[bright instrumental music playing]
[music fades]
[keyboard clicking]
-What? -Guess what we're doing today.
I don't know. Writing until my brain feels like gibbity-gobbity-goop?
I got us tickets to the Malibu wine safari!
Wait, is that when you go wine tasting with zebras?
And Stanley, the bisexual giraffe.
Animals identifying as bisexual is so important.
-Representation matters. -I agree.
But I can't. I gotta work on my disability article today.
Come on. All work and no rosé makes Ryan a dull boy.
[Ryan chuckles]
[sighs dramatically] Okay, fine. I'm in.
Woo!
Oh, you two are so cute.
Seriously, you're like a walking It Gets Better ad.
[both] Aww! Thank you!
And it just got worse.
Okay, you smell amazing, by the way. Is that Tom Ford?
Soleil Blanc? You fuckin' know it.
[Kim sniffs] Do I smell Tuscan Leather?
Your nose. What? Yes! Wait, you know what it smells like, right?
-Duh. Cocaine. -Yes!
Wait, hold up. You're distracting me with all this high-end fragrance talk,
but I need to be serious.
I know you and Ryan went through some Gays Gone Wild shit,
and I just need to confirm that that's over
and that your intentions with my son are entirely honorable.
Okay, Kim, we gotta go to lunch--
Silence! I'm being serious.
Ryan has a gorgeous, huge heart.
You gotta be good to it.
Kim, I swear on the entire fragrance counter at Barney's.
RIP. [kisses]
Okay, great.
Then I can officially say I'm obsessed with you. Welcome to the family!
-Thank God! -[Kim] Oh!
[Ryan] I am so excited for Crips Prom this weekend.
[sarcastically] Yay, prom. An event everyone wants to relive.
It's not about reliving. It's about reclaiming.
My prom was awful. I was one of three out gay men.
The other two were this insanely popular couple.
I basically spent it in the bleachers watching Brad and Antonio grind to 3LW.
-Ugh. -No!
-I even took my prom photo alone. -[Tanner gasps]
Oh my God, what are you doing?
Ryan, I promise to get drunk on spiked punch and take a photo with you,
and I will definitely put out at the end. You can put it anywhere.
Oh my God, okay. Get up, psycho. God.
-Whatever happened to Brad and Antonio? -Oh, they opened a B&B in Guernesville.
It's actually really chic. We should go.
-Can we go? -Yeah, totally.
[indie pop music playing]
My dad is so mad at me. And he's never mad at me.
Diwali's gonna be my debtor's prison.
What's Diwali?
It's Indian New Year.
We end up overeating 'cause we're forced to be around each other.
-Like white people at Christmas. -Do you want me to go with you?
I can always skip Crip Prom.
No! You only get one makeup, disability-focused prom.
I'll be okay.
But thank you. You're a nice boy!
[laughing]
Hey, divas. What are you working on?
I just need to get something out of my eye with this finger, and--
Hey, you guys, um, heard of scissors?
[Olivia] I think they're the future.
[forced] Wow, Olivia. Did you get engaged?
Oh, why do you ask? Is it this $100,000 ring?
Yes, it's true. I'm very much marrying my lover, Ray.
Commence celebrating my good news.
Okay, back to business. Ryan, where is your piece on the Crips?
Oh, it's not finished yet. I'm gonna go in a long-form direction.
Long-form. That sounds like a Pulitzer.
A Pulitzer for Olivia. I like it. Carry on.
You know, Olivia, we could do more long-form.
Up our cultural commentary. Have stuff that goes viral for the right reasons.
[snores] Pass. You can pitch that stuff someplace else.
Wait, you can't, because your contract is exclusive.
You literally just let Ryan do it.
That's called sexism.
[clicks tongue]
She's an actual demon.
It's a man's world.
Okay, fair warning. My mom is the mommiest mom to have ever mommed.
-Okay. -She will force you to eat.
She'll ask deep, probing questions about your personal life.
She'll be planning our wedding by the time you guys shake hands.
-The key is, don't encourage her. -Okay, I'm ready.
-[music playing] -[she gasps]
-Tanner! Hey! -Hey.
-Hi, Mom. -Hey, hey, hey!
-[she air kisses] -[Ryan] Oh!
Parisian. From Europe.
-Hey, come. -Thank you. Oh my God.
Please, after you.
[Mom] I don't know the scent, but it's wonderful.
Mom, um, are you okay?
Yeah. No, I'm fine. I'm fine.
The time got away from me. I don't even know what I'm gonna make for dinner.
Well, I love the caftan. Spiritually, I am wearing this as well.
God, it just feels good, right?
-[Mom] We're connected! -[Tanner laughs]
Okay, uh, no pressure, but I'm gonna give you a minute to live, laugh, bond
while I go look for my old prom tux, so BRB.
[Tanner chuckles]
[hesitates] I…
-I have pasta that you could make. -I can make-- You wanna--
-We could make. -I can help you.
Okay.
[Mom giggles]
-Mrs. Hayes, I want-- -Karen.
Karen.
I wanted to tell you that you killed it on the mom front.
Ryan is incredible.
Mmm.
Oh, God, I'm-- You know, I don't really know anything about you.
Tell me, what do you do?
I teach dance at the Sweat Circle a few times a week.
Oh, that's fun.
-Yeah. -What about when you're not doing that?
Oh, you know, go for hikes, ride my bike.
I tried getting Ryan to come on a ride. He apparently doesn't know how?
Well, we tried. We did. But with the CP…
Sorr-- Yes. What? Of course. Sorry. [laughs nervously]
You know, I didn't really know what cerebral palsy was before I met Ryan.
I thought it was a brain thing.
Yeah, it is.
Yes, I know, but I thought it made you, like, mentally slow.
And that's not Ryan. You know.
Honestly, I don't even think of Ryan as disabled. I think of him as normal.
-Well, he's kind of both. -[Ryan] Okay.
It fits a little tighter than I would have liked,
but, um, that's just 'cause of my muscles, right?
-[Mom] Wow! -[Ryan grunts]
I have muscles now.
[Mom] You look like a Power Ranger.
Make them nice and thin. Careful of your fingers near the end.
-Perfect. You're the perfect sous chef. -Okay.
-Ravi! -Kim!
-[Kim and Ravi in slow motion] Hello-o-o! -Oh my God.
[in slow motion] I really missed you.
[Ravi mimics explosion]
-Hello. -[laughs] Hi!
You two kids. So, Ravi, tell us a little bit more about work.
[Mom] How's it going?
Uh, well, it's immigration law, so, um, chill. It's very chill
and also the most stressful thing I've ever done in my life.
I literally pull clumps of hair out of my scalp every night.
It's still a good job, you're doing good in the world,
and you're getting handsomer every year.
Kim, he's turning out to be quite the eligible bachelor.
Mom, please accept the fact that Ravi and I will never date.
We've known each other since we were babies.
I've seen him poop his pants.
All right! Let's not bring up my 30th birthday party, okay?
Oh, fuck, bro, you too?
I shit myself on my 30th birthday. Dirty thirty, come on.
I didn't really shit myself on my 30th birthday, bro.
Well, we're all very impressed with you, Ravi.
Living in the Bay Area is very expensive. You must be doing well.
I'm just lucky, 'cause my parents paid for law school so I didn't have any loans.
Uh, but, Kim, whoa. My goodness.
Nine Ways to Sublimate Your Rage About the State of the World By Shopping?
Genius. All over my Facebook feed. It was like-- [mimics explosion]
Blowing up.
You guys must be so proud.
So San Francisco still has those crazy hills?
You sold Grandma's house? That's amazing.
Do you think she'll, like, haunt it, like a mean, crabby ghost, or…
Yeah, I guess… [chuckles] …that's the way she would haunt it!
Listen, Ry, just to celebrate selling the house,
I rented an Airbnb in Carmel.
-[Tanner gasps] -Just for the weekend.
-Oh my God. Eat, pray, love it. -Oh my God, I'd die for Carmel.
When did you go?
-Last year. -[Ryan] Oh.
With Richard. Of course.
Um, Mom, Richard is Tanner's ex-boyfriend,
and, um, he's very chic, very handsome, but very old.
-[chuckles] Well-- -So how old were you when you met?
When I was 24, and fresh out the closet.
Yeah. What can I say? I have daddy issues.
Now I'm with a hot young thing who's taking me to prom, so…
That's me.
-Oh, hey, please, let me get these. -Oh, sure.
-You can. Do it all. -I will.
-Thank you. -You're welcome.
[eagerly] So what do you think?
If you're happy, I'm happy.
Okay, translation, you hate his guts?
Oh God, no. I'm not saying that.
He's a great guy. He's just a little more simple than I thought.
He's not simple.
He's just…
He's just not in his head all the time, like me, you know? He's fun.
Don't listen to me then. I-- Yeah.
I'm just being protective. He's adorable.
He is.
[Dev] I used to think that one of these days,
I would just wake up and look at her and be like,
"Can you please leave?"
But I haven't, and I think it's because it's love, you know?
-[Ravi laughs] -[Kim] Wow! Put it on a Hallmark card!
"Uh, I don't really want you to leave."
"I haven't given it much thought, but-- Love, Dev."
All right, fuck y'all.
Y'all are just jealous
'cause I'm the only one here who's in a committed relationship.
Hey, that's not fair.
Ravioli used to have that boring-ass girlfriend.
How dare you?
Yo, I've had many boring girlfriends.
[laughs]
Yo, can I just say, Mom and Dad are being so harsh on you right now.
Actually, no, it's just Dad,
which is so weird, because usually Mom's the one who's, like, barebacking your ass.
Yeah.
It's probably 'cause he's just, you know, really disappointed.
-Yeah, I know. Drop it. -[Ravi] What is going on?
It was a really weird vibe earlier.
[Kim exhales deeply]
I have a scarlet number.
I'm $46,000 in credit card debt.
What?
Kim, that's--
That's a lot.
[sarcastically] Oh, thank you. I wasn't aware.
I mean, at least you're, um, you're taking care of it.
You're being responsible.
[exhales]
Well, I'm exhausted, so now I'm going to responsibly take my broke ass to bed.
Night, losers.
-[Dev] Bye. -[Ravi sighs]
She's just gonna take the joint, I guess.
[knocking at door]
Anyone see you?
[Ravi] Thank God.
-[Ravi sighs] -[Kim giggles]
-Uh, I can't do that. -It's just a button.
-Maybe 'cause they're bigger. -It's a regular button.
Oh my Lord, your bras get sexier every year.
-Oh, thank you. -You're welcome.
Someone started trimming. Go off, manscaper.
I did, and I'm flexing. [grunts]
No offense to my mom's ladoo, but this is my favorite Diwali tradition.
-[upbeat music playing] -[cheering and whistling]
[Ryan] Thank you.
Okay, so, wait, which one's Henry?
Oh, he's over there.
[Tanner] Right, so he's, like, very hot.
-Stop. That was a one-time thing. -Well…
-I'm with you. -I know.
What's his disability though?
Um, he's neurodiverse, but I don't think he'd, like, identify as disabled.
Come on, let's meet everyone.
Ryan! Your tux! Do a twirl for me.
[gasps] Who, me? Okay.
-[cheering] -[Tanner] Oh, twirled it!
Oh, sorry. Oh my God.
This is Tanner, my boyfriend. Tanner, meet Kit, Natalie, and Henry.
Okay, tell me this is not vintage Halston right now.
-Stop! Can you believe? -[Tanner] Okay.
I feel like I could wheel my fine ass down the runway right now!
[Tanner] Runway, honey!
-Hey. -Hi.
-Um, can we, uh, talk for a second? -Yeah.
Okay, cool.
So I just wanted to make sure that it's not weird that I brought Tanner here.
I think you're amazing,
and I had such a great time on our first date, and I just--
-Tanner and I have his-- -Look, you are so cute.
But we only went out once. It's so chill.
-And actually I did bring a date. -Oh, you brought a date.
[chuckles]
Wow, I love that for you.
-Just to clarify, you're not upset at all? -No. Oh my God.
-Not at all. Let's grab a drink. -Okay.
[Tanner] And I just looked at her and I was like,
"Okay, but liking tacos isn't a personality."
[laughing]
Like, that's--
You look like the girl who spikes the punch. Are you?
-I'm Tanner, by the way. -Henry.
And you're right. I used schnapps for maximum prom authenticity.
[whooping]
Oh my God, Henry, is there any punch in here at all?
Ryan, it's not prom unless someone pukes. Come on, babe.
Looks like prom already started! [laughs]
Wait, does that mean you vomited?
Don't make it weird.
[lively instrumental music playing]
Oh, Kim. Too many roses. It looks like a bordello.
Really? This is what's setting it over the edge?
-Have you taken a look around? -[Mom hesitates]
Listen, dikri, um,
I wanted to talk to you--
For the last time, Mom, Weight Watchers is a tool of the patriarchy.
Oh, no, not that.
Uh, for now.
Listen,
I spoke to your dad, and…
we're going to pay off your debt.
-What? -You deserve a fresh start.
And even Ravi had some help from his parents, so…
Mom, that is so kind.
Well, where's Dad? Is he cool with it?
He will be.
Thank you so much, Mom. I promise I won't let you down.
[sighs]
Wow. This really is a Diwali miracle.
[chuckles softly] Come here.
-[sighs] You look beautiful. -Thank you.
And this is… this is what you're wearing, hmm?
[hesitates] It wouldn't have been my first choice, but okay.
Mom, come on. We were having a good moment.
[upbeat pop music playing]
[Tanner] Yes, babe!
Okay, you are an amazing dancer.
[chuckles] You should come to my class at the Sweat Circle.
Ooh, that sounds fun.
We already have a girl in a wheelchair. Her name's Jillian, she kills it.
Everyone is just so inspired by her.
-Do you know her? -Jillian?
[sarcastically] Of course! [laughs]
We met at the Inspirational People In Wheelchairs Who Like To Dance Convention.
I fucking love that convention.
[Natalie] I know, right.
Okay, is anyone drunk yet?
-[electro pop music playing] -[whooping]
-♪ Hey Annie, you used to be ♪ -[whistling]
♪ The only girl to take it seriously ♪
[whooping]
-♪ Come on, Annie, tell us your trick ♪ -[cheering]
♪ On how you keep on Getting boys to stick ♪
[whooping]
♪ Okay, I'll tell you why I never look back ♪
[cheering]
♪ It's my selection It's my pick of the pack ♪
-♪ Well, hot dog, I'm a chewing machine ♪ -[whistling and cheering]
♪ It makes me smile And it keeps my teeth clean ♪
-♪ Oh no, oh no ♪ -[whooping]
-♪ You've got it all wrong ♪ -[woman] Oh, no!
♪ You think you're chocolate When you're chewing gum ♪
-♪ Oh no, oh no ♪ -[cheering]
♪ A slip of the tongue ♪
♪ You think you're chocolate But you're chewing gum ♪
-♪ Oh no, oh no ♪ -[cheering fades]
-♪ You've got it all wrong… ♪
[women murmur disapprovingly]
[music continues playing]
[groans] Let's go.
♪ You think you're chocolate But you're chewing gum ♪
♪ Oh no ♪
[Dad] Thank you. I'll tell her.
I'll tell her that you said that, absolutely.
Thank you. Please have something to eat. Thank you.
Hey, Dad, I know things are awkward right now,
but thank you so much for the money.
I-I really appreciate it.
Okay. I need to get everything ready for the shripada.
Dad!
Please, just talk to me.
What do you want me to say, Karishma?
That it's okay we took out a second mortgage for this?
I didn't know--
We built a good life for you and Dev,
especially considering what we came here with,
and it's still not good enough for you?
You don't know all the things I have to do just to fit in.
You always fit in because you only hang out with Indian people.
That's not true.
Hey, Sarita, Sunil, happy Diwali. Welcome. Please come.
Look, Dad, I appreciate everything you and Mom did for us, but…
coming here didn't solve all the problems. It just created new ones.
America is a capitalist hell. You don't get it.
I have to present a certain way in order to be successful,
and that takes money.
I do get it.
When I came here, I stuck out just like you, and I still do.
But I've always known who I am.
And I thought you did too.
[upbeat music playing]
♪ Can I have a taste of your ice cream? ♪
Okay, who wants to go outside and smoke a joint?
Ooh, I don't smoke pot,
but I can be on the lookout for pretend teachers looking to bust us.
[laughing]
Okay, let's go before Amy tries to join us.
She's so annoying. She's not even disabled.
She just wears glasses.
Um, should we wait for Tanner?
I think we're fine.
Me too.
♪ Can I interfere in your crisis? ♪
♪ No, mind your own business ♪
♪ Can you hear those people behind me? ♪
♪ Looking at your feelings inside me ♪
♪ Listen to the distance between… ♪
-[music playing] -[footsteps approach]
Yo, Kim, Uncle V won't stop telling me about his enlarged prostate.
-[Dev] It is your turn to deal with him. -No. Go away.
Why don't you suck my four-inch cock?
Dev!
Again, I am your sister. You cannot say shit like that to me.
Yeah, that's fair.
Wow, I-- You know… [sighs]
Okay. That was-- Well--
I was gonna say we should have sex in the bathroom,
but I think Dev ruined the mood for, like, ever.
[Kim laughs]
He needs to be put down.
Yeah.
Are you okay?
I think I just want to be alone.
All right.
[kisses]
You're beautiful.
Seriously. You are delicious.
And you're shining. Like, super bright. I mean, my goodness. You're glowing.
Amazing. This article about my disability, it's just opened this cathartic anger
and, I don't know, it's the first time I really have truly loved my job.
You're like the Joan Didion of disabilities.
-Limping Towards Bethlehem, babe. -[chuckles] Thank you.
Oh my God.
Hey, babe. Where were you?
Sorry. Everyone went outside to smoke pot.
-I love pot. -Really?
No, not at all, but I wanna hang out with you.
Aw, I wanna hang out with you too. Let's, uh, go dance?
-Yeah, you want to? -Yeah.
[chanting]
[chanting continues]
[silence]
-Accha, let's eat. -That's what I'm talking about.
[Dad] Please.
[Mom laughs]
[Kim] Mom, Dad.
Uh, wait.
What is it? What's going on?
I can't take your money.
It's gross enough my debt is messing my life up.
I can't let it mess up yours too.
I'm scrappy. I'll figure it out.
Dikri, you can stay at home as long as you need to.
Sounds more like a threat than a promise, but thank you.
-I do appreciate it. -[Mom] Come, come.
[Mom chuckles softly]
You dropped something in the corner.
That's Dev's.
[pop music playing]
[camera clicks]
Okay, should we do a traditional prom pose,
or should we just, like, make out?
Natalie doesn't like me.
Oh, that's fine.
She gave me full murderer eyes.
Yeah, well…
-What? -What you said to her, it wasn't great.
When you said the woman in a wheelchair was an inspiration,
and then you asked if she knew her.
What's wrong with that?
Babe, that's like when a straight person
assumes you know every gay person who's ever lived.
I was just trying to be nice.
What should I do?
Just… try harder.
-Sorry. -It's okay.
Okay, big smiles!
[camera clicks]
[footsteps approach]
[Ravi] There she is.
-Hi. -Hey.
Heard you turned down your parents' bailout.
Oh, news gets around fast at Diwali.
Oh yeah. It's the hottest goss since Dev made out with Mrs. Natarajan.
They had a real connection. They still keep in touch.
That's so gross.
I had fun with you this weekend. I wish you could stay another day.
I know.
This might be sacrilege, but, um…
maybe what happens at Diwali doesn't need to stay at Diwali?
I'm going to Ojai next weekend.
Maybe you want to come with me?
I don't know.
Do you think we could even have sex away from my parents' house?
I'm willing to put in the hard work to find out.
-[music playing] -[loud chatter]
Okay, attention everyone.
[music and chatter continuing]
[screams] Listen up, bitches!
[chatter fades]
It's time to announce this year's prom queen.
[gasps] It's-- Drumroll, please.
[rhythmic tapping]
Kit! Since she organized and paid for the party.
-[cheering] -[Ryan] Oh!
[Ryan] Oh my God!
[whooping]
Against all the odds. I can't believe it.
Where the fuck is the ramp?
[crowd gasps]
Amy!
-Jesus, you had one job. -One job.
Well, everyone just join me for a dance on the floor.
[gentle indie pop music playing]
Can your dummy boyfriend please have this dance?
Yeah, sure.
I'm sorry I spun out back there. You were right. I fucked up.
-Tanner, you don't need to do this. -No, it's fine.
I don't belong here.
This is your gig, and…
I should honestly just stay away from it and let you do your thing.
No, but I don't want you to. I want you to be friends with my friends.
I tried that with Richard,
and sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.
You don't have to merge everything.
It's good to have some independence in a relationship.
Yeah. That makes sense.
-It does, right? -Yeah.
It'll be good. Trust.
I love you.
[music ends]
[whooping]
[upbeat music begins]
All right, I'm gonna get out of here, maybe grab a nightcap.
Alone?
Yeah.
I had the best time with you, babe.
Okay.
Tanner, stop.
This is dumb. Come on. Of course I'll go with you.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Great.
[ambient instrumental music playing]
[ambient instrumental music continues]