[bright instrumental music playing]
[Ravi] Here you go. I got that.
Oh, thank you. You know, I can't lift things. I--
I'm disabled! [chuckles]
Oh. Yeah, I'm really sorry about that.
Oh, I was… I was kidding.
Oh! [laughs nervously, then sighs]
Wait, what is there to do in Ojai anyway?
Oh, Ravi. Oh, sorry.
It's sort of like nature, but, like, make it rich.
Oh, uh…
Yeah, no. Don't worry about it. I got it.
Wouldn't want you to break a nail.
[quietly] Little bitches.
Oh, also, just to warn you,
I chopped up all my credit cards and put myself on a serious budget.
I'm determined to only spend $50 this weekend.
-[both gasp] -I'm so proud of you.
But, um, actually, we had 40 bucks budgeted each for groceries, so I don't…
Tight, tight, tight. I'm not going outside.
[chuckles]
Oh, shoot. Did I forget my lip gloss?
Gosh, Kim, why is no one ready?
-[drawls] Why is no one ready? -[singsong] Why is no one ready?
-[laughing] -[Ravi] Okay, what's happening?
-Why is everybody saying that? -[Kim sighs] Ryan.
Explain please.
We were doing Meryl Streep's iconic line reading from Devil Wears Prada, and--
We were trying to, but we can't do it, because she's Meryl and a genius.
-Right, yeah. Nah, I've never seen it. -[all] What?!
Okay, sorry!
-He's been inside of me. -I feel attacked.
-Whoa! Just a straight man. Don't hurt me. -You know what? It's fine.
It's what this trip is for, to reach across and educate.
[Kim] Uh-oh!
Found it! Let's go.
All right.
[Ravi, imitating quietly] Why? Why is no one ready?
-Why is no one ready? -Wow, this is like gay porn.
I'm gonna get it. I am going to get it.
[Ravi] Let's go! Gay porn. That's a compliment, right?
[Kim] We love gay porn.
[cheery instrumental music playing]
[amazed] What the fuck?
[Ryan scoffs] Okay, two twin beds.
How about you be Kabir, and I'll be Dasya?
Or we could both be Dasya.
Then we would have an entire bed just for our things.
-Which is very glamorous, don't you think? -Maybe.
[chuckling]
-Babe, you're kind of squishing me. -Yeah?
[tuts] Okay.
[Tanner] Sorry, um…
I need to do a wellness check on us. Are we okay?
What? Yeah, of course.
I just… I know we had a little bit of a baby fight at prom, and--
Babe, we're fine.
In fact, we're so fine that I'm fully prepared to share a twin bed with you.
[Tanner] Like, right now?
[Ryan] Yeah. Like, really right now.
-[Tanner] Am I still squishing you? -[laughs]
[bright instrumental music playing]
Welcome to Casa Verde.
Wow! This is stunning.
-Yeah, well, I put a lot of love into her. -Huh.
So, uh, what brings you to Carmel?
Well, it's a little treat to myself. [chuckles]
I'm 50, and I have never been away by myself before.
-Isn't that crazy? -Hm.
So I thought I would maybe go to a fancy dinner,
do a little dancing. [chuckles]
Gonna use your pool. I might even go shopping.
Do you know of a cute boutique?
Yeah, that all sounds great.
Listen, just one small thing.
My neighbors are kinda nosy, so if anybody asks,
you're Jenna,
my cousin from Minnesota.
[hesitates] Okay. [attempts accent] Jenna from Minnesota.
Also, the TV doesn't work. I disconnected the cable.
I don't need another way for the government to watch me.
Watch you do what?
I think I've said enough.
-Okay, you guys. One more question. -Easy.
Who's most likely to experience paranormal activity?
-Oh! -Oh, come on.
You wanna tell 'em the story?
Oh, you mean the story of how I really lost my virginity?
Did you fuck a ghost?
No!
-He fucked me. -[laughing]
-[Tanner] What? -He was huge!
Okay, we get it. You have herstory.
Now it's our turn, and we're gonna beat your asses.
Good luck to you.
-[Tanner] Too masc? -[Ryan] A little masc, but it was hot.
-Okay. First question. -Okay.
Who's most likely to get scammed?
-Oh, no points for you. -What?
I almost joined Scientology because they gave me a delicious free brunch.
I actually joined Andrew Keegan's beach cult in Venice for two weeks
'cause everybody was so hot.
-He got a beach cult? -Google it.
[Kim] Okay, guys, moving on.
[clears throat]
Who's most likely to be clumsy-dumsy and fall or break somethin'?
[Kim groans] No point.
-What? -I--
Bitch, I'm disabled! I trip all the time.
In dance, they called me "Butterfingers." I got injured once a month.
How can you be clumsy and a dancer?
-Okay, last question! -[Tanner] Give us one more.
Which one of you is most likely to win a dance competition?
[Tanner chuckles]
-Ding, ding! There you go. -[Tanner] Whoo!
You just gave that one to us, but thank you.
Well, we got it.
Huh.
[gentle instrumental music playing]
[plays piano softly]
[instrumental music continues]
[Ryan sighs]
[Ryan groans]
-Sorry. -[Tanner chuckles]
[Ryan chuckles]
Oh my God, babe.
-I'm sorry. -It's fine.
-Just, fuck this bed. -Fuck this bed.
[laughing]
-Come here. -[groans]
Oh, sorry. I hit you in the face.
-It's fine. I liked it. -Okay.
[soft groaning]
I think…
I think I wanna top.
-Are you sure? -Yeah.
Is there, um, lube?
-Yes. -Okay.
-Oh, okay. -Look what I have.
[quietly] Okay.
[bottle drops]
Okay.
All right.
[grunting]
-Okay. -[Tanner moans softly]
-[Ryan sighs] -[Tanner groans]
-Am I in? -Oh, you're in, babe.
Oh!
-I'm in. -We're in.
-We're fully in. Oh! -Oh!
[creaking and thumping]
[groaning]
-I think I'm gonna cum. -Gimme all your cum.
-Oh, fuck yeah. -Give it to me.
[climactic groaning]
-[Ryan sighs] -[Tanner pants]
[both breathe heavily]
-That's my boy! -[Ryan chuckles]
Are you kidding me? You did it!
-Thank you. -I think you have a future in topping.
Oh, wow. That's so sweet. [chuckles]
I'm not sweet. I'm honest.
[both exhale deeply]
[they sigh]
[Ryan sniffs]
Do you smell that?
[Tanner sniffs]
Is that…
Is that shit?
Maybe.
I'd have douched, but I didn't know it was on the menu.
Oh my God! Ew!
[Ryan] Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew!
Oh my God, oh my God! Ew, ew, ew!
[sighing]
-[Kim sighs] -[Ravi exhales deeply]
-[sighs] Honestly? -[Ravi exhales]
No notes.
Really? That's awesome, 'cause I got so many notes for myself.
[Kim chuckles]
I just wanted to make, like, maybe less eye contact?
Yeah.
Okay.
That was insane.
Topping? I know. It's like a hug for your penis.
No. You shitting on my dick.
Well, congratulations. You have an amazing, cooperative asshole.
But I've had a lot more sex than you, so just trust me, okay?
-This happens a lot. -Really?
Gosh, how often does it happen?
I clean there regardless, no matter what's on the sexual agenda, so--
Ryan, what are you trying to do here? Make me feel bad? I'm sorry, okay?
When you weren't able to top me before, I didn't make a huge deal about it.
Okay.
Do you want, like, a medal?
Oh, we're just-- Separate beds.
Night. Love you.
Love you.
[emotional instrumental music playing]
[Tanner sighs]
What do you wanna do today?
I did some Googling, and there's a woman named Ingrid
who talks to you about your past lives for $160 an hour.
[chuckles] Actually, I was feeling inspired to write this morning,
so I think I'm gonna do that. Is that cool?
I'll join you. I think I'm gonna low-key start applying for new jobs.
-When do you think you'll be done? -[Ryan] Hmm, not sure. Maybe, like, 1:00?
Okay. Have fun.
It's writing. It's never fun.
[Kim laughs]
There you go. Just a splash.
-What are you doing? -Putting almond milk in your coffee.
-I didn't ask you to do that. -I know.
But I know that you like it, so I took initiative.
[groans]
That was too couple-y a move, right? Freaked you out?
Okay, well, maybe that just means that it's time to let you know that, uh…
I might be down with that. You know?
You and I. Us.
Dating.
'Cause that would be…
Ooh. You're spooked.
Uh…
Can you please blink? Lubricate the eyes? Okay.
[Ravi] Great. Awesome. Uh, I'm gonna go.
And you get to process,
because I'm gonna give you space to do that.
Take it in. Take it in. Talk to your boys. Ask them, uh, what they think, okay?
[kisses]
And I will walk away now. Hey, Tanner, you wanna get in the hot tub?
-You wanna hook up with me? -[Ravi] Ah, we'll see what happens.
[loud ticking]
[ticking continues]
[groans] Job hunting is so depressing.
I just applied for an assistant position at The Cut.
Assistant!
Are you really thinking of leaving Eggwoke?
[sadly] Yeah.
I just feel like I'm in a hipster sweatshop,
and Olivia's just hovering above me, breathing down my neck,
demanding I write a listicle about my back fat.
I need a drink.
Why don't you have one with Ravi in the hot tub?
[imitating] Oh, fuck, yeah!
No.
Kimberly, what is going on with you?
You wear sweatpants around Ravi. I know you like him.
Look, Ravi is just one of my best friends
that I also happen to love having sex with.
That's how most people describe their husbands.
Kim, you deserve a nice thing.
And, Ravi, he's a nice thing.
Come here.
-[they groan] -[door opens]
What am I seeing?
-[Kim squeals] Get off me! -Oh my God.
Oh my God, I see the writing's going well.
It's going good. Yeah.
Cool. Well, it's 1:00 now.
It's 1:00 p.m.
[inhales] Right. Um, what do you feel like doing?
-[woman 1] I just can't. -[man] I think it's realistic.
-[laughter] -[woman 2] It makes you laugh.
[woman 1] That's true. That is true.
[laughing]
-[woman 2] You are hysterical. -No, it's not!
-Yes-- -[waiter] Here you are, ma'am.
[woman 1] Oh, please!
-[man] Realistic! -[woman] Not in mine.
-Come on. -[hesitates] Miss?
Miss? We're having a slight debate here. We were wondering if you would settle it?
Do you think the movie Book Club was realistic?
[man] Diane Keaton is getting elder abused by her daughters.
They think she's too feeble to live on her own, or something.
And, for God's sake, she is our age.
[man] Nobody is gonna abuse me.
-[quietly] Unless I ask for it. -[gasps]
[they laugh]
I-I love any movie where Diane Keaton plays a character named Diane.
And does things like…
[laughs dramatically]
[they chuckle]
[laughs dramatically]
[they laugh]
Are you by yourself?
-You should join us. -Please!
Oh, okay.
[laughter]
After texting my friend condolences for her cat dying,
I found out that "LOL" does not mean "lots of love."
[they gasp]
-No, it does not! -[laughing]
You are hysterical! So where are you from?
Los Angeles. Well, just outside. Agoura Hills.
I slept with someone from Agoura Hills.
It was 1994, right after the Northridge earthquake.
I had never experienced this thing called edging.
-[he laughs] -Hey, Charles!
Do… Do you like it there in Agoura Hills?
-Edging? -[woman] No, please. Do you like it there?
Well, you drive through there, you could be anywhere.
You could be in Michigan. You could be in Arizona. You could be in Florida.
But it's nice.
I just redecorated my house. It's where my life is.
Kids?
One. He's grown.
What about you? How do you know each other?
We all sing in a choir together called Voices of a Certain Age.
We perform all around town. Holiday fairs, events at Carmel Plaza--
In our living rooms when we're sad and desperate.
Oh, that sounds fun. I sing.
N-not professionally.
-I, uh, I sang in choir in college, so… -[woman 1] Oh!
Well, since Elaine left to start her jewelry line in Santa Fe,
we've been looking for an alto.
[gasps]
[holds note]
[all harmonize]
[they laugh]
Oh! [laughs]
You got the job!
[laughing]
Do you wanna come to my Airbnb tonight?
Oh, wait, that's silly. You probably have things to do.
No, honey, we'd be delighted.
-Oh! -We're sad. We're desperate.
-Hey, speak for yourself. -[laughing]
-Cheers. Yeah. -[glasses clink]
[Ravi] Okay, I agree, the prostate is the male pleasure center,
and, as a straight man, it's my duty to explore it.
[Ravi] Okay? Happy?
-[Tanner] Yes. -Very.
-Are you doing it again? -Doing what?
Making sure none of the food on your plate touches?
[Tanner] Oh my God.
Okay, I'm sorry. It's gross when someone's eating three separate things
and they just mush 'em all up together like that.
Okay, no one's judging you.
Did you know she's been doing this since she was two years old?
-Aww, is that when you two met? -[Ravi] Yup.
In a literal sandbox, wow.
You were like, "Hi."
How'd you two meet?
Oh, um…
Well, it was a traditional meet-cute, you know?
I mean, boy meets boy,
boy tells boy he has a boyfriend, they hook up anyway.
Okay, wait, just to clarify, this was not cheating.
Richard, my ex, and I, we had a little arrangement where,
while he traveled, I could hook up with whoever.
That's hot.
-Calm down -Okay.
Anyway, when we first met, his ex was traveling a lot,
so we got to spend every night together.
-Aww. -[Ryan] Yeah.
But when he came back, Tanner was like,
"By the way, I can't see you at all when Richard's in town,
so see ya in a month."
-[awkward laughter] -[Ryan] And, uh, that was fun.
[hesitates] Um, no, that-- Yeah.
-That's not exactly how I told you. -Yes, it is.
And I came to you all upset and told you I wanted to stop seeing you,
and you, like, wouldn't let me. [chuckles]
I really liked you. I wanted to find a way to make it work.
And we did stop seeing each other.
Well, yeah, but, like, only because I, like, begged you to.
-Yeah, and we stopped seeing each other. -Yeah.
-Anyway, um, the story has a happy ending. -Yeah.
-Right. -Yeah.
Well, yeah, 'cause obviously Tanner broke up with Richard to be with me, so…
And here they are, see? Romantic.
[tense] Yeah.
[pop music playing]
♪ Now that you're gone ♪
♪ All that's left is a band of gold ♪
♪ All that's left of the dreams I hold ♪
♪ Is a band of gold ♪
♪ And the memories ♪
♪ Of what love could be ♪
♪ If you were still… ♪
Excuse me!
-It is 8:30 at night… -[music stops]
…and you are being very loud.
8:30?
Is… Is that late?
I told Jerry if he had any more Airbnbers, I'd call the city on him.
We're not from Airbnb.
-Oh, really? -[Karen] Yes, really.
And I don't appreciate the insinuation that I am not a truthful person.
How would you feel if your next-door neighbor
was renting their house to complete strangers
who have no regard for anyone else's well-being?
I think I have endless regard for other people's well-being.
[scoffs]
This is the first vacation I have taken in 30 years
because I was raising a kid with cerebral palsy,
and then taking care of my mother who had dementia and died.
So excuse me while I experience some fucking joy for once in my life
and dance to music with my beautiful friends.
And my name is Jenna.
And I am Jerry's cousin from Minnesota.
And I will turn down the music.
Okay.
[steady applause]
[laughing]
-[whooping] -[Charles] Wow!
Was that all true?
My name is not Jenna.
Well, shit!
Karen, I had you pegged as a delicate flower.
You're a tough little lady, aren't you?
Just… just a little.
[laughing]
Aww, thank you for being so sweet,
for taking me under your wing, and making me part of your tribe.
Yes.
You have to stay another night. Charles roasts a chicken on Sunday nights.
-You have to come. -It's like a Nancy Meyers movie.
Bunch of old folks hanging out in an impossibly gorgeous kitchen.
Better than a Nancy Meyers movie because we're not all white.
[laughing]
Oh, I wish I could. I can't. I gotta go home.
-[woman 1] Aww. -I have things to do.
But I am here right now, and I wanna dance!
[cheering]
[music resumes]
♪ In the darkness of my lonely room… ♪
[clears throat]
Wow. Ryan and Tanner, huh?
-[Kim sighs] -Yikes.
It's a good thing that you and I have such a healthy relationship, right?
Okay, look, I'm sorry about my freak-out earlier.
I just don't know why, all of a sudden, you're dying to date me.
We had a good thing going.
Look, I've been around enough girls
to know how rare it is to actually connect with someone, and you and I, we have it.
You know we do.
Okay, but what if we break up?
Then it's just bye-bye to a lifelong friendship?
Ravi, my life is Chernobyl-levels of toxic right now.
-You're the only thing that doesn't suck. -Look, I feel the same way.
Also, it's been 25 years.
I've had so many opportunities to ghost you.
That's 25 consecutive years of wanting to be around you,
and I'm not going anywhere.
I promise.
Oh, that's good.
-Shit. -Hmm.
Our parents are gonna be so happy about this.
Sorry, um…
I need to do a wellness check on us again. Are we okay?
Yeah, we're fine. It's just, um…
Wow. Our origin story.
-Didn't realize how depressing that was. -Come on. It wasn't that bad.
It wasn't really that great either, Tanner. I mean…
If I had known that I couldn't see you at all when Richard was in town, I--
-Okay, yeah. -It would've--
Yeah, I'm sorry. I should've told you sooner.
But it was brand-spanking new to me.
I was essentially managing two relationships.
But what about the fact that I basically had to demand that you break up with me?
I mean, that was pretty selfish. Right?
Oh, I'm selfish? [chuckles]
[Tanner laughs]
[drawer slams]
That's hysterical.
What's that supposed to mean?
Tanner! What's that supposed to mean?
-Nothing. Let's just get ready for bed. -No! Tell me.
Ryan, breaking news, you're the selfish one.
I blew up my life for you, and now it's like you're over it.
[scoffs]
Okay, I never asked you to end things with Richard, okay? That was your choice.
And I'm not over it.
Come on. You've been acting distant. You were gone half the day.
Yeah, working on a piece about my disability
that I'm very passionate about.
I was a backup dancer for Ciara, Ryan.
I understand being passionate about something.
[chuckles]
I'm sorry, was that supposed to be a joke?
No, it wasn't. But thank you for laughing.
You know, statistically speaking, it's way harder to be a backup dancer
than a fucking blogger. Just saying.
My mom doesn't like you.
[sarcastically] Oh. I got a bad review from your mom. Fabulous.
What did she say?
-[sighs] Nothing. -No, tell me what she said.
Fine. She said you were a little simple.
Simple? Wow.
-Coming from a woman with those curtains. -What's wrong with her curtains?
They're underwhelming. I was underwhelmed.
You're such a mama's boy. You two are obsessed with each other.
Correction. We used to be obsessed with each other.
Now we're in a really healthy place.
Hmm.
[scoffs] Tanner, you don't get it, okay. At Crip Prom--
Oh my God! I knew you were still pissed about that.
Well, yeah. I tried not to be, okay?
But you basically said, "Don't worry,
I don't have to be part of this hugely important aspect of your life."
"Why don't you just do your thing and I'll do mine?"
You made it clear how much my presence was just fucking everything up.
I was offering a solution.
I don't want to be with someone I have to section out parts of my life for.
I want you to be a part of everything.
Fine, then I'll be a part of it. I love you, Ryan.
[sighs] Do you?
I can't believe you just asked me that.
Fuck, where's my phone?
I'm just saying, if you think about it, we don't really know each other that well.
Are you fucking kidding me, Ryan? Where is this coming from?
Tanner, you just…
You don't understand my disability.
Maybe that wouldn't have mattered a year ago, but now it does.
You don't let me understand it. I'm sorry, I don't have a PhD in disability rights.
-You gotta explain things to me. -I don't wanna fucking explain things.
I explain things every day. I don't want to have to do that with you.
Fine! Don't explain things.
Just let me fuck up again and again, so you can feel victimized.
-Fuck you. -Fuck you too.
I'm going to bed.
Good night.
I love you.
I think we need to break up.
[emotional instrumental music playing]
[lock rattles]
[sings quietly]
-[beeping] -[pop music playing]
♪ Now that you're gone ♪
♪ All that's left is a band of gold ♪
♪ All that's left of the dreams I hold ♪
♪ Is a band of gold ♪
♪ And the memories of what love could be ♪
♪ If you were still here with me ♪
[music fades]
Hi, honey.
[Ryan] Hi.
Okay, so, update.
Ravi and I are dating. Or we're trying to date.
I'll take no further questions at this time.
That's great.
You okay, boo?
Oh, hey.
-Do you wanna talk about it? -No.
[Ravi sighs] Oh, I've never been in the back seat.
Oh, it's comfy.
[satnav] Head east towards Hayden Avenue.
You know, it took us so long to get on the road this morning,
uh, it almost made me want to say, "Why is no one ready?"
What? Did I not get it?
[Ravi] Uh, 'cause I practiced.
♪ Haven't felt right in a week ♪
♪ And I'm thinning out ♪
♪ And it hurts bad ♪
♪ I gotta get back ♪
♪ Hot head and dreamless sleep ♪
♪ I could just slip down ♪
♪ And on the wrong track ♪
♪ I gotta get back ♪