1 00:00:02,263 --> 00:00:04,004 ♪ 2 00:00:29,551 --> 00:00:32,292 We've arrived in the Portelo system, Captain. 3 00:00:32,293 --> 00:00:34,163 Any idea what we're supposed to be doing? 4 00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:36,731 Starfleet was unusually tight-lipped on the details. 5 00:00:36,732 --> 00:00:39,342 The whole mission's classified. 6 00:00:39,343 --> 00:00:40,562 Take us in. 7 00:00:42,738 --> 00:00:44,521 I wonder what the big mystery is. 8 00:00:44,522 --> 00:00:46,654 Ugh, I hope it's not a Romulan Neutral Zone thing. 9 00:00:46,655 --> 00:00:47,829 Spy stuff's so boring. 10 00:00:47,830 --> 00:00:50,005 Uh, ah, ah, man. 11 00:00:50,006 --> 00:00:52,442 Whatever it is, I have to start with holodeck waste removal. 12 00:00:52,443 --> 00:00:53,617 - Blech. - I don't know, 13 00:00:53,618 --> 00:00:54,792 but I can't wait to find out with you. 14 00:00:54,793 --> 00:00:56,881 'Sup, ladies? How's science? 15 00:00:56,882 --> 00:00:59,710 We just catalogued some pretty cool hydrogen samples. 16 00:00:59,711 --> 00:01:02,626 Hydrogen is the most common element in the universe. 17 00:01:02,627 --> 00:01:04,280 Sweet. See you guys at lunch. 18 00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:07,022 Boimler, make sure you shower first. Holodeck duty. 19 00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:09,285 Your odor will be repulsive. 20 00:01:09,286 --> 00:01:11,331 Oh, thank you so much, T'Lyn. 21 00:01:11,332 --> 00:01:12,942 You are welcome. 22 00:01:16,206 --> 00:01:18,033 Oh-ho-ho. 23 00:01:18,034 --> 00:01:20,383 Don't get too used to this kind of work, Mr. Boimler. 24 00:01:20,384 --> 00:01:23,343 Promotions are coming up, and I think you'll be very happy. 25 00:01:23,344 --> 00:01:25,127 Wait, really? I-I... 26 00:01:25,128 --> 00:01:26,998 I'm getting a promotion? 27 00:01:26,999 --> 00:01:28,739 As long as nothing goes sideways today, 28 00:01:28,740 --> 00:01:30,306 you'll be a lieutenant junior grade. 29 00:01:30,307 --> 00:01:32,656 - But stuff always goes sideways. - Relax. 30 00:01:32,657 --> 00:01:34,876 You'd have to screw up in a historically significant way 31 00:01:34,877 --> 00:01:37,183 - to mess this one up. - Okay, yeah. 32 00:01:37,184 --> 00:01:39,621 What are the odds of that? Oh, oh! 33 00:01:40,970 --> 00:01:42,493 Uh... 34 00:01:47,368 --> 00:01:50,283 Approaching the mystery station, Captain. 35 00:01:50,284 --> 00:01:52,154 I hope this isn't a Romulan thing. 36 00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:54,809 - I hate the Neutral Zone. - Right? Thank you. 37 00:01:54,810 --> 00:01:57,246 Sorry for the secrecy, Captain, 38 00:01:57,247 --> 00:01:59,422 but after all these years, we finally finished. 39 00:01:59,423 --> 00:02:02,817 Beljo Tweekle, curator and historian. 40 00:02:02,818 --> 00:02:05,472 Curator? What, are we transporting some type of art? 41 00:02:05,473 --> 00:02:07,343 Perhaps the most beautiful work of art 42 00:02:07,344 --> 00:02:08,824 in Starfleet history. 43 00:02:13,698 --> 00:02:17,005 Oh, my God, we get to do something on Voyager? 44 00:02:17,006 --> 00:02:20,140 Uh, you know, 'cause, I mean, Boimler's gonna flip. 45 00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:28,365 ♪ 46 00:02:57,438 --> 00:02:59,440 ♪ 47 00:03:29,034 --> 00:03:31,036 ♪ 48 00:03:35,519 --> 00:03:40,044 Captain's log, stardate 58724.. 49 00:03:40,045 --> 00:03:42,090 In a pleasant surprise, the Cerritos has been tasked 50 00:03:42,091 --> 00:03:45,528 with transporting the USS Voyager. 51 00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:48,270 Captain Janeway and her crew spent seven years 52 00:03:48,271 --> 00:03:50,403 trying to get home from the Delta Quadrant, 53 00:03:50,404 --> 00:03:54,320 and they became Federation history in the process. 54 00:03:54,321 --> 00:03:57,018 Since their return, Voyager has been decommissioned 55 00:03:57,019 --> 00:04:00,064 and preserved for future generations. 56 00:04:00,065 --> 00:04:02,458 Her first stop is Starfleet Command, 57 00:04:02,459 --> 00:04:03,938 where she'll spend some time on the ground 58 00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:05,505 before being permanently 59 00:04:05,506 --> 00:04:07,028 stationed in orbit. 60 00:04:07,029 --> 00:04:08,812 Careful. 61 00:04:08,813 --> 00:04:10,466 That's a mission-worn uniform. 62 00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:13,643 My legacy depends on everything making it to Earth 63 00:04:13,644 --> 00:04:15,341 in pristine condition. 64 00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:17,821 Unzak, when he guided the florkas to their roost. 65 00:04:17,822 --> 00:04:20,520 Whatever. Just don't touch anything. 66 00:04:20,521 --> 00:04:22,478 - Oopsie-doodle. - What are you doing? 67 00:04:22,479 --> 00:04:24,611 Just taking a peek at the bio-neural circuitry. 68 00:04:24,612 --> 00:04:26,308 One time, Neelix had this cheese, 69 00:04:26,309 --> 00:04:27,657 and the bacteria almost destroyed... 70 00:04:27,658 --> 00:04:29,790 I know all about the Neelix cheese. 71 00:04:29,791 --> 00:04:31,618 There's a whole display for it on Deck Seven. 72 00:04:31,619 --> 00:04:33,184 Don't open panels. 73 00:04:33,185 --> 00:04:35,012 The ship was damaged by cheese? 74 00:04:35,013 --> 00:04:37,581 It's Voyager. Shit got freaky. 75 00:04:39,844 --> 00:04:42,803 Hmm. This ship is outdated and smells like Borg. 76 00:04:42,804 --> 00:04:44,544 What about Tuvok? 77 00:04:44,545 --> 00:04:46,023 You must be excited to see his quarters. 78 00:04:46,024 --> 00:04:47,938 Perhaps. Are they austere? 79 00:04:47,939 --> 00:04:50,941 These boxes are for a rotating exhibit. 80 00:04:50,942 --> 00:04:54,597 Store them on the Cerritos, and please be careful. 81 00:04:54,598 --> 00:04:57,122 Are you chewing gum? 82 00:04:58,210 --> 00:04:59,733 Ooh, after this, you want to get 83 00:04:59,734 --> 00:05:02,126 a head start on tomorrow's titrations with me? 84 00:05:02,127 --> 00:05:04,346 We can label the test tubes. 85 00:05:04,347 --> 00:05:06,306 I do enjoy an accurate label. 86 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:13,965 ♪ 87 00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:20,754 There we go, all calibrated. 88 00:05:20,755 --> 00:05:22,886 Hey, Doc, uh, want a ride back? 89 00:05:22,887 --> 00:05:24,324 Beats taking a shuttle. 90 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,674 You know, growing up, I had a dragon named Fiddlesticks. 91 00:05:27,675 --> 00:05:29,066 He was such a good boy. 92 00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:30,633 He protected me from all sorts of affectionate... 93 00:05:30,634 --> 00:05:32,287 Oh fuck! Why is it people 94 00:05:32,288 --> 00:05:34,594 always have to tell me about their fuckin' pets? 95 00:05:34,595 --> 00:05:36,030 Right. Sorry. 96 00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:37,510 Cerritos, two to beam up. 97 00:05:37,511 --> 00:05:39,382 Copy, Commander. Energizing. 98 00:05:40,862 --> 00:05:43,211 Something is wrong, sir. 99 00:05:43,212 --> 00:05:45,518 There's only one pattern. 100 00:05:45,519 --> 00:05:48,521 What the fuck?! 101 00:05:48,522 --> 00:05:50,653 Where am I? And, uh... 102 00:05:50,654 --> 00:05:51,959 who am I? 103 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:54,832 Captain, we have a problem. 104 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,755 Something over there caused Billups and Dr. T'Ana 105 00:06:05,756 --> 00:06:07,104 to merge in the transporter. 106 00:06:07,105 --> 00:06:09,629 He's calling himself T'Illups. 107 00:06:09,630 --> 00:06:12,501 This exact scenario happened to the Voyager crew. 108 00:06:12,502 --> 00:06:15,112 Everything is falling apart! 109 00:06:15,113 --> 00:06:16,549 No need for panic. 110 00:06:16,550 --> 00:06:18,638 I'm sure I can deal with this transporter situation 111 00:06:18,639 --> 00:06:19,943 - on my own. - Oh... 112 00:06:19,944 --> 00:06:22,642 Just send me a copy of Janeway's logs. 113 00:06:22,643 --> 00:06:24,034 I'll do whatever she did. 114 00:06:24,035 --> 00:06:26,211 Sending now. Thank you, Captain. 115 00:06:30,825 --> 00:06:33,348 She knows Janeway straight up murdered Tuvix, right? 116 00:06:33,349 --> 00:06:34,958 Huh? Oh, I-I don't know. 117 00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:36,656 What? Yes, you do. You're a know-it-all. 118 00:06:36,657 --> 00:06:37,918 Get your head in the game. 119 00:06:37,919 --> 00:06:39,746 This is a historically significant mission. 120 00:06:39,747 --> 00:06:41,138 It's Voy, man. 121 00:06:41,139 --> 00:06:43,010 I mean, it's not that historically significant. 122 00:06:43,011 --> 00:06:44,620 What? Yes, it is. 123 00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:46,622 I'm gonna make sure going to warp 124 00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:48,232 didn't knock anything over. 125 00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:50,017 We've got inertial dampeners. I'm sure everything is fine. 126 00:06:50,018 --> 00:06:53,237 It won't be fine until we're on the ground. 127 00:06:53,238 --> 00:06:56,110 Relax. They design these things to survive a photon blast. 128 00:06:56,111 --> 00:06:58,765 Oops. Uh, let me just... Wait. 129 00:06:58,766 --> 00:07:01,332 There's something behind the neural gel. 130 00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:02,508 Somebody phaser it! 131 00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:03,813 Look out! 132 00:07:03,814 --> 00:07:05,206 Oh, God, it's on me! 133 00:07:05,207 --> 00:07:06,337 Ugh, don't let it infect you. 134 00:07:06,338 --> 00:07:08,296 - Don't shoot. - Why not? 135 00:07:08,297 --> 00:07:10,167 It's a Tak Takian macrovirus. 136 00:07:10,168 --> 00:07:11,473 It must've been dormant. 137 00:07:11,474 --> 00:07:13,693 Macrovirus? Is it making me sick? 138 00:07:13,694 --> 00:07:16,130 Everyone got inoculated years ago. It can't hurt you. 139 00:07:16,131 --> 00:07:18,654 But it is perfect for the museum. 140 00:07:18,655 --> 00:07:20,917 Good virus. Just stay right there. 141 00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:23,530 Temba, his arms wide. 142 00:07:26,054 --> 00:07:29,230 They're spraying DNA on my babies. 143 00:07:29,231 --> 00:07:31,319 - Don't let them off the bridge. - Right, um, so... 144 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:32,713 Just stand in front of the door. 145 00:07:37,239 --> 00:07:38,674 - Boimler, are you kidding me? - Come on, man. 146 00:07:38,675 --> 00:07:40,589 Shaka, when the walls fell, Ensign. 147 00:07:40,590 --> 00:07:43,985 - Sokath, his eyes uncovered. - I pay attention. 148 00:07:47,205 --> 00:07:48,858 How can you be this distracted over an empty ship? 149 00:07:48,859 --> 00:07:51,731 Uh, you know, Chakotay served here. 150 00:07:51,732 --> 00:07:54,255 Dude, this is nothing compared to, you know, that Pike thing 151 00:07:54,256 --> 00:07:55,822 we aren't supposed to talk about. 152 00:07:55,823 --> 00:07:57,867 Let's get these chunky cold sores under control 153 00:07:57,868 --> 00:07:59,739 so we can get back to enjoying this. 154 00:07:59,740 --> 00:08:01,088 They're self-replicating again! 155 00:08:01,089 --> 00:08:02,176 Mr. Boimler, get out here. 156 00:08:02,177 --> 00:08:03,483 This is your fault. 157 00:08:04,962 --> 00:08:07,094 I told you, I feel fuckin' great. 158 00:08:07,095 --> 00:08:08,922 Here, let me boost the range on that scanner. 159 00:08:08,923 --> 00:08:10,924 He's been symbiogenetically merged 160 00:08:10,925 --> 00:08:12,752 on a subcellular level, Captain. 161 00:08:12,753 --> 00:08:14,928 It's called being Tuvixed. 162 00:08:14,929 --> 00:08:16,712 The same thing happened to Commander Tuvok 163 00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:17,844 and Neelix back in the '70s. 164 00:08:17,845 --> 00:08:19,323 They beamed out with this flower, 165 00:08:19,324 --> 00:08:21,195 and it caused them to merge into Tuvix, 166 00:08:21,196 --> 00:08:23,414 a combination of their DNA and memories. 167 00:08:23,415 --> 00:08:25,852 That orchid was in one of the boxes we moved. 168 00:08:25,853 --> 00:08:27,810 It must've gotten into the transporter. 169 00:08:27,811 --> 00:08:30,378 And that's how T'Illups was born. 170 00:08:30,379 --> 00:08:33,729 Captain, I caution against socializing with the organism. 171 00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:36,297 Organism? I'm a totally unique sentient being. 172 00:08:36,298 --> 00:08:37,646 Plus, I'm cool as fuck. 173 00:08:37,647 --> 00:08:39,126 We're gonna be best friends fast. 174 00:08:39,127 --> 00:08:41,258 Yeah, T'Lyn, it doesn't hurt to be friendly, 175 00:08:41,259 --> 00:08:43,739 since Mr. T'Illups didn't ask to be created. 176 00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:45,001 Sure didn't, but here I am. 177 00:08:45,002 --> 00:08:47,351 I love being alive. 178 00:08:47,352 --> 00:08:49,658 Well, I'm sure that Janeway had a solution to this. 179 00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:51,313 I'll be back shortly. 180 00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:55,098 How many physical memories 181 00:08:55,099 --> 00:08:57,449 do you have from before? 182 00:09:01,802 --> 00:09:03,411 Don't let them touch the exhibits! 183 00:09:03,412 --> 00:09:04,848 No! 184 00:09:07,459 --> 00:09:09,635 Initiating programs Chaotica, 185 00:09:09,636 --> 00:09:11,332 Clown and Michael Sullivan. 186 00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:13,856 Safety protocols set to random. 187 00:09:13,857 --> 00:09:16,119 Random? No. Computer, set them to safety. 188 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:19,253 - Ooh. - Surrender now, 189 00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:21,952 or face the wrath of Chaotica. 190 00:09:23,824 --> 00:09:25,476 These are, like, Voy's deepest cuts. 191 00:09:25,477 --> 00:09:27,436 Not as deep as my cuts. Yah! 192 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:33,049 How are these guys even getting off the holodeck? 193 00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:35,269 I installed holo-emitters all over the ship. 194 00:09:35,270 --> 00:09:37,140 I thought you were preserving, not adding. 195 00:09:37,141 --> 00:09:39,708 Oh, subtle updates that don't impact historical consistency 196 00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:42,711 are an acceptable compromise for conservation. 197 00:09:42,712 --> 00:09:44,017 Wha... Chaotica isn't subtle, 198 00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:45,846 and the Clown wasn't even a holodeck pro... 199 00:09:47,325 --> 00:09:49,457 I love you, but I can't be with you. 200 00:09:49,458 --> 00:09:50,546 Ooh, I like this guy, though. 201 00:09:54,115 --> 00:09:56,247 - Watch out! The Borg display! - I got it! 202 00:10:02,427 --> 00:10:03,906 That promotion is starting to seem 203 00:10:03,907 --> 00:10:06,127 a little less likely, Mr. Boimler. 204 00:10:13,264 --> 00:10:14,830 Did Janeway figure it out? 205 00:10:14,831 --> 00:10:16,876 No, she just murdered him. 206 00:10:16,877 --> 00:10:18,268 There has to be more to it. 207 00:10:18,269 --> 00:10:20,836 She isolated the genomes and split 'em up. 208 00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:22,272 He begged her to live. 209 00:10:22,273 --> 00:10:25,014 Holy shit! Janeway didn't mess around. 210 00:10:25,015 --> 00:10:26,886 I don't want to kill the guy. 211 00:10:26,887 --> 00:10:28,409 I mean, he didn't do anything wrong. 212 00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:30,367 We aren't stranded in the Delta Quadrant. 213 00:10:30,368 --> 00:10:32,282 We could take him to Earth and get some help. 214 00:10:32,283 --> 00:10:34,023 Good call. Let's hurry. 215 00:10:34,024 --> 00:10:36,765 Captain, do you think Dr. T'Ana will be okay? 216 00:10:36,766 --> 00:10:38,985 I think so, but it didn't take us long 217 00:10:38,986 --> 00:10:40,856 to look up Janeway's solution. 218 00:10:40,857 --> 00:10:43,293 Let's just hope Mr. T'Illups doesn't do the same. 219 00:10:43,294 --> 00:10:45,557 Are you fucking kidding me? 220 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:55,175 Dr. Migleemo, I need your help, uh, 221 00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:56,916 processing my existence. 222 00:10:56,917 --> 00:10:58,395 Oh, what a dream. 223 00:10:58,396 --> 00:11:01,137 Don't do any self-care until I get there. 224 00:11:01,138 --> 00:11:03,836 Help! Help! 225 00:11:03,837 --> 00:11:06,229 I can feel it trying to regenerate me. 226 00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:08,579 Uh, maybe if I cut power, we can... 227 00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:09,972 Stop helping, Ensign Boimler. 228 00:11:09,973 --> 00:11:11,540 Why don't you take a break. 229 00:11:14,543 --> 00:11:17,197 The alcove's activated. Look. 230 00:11:17,198 --> 00:11:19,634 What the hell is that? 231 00:11:19,635 --> 00:11:22,159 - It's a Borg nanite. - We must have missed one. 232 00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:25,074 It's supposed to be microscopic. 233 00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:27,076 It must have assimilated to the macrovirus. 234 00:11:27,077 --> 00:11:29,078 It's a macro-nanite? 235 00:11:29,079 --> 00:11:31,733 Congratulations. 236 00:11:31,734 --> 00:11:33,735 You've won more Clowns. 237 00:11:33,736 --> 00:11:35,389 I can't resist your touch. 238 00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:36,738 - Let me hold you. - Computer! 239 00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:37,914 Delete this guy. Come on, computer. 240 00:11:45,182 --> 00:11:48,054 We just want to talk, Mr. T'Illups. 241 00:11:48,055 --> 00:11:49,838 - I don't think so. - You're gonna kill me. 242 00:11:49,839 --> 00:11:52,972 I promise you I'm not killing anyone, 243 00:11:52,973 --> 00:11:54,321 but I am coming in. 244 00:11:54,322 --> 00:11:55,844 Help! 245 00:11:55,845 --> 00:11:57,063 She's trying to kill me! 246 00:11:57,064 --> 00:11:58,629 We're going to figure this out. 247 00:11:58,630 --> 00:12:01,023 What? I can't hear you. 248 00:12:01,024 --> 00:12:03,939 The Cerritos isn't stuck in the Delta Quadrant, 249 00:12:03,940 --> 00:12:05,854 and Starfleet has the best doctors in the... 250 00:12:05,855 --> 00:12:07,334 I know how this goes down. 251 00:12:07,335 --> 00:12:10,425 Which is why I need allies. 252 00:12:12,035 --> 00:12:13,341 No, wait! 253 00:12:14,429 --> 00:12:19,433 Behold, Captain Dr. Frigleeman. 254 00:12:19,434 --> 00:12:22,784 Bring me more scrumptious senior staff. 255 00:12:22,785 --> 00:12:25,004 That's an order. 256 00:12:25,005 --> 00:12:25,832 No! 257 00:12:26,876 --> 00:12:29,399 Water, room temperature. 258 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:32,315 So, you're really okay with killing T'Illups? 259 00:12:32,316 --> 00:12:35,971 I am here to hydrate, not debate on an anomaly's agency. 260 00:12:35,972 --> 00:12:38,191 Well, I don't know. I just don't think it's ethical 261 00:12:38,192 --> 00:12:40,280 to end someone's life to get our friends back. 262 00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:42,369 I hardly know anyone here at all. 263 00:12:42,370 --> 00:12:44,719 - I am impartial. - But we're friends. 264 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,287 Right? 265 00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:50,986 The bartender. 266 00:12:50,987 --> 00:12:52,423 Tuvix him with Lundy. 267 00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:01,040 He's making more hybrids. 268 00:13:01,041 --> 00:13:03,304 That appears to be an accurate assessment. 269 00:13:06,742 --> 00:13:10,224 My career is ruined! 270 00:13:18,406 --> 00:13:20,973 Some of this stuff got in my mouth. 271 00:13:20,974 --> 00:13:22,975 I'm getting you out of here. Just hang tight. 272 00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:25,020 Dude, you don't need me. 273 00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:27,283 Did Chaotica's ray gun steal all your confidence or something? 274 00:13:27,284 --> 00:13:28,632 No, I'm just... 275 00:13:28,633 --> 00:13:30,025 - I'm having an off day. - Ugh! 276 00:13:30,026 --> 00:13:32,071 This was supposed to be fun, and you ruined it. 277 00:13:32,072 --> 00:13:34,378 - Voyager's just a ship, man. - It's not that. 278 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:37,337 Ransom was gonna promote me today, 279 00:13:37,338 --> 00:13:39,078 but I don't want it. 280 00:13:39,079 --> 00:13:40,209 What are you talking about? 281 00:13:40,210 --> 00:13:41,341 Did you eat some of that virus slime? 282 00:13:41,342 --> 00:13:43,386 I'm worried it'll be like the Titan. 283 00:13:43,387 --> 00:13:45,693 It took us months to repair our friendship. 284 00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:47,303 I... I can't do that again. 285 00:13:47,304 --> 00:13:49,218 This is a totally different situation. 286 00:13:49,219 --> 00:13:51,525 It's not just that. I should've believed you 287 00:13:51,526 --> 00:13:53,527 when the captain sent you to Starbase 80. 288 00:13:53,528 --> 00:13:56,182 I have bad judgment. I-I don't deserve a promotion. 289 00:13:56,183 --> 00:13:58,488 You adorable idiot. 290 00:13:58,489 --> 00:14:00,664 I'm the one who told Ransom to promote you. 291 00:14:00,665 --> 00:14:02,144 - You did? - Yes. 292 00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:04,451 I was just keeping my mouth shut so it'd be a surprise. 293 00:14:04,452 --> 00:14:05,582 You aren't mad at me? 294 00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:07,410 No. Look, I am really touched, 295 00:14:07,411 --> 00:14:08,890 but this is why we can't keep secrets. 296 00:14:08,891 --> 00:14:11,066 One of us always ends up covered in slime. 297 00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:13,155 Yeah, and it's not coming up. 298 00:14:13,156 --> 00:14:15,941 Would you just go save the ship already? You don't need me. 299 00:14:15,942 --> 00:14:18,205 Thanks, Mariner. I'm glad we're friends. 300 00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:21,337 Ew! Did you just pat me on the head? 301 00:14:21,338 --> 00:14:23,079 Yeah, it felt weird to me, too. I'm sorry. 302 00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:31,391 You are Chondus, and you're with friends. 303 00:14:31,392 --> 00:14:33,045 This is Shabarnes and Swhale Swhalens. 304 00:14:33,046 --> 00:14:36,004 He's a combination of Steve Stevens and Matt the whale. 305 00:14:36,005 --> 00:14:38,311 I want a fish. 306 00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:41,836 He's not my best work, but it matters not. 307 00:14:41,837 --> 00:14:47,147 Soon, the entire fucking crew will be a Tuvix army! 308 00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:54,284 Prepare to energize. 309 00:14:55,677 --> 00:14:57,112 We have to do something. 310 00:14:57,113 --> 00:14:59,419 I am already taking control of the transporters. 311 00:14:59,420 --> 00:15:03,075 - You can do that? - Starfleet systems are easily circumvented. 312 00:15:03,076 --> 00:15:04,729 Hey, what are you doing? 313 00:15:16,263 --> 00:15:20,005 You combined all of them into one big Tuvix-y meatball? 314 00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:21,354 Perhaps I could still split them 315 00:15:21,355 --> 00:15:22,878 into their individual components. 316 00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:25,532 Why isn't it working? 317 00:15:25,533 --> 00:15:27,273 I cannot isolate their genetic signatures. 318 00:15:27,274 --> 00:15:28,884 There are too many merged hybrids. 319 00:15:37,545 --> 00:15:38,849 Confirm new heading. 320 00:15:38,850 --> 00:15:42,070 Setting a course to Borg Cube 858779. 321 00:15:42,071 --> 00:15:43,377 Computer, cancel! 322 00:15:51,515 --> 00:15:54,083 I miss my wife. 323 00:15:55,432 --> 00:15:56,867 Mr. Boimler. 324 00:15:56,868 --> 00:15:59,000 Zap this stuff and get me down from here. 325 00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:00,524 No time. I need an engineer. 326 00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,135 - Ow. - Sorry. 327 00:16:03,136 --> 00:16:04,658 Wait! Free us, too! 328 00:16:04,659 --> 00:16:06,660 If we survive this, we're having a long talk, 329 00:16:06,661 --> 00:16:08,444 Mr. Boim... Uh... 330 00:16:08,445 --> 00:16:09,924 Okay, 331 00:16:09,925 --> 00:16:11,012 the macro bots have locked us out, 332 00:16:11,013 --> 00:16:12,448 but we need to shut down main systems. 333 00:16:12,449 --> 00:16:14,320 Um, um, uh, we got to break Voyager. 334 00:16:14,321 --> 00:16:16,452 I got to break Voyager. Ooh, I have just the thing. 335 00:16:16,453 --> 00:16:18,150 Yes, I knew you would. 336 00:16:18,151 --> 00:16:20,413 The method employed by the Voyager's EMH can only mark 337 00:16:20,414 --> 00:16:21,849 one individual. 338 00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:24,025 High command will not be impressed with my error. 339 00:16:24,026 --> 00:16:26,201 That scanner T'Illups suggested 340 00:16:26,202 --> 00:16:29,248 picks up all sorts of stuff, including personality traits. 341 00:16:29,249 --> 00:16:31,076 That's how we can fix this. 342 00:16:31,077 --> 00:16:33,339 I fail to see how that helps me differentiate a whale 343 00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:34,514 from Steve Stevens. 344 00:16:34,515 --> 00:16:35,950 Because you don't know them. Look. 345 00:16:35,951 --> 00:16:38,605 This area is proud, confident and a little silly. 346 00:16:38,606 --> 00:16:39,867 Oh, that's the captain. 347 00:16:39,868 --> 00:16:41,477 If I isolate genetic code 348 00:16:41,478 --> 00:16:43,131 and you mark their personalities... 349 00:16:43,132 --> 00:16:44,480 We can get everyone back. 350 00:16:44,481 --> 00:16:45,916 Why are you helping me? 351 00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:47,831 Do you not have ethical problems with this solution? 352 00:16:47,832 --> 00:16:49,659 Well, yeah, I did, but, uh, 353 00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:51,531 this is a non-sentient blob of meat, 354 00:16:51,532 --> 00:16:53,707 so I'm willing to go outside my comfort zone. 355 00:16:53,708 --> 00:16:55,187 I mean, for our friends. 356 00:16:55,188 --> 00:16:57,364 Hmm. Thank you. 357 00:17:06,286 --> 00:17:07,895 Are you sure this is gonna work? 358 00:17:07,896 --> 00:17:09,853 Nope, but it feels like a kooky Voyager solution, 359 00:17:09,854 --> 00:17:11,943 - so it's worth a try. - Bridge. 360 00:17:17,862 --> 00:17:20,299 Any last words 361 00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:24,173 before you feel the sting of my electro Luger? 362 00:17:25,218 --> 00:17:27,393 Ha! There's only one thing 363 00:17:27,394 --> 00:17:29,917 you haven't thought of, Dr. Chaotica. 364 00:17:29,918 --> 00:17:33,747 Please, I think of everything at all times. 365 00:17:33,748 --> 00:17:36,271 That's what you think. 366 00:17:36,272 --> 00:17:38,186 What are you babbling about, fool? 367 00:17:38,187 --> 00:17:40,188 I am not a Starfleet ensign. 368 00:17:40,189 --> 00:17:43,191 I am the son of Captain Proton. 369 00:17:43,192 --> 00:17:45,019 No. 370 00:17:45,020 --> 00:17:46,412 I got it. 371 00:17:46,413 --> 00:17:48,631 How could that be-be-be? 372 00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:50,242 It's working. 373 00:17:50,243 --> 00:17:53,114 What the hell is wrong with you, Chaotica? 374 00:17:53,115 --> 00:17:56,117 Alert. Bio-neural systems shutting down. 375 00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:57,423 Wh-Wh-Wh-What? 376 00:17:57,424 --> 00:17:58,946 Saints preserve us. 377 00:17:58,947 --> 00:18:01,209 I am full of love. 378 00:18:01,210 --> 00:18:03,038 Ooh, I'll cut off your head! 379 00:18:05,649 --> 00:18:08,042 Oh, we did it. We broke Voyager. 380 00:18:08,043 --> 00:18:10,740 What did you do to my beautiful ship? 381 00:18:10,741 --> 00:18:12,177 I used the Neelix cheese. 382 00:18:12,178 --> 00:18:14,049 It gummed up the neural network just the way it likes. 383 00:18:17,226 --> 00:18:19,793 Let's get this bad boy locked up. 384 00:18:19,794 --> 00:18:22,230 We should still have time to clean before we get to Earth. 385 00:18:22,231 --> 00:18:24,450 Well done. 386 00:18:24,451 --> 00:18:27,975 Now I have to add another exhibit to the Voyager story. 387 00:18:27,976 --> 00:18:30,761 ♪ 388 00:18:43,339 --> 00:18:45,035 Captain's log, supplemental. 389 00:18:45,036 --> 00:18:48,387 After an embarrassing day 390 00:18:48,388 --> 00:18:50,302 of being merged on a subcellular level 391 00:18:50,303 --> 00:18:52,347 with my senior staff, 392 00:18:52,348 --> 00:18:54,436 we are putting the awkwardness behind us 393 00:18:54,437 --> 00:18:56,351 with a promotion ceremony. 394 00:18:56,352 --> 00:18:58,658 Today's, uh... 395 00:18:58,659 --> 00:19:01,922 frankly bizarre series of Voyager themed obstacles 396 00:19:01,923 --> 00:19:06,361 only prove that you are all creative, accomplished officers. 397 00:19:06,362 --> 00:19:10,018 Commander, please announce our new lieutenant junior grades. 398 00:19:11,019 --> 00:19:12,542 Ensign Brad Boimler. 399 00:19:16,416 --> 00:19:17,720 Quick thinking today, Mr. Boimler. 400 00:19:17,721 --> 00:19:18,809 Thank you, sir. 401 00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:24,292 Provisional Ensign T'Lyn. 402 00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:27,382 Unexpected, but appreciated. 403 00:19:27,383 --> 00:19:29,994 - Ensign D'Vana Tendi. - Oh, my gosh! What? No way! 404 00:19:31,648 --> 00:19:34,563 Thank you, sir. Guys, I got a pip! 405 00:19:34,564 --> 00:19:36,696 All right, that's what I'm talking about. 406 00:19:36,697 --> 00:19:40,308 My main objective here is to prove to the High Council 407 00:19:40,309 --> 00:19:42,702 that I should be reinstated to the Vulcan fleet. 408 00:19:42,703 --> 00:19:44,486 But after today, 409 00:19:44,487 --> 00:19:46,880 I have grown to respect your skills as a scientist. 410 00:19:46,881 --> 00:19:49,491 I'm so excited we got promoted together. 411 00:19:49,492 --> 00:19:52,320 Now we really can be best science friends. 412 00:19:52,321 --> 00:19:55,149 That is not the lesson to take from this moment. 413 00:19:55,150 --> 00:19:58,457 Damn, looks like half of Beta shift will be ensigns no more. 414 00:19:58,458 --> 00:20:00,110 Ooh, let's hit the bar and celebrate. 415 00:20:00,111 --> 00:20:02,635 And, finally, Ensign Beckett Mariner. 416 00:20:02,636 --> 00:20:04,028 Wait, wh-what? 417 00:20:05,465 --> 00:20:07,422 Sir, I... No, this has to be a mistake. 418 00:20:07,423 --> 00:20:09,512 Congratulations, Lieutenant. 419 00:20:14,952 --> 00:20:16,736 Yo, yo. 420 00:20:16,737 --> 00:20:18,390 Sir, this is wrong. 421 00:20:18,391 --> 00:20:20,043 I don't want to get promoted. 422 00:20:20,044 --> 00:20:21,480 I know you don't. 423 00:20:21,481 --> 00:20:24,570 Okay, then stop sliding it back to me and throw it out. 424 00:20:24,571 --> 00:20:26,136 Did you know Voyager's full of cameras? 425 00:20:26,137 --> 00:20:28,443 Came in handy when putting together the old mission log. 426 00:20:28,444 --> 00:20:31,359 I saw you help Boimler be the best he could be. 427 00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:32,969 So what? Boimler loves being encouraged. 428 00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:34,188 It's, like, his favorite thing. 429 00:20:34,189 --> 00:20:35,885 I went back and dug through your record. 430 00:20:35,886 --> 00:20:37,713 You've had a lot of small-minded commanders 431 00:20:37,714 --> 00:20:39,585 who promoted then demoted you. 432 00:20:39,586 --> 00:20:42,370 But now, you're with Jack Ransom. 433 00:20:42,371 --> 00:20:44,416 I'm twice as smart as any of those other guys, 434 00:20:44,417 --> 00:20:47,201 and I know you just need someone to believe in you. 435 00:20:47,202 --> 00:20:48,855 Consider yourself lucky 436 00:20:48,856 --> 00:20:51,205 that you have an amazing commanding officer. 437 00:20:51,206 --> 00:20:53,381 Sir, I am refusing this promotion. 438 00:20:53,382 --> 00:20:55,427 - You can't do this to me. - No, not gonna hear it. 439 00:20:55,428 --> 00:20:57,603 - You're dismissed, Lieutenant. - No, this isn't over. 440 00:20:57,604 --> 00:20:58,691 I'm not leaving. 441 00:20:58,692 --> 00:21:00,388 For real. I-I'm staying right here 442 00:21:00,389 --> 00:21:02,738 - until you listen to reason. - You do you. 443 00:21:02,739 --> 00:21:05,176 Feel the burn. 444 00:21:10,443 --> 00:21:12,182 - Mm. - Yeah, I... 445 00:21:12,183 --> 00:21:14,010 I couldn't even talk him out of it. He's such an idiot. 446 00:21:14,011 --> 00:21:15,490 What are you so bummed about? 447 00:21:15,491 --> 00:21:16,665 Now we get to be lieutenant JGs together. 448 00:21:16,666 --> 00:21:18,841 All of us except Rutherford. 449 00:21:18,842 --> 00:21:21,191 I mean, I did break Voyager. 450 00:21:21,192 --> 00:21:23,063 Engineers can't get promoted for breaking stuff. 451 00:21:23,064 --> 00:21:24,499 We always fix things. 452 00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:26,109 Shouldn't you be drunk and chanting 453 00:21:26,110 --> 00:21:27,589 with a fist in the air right now? 454 00:21:27,590 --> 00:21:30,549 Come on, no more bunks, no more holodeck duty! 455 00:21:30,550 --> 00:21:31,593 We did it! 456 00:21:31,594 --> 00:21:33,465 I know. I just, I-I can't believe 457 00:21:33,466 --> 00:21:35,510 we're not lower decks anymore. 458 00:21:35,511 --> 00:21:37,164 We're lieutenant junior grades, 459 00:21:37,165 --> 00:21:39,514 the least important mid-level officers. 460 00:21:39,515 --> 00:21:41,037 We do all the grunt work with none of the perks. 461 00:21:41,038 --> 00:21:42,430 We're still lower decks. 462 00:21:42,431 --> 00:21:44,867 Yeah, maybe you're right, and-and, hey, 463 00:21:44,868 --> 00:21:47,479 maybe from now on, our lives will be a lot easier. All right. 464 00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:48,784 Lower decks! 465 00:21:48,785 --> 00:21:50,786 Lower decks! Lower decks! 466 00:21:50,787 --> 00:21:52,353 - Lower decks! - Come on, T'Lyn. 467 00:21:52,354 --> 00:21:54,834 Lower decks! Lower decks! 468 00:21:54,835 --> 00:21:56,401 This is going to be great! 469 00:21:56,402 --> 00:21:59,578 New jobs and no mysterious threats to get in our way. 470 00:21:59,579 --> 00:22:00,623 No mysterious threats! 471 00:22:12,940 --> 00:22:15,594 Cease that nervous honing and let me sleep. 472 00:22:15,595 --> 00:22:17,726 I am not nervous. I am restless. 473 00:22:17,727 --> 00:22:20,555 Eager to ram my blade through my enemies. 474 00:22:20,556 --> 00:22:22,818 That's not a blade. It's a spear. 475 00:22:22,819 --> 00:22:25,299 A coward's weapon used to poke a foe at a distance. 476 00:22:25,300 --> 00:22:26,779 It has no honor. 477 00:22:26,780 --> 00:22:30,000 Nobody calls me a coward and lives to tell the tale. 478 00:22:33,526 --> 00:22:34,961 Are you free for lunch today? 479 00:22:34,962 --> 00:22:37,529 They are serving eyes or hearts or something. 480 00:22:37,530 --> 00:22:39,182 I cannot make it. 481 00:22:39,183 --> 00:22:42,621 The captain has ordered me to sit with Commander Vekras 482 00:22:42,622 --> 00:22:45,319 and transcribe his tedious battle tales. 483 00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:46,886 It is a waste of time. 484 00:22:46,887 --> 00:22:50,193 Ma'ah lucked his way into that captain's chair. 485 00:22:50,194 --> 00:22:52,282 He forgets who his true allies are. 486 00:22:52,283 --> 00:22:54,764 He won't be captain much longer. 487 00:22:56,418 --> 00:22:59,595 We are in battle. Who was wrong to sharpen their spear now? 488 00:23:00,727 --> 00:23:02,685 ♪ 489 00:23:06,559 --> 00:23:09,256 I read one life sign on board, Captain. 490 00:23:09,257 --> 00:23:12,259 Unknown vessel, you have drifted into Klingon space. 491 00:23:12,260 --> 00:23:13,609 Identify yourself. 492 00:23:17,221 --> 00:23:19,135 No response. Should we fire on them? 493 00:23:19,136 --> 00:23:22,661 We gain no honor in destroying an incapacitated ship. 494 00:23:22,662 --> 00:23:25,141 Mark their location and resume our course to Qo'noS. 495 00:23:25,142 --> 00:23:27,928 Sir, it's moving. 496 00:23:29,016 --> 00:23:30,451 They're charging weapons. 497 00:23:30,452 --> 00:23:32,018 Destroy those qoHpu'. 498 00:23:32,019 --> 00:23:33,976 I said fire. 499 00:23:33,977 --> 00:23:35,151 I'm trying, but weapons are down. 500 00:23:35,152 --> 00:23:36,152 What? 501 00:23:36,153 --> 00:23:37,719 All systems are losing power. 502 00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:38,765 That's impossible. 503 00:23:58,132 --> 00:24:01,135 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 504 00:24:50,706 --> 00:24:51,707 Chirp.