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00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:04,046
Tobie:
Welcome to Just Roll With It!
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00:00:04,046 --> 00:00:06,840
(theme music playing)
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00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:09,551
(cheering)
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00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,392
♪ Na, na, na, na,
na, na, na, na ♪
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00:00:22,231 --> 00:00:24,608
All:
Just Roll With It!
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00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:26,902
‐(bell ringing)
‐(cheering)
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00:00:26,902 --> 00:00:28,737
♪ Na, na, na, na,
na, na, na, na ♪
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00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:32,199
(audience cheering)
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00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:40,165
Welcome to
Just Roll With It!
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00:00:42,417 --> 00:00:44,586
When you hear this sound:
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00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:47,798
‐(foghorn blares)
‐(audience cheering)
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00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:51,218
You, the audience, get to vote
on what happens to us in scenes.
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00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:53,887
(cheering)
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00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,181
I'm just hoping we don't see
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Gary the Stage Ghost
during tonight's show.
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00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,936
Uh, Gary the who?
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Gary. He's this creepy ghost
who wears coveralls
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00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:06,942
and always carries
a big mop bucket.
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00:01:06,942 --> 00:01:10,612
He's why I always keep
my magic amulet.
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‐It's the...
‐(audience laughing)
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It's the only way
to vanquish him.
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(audience laughs)
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Are you talking
about Gary the janitor?
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No. Who's that?
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He's, uh...
He's the guy right over there.
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Aah! He‐‐ He's the ghost!
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Sorry about that, Gar‐‐
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Gary?
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(giggling)
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Well, whatever happens,
we'll have to...
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All:
Just Roll With It!
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(audience cheering)
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♪ ♪
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♪ Na, na, na, na,
na, na, na, na ♪
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♪ ♪
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Morning, Mom.
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I noticed you didn't have time
for breakfast this morning,
so I made you some.
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(foghorn blares)
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‐What?!
‐(audience cheering)
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‐Announcer: All right,
audience. It's time to vote.
‐(bell dinging)
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You choose.
What does Blair
make for breakfast?
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‐Oh, boy.
‐First line, first scene.
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We will start
on Blair's new line,
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which you will read
off of a hand‐card.
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‐(gasps) Have fun, Tobie.
‐Tobie: Have fun. Have fun.
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Announcer: And let's get
back to the scene.
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‐Director: Action!
‐Morning, Mom.
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I noticed you didn't have
breakfast back at the house,
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00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:34,863
so I've decided we should make
pancakes together.
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‐(bell dinging)
‐Great!
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And since you like
exotic foods,
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I picked out ingredients
I know you're going to love.
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‐Rachel: Oh!
‐(audience groaning)
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Let's‐‐ Let's‐‐
Let's see what we have.
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Fish eyeballs,
fried tarantulas,
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00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:54,049
blue cheese, giant worms...
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00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:55,342
(audience groans)
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‐...silkworms...
‐(audience groans)
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...some beetles...
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(audience groaning)
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‐Eyeballs.
‐Yes.
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Blair:
Mom, you're gonna love this.
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‐Rachel: Oh!
‐Owen: Aah!
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You know, I don't like
when my food looks back at me.
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‐(laughing)
‐Blair: Okay.
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00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:12,943
‐Um...
‐That is so much spider.
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00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:15,112
‐Tarantula‐‐
‐(Rachel gags)
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‐Aah!
‐(audience groans, shrieks)
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Rachel: I'm gonna cut
this guy a little bit.
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‐(tarantula crunches)
‐Oh!
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What sound was that?
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‐Touch it. There you go.
‐Oh!
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‐Rachel: Yeah.
‐(audience shrieks)
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I hope this ends up
tasting like chicken.
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Byron: Ooh, they're
the size of chestnuts!
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Okay. That,
that looks like enough.
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‐Rachel: Ugh!
‐(audience groaning)
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Packs a real
protein punch,
doesn't it?
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‐All right. Here we go.
‐(Blair chuckling)
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(sizzling)
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Listen to that sizzle.
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(kitchen timer dings)
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Blair:
Okay, let's get it
off the griddle.
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‐Rachel: Okay.
‐Blair: Set it down there.
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Ooh! I hope this is
gluten‐free.
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‐Rachel: Ah...
‐(crunches)
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‐Rachel: Oh‐aah!
‐(audience shrieking)
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00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:07,289
Rachel:
The sound when
they break open...
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Here we go.
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Count me in. Five,
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Both:
six, seven, eight.
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(all screaming)
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Byron:
Yes!
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‐(audience groaning)
‐(Owen screaming)
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(Blair squealing indistinctly)
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(laughing)
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He's out!
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‐Rachel: You know what?
‐Byron: Oh, yeah.
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It actually tastes exactly
like you think it would.
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Byron:
Okay.
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‐I wanna try
the fish eyeball.
‐Rachel: Whoa!
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Freestyle? You're gonna do
a freestyle fish eyeball?
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(audience groaning, shrieking)
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(chanting):
Owen! Owen! Owen!
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‐(audience cheering)
‐Rachel and Blair (chanting):
Owen! Owen! Owen!
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‐(Blair screams)
‐Rachel: No!
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(shrieks)
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That's my family!
Give it up for my family!
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‐(audience cheering)
‐Byron: Yes! Yes! Yes!
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Well, I guess it's
the thought that counts.
(coughs)
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00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:05,055
But what's going on,
Blair?
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Why are you trying
to be nice?
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(scoffs)
Because I love you.
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Okay.
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And also, I need $120
for an online hypnotism class.
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Absolutely not.
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Fine. Guess I'll
just respectfully accept
your decision and move on.
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‐She definitely went
to go ask my dad.
‐Oh, 100 percent.
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(playing guitar chord)
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‐Hey, Byron. Can I have‐‐
‐Byron: Oh, good.
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I was about to come grab you.
Gator and I are getting ready
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to record our new track,
which is:
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Both:
"Straight Fire"!
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(strums)
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I didn't know you
wanted to be a musician.
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00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:48,598
Of course, Blair.
People have lots of dreams
before they have kids.
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I was in tons of pop groups
when I was coming up.
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I was even in a group
with G‐Dimples.
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G‐Dimples?
He's super legit.
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00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:03,321
Yeah, but my bandmates
kept ditching me for bigger
and better things.
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But not this time,
because this time,
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we're doing a family band.
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00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:09,369
And as they say in every
Diesel Team movie,
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00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:12,122
Both:
"Family never betrays family."
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So Blair,
you wanna be in the band?
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00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:17,002
Don't you think
it's gonna be hard
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for two guys in their 40s
to become pop stars?
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00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:23,717
Aah, late 30s.
(chuckles)
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Uh, besides,
that's where you come in.
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I wrote you a verse,
so you can give us
some of that youthful edge.
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‐What do you say? Please?
‐Ugh.
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Fine. I'll do it.
But I have to warn you,
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I'm not going to try at all.
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No problem.
We've got Auto‐Tune.
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‐(clears throat)
‐All right,
let me start the beat.
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00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:48,450
(slow, rhythmic drumbeat)
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00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:51,703
♪ Comin' up I couldn't see
the forest for all the trees ♪
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♪ Beatin' balls, but everyone
seems to blow up except me ♪
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00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:55,999
♪ Now times have changed,
things are different ♪
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♪ The whole world's gonna see ♪
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00:06:57,542 --> 00:07:00,962
♪ Grab my pillow tight
'cause I'm hangin'
onto these dreams ♪
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(singing off‐key):
♪ Dreams! ♪
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♪ Are my best friend ♪
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00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:08,970
♪ I have these dreams
and I'll keep dreamin' ♪
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♪ To the end ♪
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♪ Dreams ♪
157
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:17,937
♪ They let me fly ♪
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♪ And I'll keep dreamin'
'cause I'm a dreamy guy ♪
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♪ I'm just a dreamy guy,
ah, ah, ah, ah, ah ♪
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Um, right.
(clears throat)
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(monotonically):
♪ Yo, I may be young ♪
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♪ But you know what kids
like me think is cool? ♪
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00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:37,332
♪ Guys with dreams in their 30s,
having dreams really rules ♪
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(mutters)
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00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:40,835
‐(music stops)
‐Byron,
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00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:42,462
this is ridiculous.
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And what is Gator doing?
Is there even any guitar
in this song?
168
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,220
I'm just, like,
the look of the band.
169
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:53,056
Blair, you were
doing great.
170
00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:55,225
I'm telling you,
people are gonna really dig
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00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:58,144
this funky, fresh new sound.
Let's run it back.
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00:07:58,561 --> 00:08:00,522
(music resumes)
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00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:02,982
(singing off‐key):
♪ Dreams ♪
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00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:05,110
♪ Are my best friend ♪
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00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,239
Penworth:
Hi there, kids.
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00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:10,657
Beautiful day, isn't it?
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00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,784
It's even better
in these breezy,
178
00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:15,787
poly‐spandex leggings.
179
00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:17,997
Ooh. They're butterfly soft,
180
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:20,792
and their patented
breathe‐easy elastic waistband
181
00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:24,421
means they're guaranteed
not to chafe your problem areas.
182
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:27,048
Mr. Penworth,
we've told you before,
183
00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:29,551
we're not interested
in buying leggings.
184
00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:34,055
Or hearing about
your problem areas.
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Aw, man.
186
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:38,059
I had to give this
company half my savings
187
00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:41,521
to become a certified
"Gold Level Leggings
Distributor."
188
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:44,566
I was sure these bad boys
were gonna take off.
189
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,154
Blair Bennett?
190
00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:51,781
‐Who's asking?
‐Skeeter Swindell.
191
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:54,284
I'm a producer with
Kid Factory Records.
192
00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:59,789
I saw the video your dad posted
of your band singing last night.
193
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:02,125
Aw, man.
He posted that?
194
00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:04,002
(chuckles): Yeah.
I've been sending it
195
00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:06,171
to all my friends
in the biz as a goof,
196
00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:09,090
but I gotta say,
I've been doing this
a long time,
197
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:12,802
and you've got what it takes
to be a star.
198
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:14,971
Yeah, I know.
199
00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,224
But no thanks.
200
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:20,185
I don't really wanna be famous.
201
00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:21,770
I like to sleep a lot,
202
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:24,314
and famous people
seem like they're always
having to do stuff.
203
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,734
See? That's what
makes you so hip!
204
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:29,235
You are over it.
205
00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:30,695
Detached. Aloof.
206
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:33,073
I mean, you are just barely
mumbling the words,
207
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:35,784
like you've got
a billion different places
you'd rather be,
208
00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:38,286
and that, my friend, is cool.
209
00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:42,415
And cool sells.
210
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:43,833
You do like money, right?
211
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:45,043
(slams)
212
00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:48,129
I do.
213
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:51,091
Hey. Wait a minute.
214
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,842
Do you think
if I became famous,
215
00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:54,844
I could make,
like, 120 bucks?
216
00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:56,221
Chyah!
217
00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:58,848
I'll give you that
just as a signing bonus.
218
00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:00,892
Whoa! Sweet!
219
00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:04,813
This town's about to get
their butts hypnotized.
220
00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:07,023
Kid, mark my words.
221
00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:11,152
You sign with me,
and not only will we leave
that crummy band in the dust,
222
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:15,782
I will make you the biggest
pop star in the world!
223
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:20,370
That sounds great,
but I can't.
224
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:22,705
It'll be just like
what happened
to my stepdad
225
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:24,124
in all his old bands.
226
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:27,335
If I blow up and become a star,
it'll crush him.
227
00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:31,172
Like they say,
"Family never betrays family."
228
00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:36,177
Ah, love the Diesel Team movies.
229
00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:37,303
But don't worry.
230
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,430
We'll just give you
a secret identity.
231
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:41,641
No one will ever know.
232
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,977
You'll have the best
of both worlds.
233
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:48,273
‐You can do that?
‐Absolutely!
234
00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:50,400
In fact, my own sister
235
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:53,528
actually had a similar situation
back in the day.
236
00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:58,074
All you need is a wig.
237
00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:02,412
Huh. Well in that case,
238
00:11:02,412 --> 00:11:04,247
you've got a deal.
239
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:08,585
So, tell me
about your sister.
240
00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:13,047
(audience cheering)
241
00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:16,509
♪ ♪
242
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,848
(electronic music playing)
243
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:24,184
♪ ♪
244
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:27,478
♪ I am so bored
and done and cool ♪
245
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:31,441
♪ I don't like parents
or my school ♪
246
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:35,445
♪ Buy my T‐shirts
and stream my song ♪
247
00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:39,699
♪ Because then you'll belong ♪
248
00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:49,292
This song is awesome!
249
00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:52,045
I love how she looks like
she doesn't even wanna be there!
250
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:54,672
That's so relatable
for me as a kid!
251
00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:56,382
What's everybody watching?
252
00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:58,384
The new
Shayna Pennsylvania video.
253
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,136
Who's Shayna Pennsylvania?
254
00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:03,056
Um, she's only
the coolest person
on the planet.
255
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:04,599
How have you
not heard of her?
256
00:12:04,599 --> 00:12:07,101
‐Wait. That's Blair.
‐Blair: Owen!
257
00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:09,896
What are you talking about?
This girl has bangs.
258
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,231
Blair doesn't have bangs.
259
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:14,234
Are you out of your mind?
260
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:17,487
Look at Blair's face, then look
at Shayna Pennsylvania's face.
261
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:19,530
It's the same face.
262
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:22,033
Chyah, right!
Shayna Pennsylvania's cool.
263
00:12:22,033 --> 00:12:23,201
Blair's wack.
264
00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:26,079
‐Excuse me!
‐(phone rings)
265
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:32,126
‐Hello?
‐Blair! How does it feel
to be famous, huh?
266
00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:35,338
One hundred million views
in less than 24 hours.
267
00:12:35,338 --> 00:12:37,715
You are the biggest thing
on Planet Earth right now.
268
00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:40,009
We got a big problem.
269
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:42,011
I didn't think this was
gonna get as big as it has,
270
00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:43,513
and my brother's onto us.
271
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:47,976
Who cares? I got you a spot
on Mid‐Day with Tay Zonday.
272
00:12:47,976 --> 00:12:49,352
I need you here ASAP.
273
00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:52,188
If my stepdad finds out
I ditched his band
to get famous,
274
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:53,690
he'll be devastated.
275
00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:55,817
Blair! We have a contract.
276
00:12:55,817 --> 00:12:57,193
And if you don't get down here,
277
00:12:57,193 --> 00:13:00,446
I will sue you very, very hard!
278
00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:02,073
You have your disguise, right?
279
00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:05,159
Ugh. Yes.
(sighs)
280
00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:10,873
Byron (off‐key):
♪ Dreams! ♪
281
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:12,959
(theme song plays)
282
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:15,753
Welcome back to
Mid‐Day with Tay Zonday.
283
00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:19,132
Our next guest's new song
is the hottest thing in music
right now‐‐
284
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:21,884
Shayna Pennsylvania!
285
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:29,976
'Sup?
286
00:13:31,019 --> 00:13:33,104
Shayna, welcome to the show.
287
00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:36,566
‐Now‐‐
‐(foghorn blares)
288
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:41,154
‐(bell dings)
‐Announcer: Okay, audience,
you get to decide.
289
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:45,158
What does Blair have to do
for her interview?
290
00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:46,909
What?
291
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:49,203
We're gonna start on
Tay Zonday's new line,
292
00:13:49,203 --> 00:13:50,663
which he will read
from a cue card.
293
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,790
‐You got it, Kaylin.
‐Woo! Yeah.
294
00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:55,710
Announcer: And let's get
back to the scene.
295
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:59,005
‐Director: Action!
‐Shayna, welcome to the show.
296
00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:00,214
You're in for a treat today,
297
00:14:00,214 --> 00:14:02,508
because we are bringing back
one of our old segments:
298
00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:04,010
the Human Sushi Roll!
299
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:06,888
‐(bell dinging)
‐(cheering)
300
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:11,100
I'm really cool,
so nothing bothers me.
301
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:15,313
Now, let's make some sushi!
302
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:21,235
Blair: Careful.
I'm worth a lot of money.
303
00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:25,948
Let's get some
raw fish on there.
304
00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:29,202
(audience groaning)
305
00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:34,123
(squishes)
306
00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:36,334
Woo! Ha‐ha‐ha!
307
00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:38,795
I bet you guys wouldn't
do this to Ariana Grande.
308
00:14:38,795 --> 00:14:40,338
(audience laughing)
309
00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:42,757
So, Shayna, who are
your musical influences?
310
00:14:42,757 --> 00:14:45,093
Yeah, I guess I don't
really have any influences,
311
00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:46,177
because I'm the greatest.
312
00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:50,098
You know, I like my sushi spicy.
313
00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:51,808
Toss on some spicy mayo,
would you?
314
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:55,061
(audience exclaiming)
315
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:58,773
Oh, gross! Oh! Oh!
316
00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:03,945
Tay Zonday:
Speaking of food,
317
00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:06,614
if you could make the skies
rain any dessert item,
318
00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:07,949
what would it be?
319
00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:10,827
Uh, chocolate?
320
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:13,204
(laughs)
Gotta love that.
321
00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:15,456
Guys, this needs more of a kick.
Add the wasabi.
322
00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:17,083
(audience exclaiming)
323
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:20,503
What do you do to the talk show
guests you don't like?
324
00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:24,006
Ew, it's so slimy!
325
00:15:24,006 --> 00:15:25,716
Tay Zonday:
One last step.
326
00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:28,344
Let's get rollin'!
327
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,513
That wakes you up.
(shudders): Oh!
328
00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:34,016
(audience cheering)
329
00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:37,019
Can you guys just roll me back
to the dressing room?
330
00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:39,438
I'm getting dizzy.
331
00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:43,109
I hope this doesn't end up
being a cut roll.
332
00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:44,777
Let's stand her up.
333
00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:48,322
‐Oh!
‐(audience exclaiming)
334
00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:50,992
I hope this makes
you all buy my album.
335
00:15:50,992 --> 00:15:54,662
Let's give a round of applause
for Shayna Pennsylvania!
336
00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:56,789
(cheering)
337
00:15:56,789 --> 00:16:00,501
♪ ♪
338
00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:03,129
Byron (off‐key):
♪ Dreams! ♪
339
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,798
‐Tay Zonday (over TV):
Shayna Pennsylvania!
‐(mutters): Ridiculous!
340
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:09,051
Look at this sellout.
She doesn't even have
a guy with a guitar.
341
00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:12,597
Why don't they ever interview
artists with real talent?
342
00:16:12,597 --> 00:16:15,725
Byron, what did I say about
muttering at the TV?
343
00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:17,768
Sorry, honey.
344
00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:21,230
(muttering): Can't even mutter
in my own dang house.
345
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:24,108
Blair (as Shayna over TV):
I'm really cool,
so nothing bothers me.
346
00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:25,526
Byron, don't watch that!
347
00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:30,489
Because...
TV will rot your brain.
348
00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:33,117
Fine by me. I can't stand
these new pop stars.
349
00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:35,369
They've got nothing
on our family band.
350
00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:37,914
And speaking of which,
did you see?
351
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:42,251
We're up to 42 views!
(laughs)
352
00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:45,004
We have got to strike
while the iron's hot.
353
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:48,049
I wrote a new song for us
called "You Can Always
Count on Family."
354
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:50,885
Yeah. Right.
355
00:16:50,885 --> 00:16:52,929
Ah. Gather 'round,
everybody!
356
00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:55,014
I have assembled
iron‐clad evidence
357
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,557
proving without
a shadow of a doubt
358
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:59,310
that Blair is, in fact,
Shayna Pennsylvania.
359
00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:01,187
What?
360
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:04,357
Both Blair and Shayna
have the exact same
upper‐lip‐to‐nose ratio.
361
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:07,777
The odds of these
being identical are
less than one percent.
362
00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:10,112
They also both have moles
on the right side of their neck,
363
00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:12,323
their voices are
a 100 percent match,
364
00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:15,576
and they both have a small scar
to the left of their chin,
365
00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:18,079
from when Blair fell off
her bike last summer.
366
00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:19,664
Boom. I rest my case.
367
00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:26,045
Uh... I'm not seein' it.
368
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:29,966
Yeah. Honey, Shayna has bangs.
369
00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:32,885
(doorbell rings)
370
00:17:35,513 --> 00:17:38,224
Is this where
Shayna Pennsylvania lives?
371
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:42,144
We followed her from the studio.
I want her to sign my face.
372
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,108
You guys have
the wrong house.
373
00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:49,318
Shayna Pennsylvania
doesn't live here.
374
00:17:49,318 --> 00:17:50,861
But we saw her
walk in.
375
00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:53,364
We're gonna camp here
until she comes back out.
376
00:17:53,364 --> 00:17:56,617
Being into
Shayna Pennsylvania
is my entire personality!
377
00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:58,953
(sighs)
Okay.
378
00:17:58,953 --> 00:18:00,663
I'm Shayna Pennsylvania.
379
00:18:00,663 --> 00:18:02,582
No, you're not.
Shayna has bangs.
380
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:05,167
‐(gasps) It's her!
‐(all screaming)
381
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:07,128
Yeah, but this isn't my house.
382
00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:09,005
And I'm asking you all to leave.
383
00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:13,342
‐Ah! Shayna!
‐(all screaming)
384
00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:15,928
Blair, your friends are okay
to hang out on the porch,
385
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:19,682
but they can't be screaming
and aggressively banging
the windows, okay?
386
00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:22,393
Sure thing, Mom.
We were just leaving, anyway.
387
00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:24,478
I left some things at school
I have to get.
388
00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:27,231
Gotta go. Don't ask me
any follow‐up questions.
Bye!
389
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:29,817
(fans screaming)
390
00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:32,653
♪ ♪
391
00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:37,700
(audience cheering)
392
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:40,202
It was fun.
I did not see it coming.
393
00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,999
♪ ♪
394
00:18:44,999 --> 00:18:46,751
Blair, did you hear?
395
00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:49,712
Shayna Pennsylvania
uploaded a video last night,
396
00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:51,464
announcing her retirement.
397
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:52,923
You don't say.
398
00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:57,637
The school's letting us
out early, so we can go home
399
00:18:57,637 --> 00:19:00,097
and cry. (sobbing)
400
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,184
What's the point
of anything anymore?
401
00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:04,977
I'm dropping out
of school!
402
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:08,481
Blair, what's all this about
Shayna Pennsylvania retiring?
403
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:11,901
The label's getting ready
to launch a huge campaign
around you.
404
00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:14,987
I made up my mind.
I can't do this anymore.
405
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:16,947
I don't like lying
to my stepdad.
406
00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:19,158
Fame and fortune
aren't worth hurting him.
407
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:21,744
(mockingly):
Ooh, so you're saying
it wasn't worth it?
408
00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:24,664
You are going up against
Hollywood, Miss Bennett,
409
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:27,166
and Hollywood always wins.
410
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,125
We have a contract.
411
00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:31,212
Oh, yeah. About that.
I looked it up.
412
00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:34,131
Twelve‐year‐olds
aren't supposed to sign
contracts, dude.
413
00:19:34,131 --> 00:19:35,966
And you're not supposed
to be hanging around school
414
00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:37,760
if you don't have a kid
that goes here.
415
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:39,053
So I called security.
416
00:19:39,053 --> 00:19:40,596
This is the guy.
417
00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:45,643
Unhand me! Do you have
any idea who I am?
418
00:19:45,643 --> 00:19:49,188
Yesterday, I had lunch
with Lin Manuel Miranda.
419
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:52,316
‐Thanks for the heads‐up, kid.
‐Don't mention it.
420
00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:56,445
Hey, is there a law against
trying to sell leggings
to kids at school?
421
00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:58,531
Can you get rid
of that guy, too?
422
00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:02,076
Yeah, why not?
We're already down here.
423
00:20:02,076 --> 00:20:04,161
(foghorn blares)
424
00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:07,039
(audience cheering)
425
00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:10,209
‐Announcer:
Last vote, audience.
‐(bell dings)
426
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:13,170
You choose.
How does school security
427
00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:15,923
arrest Mr. Penworth?
428
00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:18,050
Our actors are
leaving the stage
429
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:20,302
so we can prepare your choice.
430
00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:21,887
Vote now.
431
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:23,848
‐(bleating)
‐I think it's all you.
432
00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:26,142
I think it's gonna be
where they take Penworth.
433
00:20:26,142 --> 00:20:28,853
Announcer:
And let's get back
to the scene.
434
00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:31,647
Director:
Action!
435
00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:35,860
We're already down here
and we wanted to test
our new unit: The Guard Goats.
436
00:20:35,860 --> 00:20:38,696
‐(bell dinging)
‐(audience cheering)
437
00:20:38,696 --> 00:20:40,656
Security officer:
Release the goats!
438
00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:43,451
(bleating)
439
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:47,997
(yells) Whoa. Yo.
Easy. Easy. Oh!
440
00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:50,708
Oh, my gosh. They're so cute!
441
00:20:50,708 --> 00:20:52,960
‐(goats bleating)
‐Penworth: Look at this.
442
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,628
Oh! Oh!
443
00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:58,007
‐(audience laughing)
‐(Mr. Penworth yelling)
444
00:20:58,007 --> 00:21:01,010
I surrender. I surrender!
445
00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:04,972
Or, or, or, in your language,
Baaah! Baaah!
446
00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:06,348
Nice work, goats.
447
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:09,059
(audience cheering)
448
00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:13,063
That was humiliating.
449
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,233
‐Let's book him.
‐Aah!
450
00:21:16,233 --> 00:21:17,151
Let's go. Come on.
451
00:21:17,151 --> 00:21:19,487
‐Oh, wow. Aah!
‐Bye, Mr. Penworth.
452
00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:21,113
Have fun at the petting zoo.
453
00:21:23,908 --> 00:21:26,452
Mom. Byron.
What are you doing here?
454
00:21:26,452 --> 00:21:29,455
We were watching the news
and we saw a video of
Shayna Pennsylvania
455
00:21:29,455 --> 00:21:31,415
announcing her retirement.
456
00:21:31,415 --> 00:21:33,292
We know she's you.
457
00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:36,253
(monotonically):
Ow, wow.
458
00:21:38,172 --> 00:21:40,758
How did we not put it together?
459
00:21:42,676 --> 00:21:45,179
So, how'd you figure it out?
460
00:21:45,179 --> 00:21:48,474
Blair, you filmed
the announcement
in your bedroom.
461
00:21:49,767 --> 00:21:51,519
Oh. Right.
462
00:21:51,519 --> 00:21:54,855
I don't understand.
It looks like things
were going great.
463
00:21:54,855 --> 00:21:57,691
So why'd you keep this from us,
and why'd you quit?
464
00:21:57,691 --> 00:21:59,401
Well,
465
00:21:59,401 --> 00:22:02,112
I didn't wanna ditch you
like all your old bandmates.
466
00:22:02,112 --> 00:22:05,407
After all,
family never betrays family.
467
00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:08,118
Whoa, whoa, Blair.
468
00:22:08,118 --> 00:22:10,454
You didn't betray me.
469
00:22:10,454 --> 00:22:13,123
You're my daughter,
and I want the best for you.
470
00:22:13,123 --> 00:22:16,252
I would have been proud of you.
I am proud of you.
471
00:22:20,631 --> 00:22:24,093
Another thing,
Byron and I have been talking,
472
00:22:24,093 --> 00:22:27,012
and we decided to get you
that hypnotism class.
473
00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:29,557
That is so sweet.
474
00:22:29,557 --> 00:22:33,143
But I already used my Shayna
Pennsylvania signing bonus
to pay for the class.
475
00:22:33,143 --> 00:22:34,854
You did what?
476
00:22:34,854 --> 00:22:38,232
Yeah. I've kind of been
using it on you guys,
477
00:22:38,232 --> 00:22:40,317
so that if you ever found out
about my whole secret life,
478
00:22:40,317 --> 00:22:42,945
I could have a trigger word
to make you guys not so upset.
479
00:22:42,945 --> 00:22:46,073
Blair Bennett,
I cannot believe you!
480
00:22:46,073 --> 00:22:48,701
You deliberately
went behind our backs!
481
00:22:48,701 --> 00:22:50,995
‐"Anchovies."
‐But I guess it's not really
that big a deal.
482
00:22:50,995 --> 00:22:54,206
I mean, kids will be kids.
You know what I mean?
483
00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:56,625
And that's our show!
484
00:22:56,625 --> 00:23:00,004
You guys have been
a great crowd!
485
00:23:00,004 --> 00:23:01,422
♪ Na, na, na, na,
na, na, na, na ♪
486
00:23:02,631 --> 00:23:06,051
♪ ♪
487
00:23:10,639 --> 00:23:12,182
♪ Na, na, na, na,
na, na, na, na ♪
488
00:23:16,061 --> 00:23:18,105
♪ Na, na, na, na,
na, na, na, na ♪
489
00:23:20,065 --> 00:23:22,902
♪ ♪
490
00:23:26,572 --> 00:23:28,908
♪ Na, na, na, na,
na, na, na, na ♪
491
00:23:31,493 --> 00:23:34,663
(theme music playing)
492
00:23:43,380 --> 00:23:45,382
♪ ♪