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Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
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London Stansted
is a smoke-free airport
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and smoking is only permitted...
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..Pass the light.
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Here it is.
Sweet, sweet, sweet.
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Yeah...
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Come through for me.
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Excellent, it's round this way.
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00:02:53,158 --> 00:02:56,825
Hands out by your sides,
away from your waist. Perfect.
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If you make your way down
to my colleague, go down there...
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Just on this side. Thank you.
12
00:03:04,075 --> 00:03:05,533
- Got anything in your pockets?
- Yep.
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00:03:05,575 --> 00:03:07,742
- Any sharp objects?
- This and this.
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Okay.
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..my colleague round there.
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- Ooh, sorry!
- Sorry.
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- Thank you.
- That's all right.
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Oh, sorry!
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- Stand here one second.
- Yep.
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- Do you mind if I search you?
- No. Go ahead.
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Lift your arms.
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Excellent. Come through for me.
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- Okay, you're good to go.
- Yep.
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- Take your things.
- Come forward. Yep.
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- Thanks.
- Feet on the footprints for me.
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Awesome. Next one. Excellent.
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Hands by your side, like in the photo.
Feet on the footprints, please.
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Do you have anything
in your pockets?
29
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Hands by your sides.
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Excellent, stay still.
Into the box for me. Thank you.
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Joseph, got one coming down with shoes.
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00:03:54,575 --> 00:03:57,367
Joseph.
Down to my colleague, please.
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Stand here, sir.
Got anything in your pockets?
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- Sharp objects?
- I have ticket.
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00:04:00,742 --> 00:04:02,742
Got anything in your pockets,
any sharp objects?
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00:04:02,783 --> 00:04:05,408
I, I speak little, little English.
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I have to search you, sir.
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Arms up. Arms out.
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Search.
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00:04:11,117 --> 00:04:14,783
Can you take your shoes off
for me? Take your shoes off. Shoes off.
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00:04:16,033 --> 00:04:17,616
Sorry, guys, come forwards...
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Okay, come on through.
Come forward for me.
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You have to have a search.
Right, arms out...
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No, no, no, no, no, leave your shoes.
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It doesn't matter about your shoes.
Stand here.
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Sir, I've still got an activation.
I'm going to have to call my supervisor.
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00:04:35,242 --> 00:04:37,950
I'm going to have to do a private search.
I'm going to have to do a private search.
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Moj samolot wylatuje,
ja, ja sie spoznie, nie rozumiesz?
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00:04:40,325 --> 00:04:41,992
Moja siostra czeka, prosze...
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- No, no, no.
- Ja, ja, ja musze jechac! Prosze, prosze!
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You don't have to take your shirt off,
sir. You don't have to take...
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Fuck!
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Przepraszam.
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Sorry.
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I've got to search you now, sir.
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No, sir, you don't have to put your arm...
57
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Okay, sir, can you turn around?
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Przepraszam.
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Okay.
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00:05:48,742 --> 00:05:50,075
It's okay.
61
00:05:51,533 --> 00:05:55,700
But his telly's so big, it was like having
the Sahara in the living room.
62
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The technology they've got these days,
it's incredible.
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- It's amazing.
- Oh, I know.
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It's ridiculous. I've been trying to set
my laptop up with my TV for weeks now.
65
00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,325
Well, why do you need
to set your laptop to your TV?
66
00:06:05,367 --> 00:06:07,242
So my daughter
can watch all of her movies
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00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:08,992
and I've also created, like,
a little slide show...
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That's nice.
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..About all of her baby pictures
from birth up until now.
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00:06:13,075 --> 00:06:14,783
So, she's got, like,
the little growth process,
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with, like, her little music
in the background.
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It's just I bought it,
like five or six weeks ago.
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It just won't recognise the device.
I don't know what the hell's going on.
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Yeah, they're getting
more complicated, aren't they?
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- I don't embrace technology well.
- Mm.
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Have you eaten half a cake?
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Yeah!
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Anybody else want to have some of this
cake or am I gonna be a fat bitch?
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- Don't eat carrot cake.
- Joseph, do you want some?
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- Yeah.
- Yeah, I'll have some.
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I wouldn't eat that, mate.
It's toilet, that cake is toilet.
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- What?
- What?!
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Yep, It's absolute toilet.
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- It's a pauper's cake.
- Why are you calling it toilet?
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Carrot cake's a pauper's cake. It's, like,
the shittiest cake you can get, basically.
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- I like it.
- Who, who's birthday is it?
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- Fuck knows.
- Not me.
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Fuck knows.
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Please be aware
that the train doors may close
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30 seconds before departure.
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And that's enough
from you as well, mate.
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I don't want this to escalate, please.
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Sorry.
94
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These are shitter seats than you've got.
95
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They're walking on the top
of the O2 going,
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"I think he might be talking about us,
I think I just heard something."
97
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Putting on gloves, "Yes, I think he is."
98
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"I'm getting some atmosphere now."
99
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So, look.
Do you think I've lost weight?
100
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Is that something...
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Come on!
102
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I'm so hungry!
103
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I've got to that stage where
it's going back on and I'm in denial.
104
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I'm lying to myself about it.
I still weigh myself.
105
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I don't know why
I do this to myself, I'm lying to myself.
106
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I literally, just sort of go,
"That seems fine.
107
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"What's for breakfast?"
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Fuck.
109
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:11,783
- Down here, sir.
- Step on here for me, please, sir.
110
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Anything in your pockets?
Any sharps?
111
00:10:13,408 --> 00:10:15,075
No, just my pen.
112
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Just wait there for me, sir.
Wait there for a second.
113
00:10:19,908 --> 00:10:22,075
Now, look straight ahead
and copy the diagram for me.
114
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Take off your jewellery as well.
115
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Place it in the tray.
116
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Now, when my colleague calls you,
go ahead.
117
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Sir, if you'd like
to come over here, please.
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Madam, come over here, please.
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- Madam...
- Oh, damn.
120
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Thank you.
121
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Thank you.
122
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Thanks.
If you'd like to make your way
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to the gentleman
at the far end there. Please.
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Anything in your pockets?
Any sharps?
125
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Er, got... got my things...
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Feet on the yellow
markings for me...
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I don't... You can have them,
I don't need them.
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- Um, put them in the tray.
- Can you just wait here for a bit?
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00:11:07,950 --> 00:11:09,867
- Anything else?
- Er...
130
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- Wallet? Keys?
- Yes. Wallet. Wallet.
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- On the tray.
- That's bleeding.
132
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Face forward,
face the diagram. Excellent.
133
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I'm going to have to search you, sir.
Is that okay?
134
00:11:20,908 --> 00:11:23,908
Excellent. Like to step off
and hold that side for me.
135
00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:29,992
It's you!
136
00:11:31,492 --> 00:11:33,367
It's you!
137
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- But, how are you?
- I don't know you.
138
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:38,200
Oh! Okay, okay, okay.
139
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But how are you, seriously?
140
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No?
141
00:11:47,742 --> 00:11:51,075
- Do they, do they make you wear that?
- Sorry, sir. Thank you.
142
00:11:53,283 --> 00:11:54,533
Hm?
143
00:11:54,575 --> 00:11:56,950
It's... our uniform.
144
00:11:59,408 --> 00:12:01,325
I'm going to have to use the wand
on you now, sir. Arms up.
145
00:12:01,367 --> 00:12:04,492
The wand?
146
00:12:04,533 --> 00:12:05,992
- It burns.
- It's not burning.
147
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Yeah, eh, that burns!
That burns.
148
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Okay, okay, okay.
149
00:12:14,950 --> 00:12:16,783
Thank you.
Just wait here for a second.
150
00:12:19,533 --> 00:12:21,950
- And again.
- It's not burning you.
151
00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:25,408
You're getting a good reading,
though, aren't you, eh?
152
00:12:25,450 --> 00:12:26,450
Excuse me, sir.
153
00:12:26,492 --> 00:12:29,867
Zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap.
154
00:12:29,908 --> 00:12:31,325
Zap, zap, zap, zap, zap.
155
00:12:31,367 --> 00:12:34,992
Sir, can you keep your feet
on the markings here? Excellent.
156
00:12:36,783 --> 00:12:38,742
Okay,
you can lower your arms now, sir.
157
00:12:38,783 --> 00:12:40,158
- It's all right.
- Don't.
158
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,533
It's all right. It's all right.
It's all right.
159
00:12:42,575 --> 00:12:47,367
I'm, it, it, it's not about people,
it's about the whole fucking cosmos.
160
00:12:47,408 --> 00:12:49,117
Hm? It'll be over soon.
161
00:12:50,325 --> 00:12:51,575
Sir, if you'd like
to just come over there...
162
00:12:51,617 --> 00:12:52,700
Don't...
163
00:12:52,742 --> 00:12:54,533
- put your hands on me.
- It's all right!
164
00:12:54,575 --> 00:12:55,950
God, it's...
165
00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:58,242
It's beautiful. It's beautiful.
166
00:12:58,283 --> 00:13:00,033
It's beautiful. It's beautiful.
167
00:13:00,075 --> 00:13:02,783
Now, listen, I'm gonna...
I'm gonna go now.
168
00:13:02,825 --> 00:13:06,825
I'm gonna... Listen, I'm gonna go now.
And you follow me in 63 seconds.
169
00:13:06,867 --> 00:13:09,742
- Yeah, okay? You follow me.
- You all right, Scott?
170
00:13:09,783 --> 00:13:11,658
- 63 seconds, yeah?
- Yeah, the gentleman there
171
00:13:11,700 --> 00:13:13,742
in the pin-striped suit,
with the bald head.
172
00:13:13,783 --> 00:13:15,492
- 42, now!
- Excuse me, sir.
173
00:13:15,533 --> 00:13:17,742
Run! Come on!
174
00:13:17,783 --> 00:13:20,825
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...
- No, no, no. Ah!
175
00:13:20,867 --> 00:13:22,950
- Calm down. It's okay.
- Come on! Come on!
176
00:13:22,992 --> 00:13:24,575
Calm down, now. Calm down.
177
00:13:24,617 --> 00:13:30,242
Come on! Come on! Come on!
178
00:13:30,283 --> 00:13:33,283
No! No! Argh!
179
00:13:33,325 --> 00:13:36,033
Come on!
What are you waiting for?
180
00:13:36,075 --> 00:13:37,908
Argh! Now!
181
00:13:37,950 --> 00:13:40,075
You grabbing, er,
passenger's bollocks again, Joseph?
182
00:13:42,158 --> 00:13:44,325
What are you waiting for?
183
00:13:44,367 --> 00:13:47,367
- Calm down!
- You let me down!
184
00:13:49,242 --> 00:13:51,075
You!
185
00:13:51,117 --> 00:13:52,992
Come on!
186
00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:20,283
May I have your attention, please?
187
00:14:20,325 --> 00:14:24,242
Closed circuit television
and remote video monitoring is in use.
188
00:14:33,658 --> 00:14:36,783
The fast train
now approaching platform one
189
00:14:36,825 --> 00:14:40,658
does not stop here. Please stand
well back from the platform edge...
190
00:14:58,492 --> 00:15:00,575
Oh, Dad...!
191
00:15:00,617 --> 00:15:03,242
Hey!
192
00:15:03,283 --> 00:15:04,908
Hey, you just hit me in the leg!
193
00:15:06,492 --> 00:15:08,283
Excuse me!
194
00:15:08,325 --> 00:15:09,867
- Don't beep at me.
- Dad.
195
00:15:09,908 --> 00:15:12,117
- No, don't beep at me!
- Dad.
196
00:15:12,158 --> 00:15:14,575
You just drove into me.
197
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:18,283
No! This is on you!
198
00:15:18,325 --> 00:15:19,783
You've just driven into me!
199
00:15:19,825 --> 00:15:21,575
What is wrong with you?!
200
00:15:21,617 --> 00:15:23,533
Are you seriously just going to ignore me?
201
00:15:23,575 --> 00:15:25,158
- Don't look at him!
- Right!
202
00:15:26,825 --> 00:15:28,825
Your mate there,
he's just driven into my leg!
203
00:15:28,867 --> 00:15:30,325
Dad, are you gonna...
204
00:15:31,658 --> 00:15:34,825
You should not be driving!
I've got a photo of you.
205
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:37,242
Dad!
206
00:15:37,283 --> 00:15:39,158
Stupid woman!
207
00:15:41,700 --> 00:15:43,533
Can't drive to save her life.
208
00:15:47,783 --> 00:15:50,117
I thought you were getting the 5:22.
209
00:15:51,908 --> 00:15:53,908
Yeah, I missed it.
210
00:16:43,158 --> 00:16:45,617
Mum?
211
00:16:48,700 --> 00:16:50,450
There's no need to bellow!
212
00:16:54,492 --> 00:16:56,658
You miss your train?
213
00:16:56,700 --> 00:16:58,658
Yeah.
214
00:16:58,700 --> 00:17:00,533
I'm sorry.
215
00:17:01,617 --> 00:17:03,033
Why didn't you call?
216
00:17:04,366 --> 00:17:06,366
My phone died.
217
00:17:10,283 --> 00:17:12,075
Where's he parking?
218
00:17:12,116 --> 00:17:14,116
I don't know.
219
00:17:21,366 --> 00:17:24,700
You get some wear
out of this shirt, do you?
220
00:17:24,741 --> 00:17:26,158
Mm?
221
00:17:30,533 --> 00:17:33,325
I've started moving things out the way.
222
00:17:39,742 --> 00:17:41,742
Shut the door!
223
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:08,200
Too late.
224
00:18:26,450 --> 00:18:28,158
That's heavy, Dad. Let me...
225
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:31,158
Get out the way!
Move, move that box.
226
00:18:33,575 --> 00:18:36,533
- No, not up there, Joseph.
- Right.
227
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:52,492
Outside.
228
00:18:54,450 --> 00:18:56,450
And these!
229
00:19:01,825 --> 00:19:03,825
Right.
230
00:19:07,075 --> 00:19:08,825
Joyce, you're in the way!
231
00:19:08,867 --> 00:19:10,283
How do you expect me to...?
232
00:19:15,075 --> 00:19:16,450
Bloody thing.
233
00:19:16,492 --> 00:19:19,367
Wants to go... in there.
234
00:19:28,533 --> 00:19:30,533
And that goes...
235
00:19:34,450 --> 00:19:37,658
I've got the instructions, Dad.
You've got to remove the transit bolts.
236
00:19:37,700 --> 00:19:39,033
It's the exact same set-up
237
00:19:39,075 --> 00:19:40,783
- for all washing machines!
- Okay.
238
00:19:49,033 --> 00:19:52,242
- I've got a wrench, Dad.
- I don't need a wrench.
239
00:19:54,658 --> 00:19:56,783
It's just I thought you said
you wanted me to help you.
240
00:19:56,825 --> 00:19:59,117
Well, that was your mum's idea.
241
00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:02,908
Oh, bloody hell.
242
00:20:26,700 --> 00:20:29,200
I suppose you had a party...
243
00:20:31,075 --> 00:20:34,075
..with your friends,
on, on your actual birthday, hm?
244
00:20:37,367 --> 00:20:39,575
I took a cake in to work.
245
00:20:43,450 --> 00:20:45,408
It's a tradition.
246
00:20:49,408 --> 00:20:51,742
So, you've, you've already had cake?
247
00:20:55,117 --> 00:20:57,117
Just a carrot cake.
248
00:21:16,575 --> 00:21:19,575
You swallow so loudly, Joseph.
249
00:22:00,075 --> 00:22:02,075
Where'd you park?
250
00:22:06,117 --> 00:22:08,117
- Dad?
- What?
251
00:22:08,158 --> 00:22:09,533
Where'd you park the car?
252
00:22:09,575 --> 00:22:11,825
Oh, just up on Bushmead.
253
00:22:28,533 --> 00:22:31,200
Oh, no!
254
00:22:33,617 --> 00:22:35,700
It was meant to be a surprise.
255
00:22:37,367 --> 00:22:40,575
It'll still be a surprise.
256
00:22:40,617 --> 00:22:42,617
No, it won't.
257
00:22:43,908 --> 00:22:46,242
Go back in, go on!
258
00:22:46,283 --> 00:22:48,783
Go on, go back in and sit down!
259
00:22:58,158 --> 00:23:00,158
Well done.
260
00:23:39,492 --> 00:23:41,533
It's lovely, Mum.
261
00:24:09,033 --> 00:24:11,075
What have you done?!
262
00:24:11,117 --> 00:24:13,908
Jo... No!
Joseph, look stay here.
263
00:24:13,950 --> 00:24:16,367
Don't you get blood on the carpet!
264
00:24:16,408 --> 00:24:17,700
- Come here!
- Joyce!
265
00:24:17,742 --> 00:24:20,075
- Come here! Joseph!
- Joyce, come back!
266
00:24:20,117 --> 00:24:22,617
- Go away and leave.
- Ah, leave him.
267
00:24:22,658 --> 00:24:24,117
Open the door...
268
00:24:24,158 --> 00:24:27,575
- Open the door, Joseph!
- Don't mollycoddle the boy!
269
00:24:27,617 --> 00:24:29,367
Come on, let me in...
270
00:24:29,408 --> 00:24:31,367
- Joseph!
- Aah!
271
00:24:31,408 --> 00:24:33,950
Alan, shut up, you...
272
00:24:33,992 --> 00:24:36,242
Just leave him!
I said leave him!
273
00:24:36,283 --> 00:24:38,825
Open the door!
Open the door, Joseph!
274
00:24:38,867 --> 00:24:41,075
- Joseph, come out of there!
- Don't shout!
275
00:24:41,117 --> 00:24:42,950
You're frightening him!
Leave him!
276
00:24:42,992 --> 00:24:45,033
Frightening him!
What is he, a little girl?
277
00:24:45,075 --> 00:24:47,783
He's my little boy!
278
00:24:47,825 --> 00:24:49,992
- Leave him alone!
- Please!
279
00:24:50,033 --> 00:24:54,242
Alan! Don't go. Don't go.
Joseph, come back!
280
00:24:54,283 --> 00:24:57,158
Don't go out there!
Don't go out there!
281
00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:59,367
Joseph!
282
00:25:45,700 --> 00:25:47,617
What's wrong with your bike?
283
00:25:47,658 --> 00:25:49,283
There's nothing wrong with the bike.
284
00:25:49,325 --> 00:25:51,575
Then what the fuck are you doing?
285
00:25:51,617 --> 00:25:53,658
How is that your business?
286
00:25:53,700 --> 00:25:56,575
You know you block the way in
when you're doing that?
287
00:25:56,617 --> 00:25:57,992
And?
288
00:25:58,033 --> 00:26:00,242
We've all got to fucking walk
around you to get inside.
289
00:26:00,283 --> 00:26:01,908
Listen, mate,
stop fucking whingeing.
290
00:26:01,950 --> 00:26:04,283
- It's anti-social.
- I don't care!
291
00:26:04,325 --> 00:26:08,158
And then, I've got to listen to you
fucking revving it all night long!
292
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:09,992
And I'm tired.
293
00:26:10,033 --> 00:26:11,908
Listen, just go inside
and fucking cry, right?
294
00:26:11,950 --> 00:26:15,158
I'm so fucking tired!
295
00:27:43,992 --> 00:27:45,867
- Hey!
- Oi!
296
00:27:45,908 --> 00:27:47,825
- Fuck's sake!
- Watch what you're doing!
297
00:27:47,867 --> 00:27:49,700
What am I doing?
298
00:27:49,742 --> 00:27:51,325
What you're doing... come here!
299
00:27:51,367 --> 00:27:52,992
You'll fucking kill me!
300
00:27:53,033 --> 00:27:55,283
Oi! Fucking dick!
301
00:28:14,950 --> 00:28:17,408
The next train
to arrive on platform five
302
00:28:17,450 --> 00:28:22,283
will be the 10:34 service
to London Liverpool Street.
303
00:28:22,325 --> 00:28:25,075
Calling at London Liverpool Street only.
304
00:28:25,117 --> 00:28:27,242
This train is made of eight coaches.
305
00:30:33,908 --> 00:30:35,533
Keep coming through.
306
00:30:35,575 --> 00:30:38,408
Come through, please, sir.
307
00:30:38,450 --> 00:30:41,158
- You can go in that queue.
- To your left please, madam.
308
00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:42,742
Sir, do you want to step through?
309
00:30:43,825 --> 00:30:45,533
Come through, madam.
310
00:30:45,575 --> 00:30:47,783
Oh, you wanna come through first?
There you go.
311
00:30:47,825 --> 00:30:51,242
Could you place all liquids, creams
and gels into the plastic bags provided?
312
00:30:51,283 --> 00:30:54,075
Placed outside your hand luggage
in a separate tray for me.
313
00:30:54,117 --> 00:30:56,200
Also jackets and belts off as well...
314
00:30:56,242 --> 00:30:58,492
- Scott.
- Yeah?
315
00:30:58,533 --> 00:31:00,533
Where is Lily today?
316
00:31:01,950 --> 00:31:03,825
- She's off sick.
- What?
317
00:31:03,867 --> 00:31:05,533
She's off sick.
318
00:31:06,617 --> 00:31:09,408
- Why'd you do that to me?
- Do what?
319
00:31:09,450 --> 00:31:10,658
"Mm."
320
00:31:13,450 --> 00:31:15,867
Sorry, can you...?
321
00:31:15,908 --> 00:31:19,325
Place all liquids, creams,
gels in the plastic bags provided.
322
00:31:19,367 --> 00:31:21,992
Placed outside your hand luggage
in a separate tray.
323
00:31:23,242 --> 00:31:26,325
To your left, please, sir.
Yeah, to your left please, madam.
324
00:31:26,367 --> 00:31:27,950
Do you want to step through,
please, madam?
325
00:31:27,992 --> 00:31:29,950
Jackets and belts off for me.
326
00:31:32,700 --> 00:31:34,533
Excuse me, madam.
You're only allowed...
327
00:31:34,575 --> 00:31:37,075
You're either going to have to,
um, leave the items...
328
00:31:37,117 --> 00:31:38,658
No, I..
I.. I don't have time.
329
00:31:38,700 --> 00:31:40,700
I know,
but you're only allowed one,
330
00:31:40,742 --> 00:31:43,742
so you can check one of them in.
Is there anything that you don't need?
331
00:31:43,783 --> 00:31:45,825
Is there anything
that you could throw away?
332
00:31:45,867 --> 00:31:46,950
What's going on, Emre?
333
00:31:46,992 --> 00:31:49,992
This lady's just upset she's got two bags
but it's absolutely fine.
334
00:31:50,033 --> 00:31:52,158
It's all right, Joseph, you can go back.
335
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:54,908
- I'm not upset about this.
- It's okay. It's not worth crying about.
336
00:31:54,950 --> 00:31:56,783
You're only allowed
one bag through.
337
00:31:56,825 --> 00:31:58,908
What have you got, then?
What have you got in here?
338
00:31:58,950 --> 00:32:00,242
Joseph, mate.
339
00:32:00,283 --> 00:32:02,367
- What's this?
- Joseph.
340
00:32:03,825 --> 00:32:06,242
- What is that?
- Joseph, what are you doing?
341
00:32:07,325 --> 00:32:08,742
Mate?
342
00:32:08,783 --> 00:32:10,533
- What is it? It's all fresh.
- Scott.
343
00:32:10,575 --> 00:32:11,825
- It's rose.
- It's rose?
344
00:32:11,867 --> 00:32:14,367
- Well, you need that, put that there.
- Mate, what are you doing?
345
00:32:14,408 --> 00:32:16,408
- Joseph.
- Zip this up.
346
00:32:16,450 --> 00:32:20,658
- Come on.
- Emre, it really... doesn't... matter.
347
00:32:20,700 --> 00:32:21,950
No, it does. It does matter.
348
00:32:21,992 --> 00:32:23,700
Jinaid, get Siobhan.
349
00:32:23,742 --> 00:32:25,658
- Thank you.
- Have a lovely holiday.
350
00:32:25,700 --> 00:32:27,033
Keep coming!
351
00:32:29,367 --> 00:32:30,742
Step up,
pop the tray up for me.
352
00:32:30,783 --> 00:32:32,367
- Excuse me.
- Yes?
353
00:32:32,408 --> 00:32:34,700
Could you put that in the bin, please?
354
00:32:34,742 --> 00:32:37,242
Place all liquids, creams,
gels in the plastic bags provided.
355
00:32:37,283 --> 00:32:38,742
To the left, please, madam.
356
00:32:38,783 --> 00:32:41,950
Any large electrical equipment,
iPads, in a separate tray.
357
00:32:41,992 --> 00:32:44,408
To the right please, sir.
Sir, just step through.
358
00:32:45,700 --> 00:32:48,950
What are you doing?
Scott, are you seeing this?
359
00:32:48,992 --> 00:32:51,075
Joseph, what the fuck is going on?
360
00:32:51,117 --> 00:32:53,033
What you doing? What you doing?
361
00:32:53,075 --> 00:32:54,658
You see that?
362
00:32:59,075 --> 00:33:01,242
Jinaid, what's going on?
363
00:33:02,492 --> 00:33:05,575
He just spat some blood on the floor…
Shut it down, guys.
364
00:33:05,617 --> 00:33:06,992
Joseph, Joseph.
365
00:33:07,033 --> 00:33:09,575
- Shut it down, please.
- Can you come over here, please?
366
00:33:09,617 --> 00:33:11,325
Joseph, can you come over here, please?
367
00:33:11,367 --> 00:33:13,908
Joseph, what are you playing at?
You know the rules, all right?
368
00:33:13,950 --> 00:33:16,617
You don't need me to explain them
to you, right? Can you stay still?
369
00:33:16,658 --> 00:33:18,992
What's happening?
What, you're laughing, are you?
370
00:33:19,033 --> 00:33:21,617
Why you laughing?
371
00:33:21,658 --> 00:33:23,492
- Is this funny?
- I don't fucking know.
372
00:33:23,533 --> 00:33:24,992
Hey! Don't be throwing stuff.
373
00:33:25,033 --> 00:33:27,200
- Woo!
- No, don't be throwing stuff.
374
00:33:27,242 --> 00:33:29,617
He's spraying perfume on himself
like he's in Selfridges.
375
00:33:29,658 --> 00:33:31,117
I dunno what's going on with this geezer.
376
00:33:31,158 --> 00:33:32,700
- So, whose water is that?
- Some geezer.
377
00:33:32,742 --> 00:33:35,908
He's had blood in his mouth, something in
his mouth and he spat it out on the floor.
378
00:33:35,950 --> 00:33:38,617
- Why's it got blood in it?
- I don't know, Siobhan! I don't...
379
00:33:38,658 --> 00:33:40,242
- What you doing?
- Hey! Hey!
380
00:33:40,283 --> 00:33:42,033
What are you doing?
381
00:33:42,075 --> 00:33:44,533
- Get him down now!
- Joseph, get down.
382
00:33:44,575 --> 00:33:48,658
- Have some respect for yourself, yeah?
- Joseph, do you hear me?
383
00:33:48,700 --> 00:33:50,200
You're done, bruv. You're finished.
384
00:33:50,242 --> 00:33:51,825
Police, police. Lane eight, now.
385
00:33:51,867 --> 00:33:53,533
- Calm it down.
- Get him out, Siobhan.
386
00:33:53,575 --> 00:33:55,367
- This is ridiculous!
- Get him out!
387
00:33:55,408 --> 00:33:57,033
Keep on coming through, please.
388
00:33:57,075 --> 00:34:00,367
Calm it down! Calm it down!
Just leave him. Leave him.
389
00:34:51,075 --> 00:34:53,742
It's one stop. Might be two.
390
00:34:53,783 --> 00:34:55,450
No, it's one. It's definitely..
391
00:34:55,492 --> 00:34:56,908
Hey!
392
00:34:58,367 --> 00:35:00,992
Oi!
393
00:35:01,033 --> 00:35:02,742
I've got you on camera, mate.
394
00:35:02,783 --> 00:35:04,783
Hey! You streak of piss.
395
00:35:21,408 --> 00:35:23,783
- Hello?
- Oh, sorry.
396
00:35:28,908 --> 00:35:30,492
Hello?
397
00:35:30,533 --> 00:35:32,825
- Lily.
- Yeah?
398
00:35:32,867 --> 00:35:35,158
It's Joseph.
399
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:36,992
Joseph?
400
00:35:37,033 --> 00:35:38,325
What you doing here?
401
00:35:38,367 --> 00:35:40,533
Yeah, I, I've come to fix your telly.
402
00:35:58,075 --> 00:36:00,075
Lily?
403
00:36:01,908 --> 00:36:04,408
You all right?
404
00:36:04,450 --> 00:36:07,033
- This your laptop?
- Mm-hm.
405
00:36:16,158 --> 00:36:19,033
- Do you want a drink?
- No, thanks.
406
00:36:25,283 --> 00:36:27,950
It come with a cable?
407
00:36:27,992 --> 00:36:29,908
I don't think so.
408
00:36:29,950 --> 00:36:31,742
It, it said it was Bluetooth.
409
00:36:31,783 --> 00:36:34,825
Yeah. Simpler with a cable.
Should have come with one.
410
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:39,367
Seriously? For 600 fucking quid
and I can't even use it?
411
00:36:40,450 --> 00:36:42,867
Better with a cable.
I'll nip out and get one.
412
00:36:42,908 --> 00:36:44,908
- Uh, are you sure?
- Yeah!
413
00:37:06,825 --> 00:37:08,075
Cables.
414
00:37:10,867 --> 00:37:12,408
Cables.
415
00:37:21,867 --> 00:37:23,867
Uh, £4.99, please.
416
00:37:28,867 --> 00:37:31,450
Sorry, mate. It's not working.
417
00:37:31,492 --> 00:37:32,658
Try it again?
418
00:37:35,825 --> 00:37:37,825
- Nah, same again.
- Try again.
419
00:37:40,492 --> 00:37:42,408
Nah,
do you want me to chip and PIN it?
420
00:37:42,450 --> 00:37:44,450
It should work.
421
00:37:46,283 --> 00:37:48,283
PIN in.
422
00:37:50,783 --> 00:37:53,408
Nah. Card error.
423
00:37:54,992 --> 00:37:57,408
There's a supermarket on the corner,
five doors down.
424
00:37:57,450 --> 00:37:59,783
There's an ATM there.
425
00:39:13,408 --> 00:39:14,908
Hey.
426
00:39:14,950 --> 00:39:17,033
Your machine's took my card.
427
00:39:17,075 --> 00:39:20,992
- Pardon?
- Your machine has taken my card.
428
00:39:21,033 --> 00:39:23,200
Ah, you have to contact to your bank.
429
00:39:23,242 --> 00:39:25,242
It's sucked it in.
430
00:39:26,450 --> 00:39:28,325
- It's a rented machine.
- It's sucked in there.
431
00:39:28,367 --> 00:39:31,283
It's a rented machine.
Nothing I can do about it.
432
00:39:31,325 --> 00:39:33,992
- You got the key for there?
- Sorry. Nothing I can do.
433
00:39:34,033 --> 00:39:36,033
You have to contact to your bank,
unfortunately.
434
00:39:36,075 --> 00:39:39,408
- I've got to contact to the bank?
- Best way to do it.
435
00:39:39,450 --> 00:39:41,200
- Best way?
- Yep.
436
00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:44,117
- Have you got the key?
- No, we don't have the key.
437
00:39:44,158 --> 00:39:46,367
You have to contact to the bank.
It's a rented machine.
438
00:39:46,408 --> 00:39:48,742
Nothing I can about it, sir.
439
00:39:48,783 --> 00:39:50,783
There's no way you can open it up?
440
00:39:50,825 --> 00:39:52,783
There's no way.
Nothing I can do about it.
441
00:39:52,825 --> 00:39:55,450
You have to contact
to your bank, unfortunately.
442
00:39:55,492 --> 00:39:57,492
- So sorry.
- I have to go to the bank.
443
00:40:37,742 --> 00:40:41,742
Just look at this first
statement for me. Yes. Yes. Junior.
444
00:40:41,783 --> 00:40:43,700
That's it... down there.
445
00:40:43,742 --> 00:40:46,992
Yeah, this one, here.
It actually says £40 has come out
446
00:40:47,033 --> 00:40:48,908
and it was something
that I didn't authorise.
447
00:40:48,950 --> 00:40:51,158
I spoke to, er, somebody at the bank.
I don't know whether...
448
00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:54,075
- Yes.
- ..and I got repaid it.
449
00:40:54,117 --> 00:40:57,867
Now, this has happened again.
So, can you just...
450
00:40:57,908 --> 00:40:59,742
- Can I help you?
- Hey.
451
00:40:59,783 --> 00:41:01,450
That machine just ate my card.
452
00:41:01,492 --> 00:41:04,325
- Okay. Do you have any ID on you?
- Yeah.
453
00:41:09,700 --> 00:41:12,908
Er, you don't have a passport
or driver's license?
454
00:41:12,950 --> 00:41:14,117
No, I don't drive.
455
00:41:14,158 --> 00:41:18,367
Er, I can't do anything for you
without any proper identification.
456
00:41:18,408 --> 00:41:21,200
They just told me to contact the bank.
457
00:41:21,242 --> 00:41:22,992
- Do you do online banking?
- Yeah.
458
00:41:23,033 --> 00:41:25,575
- Then you can order a new card off there.
- Shall I give you my password?
459
00:41:25,617 --> 00:41:27,408
- Er, no. Only you can do it.
- And my postcode?
460
00:41:27,450 --> 00:41:30,242
- Only you can do it.
- I really just need £4.99 right now.
461
00:41:30,283 --> 00:41:31,575
I'm sorry, sir, I can't do that.
462
00:41:31,617 --> 00:41:33,242
I can give you the password
and the postcode.
463
00:41:33,283 --> 00:41:35,200
I'm afraid I can't do that. Sorry, sir.
464
00:41:35,242 --> 00:41:38,908
We don't accept rail cards,
only passports and driver's licenses.
465
00:41:40,158 --> 00:41:43,242
Woo!
466
00:41:43,283 --> 00:41:45,200
I just... I can't even...
467
00:41:54,325 --> 00:41:55,408
Fuck!
468
00:42:05,700 --> 00:42:06,700
Fuck!
469
00:42:31,408 --> 00:42:34,158
I should fuckin'
run you over next time, mate!
470
00:42:34,200 --> 00:42:36,408
Who the fuck do you think you are, huh?!
Huh?!
471
00:42:36,450 --> 00:42:39,658
Look at me I'm talking to you!
Who the fuck do you think you are?!
472
00:42:39,700 --> 00:42:42,575
You can't fucking walk around like that,
you dickhead!
473
00:42:42,617 --> 00:42:44,617
I'm in a fucking car!
474
00:43:31,408 --> 00:43:33,450
Leave it a few days to a week.
475
00:43:33,492 --> 00:43:34,992
Oh, thank you.
476
00:43:37,033 --> 00:43:39,033
Let us know if it doesn't go in.
477
00:43:49,367 --> 00:43:51,617
- Hi, again.
- Hi.
478
00:43:56,783 --> 00:43:58,575
Hurry up.
479
00:44:02,033 --> 00:44:04,033
Give it to me. Now.
480
00:44:10,242 --> 00:44:12,242
All of it.
481
00:44:17,242 --> 00:44:19,658
- Wait, wait.
- Have you got a bag?
482
00:44:20,950 --> 00:44:22,325
- Hm?
- No.
483
00:44:22,367 --> 00:44:23,992
Fuck.
484
00:44:27,325 --> 00:44:29,325
Hurry up.
485
00:44:32,367 --> 00:44:33,700
Everything.
486
00:44:33,742 --> 00:44:35,783
Is that everything?
487
00:44:35,825 --> 00:44:36,992
- Is that everything?
- Yes.
488
00:44:37,033 --> 00:44:39,033
Shit.
489
00:44:41,950 --> 00:44:43,825
Thank you. Sorry.
490
00:45:25,450 --> 00:45:27,158
Fuck!
491
00:45:38,075 --> 00:45:40,450
- Hey.
- Did the card work okay?
492
00:45:40,492 --> 00:45:43,075
- Yeah. The cable.
- Right.
493
00:45:43,117 --> 00:45:44,908
£4.99.
494
00:45:49,408 --> 00:45:51,158
Woo!
495
00:45:53,283 --> 00:45:55,283
Change.
496
00:46:01,658 --> 00:46:03,617
Two, three, four, five.
497
00:46:03,658 --> 00:46:05,367
- Have you got a bag?
- Yeah.
498
00:46:05,408 --> 00:46:07,742
- £5.01 change.
- Thank you.
499
00:46:07,783 --> 00:46:09,658
Sorry about that.
Hassle, innit?
500
00:46:09,700 --> 00:46:12,867
There you go.
501
00:46:12,908 --> 00:46:14,408
Cheers.
502
00:46:43,367 --> 00:46:45,367
You all right?
503
00:47:42,033 --> 00:47:44,325
That and all, yeah?
504
00:47:44,367 --> 00:47:47,408
Sorry.
505
00:47:47,450 --> 00:47:49,367
£2.99.
506
00:47:55,700 --> 00:47:57,700
Keep the change.
507
00:48:05,117 --> 00:48:07,408
Whoa. Whoa.
508
00:48:09,117 --> 00:48:10,783
Whoa.
509
00:48:11,867 --> 00:48:14,867
Fuck!
510
00:48:35,575 --> 00:48:37,242
- Hey. Hello.
- Hello.
511
00:48:51,325 --> 00:48:52,867
- Hey.
- Sorry. I fell asleep.
512
00:48:52,908 --> 00:48:54,783
I've got the cable.
513
00:49:06,867 --> 00:49:08,117
Have you been running?
514
00:49:08,158 --> 00:49:09,700
- Eh?
- Have you been running?
515
00:49:09,742 --> 00:49:12,492
Yeah.
516
00:49:15,283 --> 00:49:17,242
Right.
517
00:49:25,325 --> 00:49:26,700
Oh, my God.
518
00:49:26,742 --> 00:49:28,450
Right.
519
00:49:29,533 --> 00:49:31,783
Right, and then it goes in here.
520
00:49:35,117 --> 00:49:37,867
- Right. So, press this.
- Good afternoon...
521
00:49:37,908 --> 00:49:40,242
- Mm-hm.
- Scroll up. Up, up, up.
522
00:49:40,283 --> 00:49:42,325
Press that again, then you're there.
523
00:49:42,367 --> 00:49:43,783
- Oh, brilliant.
- Right?
524
00:49:43,825 --> 00:49:46,992
To get back to the telly, press this.
525
00:49:47,033 --> 00:49:49,783
Then you go down.
Down, down, down, down, down.
526
00:49:49,825 --> 00:49:51,658
TV, press that.
527
00:49:51,700 --> 00:49:53,242
Cool.
528
00:49:53,283 --> 00:49:54,742
Woo!
529
00:49:56,867 --> 00:49:59,200
What the fuck are you doing?
530
00:50:01,283 --> 00:50:03,200
Can I have a drink of something?
531
00:50:03,242 --> 00:50:05,575
Course you can.
532
00:50:05,617 --> 00:50:07,700
I got that fake cola shit.
533
00:50:07,742 --> 00:50:10,242
It's disgusting, but...
534
00:50:10,283 --> 00:50:15,033
Katie was lying down the floor in Tesco
screaming and shouting for it so...
535
00:50:15,075 --> 00:50:17,158
- Yeah.
- I thought, "Fuck it, why not?"
536
00:51:56,533 --> 00:51:58,283
Oh, fuck!
537
00:51:59,533 --> 00:52:00,867
Oh!
538
00:52:35,783 --> 00:52:38,492
Fuck.
539
00:53:51,658 --> 00:53:53,033
Pardon me.
540
00:53:54,283 --> 00:53:56,408
Are you off?
541
00:53:59,117 --> 00:54:01,992
Thanks for the cola.
542
00:54:02,033 --> 00:54:04,825
Thank you for fixing my TV.
543
00:54:04,867 --> 00:54:06,450
You're welcome.
544
00:56:40,158 --> 00:56:41,617
Hey, that pen don't work.
545
00:56:41,658 --> 00:56:44,658
Oh, sorry, man. Sorry.
They're useless. Here you go.
546
00:56:44,700 --> 00:56:46,075
How you doing? You all right?
547
00:56:46,117 --> 00:56:48,033
- Mm-hm.
- Good stuff.
548
00:56:48,075 --> 00:56:50,075
- Where you going?
- Vape.
549
00:56:50,117 --> 00:56:51,950
You do know the risks
about vaping, don't you?
550
00:56:51,992 --> 00:56:53,158
Such as?
551
00:56:53,200 --> 00:56:56,700
Well,
it can make you look sort of stupid.
552
00:56:56,742 --> 00:56:59,075
- So stupid?
- Yeah, like really stupid.
553
00:56:59,117 --> 00:57:01,658
- Like, like right now.
- No, no. Not right now.
554
00:57:01,700 --> 00:57:04,325
When you go out there, like...
555
00:57:06,033 --> 00:57:07,783
Whatever.
556
00:57:07,825 --> 00:57:09,825
- See you in a bit.
- See you.
557
00:57:16,575 --> 00:57:18,575
We did that at the same time.
558
00:57:18,617 --> 00:57:20,533
Is that your phone?
I thought that was my phone!
559
00:57:20,575 --> 00:57:22,492
We got the same ringtone!
560
00:57:24,450 --> 00:57:25,742
Sorry.
561
00:57:30,867 --> 00:57:33,742
I've got a gun. Do it.
562
00:57:33,783 --> 00:57:35,992
Don't fuck about.
563
00:57:36,033 --> 00:57:38,575
- Quickly. Hurry up.
- All right.
564
00:57:39,742 --> 00:57:41,867
Wait. Got a bag?
565
00:57:41,908 --> 00:57:44,367
- I don't have a bag.
- That's a bag.
566
00:57:44,408 --> 00:57:46,408
- No, but that...
- Get it.
567
00:57:48,867 --> 00:57:51,200
- Do it now.
- No, it won't... It won't fit.
568
00:57:51,242 --> 00:57:53,283
Well, fucking unpack it.
Unpack it.
569
00:57:55,908 --> 00:57:57,908
Go on!
570
00:58:03,117 --> 00:58:04,533
Come on. Hurry.
571
00:58:06,492 --> 00:58:08,367
Give me all of it. Everything.
572
00:58:08,408 --> 00:58:10,950
That's it. Take it.
573
00:58:14,283 --> 00:58:17,158
That's it.
574
00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:19,283
Hello.
Can I just post that for us.
575
00:58:19,325 --> 00:58:21,200
That one. Come on.
576
00:58:22,408 --> 00:58:25,075
Come on. Fuck. Come on.
577
00:58:34,033 --> 00:58:35,783
- What are you doing?
- Don't move.
578
00:58:35,825 --> 00:58:37,242
What are you doing?
Is he robbing you?!
579
00:58:37,283 --> 00:58:38,742
Oi! Come here, now!
580
00:58:44,325 --> 00:58:45,742
Oi!
581
00:58:47,033 --> 00:58:49,075
Get out. What you doing?
582
00:58:49,117 --> 00:58:50,658
Oi, you little prick!
583
00:58:50,700 --> 00:58:52,825
Oi!
584
00:59:09,408 --> 00:59:10,658
Ha. Ha.
585
00:59:26,242 --> 00:59:28,658
Ha-ha!
586
00:59:31,533 --> 00:59:33,700
Oh!
587
00:59:33,742 --> 00:59:35,033
Fuck.
588
00:59:35,075 --> 00:59:37,408
Fuck it.
589
00:59:37,450 --> 00:59:39,242
Fuck!
590
00:59:39,283 --> 00:59:41,075
Fuck. Fuck!
591
00:59:44,075 --> 00:59:45,908
Fuck!
592
01:00:14,450 --> 01:00:16,408
Fuck! Hey. Hey.
593
01:00:16,450 --> 01:00:20,700
How you going? Yeah? Yeah.
594
01:00:55,450 --> 01:00:56,742
Hey.
595
01:00:56,783 --> 01:00:58,658
- How can I help you, sir?
- You got any rooms?
596
01:00:58,700 --> 01:00:59,992
Um, do you have a reservation?
597
01:01:00,033 --> 01:01:02,033
- No.
- Um...
598
01:01:02,075 --> 01:01:04,825
- it's very busy at the moment.
- Well, have you got anything at all?
599
01:01:06,283 --> 01:01:08,992
We do have
a Superior Double available.
600
01:01:09,033 --> 01:01:10,742
How many nights are you after?
601
01:01:10,783 --> 01:01:11,867
Um...
602
01:01:11,908 --> 01:01:13,450
a week.
603
01:01:13,492 --> 01:01:15,325
Uh...
604
01:01:15,367 --> 01:01:17,825
the Superior Double
is only available tonight.
605
01:01:17,867 --> 01:01:19,783
I'll take it.
606
01:01:19,825 --> 01:01:21,533
Okay!
607
01:01:25,408 --> 01:01:28,450
- That be enough?
- One second, sir.
608
01:01:33,325 --> 01:01:36,450
Place is so fucking clean!
609
01:01:36,492 --> 01:01:38,867
Yeah, it's part
of our Signature Collection.
610
01:01:40,533 --> 01:01:42,658
The Signature Collection?
611
01:01:46,783 --> 01:01:48,783
Signature Collection?
612
01:01:53,325 --> 01:01:55,325
Doors closing.
613
01:07:38,742 --> 01:07:41,617
..raise your glasses, and join me.
614
01:07:41,658 --> 01:07:44,158
The toast is Patrick and Sarah.
615
01:07:44,200 --> 01:07:47,200
Patrick and Sarah.
616
01:07:51,783 --> 01:07:55,117
Ladies and gents, put your hands
together for Hamish, the best man.
617
01:08:02,200 --> 01:08:03,742
Okay. Shut up, you dicks.
618
01:08:06,367 --> 01:08:07,950
Now, then.
619
01:08:07,992 --> 01:08:11,950
People have been
coming up to me all night...
620
01:08:11,992 --> 01:08:16,450
and asking me what precious
little nuggets about... Patrick here...
621
01:08:16,492 --> 01:08:19,367
I'm going to share with you all.
622
01:08:19,407 --> 01:08:20,867
Patrick!
623
01:08:20,907 --> 01:08:22,492
Paddy.
624
01:08:22,532 --> 01:08:24,825
Pat. Pat the twat.
625
01:08:28,367 --> 01:08:31,242
And we've all got
a favourite Patrick story, I reckon,
626
01:08:31,282 --> 01:08:34,950
and there's always enough to go around,
that's for fucking sure.
627
01:08:34,992 --> 01:08:39,075
However... Ellie has made me promise
628
01:08:39,117 --> 01:08:41,950
not to tell the one
about the time Pat shat himself
629
01:08:41,992 --> 01:08:44,532
on Sarah's mum's couch...
630
01:08:44,575 --> 01:08:46,575
after he had a bit of ketamine,
631
01:08:46,617 --> 01:08:48,907
thinking it would help him just chill out!
632
01:08:50,325 --> 01:08:52,617
That didn't work out
too well for you, mate, did it?
633
01:08:52,657 --> 01:08:56,157
Um, excuse me, this is private.
It's a private function.
634
01:08:56,200 --> 01:08:57,742
D'you, er...
635
01:08:57,782 --> 01:08:59,117
Wow. Tough crowd.
636
01:08:59,157 --> 01:09:01,242
You need to have an...
like, an invitation.
637
01:09:01,282 --> 01:09:05,407
Well, I, for one, love your work,
Mrs D. At least know we know...
638
01:09:05,450 --> 01:09:07,867
Uh... Shall I get security?
639
01:09:07,907 --> 01:09:10,950
So, no!
No, no, no, no, no.
640
01:09:10,992 --> 01:09:12,700
I won't be telling that one,
641
01:09:12,742 --> 01:09:15,532
because I told I told Ellie
that I wouldn't
642
01:09:15,575 --> 01:09:19,032
and you've got to listen
to your better half, haven't you?
643
01:09:19,075 --> 01:09:21,907
Bit of a pearl for you, that.
You can have that.
644
01:09:21,950 --> 01:09:23,782
And, you, Sarah...
645
01:09:23,825 --> 01:09:26,782
you can add that to your pearl necklace.
646
01:09:29,282 --> 01:09:32,032
I also think it would be
in very, very poor taste
647
01:09:32,075 --> 01:09:34,325
if I was to mention
the hot intern from work.
648
01:09:34,367 --> 01:09:36,492
Aw, you liked her, didn't you, mate?
649
01:09:36,532 --> 01:09:38,657
- No.
- Yes, you fucking did.
650
01:09:38,700 --> 01:09:41,617
- No, I didn't, mate.
- Hardly stopped talking about her!
651
01:09:41,657 --> 01:09:44,367
Mind you, she was proper fit, though,
to be fair, weren't she?
652
01:09:44,407 --> 01:09:45,700
Eh?
653
01:09:45,742 --> 01:09:48,575
Well, relatively speaking.
654
01:09:48,617 --> 01:09:51,742
No, we all, we all thought
that she was right out of your league,
655
01:09:51,782 --> 01:09:54,950
but, I don't know...
must have had daddy issues.
656
01:09:56,492 --> 01:09:58,992
So, no, so I won't be mentioning her.
657
01:09:59,033 --> 01:10:02,325
And I certainly won't be
bringing up the time that, er...
658
01:10:02,367 --> 01:10:04,867
that Sarah actively encouraged him
659
01:10:04,908 --> 01:10:06,575
to bring the hot intern home...
660
01:10:06,617 --> 01:10:08,325
Hello, who's this?
661
01:10:08,367 --> 01:10:11,783
Hello, mate. Anybody after a Big Issue?
662
01:10:11,825 --> 01:10:13,700
Ah, have you got yourself a bit of bread?
663
01:10:13,742 --> 01:10:16,117
Tell you what, why don't you take
the bit of bread, go back to the buffet,
664
01:10:16,158 --> 01:10:17,658
get yourself a nice bit of chicken,
or something,
665
01:10:17,700 --> 01:10:21,450
and then fuck off out
back to your sleeping bag, yeah?
666
01:10:21,492 --> 01:10:24,367
Seriously, could somebody take him out
before I knock him out?
667
01:10:25,450 --> 01:10:27,533
Fucker... Fuck... Seriously?
668
01:10:27,575 --> 01:10:28,950
Hamish, Hamish, please.
669
01:10:28,992 --> 01:10:31,200
You've got about fucking five seconds
to get out of here
670
01:10:31,242 --> 01:10:33,242
before I punch you in the throat.
671
01:10:40,700 --> 01:10:42,700
We need this!
672
01:10:58,283 --> 01:11:00,283
Erm...
673
01:11:03,658 --> 01:11:05,825
Um.
674
01:11:05,867 --> 01:11:07,575
I'd, er...
675
01:11:07,617 --> 01:11:12,033
I'd like to propose a toast,
to, um, Patrick and Sarah.
676
01:11:13,575 --> 01:11:15,908
Patrick and Sarah!
677
01:11:20,825 --> 01:11:22,908
Are you going to sit down?
678
01:11:22,950 --> 01:11:24,367
Oh, okay!
679
01:11:24,408 --> 01:11:26,617
Um.
680
01:11:26,658 --> 01:11:28,492
Er...
681
01:11:29,575 --> 01:11:31,867
Good. You enjoy that. Definitely.
682
01:11:33,992 --> 01:11:36,200
Yeah. It was... it was great.
I had the, the cheesecake.
683
01:11:36,242 --> 01:11:37,867
You can have mine, if you want.
684
01:11:37,908 --> 01:11:40,200
You can have mine.
685
01:13:14,825 --> 01:13:15,992
Chuck it down, then.
686
01:13:18,367 --> 01:13:20,617
I'm not standing here for my health, am I?
687
01:13:20,658 --> 01:13:22,658
Fuck's sake.
688
01:13:22,700 --> 01:13:23,950
All right, mate?
689
01:13:25,200 --> 01:13:27,200
Here, the police are looking for you.
690
01:13:29,033 --> 01:13:30,533
I told them I didn't know nowt.
691
01:13:33,158 --> 01:13:34,825
What are you fucking doing?
692
01:13:34,867 --> 01:13:37,325
Oi, you little shit, get here!
693
01:13:37,367 --> 01:13:38,367
Oi!
694
01:14:06,117 --> 01:14:07,783
Woo!
695
01:14:19,658 --> 01:14:21,658
Fuck!
696
01:14:24,325 --> 01:14:26,450
You all right?
Just stay there for a minute.
697
01:14:26,492 --> 01:14:28,325
You stay there.
Stay there, okay?
698
01:14:28,367 --> 01:14:30,325
I've gotta look at the car.
Don't worry, Mum. Mum!
699
01:14:30,367 --> 01:14:33,117
Don't worry. Don't worry, all right?
Just stay there for the moment, okay?
700
01:14:33,158 --> 01:14:35,033
Hey,
what the fuck have you done?!
701
01:14:35,075 --> 01:14:37,492
Nothing! He came out
of fucking nowhere! I didn't see him!
702
01:14:37,533 --> 01:14:39,825
Yes, you did see him!
You pulled out too quick, you dickhead!
703
01:14:39,867 --> 01:14:42,950
Oh, yeah, that's right, I saw him
so I pulled out and let him crash into me.
704
01:14:42,992 --> 01:14:45,533
What are you smoking, mate?
What the fuck have you done?
705
01:14:45,575 --> 01:14:46,950
I haven't done anything!
706
01:14:46,992 --> 01:14:49,075
Don't come near me. Fuck off.
707
01:14:49,117 --> 01:14:50,908
Fuck.
708
01:14:50,950 --> 01:14:55,658
- Put your phone away, all right?
- You fucking arsehole!
709
01:14:55,700 --> 01:14:57,908
He came out of nowhere!
I didn't see him!
710
01:14:57,950 --> 01:15:00,117
Why don't you just
fucking leave it? All right?
711
01:15:00,158 --> 01:15:01,533
Oi, oi, oi, oi...
712
01:15:01,575 --> 01:15:04,200
- Get your hands off me!
- How are you doing, man?
713
01:15:04,242 --> 01:15:05,658
Are you all right?
714
01:15:05,700 --> 01:15:09,075
Put your phone away.
Put your phone down. Don't...
715
01:15:09,117 --> 01:15:12,242
Get your hands off me.
Get your hands off me, right?
716
01:15:12,283 --> 01:15:14,950
- Stand over there!
- Seriously, man, don't move.
717
01:15:14,992 --> 01:15:17,492
You don't know
what you've done to yourself.
718
01:15:17,533 --> 01:15:18,658
You could have broken it.
719
01:15:18,700 --> 01:15:22,200
All right. You stand there.
I'll deal with the fucking car, all right.
720
01:15:22,242 --> 01:15:24,158
- Put your phone down.
- Are you okay, man?
721
01:15:24,200 --> 01:15:26,200
Put your phone down!
722
01:15:28,117 --> 01:15:30,700
- You're in shock.
- Oh, fuck off!
723
01:15:30,742 --> 01:15:33,533
You could have...
You could have broken something, mate.
724
01:15:33,575 --> 01:15:36,575
Is that why you're driving like a twat -
you're fucking drunk or something?
725
01:15:36,617 --> 01:15:38,658
I'm not drunk!
I haven't drunk anything.
726
01:15:38,700 --> 01:15:41,867
- I've got an elderly mother...
- Where's John? Where's John?
727
01:15:41,908 --> 01:15:44,742
- Where's John?
- It's okay. Shh.
728
01:15:44,783 --> 01:15:47,533
What are you doing? Oi!
Leave her alone, all right?
729
01:15:47,575 --> 01:15:50,200
Get her back in the car. All right?
Get off her! Get off her!
730
01:15:50,242 --> 01:15:52,867
- Get off her...
- Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi. Ease up.
731
01:15:52,908 --> 01:15:54,783
Mum, get back in the car.
Get in the car.
732
01:15:54,825 --> 01:15:57,408
- Mum, get back in the car.
- I'll sit with you for a little bit.
733
01:15:57,450 --> 01:15:59,075
Don't fucking slam the door in her face.
734
01:15:59,117 --> 01:16:00,575
Don't tell me what to do, you prick!
735
01:16:00,617 --> 01:16:02,408
- Fuck off!
- Just ease up. Ease up.
736
01:16:03,617 --> 01:16:06,325
- Fucking hell!
- Leave off, man!
737
01:16:06,367 --> 01:16:07,867
Ease up, man! Ease up!
738
01:16:07,908 --> 01:16:09,533
Stay there.
Don't you get involved with this.
739
01:16:09,575 --> 01:16:11,283
- Ease up!
- Just calm down.
740
01:16:11,325 --> 01:16:14,450
It's got nothing to do with you!
Ow! Fuckin' hell.
741
01:16:16,367 --> 01:16:17,742
Fuck. Oh!
742
01:16:19,492 --> 01:16:20,658
Fucking laughing at, you prick?
Fuck off.
743
01:16:20,700 --> 01:16:23,117
- Stop. Stop.
- Fuck off. Go away.
744
01:16:23,158 --> 01:16:25,033
- Go away! Fuck off!
- Don't touch me!
745
01:16:25,075 --> 01:16:26,700
- Police.
- Who you ringing?
746
01:16:26,742 --> 01:16:28,033
Who you ringing? Little cunt!
747
01:16:28,075 --> 01:16:30,492
It doesn't matter.
Just calm the fuck down, all right?
748
01:16:30,533 --> 01:16:32,408
I don't need you
getting involved as well!
749
01:16:32,450 --> 01:16:35,075
- Just calm down.
- Who you ringing?
750
01:16:35,117 --> 01:16:38,075
Fucking hell!
Get off me, you creep.
751
01:16:38,117 --> 01:16:40,367
Oh, fuck!
752
01:16:40,408 --> 01:16:42,033
What's wrong with you?
753
01:16:44,617 --> 01:16:47,117
Fuckin' hell! Argh, fuck!
754
01:16:49,158 --> 01:16:51,367
Fuck off.
755
01:16:51,408 --> 01:16:52,908
Shit!
756
01:16:52,950 --> 01:16:54,492
Oh, for fuck's sake!
757
01:16:55,867 --> 01:16:57,075
Eh?
758
01:16:57,117 --> 01:16:59,117
What are you doing?
759
01:17:00,492 --> 01:17:02,742
What you laughing at?
760
01:17:02,783 --> 01:17:05,242
You fuckin' weirdo!
761
01:17:05,283 --> 01:17:06,950
I'll see you later!
762
01:17:06,992 --> 01:17:09,158
Yeah. Fuck off, you nutcase!
763
01:17:13,367 --> 01:17:16,783
You wanna get some help, mate.
764
01:17:16,825 --> 01:17:19,408
Yeah. Yeah. Ha, ha.
765
01:21:34,450 --> 01:21:36,450
Beep, beep.
766
01:22:10,950 --> 01:22:12,617
Mmm.
767
01:22:24,408 --> 01:22:26,408
You know, I think of you...
768
01:22:28,908 --> 01:22:31,075
..first thing when I wake up.
769
01:22:33,367 --> 01:22:35,825
Every day since...
770
01:22:35,867 --> 01:22:37,867
before you were born.
771
01:22:39,992 --> 01:22:41,367
I go...
772
01:22:42,533 --> 01:22:45,783
.."Just keep him safe."
773
01:22:47,992 --> 01:22:49,992
"That's all."
774
01:22:55,200 --> 01:22:57,200
Don't you dare smile.
775
01:22:59,950 --> 01:23:02,742
Not when you let someone
do this to you!
776
01:23:06,325 --> 01:23:08,575
It's okay, Mum.
777
01:23:08,617 --> 01:23:10,742
What, you think this is okay?
778
01:23:14,492 --> 01:23:16,492
It's... just...
779
01:23:17,658 --> 01:23:18,950
It's not important.
780
01:23:18,992 --> 01:23:21,325
Well, it is to me!
It's everything to me!
781
01:23:24,617 --> 01:23:26,617
This is not what...
782
01:23:29,908 --> 01:23:34,200
..a... This is not what a good life
looks like, Joseph.
783
01:23:38,117 --> 01:23:40,158
But I feel so good, Mum.
784
01:23:42,242 --> 01:23:44,242
What does that mean?
785
01:23:44,283 --> 01:23:46,242
I don't understand, Joseph.
786
01:23:46,283 --> 01:23:48,533
Please, tell me. I don't...
787
01:24:01,867 --> 01:24:04,533
The police said you had a gun.
788
01:24:05,742 --> 01:24:07,908
What are you doing?
789
01:24:10,825 --> 01:24:12,742
I don't know.
790
01:24:15,075 --> 01:24:17,742
I thought we'd get a call
telling us you'd shot yourself.
791
01:24:19,950 --> 01:24:22,075
Every time the phone rang.
792
01:24:25,450 --> 01:24:26,950
It's okay, Dad.
793
01:24:28,533 --> 01:24:30,158
I'm good.
794
01:24:34,158 --> 01:24:37,075
You've ruined our lives.
You know that?
795
01:24:40,367 --> 01:24:42,992
He hasn't ruined mine!
796
01:24:48,867 --> 01:24:50,867
You haven't.
797
01:24:55,742 --> 01:24:58,033
You're my sun...
798
01:24:59,992 --> 01:25:01,908
..and moon.
799
01:25:06,908 --> 01:25:08,908
You don't have to...
800
01:25:10,658 --> 01:25:11,867
Dad.
801
01:25:30,992 --> 01:25:32,992
You were laughing in your sleep.
802
01:25:36,950 --> 01:25:39,408
You did that when you was a baby.
803
01:25:42,242 --> 01:25:44,617
And I'd go...
804
01:25:44,658 --> 01:25:46,658
"What's going on in that head?"
805
01:25:49,950 --> 01:25:51,950
What's so funny?
806
01:26:06,908 --> 01:26:09,242
Is Dad phoning the police?
807
01:26:17,658 --> 01:26:19,658
Silly man.
808
01:26:34,325 --> 01:26:36,575
Silly sausage.
809
01:26:58,700 --> 01:27:00,700
Oh, my God.
810
01:27:00,742 --> 01:27:02,742
Oh, my...
811
01:27:18,658 --> 01:27:20,408
Is that your back?
812
01:27:20,450 --> 01:27:21,658
Yeah.
813
01:27:22,867 --> 01:27:24,867
It always does that.
814
01:27:34,783 --> 01:27:36,783
I'll see you soon, okay?
815
01:27:40,408 --> 01:27:42,408
Okay.
816
01:28:21,575 --> 01:28:23,575
- All right, there, fella?
- Hey.
817
01:28:28,033 --> 01:28:30,242
That's all right, mate.
Yeah. Pound, please.
818
01:28:32,325 --> 01:28:34,325
Thank you very much.
Look after yourself, yeah?
819
01:30:56,992 --> 01:30:59,242
Cashier number four, please.
820
01:31:01,825 --> 01:31:03,825
Cashier number six, please.
821
01:31:06,950 --> 01:31:08,450
Hey.
822
01:31:09,825 --> 01:31:11,825
Hi.
823
01:31:20,075 --> 01:31:22,075
Do it.
824
01:31:32,075 --> 01:31:33,450
That's enough.
825
01:31:33,492 --> 01:31:35,867
- Thank you.
- Excuse me? That's enough.
826
01:31:35,908 --> 01:31:38,408
- Thank you.
- Okay.
827
01:33:16,853 --> 01:33:21,853
Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull