2 - Chapter 24...
- Anybody want some coffee? - Oh, I would love some.
- After Connor's girlfriend JoJo left the city
to pursue her reality-show dreams,
Tom and Sarah were doing everything in their power
to make their baby brother feel better.
How we doing, bro? - How you feeling, bud?
- Nope. - Nope what?
- Nope to this whole line of questioning.
- Connor, we just want you to be comfortable--
- Feeling my feelings. Yeah, I know.
How's this? It sucks that JoJo's gone.
I'm sad about it. Feelings felt.
- I'm actually reading a Faulkner biography.
He had a very similar situation to this with his wife, Estelle.
- What part of "nope" didn't you understand?
- Oh, I kind of thought that was more for Sarah.
- Nope.
- Hey, well, what if we all have dinner
at our place next Saturday night, huh?
Kel and Shamiah have sleepovers,
and we never all hang out all together.
- Yes, we do.
That's all we do. We're doing it right now.
- Sorry, Lulu, but Marina and I have plans Saturday night.
It's Marise night.
- It's a combination of our names,
Denise and Marina. Denina.
Marinise? - We'll find it.
- It's a normals' evening
of my and Denise's favorite things.
- Wine, pizza,
"House Hunters" marathon, the dream.
- You guys need to start dreaming bigger.
- Okay, well, uh, what about a siblings' night?
Tom, you free?
- Well, you know, Marina handles all
the scheduling in our house, so I probably can't...
- He's free. - Do it--
I'm free! Oh, awesome.
- Great. Connor?
What do you say, huh? A little post-breakup hang?
- I'll think about it.
- I'll take that noncommittal answer as a yes.
- It's gonna be crunk! - Don't forget you're taking
Camila to dance class the next morning.
- It's gonna be somewhat crunk!
- ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
- Oh! [door opens, closes]
♪ Ain't no party like a "Dunston Checks In" party ♪
♪ 'Cause a "Dunston Checks In" party don't stop ♪
- You still have that?
- Yeah, come on, you can't get rid of this.
It's Connor's second favorite movie
where a monkey wears clothes.
- Wait, didn't you get his text? He's bailing.
- What? - Yeah.
- "Just want to stay in and lay low tonight.
Have fun, fam." Wow.
- You know, he puts up a front,
but I think he's really hurting.
- Won't even leave the house.
What if we went to him?
- Well, we do have all the ingredients for a great party--
awesome siblings... - Check.
- "Dunston Checks In"... - Check.
- Soup. I made soup.
- Party patrol, let's roll.
- Whoo! Let's roll.
- Whoa, how much soup did you make?
- A lot. I made too much soup.
- Have you guys made a decision?
- No, why would they go for that ranch house,
when that gorgeous mid-century is in their price range?
- Seriously, can't they see
you can just convert the garage into an ADU?
Make that income.
- Have fun with your limited counter space, you ding-dongs.
- Should we open another bottle?
- Why are you saying that like it's a question?
- Mommy! I heard her again.
- Oh, it's okay, baby.
- What's going on?
- Oh, Camila, thinks she's been hearing a ghost in her room.
Sometimes our brain plays tricks on us
when we're trying to go to sleep, remember, sweetie?
- But I actually heard her this time.
- You know, I had a ghost in my house when I was little.
- You did? - No, she didn't.
- No, I did.
She would turn lights on and off.
She would move my toys.
JoJo and I named her Moesha because she was
usually very active when we were watching "Moesha."
- What's "Moesha"?
- Oh, we have a lot to talk about.
- Okay, it's time to go to bed, okay, sweetie?
- But I want to hear about Moesha.
- The ghost or the show?
'Cause I can talk about both for hours.
- Like I said, bedtime.
- [screams] Surprise.
- Surprise. - Whoa.
Ooh, yeah. I'm definitely surprised.
- You didn't want to go out, so we decided to come to you.
- Okay, move. This soup is heavy.
- Make room for fun. - Okay.
Um, hey, I-I told you guys
I just wanted to lay low tonight.
I-I texted it. It was in writing.
- Well, with Gretchen at her mom's,
we thought you'd be lonely.
- No, I'm fine. Just didn't feel like hanging.
- Oh, we can just do a quiet night.
Did you make cocktails?
- Wait, have you been smoking a cigar?
[faint music playing]
- Lupe. Yeah, she goes hard on Saturday nights.
- Where's that music coming from?
- Nothing, nowhere, nobody.
[distant laughter] - [laughing]
Well, I mean, it's been nice of you guys to cruise on by
but, uh... [yawns] Oh. Oh, man.
- Okay, well, we'll just take off.
- We'll just leave. - Okay.
- Oh. - Oh, hey!
[laughter]
- Sarah. - Spags?
- Is that split pea soup? - Smoked lentil.
- Hey, how's Camila doing? - Honestly, not great.
Why did you tell her that ghost story?
- Because it happened, we had a ghost--
Moesha Lansbury.
The ghost also liked "Murder, She Wrote."
- Great, well, now Camila
is even more scared of something that isn't real.
- I'm sorry, but how do you know it's not real?
- Oh, I don't know, 'cause of physics
and biology and common sense.
- Okay.
I didn't want to say anything because I know you
don't believe in this stuff, but I have been sensing
a negative energy in this space for a while.
- Yeah, it's called Tom.
- Who owned the house before you bought it?
- I don't know. I forget. Uh, Janet something.
It was a trust sale. - A trust sale.
Okay, that explains it.
[whispering] Janet must've died in this house.
- [whispering] She did die in this house,
and that's why we bought it for such a good price.
[normal voice] Whoop, whoop! - [normal voice] Marina.
The restless spirit of Janet is trapped in this house,
and it is haunting your family. -[gasps]
[gasps, screams]
- You lied to us so that you could hang out
with a bunch of rich guys.
- Is that Mark Cuban in there? - Yes, he's friends with Spags.
- What? - How is that possible?
- I lied because I just want to have a fun, dumb night
with my fun, dumb friends
where we don't have to talk about my feelings.
- I can be fun and dumb. - No, you cannot, Sarah.
All you try to do is get me to talk
and, Tom, all you do is talk.
- What? I hate the sound of my own voice.
- Do you? [cell phone chimes]
- Tom sat pensively on a park bench
watching a red balloon float by.
Okay, that's for work. - Sarah!
I've been looking all over for you.
- I saw you, like, one minute ago, Spags.
- All right, bring it in.
- No. - All right.
- Spags, haven't seen you since the wedding.
How's married life?
- Oh, well, I wouldn't know, as I am divorced.
- Oh. [chuckles] Sorry. That seems...quick.
- Nah, it was, like, the longest 11 months of my life,
but, you know, you can't tame this stallion.
All right, so what are we doing?
Uh, we playing poker or what?
- Oh, well, we would love to, but we weren't exactly invited.
- Specifically not invited.
- Okay, well, I'm inviting you.
I invited Mark Cuban.
- Yeah, uh, quick question--
how the hell did that happen?
- Let's just say when you're the inventor
of Drawer D'Oeuvres, it opens a lot of...
Drawer doors. - Yikes.
- Well, they were just leaving, so...
- Oh, can Sarah stay? Like, I'll pay for your buy-in.
- Oh, that's so generous,
but I can pay for my own buy-in.
- It's $800.
- That would be great. Thank you.
- Let's play some poker! - Let's play some...
both: Poker!
- Okay, you can stay... - [laughs]
- As long as you act a little less you.
- All right. - Okay?
That means do not ask me about my breakup.
Do not ask me about JoJo. - Who's JoJo?
- No correcting grammar.
No lectures on late-stage capitalism.
No pushing your soup. Just be bros.
- I can be bro,
although I don't like that gendered term.
- Sarah.
- Let's drink some brewskis and objectify women, dude.
What?
- Don't worry about me. I can hang with the big boys.
- Don't call them big boys.
You guys are already tanking this.
- Aunt Denise, is that house haunted?
- Oh, no, sweetie. That's a new construction.
Those are rarely haunted...
unless it's on an ancient burial ground.
- Denise, could you come with me to the kitchen?
We'll be right back, okay?
- Wait, can you turn on another light?
- These are all of the lights, honey.
Can you stop talking about ghosts?
Camila is a wreck.
She hasn't asked for Dave since she was six.
- Dave? - Dave is the sloth--keep up.
- Okay, I didn't mean to scare her,
but she is at the age where she's starting
to wonder about the mysteries of the universe.
- Okay, listen to me, okay?
I grew up in a household full of crazy aunties
that actually believed in spirits,
and I don't want to have Camila have to deal with that, too.
- Oh, so I'm a crazy auntie?
- That's not what I meant, okay?
I'm just trying to help Camila. She's terrified.
- Well, I know how to help her, but you won't like it.
- Please don't say an exorcism.
- [laughing] No, don't be ridiculous.
I'm not a priest.
It's a smudging ceremony.
- Uh-uh. Don't like that either.
Also, what is it?
- It's a cleansing ritual
to release spirits out of the home.
JoJo and I did it to get rid of Moesha.
- Did it work?
- Gah, Camila! I got to put a bell on you.
- Did the smudging ceremony get rid of Moesha?
- It did. It released her
and settled her soul. - Oh, boy.
- Mom, can we please do it?
- [sighs] Okay.
We can do the ghost busting.
- Yay. - I'll get supplies.
- Well, it looks like
my brother and sister are going to be joining us.
- Yo, let's play some cards, my dudes.
- Yeah, deal 'em up, chumps. [laughs]
- [laughs]
- So, uh, whose team am I on? - It's not a team game.
- You into poker?
- No, I'm the one billionaire that hates poker.
- [laughs]
- That is my beer. - Sorry, bro.
- Not your beer.
- Okay, so I'll get mine later, bro.
- Is it okay if I just, like, completely wipe these guys out?
- Sooner, the better, Mark Cuban.
- [chuckles]
- Yo, Cuban, how come you haven't been to space?
- Maybe 'cause I have a life.
- Right, totally, totally, yeah.
Well, space must be lame
when you've got a, like...
I want to say hockey team.
- It's a basketball team-- NBA, Dallas Mavericks.
- Right.
- Have you ever played basketball?
- No.
- Have you ever touched a basketball?
- Hey, Connor, you jumping on that HungryMate IPO?
- Oh, you know it, man. - Yeah.
[laughter]
- Yo, tight. Tight. What's HungryMate?
- It runs a network of food-delivery apps, yeah.
Stock price is going wild. - Sick, sick, sick, sick.
How do they feel about, uh, unionizing their gig workers?
- Say what? - [softly] Sarah.
- Um, who cares about that crap?
Labor rights-- that's for poor people, right?
- Oh, my God. - Okay, let's, uh, deal it up.
Let's play some poker.
- It's your turn, Tom. - Oh, okay.
Yeah, I'm out. I got nothing.
- I, uh, raise 100.
- I bet the same. - You call.
- I call who? - No, you--
- Sarah, that's a bad bet. Statistically, there's no way--
- Yes, I knew you were faking.
- Bluffing. - [laughs]
- God, you know nothing about poker.
- I know people. Mark Cuban, I'm a therapist.
So, uh, when someone is hiding something, I know.
Like Terrence here,
uh, he scratches his chin when he's lying.
- I do not.
- [laughing] It's incredible...
just incredible. - Okay.
Very cool stuff.
Let's get this next hand going. Come on.
- So what do you do
when you're not just crushing it at poker?
- Oh, you're gonna love this.
- I--actually, I'm a novelist.
- Seriously?
That's pretty cool.
- [laughs] That's cool.
- For real.
- Oh, he--he's serious?
- Have you read the new Sally Rooney?
- Yeah, it's amazing.
I'm about to start teaching a class at Ashburn College.
I put it on my syllabus.
- Wow, I'm jealous. - [scoffs]
- I thought tonight was just gonna be us bros?
- ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
- I knew you'd have everything we'd need
for our smudging ceremony--
sage, sea salt, crystals.
- Where'd you get these crystals?
- Oh, I keep crystals in my purse.
- Wait, that's my good cooking salt--
Whatever, I hate cooking. - What's the salt for?
- To absorb the bad vibes in the room.
- [chuckles derisively
- Now I need you to close your eyes
and put out a calming energy
for us to connect with our ghost.
Janet, we ask for you to move onward with your journey.
The owners of this home mean you no harm.
Marina, stop texting.
- It's a work thing. - Mom.
- Fine.
- If your communication was an effort to tell us something,
we are open to receiving your message.
- [sighs]
[rustling]
- That's it. I heard her.
- No, baby, I don't think so.
[rustling]
both: Janet.
- You heard that, right? - Yes.
It's probably just the wind. I'm gonna go check it out.
[louder rustling]
- You're not moving. - I'm not?
Am I now?
- You are so right, Sarah.
My whole life I've been chasing money.
Rise, grind, hustle.
What's the point of making bank if I'm not even happy?
- Terrence, you have to decide
if your value is more than a bottom line.
What makes you happy?
- I don't know. I guess...
- Come on, give it to me. Quick, quick.
- Love.
Wow. - There it is.
- That's what we all want, bro-seph.
- I don't think I've ever truly been in love.
- And the game continues. Sarah, you're up.
- So you were published in McSweeney's?
I've been a subscriber since '99.
- Cuban, you gonna call? - Oh, um, no.
I'm actually writing a short story.
It's about my grandmother. She was born in Lithuania...
- Uh-huh. - And, with no money,
got on a boat by herself, came to the United States,
started her own little business.
- So she was an entrepreneur, too.
- She was the first entrepreneur in the family.
- Well, there you go. That's your in.
- I think it's time for me
to call my dad and patch things up.
- I'm so proud of you. Come here.
- Do you want me to spot you, emotionally?
- Yeah. - Mm-hmm.
- It's just about her journey and the challenges--
- Hey, Mark, Mark, lesson number one...
it's about this guy right here, huh?
- You're right.
- You know, I also have emotional problems.
- You don't say? - Hey, where'd Connor go?
- He's out. - But he still has chips left.
- Yeah, that wasn't the problem.
[upbeat electronic music]
♪ ♪
[creepy music]
♪ ♪
[rattling]
- [whispering] You can't hit a ghost with a bat.
- [whispering] It's not a ghost.
- Then what are you swinging at?
[rattling]
- It's getting louder.
- [normal voice] I think it's coming from the ceiling.
- [normal voice] What does that lead to?
- That's a small crawl space.
- A Janet space.
♪ ♪
- Stand back.
♪ ♪
Janet, we're coming in.
- Oh, now you believe in her? - I'm just being polite.
♪ ♪
Huh.
Well...
Maybe it was just our imagination?
[bats screeching, all screaming]
You want to dance?
Let's dance.
[screaming continues]
[alarm beeping]
- So we captured your loose bat,
and we chased out the rest of the bats, too.
- The rest of the bats?
- There were, like, 45 in your attic.
- Oh, you didn't have to count them.
- We don't really have an attic.
It's--it's more of a--of a crawl space.
- Oh, no, I just moved some insulation out of the way.
There's about eight feet of clearance in there.
It's a full attic.
- Seriously? Do you know what this means?
both: Bonus room! [laughter]
- Sorry, we're just huge "House Hunters" fans.
- You mentioned that... a few times.
- Thank you so much.
- Okay, maybe this experience
was Janet showing you the true value of this house?
- No, it was just the bats showing us that they were bats.
- Or Janet led us to the bats.
- Yeah, it was her ghost message.
- And now she's gone.
- You know, I'm gonna miss Janet.
- [chuckles]
- Night, Mom. - Good night.
I guess the smudging ceremony did help her.
She's lucky to have you.
- Oh, so I'm not a crazy auntie?
- Uh, let's just say open-minded.
Look, I'm never going to believe in ghosts
or haunted houses or tarot crystals.
- [laughs] Tarot crystals do not exist.
Oh, but should they?
- I do like having a best friend
that sees the world differently than I do.
- And I like having a best friend
who questions everything.
It's a nice challenge for me.
But you have to admit-- you were spooked by Janet.
- No, I was concerned about an unexplained noise
that was later explained.
- No, you were scared of a ghost.
- I have never been and will never be
scared of a ghost.
Denise, I know that was you.
- That wasn't me.
[gasps]
- By the way, the rats may have chewed through your wires.
- You mean the bats? - No, you also have rats.
Bye.
- Oh. [laughs] - [growls]
- Remember, story comes from character,
not the other way around.
- I'll remember. - All right.
- Thanks for the soup.
Later, Connor. - Later, Mark Cuban.
- Good guy. He's a good guy.
- Wait, so why did you bail on the game?
- Yeah, we were bro-ing out with your bros
just like you wanted-- we didn't talk about JoJo.
We didn't talk about your feelings once.
- Yeah, because you talked
about everybody else's feelings.
Now Terrence is dealing with abandonment issues,
and you made Mark Cuban contemplate a career change.
Mark Cuban!
That's irresponsible, Tom.
- Look, it's not my fault that he's
so deeply interested in my process.
- Everyone talking about their feelings
made me think about my feelings.
I just wanted one night of distraction,
and you guys took that from me.
- I'm sorry, Con. We--we blew it.
We knew you wanted a dumb night.
- That's why we brought a stupid movie like
"Dunston Checks In," but we'll give you your space, okay?
We're sorry.
- Wait, you brought "Dunston Checks In"?
It's my second favorite movie where a monkey wears clothes.
- We know.
- There's that part where Dunston swings
from the chandelier and knocks that lady into the cake.
- Yeah.
Dunston does that.
[soft music]
- I mean, I guess it's still kind of early.
[laughing]
Dunston.
[sighs] This is seriously dumb. Thank you.
- It's our pleasure.
Remind me--what is your favorite movie
with a monkey that wears clothes?
- Some things are meant to remain private, Tom.
- Look at us--
watching late-night movies, just like old times.
- Still gay, still married.
- Right on.
- [laughs, screeches]
- It's game time. Okay, next hand--
Chicago high with a Black Mariah.
Let's double the ante, huh?
- So 50 cents it is.
- Mm, by the way, Lulu, I won $1,500 last night.
- Ooh, your horoscope was right.
- Nope, nothing to do with that.
By the way, the kids are really quiet.
Should we check on them?
- Nah, Lupe's got them under control.
- Okay, I've got two queens.
- Full house. I win again.
- You're bleeding us dry, Lupe.
- You got to know when to hold them,
know when to fold them,
and know when to brush your teeth.
Come on, it's bedtime. [all groan]
[jazzy flourish]