant at taking orders and following instructions. 254 00:12:17,963 --> 00:12:21,203 And what I like about Ryan is, his expectations of life are low. Fine. 255 00:12:21,203 --> 00:12:24,123 All right, boys, take a rest, take a minute. Boys, take a minute, 256 00:12:24,123 --> 00:12:27,323 have a rest. I'm talking here, Gary. It's confusing for them if you... 257 00:12:27,323 --> 00:12:30,203 They see me as the leader, not you. Right, OK, Gary... Look, guys, 258 00:12:30,203 --> 00:12:32,763 just rest up, we're going to set up camp to... 259 00:12:32,763 --> 00:12:34,443 Agh... Agh! Stuart! 260 00:12:34,443 --> 00:12:37,723 Tumble! Man down! Stuart Williams is down! Stop pulling! 261 00:12:37,723 --> 00:12:40,323 You're not supposed to pull someone who's injured, Gary! 262 00:12:40,323 --> 00:12:43,043 You've taken a fall. You're in the woods, mate, you're in the woods. 263 00:12:43,043 --> 00:12:45,163 I know where I am, Gary. OK. You all right? 264 00:12:45,163 --> 00:12:47,923 Yes, I think I've twisted my ankle. OK. OK, mate. 265 00:12:47,923 --> 00:12:51,363 Life lesson, life lesson. What?! 266 00:12:51,363 --> 00:12:54,683 Beware of slippery rocks, what lies... Enough life lessons, OK?! 267 00:12:54,683 --> 00:12:57,403 I seriously think I've turned my ankle! So, you still... 268 00:12:57,403 --> 00:12:59,883 You are still a part of this squadron? Well, yeah. 269 00:12:59,883 --> 00:13:02,563 Otherwise, I just... I just, what, I just live by this tree? 270 00:13:02,563 --> 00:13:05,203 OK, Stuart is now an invalid, that is a fact. 271 00:13:05,203 --> 00:13:09,643 He is our weakest member of our team. From now on, Big Lee Wallace 272 00:13:09,643 --> 00:13:12,843 is my number two. OK, let's go and make a camp. 273 00:13:12,843 --> 00:13:16,123 Stuart, you just sit there and think about what you've done, mate. What?! 274 00:13:16,123 --> 00:13:18,763 Come on, Frank. Come on, mate, let's get that tuck box open. 275 00:13:18,763 --> 00:13:21,003 Ahem... So, broadly speaking, 276 00:13:21,003 --> 00:13:24,203 the surname King means ruler, represents loyalty, 277 00:13:24,203 --> 00:13:27,683 truth, achievement in battle, wisdom. They are leaders. 278 00:13:27,683 --> 00:13:30,803 Excellent, Rob, quite right. And they are all large, powerful men, 279 00:13:30,803 --> 00:13:33,603 with huge hands - or the King hands, as we call them. 280 00:13:33,603 --> 00:13:36,643 My grandad's hands were so big, when I was a baby, he'd toss me 281 00:13:36,643 --> 00:13:41,363 from palm to palm, like King Kong with that bird. Right. Ha-ha! 282 00:13:41,363 --> 00:13:44,523 Well, I never. Now, with a name like King, we can usually assume 283 00:13:44,523 --> 00:13:48,003 royal ties... Royal ties! Sorry. Go on. And, indeed, in Scotland, 284 00:13:48,003 --> 00:13:51,243 the surname carries some antiquity with the royal family. 285 00:13:51,243 --> 00:13:54,843 And in Ireland, the name was used as a synonym for... MacConraio. 286 00:13:54,843 --> 00:13:57,203 I believe I'm pronouncing that correctly... Mm-hm. 287 00:13:57,203 --> 00:13:59,923 ..meaning "son of the King". This Irish lineage has the family 288 00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:03,083 King crest, or coat of arms, which you may recognise displayed 289 00:14:03,083 --> 00:14:06,443 in many battles. Well, yes, I have heard tell of the crest, Robin. 290 00:14:06,443 --> 00:14:10,003 Would you have an image of that I could have a look at? Ah! Well! 291 00:14:10,003 --> 00:14:12,963 You go. The MacConraio crest would be pretty useless to you, Gary, 292 00:14:12,963 --> 00:14:16,683 as your lineage isn't Irish, but English. English, yep. 293 00:14:16,683 --> 00:14:19,363 Do you hear that, Den? English royalty. Ha-ha! Well, Gary, 294 00:14:19,363 --> 00:14:22,443 your line of English Kings actually dates back to Anglo-Saxon 295 00:14:22,443 --> 00:14:25,683 rural labourers - what I guess we'd call peasants. 296 00:14:25,683 --> 00:14:29,403 Peasants? Paupers. Yeah, I know what peasants are. 297 00:14:29,403 --> 00:14:33,403 And it is here, in the underclasses, in the foetid wastelands... 298 00:14:33,403 --> 00:14:35,523 Ooh! ..that King was used as a nickname 299 00:14:35,523 --> 00:14:39,803 for somebody who acted like a King. Ha! A nickname? Yes. 300 00:14:39,803 --> 00:14:42,843 Many nicknames became full names, if the joke really...hit. 301 00:14:42,843 --> 00:14:45,003 Ha-ha! Do you want to stop saying "nickname" now? 302 00:14:45,003 --> 00:14:47,283 The name, then... Ha! ..was given to your 303 00:14:47,283 --> 00:14:50,643 great-great-great-great-great grandfather, Cyril King, 304 00:14:50,643 --> 00:14:54,083 who was kingly in personality, or appearance. 305 00:14:54,083 --> 00:14:55,883 "Oh, look, here comes Cyril King. 306 00:14:55,883 --> 00:14:58,803 "He thinks he's lord of 307 00:14:55,883 --> 00:14:58,803 the bloody manor!" 308 00:14:55,883 --> 00:14:58,803 THEY LAUGH 309 00:14:58,803 --> 00:15:01,723 That's enough now. Or another reason for the nickname could be that 310 00:15:01,723 --> 00:15:03,803 Cyril had maybe just played the part of a king 311 00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:08,083 in a play, or a ridiculous pageant. Ridiculous pageant, what, you saying 312 00:15:08,083 --> 00:15:10,083 he's some sort of clown? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 313 00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:13,243 Nowhere near as revered as a professional clown or jester. 314 00:15:13,243 --> 00:15:17,043 No, just a big, silly character. Like a village idiot. 315 00:15:20,843 --> 00:15:24,723 Yeah. Erm, ahem, any history of our forefathers 316 00:15:24,723 --> 00:15:26,523 is a fascinating endeavour. 317 00:15:28,403 --> 00:15:30,123 I'm going to go in the garage. 318 00:15:31,203 --> 00:15:33,003 When I come out, 319 00:15:33,003 --> 00:15:34,683 I want you two gone. 320 00:15:44,003 --> 00:15:46,043 Ah... 321 00:15:44,003 --> 00:15:46,043 HE SNIFFS 322 00:15:57,763 --> 00:15:59,123 HE SNIFFS 323 00:16:08,363 --> 00:16:10,363 Teddy Gary King, what is going on here?! 324 00:16:10,363 --> 00:16:12,483 Stand to attention! Stand to... 325 00:16:13,523 --> 00:16:16,123 WEAK WHISTLING 326 00:16:16,123 --> 00:16:18,643 Stuart Williams! Here, now! Quickstep! Make haste! 327 00:16:18,643 --> 00:16:20,883 Make haste! Gary, I've just been checking the map. 328 00:16:20,883 --> 00:16:23,843 I think... Poppycock, mate! While you have been catching flies 329 00:16:23,843 --> 00:16:26,483 in your quarters, these three have been smoking! 330 00:16:27,803 --> 00:16:30,843 What?! Give me those, now! Now! 331 00:16:30,843 --> 00:16:34,243 Right, who put you up to this? Was it Lee? Hey, check yourself 332 00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:37,243 in front of a senior officer. He's a 13-year-old boy, Gary! 333 00:16:37,243 --> 00:16:39,243 There's only one thing for it, then. 334 00:16:39,243 --> 00:16:41,843 We set up interrogations in the officers' mess, 335 00:16:41,843 --> 00:16:43,443 put the sacks over their heads, 336 00:16:43,443 --> 00:16:46,003 stress positions, if necessary. One of them will crack. 337 00:16:46,003 --> 00:16:47,683 OK, that is absolutely insane. 338 00:16:47,683 --> 00:16:50,083 Who brought these? Tell me, now! 339 00:16:51,523 --> 00:16:53,043 I knew it. 340 00:16:53,043 --> 00:16:55,523 I am heartbroken, Big Lee Wallace, 341 00:16:55,523 --> 00:16:58,123 devastated by this betrayal. 342 00:16:58,123 --> 00:17:00,603 And shame on you as well, Ryan Williams! 343 00:17:00,603 --> 00:17:03,003 Honestly, little dobber. What? He's not dobbing, 344 00:17:03,003 --> 00:17:05,403 he's actually being a responsible... Oh, shut up, Dad! 345 00:17:05,403 --> 00:17:08,163 Just shut up! Hey, hey, hey, hey! How dare you speak to 346 00:17:08,163 --> 00:17:10,523 your father like that?! Your actual father, mate. 347 00:17:10,523 --> 00:17:13,563 Broken home or not, Ryan Williams, that is inexcusable! 348 00:17:13,563 --> 00:17:16,723 Well, I hate him. I hate him, anyways. I hate you. 349 00:17:22,683 --> 00:17:24,363 STUART CLEARS THROAT 350 00:17:27,443 --> 00:17:31,363 You, mate, seriously... You lot called for a storm, 351 00:17:31,363 --> 00:17:33,243 now get ready for the thunder. 352 00:17:33,243 --> 00:17:35,483 To the fire, please. The fire pit. 353 00:17:37,003 --> 00:17:38,243 Stuart, mate? 354 00:17:45,123 --> 00:17:46,483 Ahem... 355 00:17:47,643 --> 00:17:49,043 I mean... 356 00:17:51,523 --> 00:17:56,083 ..Ryan, smoking? Is it cool, what they're doing? Is it? 357 00:17:56,083 --> 00:17:58,243 Is it cool? It's not cool, Gary. 358 00:17:58,243 --> 00:18:00,443 Nah... 359 00:17:58,243 --> 00:18:00,443 STUART CRIES 360 00:18:04,923 --> 00:18:07,843 I just worry about the effect the whole divorce 361 00:18:07,843 --> 00:18:11,643 is having on him, you know? 362 00:18:07,843 --> 00:18:11,643 HE CONTINUES CRYING 363 00:18:11,643 --> 00:18:14,003 Well, I don't think it's just... That's just kids, mate. 364 00:18:14,003 --> 00:18:16,843 That is just boys for you, mate. That's what boys are like. 365 00:18:16,843 --> 00:18:21,003 I don't want to be a bad dad. I just want to be there for him. 366 00:18:21,003 --> 00:18:25,363 Stuart, mate, you are not a bad dad at all. 367 00:18:25,363 --> 00:18:29,523 And you're actually an all-right bloke as well. Like, you are... 368 00:18:29,523 --> 00:18:33,923 ..actually an all-right person, like, from what I can make out. 369 00:18:33,923 --> 00:18:38,883 And whatever guy that Meg is, like, knocking about with, 370 00:18:38,883 --> 00:18:42,363 whoever she's rumping about with now, ain't got a patch on you, bro. 371 00:18:42,363 --> 00:18:45,243 She's not with another man. I just thought she was seeing 372 00:18:45,243 --> 00:18:48,243 someone else, I thought she was knocking about with another guy. No. 373 00:18:48,243 --> 00:18:49,843 There's no other guy. She... 374 00:18:52,083 --> 00:18:53,243 She left because... 375 00:18:55,243 --> 00:18:57,003 ..she just stopped loving me. 376 00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:58,363 HE SNIFFS 377 00:19:02,243 --> 00:19:03,643 Right. 378 00:19:07,483 --> 00:19:10,523 You all right? Yeah. Because what I'm thinking is, erm, 379 00:19:10,523 --> 00:19:12,683 we have to really go and do something. Yeah, sure. 380 00:19:12,683 --> 00:19:14,403 We kind of have to sort of... Sure. 381 00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:16,603 ..like, put on, like, probably a bit more, 382 00:19:16,603 --> 00:19:18,643 erm, more bit of a discipline 383 00:19:18,643 --> 00:19:21,043 sort of effect for both of us. Yeah. 384 00:19:21,043 --> 00:19:22,803 Erm, Gary, listen. Yep. 385 00:19:22,803 --> 00:19:26,443 You're not going to say anything more sad, are you? No, just... 386 00:19:26,443 --> 00:19:29,483 ..thanks for listening, mate. No, thank YOU. 387 00:19:29,483 --> 00:19:31,923 Thank you for... Yeah. 388 00:19:31,923 --> 00:19:34,843 Because, actually... Phew! Yeah, right. 389 00:19:34,843 --> 00:19:38,003 I don't feel like crying, but I actually feel a bit sick, 390 00:19:38,003 --> 00:19:40,843 OK? Thank you. That's all right. Thank you. No, thank YOU. 391 00:19:40,843 --> 00:19:44,243 Also, I was going to say, is, er... 392 00:19:45,603 --> 00:19:48,083 ..after some consideration of what's just happened, 393 00:19:48,083 --> 00:19:50,403 erm, would you like to come to my wedding... 394 00:19:51,803 --> 00:19:53,163 ..with maybe a plus-one? 395 00:19:54,483 --> 00:19:57,803 Oh, thank you. Yes, thank you. Obviously, you don't need 396 00:19:57,803 --> 00:20:00,403 a plus-one, er, because you haven't got anyone, and that's 397 00:20:00,403 --> 00:20:04,043 quite insensitive of me, so... Right. Thank you. 398 00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:16,883 Listen up, boys, I know we are against it and we need something 399 00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:20,203 a little bit special to win this thing, so I want you 400 00:20:20,203 --> 00:20:23,763 to look at this man right here, Stuart Williams, 401 00:20:23,763 --> 00:20:26,123 because he has had the wotsits kicked out of him. 402 00:20:26,123 --> 00:20:30,163 He's on his arse right now, he really is. OK? 403 00:20:30,163 --> 00:20:33,363 There is a new badge what is on the table. 404 00:20:33,363 --> 00:20:36,043 It's the badge for taking care 405 00:20:36,043 --> 00:20:38,243 of someone whose life has fallen apart - 406 00:20:38,243 --> 00:20:41,723 aka, the Stuart Williams Badge. 407 00:20:41,723 --> 00:20:43,723 Yes, thanks for that, Gary. 408 00:20:43,723 --> 00:20:45,443 It's all right, mate, it's OK. 409 00:20:45,443 --> 00:20:49,563 Sorry, Dad, for being mean, and for smoking. 410 00:20:49,563 --> 00:20:51,003 It's OK, you just... 411 00:20:52,443 --> 00:20:56,963 You don't do it again, all right? Lovely, touching, very nice. 412 00:20:56,963 --> 00:21:02,083 I wonder if there's anyone else around the fireplace who also maybe 413 00:21:02,083 --> 00:21:05,683 wants to apologise to a loved one for doing something that was 414 00:21:05,683 --> 00:21:07,963 horrible and mean, like smoking. 415 00:21:10,563 --> 00:21:13,403 I'm sorry, Dad. Sorry for smoking. 416 00:21:13,403 --> 00:21:16,803 I also treasure that apology 417 00:21:16,803 --> 00:21:20,203 and I forgive you for it, so... And, you know, 418 00:21:20,203 --> 00:21:22,603 I'm sorry for stealing the money from the wedding jar. 419 00:21:22,603 --> 00:21:25,323 What was that, sorry? Stealing the money from the wedding... 420 00:21:25,323 --> 00:21:27,363 You stole the money... Why did you steal money 421 00:21:27,363 --> 00:21:30,363 from the wedding jar? To buy the cigarettes. To buy the fa... 422 00:21:30,363 --> 00:21:33,003 Buying fags, mate?! Buying fags and stealing! 423 00:21:33,003 --> 00:21:36,083 No forgiveness for stealing. That one is very much live. 424 00:21:36,083 --> 00:21:39,043 That is disgusting. Eurgh! Eurgh! 425 00:21:39,043 --> 00:21:42,043 Disgusting little boy! I'm sickened by his actions. 426 00:21:42,043 --> 00:21:45,523 That is disgusting. Horrible! Gary, everyone's exhausted. 427 00:21:45,523 --> 00:21:48,843 We're going to bed. And tomorrow, we use a map. 428 00:21:48,843 --> 00:21:50,483 OK, bed-byes. Bed-byes for everyone. 429 00:21:50,483 --> 00:21:53,003 Big Lee Wallace, do you want to give Stuart a nice big hug? 430 00:21:53,003 --> 00:21:55,043 No, I'm fine, thank you. Have a cuddle, mate. 431 00:21:55,043 --> 00:21:58,763 It'll make you feel better. Go on, give him some love. That's it. 432 00:21:58,763 --> 00:22:01,763 Get in there... Nice? 433 00:22:22,403 --> 00:22:24,563 Oh, hiya, Terri, what are you doing here? 434 00:22:24,563 --> 00:22:26,443 None of your beeswax. May I come in? 435 00:22:26,443 --> 00:22:29,443 Oh, erm, well... Why, you got something to hide, Ange? No, no, 436 00:22:29,443 --> 00:22:32,443 it's just... Ooh! 437 00:22:29,443 --> 00:22:32,443 SHE WHISTLES 438 00:22:32,443 --> 00:22:36,523 And the magpie comes back to her nest, mm! 439 00:22:36,523 --> 00:22:38,563 SHE SNIFFS 440 00:22:36,523 --> 00:22:38,563 What other little trinkets 441 00:22:38,563 --> 00:22:40,963 has she got, eh? 442 00:22:40,963 --> 00:22:42,443 SHE CHUCKLES 443 00:22:42,443 --> 00:22:44,883 Beware, beware of the robbers, 444 00:22:44,883 --> 00:22:49,843 those pesky robbers, who will thieve you good and done. 445 00:22:49,843 --> 00:22:52,803 Terri, are you all right? What are you going on about? 446 00:22:52,803 --> 00:22:55,323 We let you into our home. Look, what is this? 447 00:22:55,323 --> 00:22:58,683 You stole our hearts, then you stole our money, Angela. 448 00:22:58,683 --> 00:23:01,883 20 quid from our house. My in-laws are missing a ratchet 449 00:23:01,883 --> 00:23:04,483 and a full pack of Jaffa Cakes. Robin and Anne are missing 450 00:23:04,483 --> 00:23:07,483 the remote from their Dyson fan. This is... Look, I'm not a thief. 451 00:23:07,483 --> 00:23:10,603 I don't need to steal. I do very well with my cleaning business. 452 00:23:10,603 --> 00:23:13,323 Oh, do you? Really? Pull the other one! What, are you, like, 453 00:23:13,323 --> 00:23:16,563 working 24/7, or something? Yeah, yeah, I've got 30 cleaners 454 00:23:16,563 --> 00:23:18,163 working for me. 455 00:23:16,563 --> 00:23:18,163 TERRI SCOFFS 456 00:23:18,163 --> 00:23:20,923 We don't just do houses, we do offices of an evening. 457 00:23:20,923 --> 00:23:24,003 I've got the rugby club, do the soft play on the industrial estate. 458 00:23:24,003 --> 00:23:26,923 Ooh... Ooh, my God, poo-ey! 459 00:23:26,923 --> 00:23:28,603 Phwoah! 460 00:23:26,923 --> 00:23:28,603 TERRI SNIFFS 461 00:23:28,603 --> 00:23:30,803 Can you smell that? Because you reek of it, Ange, 462 00:23:30,803 --> 00:23:34,603 you absolutely reek of it! You've been found out. 463 00:23:34,603 --> 00:23:37,603 At least do yourself the decency of admitting it. 464 00:23:37,603 --> 00:23:40,883 I... Oh, hi, Angela, are you still here? 465 00:23:42,563 --> 00:23:44,403 Terri. 466 00:23:44,403 --> 00:23:47,163 What are you doing in my home? I could ask the same thing of you, 467 00:23:47,163 --> 00:23:50,963 actually, babe. Sorry, what? Did you know about this scumbag? 468 00:23:50,963 --> 00:23:53,803 Hmm? Angela? If that even is her real name. Look, 469 00:23:53,803 --> 00:23:56,723 what has actually happened here? Because I can't have any 470 00:23:56,723 --> 00:24:00,643 undue stress in my way of being with Boo. If there even is a Boo 471 00:24:00,643 --> 00:24:03,603 because, you see, I don't know what to believe any more! 472 00:24:03,603 --> 00:24:06,523 All I do know is that it... Hmm? 473 00:24:06,523 --> 00:24:09,603 ..is a thief! No, she isn't. 474 00:24:09,603 --> 00:24:13,203 She is a cleaner. She's a rotten apple, is what she is, mate. 475 00:24:13,203 --> 00:24:16,283 And do you know what? I have to question your judgment of character 476 00:24:16,283 --> 00:24:18,203 in all of this, actually. 477 00:24:18,203 --> 00:24:21,323 No, I didn't. Ange, I trust you. 478 00:24:21,323 --> 00:24:26,003 Terri? Mm-hm? Could you please leave my home? Ooh, gladly. 479 00:24:26,003 --> 00:24:28,763 Do you know what? Huh! I shall be taking this. 480 00:24:28,763 --> 00:24:31,043 I think that's mine, thank you. 481 00:24:31,043 --> 00:24:33,283 You... 482 00:24:33,283 --> 00:24:36,043 You're sacked as my wedding planner, from now. 483 00:24:36,043 --> 00:24:38,683 Yeah, well, I don't want to do your tacky wedding, anyway. 484 00:24:38,683 --> 00:24:40,683 I resign, from now. 485 00:24:40,683 --> 00:24:42,963 Sacked. Resign! 486 00:24:42,963 --> 00:24:47,123 Sacked! Resign! Sacked! Resign! 487 00:24:47,123 --> 00:24:49,803 Sackered! 488 00:24:49,803 --> 00:24:51,323 Resign! 489 00:25:20,443 --> 00:25:25,243 Eyes on the prize. I repeat, Gary has eyes on the prize. 490 00:25:25,243 --> 00:25:29,083 On my say-so, we make charge for the finish line. 491 00:25:29,083 --> 00:25:32,083 Me up front. Big Lee Wallace, 492 00:25:32,083 --> 00:25:34,163 you carry Stuart for the final leg. 493 00:25:34,163 --> 00:25:38,163 No, it's fine, Gary, I can walk. I'm not leaving behind a fallen man. 494 00:25:38,163 --> 00:25:41,283 It's actually quite degrading. He's a child. 495 00:25:41,283 --> 00:25:44,843 Big Lee, take control of your charge. 496 00:25:44,843 --> 00:25:50,283 Boys, on my say-so, we run like we've got hell in our heels. 497 00:25:50,283 --> 00:25:54,323 One, two, three... 498 00:25:54,323 --> 00:25:56,123 Go! Go! 499 00:25:56,123 --> 00:25:58,003 Argh...! 500 00:26:05,483 --> 00:26:08,123 Argh! 501 00:26:08,123 --> 00:26:11,043 Argh...! 502 00:26:13,083 --> 00:26:15,323 Yes! Yes! 503 00:26:23,643 --> 00:26:27,683 THEY CHEER 504 00:26:40,603 --> 00:26:42,523 THEY LAUGH 505 00:26:42,523 --> 00:26:46,043 You mug! Look at you, you mug! 506 00:26:46,043 --> 00:26:48,523 What you done?! What you done?! 507 00:26:48,523 --> 00:26:51,003 What you even laughing at, mate? 508 00:26:51,003 --> 00:26:54,723 We beat you, fair and square. We got here hours ago. 509 00:26:54,723 --> 00:26:58,043 I put that back there just to mess with you. What? 510 00:26:58,043 --> 00:27:00,803 Why would you do such a mean and nasty thing? 511 00:27:00,803 --> 00:27:03,883 Not just to me and Stuart, but to the actual boys as well, 512 00:27:03,883 --> 00:27:05,283 who thought they'd won it. 513 00:27:05,283 --> 00:27:07,523 To school ya, old man. 514 00:27:07,523 --> 00:27:10,603 You're out of your league. Know your place, yeah? 515 00:27:14,203 --> 00:27:17,083 Let down, Ted, mate! Let down! 516 00:27:17,083 --> 00:27:20,243 And I hope you like the taste of gruel, mate, I really do. 517 00:27:20,243 --> 00:27:22,443 You're going to be living the next couple of months 518 00:27:22,443 --> 00:27:24,563 like a Dickens character, from the olden days. 519 00:27:24,563 --> 00:27:27,163 Get them put down and up to your room, Tedward. 520 00:27:27,163 --> 00:27:30,003 That's 20 days' community service, starting now. 521 00:27:30,003 --> 00:27:32,803 Xbox in the bag. Hello, babe. Don't look at your mum for support! 522 00:27:32,803 --> 00:27:35,163 Horrid little boy! Whoa, whoa, what's going on, babe? 523 00:27:35,163 --> 00:27:37,483 You look absolutely seething. Honestly... Oh! 524 00:27:37,483 --> 00:27:40,883 ..the time I've had of it. Ha-ha! Time YOU'VE had? Time... 525 00:27:40,883 --> 00:27:44,003 I got the quadruple needle, darling, the quadruple needle. 526 00:27:44,003 --> 00:27:46,403 It was Teddy what nicked the score, 527 00:27:46,403 --> 00:27:49,483 to buy snouts, of all things. No, no, no. Back it up, sorry. 528 00:27:49,483 --> 00:27:53,443 So, you're saying Teddy was the... Sorry, are you... 529 00:27:53,443 --> 00:27:57,283 Are you... Are you sure? The boy admitted the whole thing. Christ! 530 00:27:58,763 --> 00:28:00,163 What's wrong? What's that? 531 00:28:01,243 --> 00:28:02,723 What's wrong, babe? 532 00:28:04,923 --> 00:28:06,723 I tell you what's up, Gal. 533 00:28:06,723 --> 00:28:08,923 I have just spent the last couple of days 534 00:28:08,923 --> 00:28:12,003 bastardising Angela's name on Checkatrade. 535 00:28:12,003 --> 00:28:15,523 Near on had a tear-up with her, could have really hurt her, Gary. 536 00:28:15,523 --> 00:28:18,403 And then, to top it all off, I've just fired Chloe 537 00:28:18,403 --> 00:28:21,003 as our wedding planner! Why? Why? 538 00:28:21,003 --> 00:28:24,483 Because of you, you absolute Fraggle! 539 00:28:26,083 --> 00:28:29,003 I'm going to go and have a lie down now. 540 00:28:29,003 --> 00:28:31,723 Think I've got a migraine coming on. OK, babe. 541 00:28:31,723 --> 00:28:33,123 And do not follow me. 542 00:28:33,123 --> 00:28:34,883 Look, I... Do not follow me. 543 00:28:36,883 --> 00:28:37,963 Teddy!