1 00:00:11,032 --> 00:00:14,952 [bright instrumental music playing] 2 00:00:21,625 --> 00:00:22,918 -[lock clicks] -Fuck! 3 00:00:23,002 --> 00:00:24,879 -Farhad? -Oh, hey! 4 00:00:24,962 --> 00:00:26,005 Hey. 5 00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:30,217 -You're evicting me? -No way, Kim. I would never. 6 00:00:31,093 --> 00:00:33,220 My dad is, since he's the landlord. 7 00:00:33,304 --> 00:00:35,347 I don't understand. I've been a great tenant. 8 00:00:35,431 --> 00:00:36,599 That's what I told him. 9 00:00:36,682 --> 00:00:39,435 But he was like, "She hasn't paid her rent in three months." 10 00:00:40,436 --> 00:00:43,397 It's so unfair, and I'm totally Team Kim. 11 00:00:43,481 --> 00:00:46,734 Look, I-I… I'm gonna pay. I'm just going through a hard time. 12 00:00:47,943 --> 00:00:49,612 Don't do this to me. Please. 13 00:00:50,654 --> 00:00:51,489 I'm sorry. 14 00:00:54,408 --> 00:00:56,827 I can't believe I made out with you once. 15 00:00:57,328 --> 00:00:58,245 It was twice. 16 00:01:00,247 --> 00:01:03,125 I love the gym, but why does everything that's good for you 17 00:01:03,209 --> 00:01:04,710 feel so bad in the beginning? 18 00:01:04,794 --> 00:01:05,711 I don't know. 19 00:01:05,795 --> 00:01:08,422 I'm determined to get rid of my wine cellar 20 00:01:08,506 --> 00:01:10,841 and have my post-breakup revenge body. 21 00:01:10,925 --> 00:01:12,551 Yeah, sounds like a great idea. 22 00:01:12,635 --> 00:01:15,054 You seem so Les Misérables today. What's going on? 23 00:01:15,137 --> 00:01:18,891 I'm sorry. I am just distracted by all the shit I have to do. 24 00:01:18,974 --> 00:01:19,934 I'm moving. 25 00:01:20,017 --> 00:01:20,935 Oh. 26 00:01:21,018 --> 00:01:25,064 That's good. That black mold was making you feel lightheaded. Where are you going? 27 00:01:26,565 --> 00:01:27,983 Back to my parents'. 28 00:01:28,734 --> 00:01:31,445 It'll help me save money and get my debt under control. 29 00:01:31,529 --> 00:01:32,947 Are you okay with that? 30 00:01:33,447 --> 00:01:34,281 Yeah. 31 00:01:34,365 --> 00:01:35,282 [man] Oh, uh… 32 00:01:35,783 --> 00:01:37,785 Hey. Sorry to bother you. 33 00:01:37,868 --> 00:01:40,538 I see you at the gym, and just wanted to say hey. 34 00:01:40,621 --> 00:01:42,414 Oh, hi. 35 00:01:42,498 --> 00:01:46,210 I'm Ryan, and, um, it's always nice to meet a fellow fitness enthusiast. 36 00:01:46,293 --> 00:01:47,336 [man] I'm Jeremy. 37 00:01:47,419 --> 00:01:50,047 We should definitely hang out sometime. 38 00:01:50,131 --> 00:01:51,966 Okay. Sure. [chuckles] 39 00:01:52,049 --> 00:01:54,510 I'd love to interview you for my podcast. 40 00:01:54,593 --> 00:01:57,721 It's super inspiring to see you give it your all, 41 00:01:57,805 --> 00:01:59,723 despite your limitations. 42 00:01:59,807 --> 00:02:00,766 Keep it up. 43 00:02:01,308 --> 00:02:02,726 [flat] Thank you. 44 00:02:02,810 --> 00:02:04,061 -[Jeremy] Bye. -[Kim] Bye. 45 00:02:05,104 --> 00:02:07,731 You want me to beat him up? I have some excess rage today. 46 00:02:07,815 --> 00:02:11,569 [jaunty instrumental music playing] 47 00:02:13,654 --> 00:02:16,198 What are you doing here, diva? I thought I fired you. 48 00:02:16,949 --> 00:02:18,784 Um, not that I know of. 49 00:02:18,868 --> 00:02:20,828 Oh, that was the other gay guy. 50 00:02:20,911 --> 00:02:23,581 I need to stop getting you two confused. 51 00:02:23,664 --> 00:02:24,915 Well, you're fired. 52 00:02:24,999 --> 00:02:26,500 What? Olivia, no. 53 00:02:26,584 --> 00:02:29,295 Look, I know my work has been less than stellar lately, 54 00:02:29,378 --> 00:02:32,840 but I have an idea. I'm gonna write about this disabled meet-up group. 55 00:02:32,923 --> 00:02:34,800 They call themselves The Crips. 56 00:02:35,509 --> 00:02:37,887 Funny. But I don't care. 57 00:02:38,470 --> 00:02:41,015 Well, I mean, it's gonna be about more than that. 58 00:02:41,098 --> 00:02:43,475 I haven't spent much time with my disabled brethren-- 59 00:02:43,559 --> 00:02:45,352 Since my cousin with the big dick? 60 00:02:45,436 --> 00:02:46,645 He's engaged, by the way. 61 00:02:46,729 --> 00:02:48,856 To a guy with an even bigger dick. 62 00:02:48,939 --> 00:02:51,442 -[Olivia chuckles] -Yeah. That's nice. 63 00:02:51,901 --> 00:02:54,195 Um, so really it's kind of like, 64 00:02:54,278 --> 00:02:57,364 do I have no disabled friends because of my internalized ableism, 65 00:02:57,448 --> 00:03:00,451 or is it just because I haven't found the right group of people? 66 00:03:00,534 --> 00:03:02,494 Hmm. Sounds hysterical. 67 00:03:03,746 --> 00:03:05,039 Your job is safe. 68 00:03:05,122 --> 00:03:05,998 For now. 69 00:03:09,376 --> 00:03:10,544 [Kim, brightly] Olivia! 70 00:03:10,628 --> 00:03:14,089 Wow, you look amazing. That color really brings out your… 71 00:03:15,132 --> 00:03:15,966 soul. 72 00:03:16,050 --> 00:03:18,552 Um, can we have a moment alone? 73 00:03:18,636 --> 00:03:20,512 [scoffs] I'm flattered, really, 74 00:03:20,596 --> 00:03:22,473 but I'm with my lover, Rae. 75 00:03:22,556 --> 00:03:24,350 I'm not hitting on you, sicko. 76 00:03:24,433 --> 00:03:27,269 Um, actually, I need a raise. 77 00:03:27,353 --> 00:03:30,314 I mean, my posts are responsible for 40% of Eggwoke's traffic. 78 00:03:30,397 --> 00:03:32,024 I gave you a raise two months ago. 79 00:03:32,858 --> 00:03:35,277 -I want another? -[scoffs] Fat chance. 80 00:03:35,361 --> 00:03:38,489 Sorry. Curvy, body positive chance. 81 00:03:38,572 --> 00:03:40,616 Look, I'm just gonna level with you. 82 00:03:41,867 --> 00:03:44,536 I'm having some financial issues. 83 00:03:45,162 --> 00:03:48,999 It's temporary. I just need some money to cover me. Please. 84 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,920 Look, I almost would, but we're cash poor right now. 85 00:03:53,003 --> 00:03:55,631 I had to give Samantha a raise because she saw something-- 86 00:03:55,714 --> 00:03:59,009 [upbeat electronic music playing] 87 00:03:59,093 --> 00:04:00,427 Hi! 88 00:04:02,471 --> 00:04:03,597 [Samantha sighs happily] 89 00:04:03,681 --> 00:04:05,516 I just had to give her a raise. 90 00:04:05,599 --> 00:04:09,019 Anyway, you're just gonna have to be a big girl and figure it out. 91 00:04:09,103 --> 00:04:12,189 [scoffs] Sorry. Beautiful, voluptuous girl. 92 00:04:17,528 --> 00:04:19,071 This is centered. 93 00:04:19,154 --> 00:04:21,740 [Ryan] Thank God! You're such a perfectionist. 94 00:04:21,824 --> 00:04:25,077 Ordinarily, I'd be triggered by the fact that you're redecorating the house 95 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:27,079 and removing every single photo of me, 96 00:04:27,162 --> 00:04:30,416 but that Demi Moore pregnancy photo is major. 97 00:04:30,499 --> 00:04:33,210 I'm not removing every photo. It was like a shrine. 98 00:04:33,294 --> 00:04:34,795 Ry, next photo, please. 99 00:04:34,878 --> 00:04:36,297 Like a beautiful shrine. 100 00:04:36,380 --> 00:04:37,798 No, this goes in the credenza. 101 00:04:40,676 --> 00:04:43,095 Mom, I, uh, have a Q for you. 102 00:04:43,178 --> 00:04:44,054 [Mom] Yes? 103 00:04:44,138 --> 00:04:47,016 Did I have, like, any disabled friends growing up? 104 00:04:48,309 --> 00:04:50,936 Oh, you had the-- the people in physical therapy. 105 00:04:51,020 --> 00:04:52,938 [Ryan] Yeah, but we weren't friends. 106 00:04:53,022 --> 00:04:55,816 We were like a sports team, and our rival was life. 107 00:04:55,899 --> 00:04:59,111 Well, when you played with other disabled kids, 108 00:04:59,194 --> 00:05:00,946 you were so high functioning, 109 00:05:01,030 --> 00:05:03,324 and it just made you feel bad. 110 00:05:03,407 --> 00:05:04,783 Why? Did I do something wrong? 111 00:05:04,867 --> 00:05:06,785 No, no. You didn't do anything wrong. 112 00:05:06,869 --> 00:05:09,246 I just, um… I'm going to this disabled meetup thing, 113 00:05:09,330 --> 00:05:13,125 and I've just never done that before, been with so many disabled people. 114 00:05:13,208 --> 00:05:16,962 That is wonder-- I'm so happy. Is… Is Henry going with you? 115 00:05:17,046 --> 00:05:18,797 -Mm-hmm. -Oh, that's nice. 116 00:05:18,881 --> 00:05:21,592 I haven't heard you talk about Tanner in a while. 117 00:05:21,675 --> 00:05:23,510 That's a good thing, I'm guessing? 118 00:05:23,594 --> 00:05:25,888 Yeah. I guess. 119 00:05:25,971 --> 00:05:28,891 I haven't heard you talk about Grandma in a while. 120 00:05:28,974 --> 00:05:30,142 Is that a good thing? 121 00:05:30,809 --> 00:05:32,227 I don't know what that is. 122 00:05:37,524 --> 00:05:40,152 I slept with Phil. 123 00:05:41,779 --> 00:05:43,489 [chuckles nervously] Oh… 124 00:05:43,572 --> 00:05:46,200 Oh, is that weird? [laughs] Is that weird? 125 00:05:46,283 --> 00:05:48,452 Cause I know-- Oh God, boundaries are a new thing. 126 00:05:48,535 --> 00:05:52,831 No, no, I-I fully support a sleeping with Phil journey. 127 00:05:52,915 --> 00:05:56,085 -Just as long as it's what you want. -[intensely] It was. 128 00:05:56,168 --> 00:05:58,504 Okay, the boundaries are going back up. [laughs] 129 00:05:58,587 --> 00:06:01,006 -[laughs] -[Ryan] Calm down. 130 00:06:01,090 --> 00:06:03,217 I just-- No, just for that moment. 131 00:06:03,300 --> 00:06:06,011 But now I, um, I need to be alone. 132 00:06:08,389 --> 00:06:09,681 God, Mom, 133 00:06:10,557 --> 00:06:15,396 you had such a fun life before I came along and just destroyed it. 134 00:06:15,479 --> 00:06:17,064 -You did destroy it. -Yeah. 135 00:06:17,147 --> 00:06:19,733 -Sorry. -I just keep thinking about this girl. 136 00:06:21,318 --> 00:06:22,361 Who she is, 137 00:06:23,821 --> 00:06:25,072 what she wanted. 138 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:30,828 You've been listening to a lot of Brené Brown lately? 139 00:06:30,911 --> 00:06:32,204 [Mom] In the car, yeah. 140 00:06:32,287 --> 00:06:34,289 Oh, she is just a lovely woman. 141 00:06:35,332 --> 00:06:39,461 [Ryan] Liking The Velvet Underground was my personality from ages, like, 14 to 17. 142 00:06:39,545 --> 00:06:40,921 [both laugh] 143 00:06:41,004 --> 00:06:42,840 [chuckles] Wait, what are you doing? 144 00:06:42,923 --> 00:06:45,884 I'm trying not to step on the crack. Bad luck, babe. 145 00:06:45,968 --> 00:06:47,386 Okay. 146 00:06:47,469 --> 00:06:51,723 So these people that we're meeting today, they're, like, fun and cool, right? 147 00:06:51,807 --> 00:06:55,060 I mean, they're disabled, but they're fun. And cool. 148 00:06:55,144 --> 00:06:57,813 Not to say that you can't be both, or whatever-- 149 00:06:57,896 --> 00:07:00,357 Babe, they're so fun, so cool. 150 00:07:00,441 --> 00:07:04,445 We have this whole initiation ritual where we beat you with our canes and walkers. 151 00:07:04,528 --> 00:07:06,989 But don't worry. You're gonna love! 152 00:07:09,700 --> 00:07:10,784 Um… 153 00:07:10,868 --> 00:07:13,162 Confused? I'm stimming, honey. 154 00:07:13,245 --> 00:07:16,915 Self-stimulatory behavior is occasionally a symptom of people like me 155 00:07:16,999 --> 00:07:20,169 that were diagnosed with Asperger's, but that term is now problematic, 156 00:07:20,252 --> 00:07:22,087 because, whoops, it was coined by Nazis, 157 00:07:22,171 --> 00:07:25,466 so technically now we're all just somewhere on the autistic spectrum. 158 00:07:25,549 --> 00:07:27,384 Neurodiverse if ya nasty. 159 00:07:27,468 --> 00:07:29,553 [shouts] But I mostly identify as hot! 160 00:07:32,222 --> 00:07:33,182 Wow! 161 00:07:33,265 --> 00:07:35,267 I wish I identified as hot. 162 00:07:35,350 --> 00:07:36,518 [both chuckle] 163 00:07:39,104 --> 00:07:39,938 [door opens] 164 00:07:40,022 --> 00:07:41,064 [distant chatter] 165 00:07:42,316 --> 00:07:43,192 [shouts] Hello? 166 00:07:43,817 --> 00:07:45,110 I've arrived! 167 00:07:45,194 --> 00:07:47,196 [distant chatter continuing] 168 00:07:49,531 --> 00:07:52,201 [laughing] 169 00:07:52,910 --> 00:07:54,995 -Hi, darling! -Hi, beta! 170 00:07:55,078 --> 00:07:57,831 Wow. [chuckles] I know you guys are excited to see me, 171 00:07:57,915 --> 00:07:59,166 but this is too much. 172 00:07:59,249 --> 00:08:02,669 -Ah-ah! No! -No, no, no, honey. That's not for you. 173 00:08:02,753 --> 00:08:03,587 You have to wait. 174 00:08:03,670 --> 00:08:05,255 Scusi? Who's it for, then? 175 00:08:05,339 --> 00:08:08,675 Ooh, Dev and Anisha just got engaged. [laughs excitedly] 176 00:08:08,759 --> 00:08:10,844 Just now! He proposed at brunch! 177 00:08:11,428 --> 00:08:14,389 And with you being here, it will be a shaadi ka ghar. 178 00:08:14,473 --> 00:08:16,308 A marriage house? Delightful. 179 00:08:16,391 --> 00:08:17,809 Come, come, come! Oh! 180 00:08:17,893 --> 00:08:22,022 Oh, hey, have you lost weight? I can finally get my arms around you. 181 00:08:22,105 --> 00:08:24,358 -What up, family? -Hey! 182 00:08:24,441 --> 00:08:27,110 [Mom laughs] There they are! 183 00:08:27,194 --> 00:08:28,612 [delighted squealing] 184 00:08:28,695 --> 00:08:30,364 Didi! 185 00:08:31,573 --> 00:08:32,449 [flat] Hi. 186 00:08:33,909 --> 00:08:35,827 [Anisha] So tasteful, right? 187 00:08:36,745 --> 00:08:40,499 Wow, Dev. You save up working at the cell phone kiosk at the mall? 188 00:08:40,582 --> 00:08:42,042 We have a real store now. Yeah. 189 00:08:42,125 --> 00:08:44,795 Living that flagship life. So why don't you eat my ass? 190 00:08:44,878 --> 00:08:46,338 -Never. -[Dad] Stop it. 191 00:08:46,421 --> 00:08:48,423 -This is a happy time. -[Mom] Mmm. 192 00:08:48,507 --> 00:08:51,301 -Where should I put my stuff? -In your old room. Where else? 193 00:08:51,385 --> 00:08:53,512 My old room is the pooja room now. 194 00:08:53,595 --> 00:08:56,223 There's an air mattress in there, so go blow it up. 195 00:08:56,306 --> 00:08:58,183 -I have a bad back. -[Mom] There we go. 196 00:08:58,267 --> 00:09:00,477 To the happy couple. One for you, one for me. 197 00:09:00,561 --> 00:09:01,728 [Mom laughs] 198 00:09:01,812 --> 00:09:03,730 Oh, Mom, you look hot. 199 00:09:03,814 --> 00:09:06,191 [all except Kim] Cheers! 200 00:09:06,275 --> 00:09:07,234 [laughing] 201 00:09:07,317 --> 00:09:11,488 [woman] So a cop pulled me over for casually doing 50 in a 35 zone. 202 00:09:11,572 --> 00:09:14,700 He asked me to get out of my car, I said I had to get my wheelchair, 203 00:09:14,783 --> 00:09:18,579 and he got all flustered and basically told me I was doing a great job. 204 00:09:18,662 --> 00:09:20,789 Was it condescending? Yes. 205 00:09:20,872 --> 00:09:24,001 Did my disability also save my ass hundreds of dollars? 206 00:09:24,084 --> 00:09:25,335 -Also, yes. -[Ryan chuckles] 207 00:09:25,419 --> 00:09:29,131 Bonus, he didn't murder me. Which was very off-brand. 208 00:09:29,214 --> 00:09:32,676 -[cheering] -Yay, no murdering! 209 00:09:33,885 --> 00:09:35,304 Uh, Ryan, you want to share? 210 00:09:36,513 --> 00:09:37,764 Oh. Um… 211 00:09:37,848 --> 00:09:39,766 Okay. Yeah. Uh… 212 00:09:39,850 --> 00:09:42,519 Hello, I'm Ryan, and I'm a Crips virgin. 213 00:09:42,603 --> 00:09:45,105 [cheering] 214 00:09:45,188 --> 00:09:46,189 Okay. 215 00:09:47,065 --> 00:09:47,941 Um… 216 00:09:48,442 --> 00:09:52,279 I have to admit, uh, I actually thought I was done dealing with my CP, 217 00:09:52,362 --> 00:09:54,698 but it still trolls me all the time. 218 00:09:54,781 --> 00:09:57,868 Um, Uber drivers ask what's wrong with me. [laughs nervously] 219 00:09:57,951 --> 00:10:01,580 Strangers come up to me at the gym and congratulate me simply for exercising. 220 00:10:01,663 --> 00:10:02,539 [woman] Ew. 221 00:10:02,623 --> 00:10:03,665 Inspiration porn. 222 00:10:03,749 --> 00:10:05,000 Is that what that is? 223 00:10:05,792 --> 00:10:07,502 Yeah, that makes sense. [laughs] 224 00:10:08,253 --> 00:10:09,296 And then, um… 225 00:10:11,298 --> 00:10:14,301 Well, whatever, I went on a date with a guy a few weeks ago, 226 00:10:14,384 --> 00:10:16,345 and he was super cute, an actor. 227 00:10:16,428 --> 00:10:19,222 I mean, Hallmark movies, but, you know, still. 228 00:10:19,890 --> 00:10:23,101 The whole time I was thinking, "What is he doing with me?" 229 00:10:23,185 --> 00:10:26,772 I mean, I know I'm not gay Grendel, but you know. 230 00:10:27,397 --> 00:10:29,733 Anyway, we were, um, hooking up, 231 00:10:29,816 --> 00:10:33,195 and he was just so focused on my disability. 232 00:10:33,278 --> 00:10:35,656 It was very clear that it turned him on. 233 00:10:36,198 --> 00:10:38,325 And it made me feel 234 00:10:38,950 --> 00:10:39,785 not great. 235 00:10:41,161 --> 00:10:43,497 And, of course, part of me was just like, "Oh." 236 00:10:44,289 --> 00:10:46,750 "This is why he was into me. It makes sense now." 237 00:10:47,250 --> 00:10:48,126 So, 238 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:49,961 anyway. [chuckles] 239 00:10:52,047 --> 00:10:52,881 [Henry] Wait. 240 00:10:53,632 --> 00:10:54,883 Hallmark movies? 241 00:10:55,676 --> 00:10:57,094 If you're gonna get fetishized, 242 00:10:57,177 --> 00:11:00,180 you can't give it up to anyone below, like, B-list movie star. 243 00:11:00,263 --> 00:11:01,807 [laughing] 244 00:11:02,724 --> 00:11:07,104 Okay, next up, an announcement about the theme for Crip Prom. 245 00:11:07,187 --> 00:11:08,772 After much consideration, 246 00:11:08,855 --> 00:11:14,569 we've decided that Arabian Nights was 100% problematic. 247 00:11:14,653 --> 00:11:17,864 So we decided on 248 00:11:17,948 --> 00:11:19,032 Under the Sea. 249 00:11:19,116 --> 00:11:20,200 [groaning] 250 00:11:20,283 --> 00:11:21,785 -No. -Why? 251 00:11:21,868 --> 00:11:25,747 What? The oceans are filled with plastic, and we have to honor them while we can. 252 00:11:26,248 --> 00:11:27,499 Do it for Greta. 253 00:11:27,582 --> 00:11:28,500 Gerwig? 254 00:11:28,583 --> 00:11:29,418 [woman] Thunberg. 255 00:11:29,501 --> 00:11:31,294 That's how you say it, right? 256 00:11:31,378 --> 00:11:33,797 -[man] I thought it was-- -[man 2] I don't know. 257 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:35,507 -[woman] "Thune." -[woman 2] "Thurn." 258 00:11:35,590 --> 00:11:37,884 [distant laughing] 259 00:11:37,968 --> 00:11:40,762 [distant laughing and chatting continues] 260 00:11:55,318 --> 00:11:57,279 [distant cheering] 261 00:11:57,362 --> 00:11:58,864 -[loud pop] -[air hissing] 262 00:12:04,369 --> 00:12:06,580 [Ryan] Kit is such a loller. 263 00:12:06,663 --> 00:12:07,873 Yeah, she's the best. 264 00:12:07,956 --> 00:12:11,334 She does stand-up. Actually, she calls it sit-down comedy. 265 00:12:11,418 --> 00:12:13,837 -We should go sometime. -Yeah, I would love that. 266 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:14,963 [both laugh] 267 00:12:15,046 --> 00:12:16,673 Well, I'm glad you had fun. 268 00:12:16,757 --> 00:12:18,467 Are you kidding? It was amazing. 269 00:12:18,550 --> 00:12:20,510 -Thank you for bringing me. -No problem. 270 00:12:28,018 --> 00:12:28,852 Wait. 271 00:12:30,645 --> 00:12:32,314 -I'm sorry. Did I-- -I'm sorry. 272 00:12:32,397 --> 00:12:35,859 -Did I misread the vibe? -No, no, I was just surprised, that's all. 273 00:12:36,359 --> 00:12:37,694 -But I liked it. -[chuckles] 274 00:12:37,778 --> 00:12:38,904 That was good. 275 00:12:39,821 --> 00:12:42,240 Well, brace yourself, because 276 00:12:43,116 --> 00:12:44,326 I'm about to ask you out. 277 00:12:45,494 --> 00:12:46,620 Will you go on a date? 278 00:12:48,955 --> 00:12:50,165 Okay, sure! 279 00:12:50,248 --> 00:12:51,166 Yeah. 280 00:12:51,249 --> 00:12:52,167 [both chuckle] 281 00:12:52,250 --> 00:12:53,168 Um… 282 00:12:53,251 --> 00:12:54,586 I don't know if this matters, 283 00:12:54,669 --> 00:12:57,881 but you are, um, fully standing on a crack, so… 284 00:12:58,507 --> 00:12:59,549 It was worth it. 285 00:13:09,726 --> 00:13:10,727 [knocking at door] 286 00:13:12,103 --> 00:13:12,979 [sighs] 287 00:13:19,736 --> 00:13:20,570 Hi. 288 00:13:20,654 --> 00:13:22,781 [music playing from cell phone] 289 00:13:23,365 --> 00:13:26,576 Okay, so it turns out Sky Ferreira and I have the same acupuncturist, 290 00:13:26,660 --> 00:13:29,621 and Sky absolutely promised me she was going to be here today 291 00:13:29,704 --> 00:13:31,456 and sing "Everything Is Embarrassing," 292 00:13:31,540 --> 00:13:34,125 but then she texted an hour ago that she had a head cold. 293 00:13:34,209 --> 00:13:36,753 Which, what? How dare you? It was very annoying-- 294 00:13:36,837 --> 00:13:38,338 Okay, none of that is true-- 295 00:13:38,421 --> 00:13:41,800 It's true, none of that is true, but I was trying to make a grand gesture. 296 00:13:41,883 --> 00:13:44,302 "Everything Is Embarrassing" is a perfect song, 297 00:13:44,386 --> 00:13:47,472 and I wanted to do something perfect to show that I've missed you, 298 00:13:47,556 --> 00:13:50,433 and not like, "This kinda sucks, but I'll just eat ice cream, 299 00:13:50,517 --> 00:13:52,435 listen to some Slowdive and get over it." 300 00:13:54,729 --> 00:13:55,564 Ryan. 301 00:13:57,232 --> 00:13:58,316 When we first met, 302 00:13:59,401 --> 00:14:01,736 I wasn't looking for anything, because-- 303 00:14:02,237 --> 00:14:03,989 Well, you know why. 304 00:14:04,823 --> 00:14:09,494 But you are so yourself, and… 305 00:14:10,078 --> 00:14:13,164 you look at everything like you're seeing it for the first time, 306 00:14:13,248 --> 00:14:17,210 and I haven't been around that in, well, ever. 307 00:14:17,294 --> 00:14:18,545 [Tanner] I just feel like-- 308 00:14:18,628 --> 00:14:20,964 Tanner, I just-- I can't do this again. 309 00:14:21,047 --> 00:14:22,465 I broke up with Richard. 310 00:14:23,508 --> 00:14:24,426 [chuckles softly] 311 00:14:24,509 --> 00:14:27,721 [Tanner] And I wanna do this. Like, really, really do this. 312 00:14:28,722 --> 00:14:32,350 I'm sorry. You were supposed to be getting this big romantic gesture, 313 00:14:32,434 --> 00:14:36,104 and instead you're just getting this boy who is realizing that… 314 00:14:38,732 --> 00:14:39,608 he loves you. 315 00:14:41,651 --> 00:14:42,736 [chuckles] 316 00:14:47,616 --> 00:14:48,909 [Kim] He said, "I love you"? 317 00:14:48,992 --> 00:14:49,993 Wow. 318 00:14:50,076 --> 00:14:53,246 I told him I need time to think about it. Am I a monster? 319 00:14:53,330 --> 00:14:56,082 No, you're behaving rationally. 320 00:14:56,166 --> 00:14:59,044 Unlike Tanner, who… [groans] 321 00:15:00,128 --> 00:15:01,588 I don't know, Ry. 322 00:15:01,671 --> 00:15:03,256 It just seems really fast. 323 00:15:04,299 --> 00:15:05,383 Do you love him? 324 00:15:06,176 --> 00:15:07,135 I think so. 325 00:15:07,218 --> 00:15:10,096 I mean, how do you know if you love someone? 326 00:15:11,264 --> 00:15:14,267 Ooh, I know I love that dress. Do not throw it out. 327 00:15:14,351 --> 00:15:17,520 Ry, you're here to maintain my sanity during family dinner, 328 00:15:17,604 --> 00:15:19,230 not play Project Runway judge. 329 00:15:19,314 --> 00:15:21,066 Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 330 00:15:21,149 --> 00:15:23,860 It's just, isn't selling your clothes a little extreme? 331 00:15:23,944 --> 00:15:26,863 You're not paying rent. That should cover some of your debt. 332 00:15:27,656 --> 00:15:28,907 I want a fresh start. 333 00:15:30,158 --> 00:15:31,159 Okay. 334 00:15:32,202 --> 00:15:34,537 So, look, should I get back together with Tanner, 335 00:15:34,621 --> 00:15:37,582 or should I explore things with Henry? I really need your help. 336 00:15:37,666 --> 00:15:38,583 I don't know, Ry. 337 00:15:39,250 --> 00:15:41,711 I think you really just need to listen to your heart. 338 00:15:41,795 --> 00:15:44,214 And a little bit of your penis, but mostly your heart. 339 00:15:45,966 --> 00:15:47,592 Now, let's go to happy hour. 340 00:15:47,676 --> 00:15:49,970 I need two to seven drinks before family dinner. 341 00:15:54,683 --> 00:15:55,600 [slurping] 342 00:15:58,311 --> 00:16:00,939 I gotta say, Anisha, I don't really know you, 343 00:16:01,022 --> 00:16:05,026 but you look like the type of person that's always on day three of a cleanse, 344 00:16:05,110 --> 00:16:08,405 so congrats on that, and welcome to the family. 345 00:16:08,488 --> 00:16:11,116 [sweetly] Oh my God, thank you. 346 00:16:11,199 --> 00:16:15,662 And I just want you guys to know that I will not be pulling a bridezilla. 347 00:16:15,745 --> 00:16:18,999 Honestly, I've seen people go crazy with their weddings. 348 00:16:19,499 --> 00:16:22,877 -I just want ours to be simple. -This is why I fucking love her. 349 00:16:22,961 --> 00:16:23,878 [laughing] 350 00:16:23,962 --> 00:16:28,133 250 people max, and a destination wedding, but to a place with direct flights. 351 00:16:28,216 --> 00:16:29,259 -Perfect. -Yeah. 352 00:16:29,342 --> 00:16:31,970 Beta, put your napkin on your lap. 353 00:16:32,554 --> 00:16:33,596 [Mom] Oh, here. 354 00:16:34,723 --> 00:16:35,557 [chuckles] 355 00:16:36,891 --> 00:16:38,560 -There you go. -Thank you, Mommy. 356 00:16:39,310 --> 00:16:43,231 We're all so excited about the wedding, we have lost our manners. 357 00:16:43,314 --> 00:16:46,401 We have another big development in our household. 358 00:16:46,484 --> 00:16:50,196 Oh, yes. Kim is finally introducing us to Ryan! 359 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:51,364 [Mom chuckles] 360 00:16:51,448 --> 00:16:54,826 We have read all your articles on Eggyolk. You're very talented. 361 00:16:55,535 --> 00:16:56,953 It's Eggwoke, Mom. 362 00:16:57,871 --> 00:17:00,498 I don't-- [hesitates] That doesn't make sense. 363 00:17:00,582 --> 00:17:01,916 You guys are very sweet, 364 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:05,545 but really, it's Kim who taught me everything I know, so… 365 00:17:05,628 --> 00:17:12,093 So happy to have our Karishma back home, and, Ryan, so lovely to finally meet you. 366 00:17:12,677 --> 00:17:13,636 [Dad] Cheers. 367 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:14,929 -Cheers. -Cheers. 368 00:17:15,013 --> 00:17:17,140 -So lovely too. -Cheers. 369 00:17:17,223 --> 00:17:18,224 Mmm… 370 00:17:18,308 --> 00:17:22,228 And beta, thank you so much for donating those clothes. It was very generous. 371 00:17:23,271 --> 00:17:26,232 -What? -I told you I was going to the Goodwill. 372 00:17:26,316 --> 00:17:28,985 I took that bag, the one you left on the stairs, yeah? 373 00:17:29,069 --> 00:17:30,904 Those were the clothes I was gonna sell! 374 00:17:31,988 --> 00:17:33,656 Yikes. 375 00:17:33,740 --> 00:17:35,700 That was a lot of designer stuff. 376 00:17:36,201 --> 00:17:37,577 It must have been worth a lot. 377 00:17:37,660 --> 00:17:39,996 I-I'm sorry, darling. 378 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:42,207 Truly, I-I… I didn't know. 379 00:17:44,709 --> 00:17:46,377 -[clattering] -Seconds? 380 00:17:47,587 --> 00:17:49,047 I'm-- I'm stuffed. [chuckles] 381 00:17:55,678 --> 00:17:57,680 Um, how did you two meet? 382 00:17:57,764 --> 00:17:58,890 Oh… [chuckles] 383 00:17:58,973 --> 00:18:00,642 -Do you want me-- Okay. -You tell it. 384 00:18:00,725 --> 00:18:02,727 -Okay, I'll try not to cry. -[chuckles] 385 00:18:02,811 --> 00:18:05,438 We, um… We met-- I was deejaying at the WeWork, 386 00:18:05,522 --> 00:18:08,608 you know, making those tech dollars, and then I saw her. 387 00:18:08,691 --> 00:18:13,404 And I was like, "Yo, you look almost as beautiful as my mother." 388 00:18:13,488 --> 00:18:16,908 -And she was like, "Who are you?" -"Who are you?" 389 00:18:16,991 --> 00:18:18,743 -[Mom] Oh! -[Anisha chuckles] 390 00:18:18,827 --> 00:18:19,828 -Yeah. -[Kim] Wow. 391 00:18:20,578 --> 00:18:24,165 Woman uproots entire life for DJ. [sarcastically] Sounds promising. 392 00:18:28,211 --> 00:18:29,295 Karishma. 393 00:18:29,796 --> 00:18:32,132 What, Mom? You triggered? How about this? 394 00:18:32,757 --> 00:18:33,967 [groans loudly] 395 00:18:34,050 --> 00:18:35,802 Oh my God, it's so good. 396 00:18:35,885 --> 00:18:38,096 Mmm, I can feel my buttons getting tighter. 397 00:18:38,179 --> 00:18:39,180 Oh, it's so good! 398 00:18:39,264 --> 00:18:42,892 Oh God, my eyelids are gaining so much weight I can barely keep it open. 399 00:18:42,976 --> 00:18:44,227 I love being fat. 400 00:18:44,310 --> 00:18:47,689 And you know what? Why is everyone at this table so goddamn thin? 401 00:18:47,772 --> 00:18:50,775 -Maybe there's something wrong with you. -Show me to the bathroom? 402 00:18:50,859 --> 00:18:54,696 Yeah, let me get my fat ass up before I break this goddamn chair. 403 00:18:54,779 --> 00:18:57,115 Time to go. Come on. We'll be right back. 404 00:18:57,699 --> 00:18:59,826 I love food! 405 00:18:59,909 --> 00:19:01,786 Okay, what the hell is going on? 406 00:19:01,870 --> 00:19:04,706 It's turning into August: Osage County out there. 407 00:19:04,789 --> 00:19:07,125 Also, is your brother trying to fuck your mom? 408 00:19:07,208 --> 00:19:08,376 We don't talk about that. 409 00:19:09,043 --> 00:19:10,211 And I'm fine. 410 00:19:10,295 --> 00:19:13,590 Okay, you and I, we love a truthful bathroom moment, 411 00:19:13,673 --> 00:19:15,258 so do not lie to me. 412 00:19:17,635 --> 00:19:18,595 Oh, fine. 413 00:19:19,804 --> 00:19:22,724 [sighs] Truth? I didn't move home to save money. 414 00:19:22,807 --> 00:19:27,061 I moved home because I got evicted, and I literally have nowhere else to go. 415 00:19:27,145 --> 00:19:29,731 Honey, why didn't you tell me? 416 00:19:29,814 --> 00:19:31,316 I thought I could fix it. 417 00:19:32,108 --> 00:19:34,152 And, Truth Bader Ginsburg, rest in power-- 418 00:19:34,235 --> 00:19:35,278 I miss her every day. 419 00:19:35,361 --> 00:19:39,324 Now that my mom donated all those clothes, which in total were worth like six grand, 420 00:19:39,407 --> 00:19:41,784 I'm basically here indefinitely. 421 00:19:42,911 --> 00:19:45,622 Well, you can always stay with me. 422 00:19:45,705 --> 00:19:47,582 Oh, Ry. 423 00:19:48,875 --> 00:19:51,794 I've come too far to be a straight girl sleeping on her gay friend's couch. 424 00:19:51,878 --> 00:19:53,296 -[chuckles] -Thank you. 425 00:19:53,379 --> 00:19:54,839 -[knock at door] -[door opens] 426 00:19:54,923 --> 00:19:56,341 Hey, guys. 427 00:19:56,966 --> 00:19:58,968 Are you doing coke in here? 428 00:20:04,015 --> 00:20:06,226 [Henry] I'm just saying, sometimes I wish I was a lesbian 429 00:20:06,309 --> 00:20:09,187 so Kristen Stewart could destroy my life for six weeks. 430 00:20:09,270 --> 00:20:12,523 Yes! Personal Shopper is lesbian and gay culture. 431 00:20:12,607 --> 00:20:15,193 Lesbian and gay culture, thank you, thank you! 432 00:20:15,276 --> 00:20:17,570 I've been saying this for so long. [chuckles] 433 00:20:17,654 --> 00:20:21,866 By the way, I am loving your mesh shirt-skirt combo. 434 00:20:21,950 --> 00:20:26,663 [playfully] Oh, me? Ryan, you shouldn't have. Thank you. 435 00:20:26,746 --> 00:20:29,374 -[Ryan laughs] -Yeah, I totally fuck with skirts. 436 00:20:29,874 --> 00:20:34,379 Well, I think it's also because growing up, people would stare at me, 437 00:20:34,462 --> 00:20:36,923 and a part of me was like, "If you're gonna do that, 438 00:20:37,006 --> 00:20:39,801 I might as well give you something to look at." [laughs] 439 00:20:39,884 --> 00:20:40,802 I'm jealous. 440 00:20:40,885 --> 00:20:43,012 Oh my God, no. You can pull off a skirt. 441 00:20:43,096 --> 00:20:47,308 Oh, no. I mean, thank you, but, with me, it's kind of always been the opposite. 442 00:20:47,392 --> 00:20:51,896 It's always been like, you know, blend in, don't draw attention to your disability. 443 00:20:53,189 --> 00:20:54,023 Okay. 444 00:20:55,149 --> 00:20:59,320 Not to speak in bumper sticker here, but you can fight who you are, 445 00:20:59,404 --> 00:21:01,656 but that's a fight you ain't ever gonna win, 446 00:21:01,739 --> 00:21:03,992 so you might as well embrace it. 447 00:21:04,075 --> 00:21:08,121 Yeah. No, I mean, I'm getting there. It's just a journey. You know? 448 00:21:08,204 --> 00:21:09,289 You're doing great. 449 00:21:09,372 --> 00:21:11,499 -Aw, thank you. -[Henry chuckles] 450 00:21:15,962 --> 00:21:17,588 I've been on a lot of dates-- 451 00:21:17,672 --> 00:21:19,132 Okay, bragging. 452 00:21:19,215 --> 00:21:21,634 No, no, no. And I swear, that's not bragging at all. 453 00:21:21,718 --> 00:21:26,139 Most of the guys have been so sketchy or kind of flaky, but this… 454 00:21:27,223 --> 00:21:29,934 this has been awesome. 455 00:21:30,643 --> 00:21:32,770 [chuckles] It's been awesome for me too. 456 00:21:33,604 --> 00:21:34,689 Which is, um, 457 00:21:35,732 --> 00:21:37,900 annoying and inconvenient. 458 00:21:37,984 --> 00:21:42,113 Henry, I'm kind of in a weird boy situation right now. 459 00:21:42,196 --> 00:21:43,114 Oh. 460 00:21:43,823 --> 00:21:45,491 Twist. Okay. 461 00:21:45,575 --> 00:21:49,412 I-I don't mean to be, like, vague or Etch A Sketch or whatever. I just-- 462 00:21:50,204 --> 00:21:52,457 Can you give me, like, a beat to figure it out? 463 00:21:52,540 --> 00:21:53,374 Yeah. 464 00:21:54,375 --> 00:21:56,794 No, totally okay. 465 00:21:57,670 --> 00:21:59,255 Don't worry. We're all good. 466 00:21:59,339 --> 00:22:00,798 -Okay. -Don't worry. 467 00:22:00,882 --> 00:22:02,133 -Cool. -It's cool. 468 00:22:12,268 --> 00:22:13,519 [message alert tone] 469 00:22:20,860 --> 00:22:21,861 [new message tone] 470 00:22:26,783 --> 00:22:27,784 [new message tone] 471 00:22:31,996 --> 00:22:32,997 [new message tone] 472 00:22:39,837 --> 00:22:41,381 [sighs] This is stupid. 473 00:22:45,802 --> 00:22:47,095 [phone rings out] 474 00:22:48,304 --> 00:22:49,138 Hey. 475 00:22:50,348 --> 00:22:51,641 Do you want to come over? 476 00:22:54,936 --> 00:23:00,358 Hey, I made you some lunch, even though technically it's almost dinnertime. 477 00:23:00,441 --> 00:23:01,442 Thanks, Dad. 478 00:23:02,944 --> 00:23:06,114 Beta, why were you behaving so hostile last night? 479 00:23:08,366 --> 00:23:09,367 I just feel like 480 00:23:10,326 --> 00:23:12,578 I'm in The Twilight Zone or something. 481 00:23:12,662 --> 00:23:15,832 All you and Mom care about are Dev and the wedding. 482 00:23:15,915 --> 00:23:17,417 He didn't even graduate college, 483 00:23:17,500 --> 00:23:20,461 but because he got engaged, he's some sort of golden god. 484 00:23:22,088 --> 00:23:25,925 Beta, it's because, growing up, you were always so 485 00:23:26,634 --> 00:23:28,636 scrappy and independent. 486 00:23:29,262 --> 00:23:31,139 You knew where you were going, 487 00:23:31,222 --> 00:23:33,141 and Dev didn't. 488 00:23:33,224 --> 00:23:35,852 He was unfocused, a little lazy, and-- 489 00:23:35,935 --> 00:23:38,020 Don't forget the unearned confidence. 490 00:23:38,688 --> 00:23:42,942 The dude sells vanity cell phone cases. He should not have that much self-esteem. 491 00:23:43,025 --> 00:23:47,738 I'm just saying this is the first time he's made a decision that is positive 492 00:23:47,822 --> 00:23:50,199 and shows some semblance of maturity. 493 00:23:51,159 --> 00:23:52,785 Dev needs an Anisha. 494 00:23:52,869 --> 00:23:54,620 You don't. You have you. 495 00:23:55,121 --> 00:23:59,208 [emotional instrumental music playing] 496 00:24:00,251 --> 00:24:02,795 I'm $46,000 in credit card debt. 497 00:24:04,005 --> 00:24:06,799 [silence] 498 00:24:09,719 --> 00:24:10,803 [knocking at door] 499 00:24:13,097 --> 00:24:13,931 Hi. 500 00:24:15,516 --> 00:24:17,894 "Hello, Tanner. Thank you for coming." 501 00:24:17,977 --> 00:24:20,605 "I hope there wasn't too much traffic on the way here." 502 00:24:21,314 --> 00:24:22,607 "Would you want to come in?" 503 00:24:30,907 --> 00:24:33,367 Uh, please sit anywhere you like. 504 00:24:36,954 --> 00:24:38,206 [sighs] 505 00:24:38,289 --> 00:24:39,123 [Ryan] Okay. 506 00:24:40,166 --> 00:24:42,126 [inhales and mutters quietly] 507 00:24:42,210 --> 00:24:44,128 -[cards flipping] -[Ryan clears his throat] 508 00:24:45,588 --> 00:24:46,506 [sighs] 509 00:24:47,298 --> 00:24:48,549 You know what? Fuck it. 510 00:24:48,633 --> 00:24:53,179 Um, I wrote a whole speech, but I am just gonna say what I'm thinking. 511 00:24:53,679 --> 00:24:56,891 And, um, what I'm thinking is, is that, you know, 512 00:24:56,974 --> 00:24:59,977 ever since I met you, I have felt different. 513 00:25:00,061 --> 00:25:03,272 It's crazy, 'cause we haven't really even known each other that long, 514 00:25:03,356 --> 00:25:07,485 but, like, when we're together, it's like, wow, we are together. You know? 515 00:25:11,030 --> 00:25:13,616 So, are you trying to say, and you can be honest, 516 00:25:13,699 --> 00:25:15,826 or you don't have to be, or whatever you-- 517 00:25:15,910 --> 00:25:17,495 I-- What are you try-- What? 518 00:25:18,329 --> 00:25:19,247 [sighs] 519 00:25:20,748 --> 00:25:23,751 People always think of me as this boy in the bubble. 520 00:25:24,252 --> 00:25:27,797 And when I met you, it just, like, the bubble burst. 521 00:25:28,589 --> 00:25:31,759 And it was scary as shit, until it wasn't. 522 00:25:33,219 --> 00:25:37,640 Tanner, when I'm with you, everything is just so alive and exciting, 523 00:25:37,723 --> 00:25:41,602 and I just feel like everything is just finally possible for me. 524 00:25:43,145 --> 00:25:44,063 I love you. 525 00:25:45,398 --> 00:25:46,357 I love you too. 526 00:25:49,485 --> 00:25:53,489 [electronic pop music playing] 527 00:26:05,793 --> 00:26:09,839 ♪ Maybe if you let me be your lover ♪ 528 00:26:09,922 --> 00:26:13,843 ♪ Maybe if you tried Then I would not bother ♪ 529 00:26:13,926 --> 00:26:17,972 ♪ Telling me that basically You're not looking out for me ♪ 530 00:26:18,055 --> 00:26:22,059 ♪ Everything is true to me Never words where you would see ♪ 531 00:26:22,143 --> 00:26:26,230 ♪ Maybe if you let me be your lover ♪ 532 00:26:26,314 --> 00:26:31,527 ♪ Maybe if you tried Then I would not bother ♪ 533 00:26:38,618 --> 00:26:42,663 ♪ Maybe if you let me be your lover ♪ 534 00:26:42,747 --> 00:26:46,751 ♪ Maybe if you tried Then I would not bother ♪ 535 00:26:46,834 --> 00:26:50,755 ♪ Telling me that basically You're not looking out for me ♪ 536 00:26:50,838 --> 00:26:54,925 ♪ Everything is true to me Never words where you would see ♪ 537 00:26:55,009 --> 00:26:58,971 ♪ I've been hating everything Everything that could have been ♪ 538 00:26:59,055 --> 00:27:03,309 ♪ Could have been my anything Now everything's embarrassing ♪