1
00:00:24,080 --> 00:00:27,800
It has long been a dream of mine
to open our home to a child.

2
00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:30,840
To a baby. A girl.
The cutest one you've got.

3
00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:33,800
Well, I'd be overjoyed
to have the child in the most need,

4
00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:36,320
whatever the age or drug problem,

5
00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:39,200
but my daughter is quite specific
about wanting a newborn.

6
00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:40,640
One that looks like me.

7
00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:44,240
Are, um, Christian teens
giving their babies away anymore or...

8
00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:46,120
<i>Placing </i>their babies for adoption.

9
00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:47,240
Placing, right.

10
00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:50,600
Because we're so close to Ireland,
so I was hoping that...

11
00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:54,000
You know, like when unmarried teens
would disappear on holiday,

12
00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:56,680
as not to bring shame
upon the Catholic family...

13
00:00:56,760 --> 00:01:00,760
When fallen women were pressurized
into placing their infants for adoption,

14
00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:04,720
with no access to counseling
or appropriate support?

15
00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:06,800
You were hoping that was still the case?

16
00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:09,480
No. Is it?

17
00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:10,440
No.

18
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:13,720
It's not as common
now that mothers face less stigma

19
00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:16,320
and, thankfully,
have far more options available.

20
00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:18,840
Oh, that's... Wow. Excellent news.

21
00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:20,520
Good job. That's great to hear.

22
00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:23,040
So how much for a baby?

23
00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:24,640
Babies cannot be bought.

24
00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:26,880
Well, not in this country, anyway.

25
00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:31,560
Your relationship status says single.
How long have you been single for?

26
00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:33,160
Oh, you don't want to bring that up.

27
00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:35,240
She'll start crying again.

28
00:01:35,320 --> 00:01:38,920
No. I've been separated
from Olive's father since she was a baby

29
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:44,160
and that was my last serious relationship,
so it's been a solid length of time.

30
00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:46,440
That's not true, Mummy. What about Evan?

31
00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:48,360
You moved him in
so that we could be a family

32
00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:51,160
and he broke up with you,
like, two weeks ago?

33
00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:54,480
No.
This decision is not reactionary.

34
00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:56,760
And then you said "Well, I'll show him,"

35
00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:59,680
and went online
and downloaded the application, remember?

36
00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:00,600
No!

37
00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:03,440
This has always been
the path for me. I'm not upset.

38
00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:05,960
She's been <i>so </i>upset.

39
00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:09,840
So, if you could just get us a baby,
it'd really fix things up around here.

40
00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:13,520
I'll be noting a few things
that concern me in our review, Ms. Ryan.

41
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:18,200
I've never seen so much pornographic art
on display at a home visit.

42
00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:20,920
Breasts are practically
a baby's favorite thing.

43
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,360
Another reason not to get us a bigger one.

44
00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:25,920
Also, you keep a lot of animals
in the house.

45
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,520
That can be very dangerous and unsanitary.

46
00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:29,920
There aren't that many.

47
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,360
Yet. But we get more all the time.

48
00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:34,840
No. We're not getting more.

49
00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:37,000
- But you said!
- I didn't say that.

50
00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:39,840
You did.
We were looking at Pomeranians online

51
00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:42,680
and you said, when the puppies were born,
we could get one.

52
00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:44,600
Did I? No. No.

53
00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:46,560
Here you are, lying again.

54
00:02:46,640 --> 00:02:47,840
You lie about sex,

55
00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:51,000
you lie about boyfriends,
you lie about crying and you're lying now.

56
00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:53,080
What else are you lying about?
Tell the truth.

57
00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:54,840
They're not going to give a baby
to a liar!

58
00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:03,800
Thank you so much for your time.

59
00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:06,480
I'm not sure we can recommend you.

60
00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:10,480
As you know, we reached out to Olive's
school as part of the sibling report.

61
00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:12,320
She has some behavioral issues.

62
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:15,080
Olive?
No, there must be some mistake.

63
00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:17,360
I'm afraid she's quite out of control.

64
00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:20,400
Are you in regular communication
with her teachers?

65
00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:23,600
Are you in regular communication
with my dick?

66
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,720
I hope I'm not out of line here,
but fuck you in the face.

67
00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:29,000
My dogs are groomed every two weeks

68
00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:32,360
and I've never seen them look as clean as
they did next to your crusty fingernails.

69
00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:34,640
It's called self-care. Get a manicure.

70
00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:36,480
Adoption was only my last resort anyway,

71
00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:39,000
since sperm donors creep me out
and my ex doesn't trust doctors,

72
00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:41,560
so I tried to bang him for real
and it scared off my boyfriend.

73
00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,680
Yeah. I'm dealing with that.

74
00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:46,480
Then you insult my child and me
in our own home?

75
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,680
So, eat a dick,
I'll stick with the kid I've got

76
00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:51,760
and you can keep
your secondhand crack babies.

77
00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:53,800
Olive is perfect.

78
00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:09,880
"Unless you're a thong,
quit riding my arse crack."

79
00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:12,600
"The smartest thing to ever
come out of your mouth was a penis."

80
00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:15,280
"Your mama's so ugly,
smacking her would be animal abuse."

81
00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:17,240
I must say, it's been a long time

82
00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:20,480
since a "your mama" related incident
has been brought to my attention.

83
00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:24,640
I think Olive and Millie
may have been influenced

84
00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:27,040
to hurl these vile insults
upon the other children.

85
00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:30,160
Perhaps by someone older,
perhaps... at home.

86
00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:32,920
Jane? Are you gonna carry on
with this wholesome facade

87
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,120
or are you gonna tell us
what's really going on at home?

88
00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:36,400
Hang on a minute.

89
00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:38,880
Millie may have a fiery spirit,

90
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:44,440
but I have never heard her use
such sophisticated and hurtful language.

91
00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:48,840
"Your only chance of getting laid
is to crawl up a chicken's butt and wait."

92
00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:52,320
"If laughter's the best medicine,
your face could cure AIDS."

93
00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:55,600
I mean, I was unaware
that Millie even knew about AIDS.

94
00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:57,640
Where could she be getting this?

95
00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:02,280
Excuse me, why am I even here? Olive and
Millie have been hanging around together,

96
00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:04,360
but it wasn't my daughter
saying this shit.

97
00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:07,240
Here's what I think's going on.
This new alliance between the girls

98
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:11,800
seems to have hatched a dynamic whereby
Olive is feeding Millie the lines to say

99
00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:16,440
and taking a supervisory role,
while other children are verbally abused.

100
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:20,160
Do you know whose fault this really is?

101
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:22,640
Jane's. Yeah.

102
00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:26,640
I begged you, Jane, to sort that child out
and then I pushed Olive to be her friend,

103
00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:27,880
just to keep the peace.

104
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:32,040
Ranking the entire classroom
from hottest to thottest

105
00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:33,880
isn't what I would call keeping the peace.

106
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:35,640
- No.
- Thottest?

107
00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:39,120
Yeah. It's an acronym.
"That ho over there." It's a thot.

108
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,480
It's like a thirstier type of slut.

109
00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:45,160
Hottest to thottest!

110
00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:49,600
Oh, shit.

111
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,120
Suspended!

112
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:53,160
Sorry!

113
00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:56,040
When I'm sad, that's private.
You can't tell adoption agents.

114
00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:58,120
And when I make cruel jokes
about the other children,

115
00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:00,120
you can't tell anybody. I trusted you.

116
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:03,480
Hang on. Millie repeated my jokes
and I'm in trouble.

117
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:06,160
But I repeated your jokes,
so shouldn't you be the one in trouble?

118
00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:09,680
No, because I said those at home,
in confidence, and I nailed the delivery.

119
00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:11,440
I only tried to make her laugh
to start with

120
00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:14,240
because you said things would be easier
in school if Millie liked me.

121
00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:18,080
Humiliating me in front of the other
parents and your headmaster is not easier.

122
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,360
How am I supposed to be smug
around them now?

123
00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:23,880
Since when do you care
what those people think anyway?

124
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,000
You're rude and nasty to them
all the time.

125
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:29,480
How could you say that about me?
I'm your best friend.

126
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:31,840
Millie is my best friend.

127
00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,000
Are you drunk? Millie sucks.

128
00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:35,680
- She's fun.
- I am fun!

129
00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:38,480
I've been trying to look after you
all week, trying to make you laugh,

130
00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:41,720
trying to make you smile, and all you
can do is cry about a stupid man.

131
00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:44,400
I am having
an isolated personal crisis, yes,

132
00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:47,240
and you've picked a really inconvenient
time to start misbehaving.

133
00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:50,240
This isn't about you.
Not everything is about you.

134
00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:52,240
Nothing is about me!

135
00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:54,480
- I've made constant sacrifices for you...
- Yes, Mum!

136
00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:56,640
'Cause that's what parents do.
They make sacrifices.

137
00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,120
You don't get a medal for it.

138
00:06:58,200 --> 00:06:59,640
Is that what all parents do?

139
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:03,560
Well, since you have two parents,
wait till your father hears about this.

140
00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,760
Please, there's no need to involve my dad.

141
00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:08,920
You're a strong, independent woman,
who doesn't need a man to back you up.

142
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:11,200
Do you know what it's called
when women use feminism

143
00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:13,000
to manipulate and oppress each other?

144
00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:14,840
White feminism?

145
00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:17,920
Well, yeah,
and it's messed up and it won't work.

146
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,120
We're going to the boat.

147
00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:39,680
What fresh hell?

148
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,640
Hey, that's my kid!

149
00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:44,000
Come aboard, baby!

150
00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:45,800
I want you to meet my lady.

151
00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:48,560
What a gift! Oh, my darlings!

152
00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:50,760
I've been dying to meet you!

153
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:54,840
We've got some great news, princess.

154
00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:57,520
You are gonna have a new stepmum!

155
00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:00,760
- Stepmum?
- What is your name?

156
00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:03,240
You are hilarious, Olive,
just like your daddy said.

157
00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:05,720
This is Cheryl.

158
00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:08,960
Where are her trousers?

159
00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:11,400
I don't know where they are.
Can I get you a drink?

160
00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:14,320
No, sorry, I don't have time
for whatever this is. No offense.

161
00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,280
Shep, we need to have a conversation
about Olive.

162
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:19,040
Of course,
Olive's still my number one girl.

163
00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:21,960
You are such a beautiful father, Sheppy.

164
00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:24,280
Olive was suspended from school today.

165
00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:25,800
Anarchy! Love it.

166
00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:27,920
No! Shep, no.

167
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,880
Anyone who gets Olive in trouble is wrong.

168
00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:32,680
That's what I thought, and then
I had a meeting with her headmaster.

169
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:36,080
Do you know what this is?
We were destined to meet today.

170
00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:38,840
Wow. That is cosmic, babe.

171
00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:43,400
Uh, excuse me? I really need you
to be united with me on this.

172
00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:45,120
You can't possibly think it's acceptable...

173
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:47,160
I think it's unfair of you to blame Olive

174
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:50,520
when what you're really upset about is
the pathetic state of your personal life.

175
00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:52,120
Thank you.

176
00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:55,280
The breakdown of my personal life
is because of you.

177
00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:57,840
You've gotta let me go.

178
00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:00,920
I've moved on, as you can see,
and soon you will too.

179
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,240
I'm here for you, babe,
if you ever wanna talk.

180
00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:05,440
And I'm here for you
if this is a hostage situation.

181
00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:07,600
- Just blink if you're in trouble.
- No, no!

182
00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:09,480
No, I'm a longtime Tru-Séer.

183
00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:14,040
I'm a massive fan. So imagine my surprise
when I pop out to my local butcher's,

184
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,040
as I'm short a few lamb chops
for a dinner party...

185
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:17,360
CherBear eats meat.

186
00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:20,760
And who should I spot in the queue
for some offcuts doing press-ups?

187
00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:23,920
- Shep Knight. Shep Knight.
- Shep Knight. Shep Knight!

188
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,680
I didn't have a date for the dinner party,
so I just...

189
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:29,600
I went out on a limb
and I asked Shep to join me.

190
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:31,960
- We clicked instantly.
- Instantly.

191
00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:36,640
And we figured, why wait? So we popped out
to Cartier this morning. I bought my ring.

192
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:38,760
We're engaged.

193
00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:40,480
What?

194
00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,120
- They're getting married?
- Yeah!

195
00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:45,160
Is this so you don't have to testify
against each other in court?

196
00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:48,600
- Did you two kill somebody?
- Shep proposed on a midnight swim.

197
00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:50,600
You should not get in this water.

198
00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:52,120
Not here, babe!

199
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:53,040
In my pool.

200
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:54,840
You have a pool?

201
00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:57,640
- Girlfriend, <i>we </i>have a pool.
- Yeah!

202
00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:59,080
She's rich?

203
00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:02,640
What is money but a means
by which personal freedom is acquired

204
00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:05,480
- by those who subscribe to the economic...
- No, no.

205
00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:08,760
You do not get to chase away my boyfriend,
who was a doctor by the way.

206
00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:09,800
- Nice.
- Thank you.

207
00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:12,360
And then get to marry a loaded woman
in her underwear.

208
00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:13,720
It's not a competition.

209
00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:16,600
But if it was, you've been annihilated.
Wow.

210
00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:19,520
Why are you doing this?
He doesn't deserve joy.

211
00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:21,520
Fuck! Why do men fail forwards?

212
00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:25,160
This is bullshit. This is misogyny.
Olive! We're going.

213
00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:26,840
Okay, let me just finish these.

214
00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:30,320
Mmm, Dad,
what did you put in this rib sauce?

215
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:31,760
The secret's young duck fat.

216
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:35,360
She seems really hungry. I'm gonna
put some in some foil for you, babe.

217
00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:37,120
Who are you?

218
00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:04,240
She's not at all the sort of woman
I pictured Shep ending up with.

219
00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:05,840
Not inflatable, for a start.

220
00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:09,760
Just give me a ring
when you want Millie to be collected.

221
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:16,960
I'm not gonna be able to ring you
if you're already here.

222
00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:19,640
Oh, yeah!

223
00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:21,200
Do you think they'll even last?

224
00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:23,240
Weirdly, yes, I do.

225
00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:25,000
Ah, so you do believe in love.

226
00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:28,080
No, I believe in Shep
latching onto an older woman with money

227
00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:30,000
and I believe in that woman being mental.

228
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:31,640
You know, I believe in the universe.

229
00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:34,080
That's great, Jane.
I believe in practicality.

230
00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:37,440
Take Evan, for example. Of course,
he was always gonna be a problem.

231
00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:38,520
Sure, I miss him.

232
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:41,480
Especially at night.

233
00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:46,080
The Amish learn to do their own dentistry.
How hard could it be?

234
00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:47,280
I could take online classes.

235
00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:48,440
Oh, babe.

236
00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:50,120
I firmly believe, actually,

237
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:54,000
that our greatest struggles
can also be our guiding lights.

238
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:55,440
You should meme that.

239
00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:58,320
Like, for example, when you sent Brian
those nude images of yourself...

240
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,160
You left me no other choice there, Jane.

241
00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:03,000
Right, yes, and, you know,
to begin with, I was...

242
00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:04,720
...really quite cross.

243
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:09,440
But ultimately, it reminded me
that I've got to keep chasing my man.

244
00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:14,680
I mean, our sex life has been
tremendously more adventurous since then.

245
00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:17,560
Really? What sort of things
are you getting up to then?

246
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:19,200
Oh, no, have this conversation outside.

247
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,600
Bev, I know you're sex-starved,
but I cannot listen to it.

248
00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:23,880
Oh, no, Bev, what's wrong?

249
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:26,000
Tom used to be up for it all the time.

250
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:27,800
Now, he barely wants to touch me.

251
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:30,600
Oh, it's the constant childcare.
It's emasculated him.

252
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:33,040
All right, have you teleported here
from the 1940s?

253
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,040
A man's a man.

254
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,840
Jane. Go sit in the garden.

255
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:39,320
No! She's right. Keeping the home's
been a big change for Tom.

256
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:41,320
Well, why not give him a night out?

257
00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:43,640
Brian and I do loads of stuff
outside the house.

258
00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:45,640
Yeah, but Tom's just always so knackered.

259
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,160
Well, send the boys over to me.
I'll look after them.

260
00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:50,960
Take your man on a date.

261
00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:53,720
Mum?

262
00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:55,640
Can I have an Instagram?

263
00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:57,520
Yep. When you're 18.

264
00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:59,200
But Millie has an Instagram.

265
00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:03,480
Well, Millie, I hope you're uploading
a lot of very clear pictures of your face,

266
00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:06,240
because the Missing Persons division's
gonna need those to find you

267
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,480
when you are lured away
by one of your followers.

268
00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:09,520
Mum!

269
00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:11,280
- What? Could that happen?
- No.

270
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:13,760
Have you ever been a woman
on the internet, Jane?

271
00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:16,360
It's exclusively populated
by Nazis and weirdos.

272
00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:18,680
Well, I'm sorry, Millie,
but you are deleting that account.

273
00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:19,960
No!

274
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:22,360
Millie, stop screaming like that, please.

275
00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:24,880
You stop it, you stupid cow!

276
00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:26,600
Please, Millie!

277
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:28,960
Great, Mum. Thanks a lot. You're so mean.

278
00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:31,680
You see now what I'm up against?

279
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:35,120
Oh, I'm sorry, Greta Thunberg. Maybe
you could rally the nation's teenagers

280
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:38,440
to help you protest against the burning
injustice that you can't have Instagram.

281
00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:41,400
- But what if I just...
- Olive. I said no.

282
00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:45,280
Good for you, darling. Stand strong.

283
00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:50,040
To be honest, Brian has been known
to log in and look at models' feet.

284
00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:54,960
Yeah, he's liked all the pictures
on an account called Hoes' Toes.

285
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:56,080
Hoes' Toes?

286
00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:58,880
- Yeah. Hoes' Toes.
- What did you see on there?

287
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,040
Well, the toes of hoes.

288
00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:11,320
Morty's got all three
of his chosen extracurriculars.

289
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:14,480
Tom, can we talk about something
other than the children for a bit?

290
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,080
Oh, yeah, sure. Sorry.

291
00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:19,040
I'm not wearing any knickers.

292
00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:20,320
Yeah, me neither.

293
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:22,720
I was meant to put a wash on last night,
but I forgot.

294
00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:24,840
I've got clean pants, Tom.

295
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:27,000
I purposely left them off.

296
00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:31,760
I wanted to tell you about it,
so you would be thinking about my fanny.

297
00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:37,720
Oh, my God. Evan's here.

298
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:39,480
Let's go and say hello.

299
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,280
Here, take my photo, so it looks natural.

300
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:04,360
Oh, my God. She's not brought the baby?

301
00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:10,120
There you go.

302
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,800
Since when do we even celebrate
Columbus Day?

303
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:19,600
Since Mummy nearly let a dentist
slip through the net.

304
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:21,800
But I'm not even hungry.

305
00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:24,240
Hey, pretend I said something funny.

306
00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:28,560
Why?

307
00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:31,520
Oh, that's what grown-ups do
late at night in pubs. They laugh.

308
00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:43,440
Oh, there's Tom and Bev. Let's go say hi.

309
00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:53,480
Olive! How cool that you're awake!
And in a pub!

310
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:55,520
Hey, you two!

311
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:57,960
I'm just gonna go over to the bar.

312
00:15:58,360 --> 00:15:59,720
Awesome pajamas, mate.

313
00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:09,560
Oh, hey.

314
00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:12,520
- Hi.
- Oh, no, thank you, I'm not staying.

315
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,720
I just came to see how you're doing.

316
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:17,440
Yeah, I'm doing fine.

317
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:19,320
You can be honest with me.

318
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:20,880
You look distraught.

319
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:22,520
Have you been crying?

320
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:24,840
- Hey! Hope you weren't waiting long.
- Hey. All right.

321
00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:26,720
I ordered your drink.

322
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,480
- Yeah, thanks.
- Your drink?

323
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,080
Tom, I'm gonna need you
to hold my earrings.

324
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:33,840
I might have to get into a scuffle
tonight.

325
00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:36,800
- Are you two here together?
- Oh, I'm Sandra.

326
00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:37,960
Me and Evan work together.

327
00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:43,640
Marry me.

328
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:44,880
- Katherine.
- Okay...

329
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:47,400
I think it's pretty gross
that you started dating again so soon,

330
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:49,400
but luckily I'm a very forgiving person.

331
00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:50,320
Why?

332
00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:52,440
Because you're jealous?

333
00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:55,440
So you thought you'd walk over here,
after not so much as an apology

334
00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:57,520
over the past couple of weeks and what?
I just...

335
00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:00,360
- Just take you back?
- Not take me back.

336
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:02,480
Marry me. Yeah.

337
00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:04,200
This is insulting.

338
00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:06,160
No, it isn't. This is what you wanted.

339
00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:07,720
Not like this.

340
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,240
You don't marry someone on a whim,
because you're lonely.

341
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:11,240
Everything all right?

342
00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:14,680
Yeah. Do you know what? I'm gonna go
and get another one. Thank you.

343
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:18,120
Look...

344
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:19,680
since you left...

345
00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:22,160
things have been unpleasant

346
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:24,840
and I have felt uncomfortable.

347
00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:27,160
So marry me.

348
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:29,960
This is your last chance.

349
00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:33,200
Say yes.

350
00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:37,320
Soon, because Olive has school
in the morning.

351
00:17:38,360 --> 00:17:39,400
Well, you should go home.

352
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:40,800
I'm sorry.

353
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:45,880
That's fine by me, needle dick!

354
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:47,520
- Wow.
- I'm sorry.

355
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:50,240
Your dick is... You know,
you have a really great dick.

356
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:52,840
I just think it's...

357
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,280
...weird that you would
break up with me when I have cancer.

358
00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:58,320
That's too much.

359
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:00,320
I don't appreciate
you stealing from me.

360
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:02,960
A single mother.
He steals from a single mo...

361
00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:07,200
- You done?
- Okay.

362
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:08,760
I'm sorry.

363
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:10,800
It's just, she's really pretty.

364
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:14,240
You and Olive okay to get home
or do you need me to call you a car?

365
00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:16,880
I don't need anything from anyone.

366
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:19,000
Right.

367
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:34,560
Well, that is embarrassing.

368
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,880
I wouldn't say supermodel.

369
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:48,120
She was a supermodel.

370
00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:53,040
The French president and his wife
are here.

371
00:18:57,680 --> 00:18:58,520
Dad!

372
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:00,960
Yeah! Hi, baby.

373
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:03,840
- Can I have an Instagram?
- How many ounces is that?

374
00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:04,840
You're not getting it.

375
00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:08,800
Can you please speak to her about it?
It's an app for posting pictures.

376
00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:09,840
To social media?

377
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:11,240
No way.

378
00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:12,640
The government's dreams came true

379
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:15,640
the day everyone started volunteering
their thoughts. What did I teach you?

380
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:17,160
Stay off grid.

381
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:18,680
That's me baby.

382
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:19,880
You two match.

383
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:23,800
It's adorable, isn't it? I've created
a fusion of our personal styles.

384
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:25,880
It's military meets solvency. Love it.

385
00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:30,280
Grab your things, bumblebee, it's gonna be
an epic first weekend with Mum and Dad!

386
00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:39,520
CherBear, let's call you
something other than "Mum."

387
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,840
- How about Mama Cheryl?
- How about Cheryl?

388
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:43,760
Done!

389
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:45,920
Isn't it wonderful, getting along?

390
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,560
She's a fucking snake, babe.
You can't see it with your pure heart.

391
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:49,680
Sheppy. That's enough.

392
00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:52,480
Now, we have something for you.

393
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:57,040
Teeth whitening gel.

394
00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,640
I'm not threatened.
It makes a lot of sense to me.

395
00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:00,800
What does?

396
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:03,720
You wanting a second baby with Shep.
It's cum.

397
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,680
Oh, my fucking God!

398
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:08,760
Fast hands. Just saved 20 million lives.

399
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:12,040
I want to help you make this baby.
You've got my full support.

400
00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:15,120
I figured the best way was to suction it
into an empty tooth-whitening syringe

401
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:17,160
and you can just, eh, squish it up there.

402
00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:19,400
She's a little genius, my CherBear.

403
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:23,200
- Uh... I don't... I...
- Let me recap.

404
00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:25,640
My lady sucked me off,
got you the seed you wanted.

405
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:28,160
You get another baby
and you get to keep your money.

406
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:31,160
You have everything you wanted.
You still want the baby, right?

407
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:34,600
- I don't have to fuck you?
- No.

408
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:35,760
And I don't have to pay you?

409
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:37,560
- No.
- And I don't have to name the baby

410
00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:39,840
- something stupid?
- Ethos is a powerful choice.

411
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:41,080
All right, Sheppy, shh.

412
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:42,760
Middle name, then.

413
00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:44,480
Ready!

414
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:46,520
Come on, baby.

415
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:50,480
Come on, baby. Let's go!

416
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,480
What's that? A pink booster seat?

417
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:56,560
- Yeah! New Mummy got you that!
- Yeah!

418
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,320
Click it in. You know the rules.

419
00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:01,320
Oh, I'll pop over on Monday
with some more. We'll do lunch.