1 00:00:11,032 --> 00:00:12,950 ‎NETFLIX 原創影集 2 00:00:19,665 --> 00:00:22,043 ‎(驅逐通知) 3 00:00:22,126 --> 00:00:23,878 ‎-該死! ‎-法哈德? 4 00:00:23,961 --> 00:00:25,421 ‎嘿… 5 00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:30,217 ‎-你要驅逐我? ‎-不可能,小金,我絕對不會 6 00:00:31,093 --> 00:00:33,220 ‎是我爸,因為他才是房東 7 00:00:33,304 --> 00:00:35,347 ‎我不明白,我是這麼好的房客 8 00:00:35,431 --> 00:00:36,599 ‎沒錯,我也這樣跟他說 9 00:00:36,682 --> 00:00:39,435 ‎但他說:“她三個月沒付房租了” 10 00:00:40,436 --> 00:00:43,397 ‎這很不公平,我絕對是支持小金的 11 00:00:43,481 --> 00:00:46,609 ‎聽著,我會付房租的 ‎只是我最近過得不太好 12 00:00:47,943 --> 00:00:49,612 ‎請別這樣對我,拜託你 13 00:00:50,654 --> 00:00:51,489 ‎對不起 14 00:00:54,408 --> 00:00:56,452 ‎我竟然還和你親熱過一次 15 00:00:57,328 --> 00:00:58,245 ‎其實是兩次 16 00:01:00,247 --> 00:01:03,125 ‎我喜歡健身房,但為什麼有益的事情 17 00:01:03,209 --> 00:01:04,710 ‎一開始做起來都那麼痛苦? 18 00:01:04,794 --> 00:01:05,711 ‎我不知道 19 00:01:05,795 --> 00:01:08,422 ‎我下定決心要除掉我的“紅酒肚” 20 00:01:08,506 --> 00:01:10,174 ‎展開分手後的報復性健身 21 00:01:10,841 --> 00:01:12,551 ‎這主意很棒 22 00:01:12,635 --> 00:01:15,054 ‎妳今天一副《悲慘世界》的樣子 ‎怎麼了? 23 00:01:15,137 --> 00:01:18,891 ‎抱歉,我只是分心在想我要做的事 24 00:01:18,974 --> 00:01:19,809 ‎我要搬家了 25 00:01:21,060 --> 00:01:25,064 ‎很好啊,妳說妳家的黑黴害妳頭暈 ‎妳要搬去哪裡? 26 00:01:26,565 --> 00:01:27,983 ‎回我爸媽家 27 00:01:28,734 --> 00:01:31,445 ‎可以幫我省錢,控制我的債務 28 00:01:31,529 --> 00:01:32,947 ‎妳可以接受嗎? 29 00:01:33,447 --> 00:01:34,281 ‎可以啊 30 00:01:35,658 --> 00:01:37,785 ‎嘿,抱歉打擾了 31 00:01:37,868 --> 00:01:40,538 ‎我在健身房看到你 ‎我只想跟你打聲招呼 32 00:01:41,747 --> 00:01:46,210 ‎嗨,我是萊恩 ‎我最喜歡認識健身同好了 33 00:01:46,293 --> 00:01:47,336 ‎我是傑瑞米 34 00:01:47,419 --> 00:01:50,047 ‎我們一定要找個時間相處一下 35 00:01:50,131 --> 00:01:51,966 ‎好,當然 36 00:01:52,049 --> 00:01:54,510 ‎我想在我的播客訪問你 37 00:01:54,593 --> 00:01:57,721 ‎看到你克服障礙,盡力運動的樣子 38 00:01:57,805 --> 00:01:59,723 ‎真的很激勵人心 39 00:01:59,807 --> 00:02:00,766 ‎繼續加油 40 00:02:01,308 --> 00:02:02,726 ‎-謝謝你 ‎-再見 41 00:02:03,310 --> 00:02:04,145 ‎再見 42 00:02:05,104 --> 00:02:07,731 ‎要我去揍他嗎? ‎我今天有一些多餘的怒氣 43 00:02:09,483 --> 00:02:11,569 ‎劇名:萊恩加入瘸幫 44 00:02:13,654 --> 00:02:16,198 ‎你在這裡幹嘛,女神? ‎我以為我把你開除了 45 00:02:17,449 --> 00:02:18,784 ‎我不知道這件事 46 00:02:19,451 --> 00:02:20,953 ‎是另一個男同志 47 00:02:21,036 --> 00:02:22,830 ‎我不能再搞混你們了 48 00:02:23,664 --> 00:02:24,915 ‎那你被開除了 49 00:02:24,999 --> 00:02:26,375 ‎什麼?奧莉維亞,不行 50 00:02:26,458 --> 00:02:29,295 ‎聽著,我知道我最近的表現不太好 51 00:02:29,378 --> 00:02:30,880 ‎但我有一個想法 52 00:02:30,963 --> 00:02:32,840 ‎我要寫一篇關於殘障人士聚會的文章 53 00:02:32,923 --> 00:02:34,800 ‎他們自稱“瘸幫” 54 00:02:35,509 --> 00:02:37,887 ‎很有趣,但我不在乎 55 00:02:38,470 --> 00:02:41,098 ‎內容不只那樣而已 56 00:02:41,182 --> 00:02:43,475 ‎我很少和其他殘障同胞相處… 57 00:02:43,559 --> 00:02:45,352 ‎自從我那個老二很大的表哥之後? 58 00:02:45,436 --> 00:02:46,645 ‎順道一提,他訂婚了 59 00:02:46,729 --> 00:02:48,856 ‎和一個老二比他還大的男人 60 00:02:50,482 --> 00:02:51,442 ‎那太好了 61 00:02:52,568 --> 00:02:55,529 ‎我要寫的內容是,我沒有殘障朋友 62 00:02:55,613 --> 00:02:57,364 ‎是因為我內心的健全霸權主義 63 00:02:57,448 --> 00:02:59,909 ‎還是因為我沒找到對的夥伴? 64 00:03:01,493 --> 00:03:02,494 ‎聽起來很搞笑 65 00:03:03,245 --> 00:03:04,622 ‎你的工作安全了 66 00:03:05,122 --> 00:03:05,998 ‎目前而言 67 00:03:09,376 --> 00:03:11,170 ‎奧莉維亞,天啊 68 00:03:11,253 --> 00:03:14,089 ‎妳真美,那個顏色凸顯了妳的… 69 00:03:15,132 --> 00:03:15,966 ‎靈魂 70 00:03:16,759 --> 00:03:18,552 ‎我們可以單獨談談嗎? 71 00:03:18,636 --> 00:03:20,512 ‎我很受寵若驚,是真的 72 00:03:20,596 --> 00:03:22,473 ‎但我已經和我的愛人雷在一起了 73 00:03:22,556 --> 00:03:24,350 ‎我不是在把妳,變態 74 00:03:25,351 --> 00:03:27,269 ‎老實說,我需要加薪 75 00:03:27,353 --> 00:03:30,314 ‎我的貼文佔了蛋醒網流量的四成 76 00:03:30,397 --> 00:03:32,024 ‎我兩個月前才給妳加薪 77 00:03:32,858 --> 00:03:34,026 ‎我還想再加一次? 78 00:03:34,109 --> 00:03:35,277 ‎想得美 79 00:03:35,361 --> 00:03:38,489 ‎是有曲線又正向的美 80 00:03:38,572 --> 00:03:40,282 ‎聽著,我就直說了 81 00:03:41,867 --> 00:03:45,704 ‎我的財務出了問題,只是暫時的 82 00:03:45,788 --> 00:03:47,331 ‎我需要一點錢幫我度過難關 83 00:03:48,165 --> 00:03:48,999 ‎拜託妳 84 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,920 ‎聽著,我差點就被說服了 ‎但我們現在現金短缺 85 00:03:53,003 --> 00:03:55,339 ‎我還得幫薩曼莎加薪 ‎因為她看到一個… 86 00:03:59,093 --> 00:04:00,427 ‎嗨 87 00:04:03,681 --> 00:04:05,516 ‎我得幫她加薪 88 00:04:05,599 --> 00:04:09,019 ‎總之,妳必須當個“大”女孩 ‎自己想辦法 89 00:04:09,645 --> 00:04:12,189 ‎抱歉,是美麗又豐滿的女孩 90 00:04:17,528 --> 00:04:19,071 ‎這樣就置中了 91 00:04:19,154 --> 00:04:21,573 ‎謝天謝地,妳真是個完美主義者 92 00:04:21,657 --> 00:04:25,077 ‎看到妳重新擺設、拿掉我所有的照片 93 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:27,079 ‎通常會觸發我的情緒 94 00:04:27,162 --> 00:04:29,915 ‎但那張黛咪摩爾的懷孕照真是太美了 95 00:04:29,999 --> 00:04:33,210 ‎我沒有要拿掉你全部的照片 ‎只是之前那樣太像祭壇了 96 00:04:33,294 --> 00:04:34,795 ‎小萊,給我下一張 97 00:04:34,878 --> 00:04:36,297 ‎是漂亮的祭壇 98 00:04:36,380 --> 00:04:37,798 ‎不對,這張要放櫥櫃 99 00:04:40,676 --> 00:04:43,095 ‎媽,我有個問題要問妳 100 00:04:43,178 --> 00:04:44,054 ‎什麼? 101 00:04:44,138 --> 00:04:47,016 ‎我從小到大有交過殘障朋友嗎? 102 00:04:48,517 --> 00:04:50,978 ‎你在物理治療有認識的人 103 00:04:51,478 --> 00:04:52,938 ‎對,但我們不算朋友 104 00:04:53,022 --> 00:04:55,816 ‎我們就像一支體育團隊 ‎競爭對手就是人生 105 00:04:55,899 --> 00:04:59,111 ‎你和其他殘障兒童一起玩時 106 00:04:59,194 --> 00:05:00,946 ‎你的表現太好了 107 00:05:01,030 --> 00:05:02,990 ‎這讓你很自責 108 00:05:03,490 --> 00:05:04,783 ‎怎麼?我做錯什麼了嗎? 109 00:05:04,867 --> 00:05:06,702 ‎沒有,妳沒做錯什麼 110 00:05:06,785 --> 00:05:09,246 ‎只是我要參加一個殘障人士聚會 111 00:05:09,330 --> 00:05:13,125 ‎這是我的第一次 ‎我沒和這麼多殘障人士相處過 112 00:05:13,208 --> 00:05:16,962 ‎太好了,我很開心 ‎亨利會和你一起去嗎? 113 00:05:17,963 --> 00:05:18,797 ‎真好 114 00:05:18,881 --> 00:05:21,592 ‎我有段時間沒聽你提到坦納了 115 00:05:21,675 --> 00:05:23,510 ‎這應該算好事吧? 116 00:05:23,594 --> 00:05:25,012 ‎對,應該吧 117 00:05:25,971 --> 00:05:28,891 ‎我有段時間沒聽妳提到奶奶了 118 00:05:28,974 --> 00:05:29,808 ‎這是好事嗎? 119 00:05:30,809 --> 00:05:32,227 ‎我不知道那算什麼 120 00:05:37,524 --> 00:05:40,152 ‎我和菲爾上床了 121 00:05:43,572 --> 00:05:46,742 ‎這樣很奇怪嗎?我知道… 122 00:05:46,825 --> 00:05:48,452 ‎天啊,我還不太知道界線在哪 123 00:05:48,535 --> 00:05:52,748 ‎不,我完全支持妳和菲爾上床 124 00:05:52,831 --> 00:05:54,291 ‎只要妳想要就好 125 00:05:54,375 --> 00:05:56,085 ‎我確實想要 126 00:05:56,168 --> 00:05:58,087 ‎好,界線又出現了 127 00:05:59,463 --> 00:06:00,297 ‎冷靜 128 00:06:01,090 --> 00:06:03,217 ‎我只是…不,只有那時而已 129 00:06:03,300 --> 00:06:05,594 ‎但現在我需要獨處 130 00:06:08,389 --> 00:06:09,681 ‎天啊,媽 131 00:06:10,557 --> 00:06:15,396 ‎在我出來搞破壞之前 ‎妳的人生還真是多采多姿 132 00:06:15,479 --> 00:06:17,064 ‎-真的被你破壞了 ‎-沒錯 133 00:06:17,147 --> 00:06:19,733 ‎-對不起 ‎-我一直很想念這個女孩 134 00:06:21,318 --> 00:06:22,361 ‎她的樣子 135 00:06:23,821 --> 00:06:25,072 ‎她想要什麼 136 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:30,828 ‎妳最近聽了很多 ‎布芮尼布朗的節目吧? 137 00:06:30,911 --> 00:06:32,204 ‎在車上聽的 138 00:06:32,287 --> 00:06:34,289 ‎她真是很棒的女人 139 00:06:35,332 --> 00:06:39,545 ‎喜歡地下絲絨樂團 ‎就是我14到17歲的個性 140 00:06:41,338 --> 00:06:42,840 ‎等等,你在幹嘛? 141 00:06:42,923 --> 00:06:45,884 ‎我不想踩到縫隙,那會倒楣,寶貝 142 00:06:45,968 --> 00:06:47,386 ‎好 143 00:06:47,469 --> 00:06:51,723 ‎所以我們今天要見的人 ‎都很有趣又很酷吧? 144 00:06:51,807 --> 00:06:55,060 ‎他們是殘障人士 ‎可是很有趣,而且很酷 145 00:06:55,144 --> 00:06:57,813 ‎我不是說不能兩者兼具之類的… 146 00:06:57,896 --> 00:07:00,357 ‎寶貝,他們很有趣,也很酷 147 00:07:00,441 --> 00:07:04,445 ‎其實還有個入會儀式 ‎我們會拿拐杖和助行器打你 148 00:07:04,528 --> 00:07:06,989 ‎但別擔心,你會很喜歡的 149 00:07:10,868 --> 00:07:13,162 ‎你很困惑嗎?我在自我刺激,親愛的 150 00:07:13,245 --> 00:07:18,208 ‎我們這種患有亞斯伯格症的人 ‎有時會出現自我刺激行為 151 00:07:18,292 --> 00:07:20,169 ‎這個詞現在有點爭議 152 00:07:20,252 --> 00:07:22,087 ‎因為它很不幸是納粹創造的 153 00:07:22,171 --> 00:07:25,466 ‎所以現在只能說我們是自閉症 154 00:07:25,549 --> 00:07:27,384 ‎也就是所謂的神經多樣性 155 00:07:27,468 --> 00:07:29,553 ‎但我自己通常是分類為“性感” 156 00:07:33,265 --> 00:07:35,267 ‎真希望我也能分類為“性感” 157 00:07:42,316 --> 00:07:43,192 ‎有人在嗎? 158 00:07:43,817 --> 00:07:45,110 ‎我到了! 159 00:07:52,910 --> 00:07:53,869 ‎嗨,親愛的 160 00:07:53,952 --> 00:07:55,037 ‎妳好,寶貝 161 00:07:55,871 --> 00:07:59,666 ‎我知道你們很期待見到我 ‎但這也太誇張了 162 00:07:59,750 --> 00:08:02,252 ‎不,親愛的,這不是給妳的 163 00:08:02,753 --> 00:08:03,587 ‎妳要再等一下 164 00:08:03,670 --> 00:08:05,339 ‎什麼?不然是給誰的? 165 00:08:05,839 --> 00:08:07,841 ‎戴夫和艾妮莎剛訂婚了 166 00:08:08,759 --> 00:08:10,844 ‎就在剛才,他在早午餐時求婚 167 00:08:11,428 --> 00:08:14,389 ‎有了妳,我們家會成為“沙迪卡甲” 168 00:08:14,473 --> 00:08:16,308 ‎婚姻之屋?太好了 169 00:08:16,391 --> 00:08:17,226 ‎過來 170 00:08:18,143 --> 00:08:20,312 ‎嘿,妳瘦了嗎? 171 00:08:20,395 --> 00:08:22,022 ‎我的手臂終於可以環抱妳了 172 00:08:22,105 --> 00:08:24,358 ‎我的家人好嗎? 173 00:08:26,151 --> 00:08:27,611 ‎他們來了 174 00:08:28,695 --> 00:08:30,364 ‎姐姐 175 00:08:31,573 --> 00:08:32,449 ‎嗨 176 00:08:33,909 --> 00:08:35,827 ‎很有品味吧? 177 00:08:36,745 --> 00:08:40,499 ‎天啊,戴夫 ‎你靠商場的手機攤販工作存到錢了? 178 00:08:40,582 --> 00:08:41,750 ‎我們已經開店面了 179 00:08:41,833 --> 00:08:43,544 ‎沒錯,我在旗艦店工作 180 00:08:43,627 --> 00:08:44,795 ‎妳就廢話少說了吧 181 00:08:44,878 --> 00:08:46,338 ‎-休想 ‎-別吵了 182 00:08:46,421 --> 00:08:47,756 ‎現在是快樂的時刻 183 00:08:48,507 --> 00:08:49,633 ‎媽,我的東西要放哪? 184 00:08:49,716 --> 00:08:51,301 ‎妳以前的房間,不然呢? 185 00:08:51,385 --> 00:08:53,512 ‎我以前的房間已經變成祈禱室了 186 00:08:53,595 --> 00:08:56,223 ‎裡面有個充氣床墊,去吹起來就好 187 00:08:56,306 --> 00:08:57,140 ‎我的背不好 188 00:08:57,224 --> 00:08:58,809 ‎來吧,敬幸福的小倆口一杯 189 00:08:58,892 --> 00:09:00,477 ‎你一杯,我一杯 190 00:09:01,812 --> 00:09:03,730 ‎媽,妳好辣 191 00:09:03,814 --> 00:09:06,400 ‎乾杯! 192 00:09:07,317 --> 00:09:11,488 ‎警察攔下我 ‎因為我在速限35的地方開50 193 00:09:11,572 --> 00:09:14,700 ‎他請我下車,我說我要先拿輪椅 194 00:09:14,783 --> 00:09:18,579 ‎結果他慌了,還說我做得非常好 195 00:09:18,662 --> 00:09:20,789 ‎這態度是不是居高臨下?是的 196 00:09:20,872 --> 00:09:24,042 ‎我的殘疾是不是幫我省了幾百元? 197 00:09:24,126 --> 00:09:25,335 ‎是的 198 00:09:25,419 --> 00:09:27,337 ‎還有一點,他沒有殺了我 199 00:09:27,421 --> 00:09:29,131 ‎非常出人意表 200 00:09:29,923 --> 00:09:32,676 ‎太棒了,沒有殺人! 201 00:09:33,885 --> 00:09:35,220 ‎萊恩,你要不要分享一下? 202 00:09:37,848 --> 00:09:39,099 ‎好,好的 203 00:09:39,850 --> 00:09:42,519 ‎大家好,我是萊恩,我第一次來瘸幫 204 00:09:45,188 --> 00:09:46,189 ‎好 205 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:52,279 ‎我必須承認,我以為我已經碰過 ‎腦癱帶來的所有問題 206 00:09:52,362 --> 00:09:54,698 ‎但它還是一直糾纏著我 207 00:09:55,699 --> 00:09:57,868 ‎優步司機問我怎麼了 208 00:09:57,951 --> 00:10:01,580 ‎健身房的陌生人跑來向我道賀 ‎就因為我在運動 209 00:10:02,623 --> 00:10:03,665 ‎激勵影片 210 00:10:03,749 --> 00:10:05,000 ‎就是那意思? 211 00:10:05,834 --> 00:10:07,336 ‎對,這很合理 212 00:10:08,253 --> 00:10:09,296 ‎然後… 213 00:10:11,298 --> 00:10:14,301 ‎管他的,幾週前,我跟一個男人約會 214 00:10:14,384 --> 00:10:16,345 ‎他很可愛,是個演員 215 00:10:16,428 --> 00:10:18,180 ‎演賀曼電影的那種,你們懂的 216 00:10:18,263 --> 00:10:19,222 ‎但還是很可愛 217 00:10:19,890 --> 00:10:23,101 ‎我一直想著:“他要我怎樣?” 218 00:10:23,185 --> 00:10:26,772 ‎我知道我不是同性戀怪獸格倫戴爾 ‎但就是那樣 219 00:10:27,397 --> 00:10:29,733 ‎總之,我們上床了 220 00:10:29,816 --> 00:10:33,195 ‎他的焦點完全都在我的殘疾 221 00:10:33,278 --> 00:10:35,572 ‎看得出來那很讓他興奮 222 00:10:36,198 --> 00:10:38,325 ‎這讓我感覺… 223 00:10:38,950 --> 00:10:39,785 ‎不太好 224 00:10:41,161 --> 00:10:43,246 ‎當然,一部分的我想著 225 00:10:44,289 --> 00:10:46,583 ‎“所以他才會喜歡我,這就說得通了” 226 00:10:47,250 --> 00:10:48,085 ‎所以… 227 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:49,795 ‎就是這樣 228 00:10:52,047 --> 00:10:52,881 ‎等一下 229 00:10:53,632 --> 00:10:54,883 ‎賀曼電影? 230 00:10:55,676 --> 00:10:57,094 ‎如果要變成怪癖狂的目標 231 00:10:57,177 --> 00:11:00,055 ‎至少要是B級電影以上的等級吧 232 00:11:02,724 --> 00:11:07,104 ‎好的,接下來是關於瘸幫舞會的公告 233 00:11:07,187 --> 00:11:08,772 ‎經過深思熟慮之後 234 00:11:08,855 --> 00:11:14,569 ‎我們決定“阿拉伯之夜”是絕對不行的 235 00:11:14,653 --> 00:11:19,032 ‎所以我們決定主題改成“海底” 236 00:11:20,283 --> 00:11:21,785 ‎-不會吧 ‎-為什麼? 237 00:11:21,868 --> 00:11:23,745 ‎為什麼?海洋裡塞滿了塑膠 238 00:11:23,829 --> 00:11:25,706 ‎必須趁還有機會,好好榮耀它 239 00:11:26,248 --> 00:11:27,499 ‎就為了格蕾塔 240 00:11:27,582 --> 00:11:28,500 ‎格蕾塔葛薇? 241 00:11:28,583 --> 00:11:29,418 ‎是格蕾塔童貝里 242 00:11:29,501 --> 00:11:30,877 ‎這樣念沒錯吧? 243 00:11:32,087 --> 00:11:34,005 ‎-我以為是… ‎-其實我不知道 244 00:11:34,089 --> 00:11:35,507 ‎-“董” ‎-“圖” 245 00:12:04,369 --> 00:12:06,079 ‎姬特太好笑了 246 00:12:06,163 --> 00:12:07,873 ‎沒錯,她最棒了 247 00:12:07,956 --> 00:12:11,334 ‎她會表演脫口秀 ‎其實她都說是“坐下”喜劇 248 00:12:11,418 --> 00:12:12,461 ‎下次一起去吧 249 00:12:12,544 --> 00:12:13,837 ‎好,我也想去 250 00:12:14,963 --> 00:12:16,673 ‎真高興你玩得很開心 251 00:12:16,757 --> 00:12:18,467 ‎當然,那超棒的 252 00:12:18,550 --> 00:12:19,718 ‎謝謝你帶我去 253 00:12:19,801 --> 00:12:20,927 ‎不客氣 254 00:12:28,018 --> 00:12:28,852 ‎等等 255 00:12:30,645 --> 00:12:31,897 ‎-對不起 ‎-對不起 256 00:12:32,397 --> 00:12:33,315 ‎我誤會了嗎? 257 00:12:33,398 --> 00:12:35,567 ‎沒有,我只是很驚訝而已 258 00:12:36,359 --> 00:12:37,277 ‎但我很喜歡 259 00:12:37,778 --> 00:12:38,862 ‎剛才很棒 260 00:12:39,821 --> 00:12:42,240 ‎做好心理準備,因為… 261 00:12:43,116 --> 00:12:44,326 ‎我正想約你出去 262 00:12:45,494 --> 00:12:46,495 ‎你願意和我約會嗎? 263 00:12:48,955 --> 00:12:50,165 ‎好,當然 264 00:12:50,248 --> 00:12:51,124 ‎好 265 00:12:53,251 --> 00:12:54,586 ‎我不知道這有沒有關係 266 00:12:54,669 --> 00:12:57,881 ‎但你踩在縫隙上,所以… 267 00:12:58,507 --> 00:12:59,549 ‎這很值得 268 00:13:05,305 --> 00:13:09,643 ‎(我加入瘸幫的時候) 269 00:13:19,736 --> 00:13:20,570 ‎嗨 270 00:13:23,365 --> 00:13:26,576 ‎後來我發現史蓋芙蕾拉的針灸師 ‎和我的是同一人 271 00:13:26,660 --> 00:13:29,621 ‎史蓋答應我說她今天會來 272 00:13:29,704 --> 00:13:31,456 ‎唱《多麼尷尬》 273 00:13:31,540 --> 00:13:34,125 ‎但她一小時前傳簡訊說她感冒了 274 00:13:34,209 --> 00:13:36,753 ‎搞什麼?她怎麼有這膽子?真討厭… 275 00:13:36,837 --> 00:13:38,338 ‎你說的都不是真的… 276 00:13:38,421 --> 00:13:41,800 ‎對,都不是真的 ‎但我想搞得盛大一點 277 00:13:41,883 --> 00:13:44,302 ‎因為你說的對,《多麼尷尬》超棒的 278 00:13:44,386 --> 00:13:46,054 ‎我也想做一件超棒的事 279 00:13:46,137 --> 00:13:47,472 ‎來證明我很想你 280 00:13:47,556 --> 00:13:49,099 ‎不是那種“感覺有點糟 281 00:13:49,182 --> 00:13:52,435 ‎但只要吃點冰淇淋 ‎聽點潛夢樂團的歌就沒事了”的糟 282 00:13:54,229 --> 00:13:55,230 ‎萊恩 283 00:13:57,232 --> 00:13:58,316 ‎我們第一次見面時 284 00:13:59,401 --> 00:14:01,486 ‎我沒有任何期待,因為… 285 00:14:02,237 --> 00:14:03,989 ‎你知道原因 286 00:14:04,823 --> 00:14:06,825 ‎但你非常… 287 00:14:07,617 --> 00:14:09,286 ‎做你自己,而且… 288 00:14:10,078 --> 00:14:12,747 ‎你看待一切的眼光都充滿新鮮感 289 00:14:13,248 --> 00:14:16,793 ‎我從來沒有這種感受 290 00:14:17,294 --> 00:14:18,420 ‎我只覺得… 291 00:14:18,503 --> 00:14:19,462 ‎坦納,我… 292 00:14:19,963 --> 00:14:20,964 ‎我不能再來一次了 293 00:14:21,047 --> 00:14:22,257 ‎我跟理查分手了 294 00:14:24,509 --> 00:14:27,721 ‎我想跟你在一起,認真在一起 295 00:14:29,222 --> 00:14:32,350 ‎對不起,我應該拿出超浪漫的排場的 296 00:14:32,434 --> 00:14:35,937 ‎但你卻只看到一個發現自己… 297 00:14:38,732 --> 00:14:39,608 ‎很愛你的人 298 00:14:47,741 --> 00:14:48,909 ‎他說“我愛你”? 299 00:14:50,076 --> 00:14:53,246 ‎我說我要考慮一下,我是不是很壞? 300 00:14:53,330 --> 00:14:56,082 ‎不,你的行為很理性 301 00:14:56,166 --> 00:14:57,626 ‎不像坦納,他… 302 00:15:00,128 --> 00:15:01,171 ‎不知道,小萊 303 00:15:01,671 --> 00:15:03,256 ‎感覺太快了 304 00:15:04,299 --> 00:15:05,383 ‎你愛他嗎? 305 00:15:06,176 --> 00:15:08,428 ‎應該吧,我是說… 306 00:15:08,511 --> 00:15:10,096 ‎要怎麼知道自己是否愛一個人? 307 00:15:11,264 --> 00:15:14,267 ‎我很喜歡那件洋裝,不准丟掉 308 00:15:14,351 --> 00:15:17,520 ‎小萊,你的目標是 ‎讓我在家族聚餐時保持理性 309 00:15:17,604 --> 00:15:19,230 ‎不是扮《決戰時裝伸展台》評審 310 00:15:19,314 --> 00:15:23,860 ‎好,對不起啦 ‎只是賣衣服不會太極端了嗎? 311 00:15:23,944 --> 00:15:26,529 ‎妳不用付房租了 ‎債務應該會降低一點吧? 312 00:15:27,656 --> 00:15:28,907 ‎我想重新開始 313 00:15:30,158 --> 00:15:31,159 ‎好 314 00:15:32,202 --> 00:15:34,537 ‎聽著,我要跟坦納復合嗎? 315 00:15:34,621 --> 00:15:37,582 ‎還是該跟亨利試試? ‎我真的需要妳的幫忙 316 00:15:37,666 --> 00:15:38,667 ‎我不知道,小萊 317 00:15:39,250 --> 00:15:41,294 ‎我認為你應該聽聽自己的內心 318 00:15:41,795 --> 00:15:44,214 ‎還有一點點的老二,但主要還是內心 319 00:15:45,966 --> 00:15:47,175 ‎我們去歡樂時光吧 320 00:15:47,676 --> 00:15:49,970 ‎家庭聚餐之前,我要先喝二到七杯酒 321 00:15:58,311 --> 00:16:00,939 ‎我得說,艾妮莎,我不太認識妳 322 00:16:01,022 --> 00:16:05,026 ‎但妳看起來很像 ‎永遠都在戒癮治療第三天的那種人 323 00:16:05,110 --> 00:16:08,405 ‎恭喜妳,歡迎妳加入我們家 324 00:16:08,488 --> 00:16:11,116 ‎我的天啊,謝謝妳 325 00:16:11,199 --> 00:16:15,662 ‎我只想讓你們知道 ‎我不會變成新娘怪物的 326 00:16:15,745 --> 00:16:18,999 ‎老實說,我看過很多人為婚禮而瘋狂 327 00:16:19,499 --> 00:16:21,292 ‎我只希望我們的婚禮簡單一點 328 00:16:21,376 --> 00:16:22,877 ‎這就是我愛她的原因 329 00:16:23,962 --> 00:16:28,133 ‎最多250人,要辦在度假勝地 ‎但一定要有直飛航班 330 00:16:28,216 --> 00:16:29,259 ‎太好了 331 00:16:29,342 --> 00:16:31,970 ‎寶貝,把餐巾放在腿上 332 00:16:32,554 --> 00:16:33,596 ‎來 333 00:16:36,891 --> 00:16:38,560 ‎-好了 ‎-謝謝妳,媽咪 334 00:16:39,310 --> 00:16:43,231 ‎我們太期待婚禮,都忘了禮貌了 335 00:16:43,314 --> 00:16:46,401 ‎我們家還有另一個很大的發展 336 00:16:46,484 --> 00:16:47,694 ‎沒錯 337 00:16:47,777 --> 00:16:50,196 ‎小金終於把我們介紹給萊恩了 338 00:16:51,448 --> 00:16:54,826 ‎我們讀了你在“蛋黃網”上的文章 ‎你很有才華 339 00:16:55,535 --> 00:16:56,953 ‎是蛋醒網,媽 340 00:16:57,871 --> 00:16:58,705 ‎我不… 341 00:16:59,372 --> 00:17:00,498 ‎那沒道理 342 00:17:00,582 --> 00:17:01,916 ‎你們人真好 343 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:05,045 ‎但我會的其實都是小金教我的 ‎所以… 344 00:17:05,628 --> 00:17:08,673 ‎很開心我們的克莉詩瑪終於回家了 345 00:17:08,757 --> 00:17:12,093 ‎萊恩,終於見到你,我們很高興 346 00:17:12,177 --> 00:17:13,053 ‎乾杯 347 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:14,929 ‎-乾杯 ‎-乾杯 348 00:17:15,013 --> 00:17:16,723 ‎-我也很開心 ‎-乾杯 349 00:17:18,308 --> 00:17:22,228 ‎寶貝,謝謝妳捐的衣服,妳真慷慨 350 00:17:23,271 --> 00:17:26,274 ‎-什麼? ‎-我說過我要去慈善商店 351 00:17:26,357 --> 00:17:28,985 ‎所以我拿了妳放在樓梯上的那個袋子 352 00:17:29,069 --> 00:17:30,904 ‎媽,那是我要賣的衣服 353 00:17:31,988 --> 00:17:33,156 ‎老天 354 00:17:33,740 --> 00:17:35,408 ‎裡面有很多設計師款 355 00:17:36,201 --> 00:17:37,577 ‎一定很值錢 356 00:17:37,660 --> 00:17:42,207 ‎對不起,親愛的,我真的不知道 357 00:17:45,543 --> 00:17:46,377 ‎要吃第二盤? 358 00:17:47,587 --> 00:17:49,047 ‎我吃飽了 359 00:17:56,096 --> 00:17:57,680 ‎你們是怎麼認識的? 360 00:17:58,973 --> 00:18:00,642 ‎-妳要我…好 ‎-你來說吧 361 00:18:00,725 --> 00:18:01,935 ‎好,我盡量不哭 362 00:18:02,769 --> 00:18:05,438 ‎我們…我在共享辦公室當DJ 363 00:18:05,522 --> 00:18:07,273 ‎賺科技公司的錢 364 00:18:07,357 --> 00:18:08,608 ‎然後我看見她 365 00:18:08,691 --> 00:18:13,404 ‎我說:“嘿,妳看起來 ‎幾乎跟我媽一樣漂亮” 366 00:18:13,488 --> 00:18:14,864 ‎然後她說 367 00:18:14,948 --> 00:18:16,866 ‎-"你是誰?” ‎-"你是誰?” 368 00:18:18,827 --> 00:18:19,828 ‎沒錯 369 00:18:20,578 --> 00:18:24,165 ‎為了DJ捨棄一切的女人,真有遠見 370 00:18:28,211 --> 00:18:29,295 ‎克莉詩瑪 371 00:18:29,796 --> 00:18:32,132 ‎怎麼了,媽? ‎妳的傷痛被觸發了?這樣呢? 372 00:18:34,050 --> 00:18:35,802 ‎天啊,超好吃 373 00:18:36,427 --> 00:18:38,179 ‎感覺我的釦子越來越緊了 374 00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:42,892 ‎真好吃,我連眼皮都變胖了 ‎幾乎要張不開了 375 00:18:42,976 --> 00:18:44,227 ‎我喜歡當胖子 376 00:18:44,310 --> 00:18:47,689 ‎為什麼這張餐桌上的人都這麼瘦? 377 00:18:47,772 --> 00:18:50,775 ‎-說不定是你們有問題 ‎-小金,可以帶我去廁所嗎? 378 00:18:50,859 --> 00:18:54,696 ‎好,趁我把這張該死的椅子坐壞之前 ‎趕快挪動我的肥屁股 379 00:18:54,779 --> 00:18:57,115 ‎該走了,我們馬上回來 380 00:18:57,699 --> 00:18:59,826 ‎我愛食物! 381 00:18:59,909 --> 00:19:01,786 ‎到底是怎麼回事? 382 00:19:01,870 --> 00:19:04,289 ‎剛才根本是《八月心風暴》 383 00:19:04,789 --> 00:19:07,125 ‎還有,妳哥是想跟妳媽上床嗎? 384 00:19:07,208 --> 00:19:08,126 ‎我們不談那件事 385 00:19:09,043 --> 00:19:10,211 ‎而且我沒事 386 00:19:10,295 --> 00:19:13,590 ‎好,我們最喜歡浴室的開誠布公時間 387 00:19:13,673 --> 00:19:15,258 ‎所以不要對我說謊 388 00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:18,595 ‎好啦 389 00:19:20,346 --> 00:19:22,724 ‎說真的,我不是為了省錢才搬家 390 00:19:22,807 --> 00:19:26,644 ‎我搬回家是因為我被驅逐了 ‎我沒別的地方可去 391 00:19:27,145 --> 00:19:29,731 ‎親愛的,妳為什麼沒跟我說? 392 00:19:29,814 --> 00:19:31,316 ‎我以為我能想到辦法 393 00:19:32,108 --> 00:19:34,152 ‎而且我以露絲貝德金斯堡之名保證… 394 00:19:34,235 --> 00:19:35,278 ‎我每天都懷念她 395 00:19:35,361 --> 00:19:39,324 ‎我媽把我價值6000元的衣服 ‎捐出去之後 396 00:19:39,407 --> 00:19:41,784 ‎我永遠離不開這裡了 397 00:19:42,911 --> 00:19:45,622 ‎那妳可以跟我一起住 398 00:19:46,706 --> 00:19:47,582 ‎小萊 399 00:19:48,875 --> 00:19:51,794 ‎我是十足的異性戀 ‎沒辦法在同志好友家的沙發上生活 400 00:19:52,378 --> 00:19:53,379 ‎但還是謝謝你 401 00:19:54,923 --> 00:19:56,341 ‎嘿,兩位 402 00:19:56,966 --> 00:19:58,968 ‎你們是不是在吸古柯鹼? 403 00:20:04,015 --> 00:20:06,226 ‎我想說,有時我真希望自己是蕾絲邊 404 00:20:06,309 --> 00:20:09,187 ‎好讓克莉絲汀史都華 ‎摧毀我六星期的人生 405 00:20:09,270 --> 00:20:12,523 ‎沒錯,《私人採購》 ‎是蕾絲邊和男同志的文化 406 00:20:12,607 --> 00:20:17,028 ‎蕾絲邊和男同志的文化,謝謝你 ‎我一直都這樣講 407 00:20:17,654 --> 00:20:21,866 ‎對了,我好喜歡你的上衣搭短裙 408 00:20:21,950 --> 00:20:26,454 ‎我嗎?小萊,你太客氣了,謝謝 409 00:20:27,413 --> 00:20:29,374 ‎對,我超愛穿裙子 410 00:20:29,874 --> 00:20:34,379 ‎我想一個原因是 ‎我從小就常常被人盯著看 411 00:20:34,462 --> 00:20:36,923 ‎所以一部分的我就想:“既然你要看 412 00:20:37,006 --> 00:20:38,841 ‎就讓你看點精采的” 413 00:20:39,884 --> 00:20:40,802 ‎我好嫉妒 414 00:20:40,885 --> 00:20:43,012 ‎天啊,不,你穿裙子也會很好看 415 00:20:44,097 --> 00:20:47,308 ‎謝謝你,但我的意思是 ‎我的狀況跟你相反 416 00:20:47,392 --> 00:20:51,896 ‎我總是想融入 ‎不讓人注意到我的殘疾 417 00:20:53,189 --> 00:20:54,023 ‎好 418 00:20:55,149 --> 00:20:57,193 ‎我不是想引用保險桿貼紙的話 419 00:20:57,694 --> 00:20:59,320 ‎你可以抗拒本性 420 00:20:59,404 --> 00:21:01,072 ‎但你是不可能贏的 421 00:21:01,781 --> 00:21:03,992 ‎所以你乾脆選擇擁抱它吧 422 00:21:04,075 --> 00:21:07,412 ‎對,我快做到了 ‎但那是個漫長的過程,你懂吧? 423 00:21:08,246 --> 00:21:09,289 ‎你做得很好 424 00:21:09,998 --> 00:21:10,832 ‎謝謝你 425 00:21:15,962 --> 00:21:17,588 ‎我跟很多人約過會… 426 00:21:17,672 --> 00:21:19,132 ‎好,你在炫耀 427 00:21:19,215 --> 00:21:21,592 ‎不,我發誓我完全不是在炫耀 428 00:21:21,676 --> 00:21:24,345 ‎大部分的人都不老實又不可靠 ‎可是… 429 00:21:25,263 --> 00:21:26,139 ‎跟你在一起… 430 00:21:27,223 --> 00:21:29,517 ‎非常開心 431 00:21:30,810 --> 00:21:32,770 ‎我也覺得很開心 432 00:21:33,604 --> 00:21:34,689 ‎這很… 433 00:21:35,732 --> 00:21:37,900 ‎煩人,而且麻煩 434 00:21:37,984 --> 00:21:42,113 ‎亨利,我還有一段尷尬的關係 435 00:21:43,823 --> 00:21:45,491 ‎好意外,這樣啊 436 00:21:45,575 --> 00:21:49,412 ‎我不是想搞曖昧或騙你,只是… 437 00:21:50,204 --> 00:21:52,457 ‎你可以給我一點時間 ‎讓我想清楚嗎? 438 00:21:52,540 --> 00:21:53,374 ‎好 439 00:21:54,375 --> 00:21:56,377 ‎不,沒關係 440 00:21:57,670 --> 00:21:59,255 ‎別擔心,我們沒事的 441 00:21:59,339 --> 00:22:00,798 ‎-好 ‎-別擔心 442 00:22:00,882 --> 00:22:02,133 ‎-很好 ‎-沒事 443 00:22:20,985 --> 00:22:22,779 ‎(亨利:嗨,抱歉我活像個變態) 444 00:22:22,862 --> 00:22:26,574 ‎(在喝酒之後20分鐘就傳簡訊給你 ‎但我今天玩得好開心) 445 00:22:27,075 --> 00:22:29,410 ‎(我知道你還有感情問題沒解決) 446 00:22:29,494 --> 00:22:32,163 ‎(你想清楚後再告訴我) 447 00:22:32,246 --> 00:22:36,834 ‎(我很想再和你出去玩) 448 00:22:40,296 --> 00:22:41,381 ‎太愚蠢了 449 00:22:48,304 --> 00:22:49,138 ‎嘿 450 00:22:50,348 --> 00:22:51,391 ‎要不要來我這? 451 00:22:54,936 --> 00:22:59,774 ‎嘿,我幫妳做了午餐 ‎雖然現在已經算晚餐時間了 452 00:23:00,441 --> 00:23:01,442 ‎謝了,爸 453 00:23:02,944 --> 00:23:06,114 ‎寶貝,妳昨晚為什麼敵意這麼重? 454 00:23:08,366 --> 00:23:09,367 ‎我只覺得 455 00:23:10,326 --> 00:23:12,578 ‎我陷入了“陰陽魔界” 456 00:23:12,662 --> 00:23:15,415 ‎你和媽只在乎戴夫和婚禮 457 00:23:15,915 --> 00:23:17,417 ‎他連大學都沒畢業 458 00:23:17,500 --> 00:23:20,461 ‎就因為他訂婚了,你們就把他當神 459 00:23:22,088 --> 00:23:28,636 ‎寶貝,那是因為 ‎妳從小就很堅強、獨立 460 00:23:29,262 --> 00:23:31,139 ‎妳知道自己的方向 461 00:23:31,222 --> 00:23:32,473 ‎但戴夫不知道 462 00:23:33,224 --> 00:23:38,020 ‎-他沒重心、有點懶惰,而且… ‎-別忘了他沒來由的自信 463 00:23:38,688 --> 00:23:42,942 ‎那傢伙是賣手機殼的 ‎他不該有那麼強的自尊心 464 00:23:43,025 --> 00:23:47,738 ‎我的意思是 ‎這是他第一次做出正向的決定 465 00:23:47,822 --> 00:23:50,199 ‎展露出一點點成熟的樣子 466 00:23:51,159 --> 00:23:52,785 ‎戴夫需要艾妮莎的出現 467 00:23:52,869 --> 00:23:54,620 ‎但妳不需要,妳靠自己就行了 468 00:24:00,251 --> 00:24:02,795 ‎我欠了46000元的信用卡債 469 00:24:13,097 --> 00:24:13,931 ‎嗨 470 00:24:15,516 --> 00:24:17,560 ‎“你好,坦納,謝謝你來 471 00:24:18,060 --> 00:24:20,229 ‎希望你一路上沒有塞車 472 00:24:21,314 --> 00:24:22,315 ‎你想進來嗎?” 473 00:24:31,407 --> 00:24:33,201 ‎請隨便坐 474 00:24:38,289 --> 00:24:39,123 ‎好 475 00:24:47,298 --> 00:24:48,466 ‎你知道嗎?管他的 476 00:24:49,050 --> 00:24:53,179 ‎我寫了一篇演講稿 ‎但我決定直接說出我的想法 477 00:24:53,679 --> 00:24:56,891 ‎我在想的是 478 00:24:56,974 --> 00:24:59,977 ‎認識你之後,我的感覺就變了 479 00:25:00,061 --> 00:25:03,272 ‎這很瘋狂,因為我們認識的時間不久 480 00:25:03,356 --> 00:25:07,485 ‎但我們在一起時 ‎我覺得跟你在一起很棒,你懂嗎? 481 00:25:11,030 --> 00:25:13,616 ‎你是想說…你可以老實說… 482 00:25:13,699 --> 00:25:15,826 ‎你不必… 483 00:25:15,910 --> 00:25:17,495 ‎我…你是想…什麼? 484 00:25:20,748 --> 00:25:23,417 ‎大家總覺得我活在泡泡裡 ‎需要受到呵護 485 00:25:24,252 --> 00:25:27,797 ‎遇見你時,我的泡泡破了 486 00:25:28,589 --> 00:25:31,759 ‎當時可怕極了,但後來我不再害怕 487 00:25:33,219 --> 00:25:37,598 ‎坦納,跟你在一起時 ‎我感受到生命力,而且充滿刺激 488 00:25:37,682 --> 00:25:41,602 ‎我覺得一切總算有了可能性 489 00:25:43,145 --> 00:25:44,063 ‎我愛你 490 00:25:45,398 --> 00:25:46,357 ‎我也愛你 491 00:27:02,892 --> 00:27:04,894 ‎字幕翻譯:李盈盈