Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
Dan.
Dan wake up.
Oh, Dan.
Stop it!
Thank you.
It's not what.
Should've locked the door.
Oh, geez.
Fuck!
Bastard!
Anita.
There you are.
Almost forgot what you look like.
Huggers?
That was rude.
- Smoke inside? - Of course not!
This your home?
- My husband's home. - Husband!
That real?
Yes.
Mother of fuck.
He's well off.
Or his family was.
He's a lecturer.
Adorable.
How long?
Three years, five years together.
No, I mean, how long you been out?
Five years.
Jumped right into it, didn't you?
Kids?
Adorable.
We like to do outdoorsy stuff, okay?
That sounds retarded.
Did you tell him about me?
- Of course! - Liar.
On our first date, I did.
What did he say?
- He was understanding. - Hmm.
And his name is Dan?
Yes!
Dan the man.
- Just Dan! - Just Dan, adorable.
Why are you being so aggressive, darling?
Darling?
- Why- - Because you never call.
The phone works both ways, darling.
Suppose you're right.
Tea?
With scotch in it.
Lovely.
Dan said it's a good one.
It's all the same once it's in your gut.
Now, now, darling, don't sulk.
I should've called, I'm very sorry,
but the important thing is that we are here now, isn't it?
Suppose.
Don't suppose.
Know.
Yeah, I know.
Good.
So, what is it, Catherine?
What's what?
Why did you call me?
Of course.
I caught Dan watching it again.
What's it?
Pook, por...
pornography.
The worst kind of pornography.
He promised me he'd stopped.
He went to counseling.
What good is working on your illegally
libidinous shortcomings if you're not making
a lifetime commitment to destroying them?
It was the middle of the night.
His office door was closed
and there was that glow under the door,
so I went to look through my peephole.
Peephole?
Mm hmm.
He was on his laptop.
And that means?
Dan, of course!
Door closed, laptop on, three in the morning.
But how do you-
Because I just know!
Well, go ahead, just judge away, Anita, judge away.
So what the fuck happened?
What do you mean what happened?
Do I have to spell it out for you?
I caught him watching it again,
and so I stabbed him in the side of the head.
What?
Right into the temporal lobe.
- Is he dead? - Yes!
I imagine he is.
What, you ain't sure?
Well, I mean, if he's not at the moment,
I can't imagine that he'll last much longer.
Where the bloody hell is he?
Upstairs, in the closet.
Like you.
No, not like me.
I'm not in the closet.
He is literally in the closet.
Fucking bambino Jesus Christo!
That's a dead man.
Appears so, doesn't it?
You gave him the death sentence.
Affirmative.
No, I mean, shit.
I mean.
What are you doing?
MJ, gotta do the MJ.
MJ gets my head right.
Would you like a cigarette?
Oh, yeah, that would be fun.
Dan.
Catherine.
Hi.
Sorry.
I'm really sorry I'm so late.
I just arrived myself.
I had this lecture, and it just ran over.
- I would've called- - No apologies necessary.
I absolutely understand.
When I was a student, my long-winded essays
most likely kept teachers late.
Meaning that I get it.
Well, I mean, you know, if your essays
were half as poetic as your emails,
I think that the teachers would delight in their overtime.
Do you bring all of your dates here?
All of my dates.
Ah, no, no.
I don't date very much.
Work is...
I work too much for casual dating,
so, you know, I'm new to all of this,
and, in fact, I have a confession.
What?
I've never been on an online date before.
What?
Nothing.
All right.
Well, I'm not one to interrogate a woman on a first date.
Okay.
I didn't tell you everything online,
but I was very honest in my profile
when I said that I'd never been on a, um.
Been on an online date.
No, not just an online date.
I've never been on a date.
You're kidding.
No.
You've never been on a date?
Never.
What a crime.
Thank you for the compliment.
It's okay.
But it is true.
This is my first time sitting across from a man.
- A man. - In any type
of romantic setting that might lead to romance,
you know, something, if you were to like me.
I need you to go to the store and get a bow saw.
A bow saw?
A pink one, if you can find it.
Hell.
We need to dismember him.
Shit.
Dismember and burn him.
Fuck.
Then hose the place down.
Speaking of, after you go to the bow saw store,
I need you to go to another store
and get some cleaning supplies.
Bin bags, bleach, sponges.
A bow saw at one store.
Cleaning supplies at the other.
To avoid suspicion.
Obviously.
You coming with?
I can't, I'm known in town.
Of course.
But nobody knows me.
Correct.
That's why you called me.
I'm your undercover scummer.
What have you been saying, Mother?
Catherine, my name is Dr. Charmaine Johnson,
and I'd like to ask you a few questions, all right?
By all means, Charmaine.
Do you know why you're here?
Do you blame your mother?
I blame her for ratting on Anita.
Look, I don't cause trouble.
I do all my chores.
A model teenager.
The girl talks to herself.
And you know she hardly eats,
and, when she does eat, she just giggles with Anita,
giggles at the carrots, giggles at the potatoes,
giggles at the whole bloody stew.
- May I? - Talking with Anita,
- giggling with Anita. - May I?
Anita, Anita, Anita, fucking Anita
the past fucking eight years.
May I interject?
Go ahead, Catherine.
- All the children- - Betty-
- In our street- - Give Catherine
room to respond.
Thank you, Charmaine.
I simply don't care what Mother thinks.
My life with Anita is one of balance and dignity.
It's not my fault she's threatened by her.
I'm just happy to spend time with my friend.
Wanna swing on the swings?
Oh, my darling Kit Kat, you are a laughingstock.
I'm not a laughingstock, Mother, and it's Catherine.
Yes, you are, Kit Kat.
I'm not.
I'm special.
And I don't mean special in the way
in which one refers to a retard,
out of some abstract concept of respecting what we pity.
I'm literally special.
Catherine, Detective Reese will be joining us.
Nothing to be afraid of.
Shit!
Oh, dear.
Okay, let's go.
Fuck.
How are you this evening?
Yeah, wonderful.
Yeah.
So, what can I get you?
Red?
What's the nicest red that you have?
For red, I'd recommend-
No!
No, thank you, I just don't drink.
I take things that won't work.
You feel free to drink.
I'm not an alcoholic or anything,
so it's not like I'll salivate
like a hungry rat if I see it.
We're okay, thank you.
You really could have ordered it.
No, no, no.
I agree, I think that it's best
for people to meet under the eyes of sobriety.
Fuck.
It's like welcome to dead house in here.
Tick tock, darling.
Lovely.
Fab.
Good thinking, Anita, we're obviously
gonna need more than one.
Did you hear that?
Did anyone follow you?
What's that?
What?
That.
Fuck, Dan's back from the dead!
Pull yourself together!
Pink!
God.
Need help?
Oh, for the love of...
I got it.
Okay.
Hello, sweetheart.
Nice bow saw.
I'm sorry I'm running late, I had to take a detour,
but I think you're gonna really like it.
Nice cast.
I learned from the best.
Hey, hey.
What was it?
Nothing.
Was it Dan?
Dan the man?
What's wrong?
Nothing.
You are surprisingly good at this, Anita.
Did you ever get over your fear of being touched?
Not the back of the neck.
Did your girlfriends respect your boundaries?
The last one didn't.
She got drunk and grabbed my neck.
And she knew you couldn't be touched there?
And she did it regardless?
Now that you're back, I won't let anybody harm you,
just like the old days.
That's why you called me, right?
Called you?
Yeah, you want me to off her.
Off who?
Your ex-girlfriend.
Catherine.
What?
You called me.
What?
You called me up.
Are you demented?
You called me up.
You called me 'cause you wanted me to help you-
I was in a happy marriage.
I didn't need you showing up
and ruining it all for me again.
Terribly sorry, darling, I don't know what came over me.
Catherine, maybe you should call the police.
Call the police, Catherine.
I'm not going to do that.
You need help.
I'm not calling the police.
Are you fucking crazy?
Crime of passion.
Crime of passion, my ass.
You're funny, Anita.
Now help me bag this bastard up.
Honey, I'm home.
Look at me, Dan.
I bared my soul to you,
every single dark crevice, and you've kept this from me.
I trusted you.
I didn't know how I should-
I want children, Dan.
So do I.
How can we with this history?
What?
What are you talking about?
I am so sorry, I will never, ever, ever, ever do this again.
Please.
You need help.
Do I have to be here for this?
For a girl who loves goosebumps,
you sure are queasy, darling.
You better double-bag it.
Oh, not now.
There are three ways to kill a fish in angling.
One is you cut their throat.
You go in here and cut the blood vessels to the gills.
Or you can hit it on the head, like this.
Or you can brain-spike them here.
I find the brain-spike to be the kindest way
to send them to fishy heaven.
Look away if you're squeamish, princess.
I'm a monster.
He's the monster, if you ask me.
Thank you.
So you're feeling a bit under the weather, eh?
What?
Sick, I mean, are you sick, are you on?
Sick?
Yeah, because you said you're taking,
- that's why you can't. - Oh, because I said
- I was taking- - Yeah.
Yes.
No, I'm not sick.
What?
I was sick.
I'm not anymore.
Okay,
Say that we like each other.
- Uh huh. - And we become a couple.
Oh.
You are on the site because you
want to be in a relationship?
That I am.
Cool, good.
So we both wanna be in relationships.
And once you're in a relationship,
you find out these things about your partner
that maybe they're hiding early on
so as not to scare the other person off
and be left in the dust.
Right?
That is how relationships work, right?
Yes.
Yes, I guess.
What's so funny?
You.
Why are you laughing at me?
Oh, my God, no, no, no, oh, I'm so sorry.
No, I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you.
With me?
I don't understand, I'm not laughing.
I was trying to be honest with you about something personal.
Yeah, yeah.
I think, you know, when someone says
they're laughing with you,
what they're trying to say is they like you.
Oh.
I didn't know that.
Do you like me?
Yeah, yeah.
I think you're very funny
and, yeah, I like you.
Yay.
You like me.
So, anyway, would you like to hear what's wrong with me?
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, yeah, that's exactly right.
I'm completely at a loss.
I know.
Listen, I'm ashamed,
I'm ashamed that I haven't called earlier.
Yeah, well, I thought that I could do it myself.
Yeah, well, I'm feeling pretty scared right now.
Listen, I've tried, but she just won't.
Who are you talking to?
Catherine!
Is that him?
Parts of him.
Did you clean his office?
- Yeah. - Hardwood floors?
- Yeah. - Closet?
- Cleaned. - Good girl.
Now, who the fuck are you talking to, darling?
You asked me here to help.
Do you call that helping?
Seriously, Anita, when did you become so demented?
You know what they'll do to me.
They'll send me back there again,
and, this time, they won't ever let me out.
Is that what you want?
No!
This is batshit crazy, Catherine.
You have a short memory of what that actually is.
Now go and start a fire!
Catherine, I really-
We are not calling the police!
Where the hell were you?
Being grilled by this one.
You've confessed?
Yeah, told them I did everything.
Good girl.
Catherine.
What?
My name is Detective Reese.
I know you've been through a lot tonight.
I know, I'm trying.
Knock it off, Anita.
Catherine, why do you think you're here?
Listen, Detective Reese, my grades
are of the highest merit,
I don't smoke, drink, or take drugs,
and I'm still a virgin, so, please,
tell me where the problem exists.
Now, if you'd be so kind as to let us return home,
Anita and I are writing a novella.
A novella?
That's exciting.
What's it about?
It's about an all-mighty girl
who can change into a zebra
when her human father sneaks into her room at night.
It's based on your family.
Is that okay with you?
Yeah, as long as it makes me look powerful.
Powerful?
You're a god in this.
Okay, I'll do the illustrations.
Its called Zebra Girl.
Once it's published, girls all over the world
will know that they can have zebra powers, too.
How does the story end?
Anita says that, in the end, Zebra Girl
mauls her human father.
She bites off his head and slowly digests it
inside of her acidic, zebra stomach,
and then she shits him out of her soul.
Happy ending.
Did you ever finish it?
Well, our original ideas would have
manifested itself in life.
Dan said it deserved a truly happy ending.
Adorable.
I can't believe you told him about it.
Yeah.
Prince Charming comes along and accepts Zebra Girl
for her wickedly beautiful stripes.
Catherine.
I need to ask you a few more questions about tonight.
You just take your time and answer when you're ready.
How does that sound?
Okay, good.
Now, to the best of your recollection,
walk me through the sequence of events,
beginning with your father entering your bedroom.
Anita and I were playing in our room.
No, we were studying in our room.
19th century literature.
You were studying in your room and?
It's all a bit of a blur.
After we went to sleep,
I found myself reading with Daddy.
I thought I was dreaming.
He likes it when I hold one side of the book
and he holds the other.
Two people that love each other, holding paper.
Anita saw this and she exploded
into a fit of jealous rage.
Catherine.
There you are.
What I'm about to ask you next
may make you uncomfortable.
Don't you think if Daddy were trying to hurt me
that I would've been able to sort it out for myself?
Do you think I'm some internally vulnerable victim?
Well, I'm not that.
Trust me, I'm not the victim.
I told you, I'm Zebra Girl.
Catherine, I only asked to better understand
Anita's intentions.
Detective-
Catherine, there's an examination-
What do you mean by rape examination?
I didn't use those exact words.
I won't take it.
It would only help-
He didn't do anything.
I wish he were still alive.
If I were going to kill anyone, it would have been Mother.
Why?
Because she's a lonely, depressive,
pill-popping, blame-gamer,
and she hates me.
Why?
Because he likes me more than her.
♪ The itsy-bitsy spider ♪
♪ Climbed up the waterspout ♪
♪ Down came the rain ♪
♪ And washed the spider out ♪
♪ Out came the sunshine ♪
♪ And dried up all the rain ♪
♪ So itsy-bitsy spider ♪
♪ Climbed up the spout again ♪
I'm so sorry, Catherine.
When I was 15, I killed my father.
You're that Catherine.
Yes.
Catherine Blick.
Are we ready to order?
No, we're not.
We'll signal you when we're ready to order.
I mean, you were a national story.
Sorry.
Yeah, they never showed your picture.
The court said that because I had the knife waiting,
that it was premeditated.
My mother never believed me.
Hi, sweetheart.
It was a very abusive relationship
between Daddy and Mother, and between her and me.
Most importantly, it was abuse between him and me.
I hate you.
I hate you!
Catherine.
Look at me.
It's okay.
It's all right.
Okay, that's it.
No, I'm sorry.
Listen, Detective,
I suspect Anita will go away for a while,
for years in a juvenile correctional facility.
Good.
She could use it.
By then, she'll be 18,
and she'll be able to start over her life again.
Right?
♪ The itsy-bitsy spider ♪
♪ Climbed up the waterspout ♪
♪ Down came the rain ♪
Were you in adult prison?
What?
Sorry, adult prison.
Prison, no.
I wasn't in there.
I was so lonely when Anita was gone,
and all the neurons were functioning
the way the doctors desired.
I had to go off my medication
just to feel like myself again.
Get off, get off!
Get off me!
Get off me, don't!
This is what happens when you fake swallow, Catherine.
The cycle went on for years.
That's why I was trapped there til I was 26.
I had to care no more.
Thought I'd die a virgin.
Catherine, thank you.
For what?
For your unadulterated honesty.
You're an inspiration.
To who, Jack the Ripper?
You can leave now.
I'll understand.
Leave?
I'm not leaving.
This feels like the beginning
of a never-a-dull-moment romance.
Plus, I'm a square and
you're absolutely stunning.
I am, I am better, for quite some time now.
The medicine really does help.
To leaving the past where it belongs.
Since you're still sitting here,
I suppose it's your turn.
My turn for what?
Your turn to tell me any dirty little secrets
I'd eventually discover two years into our marriage.
Um.
Do you know what he told me his dirty little secret was?
That he liked reality television.
And you believed him?
Wow, that was stupid.
Brave, but stupid.
Stupid is as stupid does.
Look at this one, it's a real beaut.
That is a Gertrude Jekyll rose.
I hide myself within my flower,
that, wearing on your breast,
you, unsuspecting, wear me, too,
and the angels know the rest.
Oh, okay.
Okay, hold on, we're going in the house.
That's it, come on, you're coming with me.
And we're not gonna leave the house for a very long time.
Sorry, Jekyll rose.
Okay, so what if it's a boy?
Then I'll love him forever.
What if it's a breadstick?
Then I'll love it forever.
What a great mom.
Dan.
Mm hmm?
You're good, right?
What do you mean?
Come on, you know.
Catherine.
I'm just being cautious.
You know how much work that I've done, you know.
Wow, wow.
What a way to start a family.
- I just need to be sure. - You wanna see my laptop?
Do you wanna see it?
You can go through it, you can scroll through it.
You can do what you want.
To answer your question, I am good.
I'm good.
Okay.
Sorry.
I just need to be sure.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, too, I'm sorry.
You know I love you so much.
You've just gotta trust me.
I do.
I really do.
So, for example, the Risperidone
you've been on for several years,
is associated with a higher risk
of malformations in the first trimester.
How about after?
After that, the risks increase,
and vary at different stages of your pregnancy.
The stats are based off limited studies, though.
There are newer forms of low dosage antipsychotics
you can try that reduce the risk of side-effects.
Dr. Anto, thank you so much for your time.
Catherine, we should talk about options.
We will.
Let's go, sweetie.
Dan, please, keep me informed of your decision
so that we can monitor her properly.
I will.
Her mental health is just as important as the baby.
We know.
Fuck.
A little you.
When's it popping out?
In six months.
So that's really why you called me.
It could've been so perfect,
if he wasn't such a,
if he wasn't such a pervert.
Lie down with me.
Hey.
How are you doing?
We're alive.
Is she moving yet?
We're always moving.
Why are you so late?
Listen, Catherine, Dr. Anto, she's really-
Shut the fuck up.
Oh, okay, okay.
Please, don't.
It's really important that we start
making our appointments, okay?
How was school?
Yeah, you know, it's the usual.
I've got loads of paperwork to do.
Of course you do, darling.
I'll be up in my office.
Okay.
We're good?
Perfect.
Okay.
Pervert.
Oh, shh.
Catherine, you're burning up.
Did you take your pills?
You told me not to.
Did I?
Nurse!
Help me.
Nurse!
- Catherine, help me. - I'm trying.
Nurse, there's a sick little girl in here!
Nurse!
We're sorting it, zip it.
See, Mommy's here to protect you.
Mommy will always be here to protect you.
Hurry, and lets call Anita.
You know what he's doing, Catherine.
You know he's in there.
You know what you have to do.
I've gone and gotten ourselves into another mess, haven't I?
♪ The itsy-bitsy spider ♪
♪ Climbed up the waterspout ♪
♪ Down came the rain ♪
♪ And washed the spider out ♪
♪ Out came the sunshine ♪
♪ And dried up all the rain ♪
♪ And the itsy-bitsy spider ♪
♪ Climbed up the spout again ♪
Help me.
Daddy.
Hi, Catherine!
Catherine.
Hi, Catherine.
- We're here. - Catherine, help me.
Catherine, help me.
It's not what it.
You are not a victim.
No you're not a victim.
You're not a victim, you're not a victim,
you're not a victim.
- Where are you going? - I need to find Zebra Girl!
- So you did finish it? - Yes.
And with a happy fucking ending.
Where the bloody hell is it?
Got it.
I will show you I'm not a victim, Anita.
Prince Charming accepts Zebra Girl
and they live happily ever after.
What is it?
"For as she had always known,
"a zebra is simply just a painted horse.
"Sometimes you buck the horse,
"sometimes the horse bucks you.
"The end."
The bloody hell does that even mean?
I'll show you what it means.
It means all along, I knew that perverted bastard
was nothing...
Oh my God.
What is it?
Oh, shit.
You're so damn stupid.
Tonight.
I'll be up in my office.
You've just gotta trust me.
I love you.
Catherine!
Catherine, wait!
Keep her safe.
I'm going to protect my little girl.
I'm not going to let anyone hurt her.
Oh my God.
I'll look after her and keep her safe.
You're not gonna be able to do that.
I'm going to love her.
I just wanted a healthy baby.
I'm gonna miss you.
All units are responding.
I'm not alone.
Just one of nature's mistakes.
You ain't no mistake.
You're Zebra Girl.
Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull