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‎NETFLIX 原創影集

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‎（陪審團出庭通知，萊恩海耶斯收）

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‎很好

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‎我就是愛盲目跟流行

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‎現在我在進行間歇性斷食

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‎所以我要進食16小時，斷食8小時

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‎應該不是那樣吧

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‎我知道自己在做什麼

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‎今晚的計畫照舊嗎？

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‎對，我們要看完萬世流芳的故事

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‎該死的《戀愛時代》

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‎兩週內看完五季，我們…

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‎讓人失望

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‎讓人徹底失望

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‎各位，有個大消息

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‎食品藥物管理局正在考慮
‎將我們近期發布的內容列為安眠藥

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‎萊恩，關於你的殘疾的文章
‎已經寫完好幾週了

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‎也就是說，大家都很關心你的意見

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‎你在寫什麼？

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‎其實我最近正好碰上了寫作瓶頸

21
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‎但我們的新辦公室有靈感帳棚

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‎你沒去過嗎？

23
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‎（來這裡找靈感）

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‎去過很多次了，我很喜歡，只是…

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‎我猜大家說的沒錯
‎在快樂時創作會更容易

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‎你不快樂

27
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‎沒有啦，我很快樂

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‎真的嗎？因為你已經有兩個月
‎沒和你媽說話了

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‎-妳怎麼知道？
‎-薩曼莎跟我說的

30
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‎她什麼都告訴我

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‎你沒看到我，但我看到你了

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‎-所以你還好嗎？想媽媽了？
‎-我沒事

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‎-你不需要媽媽？
‎-夠了，奧莉維亞

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‎不如你再寫一篇
‎關於你的殘疾的文章吧？

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‎你可以當時下最流行的邊緣人

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‎我很樂意，但我已經寫過了

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‎我不知道還能再寫什麼

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‎因為我的腦癱其實沒什麼特別的

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‎既然如此，誰有性生活？

40
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‎同志直女好拍檔，我知道你們沒有
‎你們只和彼此混在一起

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‎-才不是那樣
‎-才不是那樣

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‎我們過著充實又快樂的生活

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‎對啦，好好享受《戀愛時代》吧

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‎小心劇透，簡最後會死

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‎-她是最精彩的部分
‎-我好愛她

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‎那是給我的

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‎天啊，好貼心，我的情緒好激動

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‎沒錯

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‎我有了新的愛人

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‎雷

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‎請別再問了，我說真的

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‎別問了

53
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‎在這令人興奮的時刻
‎請尊重我的隱私

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‎奧莉維亞交了男朋友？

55
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‎薩曼莎有性生活？

56
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‎大笑，嚇死我了

57
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‎我想我們今晚應該…

58
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‎對，我們要出去玩

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‎好，我們來玩個遊戲

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‎猜猜是同性戀還是眼神友善？

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‎小萊，我們為什麼要來這裡？

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‎簡林德利在等我們

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‎小金，簡林德利已經死了

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‎就像我們的感情生活

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‎我是自願的

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‎我沒興趣和壓迫我的人交往

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‎好吧，那我只代表自己發言

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‎我陷入了嚴重的老二乾旱

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‎凱利是我最後摸到的男人

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‎我還以為我們會在一起
‎是不是太可悲了？

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‎凱利搬去紐約
‎想成為下一個羅南法羅

72
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‎那也不能怪你

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‎好，妳知道嗎？
‎今晚我要認識一個男人

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‎我建議妳也照做

75
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‎好啦

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‎那就來吧

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‎妳在…

78
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‎妳在做什麼？

79
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‎備戰

80
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‎現在解散！

81
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‎好

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‎天啊，對不起，撞到你了

83
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‎哈囉，你好嗎？

84
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‎別難過，他是異性戀

85
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‎你怎麼知道？

86
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‎我偷聽到他叫一個女人微笑

87
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‎太老套了

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‎評論說這裡很多元，直男、同志都有

89
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‎但就我們的儀態來看
‎我想我們應該是在場唯一的同志

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‎這裡以前很多元

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‎但自從舊金山和舔肛出現之後

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‎直男稱霸，這裡就成了他們的地盤

93
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‎-真可惡，那是文化挪用
‎-討厭死了

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‎或許我們應該以親熱表示抗議

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‎就在此時此地

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‎我一向很激進

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‎-抱歉
‎-沒關係

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‎順道一提，我有男友了

99
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‎-什麼？
‎-我們是開放式關係，完全光明正大

100
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‎好

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‎劇名：一日情

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‎你好

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‎早安

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‎你在…你不用整理的，我是說…

105
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‎我有個原則
‎離開的時候要比初相識時更美好

106
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‎這樣啊

107
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‎所以…

108
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‎所以…

109
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‎昨天晚上很有趣

110
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‎非常有趣

111
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‎對，你是我帶回家的男人中前十名

112
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‎也是發生關係對象的前十名

113
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‎-好
‎-對

114
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‎第一次吧？

115
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‎有這麼明顯嗎？

116
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‎沒有，你做得很棒

117
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‎你家完全沒有食物
‎我不是怪人，但我找過了

118
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‎那是因為下廚不是我的人生道路

119
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‎我知道解決辦法，我們去吃早餐吧

120
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‎等等，妳的女神是史蓋芙蕾拉？

121
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‎對，《多麼尷尬》是很棒的流行歌

122
00:07:32,139 --> 00:07:34,141
‎那首歌本身也有點尷尬

123
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‎對，你說的沒錯

124
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‎不對，不要退縮，你要捍衛你的女神

125
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‎好吧

126
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‎她的歌聲很動聽，她沒出過爛歌

127
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‎沒錯，她常說好要發新歌卻沒有

128
00:07:46,820 --> 00:07:49,406
‎但她被批評的內容
‎大多是出於厭女情節

129
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‎說得很好，男同志女權者
‎我已經硬了

130
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‎我當過幾支音樂錄影帶的伴舞舞者
‎包括席亞拉

131
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‎不要吃醋

132
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‎沒吃醋，但那挺酷的

133
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‎謝謝，但工作越來越少

134
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‎現在我每星期會去運動聚會
‎帶幾堂跳舞課

135
00:08:08,383 --> 00:08:10,511
‎你知道大家怎麼說的
‎“成不了大事的人

136
00:08:10,594 --> 00:08:13,180
‎就去教人跳複雜的舞”

137
00:08:14,556 --> 00:08:15,474
‎你做什麼工作？

138
00:08:16,183 --> 00:08:18,810
‎我在一個叫“蛋醒網”的部落格寫作

139
00:08:19,686 --> 00:08:21,438
‎應該說是我之前的工作

140
00:08:21,980 --> 00:08:24,358
‎我遲到很久了，可能已經被開除了

141
00:08:24,441 --> 00:08:25,484
‎交給我吧

142
00:08:26,401 --> 00:08:30,405
‎“從今天起，我要在家上班
‎寫一篇清單體文章

143
00:08:30,489 --> 00:08:35,244
‎名叫《與坦納這男人上床
‎比上班還棒的五個原因》”

144
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‎我應該附上一張我屁股的照片
‎對吧？

145
00:08:37,913 --> 00:08:39,373
‎很多人都靠視覺學習

146
00:08:39,456 --> 00:08:40,332
‎這樣有幫助嗎？

147
00:08:40,415 --> 00:08:41,959
‎不行，絕不能那樣寫

148
00:08:42,042 --> 00:08:42,876
‎這些都是真的

149
00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:45,003
‎那不重要，就是不能寫

150
00:08:49,633 --> 00:08:50,467
‎幹嘛？

151
00:08:51,468 --> 00:08:52,302
‎沒什麼

152
00:08:52,928 --> 00:08:54,805
‎只是你真的很酷

153
00:08:56,974 --> 00:08:58,642
‎你也真的很酷

154
00:09:06,149 --> 00:09:09,278
‎我錯過《法網遊龍》了，都是妳害的

155
00:09:10,571 --> 00:09:12,656
‎抱歉，我不該帶這個來的

156
00:09:13,156 --> 00:09:14,074
‎打給萊恩

157
00:09:14,741 --> 00:09:17,828
‎他是年輕人，對這種東西比較擅長

158
00:09:17,911 --> 00:09:19,454
‎媽，我說過很多次了

159
00:09:19,538 --> 00:09:21,248
‎我和萊恩沒有聯絡

160
00:09:21,331 --> 00:09:22,624
‎怎麼回事？

161
00:09:22,708 --> 00:09:23,875
‎我們吵架了

162
00:09:24,710 --> 00:09:25,836
‎妳做了什麼？

163
00:09:26,962 --> 00:09:31,258
‎為什麼妳老覺得是我搞砸了？

164
00:09:31,341 --> 00:09:34,344
‎聽著，記得我們一年沒說話嗎？

165
00:09:34,845 --> 00:09:36,805
‎記得，妳還記得？

166
00:09:36,888 --> 00:09:41,393
‎當然，那時糟透了
‎而且吵的還是無關緊要的小事

167
00:09:41,476 --> 00:09:44,646
‎妳指控我殺了家裡的狗

168
00:09:44,730 --> 00:09:49,651
‎妳讓魔咒吃了巧克力爆米花

169
00:09:49,735 --> 00:09:51,862
‎這兩樣都能害死一隻狗

170
00:09:51,945 --> 00:09:54,323
‎不是我讓牠吃

171
00:09:54,406 --> 00:09:56,825
‎是牠趁我不注意時吃的

172
00:09:57,451 --> 00:09:59,161
‎-算了，妳剛才說什麼？
‎-聽著

173
00:09:59,911 --> 00:10:04,374
‎重點是，那段時光再也回不去了

174
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:08,295
‎被我們浪費掉了，因為我們都太固執

175
00:10:09,171 --> 00:10:10,505
‎而我非常後悔

176
00:10:13,634 --> 00:10:17,137
‎我的天啊，萊恩！

177
00:10:18,388 --> 00:10:19,431
‎這是你嗎？

178
00:10:19,514 --> 00:10:21,808
‎天啊，沒錯

179
00:10:22,643 --> 00:10:25,020
‎我把莉兒金的照片帶去髮廊

180
00:10:25,103 --> 00:10:26,980
‎說：“讓我變成這樣”

181
00:10:27,564 --> 00:10:30,317
‎萊恩兒，你真可愛

182
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:33,612
‎不，我只是悲慘又還沒出櫃

183
00:10:33,695 --> 00:10:34,821
‎你什麼時候出櫃的？

184
00:10:35,322 --> 00:10:36,198
‎17歲

185
00:10:37,157 --> 00:10:40,410
‎當時我拍了支出櫃影片給我媽看

186
00:10:40,494 --> 00:10:41,662
‎當時還沒有YouTube

187
00:10:41,745 --> 00:10:44,206
‎所以我沒辦法靠那賺錢，可是…

188
00:10:44,289 --> 00:10:47,042
‎我媽樂透了，她很為我開心

189
00:10:47,584 --> 00:10:48,502
‎你呢？

190
00:10:49,753 --> 00:10:50,879
‎當時糟透了

191
00:10:54,966 --> 00:10:58,136
‎你知道嗎？我們躺在床上太久了
‎運動一下吧

192
00:10:59,137 --> 00:11:00,972
‎我不運動的

193
00:11:01,473 --> 00:11:04,976
‎我教你我的一段舞步
‎很可愛，而且超簡單

194
00:11:05,852 --> 00:11:07,771
‎這段舞真的很簡單

195
00:11:07,854 --> 00:11:10,649
‎右手舉高，左腳往後

196
00:11:10,732 --> 00:11:14,069
‎等等，好，右手和…等一下，抱歉

197
00:11:14,152 --> 00:11:15,821
‎-沒關係，再來一次就好
‎-抱歉

198
00:11:15,904 --> 00:11:17,531
‎-右手舉高
‎-好，右手

199
00:11:18,448 --> 00:11:20,283
‎-左腳往後
‎-等等，好

200
00:11:20,367 --> 00:11:23,286
‎等等，抱歉，老實說我做不到

201
00:11:23,370 --> 00:11:24,705
‎大家都做得到

202
00:11:24,788 --> 00:11:27,332
‎對，但我跟大家不一樣，好嗎？

203
00:11:28,792 --> 00:11:30,460
‎我有腦性麻痺

204
00:11:32,045 --> 00:11:32,879
‎這樣啊

205
00:11:33,672 --> 00:11:34,715
‎我正想問你

206
00:11:35,924 --> 00:11:36,883
‎那是什麼？

207
00:11:38,009 --> 00:11:42,472
‎其實我寫過一篇文章
‎你可以上網搜尋，好嗎？

208
00:11:42,556 --> 00:11:44,182
‎好，沒關係

209
00:11:45,434 --> 00:11:46,685
‎那就做點別的吧

210
00:11:47,936 --> 00:11:48,770
‎你來選

211
00:11:48,854 --> 00:11:50,021
‎好

212
00:11:50,105 --> 00:11:53,358
‎好啦，我要選了…

213
00:12:01,658 --> 00:12:02,993
‎妳是媽媽！

214
00:12:04,870 --> 00:12:06,496
‎我…妳說什麼？

215
00:12:06,580 --> 00:12:09,124
‎我從妳眼神中的疲憊看出來了

216
00:12:09,207 --> 00:12:10,125
‎妳是萊恩的媽媽

217
00:12:10,959 --> 00:12:12,335
‎沒錯，可是…

218
00:12:12,419 --> 00:12:15,630
‎奧莉維亞，妳媽媽在二線

219
00:12:15,714 --> 00:12:18,425
‎天啊，她又違反保護令了

220
00:12:20,761 --> 00:12:22,387
‎海耶斯女士，妳好

221
00:12:24,222 --> 00:12:25,056
‎小金

222
00:12:26,016 --> 00:12:27,225
‎妳在這裡做什麼？

223
00:12:27,309 --> 00:12:29,895
‎我來找萊恩，他在嗎？

224
00:12:29,978 --> 00:12:33,482
‎其實他今天沒來

225
00:12:35,484 --> 00:12:39,654
‎他收到陪審團出庭通知
‎我想確定他有收到

226
00:12:39,738 --> 00:12:42,449
‎交給我吧，我會轉交給他

227
00:12:43,492 --> 00:12:45,952
‎沒關係，我之後再給他

228
00:12:46,995 --> 00:12:48,038
‎謝謝妳

229
00:12:48,622 --> 00:12:50,248
‎我覺得自己好蠢

230
00:12:50,832 --> 00:12:54,795
‎我買了一堆食材，要做包餡貝殼麵
‎因為…

231
00:12:55,962 --> 00:12:57,380
‎萊恩最愛吃那個

232
00:12:57,464 --> 00:13:01,885
‎我想說他可能會想來我家
‎可是他不在

233
00:13:02,677 --> 00:13:03,512
‎所以…

234
00:13:05,597 --> 00:13:08,850
‎小金，妳今晚要來吃晚餐嗎 ？

235
00:13:09,768 --> 00:13:12,062
‎不然食物只會浪費掉

236
00:13:13,605 --> 00:13:17,818
‎我很樂意
‎但我不知道萊恩是否會不高興

237
00:13:23,990 --> 00:13:24,866
‎管他的，我會去

238
00:13:25,867 --> 00:13:27,369
‎太棒了，義大利麵！

239
00:13:28,453 --> 00:13:29,830
‎太棒了，很好

240
00:13:29,913 --> 00:13:31,873
‎太好了

241
00:13:34,626 --> 00:13:36,837
‎-飛上天吧
‎-好

242
00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:40,841
‎是很可愛啦

243
00:13:40,924 --> 00:13:44,261
‎但一個成年男同性戀
‎怎麼會發展出晚期盪鞦韆成癮？

244
00:13:45,637 --> 00:13:47,472
‎我和家人出了一點問題

245
00:13:47,556 --> 00:13:49,683
‎想說這應該有冥想的效果

246
00:13:50,308 --> 00:13:51,810
‎-確實有
‎-往旁邊看

247
00:13:52,310 --> 00:13:55,105
‎雖然我們年紀比較大
‎但我們有權待在這裡

248
00:13:59,276 --> 00:14:00,360
‎-他走了嗎？
‎-他走了

249
00:14:00,443 --> 00:14:02,529
‎謝天謝地，很好，那你呢？

250
00:14:02,612 --> 00:14:04,030
‎你和家人親嗎？

251
00:14:04,114 --> 00:14:06,950
‎不親，其實是很疏遠

252
00:14:07,534 --> 00:14:10,328
‎我很想告訴你
‎但你會覺得我有瑕疵之類的

253
00:14:10,412 --> 00:14:12,873
‎什麼？我不會批評的，我保證

254
00:14:13,915 --> 00:14:16,084
‎我不是說我的出櫃經歷很糟嗎？

255
00:14:17,335 --> 00:14:20,380
‎我很晚才出櫃，在我24歲時

256
00:14:21,047 --> 00:14:23,091
‎我家人非常虔誠

257
00:14:23,174 --> 00:14:26,303
‎他們說：“你只能在同性戀
‎和當我家小孩之間擇一”

258
00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:31,933
‎從我的彩色襪子

259
00:14:32,017 --> 00:14:34,561
‎和我幾小時前幫你口交
‎這兩件事看得出來

260
00:14:34,644 --> 00:14:35,729
‎我選擇同性戀

261
00:14:36,688 --> 00:14:39,941
‎天啊，太糟糕了，真抱歉

262
00:14:42,652 --> 00:14:45,614
‎不好意思，換我們了

263
00:14:45,697 --> 00:14:49,701
‎我正在跟他說我爸媽拋棄我的故事
‎拜託妳體諒一下

264
00:14:49,784 --> 00:14:51,328
‎走吧，快滾！

265
00:14:53,455 --> 00:14:54,456
‎我喜歡小孩

266
00:14:54,539 --> 00:14:55,373
‎看得出來

267
00:14:56,207 --> 00:14:57,876
‎等等，那你家有什麼故事？

268
00:14:58,543 --> 00:15:01,004
‎一樣驚滔駭浪

269
00:15:02,756 --> 00:15:05,133
‎我爸在我嬰兒時期就離開了
‎我從沒見過他

270
00:15:05,216 --> 00:15:06,968
‎我媽和我很親

271
00:15:07,052 --> 00:15:08,094
‎應該說是以前很親

272
00:15:08,178 --> 00:15:10,513
‎我們在兩個月前大吵一架

273
00:15:10,597 --> 00:15:12,849
‎在那之後就沒說過話了

274
00:15:13,516 --> 00:15:15,226
‎我不是想跟你比慘

275
00:15:15,310 --> 00:15:17,479
‎但我已經好幾年沒聽到我爸媽的消息

276
00:15:17,562 --> 00:15:20,607
‎這很誇張
‎怎麼可以跟自己的小孩斷聯？

277
00:15:20,690 --> 00:15:22,025
‎最糟糕的是

278
00:15:23,610 --> 00:15:24,694
‎我還是想念他們

279
00:15:25,570 --> 00:15:27,322
‎就算經歷了這一切，是不是很慘？

280
00:15:31,034 --> 00:15:31,868
‎嘿

281
00:15:32,827 --> 00:15:36,081
‎要不要回我家，叫些東西來吃？

282
00:15:36,581 --> 00:15:37,415
‎我很樂意

283
00:15:39,292 --> 00:15:41,044
‎好，來吧

284
00:15:43,380 --> 00:15:44,381
‎開心一點

285
00:15:57,852 --> 00:15:58,728
‎天啊，卡倫

286
00:15:59,229 --> 00:16:01,189
‎包餡貝殼麵害死我了

287
00:16:01,898 --> 00:16:04,109
‎我最喜歡把碳水化合物
‎當作乳製品的容器

288
00:16:04,609 --> 00:16:08,405
‎真高興妳喜歡，萊恩虧大了

289
00:16:09,531 --> 00:16:10,740
‎對了，他還好嗎？

290
00:16:11,950 --> 00:16:12,909
‎他很好

291
00:16:12,993 --> 00:16:15,620
‎要我說細節會有點尷尬

292
00:16:16,287 --> 00:16:19,416
‎-妳懂吧？
‎-當然了

293
00:16:19,916 --> 00:16:21,001
‎我懂

294
00:16:22,377 --> 00:16:23,962
‎我不是想把妳捲進來

295
00:16:30,385 --> 00:16:32,554
‎天啊，有個帥氣熟男

296
00:16:33,179 --> 00:16:36,057
‎等等，那是妳男友？萊恩說過他很帥

297
00:16:36,766 --> 00:16:37,684
‎這樣很奇怪嗎？

298
00:16:37,767 --> 00:16:39,394
‎非常奇怪

299
00:16:39,978 --> 00:16:41,521
‎他不是我男友

300
00:16:42,022 --> 00:16:46,234
‎就是因為萊恩，他不喜歡菲爾…

301
00:16:47,277 --> 00:16:50,739
‎總之這不重要，他好像找到新對象了

302
00:16:50,822 --> 00:16:53,616
‎等等，萊恩逼妳跟他分手？

303
00:16:53,700 --> 00:16:54,617
‎不是

304
00:16:55,118 --> 00:16:56,161
‎不完全是

305
00:16:57,620 --> 00:17:00,248
‎好，我可以自由發言嗎？

306
00:17:00,331 --> 00:17:01,583
‎當然

307
00:17:01,666 --> 00:17:03,543
‎你們根本是互累關係

308
00:17:03,626 --> 00:17:07,380
‎就像諾曼貝茨那樣
‎只是妳還沒被殺掉

309
00:17:08,381 --> 00:17:09,924
‎他應該不會殺我吧

310
00:17:10,008 --> 00:17:13,303
‎聽著，互累關係是印度人發明的

311
00:17:13,887 --> 00:17:16,222
‎跟妳賭一盤包餡貝殼麵

312
00:17:16,306 --> 00:17:18,558
‎他的房間一定動都沒動過

313
00:17:23,646 --> 00:17:26,274
‎所以貝茲旅館真的還有一間空房

314
00:17:30,612 --> 00:17:32,947
‎-把這裝箱
‎-我晚點再弄

315
00:17:34,491 --> 00:17:36,659
‎那妳呢？妳有和人約會嗎？

316
00:17:37,327 --> 00:17:38,661
‎我會約會，我常常約會

317
00:17:39,370 --> 00:17:40,663
‎今天是星期五晚上

318
00:17:40,747 --> 00:17:43,416
‎妳卻在和妳同性戀好友的媽媽
‎打包他的東西

319
00:17:44,584 --> 00:17:45,877
‎天啊，卡倫，妳真狠

320
00:17:47,087 --> 00:17:49,380
‎好，妳知道嗎？我們要出去玩

321
00:17:50,048 --> 00:17:51,758
‎妳真好，但我不去

322
00:17:51,841 --> 00:17:53,843
‎聽著，妳現在只發揮了兩成的實力

323
00:17:54,344 --> 00:17:56,179
‎雖然我不想承認

324
00:17:56,262 --> 00:17:58,098
‎但我也該告別退休生涯

325
00:17:58,181 --> 00:18:00,558
‎喚回我的性感小金

326
00:18:00,642 --> 00:18:04,312
‎但我需要妳當我的護花姊妹，來嘛

327
00:18:05,438 --> 00:18:08,983
‎好，我去，但我得先打通電話

328
00:18:09,067 --> 00:18:10,110
‎打給萊恩？

329
00:18:10,193 --> 00:18:12,529
‎小金，我會陪妳去酒吧

330
00:18:12,612 --> 00:18:13,738
‎妳要見好就收

331
00:18:14,823 --> 00:18:17,408
‎天啊，私人界線，這是件好事

332
00:18:17,492 --> 00:18:19,119
‎這堆東西還是得打包

333
00:18:25,917 --> 00:18:27,961
‎你好，我是萊恩海耶斯

334
00:18:28,044 --> 00:18:29,420
‎請在嗶聲後留言

335
00:18:35,385 --> 00:18:37,846
‎卡倫，歡迎來到跟風男動物園

336
00:18:37,929 --> 00:18:40,348
‎除非妳喝醉了，否則別碰那些動物

337
00:18:40,431 --> 00:18:42,433
‎我不喜歡這裡

338
00:18:47,188 --> 00:18:48,982
‎性感的那個我要了，抱歉

339
00:18:59,159 --> 00:19:04,622
‎好，我通常不在剛做完愛的對象面前
‎吃泰式炒河粉

340
00:19:04,706 --> 00:19:06,666
‎可是…管他的

341
00:19:07,333 --> 00:19:09,794
‎幹，我要走了，理查剛傳了訊息給我

342
00:19:09,878 --> 00:19:12,338
‎-他的班機提早降落
‎-理查是誰？

343
00:19:12,422 --> 00:19:13,423
‎我男朋友

344
00:19:14,048 --> 00:19:16,217
‎他剛從柏林飛來，我要去接他

345
00:19:16,301 --> 00:19:17,385
‎這是我們的習慣

346
00:19:17,886 --> 00:19:18,720
‎在一起八年了

347
00:19:18,803 --> 00:19:22,307
‎我們還是相愛到願意去機場接送彼此

348
00:19:23,725 --> 00:19:27,395
‎抱歉，這真是太有趣了
‎沒想到會這麼開心

349
00:19:31,733 --> 00:19:32,567
‎再見

350
00:19:42,035 --> 00:19:43,119
‎（媽媽，語音訊息）

351
00:19:45,872 --> 00:19:48,041
‎嗨，小萊，我是媽媽

352
00:19:48,124 --> 00:19:50,460
‎我收到了陪審團出庭通知

353
00:19:50,543 --> 00:19:53,630
‎我想跟你約個時間，讓你來拿

354
00:19:53,713 --> 00:19:56,049
‎我也可以留在電視旁邊

355
00:19:57,425 --> 00:20:00,178
‎好，再回電給我，再見

356
00:20:04,933 --> 00:20:07,894
‎可以再請妳喝一杯嗎？
‎歡樂時段還沒結束

357
00:20:09,771 --> 00:20:13,524
‎專屬於我的半價飲料？真有風度

358
00:20:14,025 --> 00:20:15,026
‎我猜猜

359
00:20:15,109 --> 00:20:19,948
‎德瑞克，你說你喜歡閱讀
‎但你最愛巴斯圖體育網

360
00:20:20,031 --> 00:20:22,617
‎你住在卡爾弗城

361
00:20:22,700 --> 00:20:24,911
‎你堅信那裡越來越酷了

362
00:20:24,994 --> 00:20:27,288
‎其實我住在好萊塢山

363
00:20:27,372 --> 00:20:30,458
‎當然了，聽著，不用對我說謊

364
00:20:30,541 --> 00:20:32,043
‎我們等等一定會上床的

365
00:20:32,126 --> 00:20:35,964
‎但你得先請我和我朋友喝酒

366
00:20:36,047 --> 00:20:37,799
‎不能是半價的，好嗎？

367
00:20:37,882 --> 00:20:38,716
‎謝謝

368
00:20:39,217 --> 00:20:43,638
‎妳可以這麼跋扈是因為妳太性感了
‎妳知道吧？

369
00:20:47,267 --> 00:20:48,643
‎天啊，妳真美

370
00:20:49,811 --> 00:20:50,687
‎天啊

371
00:20:51,271 --> 00:20:54,941
‎謝謝，你很…年輕

372
00:20:55,024 --> 00:20:57,110
‎其實我也沒那麼年輕

373
00:20:57,902 --> 00:21:01,781
‎我辦公室有個實習生
‎連911事件都不記得

374
00:21:02,615 --> 00:21:04,492
‎幸好你還記得

375
00:21:04,575 --> 00:21:08,037
‎對，當時我在上學
‎我的老師，斯塔德勒老師

376
00:21:08,121 --> 00:21:10,790
‎很想找台電視，但她找不到

377
00:21:11,791 --> 00:21:15,044
‎所以我們都不知道發生什麼事
‎當時推特還不存在

378
00:21:15,128 --> 00:21:17,046
‎後來我媽來接我，我愛我媽

379
00:21:20,341 --> 00:21:22,427
‎-恕我失陪一下
‎-沒問題

380
00:21:24,512 --> 00:21:25,596
‎我先走了

381
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:27,974
‎再給我一點時間，我快談成了

382
00:21:28,641 --> 00:21:31,686
‎我從你身上感受到
‎“我有三個室友”的氣場

383
00:21:31,769 --> 00:21:32,729
‎對不對？

384
00:21:33,563 --> 00:21:34,689
‎我一個人住

385
00:21:34,772 --> 00:21:36,566
‎住在好萊塢山，對啦

386
00:21:37,066 --> 00:21:39,902
‎記得先確定你室友不在客廳

387
00:21:39,986 --> 00:21:41,362
‎我想…不要

388
00:21:41,446 --> 00:21:44,532
‎如果你的床墊放地上，我會馬上閃人

389
00:21:45,033 --> 00:21:46,576
‎人生苦短，德瑞克

390
00:21:48,077 --> 00:21:51,414
‎我要走了，但妳繼續待著吧

391
00:21:51,497 --> 00:21:55,209
‎-不，我們聊完了，對吧，德瑞克？
‎-再說一次，我不叫德瑞克

392
00:21:55,293 --> 00:21:57,795
‎但我可以載妳們一程，我有企業帳戶

393
00:21:57,879 --> 00:21:58,963
‎企業帳戶？

394
00:21:59,047 --> 00:22:01,674
‎就用你的企業帳戶吧，麥可克萊頓

395
00:22:02,175 --> 00:22:03,092
‎謝謝你

396
00:22:05,094 --> 00:22:07,930
‎-晚安了
‎-很高興認識妳，卡倫

397
00:22:08,014 --> 00:22:09,932
‎我是海耶斯太太

398
00:22:17,482 --> 00:22:18,316
‎媽？

399
00:22:20,443 --> 00:22:21,486
‎妳在家嗎？

400
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:23,529
‎我沒有惡意

401
00:23:01,943 --> 00:23:03,069
‎這是你家？

402
00:23:05,279 --> 00:23:07,573
‎我知道了，你和爸媽一起住
‎我們會很安靜的

403
00:23:08,741 --> 00:23:09,575
‎跟我來

404
00:23:11,577 --> 00:23:12,829
‎好，該死

405
00:23:13,621 --> 00:23:14,997
‎讓我溺死在你的泳池吧

406
00:23:19,168 --> 00:23:20,837
‎連味道都好香

407
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:24,215
‎好像上過無花果和香草的特權人士

408
00:23:27,677 --> 00:23:30,888
‎我的名字不是德瑞克，是哈里森

409
00:23:31,931 --> 00:23:36,519
‎我22歲時發明了一個
‎可以組織其他應用程式的程式

410
00:23:36,602 --> 00:23:38,479
‎我知道這聽起來很遜

411
00:23:38,563 --> 00:23:41,399
‎但它補足了市場的空缺

412
00:23:41,482 --> 00:23:42,775
‎讓我賺進百萬

413
00:23:43,776 --> 00:23:44,819
‎我是金牛座

414
00:23:45,570 --> 00:23:49,407
‎我愛吃，但我太愛自己了
‎無法說自己是吃貨

415
00:23:50,741 --> 00:23:51,576
‎還有

416
00:23:52,660 --> 00:23:54,120
‎妳可能注意到了

417
00:23:55,455 --> 00:23:57,665
‎我的老二非常漂亮

418
00:24:01,294 --> 00:24:02,628
‎讓我猜猜，妳…

419
00:24:03,629 --> 00:24:06,799
‎妳在時尚或公關圈工作

420
00:24:07,925 --> 00:24:10,511
‎週末會上靈魂飛輪健身房

421
00:24:10,595 --> 00:24:11,804
‎為了犒賞自己

422
00:24:11,888 --> 00:24:14,182
‎妳會和一票姊妹
‎去含羞草雞尾酒早午餐吃到飽

423
00:24:14,265 --> 00:24:17,602
‎但妳知道，妳其實不太喜歡她們

424
00:24:17,685 --> 00:24:19,228
‎天啊

425
00:24:19,312 --> 00:24:21,439
‎錯，錯得徹底

426
00:24:21,522 --> 00:24:22,773
‎好吧

427
00:24:23,858 --> 00:24:24,859
‎我再猜一次

428
00:24:26,360 --> 00:24:27,778
‎妳的品味不錯

429
00:24:28,738 --> 00:24:29,947
‎穿著名牌紅底高跟鞋

430
00:24:30,031 --> 00:24:31,240
‎我妹妹會穿

431
00:24:33,242 --> 00:24:34,577
‎謝謝你，哈里森

432
00:24:36,871 --> 00:24:37,955
‎再說一次我的名字

433
00:24:38,581 --> 00:24:39,707
‎哈里森

434
00:24:42,376 --> 00:24:43,211
‎再說一次

435
00:24:44,587 --> 00:24:45,421
‎哈里森

436
00:25:00,102 --> 00:25:00,937
‎小萊

437
00:25:02,522 --> 00:25:03,356
‎小萊？

438
00:25:04,690 --> 00:25:05,566
‎小萊？

439
00:25:25,628 --> 00:25:29,465
‎我在往返洛杉磯國際機場的
‎40小時路程中發現

440
00:25:30,132 --> 00:25:32,885
‎離開時的我比初相識時更糟糕

441
00:25:34,470 --> 00:25:36,138
‎這違反我的原則

442
00:25:37,265 --> 00:25:38,891
‎沒關係

443
00:25:38,975 --> 00:25:41,894
‎你說過你有男朋友，所以…

444
00:25:41,978 --> 00:25:43,813
‎是啊，我現在還是有

445
00:25:43,896 --> 00:25:45,648
‎他因為時差，正在昏睡

446
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:48,401
‎但我很想再見到你

447
00:25:50,486 --> 00:25:51,612
‎這樣可以嗎？

448
00:25:52,613 --> 00:25:55,199
‎可以，當然了，如果你想的話

449
00:25:56,409 --> 00:25:57,868
‎你想嗎？

450
00:26:04,500 --> 00:26:05,334
‎我想

451
00:26:07,003 --> 00:26:08,462
‎-我想，對
‎-是嗎？

452
00:26:16,679 --> 00:26:18,222
‎那是我的泰式炒河粉

453
00:26:19,849 --> 00:26:21,183
‎應該是我的才對

454
00:26:22,518 --> 00:26:24,145
‎是你來遲了

455
00:27:17,865 --> 00:27:19,700
‎字幕翻譯：李盈盈