1
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Previously on "Broke..."

2
00:00:03,487 --> 00:00:05,337
My family used to be
just me and my mom,

3
00:00:05,361 --> 00:00:07,578
until one day, the doorbell rang.

4
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It was my mom's sister, Aunt Lizzie...

5
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- Jackie, it is us.
- Hi, there.

6
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...her husband Tío Javi and Luis.

7
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Who is Luis, you ask?

8
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Luis is my assistant, my driver,
but more important, my friend.

9
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Tío Javi messed
up and lost all his money, so he

10
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and Aunt Lizzie had to move in with us,

11
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which is great,
because now the house is loud

12
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and busy and fun.

13
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And I hope it stays that way.

14
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My desire for you burns
hotter than the sun.

15
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I can feel myself sizzling.

16
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Guys.

17
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Sammy, time for bed.

18
00:00:41,721 --> 00:00:43,069
But it's only 8:00.

19
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True, but you got dinner and a show.

20
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So say good night,

21
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and I'll be up to read you
a bedtime story in a minute.

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Night, Luis.

23
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Good night, Sammy.

24
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- Night, Tío Javi.
- Sweet dreams, Samuelito.

25
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Good night, Tía Lizzie.

26
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Uh...

27
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That was hard to watch.

28
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Like a puppy trying to embrace a cactus.

29
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Seriously, guys.

30
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That's enough with the PDA.

31
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- PD-what?
- PDA.

32
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Public displays of affection.

33
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Kissing, hugging, a flirty glance.

34
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It's creepy.

35
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And what is Sammy supposed to think?

36
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That we are two people in a
loving, committed relationship?

37
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Like I said, creepy.

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Jackie, do you want to know what I think?

39
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Never.

40
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I think, if somebody is
bothered by affection,

41
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somebody could be missing it
in their own life,

42
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and somebody needs to date.

43
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Somebody is you.

44
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Elizabeth is right.

45
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You must find someone
to share your dreams with.

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I don't have time for dreams or dates.

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I am a single mother
and I have enough on my plate.

48
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But now that Elizabeth and I
live here in the family bosom,

49
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we can watch Sammy.

50
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Feel free to find love.

51
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Perhaps it would be good for you
to go out on a date.

52
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Perhaps it would be good
for you to go out on a date.

53
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No.

54
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Jackie's right.

55
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It's been too long since you've had love.

56
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- No.
- Oh.

57
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Come on. Imagine
the romantic possibilities

58
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in Reseda, Tarzana, Burbank.

59
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Elizabeth, you know what I'm thinking?

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Always.

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I will find a man for Jackie...

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And I will find a man for Luis.

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There is no way in hell
I'm letting my sister

64
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set me up on a date.

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Oh, don't worry. Javier and Elizabeth

66
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have the best intentions,
but the worst follow-through.

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The dates will never happen.

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Tonight, the dates will happen.

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I am still amazed
you actually followed through.

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As am I.

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Jackie, I picked up a ton of things

72
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that will really make you
sparkle for your date.

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I don't want anything
that's gonna make me look

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like a desperate hooker.

75
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I picked out one thing

76
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that will really make you
sparkle for your date.

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Fake eyelashes?

78
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I came home a couple weeks ago

79
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with fake eyelashes and you hated them.

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Because they were
on the headlights of your car.

81
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It feels like there's spiders
attacking my eyes.

82
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Don't think of it as attacking.

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Think of it as eight legs
weaving silk into your face.

84
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Ron's gonna love it.

85
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I don't know about this guy.

86
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You met him in the parking lot
of Neiman Marcus.

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No, but he was carrying
a shopping bag from Denim Barn.

88
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Plus, he's a single dad who drives

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an absolutely filthy pickup truck.

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Now I'm listening.

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And the best part is, with Ron,

92
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there's no ex-wife in the picture.

93
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His wife is dead.

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Dead wife and a filthy truck.

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Let's do this thing.

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Ow.

97
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Uh, maybe lose the lashes.

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Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com

99
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Okay, have a good night.

100
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And listen to your aunt and uncle.

101
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Stop. I want to smell like me, not you.

102
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Or... use your best judgment.

103
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- I won't be home too late.
- Ooh.

104
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Unless things go well, and
you wake up in the back

105
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of his pickup truck on a pile
of Burger King wrappers.

106
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That is not who I am.

107
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Anymore.

108
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And don't worry, Jackie, I will
tell Sammy his bedtime story.

109
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Okay, but I don't want
him having nightmares.

110
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So no scary stories about ghosts
or goblins or the president.

111
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- I love you.
- Love you, too.

112
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All right, well, bye!

113
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Do everything I wouldn't do.

114
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All right. Let the family fun begin!

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Yes!

116
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Yes... Whoa.

117
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Mi amor,

118
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aren't you gonna help us
cook dinner tonight?

119
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Uh, I would, but I have
an incredibly busy evening.

120
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I have to take a bath and then dry off

121
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and you know, Brexit.

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Uh, are you okay with this, Sammy?

123
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Sure. It's not like we hang out anyway.

124
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Well, you should.

125
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Why don't you pick out
something for dinner tonight?

126
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I am told we have Hamburger Helpers,

127
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Tuna Helpers and Chicken Helpers.

128
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Could we mix all the Helpers together?

129
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What a daring idea.

130
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Go gather the Helpers.

131
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It's been so long since
I've been able to say that.

132
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Mi corazón, why don'tly,
you join us downstairs?

133
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Oh, uh, I'd love to,
but I'm currently upstairs.

134
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Oh, but this is the perfect
opportunity for you

135
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to get to know your remarkable nephew,

136
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and for him to get to know
his incredible aunt.

137
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That's sweet of you to say, but Javi,

138
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I'm just not that great with kids.

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I mean, you know, once
they can legally drink,

140
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we have something to talk about, but...

141
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That's probably why, even
though we froze my eggs...

142
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We never picked a date to defrost.

143
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But this isn't about that.

144
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This is about now, with Sammy.

145
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Just be yourself.

146
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Be the funny, fascinating,

147
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incredible, beautiful woman you are.

148
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That shouldn't be too hard.

149
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Mmm.

150
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This Helper medley is sublime.

151
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- It sure is.
- Mm-hmm.

152
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So, what should
the three of us do tonight

153
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that's super, super fun?

154
00:07:00,838 --> 00:07:03,217
Uh, do you have a favorite rom-com?

155
00:07:06,750 --> 00:07:08,725
BuzzFeed Quizzes are fun.

156
00:07:08,749 --> 00:07:10,379
Yeah!

157
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Do you have a rubber ducky?

158
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I was hoping we could make slime.

159
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:23,481
Oh, yes. I have scaled Kilimanjaro,

160
00:07:23,505 --> 00:07:25,959
slept in the arms of a polar bear,

161
00:07:25,983 --> 00:07:28,067
but I have never made slime.

162
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Making slime in Reseda.

163
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Isn't that a bit redundant?

164
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Let's make slime.

165
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Yes, yes. Let's make slime.

166
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Bad date?

167
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Total train wreck.

168
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Mine, too. I just didn't
want to go home early

169
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and tell Lizzie and Javi about it.

170
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Because they would immediately
try to set us up on more dates.

171
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Exactly. Another shot?

172
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Sure, but it will take more than one

173
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to make me forget
the worst date in history.

174
00:08:00,348 --> 00:08:02,789
Charles was exactly as Javier described.

175
00:08:02,813 --> 00:08:04,887
Smart, charming, attractive.

176
00:08:04,911 --> 00:08:07,352
I'm just happy the whole
small plates thing is over.

177
00:08:07,376 --> 00:08:09,184
I left every restaurant hangry.

178
00:08:09,208 --> 00:08:10,784
Oh. How about,

179
00:08:10,808 --> 00:08:12,882
"Have you had the caramelized
Brussels sprouts?

180
00:08:12,906 --> 00:08:14,981
You must have the caramelized
Brussels sprouts."

181
00:08:15,511 --> 00:08:18,472
Thanks, I had them. In 2017.

182
00:08:20,335 --> 00:08:21,976
I was on fire.

183
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,475
It was all good until the waiter arrived.

184
00:08:24,499 --> 00:08:26,507
Good evening. Would you like
to hear the specials?

185
00:08:26,531 --> 00:08:28,330
- We would.
- Tonight's special

186
00:08:28,353 --> 00:08:30,370
is a 33-year-old fool from Minnesota

187
00:08:30,394 --> 00:08:32,136
who let his one true love slip away.

188
00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:33,935
We recommend pairing it

189
00:08:33,959 --> 00:08:36,633
with a beautiful man who's
hopefully ready to forgive?

190
00:08:37,441 --> 00:08:38,798
Oh, Jeremy.

191
00:08:39,065 --> 00:08:40,831
Of course I forgive you.

192
00:08:40,855 --> 00:08:42,496
I only brought him here
to make you jealous.

193
00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:45,360
Oh! You're the love of my life,
Charles.

194
00:08:45,384 --> 00:08:47,393
And you're the love of mine.

195
00:08:48,684 --> 00:08:51,179
Excuse me, could I see the wine list?

196
00:08:52,973 --> 00:08:54,621
That was a bad date.

197
00:08:54,645 --> 00:08:57,619
But mine was worse.

198
00:08:57,643 --> 00:08:59,351
Ron was cute.

199
00:08:59,375 --> 00:09:00,684
And the night started off okay.

200
00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:02,116
Until the cops showed up.

201
00:09:02,592 --> 00:09:03,981
Ronald Palmer,

202
00:09:04,005 --> 00:09:05,514
you're under arrest for
the murder of Cynthia Martin.

203
00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:08,345
Wait, who's Cynthia Martin?

204
00:09:08,369 --> 00:09:09,611
My wife.

205
00:09:09,828 --> 00:09:11,103
I thought your wife was dead.

206
00:09:11,544 --> 00:09:13,098
She is.

207
00:09:14,791 --> 00:09:17,440
So... I win.

208
00:09:17,789 --> 00:09:20,837
You would, if any of that
were true, and not

209
00:09:20,861 --> 00:09:24,410
from an episode of Blue Bloods
we watched last night.

210
00:09:25,784 --> 00:09:27,766
Okay, but my real date was brutal.

211
00:09:27,790 --> 00:09:29,513
And I would've been here earlier,

212
00:09:29,537 --> 00:09:31,130
but I took the 134 to the 101

213
00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:33,096
to Woodman to Sepulveda.

214
00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:36,128
I should've taken the surface
streets. Magnolia to Chandler,

215
00:09:36,152 --> 00:09:39,225
Chandler to Fuller,
you're supposed to wait...

216
00:09:39,249 --> 00:09:41,956
But on the other hand, with
all the turns and... sometimes

217
00:09:41,980 --> 00:09:43,789
I get an upset stomach,
but you should never...

218
00:09:48,369 --> 00:09:50,269
And I would have left earlier, but...

219
00:09:50,293 --> 00:09:51,668
shrimp cocktail.

220
00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:53,890
Oh, you never leave a shrimp cocktail.

221
00:09:54,390 --> 00:09:55,665
Hey, you want to play pool?

222
00:09:55,690 --> 00:09:57,365
Sure. But I should warn you,

223
00:09:57,390 --> 00:09:59,331
I'm an excellent pool player.

224
00:09:59,487 --> 00:10:01,495
Then I should warn you.

225
00:10:01,519 --> 00:10:03,051
I cheat.

226
00:10:04,776 --> 00:10:06,584
Does someone have a tissue?

227
00:10:08,379 --> 00:10:10,610
Too late.

228
00:10:12,052 --> 00:10:14,027
I get it. It's disgusting.

229
00:10:14,477 --> 00:10:16,352
I've never made this much slime before.

230
00:10:16,376 --> 00:10:18,650
Wait, we could have made less?

231
00:10:18,674 --> 00:10:20,316
Can we make more slime tomorrow?

232
00:10:20,339 --> 00:10:21,537
Tomorrow? Uh...

233
00:10:22,672 --> 00:10:24,280
Uh, uh, why not?

234
00:10:24,304 --> 00:10:26,779
I'll just cancel the manicure
I so desperately...

235
00:10:28,168 --> 00:10:30,076
What's wrong? What's wrong?

236
00:10:30,100 --> 00:10:32,084
My ring! My engagement ring! It's gone!

237
00:10:32,108 --> 00:10:34,440
Don't worry, darling,
it is a very tiny kitchen.

238
00:10:34,464 --> 00:10:35,974
I promise I will find your ring.

239
00:10:37,412 --> 00:10:39,597
I did not find your ring.

240
00:10:40,783 --> 00:10:42,239
So that's it.

241
00:10:42,263 --> 00:10:43,753
My ring is gone.

242
00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:45,165
My life is over.

243
00:10:45,190 --> 00:10:46,781
There's no point in going on.

244
00:10:46,805 --> 00:10:48,092
I don't need a ring.

245
00:10:48,117 --> 00:10:49,371
Nobody needs a ring.

246
00:10:49,395 --> 00:10:50,986
I mean, what's a ring anyway?

247
00:10:51,010 --> 00:10:53,172
It's just a thing,
and what's a thing? Nothing.

248
00:10:53,196 --> 00:10:55,696
People lose things all the time,
right? Like-like us.

249
00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:57,209
We lost everything, and who cares?

250
00:10:57,233 --> 00:10:58,983
Not me. I don't care!

251
00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:01,819
I'll be perfectly fine!

252
00:11:01,843 --> 00:11:05,014
I'll be perfectly fine
and perfectly great!

253
00:11:05,038 --> 00:11:06,495
I will be perfectly fine

254
00:11:06,519 --> 00:11:08,514
and perfectly great,

255
00:11:08,538 --> 00:11:11,262
and I will be upstairs!

256
00:11:12,525 --> 00:11:14,726
Is Tía Lizzie gonna be okay?

257
00:11:16,578 --> 00:11:18,740
Of course, Sammy.

258
00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:21,466
Don't ever listen to the
tone of a person's voice.

259
00:11:21,490 --> 00:11:23,988
Only listen to their actually words.

260
00:11:24,013 --> 00:11:27,622
If Tía Lizzie says she's fine,
then she's gonna be fine,

261
00:11:27,646 --> 00:11:31,020
no matter how much her tiny
little shoulders are shaking.

262
00:11:31,044 --> 00:11:35,057
But because you are concerned...

263
00:11:35,081 --> 00:11:36,677
I'm gonna go check on her.

264
00:11:42,533 --> 00:11:43,881
Oh, darling, I know you're upset,

265
00:11:43,901 --> 00:11:46,216
but as soon as we get our
money back, I promise

266
00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:47,665
I will buy you a new ring.

267
00:11:47,689 --> 00:11:50,198
And this promise I will keep,
unlike the one where I said,

268
00:11:50,222 --> 00:11:52,487
"I promise I will find your ring."

269
00:11:53,689 --> 00:11:55,798
Oh, Javi, it's not just the ring.

270
00:11:56,130 --> 00:11:57,998
Everything's changed so fast.

271
00:11:58,022 --> 00:12:00,698
Last year we were in Rome making love.

272
00:12:00,722 --> 00:12:04,298
Now we're in Reseda making slime.

273
00:12:04,589 --> 00:12:07,465
Well, perhaps you don't
have a fancy ring, and...

274
00:12:07,489 --> 00:12:10,741
perhaps we're not making love
in a glamorous city like Rome

275
00:12:10,765 --> 00:12:14,265
or Paris or Burbank...

276
00:12:14,755 --> 00:12:16,198
but perhaps...

277
00:12:16,222 --> 00:12:18,131
Tía Lizzie! I found it!
I found your ring!

278
00:12:18,155 --> 00:12:20,098
Oh, thank God. I didn't
know where I was going

279
00:12:20,122 --> 00:12:21,698
with that last "perhaps."

280
00:12:21,722 --> 00:12:23,465
Oh, Sammy, thank you!

281
00:12:23,489 --> 00:12:25,698
I think the slime made
the ring fly off your finger.

282
00:12:25,722 --> 00:12:27,832
I found it in the Secret Treasure Hole.

283
00:12:27,856 --> 00:12:29,531
Oh, did you hear that, Javi? He found it

284
00:12:29,555 --> 00:12:31,465
in the Secret Treasure Hole!

285
00:12:31,489 --> 00:12:33,632
Wait. How do you know
about the Secret Treasure Hole?

286
00:12:33,656 --> 00:12:35,031
No, wait, wait. What is this hole?

287
00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:36,265
And why is it secret?

288
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:37,698
Well, when Jackie and I were kids,

289
00:12:37,722 --> 00:12:39,098
we found a hole

290
00:12:39,122 --> 00:12:40,765
underneath a cracked tile in the kitchen,

291
00:12:40,789 --> 00:12:42,865
and so if one of us was feeling down,

292
00:12:42,889 --> 00:12:45,098
the other would leave
a small secret gift:

293
00:12:45,122 --> 00:12:47,098
a cute barrette, a colored pencil...

294
00:12:47,122 --> 00:12:48,998
Mom leaves me stuff there now.

295
00:12:49,368 --> 00:12:50,899
Really?

296
00:12:53,107 --> 00:12:55,465
That is so cool you guys still do that.

297
00:12:57,003 --> 00:12:59,465
Well, it's bedtime,
and I promised I would tell you a story.

298
00:12:59,489 --> 00:13:01,098
Would you like a little preview?

299
00:13:01,122 --> 00:13:02,832
- Sure.
- Well, the bedtime story

300
00:13:02,856 --> 00:13:05,498
will be loosely based
on One Hundred Years of Solitude

301
00:13:05,522 --> 00:13:07,720
by Gabriel García Márquez.

302
00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:10,832
Spoiler alert:

303
00:13:10,856 --> 00:13:13,703
you will come to question
all preconceived notions

304
00:13:13,727 --> 00:13:15,365
of timelessness and eternity

305
00:13:15,389 --> 00:13:19,387
within the framework of mortal existence.

306
00:13:20,856 --> 00:13:21,832
No?

307
00:13:23,322 --> 00:13:26,487
Elizabeth... do you have a bedtime story?

308
00:13:28,722 --> 00:13:30,098
I know what you're doing.

309
00:13:30,122 --> 00:13:32,298
I know you know, but I'm still doing it.

310
00:13:32,322 --> 00:13:33,654
She said yes!

311
00:13:36,188 --> 00:13:39,131
Okay, if I sink this, I win again.

312
00:13:39,155 --> 00:13:40,331
I'm sorry.

313
00:13:40,355 --> 00:13:43,271
When I sink this, I win again.

314
00:13:44,255 --> 00:13:45,498
Don't miss!

315
00:13:45,522 --> 00:13:47,220
Ow!

316
00:13:48,856 --> 00:13:50,698
Told you I cheat.

317
00:13:50,722 --> 00:13:52,164
Sorry, Max.

318
00:13:52,188 --> 00:13:54,798
My friend here is a terrible pool player.

319
00:13:54,822 --> 00:13:57,131
It's okay. I'm just glad
you're not playing darts.

320
00:13:59,555 --> 00:14:01,220
Good point.

321
00:14:02,622 --> 00:14:04,298
You get it, because...

322
00:14:04,322 --> 00:14:07,053
darts... are pointy.

323
00:14:08,964 --> 00:14:11,498
I bet you wish you'd kept that inside.

324
00:14:11,922 --> 00:14:13,487
Very much so.

325
00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:17,164
I'm sorry. My banter is

326
00:14:17,188 --> 00:14:18,632
extremely rusty.

327
00:14:18,656 --> 00:14:20,865
I haven't been a relationship in a while.

328
00:14:20,889 --> 00:14:22,965
Oh, yeah, Lizzie said
you had a serious thing

329
00:14:22,989 --> 00:14:24,431
that ended a few years ago.

330
00:14:24,455 --> 00:14:25,798
Juan Pablo.

331
00:14:26,130 --> 00:14:27,531
He was a jockey.

332
00:14:27,881 --> 00:14:29,832
A tiny but powerful man.

333
00:14:30,130 --> 00:14:31,665
Strong jaw.

334
00:14:31,922 --> 00:14:34,887
Thighs like a nutcracker,
and I was his walnut.

335
00:14:37,822 --> 00:14:41,298
But relationships are not built
on thighs alone.

336
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:42,865
They're built on trust!

337
00:14:42,889 --> 00:14:44,186
Ow!

338
00:14:45,389 --> 00:14:47,031
Sorry about earlier. You probably learned

339
00:14:47,055 --> 00:14:48,832
a few new curse words today.

340
00:14:48,856 --> 00:14:51,787
No. I've driven with my mom.

341
00:14:53,522 --> 00:14:55,999
Okay, what kind of stories do you like?

342
00:14:56,022 --> 00:14:57,598
Scary stories.

343
00:14:57,622 --> 00:14:59,331
Scary stories.

344
00:15:00,193 --> 00:15:01,391
Okay.

345
00:15:02,130 --> 00:15:04,031
Once upon a time, in a...

346
00:15:04,055 --> 00:15:07,164
faraway land known as...

347
00:15:07,188 --> 00:15:09,598
Reseda...

348
00:15:10,297 --> 00:15:12,665
there lived a brave young prince

349
00:15:12,689 --> 00:15:15,061
and his petite, charming aunt,

350
00:15:15,085 --> 00:15:16,531
who the townspeople would often mistake

351
00:15:16,555 --> 00:15:18,964
for his slightly older sister.

352
00:15:19,956 --> 00:15:22,698
Anyway, one dark, starless night,

353
00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:24,431
in the land of...

354
00:15:24,455 --> 00:15:26,505
Reseda!

355
00:15:28,255 --> 00:15:30,406
...the young prince and his aunt...

356
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,516
who was once mistaken for Mila Kunis

357
00:15:32,540 --> 00:15:34,431
at New York's Fashion Week...

358
00:15:34,455 --> 00:15:38,932
joined forces
to defeat a giant green blob

359
00:15:38,956 --> 00:15:42,265
who was terrorizing the
countryside by devouring

360
00:15:42,289 --> 00:15:44,798
all the diamonds in its path.

361
00:15:45,213 --> 00:15:48,620
The diamonds, of course,
were not blood diamonds.

362
00:15:48,644 --> 00:15:50,613
At least that is
what the jeweler told me...

363
00:15:50,637 --> 00:15:51,665
her.

364
00:15:52,214 --> 00:15:53,813
Ooh...

365
00:16:03,464 --> 00:16:04,531
I couldn't help

366
00:16:04,555 --> 00:16:05,999
but overhear your story,

367
00:16:06,023 --> 00:16:09,714
because I was
purposely listening right here.

368
00:16:11,130 --> 00:16:15,156
But I think maybe somebody's
better with children than...

369
00:16:15,406 --> 00:16:16,713
somebody thought.

370
00:16:18,130 --> 00:16:20,498
Maybe somebody is me.

371
00:16:20,522 --> 00:16:22,932
♪ ♪

372
00:16:22,956 --> 00:16:24,632
It's like, right when you get divorced,

373
00:16:24,656 --> 00:16:26,098
everyone's like.

374
00:16:26,122 --> 00:16:28,298
"Get back out there! Have fun!

375
00:16:28,322 --> 00:16:30,098
Go meet some people!"

376
00:16:30,122 --> 00:16:32,098
But meeting new people isn't fun.

377
00:16:32,122 --> 00:16:34,965
It's work. I tried dating
a couple of guys.

378
00:16:34,989 --> 00:16:36,498
But it takes so much time.

379
00:16:36,522 --> 00:16:38,598
So much effort. I was shaving my legs,

380
00:16:38,622 --> 00:16:40,865
like, twice a month.

381
00:16:40,889 --> 00:16:43,387
That is crazy.

382
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:48,889
You know, it's only when
I hear something funny,

383
00:16:48,913 --> 00:16:51,331
or... really sad,

384
00:16:51,713 --> 00:16:53,531
that I miss it.

385
00:16:54,297 --> 00:16:55,431
Miss what?

386
00:16:55,455 --> 00:16:59,954
Just having someone that
gets why it's funny or sad.

387
00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:03,464
Never mind.

388
00:17:05,505 --> 00:17:06,965
When you catch a firefly,

389
00:17:07,755 --> 00:17:10,032
and you hold it a moment
to capture the light,

390
00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:12,387
then just before you let it go,

391
00:17:12,411 --> 00:17:13,531
you turn...

392
00:17:14,047 --> 00:17:16,365
because you want someone else to see it.

393
00:17:17,006 --> 00:17:18,431
That's when I miss it.

394
00:17:18,797 --> 00:17:20,171
Having someone.

395
00:17:21,421 --> 00:17:23,965
Nice firefly story.

396
00:17:24,589 --> 00:17:26,654
It's much better
than the pointy dart bit.

397
00:17:33,079 --> 00:17:35,660
What a night. There was laughter,
there was tears,

398
00:17:35,681 --> 00:17:38,027
there was screaming, there was goo.

399
00:17:38,051 --> 00:17:41,430
I think we had the whole
parenting experience in one night.

400
00:17:41,454 --> 00:17:43,200
I'm not saying we're quite ready

401
00:17:43,224 --> 00:17:45,035
to have kids of our own, but...

402
00:17:45,059 --> 00:17:46,904
It's nice to know that if we do,

403
00:17:46,928 --> 00:17:49,407
we won't be completely terrible at it.

404
00:17:49,431 --> 00:17:51,534
Yeah, we'll just be as terrible
as every other mom and dad.

405
00:17:51,558 --> 00:17:53,779
Yes!

406
00:17:53,803 --> 00:17:55,968
And in the meantime,

407
00:17:55,992 --> 00:17:58,719
I'm very glad that my frozen eggs

408
00:17:58,743 --> 00:18:01,789
are under the watchful eye of Dr...

409
00:18:01,813 --> 00:18:04,092
Leonard Birnbaum.

410
00:18:04,116 --> 00:18:07,079
I never realized how sexy that name is.

411
00:18:07,554 --> 00:18:09,265
Say it again.

412
00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:10,958
Dr...

413
00:18:11,893 --> 00:18:13,127
Leonard...

414
00:18:14,170 --> 00:18:15,996
Birnbaum.

415
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:19,216
Classic.

416
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:21,413
You come home, and the
babysitter's making out

417
00:18:21,437 --> 00:18:23,181
with some dude on your couch.

418
00:18:23,687 --> 00:18:25,631
Jackie, Luis, how were your dates?

419
00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:28,021
First, is Sammy still alive?

420
00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:30,391
He's alive, he's asleep,

421
00:18:30,415 --> 00:18:32,838
and he really is the
sweetest kid I've ever met.

422
00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:34,696
That's all me, it's all me.

423
00:18:35,288 --> 00:18:36,700
So, did you have fun?

424
00:18:37,157 --> 00:18:40,304
Well, um, it was a little bumpy

425
00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:41,805
at first, but by the end

426
00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:44,009
of the evening, I think we really bonded.

427
00:18:44,033 --> 00:18:46,478
For me, also, there was no
chemistry at the beginning,

428
00:18:46,502 --> 00:18:49,081
but after we talked and drank and...

429
00:18:49,105 --> 00:18:52,775
drank and talked, we discovered
we had a lot in common.

430
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:54,988
That is great news. Because Javi and I

431
00:18:55,012 --> 00:18:57,220
have set up tons of people,
and they've all been disasters.

432
00:18:57,244 --> 00:18:59,260
Yes. We once accidentally

433
00:18:59,284 --> 00:19:01,363
started a war
between two small countries.

434
00:19:03,106 --> 00:19:04,471
But not tonight.

435
00:19:04,495 --> 00:19:07,437
- Not tonight.
- Not tonight.

436
00:19:07,461 --> 00:19:09,979
So, did you make plans
to see your dates again?

437
00:19:10,003 --> 00:19:13,011
Actually, I think we
will see each other again.

438
00:19:13,035 --> 00:19:15,447
Next... Thursday.

439
00:19:15,471 --> 00:19:18,718
I, too, have made a
date for next Thursday.

440
00:19:18,742 --> 00:19:21,713
Oh, wow, you both made dates
on the same day.

441
00:19:22,225 --> 00:19:24,225
Yeah.

442
00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:26,581
It's a coinkidink.

443
00:19:27,287 --> 00:19:29,906
Yes I can! I just don't
know what it means.