- Chapter 11.
In between work and raising kids,
the Hayworths didn't have much time to get out
and enjoy the finer things.
It's bold, it's playful, a clear rejection
of the modern realist aesthetic.
- Note the use of color and movement.
It really captures the idea of...
being a cat on a spaceship.
- So they settled for a student art show
at the fancy private school
where Connor sent his daughter.
- This is the most brazen display of privilege
that I've ever seen.
But definitely the best wine I've ever had in my life.
- I know, right?
I wonder if I have a ziplock in my bag.
- I mean, it ought to be.
This place costs 40 grand a year.
- $40,000?
That's like the cost of one of those new hybrid minivans
with parking sensors.
Sorry, it's, like, my dream car.
- So in a city that apparently can't afford
counseling jobs like mine,
some parent just coughed up
$600 for a rainbow horsey?
- This place is amazing, right? - Oh, amazing.
- We were just saying that.
- Yeah, it's not at all ridiculous.
- I see you guys are admiring
Gretchen's "Rainbow Horsey."
But you're too late, this bad boy is riding home with me.
- You paid 600 bucks for your own daughter's art?
- $1,200, yeah.
Part of a set with "Sparkle Horsey."
- Mm. - Oh, guys, this is Allison.
She's our headmaster, and she's the best.
- It's so nice seeing all of our Windmount families
raising money for our planetarium.
- I'm surprised that you don't already have one.
- We do, actually, but it still includes Pluto,
so it's basically garbage.
- Wow.
- Oh!
Camila.
Look who it is.
Frida Kahlo. We've talked about her.
She's on those socks I gave you.
- Oh, yeah, eyebrow lady.
- Actually, Frida was more than an eyebrow lady and sock model.
She employed a naive folk art style--
- Thanks, but we know who Frida is.
We're Mexican American.
She's like our Bruce Springsteen.
- How wonderful. Hailey!
Hailey here is in our Spanish immersion program.
- Ah. - Isn't that right, Hailey?
- I guess. - Yeah.
This little girl speaks Spanish too.
- [speaking Spanish]
- [chuckles]
Camila, say something.
- Um, hola.
Ooh, Thor!
Oh!
- Sorry, I just assumed she spoke Spanish.
- No, she does. - Oh, of course.
- No, really, she knows a lot about Mexican culture.
- Oh, this has, like, everyone from Asgard.
There's Odin, Sif, Fandral, Volstagg.
- Someone's pronunciation is really coming along.
- She knows a lot about a lot of cultures.
[upbeat music]
- ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
- "Windmount Planetarium--
reaching for the stars!"
I just wish Mrs. Adams were here to see this.
- Hmm? - She was the old
school counselor until a few months ago.
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- Oh, no, she didn't die. She just snapped.
Yeah, big-time. Full-blown bananas.
- We prefer to say she suffered from mental exhaustion.
- Oh, does that mean that you're looking for someone?
Because Sarah is an amazing counselor.
- What's that, now? - That's true.
She's always giving unsolicited advice.
She does it to me all the time.
- Well, we're considering candidates now.
I'd be happy to look over your CV.
- That would be great. Right, Sarah?
- Oh, uh...
I'm just not sure that this is what I'm looking for.
- Well, if it is, Connor knows where to find me.
Bryce, don't touch the Play-Doh Venus de Milo.
Excuse me.
- Uh, what was that?
- It sounded interesting.
I mean, I'm even tempted.
My school doesn't even have chalkboard erasers.
- Wait, seriously? How do you, like--
- We don't have chalk either, so...doesn't really matter.
- Do you really think that I would be a good fit here?
I mean, there's a hand turkey over there for $800.
- That's a steal.
Couple Thanksgivings, that thing pays for itself.
Not so fast.
- Okay.
- Can you believe it?
Camila didn't recognize Frida Kahlo,
and then she couldn't keep up
with that white girl in Spanish.
She's totally lost touch with her culture.
- If it makes you feel any better, it's not like
she's that plugged in to my culture either.
- What is your culture?
- Scottish? Irish?
It's definitely an "ish."
Although there's an old family story
that we're 1/64 Cherokee. - Yeah.
Your dad needs to stop bringing that up.
- Oh, yeah, Thanksgiving is... so embarrassing.
- You know, Camila had to choose a country
for her school's world festival and she chose Canada.
- That's where Wolverine's from.
- Hey, that's right, sweetie. That's right!
But yeah, no, maybe you want to focus on Mexico?
You have a personal connection there.
- I'm not really that Mexican.
I'm more like you, Dad.
- Does she think I'm Canadian?
I guess I could pass.
- "I'm not really that Mexican"?
What happened?
I used to sing lullabies in Spanish
to her when she was little.
We would watch Cri-Cri together!
[sighs] My parents made a point to teach me about my culture.
If I don't pass that on to Camila,
I am failing them and her.
- Welsh? Maybe I'm Welsh.
Look, what can I do to help?
- It would be great if we could
speak some more Spanish around the house.
- No problemo. Oh, look at that.
I'm already doing it! [laughs]
Though I might be a little rusty.
- You practiced so much when we were dating.
Why'd you stop?
- Well, I asked you to marry me and you said yes.
That's, like, mission accomplished.
You know, what's the point? - Right.
And I stopped pretending to care about "Star Trek."
- You were faking it? Even with "Wrath of Khan"?
- Which one was that? - Which--wow, okay.
I guess our entire marriage is a lie, but, uh,
look, I am going to step it up.
Or as they say in Spanish--
[cell phone chimes] How do you say
"step it up" in Spanish?
- Step it up in Spanish. - Nope, never mind, never mind.
Just undo.
[light music]
[chuckles] - I heard my name.
What's happening?
- Oh, we are speaking more Spanish
because that is our heritage.
Verdad, mi amor? - Sí, Mami.
- Oh! Me mucho gusto, s'il vous plaît.
- That's French.
- Marina, "mucho" is not French.
- Mm, good for you.
There's nothing more important than our heritage.
You know, we Cherokee have this saying--
- Dad! - No.
- Hey, we talked about this. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy.
We're a proud warrior people. - Dad!
- You have got to stop. - And it's still happening.
- Wow, Tom's really all in on this Spanish thing, huh?
- He is.
- He making any sense? - He is not.
- Oh, whoops!
- Congratulations.
- Qué?
- Hey, good news.
You know that job at Gretchen's school?
- The one I said wasn't for me? - I don't think so.
This is the awesome counseling one.
- That's the one. - Doesn't matter.
Point is, I can get you an interview.
- Oh, that'd be fantastic.
Or it's at least worth considering.
- Yep. I can pull some strings.
- Please don't pull any strings.
- But I like pulling strings.
- If there's a string, let him pull it.
- Maybe I don't want him to pull strings.
- But these are such easy strings to pull.
- It's like the strings want to be pulled.
- Okay, no strings, no strings!
This is exactly why I don't want to work there.
That school is full of people who are using their privilege
to get their kids at the head of the line.
And now you are doing the same thing for me.
- And?
- I appreciate it, but no.
- Okay, fine, but for the record,
this is a very bad thank-you.
- What?
I want to work at a public school
where I can do some real good.
I mean, didn't you say that the counselor
at your school was retiring soon?
- That was before her hip replacement.
Now she's walking around like she's 70 again.
Look, being unemployed is taking a toll on you.
This might not be the best job,
but it's the best job right now.
- Okay, maybe you're right.
And we could really use the money.
- Hell yeah, we could.
I'd like to try a name-brand cereal for once.
I'm tired of Rice Kraspies.
- I love you.
- [rolling R] Rapido.
- [rolling R] Rico.
- [rolling R] Really feels like
we're getting the hang of this.
- I think so. I think so, yeah.
- I know it looks ridiculous.
- It does.
- But we are trying to help Camila
stay connected to her Mexican roots, so...
- In this family?
Good luck.
- What does that mean?
- It's like trying to find your car in a snowstorm.
There's just so much white.
[chuckles]
[echoing eerily] White.
- You want to get on the ball, right,
and you want to give it a little wag, wag, wag.
- There must be a higher SPF than 100.
- [distorted laughter]
both: ♪ One, two ♪
♪ Princes kneel before you ♪
♪ That's what I said now ♪
[both vocalizing]
- Denise. - Yes?
- Have you ever thought about how white this family is?
- Oh, I've never stopped thinking about it.
- They're eating macaroni salad out of a bread bowl.
- Careful, guys, it's a little spicy.
- Oh, my God.
I brought the macaroni salad.
The white is coming from inside the house!
Everybody! Escuchenme!
Next weekend, I am going to host
a traditional Mexican dinner.
Okay, vas a una fiesta!
- Yeah.
- Hooray, a theme night!
- Not a theme night.
It is my heritage and my children's heritage.
So I will be making my family's
traditional three-day mole.
- Mmm.
- Whoo! - Yeah!
- Hey, so did Marina suddenly get, like,
good at cooking or something?
- No, that's why we brought the macaroni salad.
We're excited, honey! Looking forward to it!
This could be no bueno.
[light music]
- Hey!
You got the interview all by yourself.
- I did, yes.
I guess you should've trusted me.
Wait, what are you doing here?
- Oh, um...
just dropping off Gretchen.
- It's 1:00 in the afternoon.
- Yeah, right. Picking up Gretchen.
- It's 1:00 in the afternoon. - Okay, fine.
I got here early to wish you luck.
Not that you'll need it. Wink, wink.
- Connor, what's going on? - Nothing.
Just got a real good feeling about this, wink, wink.
- Okay, stop saying "wink, wink."
What did you do? Did you pull those strings?
- No, you told me not to do that,
and I respected that.
- Okay, good.
- But after you got the interview,
I remembered about that sculpture garden
I'd been meaning to donate, and I donated it.
- Connor! - Just greasing the wheel.
- That's the problem, the grease.
It's as bad as the strings.
Now the whole interview is rigged!
- Right? Now you can relax
knowing it's a lock.
They're probably not even interviewing anyone else.
- Sarah, Allison is ready for you.
- Oh, thank you.
A lock, huh?
So I guess there's nothing that I could say
that would blow my chances.
- I don't know where this is going.
- Like telling her what I really think
of this ridiculously entitled school
and everyone in it.
- Sarah, are you seriously saying
that you're gonna tank this interview
just 'cause you're mad at me?
- No, I guess I wouldn't.
Wink, wink. - Sarah, come on.
- Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm!
Ah, of course you have squash courts.
- That's racquetball, but we have both.
I have to say, this is an impressive CV.
- And you're sure that the CV
is the only reason why I'm here?
- Not the only reason. Your references obviously help.
- Right, sure, good old Benjamin Franklin
can be quite persuasive.
- He did publish "The Pennsylvania Gazette"
at only 23 years old.
I mean... - I mean!
- Right? - [laughs]
Allison, how do you sleep at night?
- On my side with a night guard.
I'm a grinder. Why do you ask?
- Just 'cause it would keep me up at night if I took money
that could go to underfunded schools
and instead spent it on shiny toys for the rich,
like a butterfly atrium,
a rock-climbing wall, an espresso bar.
- It's a juice bar.
They're children.
Sarah, did I offend you somehow?
- Yes, when you took a bribe from my brother.
- What? - I want a job,
but I don't want a job that can be bought.
You may have your precious sculpture garden,
but I have my integrity.
So I think you're gonna have to find another candidate.
[knock at door] - Excuse me, Allison.
I wanted to let you know the next candidate is running late.
- Thank you.
- There are other candidates?
- Of course. That's how job interviews work.
- But my brother bought a sculpture garden.
- Yes, and I told him that would not
influence my decision.
And then he said, "I totally get it, wink, wink,"
which was weird. - Oh, my God.
- I'm not some sellout, Sarah.
I also have integrity.
And not that it matters, but by Windmount standards,
your brother is a small fish.
The founders of Pinterest send their kids here,
Aiden and Constance Pinterest, great kids.
- So clearly, I jumped to some conclusions.
So, uh, you did mention a juice bar.
Is that only open to students?
- You should go. - I should go.
- [sniffles] - Cómo estás?
Porque tú...
- [sniffles]
- Crying? - I'm not crying.
I was grinding chilies, and then I touched my eyes,
and now I can't read my abuela's recipe.
- Oh, I'll read it to you. - It's no help.
There are no real measurements.
How much cumin is a "whisper" of cumin?
How much chicken is a "handful"?
- Honey, it's gonna be okay.
- How? I was supposed to give Camila
one authentic Mexican experience,
but the only decorations I could find
are a novelty sombrero from my bachelorette party
and a "People" magazine with Salma Hayek on the cover.
- She was so good in "Fools Rush In."
- Okay.
And this three-day mole has taken me five days,
and honestly, I could use another day or two.
So, honey, tell me, how's this gonna be okay?
- Well, I was just working on a book with Sofía,
and look, she made us pasteles!
- Damn it. Is that what I smell?
I thought I was doing so good.
- Honey, let's just tell everyone that you made it.
I mean, I'm ghostwriting for her.
She might as well ghost-cook for us.
- No, no, pasteles are Puerto Rican!
This whole night is about giving Camila
something that's Mexican.
- Hola, madame et monsieur.
- Ooh, something smells amazing.
- Yeah, we're not having that. - Okay.
- Mom, that's quite an outfit.
- I wore it as Anita in "West Side Story"
at the community playhouse.
- Your performance was caliente.
- Well, it is Mexico night.
- Again, not a theme night. And Anita is Puerto Rican.
Does anyone know the difference?
- Well, she is a fictional character.
- Yes, and you probably
shouldn't have been playing her.
- I know, Anita wasn't the lead.
- And there are the chilies.
- Shall we?
- Well, Lin-Manuel can play Hamilton.
- Hey, Sarah, come on.
- Hi. Hi.
- So you're saying this is my fault?
- I only went off on her because you riled me up.
- Oh, this is just ridiculous.
I clearly said "wink, wink."
Why would I get them a sculpture garden
if they're not gonna respect the "wink, wink"?
- I like sculptures. - Yeah, I know you do, honey.
And I'm so sick of everyone kissing up to the Pinterests.
They're not that great. - Aiden's nice.
- I am so humiliated right now.
I mean, maybe it's for the best.
I clearly don't belong here.
- Hailey, unlock the door, please?
You need to let your nanny take you to dressage.
- Wow, that may be the most privileged sentence
I've ever heard.
- I feel bad for Hailey.
Her parents, like, left her.
- What do you mean?
- You just can't go on a three-month ayahuasca retreat
in the jungle with a kid.
It's irresponsible.
- Miss Allison tries to help, but she's not great at it.
- Hailey.
- I've been...so focused
on planetariums and racquetball that...
I completely forgot that these kids are just kids
and they need help too.
- If only there was someone smart enough to realize that
and try to help get you this job.
- Okay.
- Hailey, it's gonna be okay.
- Uh, hi again.
- Oh, great, you're back. - Yeah, I'm sorry.
I just thought maybe I could-- may I?
- Be my guest.
- Uh, hey, Hailey.
I know that Miss Allison said that everything's
gonna be okay, but I bet it doesn't feel like that.
Sometimes things aren't okay, and...
it's okay to not be okay.
I'm sure that it's really hard having your mom and dad away,
but you can talk to your nanny or Miss Allison.
Or me.
- Who are you?
- Oh, um, I am--I'm not legally affiliated with the school,
but the point is that there's a lot of people
on this side of the door who want to help you.
So you just-- you gotta open the door.
[soft music]
♪ ♪
- Thank you.
- Hey, do you think I could get a do-over
on that interview?
[festive music]
- To Sarah.
She's so employed! - [laughs]
- We always knew you'd get another job.
- Thank you. - Now we can use
the Sarah emergency fund to buy that new boat.
- Aye, aye, Captain. - Yeah.
- I am so proud of you.
You know, part of me thought that you would say something
out of line in the interview and just, like, blow it.
- What? That's--no, of course not.
- Guys, this dinner is really important to Marina, okay?
She put a lot of pressure on herself about it,
so let's please be supportive.
- Yeah, of course. - Okay, everyone!
I hope you're enjoying your margaritas
and the traditional Tamborazo Zacatecano music.
Ah-ha-ha-hi! - Yes, that's my jam.
- And, oh, after dinner-- ay, niños--
we're gonna play La Lotería if I find the cards,
but first, let's eat some mole.
Provecho! - Looks great.
Doesn't it, guys? - Yes. Yeah, yeah.
- Such a unique smell.
So layered. - Okay.
Mmm, delicioso. [laughs]
[crunches] Okay, so I got, like, a--
I got a crunchy piece in there but, like, in a good way.
- Oh, I wish that we could partake, but, you know, vegan.
- Yeah, we would get right up in there,
but, ugh, our darn beliefs.
- I didn't forget about you.
I made a vegan batch with tofu.
- Oh, that is so thoughtful.
- Yay. - Come on, come on.
- Mmm, that is-- it's pretty good.
- [coughs]
Is it supposed to be this chocolatey?
Is it dessert meat?
- Mm, ugh.
Guys, you don't-- you don't have to eat this.
Don't eat it. Turn off the music.
Turn off the music!
- [clears throat]
♪ I like to be in America ♪
- Hey! - Mom.
- ♪ Okay with me in America ♪
- Mom. - Cállate.
- Excuse me.
- Honey.
Sofía Salazar made pasteles. They're on the counter.
- Oh, hell yeah.
- You know, this is like...
Hershey's chicken.
[soft music]
- Oh, hey.
Any chance that's the chilies?
- I failed.
Failed my parents, failed my people,
I failed Camila.
- Look, it's not cultural.
You're just a--
you're a terrible cook.
[both laugh]
- That's sweet of you.
This isn't about the food. It's about everything.
I just-- I stopped making the effort.
Camila was growing up here in an American house
with American friends in an American school.
- Not to mention that I'm extremely white.
- You're so white. - [laughs]
- And I was so tired. I was working, being a mom.
I just let stuff slide.
But my parents, they made such an effort
to try to keep me, you know, connected to my roots.
I just wish I could've passed that on to her.
- Hey, you still can.
- I don't know. What if it's too late?
[baby crying]
- No, no, you know, I'll get it.
[clears throat]
- [sniffles, sighs]
- Hey, come here.
You're gonna want to see this.
- ♪ Los pollitos dicen pio, pio, pio ♪
♪ Cuando tienen hambre ♪
- She remembers the words.
- Come on, of course she does.
You used to sing that to her every night
when she was little.
I think you're passing on more than you know.
- Can I go back out there? Mexican night is fun.
- Obvio.
- Oh, and Grandpa's gonna use the mole to make sundaes.
[upbeat music]
- That might work, actually.
- Muy bien.
I'm sorry, are these actually helpful expressions?
- For you? Sí, very useful.
- Okay, I'm not doing this anymore.
- Okay.