1
00:00:03,483 --> 00:00:07,563
OK, champ, you ready for this?
First thing first your grip, yeah?
2
00:00:07,563 --> 00:00:11,163
Goes across your finger ridges, not
the lifeline, ridges of the fingers.
3
00:00:11,163 --> 00:00:15,323
Let's get relaxing in those knees,
bobbing. Straighten your body, but
bend your legs.
4
00:00:15,323 --> 00:00:17,323
Straighten but bend,
straighten but bend.
5
00:00:17,323 --> 00:00:20,523
Now collapse that left leg, just
collapse the left leg a bit, let it.
6
00:00:20,523 --> 00:00:26,043
Ted, you look like you're having
a seizure, mate. The whole skill
to this, right, is being relaxed
7
00:00:26,043 --> 00:00:29,203
and stiff at the same time.
8
00:00:29,203 --> 00:00:33,563
Be stiff and relaxed?!
That's the game, that's the sweet
little mystery of it all!
9
00:00:33,563 --> 00:00:37,683
Can't I just hit it?
Yeah, course you can. If you want
to do that, just so you know, mate,
10
00:00:37,683 --> 00:00:40,243
Tiger Woods didn't hit a ball
for ten years, he just hit mat.
11
00:00:40,243 --> 00:00:44,443
So you, you're better than Tiger
Woods, are you? Go on, mate, see how
you get on. Can't wait to see.
12
00:00:44,443 --> 00:00:47,723
Everyone watch! Watch the kid!
He knows better than his dad!
13
00:00:53,403 --> 00:00:55,363
Shot! Shot!
14
00:00:55,363 --> 00:00:57,163
Yeah, boy!
15
00:00:57,163 --> 00:00:59,923
Oh, my day! He's hit the tree!
16
00:00:59,923 --> 00:01:01,683
He's hit the tree!
17
00:01:07,363 --> 00:01:11,003
What? Dick eye!
He's hit that very clean!
18
00:01:11,003 --> 00:01:13,763
Ain't he though, ain't he though?
19
00:01:13,763 --> 00:01:17,363
He has creamed 20 balls like that,
mate. That's half a bucket.
20
00:01:17,363 --> 00:01:20,203
Yeah, you can see the way his
body's put together, his whole
21
00:01:20,203 --> 00:01:24,283
line's in total symmetry and he's
got a natural hand-eye coordination.
22
00:01:24,283 --> 00:01:27,043
Exactly. You've either got it,
or you ain't.
23
00:01:27,043 --> 00:01:30,363
Well, you ain't got it. You couldn't
catch a grapefruit in a windsock.
What?
24
00:01:30,363 --> 00:01:33,203
He's a natural.
He's a true talent.
25
00:01:33,203 --> 00:01:35,523
He needs to be nurtured
very carefully.
26
00:01:35,523 --> 00:01:37,723
I'm already five
moves in front of you, Dad.
27
00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:41,443
I've entered him into the
Junior Oaks Tournament down here.
28
00:01:41,443 --> 00:01:45,963
A tournament? Already? No, you need
to slow down, boy. It's too early.
29
00:01:45,963 --> 00:01:49,763
He's 12 years old, mate! That's
middle aged in sporting terms.
30
00:01:49,763 --> 00:01:51,563
He's practically a pensioner!
31
00:01:51,563 --> 00:01:54,883
Gary, I was playing golf when you
were still eating bits of Lego.
32
00:01:54,883 --> 00:01:56,643
Now let me in here!
33
00:01:56,643 --> 00:01:58,603
OK. OK.
34
00:01:58,603 --> 00:02:02,283
I'll take you on in a coaching
adviser role,
35
00:02:02,283 --> 00:02:05,523
but I am management here, mate,
so career strategy,
36
00:02:05,523 --> 00:02:09,683
brand endorsements,
that's very much my domain.
37
00:02:09,683 --> 00:02:12,883
Yeah, whatever.
Then welcome to the team.
38
00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:15,283
We're going to do great things.
39
00:02:34,883 --> 00:02:36,443
Oh...
40
00:02:36,443 --> 00:02:37,883
Ooh!
41
00:02:37,883 --> 00:02:40,563
Now, tell me
are you nearly there yet, or what?
42
00:02:42,243 --> 00:02:45,003
So, how's the wedding
planning going like?
43
00:02:45,003 --> 00:02:47,723
Yeah, yeah, so we're going big
with it, obvs, yeah, yeah.
44
00:02:47,723 --> 00:02:51,083
Going to do it like in a castle
and stuff because you know like
the King thing,
45
00:02:51,083 --> 00:02:54,683
because you know we are the Kings.
Wow! Sounds ambitious, babe.
46
00:02:54,683 --> 00:03:00,643
Mm. You going to get a wedding
planner, so it's not horrible and
tacky? Yeah.
47
00:03:00,643 --> 00:03:04,003
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just...
Just sussing out a few as we speak,
48
00:03:04,003 --> 00:03:06,763
you know, just depends on where
we're going, destinas-ion wise,
49
00:03:06,763 --> 00:03:09,763
you know, get a plane to the old...
WHISTLES
50
00:03:09,763 --> 00:03:10,843
Yeah. Mm...
51
00:03:10,843 --> 00:03:14,923
I mean, I'm obviously a stylist
by trade, but I have actually
52
00:03:14,923 --> 00:03:18,003
been thinking about going into
the weddings medium. Do mine!
53
00:03:20,603 --> 00:03:25,803
If you fancy, do ours, I mean if you
- so would like to do that?
54
00:03:25,803 --> 00:03:29,843
Well, I suppose I was thinking
about starting small, you know,
55
00:03:29,843 --> 00:03:34,723
something a bit base, and then just
working my way up the design ladder.
56
00:03:34,723 --> 00:03:39,003
So, I'm not making no promises,
but I could pop round,
57
00:03:39,003 --> 00:03:42,963
maybe bring some mood boards,
bring my Pinterest up.
58
00:03:42,963 --> 00:03:45,763
Oh, cool, that is cool,
I'd love... I'd love that,
59
00:03:45,763 --> 00:03:49,603
because you know what,
60
00:03:45,763 --> 00:03:49,603
I absolutely...
61
00:03:45,763 --> 00:03:49,603
CLATTERING AND BANGING
62
00:03:50,963 --> 00:03:53,803
When... When you... when are you
thinking, babes?
63
00:03:53,803 --> 00:03:56,643
Do you want to pop round tomorrow
or something? What are you doing?
64
00:03:56,643 --> 00:03:59,323
Oh, er... Just... Just wondering
if... What this is.
65
00:03:59,323 --> 00:04:02,363
I mean, what is it
and shall we have a go on it?
66
00:04:02,363 --> 00:04:04,643
Terri, you never use
any of the machines.
67
00:04:04,643 --> 00:04:05,923
No, no, it's...
68
00:04:05,923 --> 00:04:08,363
Oh, it's the cramp! It's... Ooh!
Got 'em in both legs.
69
00:04:08,363 --> 00:04:10,803
Terri, stand up.
You've got to stretch it out!
70
00:04:10,803 --> 00:04:15,163
No, you're all right, babe. I'm
going to ping you over a text, speak
to you later, chinkers, all right?
71
00:04:17,803 --> 00:04:20,643
Hi, darling. Oh, hiya, Den.
72
00:04:34,643 --> 00:04:39,283
Oi, oi, whih-woo! Someone's in his
work garms.
73
00:04:39,283 --> 00:04:41,963
Talk about giving me
a little fizzy flow there, babe.
74
00:04:43,603 --> 00:04:46,403
Oh...
Sorry, babe, what's going on here?
75
00:04:46,403 --> 00:04:47,923
It's a putting green for Teddy.
76
00:04:47,923 --> 00:04:50,523
Right, no.
OK, OK, brilliant, that's...
77
00:04:50,523 --> 00:04:53,123
Sorry what's, what's
brought all this on?
78
00:04:53,123 --> 00:04:55,563
He has the gift, my kiwi, the gift!
79
00:04:55,563 --> 00:05:00,043
He has hit 100 balls and he's hit
every one like Rory McIlroy.
80
00:05:00,043 --> 00:05:04,203
Sorry, I don't know who that is.
He's an amazing golfer, babe. Right.
And so is Teddy. Right.
81
00:05:04,203 --> 00:05:07,003
Honestly, babe, I've already
entered him in a tournament. Oh!
82
00:05:07,003 --> 00:05:10,723
Righto, moving fast then, OK.
What date?
83
00:05:10,723 --> 00:05:12,643
It's a school day,
he's got nothing on.
84
00:05:12,643 --> 00:05:15,123
Well, he has school on, Gary,
so what date?
85
00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:18,723
Just looking at his diary. Mm-hm.
86
00:05:18,723 --> 00:05:20,283
27th. No, babe!
87
00:05:20,283 --> 00:05:23,283
That's his spelling bee final,
you divvy. He can't miss that!
88
00:05:23,283 --> 00:05:26,363
Spelling? Really?!
Yes, spelling, Gary.
89
00:05:26,363 --> 00:05:30,843
Babe, we need to invest now
and whatever we invest now
will come back ten fold later.
90
00:05:30,843 --> 00:05:34,763
Right, right. Well, I'll just leave
that one with you, OK.
91
00:05:34,763 --> 00:05:38,283
Listen, have you spoken to
your mother yet about the wedding?
92
00:05:38,283 --> 00:05:42,323
Yeah, yeah. Yes. Really? Yes, I have
spoken. Babe, because she will not
stop texting me.
93
00:05:42,323 --> 00:05:46,203
She's even started emailing me
on eBay. It's making my bum itch.
94
00:05:46,203 --> 00:05:48,763
DOORBELL RINGS
95
00:05:51,123 --> 00:05:54,603
I thought you was Amazon Prime.
Yes, well, sorry to disappoint.
96
00:05:54,603 --> 00:05:57,843
What do you want, Stuart? It's my
bin, you said next-door's got it.
97
00:05:57,843 --> 00:06:02,123
Yeah, has got it, you can see it
clear as day, number 41, look. See?
98
00:06:02,123 --> 00:06:05,123
Mate, he's using that not as his
primary bin, but as an overflow
99
00:06:05,123 --> 00:06:08,843
bin, for all the stuff he doesn't
think's worthy of his own bin.
100
00:06:08,843 --> 00:06:11,523
What do you think I should do?
Just go and take it, mate.
101
00:06:11,523 --> 00:06:14,323
You honestly think I should just
take it? You've lost enough, mate.
102
00:06:14,323 --> 00:06:17,003
Go and take it. All right, fine.
I'll take it. Do it, go for it.
103
00:06:17,003 --> 00:06:19,643
I am, I am doing it. Mate, do it.
Mate, do it. I'm doing it!
104
00:06:19,643 --> 00:06:23,803
Take it! Oi, oi, oi, oi, chavro,
not across there, mate. What?!
105
00:06:23,803 --> 00:06:26,563
There's a gap here. Walk up the
drive and then back down.
106
00:06:26,563 --> 00:06:30,163
Why? Don't take verge liberties.
Well, there's nothing there.
107
00:06:30,163 --> 00:06:31,883
Mate, it's not a bridge, mate.
108
00:06:31,883 --> 00:06:33,203
Fine.
109
00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:40,963
Stu! Stu! Stu! Da-da!
110
00:06:40,963 --> 00:06:42,203
What?
111
00:06:42,203 --> 00:06:44,123
Dack-dahn. What's da-da?
112
00:06:44,123 --> 00:06:46,163
Dack-dahn. What?
113
00:06:46,163 --> 00:06:49,283
Duck down! Duck down? Yes.
114
00:06:49,283 --> 00:06:50,323
OK. Sh!
115
00:06:54,683 --> 00:06:56,043
Stu! What?
116
00:06:56,043 --> 00:06:58,363
All clear, mate. All clear.
117
00:06:58,363 --> 00:07:01,723
You don't need to
tell me it's all clear!
118
00:07:01,723 --> 00:07:03,083
Just tell me when it isn't.
119
00:07:05,763 --> 00:07:11,483
Stu! Stu! You vanished,
I couldn't see you for a second.
Yeah, shut, up!
120
00:07:14,523 --> 00:07:17,003
Go Stu! Go, go, go, Stu! Go, Stu!
121
00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:19,123
Hey, what you doing?
122
00:07:19,123 --> 00:07:22,683
Oh, yeah, sorry, no, it's, um...
The....
123
00:07:22,683 --> 00:07:26,123
It's actually quite easily
explained. I believe there...
124
00:07:26,123 --> 00:07:33,363
There's been a mix-up and you may
have one of my...recycling bins.
125
00:07:33,363 --> 00:07:34,723
Calling me a thief, bruv?
126
00:07:34,723 --> 00:07:37,683
Absol... Absolutely not, no,
it's just.... Mate...
127
00:07:37,683 --> 00:07:41,043
Mate, mate, it's Gary... Gary King
from next door, what lives here.
128
00:07:41,043 --> 00:07:44,643
Yeah?
That's Stuart Williams he lives at
number 41, the bin there. That, 41.
129
00:07:44,643 --> 00:07:46,843
These bins were here when
I moved in, so you'll have
130
00:07:46,843 --> 00:07:49,883
to take it back with the previous
tenant, and step back from the car!
Sorry.
131
00:07:49,883 --> 00:07:53,523
Me again, mate. Me again,
so coming over, yeah, coming over.
132
00:07:53,523 --> 00:07:57,123
Bruv... Why are you walking up there
for? Oi! You could cross there.
133
00:07:57,123 --> 00:07:59,123
Driveway code, mate, driveway code.
134
00:07:59,123 --> 00:08:01,963
Why's he walking up there?
I've got no idea. Nearly here.
135
00:08:03,243 --> 00:08:05,883
Listen, mate. I know what
you are doing. You've sensed
136
00:08:05,883 --> 00:08:09,603
the weakest, most vulnerable
person on this whole crescent
137
00:08:09,603 --> 00:08:12,923
and thus you are now picking on him
and making his life a misery,
138
00:08:12,923 --> 00:08:16,083
but his life is already miserable
and pathetic and sad. His wife has
139
00:08:16,083 --> 00:08:19,203
left him, mate, and he is drinking
all the time on the booze, ain't ya?
140
00:08:19,203 --> 00:08:21,683
Right, Gary, he doesn't need
to know all this, I just...
141
00:08:21,683 --> 00:08:25,283
He does need to know, mate. He needs
to know how broken you are, mate.
I am not broken.
142
00:08:25,283 --> 00:08:28,323
He's shattered. I am not broken. You
are vulnerable. I'm not vuln...
143
00:08:28,323 --> 00:08:31,763
I am not vulnerable.
Mate, you are broken. I'm not
broken! You're Mr Broken, mate.
144
00:08:31,763 --> 00:08:34,443
I'm just going through a break-up,
I'm dealing with it in the normal
145
00:08:34,443 --> 00:08:38,523
way that people deal with things
like that. You are now dealing...
You're walking around in pyjamas
146
00:08:38,523 --> 00:08:42,443
with no shoes and socks on. I was
just going for an afternoon walk...
Walking around outside...?
147
00:08:42,443 --> 00:08:43,563
Ah! You both done?!
148
00:08:46,403 --> 00:08:48,403
Yeah.
149
00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:52,683
Actually, no. One other thing, you
shouldn't park your car like that.
150
00:08:52,683 --> 00:08:56,323
Oh, my God! Because it's not - you
can't park your car like that.
151
00:08:56,323 --> 00:08:57,723
Does it really matter?
152
00:08:57,723 --> 00:08:59,363
Yeah, it does actually, mate,
153
00:08:59,363 --> 00:09:02,403
because actually what it is, is
that it's a legal turning point
154
00:09:02,403 --> 00:09:05,643
because it's a cul-de-sac,
so people can't turn round.
155
00:09:05,643 --> 00:09:08,003
Bruv, what are you?
Are you the council?
156
00:09:08,003 --> 00:09:11,243
Pretty much, actually. I'm what's
known as the crescent warden.
157
00:09:11,243 --> 00:09:13,323
That ain't the same
thing as the council.
158
00:09:13,323 --> 00:09:16,243
So my advice would be contact
the ACTUAL council
159
00:09:16,243 --> 00:09:18,603
and I will speak to them.
160
00:09:18,603 --> 00:09:21,363
Fair play. Yeah, fair play in a way.
161
00:09:21,363 --> 00:09:22,843
I just...
162
00:09:24,683 --> 00:09:27,443
I just want my bin.
He just wants his bin back.
163
00:09:27,443 --> 00:09:30,283
Take your bin. Just take it,
just do it, mate. Stop messing
164
00:09:30,283 --> 00:09:33,083
around Stuart, take it.
Yeah, it's just it's sort of...
165
00:09:34,403 --> 00:09:37,243
..it's quite full up with your
rubbish. That ain't my problem.
166
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:40,163
You're right, it's absolutely not
your problem, very much my problem.
167
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:45,003
I need to go get my tea, because
Terri's done tea tonight, so. I
don't care. So see you later, yeah.
168
00:10:03,723 --> 00:10:06,683
We're ready for you now, Mr King.
Thank you, OK.
169
00:10:06,683 --> 00:10:08,763
Good luck with your stuff.
170
00:10:08,763 --> 00:10:13,843
Thank you for letting me into
your kingdom at such short notice,
Mrs Grant.
171
00:10:13,843 --> 00:10:16,083
Always so lovely to see you.
172
00:10:16,083 --> 00:10:21,003
Teddy is showing a lot of potential
as being an elite sportsperson,
173
00:10:21,003 --> 00:10:24,203
a golfer, and that's
where you come in.
174
00:10:24,203 --> 00:10:27,163
You see, he has his first major
tournament on the same
175
00:10:27,163 --> 00:10:29,203
day as your spelling game.
176
00:10:29,203 --> 00:10:33,003
It's not a game, Mr King.
It's the final of the competition.
177
00:10:33,003 --> 00:10:35,203
But can we move it? Move it?!
178
00:10:35,203 --> 00:10:37,723
Shift it a couple of days,
budge it up on the schedule,
179
00:10:37,723 --> 00:10:41,963
drop it somewhere else. Shunt it,
Mrs Grant, shunt it.
180
00:10:41,963 --> 00:10:44,163
No, it's far too late to reschedule.
181
00:10:44,163 --> 00:10:47,803
There are eight schools
involved from four counties.
182
00:10:47,803 --> 00:10:50,363
Then we have ourselves a crossroads.
183
00:10:50,363 --> 00:10:53,723
He has two choices,
two roads which he could go down.
184
00:10:53,723 --> 00:10:58,363
The left-hand road is
a road of books and spelling
185
00:10:58,363 --> 00:11:02,283
and librarianisms,
and the right junction,
186
00:11:02,283 --> 00:11:06,563
well, that is the journey to being
the greatest golfer of all time.
187
00:11:06,563 --> 00:11:07,923
So a T-junction.
188
00:11:10,563 --> 00:11:12,483
If you like.
Are you picking on me?
189
00:11:12,483 --> 00:11:16,083
No, I'm not picking on you.
Just feels a little bit like
you are picking on me, so...
190
00:11:16,083 --> 00:11:19,363
Look, Mr King,
we've been here before, have we not?
191
00:11:19,363 --> 00:11:24,403
What? What are you saying? When you
pulled Teddy out of school for
football trials with Barcelona.
192
00:11:24,403 --> 00:11:28,483
Do you recall? Sort of, little
bit... Actually, no, I don't recall
actually. My brain's not working.
193
00:11:28,483 --> 00:11:31,923
I think getting a good
194
00:11:28,483 --> 00:11:31,923
education can definitely...
195
00:11:28,483 --> 00:11:31,923
BLOWS RASPBERRY
196
00:11:33,283 --> 00:11:35,363
Can def...
197
00:11:33,283 --> 00:11:35,363
BLOWS RASPBERRY
198
00:11:38,043 --> 00:11:42,443
I can definitely secure financial...
BLOWS RASPBERRY
199
00:11:42,443 --> 00:11:45,243
OK, let's just ask Teddy
what he wants to do.
200
00:11:45,243 --> 00:11:49,563
Teddy, what would you like to do?
Considering you've worked so hard...
201
00:11:49,563 --> 00:11:51,203
Ah-ah! Sh.
202
00:11:51,203 --> 00:11:53,043
Sshh-tshh.
203
00:11:53,043 --> 00:11:56,763
Ted, mate...
Ted, you've got to decide now,
204
00:11:56,763 --> 00:11:59,803
this is for the rest of your life,
you have to make this decision.
205
00:11:59,803 --> 00:12:03,043
Do you want to life of spelling,
being a little speller, or
206
00:12:03,043 --> 00:12:08,323
golf superstardom with a mansion and
an infinity pool? Choice is yours.
207
00:12:10,123 --> 00:12:13,123
Golf. Go on, say it again. Golf.
There it is.
208
00:12:13,123 --> 00:12:14,483
There it is.
209
00:12:14,483 --> 00:12:18,803
Look, you did your best,
but the boy has decided.
210
00:12:18,803 --> 00:12:21,203
Shake, come on,
don't be a bad loser.
211
00:12:21,203 --> 00:12:23,843
Come on, you need to shake on it.
212
00:12:23,843 --> 00:12:26,723
Sheila. Sheila. She-she.
213
00:12:26,723 --> 00:12:28,963
Come on, Sheila.
214
00:12:26,723 --> 00:12:28,963
WHISTLES
215
00:12:28,963 --> 00:12:31,523
There we go.
216
00:12:31,523 --> 00:12:33,723
Good girl.
217
00:12:33,723 --> 00:12:35,843
That's a shake.
Ted, come on, mate.
218
00:12:35,843 --> 00:12:38,683
Teddy King shall play golf.
Come on, son, let's go.
219
00:12:40,203 --> 00:12:42,203
# Make the body move, you got to
220
00:12:43,883 --> 00:12:45,363
# Let the body groove
221
00:12:47,363 --> 00:12:49,323
# Make the body move, you've got to
222
00:12:51,123 --> 00:12:52,163
# Let the body groove
223
00:12:54,723 --> 00:12:58,523
# Weekend and you're ready
to make a move
224
00:12:58,523 --> 00:13:01,243
# Been working nine to five,
it ain't so smooth
225
00:13:01,243 --> 00:13:04,763
# So Monday and it's stress
up on your life
226
00:13:04,763 --> 00:13:09,003
# And you know that music really
beats life, so you got to... #
227
00:13:09,003 --> 00:13:11,483
Hello, babe. Welcome to Chez King.
228
00:13:11,483 --> 00:13:14,843
Do you know how it's impossible
to park on your road? No?
229
00:13:14,843 --> 00:13:17,483
Yeah, I had to
park like 1,000 steps away.
230
00:13:17,483 --> 00:13:20,243
Oh, it's just one big room,
is it? Very cute.
231
00:13:20,243 --> 00:13:22,723
Yeah, sorry about all the parking
malarkey.
232
00:13:22,723 --> 00:13:26,043
It's our annoying new neighbour.
My Gary's sorting him out, so...
233
00:13:27,083 --> 00:13:28,283
Right, then.
234
00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:32,643
So, I've drawn up some mood boards.
Yay.
235
00:13:32,643 --> 00:13:35,243
These are some castle weddings. Wow!
236
00:13:36,763 --> 00:13:38,963
Now, are you sure about Scotland
and Ireland?
237
00:13:38,963 --> 00:13:44,043
Oh, yeah, yeah. We've always said
about it. Got our hearts set on it
really, you know, so... OK.
238
00:13:44,043 --> 00:13:49,163
I get it. It's just I've always
really wanted to go to
a wedding in Italy, so...
239
00:13:55,163 --> 00:13:59,043
Nah. OK, that's fine. I mean, this
can still have taste and style.
240
00:13:59,043 --> 00:14:02,803
Yeah. Ooh!
So I'm thinking Meze for food.
241
00:14:02,803 --> 00:14:06,843
Ooh! Or, maybe, a suckling pig,
on a spit.
242
00:14:06,843 --> 00:14:09,763
SCOTTISH ACCENT: Get in my belly!
Or if we go to Ireland, like...
243
00:14:09,763 --> 00:14:11,883
IRISH ACCENT: Get in my belly!
244
00:14:11,883 --> 00:14:13,483
DOORBELL RINGS
245
00:14:15,003 --> 00:14:16,963
Terri?
246
00:14:16,963 --> 00:14:18,843
It's me, Denise.
247
00:14:18,843 --> 00:14:21,003
Like that one.
248
00:14:21,003 --> 00:14:23,683
DOORBELL
249
00:14:21,003 --> 00:14:23,683
That's nice, I like that.
250
00:14:21,003 --> 00:14:23,683
Are you going to get that?
251
00:14:23,683 --> 00:14:27,483
I know you're in there. Oh, no,
that'll be nothing, don't worry
about it. Sorry, where were we?
252
00:14:29,603 --> 00:14:32,843
Oh, all right, Denise. Sorry, we're
in the middle of something here.
253
00:14:32,843 --> 00:14:35,443
Did Gary talk to you
about the wedding, did he?
254
00:14:35,443 --> 00:14:39,683
No, he hasn't, he's avoiding me.
It's like you're both
ignoring me, Terri.
255
00:14:39,683 --> 00:14:41,883
Oh? A woman could get offended
by such behaviour.
256
00:14:41,883 --> 00:14:44,643
Feel like the smelly
kid at the disco.
257
00:14:44,643 --> 00:14:47,283
I'm sorry, babe. What, you just
knocking just now, were you?
258
00:14:47,283 --> 00:14:51,243
Didn't hear a thing,
did we, Chlo-girl?
Yes, we did. You said to leave it.
259
00:14:51,243 --> 00:14:52,843
Hiya, Den.
260
00:14:54,683 --> 00:14:57,283
Ooh, whatcha... Whatcha...
What you got there, babes, eh?
261
00:14:57,283 --> 00:14:59,923
Spreadsheets, costings,
quotes for the wedding.
262
00:14:59,923 --> 00:15:02,043
Actually, can we sit down for this?
263
00:15:02,043 --> 00:15:05,043
Sorry, Den. It's just we're
in the middle of something here.
264
00:15:05,043 --> 00:15:08,603
Chloe's actually going to be our
new wedding planner, so...
265
00:15:08,603 --> 00:15:11,723
Is she now? Yeah. What do you need
a wedding planner for?
266
00:15:11,723 --> 00:15:15,403
Blimey, when I got married you
just roped in the bridesmaid who
drunk the least.
267
00:15:15,403 --> 00:15:19,363
Well, Den, I'm a professional.
Can we please sit down now,
have a cup of tea?
268
00:15:33,603 --> 00:15:38,723
Lully, Dad, lully, mate.
That's lully, boy. Very well done,
very well done.
269
00:15:38,723 --> 00:15:41,203
What have you come as?
I'm the daddy caddy.
270
00:15:41,203 --> 00:15:45,563
Daddy caddy? Sounds like something
sort of adult nappy.
271
00:15:45,563 --> 00:15:50,283
Son, cast your eyes upon
the Teddy King golfing arena.
272
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:52,763
Cool! What don't you have a little
swing, boy?
273
00:15:52,763 --> 00:15:55,163
Smash it as hard as you like,
ain't going nowhere.
274
00:15:55,163 --> 00:16:00,083
Bit tired, Grandad.
Then sleep is needed, off you go.
Get some shut-eye, boy.
275
00:16:00,083 --> 00:16:02,603
Sleep?!
He needs to get his practise in.
276
00:16:02,603 --> 00:16:05,443
I'm in charge of his schedule,
you deal with the practise.
277
00:16:05,443 --> 00:16:08,083
Well, it's hard for him to practise
if he's fast asleep!
278
00:16:08,083 --> 00:16:12,043
You even got a guest list?
It was like the first thing
I did actually, so...
279
00:16:13,163 --> 00:16:14,483
There you go.
280
00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:20,843
There's no sign of the Canvey Island
Kings, or the Orpington lot.
281
00:16:20,843 --> 00:16:23,723
Winkle, my cousin Creamy. Creamy?
282
00:16:23,723 --> 00:16:25,283
I don't know him, Denise,
283
00:16:25,283 --> 00:16:29,003
and based on that name alone,
he ain't coming, all right?
This is my wedding, OK?
284
00:16:29,003 --> 00:16:30,363
They are family!
285
00:16:31,683 --> 00:16:33,443
I'm going to go.
286
00:16:33,443 --> 00:16:37,483
Boo doesn't like being around
loud nasty voices, so...
287
00:16:37,483 --> 00:16:39,563
It's probably for the best.
No, no!
288
00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:42,523
Stay, I mean we'll have a cup of tea
and you know...
289
00:16:42,523 --> 00:16:46,323
Cos you're my wedding planner
and, and this is my wedding, so...
290
00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:53,723
OK. Come on, Boo, let's go home.
Say bye-bye. HIGH PITCH: Bye-bye!
291
00:16:53,723 --> 00:16:55,643
Catch you later then, Chlo!
292
00:17:00,683 --> 00:17:03,203
Did you make me that cup of tea?
Going now.
293
00:17:07,843 --> 00:17:11,083
Gal? Yes, darling. You all right,
babe?
294
00:17:12,683 --> 00:17:16,483
No. No, no, I'm not, babe, no.
295
00:17:16,483 --> 00:17:19,083
See, your mum's in there
being a bit busy.
296
00:17:21,003 --> 00:17:23,043
Mm-hm. Didn't tell her, did ya?
297
00:17:24,083 --> 00:17:29,203
No.
You said you did...and you didn't.
298
00:17:29,203 --> 00:17:31,683
I mean, she's up in there
grinding my gears real bad,
299
00:17:31,683 --> 00:17:33,163
she's about to cop a doughboy.
300
00:17:33,163 --> 00:17:36,603
I'm a little bit befuddled
about this situation because like
301
00:17:36,603 --> 00:17:40,723
your demeanour is saying one thing
and your words another, so...
302
00:17:40,723 --> 00:17:46,163
Oh, no, I'm next level livid with
you, Gary. Fuming in fact.
303
00:17:46,163 --> 00:17:49,323
Yeah, but what it is, is
with your face is smiling, it seems
304
00:17:49,323 --> 00:17:53,243
so happy, but then with your words
you're quite damaging
and quite hard for me to hear.
305
00:17:53,243 --> 00:17:56,243
Yeah, that's because I don't want
anyone knowing just how
306
00:17:56,243 --> 00:18:01,523
incredibly angry I am. I mean, I'm
stir fry crazy actually, so...
307
00:18:02,723 --> 00:18:06,443
What do you reckon, Tel? Yeah, it
looks really great, Gal. Well done.
308
00:18:06,443 --> 00:18:08,683
Do you mean that,
like you love the arena, or...?
309
00:18:10,483 --> 00:18:14,523
We'll just... We can probably
just scale it back and stuff, so...
Yeah. I love you.
310
00:18:14,523 --> 00:18:16,363
OK, whatever.
311
00:18:16,363 --> 00:18:17,683
Love you, smudge.
312
00:18:24,363 --> 00:18:26,603
Yes! Party's just starting!
313
00:18:26,603 --> 00:18:30,403
Let's do this, let's do this, yes,
yes, yes. It's happening!
314
00:18:30,403 --> 00:18:32,643
You good, yeah,?
You and Sades are good, yeah?
315
00:18:32,643 --> 00:18:36,163
Hey, what's happening? Hey, this
fiasco anything to do with you?
Eh!
316
00:18:36,163 --> 00:18:38,443
Long time, babe! You all right?
317
00:18:38,443 --> 00:18:41,243
Go inside! Oh, my brother,
are you good, yeah?
318
00:18:41,243 --> 00:18:44,563
Go and get a drink, yeah?
Hey... Hey, mate, what...? What?
319
00:18:44,563 --> 00:18:46,883
What now, bruv?
What do you mean "what now"?
320
00:18:46,883 --> 00:18:49,523
You've commandeered the whole
cul-de-sac. It's like an NCP!
321
00:18:49,523 --> 00:18:52,563
You've blocked my drive, mate.
It's like joyriders are parked here.
322
00:18:52,563 --> 00:18:55,403
You could get a bus out of there.
You want me to do it for you?
323
00:18:55,403 --> 00:18:59,563
That is a legal turning point!
You said that before.
324
00:18:59,563 --> 00:19:04,443
And I'll say it again cos it...
Honestly, I'm in a rush, yeah,
a real rush, my son has a very
325
00:19:04,443 --> 00:19:07,403
prestigious golf tournament
that I must get to.
326
00:19:07,403 --> 00:19:09,083
Oh, g-g-golf?
327
00:19:09,083 --> 00:19:12,483
Oh, really that's actually...
That's interesting, Gary, tell me
more about that.
328
00:19:12,483 --> 00:19:15,723
Well, it's at Pinewood, just round
the corner there.
329
00:19:15,723 --> 00:19:19,883
Beautiful, 18-holer, 50 entrees
from round the country, you know,
330
00:19:19,883 --> 00:19:22,483
top golfers, top young golfers
and my Teddy is...
331
00:19:22,483 --> 00:19:24,843
What, he's one of them?
Yeah, his first tournament.
332
00:19:24,843 --> 00:19:29,363
He's only taken up the game recent
like, and you couldn't imagine.
He's a bad boy, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
333
00:19:29,363 --> 00:19:31,403
I'm excited. Oh, mate!
334
00:19:31,403 --> 00:19:34,243
You're boring me, mate!
Let's do this!
335
00:19:35,723 --> 00:19:37,763
Get the cars moved, mate!
Shut up!
336
00:19:37,763 --> 00:19:39,643
Don't to come down hard, mate!
Serious.
337
00:19:39,643 --> 00:19:41,283
Love a party, but 10am.
338
00:19:41,283 --> 00:19:44,163
Boys, what's going on?
What kind of people are ya?
339
00:20:02,043 --> 00:20:05,163
A busy restaurant
so I couldn't make a scene?
340
00:20:05,163 --> 00:20:07,843
This ain't my first rodeo, Den.
341
00:20:07,843 --> 00:20:09,083
So talk.
342
00:20:11,243 --> 00:20:14,203
I got a deal for you on the table.
343
00:20:14,203 --> 00:20:18,843
I'll give you three of the Orpington
Kings, two of the Canvey Island lot.
344
00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:22,763
Very gracious of you.
I'm sensing a but in there.
345
00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:24,763
Haven't actually finished,
thank you.
346
00:20:26,403 --> 00:20:31,003
And your cousin Creamy, but Winkle
can't come, Gary hates him.
347
00:20:31,003 --> 00:20:34,803
And there's the but.
That's not the big but actually,
the biggest but is yet to come
348
00:20:34,803 --> 00:20:36,843
if you'll let me finish, so...
349
00:20:36,843 --> 00:20:40,763
I will give you all of that and
you can make the bridesmaid dresses,
350
00:20:40,763 --> 00:20:43,443
but you let me
run the rest on my terms,
351
00:20:43,443 --> 00:20:48,363
that includes Chloe as the wedding
planner and you stop being busy.
352
00:20:48,363 --> 00:20:52,083
I am not busy.
Oh, you're so busy.
353
00:20:52,083 --> 00:20:55,323
I'm not busy. You're very busy.
I am not busy. Busy.
354
00:20:55,323 --> 00:20:57,083
I am not busy.
355
00:21:03,083 --> 00:21:06,163
Oh, yeah, and it's in Ireland.
356
00:21:06,163 --> 00:21:11,203
Overseas? A foreign wedding? Not
of this shores? Are you for real?!
357
00:21:11,203 --> 00:21:14,923
Selfish. It's Ireland, Denise.
It's like 40 quid on Aer Lingus.
358
00:21:14,923 --> 00:21:19,963
I am dumbstruck.
So much can go wrong with going
away it's a lot to ask of people.
359
00:21:19,963 --> 00:21:23,923
What about Gemma and Franco, Cancun?
We'll be different.
360
00:21:23,923 --> 00:21:26,403
Will you? Will you really?
361
00:21:26,403 --> 00:21:30,003
150 people was invited,
seven turned up,
362
00:21:30,003 --> 00:21:34,203
was heart-breaking for those of us
there, all the photos was close ups.
363
00:21:34,203 --> 00:21:39,843
You listen here. This is our
wedding, we do it our way, OK?
364
00:21:39,843 --> 00:21:41,443
Fine.
365
00:21:41,443 --> 00:21:44,003
You've made your position
very clear.
366
00:21:44,003 --> 00:21:46,323
You won't hear one more
peep from me. Good.
367
00:21:46,323 --> 00:21:49,643
I'll turn up for the wedding,
I'll get leathered, I'll
368
00:21:49,643 --> 00:21:53,043
smile for the snaps, I'll do the
Oops Upside Your Head and that is
369
00:21:53,043 --> 00:21:59,483
it, but rest assured, you and little
Gary will at some point need me.
370
00:21:59,483 --> 00:22:01,923
Pss... OK. And I won't be around
to help.
371
00:22:04,083 --> 00:22:05,483
Know that.
372
00:22:07,483 --> 00:22:08,883
That known.
373
00:22:18,763 --> 00:22:21,523
Sorry, I thought you were going to
storm out there, or do something.
374
00:22:21,523 --> 00:22:24,683
I've ordered my lunch,
be rude to leave it.
375
00:22:24,683 --> 00:22:25,963
You can storm out if you want to.
376
00:22:25,963 --> 00:22:28,723
I ain't going nowhere, but know that
if I wasn't also looking forward
377
00:22:28,723 --> 00:22:31,603
to this reem cuisine, or if we'd
already eaten I'd have just left,
so...
378
00:22:31,603 --> 00:22:34,323
Well, you'd have been leaving an
empty table, because if you'd have
379
00:22:34,323 --> 00:22:37,163
said what you'd have said before
ordering, I'd have left right then.
380
00:22:37,163 --> 00:22:39,603
There would never have been
an empty table for me cos you
381
00:22:39,603 --> 00:22:43,763
sat down before me, so knowing what
I know now I'd have told
you not even taken my coat off,
382
00:22:43,763 --> 00:22:46,443
left and left you alone at
the table. I'm so tired.
383
00:22:46,443 --> 00:22:47,803
You tire me out.
384
00:22:52,723 --> 00:22:54,163
Bon appetit(!)
385
00:23:11,043 --> 00:23:12,883
Here come the Kings!
386
00:23:17,083 --> 00:23:19,363
Here comes Teddy King, mate!
387
00:23:22,203 --> 00:23:25,123
Teddy King is here! Woo!
Teddy King is here!
388
00:23:25,123 --> 00:23:28,203
Don't know the name, you're
about to know, mate. You're about...
389
00:23:28,203 --> 00:23:31,123
How you doing, mate? Gary King.
Daddy caddy to Teddy King.
390
00:23:31,123 --> 00:23:34,083
Where you been?
Doing a YouTube press conference
with him, mate.
391
00:23:34,083 --> 00:23:36,843
Just doing some Q&As, OK?
392
00:23:37,923 --> 00:23:42,483
Here he is, Teddy King,
the jewel in the King crown!
393
00:23:42,483 --> 00:23:45,723
There we go, mate. You ready there?
Get ready, good boy.
394
00:23:45,723 --> 00:23:49,563
SILENCE! Silence, please!
Show some respect!
395
00:23:49,563 --> 00:23:51,483
MOUTHS
396
00:23:51,483 --> 00:23:54,883
Binos, mate, want your binos?
It's a par three, Gary.
It ain't 400 yards.
397
00:23:54,883 --> 00:23:57,843
OK, no to binos, fine, OK.
Just asking, mate.
398
00:23:57,843 --> 00:24:00,563
Just relax, Ted, yeah?
Take your time, just relax.
399
00:24:00,563 --> 00:24:04,683
Ted, message for your followers,
mate. Put that away, you marrow!
Say hello.
400
00:24:04,683 --> 00:24:08,083
Gary, put that away! Little quote?
Put it away, Gary!
401
00:24:08,083 --> 00:24:11,523
OK, no, fine, cool.
Ted, just ignore that idiot, yeah?
402
00:24:11,523 --> 00:24:14,523
That's great cos that's in the video
now, mate, so well done.
403
00:24:14,523 --> 00:24:16,283
That's it, Ted. Go on, mate.
404
00:24:16,283 --> 00:24:18,203
Oh, no!
405
00:24:18,203 --> 00:24:21,843
What's that? What happened there?
406
00:24:21,843 --> 00:24:24,083
It's nerves, innit?
407
00:24:24,083 --> 00:24:26,163
Got to be nerves. Better be nerves!
408
00:24:33,923 --> 00:24:36,643
Yep, that's a wedger.
409
00:24:36,643 --> 00:24:41,803
Ah! Yeperooni,
get the old wedger on that, mate.
410
00:24:41,803 --> 00:24:45,083
That's a little wedger. Get
a-wedging mate. Get that wedge.
411
00:24:45,083 --> 00:24:48,043
Get ready for this!
See what the boy can do, you mugs!
412
00:24:49,683 --> 00:24:51,603
SPLASH
413
00:24:53,723 --> 00:24:55,123
What?!
414
00:25:03,083 --> 00:25:08,003
Umpire! How can you expect anyone
to play in this grass?
415
00:25:08,003 --> 00:25:10,283
Look at the length of it,
honestly, mate!
416
00:25:10,283 --> 00:25:14,723
You could hide a stolen car in here.
What's up with him? His nut's gone,
innit?
417
00:25:14,723 --> 00:25:18,363
Do you want me to have a word? He's
playing possum, he's playing possum.
What, in golf?!
418
00:25:18,363 --> 00:25:19,643
Well, he's a maverick!
419
00:25:23,403 --> 00:25:28,203
What's going on, boy? What's
happening? What's going on? Dad, I
don't want to do this any more.
420
00:25:28,203 --> 00:25:31,363
You do, you love...
You love your golf. You do, mate.
421
00:25:31,363 --> 00:25:35,563
Honestly, get your head together,
mate, and you'll enjoy it.
We love our golf, don't we?
422
00:25:35,563 --> 00:25:39,083
No, Dad, I only really play to make
you and Grandad happy, and then Mrs
423
00:25:39,083 --> 00:25:42,803
Grant looked so sad when I said I
wasn't going to do the spelling bee.
424
00:25:42,803 --> 00:25:47,643
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, can't you
see? That is not on you, she will
get over it.
425
00:25:47,643 --> 00:25:51,643
But I like the spelling bee, Dad.
The adrenaline, the apprehension,
426
00:25:51,643 --> 00:25:54,483
the furore. I don't know what
any of those words mean.
427
00:25:54,483 --> 00:25:58,443
It feels like you're just using
long words to show off.
Long words is how I show off, Dad.
428
00:25:58,443 --> 00:26:01,283
It's what I'm good at, not golf!
429
00:26:04,763 --> 00:26:08,243
Wow! Wow-wee...
430
00:26:09,403 --> 00:26:10,843
That's told me.
431
00:26:11,843 --> 00:26:13,123
Needed to hear it, though.
432
00:26:16,243 --> 00:26:19,803
I'm sorry, mate. Honestly,
I really am, and I'm proud of you
433
00:26:19,803 --> 00:26:24,763
for displaying your feelings in such
a way, and I feel emotionally winded
434
00:26:24,763 --> 00:26:28,563
mate, feel like the stuffing's
just been kicked out of my arse,
honestly.
435
00:26:28,563 --> 00:26:31,323
P-f-f-f-f-b-b-b!
436
00:26:34,083 --> 00:26:35,963
Gee-whizz!
437
00:26:35,963 --> 00:26:39,243
You are like a little boy who's
actually an old man because of the
438
00:26:39,243 --> 00:26:42,843
way you see the world and that is
the thing I'm proudest of with you.
439
00:26:42,843 --> 00:26:45,003
Game over, game over!
440
00:26:45,003 --> 00:26:47,083
Official statement to follow! What?!
441
00:26:50,283 --> 00:26:55,043
He ain't playing, Dad. He ain't
playing. Well, make him play. We put
a lot of time and effort in here.
442
00:26:55,043 --> 00:26:59,523
I'm not going to ride him
like you rode me.
443
00:26:59,523 --> 00:27:02,683
Sucking the joy and the fun
out of everything what I did,
444
00:27:02,683 --> 00:27:06,963
stifling my natural ability. But you
never had any natural ability.
445
00:27:08,643 --> 00:27:10,363
Come on. Let's go, mate.
446
00:27:15,723 --> 00:27:17,443
Ready, Teddy?
447
00:27:17,443 --> 00:27:22,043
OK, the first word is...pressurised.
448
00:27:22,043 --> 00:27:24,963
That's pressurised.
449
00:27:24,963 --> 00:27:26,763
Ooh, that's a tough one!
450
00:27:26,763 --> 00:27:28,683
P-R
451
00:27:28,683 --> 00:27:32,083
E-S-S-U
452
00:27:32,083 --> 00:27:35,243
R-I-S-E-D.
453
00:27:36,923 --> 00:27:39,403
That's correct. Yes!
454
00:27:39,403 --> 00:27:41,523
Well done.
455
00:27:41,523 --> 00:27:47,163
The next word is...manipulated.
456
00:27:47,163 --> 00:27:50,163
That's manipulated.
457
00:27:51,923 --> 00:27:54,603
M-A-N
458
00:27:54,603 --> 00:27:57,363
I-P-U
459
00:27:57,363 --> 00:28:02,243
L-A-T-E-D.
460
00:28:02,243 --> 00:28:08,123
Correct. Eh! Get in son! Lovely
spelling. Lully spelling, mate!
461
00:28:08,123 --> 00:28:12,803
Good spelling there.
Nice that wasn't it? Nice spelling,
very eloquent.
462
00:28:12,803 --> 00:28:16,403
And for the win,
the final word is...
463
00:28:17,923 --> 00:28:19,923
..Ignoramus.
464
00:28:27,923 --> 00:28:30,563
That's ignoramus.