1 00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:05,040 (FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS) 2 00:00:05,080 --> 00:00:08,880 Look at this shit. Back to its former glory. 3 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:10,640 Like a phoenix from the flames. 4 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:13,320 Oh, my God. Tyler's play. Fuck! What time is it? 5 00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:16,480 Where's them dickheads? Oi, oi, Ash? Cardi? 6 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:17,520 Shit. 7 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:19,560 What the fuck's going on here? Nothing. 8 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:21,520 Well, why is all that out? What you watching? 9 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:22,640 It's not doll porn. 10 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:24,920 It has to stop. Last time I am telling yer! 11 00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:27,560 Fucking idiot. We got caught. 12 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:29,600 # The best things In life are free... # 13 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:31,800 We're fucking two wheels in the sand here, we're late! 14 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:33,800 I said we would be. This is your fucking fault... 15 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:37,520 Stop worrying, we'll make it. Honestly... Fuck me. 16 00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:39,680 This play better be fucking good, I tell you what... 17 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:42,920 Who will help me dig the earth? 18 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,440 (LAMB) I won't! (CAT) I won't! 19 00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:45,880 (PIG) I won't! 20 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:47,040 I will do it myself. 21 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:51,280 Who will help me plant this wheat? 22 00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:52,640 I won't! I won't! 23 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:56,800 I won't! Fucking hell. Flat! Fucking pig... 24 00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:58,560 I will do it myself. 25 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:02,800 Who will help me water these seeds? 26 00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:04,560 I won't! I won't! 27 00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:07,760 I won't! That fucking pig... he's really... 28 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:09,440 He's really good. I will do it myself. 29 00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:12,160 (APPLAUSE, CHEERS) 30 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:20,480 All the pupils of year three have all made a special card, 31 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:23,120 to show how much we love... (CHILDREN) You. 32 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:27,360 They each have a special message inside for the people we love. 33 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:31,400 (APPLAUSE) 34 00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:34,520 Daddy. Daddy. Oh, thanks, buddy. 35 00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:35,960 That's lovely. 36 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:38,840 Come here and give me a love. Oh, you are getting heavy. 37 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:41,720 Mummy. Oh, you were so bloody good. 38 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:46,960 Who was the pig? You were a lot better than the pig. 39 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:48,520 I thought the pig was lacklustre. 40 00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:53,000 Ashley, what's going on? Are you alright? 41 00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:55,720 You might wanna put that out... 42 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:57,760 Sorry... ..it's a school. 43 00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:59,320 It's just my father. 44 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:02,720 I've been thinking about him a lot, since Mammy went back to Ireland. 45 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:05,080 All this, like... 46 00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:09,760 ..I never had any of that, let alone the people in the seats. 47 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:10,920 Do you miss him? 48 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:13,160 No, not Daddy, no, not that arsehole. 49 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:16,680 My actual REAL dad. 50 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:22,560 Look at me, lads, I don't look anything like the others. 51 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:25,760 Mammy was adamant. Every time I asked her. 52 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:29,160 We all had the same dad. Daddy. 53 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:30,320 Fucked if he's my dad. 54 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:32,880 Cause she'd have to admit to having an affair. 55 00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:36,000 Yeah, but I don't care. Sure, I'm a grown adult, like... 56 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:37,920 I don't care what she did. 57 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:40,760 Hang on... 58 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,520 We're were gonna tell you at the pub tonight. 59 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:46,080 Err, me and Carol, cos... 60 00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:48,160 we're getting married again. (GASPS) 61 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:50,360 N‐Niall is gonna be there. 62 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:52,320 He knows all the family secrets, doesn't he? 63 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:55,520 So... We could just, like, ambush him 64 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:57,600 and get him to tell you the truth. 65 00:02:57,640 --> 00:02:59,360 That's a fucking good idea. 66 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:01,760 Niall, he gets really weird, anything to do with my mammy. 67 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:04,560 Now, listen, there isn't a day goes by 68 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:07,520 where I don't think about my mum leaving me, man, honestly... 69 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:08,760 she's out there somewhere. 70 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:12,000 I mean, if you find your dad, he could be a massive knob head, 71 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:14,040 but at least we tried, y'know? 72 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:16,480 Yeah? Yeah? Yeah! Yeah! 73 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:22,160 (CALM, CHILLED MUSIC) 74 00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:27,760 Go on, sod off. 75 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:30,880 (SLIDING DOOR GRINDS) 76 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:33,960 (SIGHS) 77 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,480 You're still his Uncle Dylan. 78 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:41,600 Look, you are just as important to him now 79 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,640 as you ever fucking were, man. 80 00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:44,680 I know. 81 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:51,440 What the fuck's going on with you, man? 82 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:52,760 I'm fine. 83 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,120 Fuck off. 84 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:57,800 Talk to me! I'm fine. 85 00:03:57,840 --> 00:03:59,680 I... (SCOFFS) 86 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:02,320 I dunno, I'm just... 87 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:08,200 I dunno, just, it feels like... 88 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:12,840 ..you've got, you've got something I had. 89 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:14,440 Y'know? 90 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:17,440 I was, I was kind of his dad, y'know, and now... 91 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:20,200 You still are his fucking dad, dude. I'm not his dad. I am not his dad. 92 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:23,360 She, she got rid of my kid, 93 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:26,760 and I know that sounds like a fucking broken record... 94 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:31,120 but it's hard, alright. It is fucking hard... 95 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:34,200 ..to forgive her for that. Yeah. 96 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:40,520 Y'know, I just... that's some sort of irony... 97 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:44,160 Y'know, stop shagging round and just... 98 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:47,200 ..y'know, find someone I can have a life with, because... 99 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:51,080 You're right. You do need to fucking sort yourself out. I agree. 100 00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:52,880 But I am telling you now, man, 101 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:57,520 with no agenda at all, that fucking boy adores you. 102 00:04:57,560 --> 00:04:59,840 Do you understand? 103 00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:03,520 That card there is for both of us. It's not just mine, man. 104 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:06,640 Now stop having sex with random strangers. 105 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:08,720 You're gonna get fucking chlamydia. 106 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:10,360 Again. Give me a love. 107 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:13,760 (LAUGHS HEARTILY) 108 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:16,880 # You don't have to say you love me 109 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:18,440 # Just be close at hand. # 110 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:20,360 To Carol and Cardi! 111 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:23,000 (ALL) Cardi and Carol. (CHEERS) 112 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:24,080 Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. 113 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:26,520 It doesn't mean we've gotta steal another wedding, does it? 114 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:28,120 I don't think I can do that again... No. 115 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:30,720 We're keeping this one real simple. Registry office, booze up, 116 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:32,560 then a honeymoon on Three Eyed Pete's barge. 117 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:33,920 Three Eyed Pete? Fuck me. 118 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,520 I thought he went to prison for flashing his knob on the tow path? 119 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:38,240 He did, that's why the barge is available. 120 00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:39,560 (LAUGHTER) 121 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:42,400 Congratulations. Thanks. Second time lucky, innit! 122 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:45,840 Does he get a plus one, for the wedding reception? 123 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:47,520 Err, yes, certainly. Yes. 124 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:50,240 I'm only joking, unless you want me to come, 125 00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:52,840 I mean, I'd love to, I do love a wedding. 126 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:54,320 He would love you to come with him, 127 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:56,360 he's just brutal at talking to girls. 128 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:58,680 Great. Well, look forward to it. 129 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:01,120 Alright, yeah. Fucking hell. 130 00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:02,680 (WHOOPS) 131 00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:04,280 Stop wooing me, dudes. 132 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:05,880 She's into you something fierce, Vin. 133 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:08,840 No. No. It just feels a bit inappropriate 134 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:11,440 going to a wedding for a first date, dude. Very intense. 135 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:14,800 Here, look, Niall's on his own over there, will you talk to him? 136 00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:19,240 # You don't have to stay forever I will understand... # 137 00:06:19,280 --> 00:06:22,800 Alright, Erin. Alright, Mick. 138 00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:24,520 I hear you and Dylan aren't together? 139 00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:26,200 Yeah, you heard right. 140 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:29,800 Well, you're in luck! I'm single, as it goes. 141 00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:32,760 Bird I was seeing pissed off to Whitley Bay. 142 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,000 Right. Why Whitley? 143 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:38,080 God knows. Must have fancied moving down South. 144 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:41,520 It's up North. It's near Newcastle. 145 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:44,400 Is it? Yeah. 146 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:46,960 Bitch told me it was on the East coast. 147 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,680 It is, it's the North East. 148 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:50,920 North East? 149 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:55,360 Didn't know the North East had a coast. 150 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:57,920 (CHEERS, APPLAUSE) 151 00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,640 (ELVIS VOICE) Thank you very much. 152 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:01,880 Here he is, big lad. How are you keeping? 153 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:03,560 Hi, Vinnie. You're looking well now. 154 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:04,600 Quick chat with yer? 155 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:06,960 Been a bit worried about our Ashley recently. 156 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,880 He seems a bit down in the dumps. 157 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:10,840 Anyway... 158 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:13,320 I think I've found out why. It's his dad. 159 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:15,640 What about his dad? He's just wondering what's going on. 160 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:18,320 He knows he don't look like the rest of yous, y'know... 161 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:20,720 What are you talking about? Not the same da as the rest of us? 162 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:22,600 Let's be grown ups. He's mixed race, in't he. 163 00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:24,960 Vinnie, you're talking shite. I'm not talking shite. 164 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:28,240 He's fucking definitely mixed race. Vinnie, that's enough. 165 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:31,120 Niall, he is not bothered, he's not angry, or owt, 166 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:32,680 he just wants to meet his real dad. 167 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:35,520 You saying my mother had an extra marital affair? 168 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:37,560 Is that what you're suggesting, Vincent O'Neil, 169 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:40,040 that my mother cheated on her loving husband with a black man. 170 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:41,440 He didn't love her. 171 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:44,080 Dude, he used to press his dick up against the fucking bus window, 172 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:46,320 remember when we drove past... How fucking dare you? 173 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:48,160 Niall! What's he said? 174 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:49,680 What have you said? Nothing. 175 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:51,720 Let me hit him. No, listen, I've already hit him. 176 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:53,320 Fucking ring caught me on't lip, dude. 177 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:54,360 We're going. 178 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:56,680 Not standing here being insulted by this baldy bastard. 179 00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:58,520 Sorry, man. I didn't mean to upset anyone. 180 00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:01,000 Oh, you fucker. Prick. 181 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:03,000 That's just... Fuck me. 182 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:04,640 My fucking lip and dick. 183 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:07,840 How did it go over there? I got hit, twice. 184 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:09,360 Oh, I need to be sick. 185 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:11,200 (COUGHS) See you at the wedding. 186 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:18,280 (TENSE, SLOW MUSIC) 187 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:28,760 (SCREAMS) 188 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:29,800 Erin! (SCREAMS) 189 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:33,440 It's only me, I'm free. 190 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:36,520 Ja‐rasta‐fary. Yes, blessed I am. 191 00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:40,200 You stupid fucking bastard. What, did I scare you? 192 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:44,200 # Oh, Danny Boy 193 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:49,040 # The pipes, the pipes are calling 194 00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:53,160 # From glen to glen... # Ash. 195 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:58,200 You're my brother, right. No matter what, you're my brother. 196 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:03,360 But you know the rules, we don't go delving in the past. OK? 197 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:09,760 You didn't get that from me. 198 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:26,000 You're shit in a bucket, Anthony, that's what we call you, int it? 199 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:27,120 Shit in a bucket! 200 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:29,120 And I've heard what you've been saying 201 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:31,960 about your lady fighting me, ha‐ha... 202 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,920 I don't know, man. What's the deal? 203 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:36,520 Why do you think Niall's telling us go visit your Aunty Pat? 204 00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:38,880 Don't think that's your dad, do yer? I'd thought about it. 205 00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:40,560 Do you think I look like him? 206 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,720 ..you fucking shit in a bucket... 207 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:45,440 I don't fucking know, I mean, Tyler's my little lad. 208 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:46,960 Y'know, do I look anything like him? 209 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:48,240 No. No. No. Exactly. 210 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:50,400 No, he's a terrific looking boy. He is, y'know... 211 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:54,760 Well, he is, in't he? That bone structure. 212 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:57,640 That's all his mum. I was a cute baby. Everyone said. 213 00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,400 Everyone said that, did they? Everyone? 214 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:01,920 Dickhead, listen to this... 215 00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:05,640 Ashley, I was involved in a very prestigious award at Hawley fair 216 00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:06,960 when I was just 12 months old. 217 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,160 Guess what the award was? Go on. 218 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:12,200 Beautiful baby competition, it was. I won the fucking thing. 219 00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:14,440 No way! Now, who told you that, eh? 220 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:15,920 Huh? 221 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:19,720 Obviously you can't remember it, so who told you? 222 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:20,960 My dad. Your dad told you?! 223 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,640 Yeah. Because he used to fucking gamble 224 00:10:22,680 --> 00:10:24,360 and I didn't like it and I'd have a go at him. 225 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:27,240 He'd say, "Shut up Vincent, you've gotta be in it to win it... 226 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:29,400 "look at you, and that..." 227 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,680 You and that beautiful baby competition. 228 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:34,920 Just fuck off, dude. Shit. Ha‐ha! 229 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:35,960 Shit. 230 00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:47,120 Ronnie. 231 00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:50,560 Right, sit up, 'ere. (STRETCHES) 232 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:54,360 Come on, Erin, can your brother not just get the sleep he needs? 233 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:56,240 Ronnie, sit the fuck up, it's burning my hand. 234 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:57,800 Fucking hell. For God's sake. Ow. 235 00:10:57,840 --> 00:10:59,840 (SNORTS) 236 00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:02,640 That's an alright brew, that, Ezzo. Mmm. 237 00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:04,880 You're still a Buddhist then I take it? 238 00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:08,040 Buddhist? Oh, come on, Erin. Labels man. Labels. Labels. Labels. 239 00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:10,560 I've had enough of them. I've had 'em all my life, man. 240 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:13,440 People go, "Oh, Ronnie, he's rubbish." 241 00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:15,680 "Ronnie is fucking thick." 242 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:20,280 "Ronnie is a feckless, violent, aggressive thief..." 243 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:23,440 You are all them things though. That... I WAS Erin. 244 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:26,040 W to the O to the S. WAS. 245 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,160 So, what I'm gonna do is... Go on... 246 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:31,200 ..I'm gonna prove to you, Erin, that I can... 247 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:32,560 I can make a go of things. 248 00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:35,520 Turn things around without having to resort to like, erm... 249 00:11:35,560 --> 00:11:37,840 Oh, what's the fucking word... 250 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:40,680 rather than kicking someone's head in and taking the money. 251 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:41,840 How you gonna do that? Easy. 252 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:44,280 Get a job. Yeah! 253 00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:46,280 Earn money, legit vibes, 254 00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:49,520 and then fuck off to Ireland and hook up... 255 00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:51,880 Do you remember Donal McGuinness? The extortionist? 256 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,600 Not anymore, he runs a guest house in Cork, 257 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:56,640 but he's looking for a fucking sous chef. A‐ha, hello. 258 00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:57,920 And that's you, is it? 259 00:11:57,960 --> 00:12:00,320 Erin, have you not seen me? I'm a fucking whizz with the wok. 260 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:02,760 When I was inside, everyone used to call me 'Ronnie The Wok'. 261 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:04,840 Yeah, "Ronnie Wok Wok. Ronnie go chop chop." 262 00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:06,480 "Foo Young Croft," they used to call me. 263 00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:08,960 "Char Sui Ronnie," big style, yeah. 264 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:12,360 I'm turning, I'm turning, I'm turning over a new leaf. 265 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:14,440 There you go. Well done. Thank you very much. 266 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:16,080 OK. Alright. Well, you can't stay here. 267 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:18,200 What? Right, one... 268 00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:20,200 I've got a paying lodger. Shugs. Yeah. 269 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,520 Two, I got an eight‐year‐old, that doesn't need the bad influence 270 00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:26,120 from his lazy, thieving uncle, that's why. 271 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:30,840 So, who's got a fucking spare room then? 272 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:33,120 Do I look like a fucking halfway house 273 00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:35,760 for the waifs and strays of society? 274 00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:38,840 Bleeding heart liberals chucking open their doors 275 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:42,280 to every daft cunt with a sob story. 276 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:43,680 (WHIMPERS) 277 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:45,920 Oh, they had a bad upbringing. 278 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:49,200 Oh, they were molested by their Uncle Philip. 279 00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:52,440 Oh, they've got, um, connection issues. 280 00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:55,200 Fuck off! 281 00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:57,240 They're selfish robbing twats, 282 00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:59,800 never done a decent days work in their lives. 283 00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:02,640 And you can send as many fucking theatre workshops 284 00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:04,600 as you like into prisons, 285 00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:09,680 they're not gonna come out quoting Romeo and cunting Juliet. 286 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:12,240 Is that a yes, or a no? 287 00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:13,520 Argh! 288 00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:14,560 (THUMP) 289 00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:16,760 (SLAP) 290 00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:20,920 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYS) 291 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,560 Go on! 292 00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:31,160 (THUMP) 293 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:32,840 Christ. 294 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,720 I know how he feels. 295 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:38,400 That there, that's how life is treating me at the moment. 296 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:39,560 Argh! 297 00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:46,720 (ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES) 298 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:51,600 Shame. Hm. 299 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:57,440 Hard luck there, Auntie Pat. Hey, alright, young Ashley. 300 00:13:57,480 --> 00:13:59,400 Where you been? I didn't see you in the crowd. 301 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:00,800 Too busy hiding behind my hands. 302 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,280 (LAUGHS) Good man. 303 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,480 Remind me. I'm Vinnie. 304 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:08,120 I was that big last time you seen me, Pat. 305 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:11,440 Tommo. I don't think we've met. Ah, you look familiar. 306 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:13,720 Didn't you used to run the Rat and Cutter. 307 00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:15,960 Hey, hey, hey, that is fake news, pal, that is. 308 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:19,920 I still run it. I'm the proprietor, I'm the fucking visionary. 309 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,240 Yeah, last Christmas party, 310 00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:22,840 didn't you play one of the horny Elves? 311 00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:25,920 (VINNIE CLEARS THROAT) 312 00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:30,960 Is he alright? Yeah. Yeah. Sensitive. 313 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:33,640 Here he is. Brews up. 314 00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:35,920 Thanks, Auntie. Thank you. No problem. 315 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:38,160 Go on, get that down yer. Nice one, mate. 316 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:39,840 Now then... 317 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,960 what are you all doing here then, eh? 318 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,400 I am sensing this isn't just a social visit. 319 00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:45,920 It's not really, no. 320 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:48,360 I mean, fuck it, let's just come straight out with it. 321 00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:51,000 His mam is saying that Der... 322 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:55,680 Diarmuid. Diarmuid is his real dad, right? 323 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:58,680 Same as his brothers, but that can't be true, y'know? 324 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:01,400 So, we've come to you to see what you know, man. 325 00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:02,440 Why me? 326 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:04,760 You were always around when we were growing up. 327 00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:06,600 You know Mammy well. 328 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:08,600 You know she was no saint. She liked the dick. 329 00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:11,080 OK. But don't well all, eh? 330 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:13,320 I'm not gay, but I'll suck a dick every now and again. 331 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:15,440 And I like wearing dresses, you know, 332 00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:17,120 but I wouldn't want my langer cutting off 333 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:19,120 like that sex change lot. Mmm. 334 00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:21,680 I knew this guy from the community had surgery, 335 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:24,760 and when it finished he asked for his... her balls back, 336 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:26,080 had them set in a paperweight. 337 00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:28,160 I said, "Why did you get them set in a paperweight?" 338 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,760 When does paper ever blow away? Fair point. 339 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:32,560 She says she sometimes works in the garden, 340 00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:34,280 it can get windy, y'know, so I said, 341 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,600 "I'll build you a bigger fence, make it a sun trap". 342 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:37,720 The thing with Dad... 343 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,960 She's got a beautiful garden. God, you should see it. 344 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,160 She's got Campanula Muralis, it's dead hard to grow. 345 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:44,960 Forms this dense mat of foliage... Pat! Pat! Pat! 346 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,120 Sorry, Bredrin, I'm just gonna stop you right there. 347 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:48,440 It sounds like a sick garden, 348 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,120 but you might be a bit concussed, lad. 349 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,680 (FLINCHES) I won't know for a while yet. 350 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:54,000 Listen, Pat... 351 00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:57,320 ..you are essentially part of the family. 352 00:15:57,360 --> 00:16:00,880 You were always drinking with Daddy, or having a crack with Mammy. 353 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:02,680 Dancing around in the kitchen. 354 00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:05,640 There was a couple of nights there where you'd sleep over. 355 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,280 Do you see what I am saying? Oh, son... 356 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:12,240 ..I wish I could help. 357 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:14,280 I mean, I know she used to like to have affairs, 358 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:17,160 her little comfort flings, as she used to call them... 359 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:18,480 (GIGGLES) 360 00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:20,560 ..but who with, I don't know, 361 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:22,440 and which, if any, is your real dad... 362 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,520 No bother. Sorry about that. 363 00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:29,520 Right. Gents, on that note, I am having a slash. 364 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:31,760 Yeah, knock yourself out, horny elf. 365 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:34,160 Come on, you lot, let's talk about something happier. 366 00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:40,240 (SLOW, MELLOW MUSIC) 367 00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:57,760 It's private. Put it back. 368 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,880 I'm telling you now, there's summat in them photo albums 369 00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:08,520 he doesn't want us to see. Like what? 370 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,720 Like photos of him and your mum together? 371 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:14,120 Or a photo of him as a young lad, thirty years ago, 372 00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:15,400 looking a bit like yourself. 373 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:18,040 Right, lads, we need to get those photo albums. 374 00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:19,200 (DOOR BANGS) 375 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:23,640 (BRAKES SCREECH, HANDBRAKE CRUNCHES) 376 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:26,440 Vin? What? 377 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:28,720 What's going on with you and that barmaid then, hey? 378 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:32,360 # Vinnie and Sammy sittin' in a tree 379 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:34,960 # K i s s... # Very mature. 380 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,760 Stuck on K, love? (LAUGHS) 381 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:41,080 Listen, hey, I like her... 382 00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:44,680 I'm terrified. Fuck's sake. I am not used to girls liking me. 383 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:47,000 Last pair of knockers I saw were big Sandy's, 384 00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:50,280 and she had, she had rigor mortis. It was still standing up. 385 00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:53,720 Are you proper into her then? Yeah, I am actually. 386 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:55,600 It's a worry though, man, y'know. 387 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:57,800 Oof, is that Pat? That is Pat. 388 00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:01,360 Oi, come here. What have you to do? Err... Follow him. 389 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:03,680 Make sure he doesn't come back early. 390 00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:06,440 Correct. And you follow him at what? 391 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,160 S‐subtle distance. Good lad! 392 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:11,480 Right, now listen to me. 393 00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:14,080 He's probably going to the boozer, so get yourself a pint. 394 00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:15,480 Is that all? Sod off! 395 00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:16,520 Bye, Cardi. 396 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:19,160 Great (!) 397 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:22,000 Get your shit together. 398 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:27,120 Ashley, what do you think they'll do if we get caught? 399 00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:30,880 If any travellers do catch us, they'll just cut off our toes. 400 00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:35,440 Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck, fuck. 401 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:37,960 Who goes there? Shit! 402 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:41,920 Is there someone back there? Fuck! 403 00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:45,200 (TOMMO MEOWS) 404 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:51,680 (MEOWS) 405 00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:53,160 Fucking cats. 406 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:55,880 # Memory... # 407 00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:58,280 He's fucked off. That worked. 408 00:18:58,320 --> 00:18:59,760 Do you wanna hear my baby lamb? 409 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,560 No. Another time. Come on. Let's get the fuck out of here. 410 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:10,720 (MUMBLING, CURSING) 411 00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:12,840 I didn't know you were going there, you fucking... 412 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:14,200 Shit, dude. 413 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:17,800 (THUD) 414 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:19,760 My fucking appendix, dude. Jesus Christ! 415 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:21,200 (MUMBLES) 416 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,160 ..fucking walnuts... You been going to the gym? 417 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,400 Yep, you're feeling very lean yourself. 418 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:28,000 We were worried about you for a while there, weren't we, Tommo? 419 00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:29,640 Shoes! What? 420 00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:31,760 We've just broke through the fucking window, dude. 421 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:35,280 This is Auntie Pat's house. Have a bit of respect. Shoes! 422 00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:36,880 Christ, mate. 423 00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:41,440 # MICHAEL KIWANUKA: You Ain't The Problem # 424 00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:54,720 Fuck it. 425 00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:58,480 Well, blood and sand, look at this, dude. 426 00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:00,800 Hey, we've got something here, man. 427 00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:03,240 Look at the state of that. What is it? 428 00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:06,400 It's Auntie Pat having a smooch up with your mammy 429 00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:09,600 and a selfie before selfies were even fucking selfies. 430 00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,280 Don't get carried away, right. It's just a kiss. 431 00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:14,960 You know, you kiss Cardi, don't you? Friends kiss friends. 432 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,640 What I am saying is, all it is, is it's, err, just a... 433 00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:20,320 Doh... OK, that's summat else... 434 00:20:20,360 --> 00:20:22,680 They are my mammy's boobs that you are looking at. 435 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:24,040 Not just the boobs, sweetheart. 436 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:25,960 Bloody hell, it's like an angry badger. 437 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,920 I came out of that. 438 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,320 How, did you have a machete? (CHUCKLES) 439 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:35,280 (SLURPS) 440 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,040 (GIGGLES) 441 00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:42,720 (CHUCKLES) Go on. 442 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:49,680 Fuck! 443 00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:55,360 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 444 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:05,800 (QUIETLY) Hello? 445 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:12,440 Oh! No, no, it's not what it looks like... 446 00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:21,600 There's flashlights in there, Pat. 447 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:24,240 Will I come in there with you? Yeah, come in with me. 448 00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:26,240 And will I bring my nunchucks? 449 00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:29,680 You might as well now they're in your hands. 450 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,960 Don't fucking move, or I'll take your fucking heads! 451 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,160 Ashley. Yer alright, Pat? 452 00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:39,960 Argh, you bleedin' know them? I do. 453 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,880 But I don't know why the fuck they are in my fucking caravan. 454 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:44,000 Can we explain? 455 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:47,160 Fair play to them for taking off their shoes. Respect. 456 00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:52,160 I'm not proud of myself, but, yeah, me and your mum we... 457 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:54,960 We had a thing. What more can I tell yer? 458 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,760 Life happens. 459 00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:01,280 But I can tell you this. Hand on heart... 460 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:03,760 ..I'm not your daddy. 461 00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:06,440 How's that then? 462 00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:11,440 I ain't got no seed. 463 00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:16,000 I found out years ago when I was with my Martha. 464 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:22,080 It's probably what tore us apart in the end. 465 00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:26,280 That and the dick sucking. Mmm. 466 00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:29,760 That's it then, isn't it? I'm never gonna find out! 467 00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:32,520 Shit, man. Maybe it's for the best, y'know. 468 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:35,640 Maybe we ought to let sleeping dogs lie on this one. 469 00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:38,560 If it's any conciliation, I don't see my parents either. 470 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:43,360 Mainly their decision, but, err... (INHALES DEEPLY) 471 00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:45,080 ..I'm good with it. 472 00:22:45,120 --> 00:22:46,920 Actually, there is one thing you could try. 473 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:48,760 Yeah? Yeah. Your brother Niall. 474 00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:50,720 Yeah? He knows all the family history. 475 00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:51,960 We've tried Niall. 476 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,440 He punched me in my fucking lip and Mick clipped my dick. 477 00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:55,880 You know what he's like. 478 00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:58,200 What you've got to do is get him off his face. 479 00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:00,280 Years ago we had this Easter Egg hunt on the site 480 00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:03,000 for all the kiddies, y'know. We thought, let's jazz it up a bit, 481 00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:04,880 make it a bit more interesting for us lot, 482 00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:07,480 so we had an Easter EGG‐stacy hunt, right? 483 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,400 Thousands of pills all over the site. 484 00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:12,680 Your brother Niall, well, he found too many, didn't he. 485 00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:15,480 The stories he was spewing out of his mouth, oh, my, good days... 486 00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:17,240 Fair enough, so we need to slip him an E. 487 00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:18,720 How the fuck... Let's see. 488 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:20,840 If you could get him to an event, y'know, 489 00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:23,680 somewhere where you could spike his drink. 490 00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:25,480 S‐sorry. 491 00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:28,120 Sorry, guys. Sorry, I... 492 00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:34,560 Cardi's wedding. Yeah. Cardi's wedding. Yeah. 493 00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:38,040 # When you feel so clean 494 00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:41,960 # And the soap smells serene 495 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:46,400 # And you step right into a... # 496 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:50,920 What the fuck are you doing? 497 00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:53,480 What the fuck does it look like, Jim? 498 00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:55,680 You're fucking... pleasuring yourself. 499 00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:57,960 And if you are, DON'T! 500 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,440 What, you think you can tell Ronnie Croft what to do? 501 00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:02,200 Look, if I want to wank, Jim, 502 00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:03,960 I'll wank meself into oblivion, mate. 503 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:05,720 I'll be like a fire hydrant going off. 504 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:06,760 I'm two rooms away. 505 00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:08,600 I don't like the idea that you're in here, 506 00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:12,520 whazzing yourself off to fucking bukkake, or gonzo, 507 00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:15,160 or whatever disgusting shit that you're into. 508 00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:18,040 Bukkake? Bukkake? Don't play the innocent with me. 509 00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:19,840 I've no idea, mate, like, none. 510 00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:21,920 The woman's on her fucking knees... Yeah? 511 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,400 ..and two blokes are jetting themselves off all over her. 512 00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:26,040 (LAUGHING) 513 00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:28,080 You seem to know a fucking lot about it, son. 514 00:24:28,120 --> 00:24:30,560 I'm a man of the fucking world. 515 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:33,240 I'm an Englishman, with an Englishman's brain. 516 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:36,560 And an Englishman's... Taste in porn, go on. 517 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:40,600 I am not standing here, in a towel, in my spare room 518 00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:43,880 discussing bukkake with the likes of you. 519 00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:45,640 I'm off to a wedding bash. 520 00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:48,480 Woah‐woah‐woah! Just fucking woah, Jimberee. 521 00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:52,760 What wedding, which wedding bash? Nosy shot the Crow. 522 00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:54,720 (CHUCKLES) Oh, fuck... 523 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:56,640 Come on! 524 00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:58,160 (CHEERS) 525 00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:00,560 # RAY CHARLES: Hallelujah, I Love Her So # 526 00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:03,520 # She's my baby And she lives next door 527 00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:06,880 # Every morning When the sun comes up 528 00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:09,400 # She brings me coffee In my favourite cup 529 00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:12,280 # That's why I know, yes, I know 530 00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:16,440 # Hallelujah, I just love her so 531 00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:19,520 # When I'm in trouble And I have no friend 532 00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:23,000 # I know she'll go with me Until the end 533 00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:26,200 # Everybody ask me how I know... # Oh, fuck! 534 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:28,680 # I smile at them and say "She told me so" 535 00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:31,600 # That's why I know, oh, I know... # Well... 536 00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:35,000 Frosty the snowman upstaging the bride. 537 00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:36,880 You look amazing. You too. 538 00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:38,560 You scrub up really well, don't ya? 539 00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:40,960 That's, fucking, "scrub up really well?!" 540 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:42,320 Relax, Vin. 541 00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:45,000 Cool. 542 00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:46,800 We might get on, we might not. 543 00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:48,960 We're just two people who like the look of each other, 544 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:50,120 going to a party. Uh‐hm. 545 00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:52,480 Come on, get me pissed. 546 00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:54,360 He the best you can do? Shit! 547 00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:55,840 Mental weed dealer. 548 00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:58,720 Samantha, this is Carl Slater. 549 00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:01,360 He, uh, went to school with me, didn't you, mate. 550 00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:03,840 Detective Slater. 551 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:06,440 Carl Slater as in 'Carl Slater bums dogs'? 552 00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:08,000 The very same. Yes. 553 00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:13,360 Don't get too attached, Samantha, he's going to prison soon. 554 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:15,520 And that's a promise, not a threat. 555 00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:18,560 (TYRES SCREECH, CAR STALLS) Oh... 556 00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:21,160 Oh‐ho‐ho! 557 00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:23,360 Oh, dear God! (LAUGHS) 558 00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:26,920 He's struggling. 559 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:28,400 Oh, dear... Do you know what I mean?! 560 00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:31,160 # BLOOD, SWEAT AND TEARS: You've Made Me So Very Happy # 561 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:34,080 # You touched my very soul 562 00:26:34,120 --> 00:26:36,880 # You always showed me that 563 00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:39,440 # Loving you was where it's at 564 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:42,640 # You made me so 565 00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:45,640 # Very happy 566 00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:48,360 # I'm so glad you 567 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:54,160 # Came into my life... # 568 00:26:57,360 --> 00:27:00,080 (DISCO MUSIC) 569 00:27:00,120 --> 00:27:02,800 Now make sure Niall doesn't take the wrong glass, alright?! 570 00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:04,840 Ashley, do I look like a fucking amateur? 571 00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:06,320 I have been spiking peoples drink's 572 00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:08,120 since I was in short trousers, sweetheart. 573 00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,360 Think on, it's him with the special glass. 574 00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:13,120 I'm just saying, who collects your rubbish? 575 00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:17,480 Who fixes your fucking street lights? 576 00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:22,000 You might not use the schools, or like the fucking police 577 00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:25,240 but that doesn't mean you can't pay your taxes. 578 00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:26,400 You get the fuck away from me 579 00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:28,040 before I punch you in your stupid mouth. 580 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,560 Ha! Violence you see! 581 00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:32,560 They say it's a cliche, 582 00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:35,680 but you fucking travellers solve everything with... 583 00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:37,720 Ah... Fuck! 584 00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:40,960 Prick! Oh, thanks. H‐h‐hey... 585 00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:44,120 Fucking hell... Your sister went and necked it. 586 00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:45,400 What did I fucking say? 587 00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:47,280 You better have more of that stuff, Tommo. 588 00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:48,640 Ashley. Ashley, I have got more. 589 00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:50,360 I have got enough to sink a fucking camel. 590 00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,560 The point is I've wasted it on your sister. 591 00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:55,600 Hi... I'm Erin. 592 00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:57,480 Samantha. Hi. 593 00:27:57,520 --> 00:27:59,440 You Tyler's mum? Yeah. 594 00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:01,160 He's gorgeous. 595 00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:02,880 And you run this place now, don't you? 596 00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:04,560 Yeah, yeah. 597 00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:06,600 Well, it's a means to an end, y'know. 598 00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:09,040 Bigger plans and all that. Yeah. 599 00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:11,920 I thought it shut down, how did you get it open so quickly? 600 00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:16,600 Err... just sorted the license and stuff, yeah, not a big deal. 601 00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,320 Must cost a bit though, running a club, 602 00:28:20,360 --> 00:28:22,040 how do you afford it? 603 00:28:23,360 --> 00:28:24,400 I got a bank loan. 604 00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:26,480 (DISCO MUSIC) Yeah! 605 00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:29,480 Aw, for fuck sake... Excuse me. 606 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:32,440 Lads, Champagne. 607 00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:35,000 Down the hatch and let the good times roll. 608 00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:38,240 Didn't you used to run this place? I still do, you prick! 609 00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:45,280 What the fuck are you doing here? 610 00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:47,520 I'm a pleasure magnet, Erin. What do you expect? 611 00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:49,680 I am a party popper. 247 365. 612 00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:52,480 Do you know what I'm like, actually? A moth. 613 00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:54,640 I'm like a fucking moth. I'm drawn... (WHISTLES) 614 00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:57,040 like a... What are they drawn too? Flame. 615 00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:59,480 A Flame? It's not a flame. Is it a flame? 616 00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:00,720 It is a flame. Stupid pricks. 617 00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:02,400 Do they not burn themselves all the time? 618 00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:04,400 No wonder they are like that? Yes, often. 619 00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:07,040 You're a moth aren't you, Ronnie. Alright, you big dickhead? 620 00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:08,680 Hiya, mate. You listen to me now, right. 621 00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:10,600 You do not make a nuisance of yourself in here. 622 00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:13,040 I am not gonna make a nuisance... Ronnie, I'm being serious. 623 00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:15,520 Yeah, I'm being deadly... Is that a fucking fella in a dress? 624 00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:17,200 Oi! Oi! Oi... 625 00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:21,360 Knobhead. You can say that again. 626 00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:23,920 Knobhead. 627 00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:29,400 (DANCE MUSIC) 628 00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:35,560 (GROWLS, LAUGHS) 629 00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:39,280 (CLEARS THROAT) Sorry there, um... 630 00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:41,200 I couldn't borrow him for a moment, could I? 631 00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:43,560 Yeah, be my guest, need a pee anyway. 632 00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:46,360 Showtime, Vin. Huh? 633 00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:47,680 Showtime. Shit... 634 00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:48,880 Where is he? He's over there. 635 00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:52,200 Oh, fucking hell. He's off his head. What's the strength of the gear? 636 00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:53,880 I had some last Christmas, 637 00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:55,680 tried to get my trousers off over my head. 638 00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:57,960 Just give it a go, will you? Oh, here, now... 639 00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,600 Fucking hell. Shit, dude. Hey up, Niall, big lad, oi. 640 00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:02,840 Come out and have a spliff with me, dude. 641 00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:04,880 (LOUD KISS) 642 00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:06,640 I'm twatted. Alright. 643 00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:09,240 So, fucking twatted. Yes. Ouch! 644 00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:11,680 Fuck! 645 00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:25,840 Ah, Vinnie. Vinnie, come here to me. 646 00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:27,880 I'm sorry I was a twat in the pub, y'know. 647 00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:31,520 It's OK. Cardi told me what you said. 648 00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:32,560 There's not a day goes by 649 00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:35,560 you don't think about your mammy walking out on you. 650 00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:39,320 She'll be ashamed of herself leaving you behind like that. 651 00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:41,400 It's alright. It was a long time ago, wasn't it?! 652 00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:43,920 No. She hurt you so much. 653 00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:47,960 She broke your heart, and she broke my mammy's heart too. 654 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:50,400 Eh? She loved him Vinnie. 655 00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:53,560 I know she was married, but, oh, God, she loved him. 656 00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:56,080 Who did she love? Tyrone. 657 00:30:57,240 --> 00:30:59,120 Who's Tyrone? Tyrone Carver. 658 00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:02,160 He worked on the fairs. He was a beautiful man. 659 00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:03,800 He's the one that gave her Ashley. 660 00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:07,760 Hang on, I don't understand. How's... 661 00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:10,680 How's my mum broke your mum's heart? I don't get it?! 662 00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:12,400 She stole him. What?! 663 00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:16,000 Your mammy stole Tyrone Carver off my mammy. 664 00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:18,760 And I, you know, your ma, I know she had her bothers, Vinnie, 665 00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:20,920 but she was beautiful and fun and she turned his head. 666 00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:23,040 My ma couldn't complain, because she was married, 667 00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:24,480 but, Jesus, Vinnie, she loved him. 668 00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:26,840 My mum, my mum, yeah, 669 00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:29,920 she ran off with fucking Tyrone Carver? 670 00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:33,000 And that's‐that's Ashley's dad, innit? Yeah? 671 00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:36,240 Where the fuck did they go? On the road. With the fair. 672 00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:38,960 And then word come back now and again about them, rumours. 673 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:41,360 But then she got the word, that he'd died. Heart attack. 674 00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:42,960 What the fuck? What about me mum? 675 00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,640 Oh, would... aye, she came back too. 676 00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:47,720 She was working in a bar up in Crossley Mere. 677 00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:50,400 What do you mean, fucking Crossley fucking Mere? 678 00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:57,120 It's twenty fucking miles away. Why have you never told me this? 679 00:31:57,160 --> 00:31:58,160 Eh? 680 00:31:58,200 --> 00:31:59,840 You were better off without her, Vinnie. 681 00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:01,640 You were, even my mammy said the same thing. 682 00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:04,120 What kind of woman would go away and leave her child like that? 683 00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:06,400 She broke you in half, Vin, she'd only do the same again. 684 00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:08,880 No. No. No. Shut up. You fucking shut your mouth. 685 00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:10,560 You don't understand. 686 00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:14,440 I've been waiting for my mam to come back for me and she never did. 687 00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:16,560 And you've fucking known about it, you have. 688 00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:18,320 You've know and Mo knew. 689 00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:20,280 You never said a fucking thing to me. 690 00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:21,960 Who else knew? No one else. 691 00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:26,760 Know one else knows. Just you lot. You're fucking unreal. FUCK! 692 00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:29,800 (SLOW, HAUNTING MUSIC) 693 00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:42,040 Hey, where's Vinnie. He left. 694 00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:44,360 I think. 695 00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:47,840 # LIZZO: Juice # 696 00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:49,920 # Gotta blame it on the Goose 697 00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:51,800 # Gotta blame it on my juice Baby. # 698 00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:53,880 Fucking hell. That's alright, innit! (SNIFFS) 699 00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:54,920 Right, can I just... 700 00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:57,040 I'm just blown away by you and this and all that, 701 00:32:57,080 --> 00:32:59,240 your fucking open mindedness and everything. 702 00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:01,040 I've just got loadsa questions. Can I go? 703 00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:02,920 Yeah. Sure. Quick fire, Ronnie style, yeah? 704 00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:05,160 (SNIFFS) Fuck me. Right. Are you ready? 705 00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:06,960 Are you trans? No. 706 00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:08,360 Do you like men, or women? Both. 707 00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:10,120 Can I have some cocaine? You've had some. 708 00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:11,560 Are you happy? Yeah. 709 00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:12,680 Fucking wicked, man. 710 00:33:12,720 --> 00:33:14,520 I am gonna sit down, cos I can't feel my legs. 711 00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:16,480 Know what I mean? I'm so happy that you're happy. 712 00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:18,600 That's what it's about. It's about being out there. 713 00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:20,320 I've opened my mind. Do you wear knickers? 714 00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:21,800 I do actually, yeah. Tell you what, 715 00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:23,720 best thing I ever did wearing women's clothes, 716 00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:27,080 I would not change it for the world. Funny thing is I just love the... 717 00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:29,520 Safe. Safe. 718 00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:31,920 Safe... 719 00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:33,200 # That's how I roll 720 00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:35,720 # If I'm shinin' Everybody gonna shine... # 721 00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:37,400 (MOBILE PHONE RINGS) 722 00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:38,880 Oh, sorry. 723 00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:42,480 Vinnie? 'Erin, I‐I need... 724 00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:46,000 'I need you to come to the shack.' Why? What's happened? What's up? 725 00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:48,600 I can't, cos I need to lock up and take Tyler home. 726 00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:50,920 Just, fuck... Just come to the shack. I need yer. 727 00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:53,400 'OK. Alright, I'm on my way.' 728 00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:56,280 Sugs. How pissed are you? 729 00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:58,360 What? How pissed are you? 730 00:33:58,400 --> 00:33:59,400 Fairly. 731 00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:01,360 Right, do me a favour and take Tyler home, yeah?! 732 00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:03,520 Yeah. Alright, thanks, mate. Thanks. 733 00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:06,920 Tommo... lock up. 734 00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:10,560 Did you see that? 735 00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:12,280 Did you see the way she speaks to me? 736 00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:13,920 No. No. No. No. No. 737 00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:15,920 I will be dragged into the gates of Hades 738 00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:17,320 before I do that wench's bidding. 739 00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:19,680 Dido said it, right, now I'm saying it, 740 00:34:19,720 --> 00:34:21,360 "I will go down with this ship, 741 00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:23,360 "I won't give myself up and surrender." 742 00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:25,760 Just lock the fucking club, Tom. 743 00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:33,800 (SOFT, MELLOW MUSIC) 744 00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:35,480 You've got to go. 745 00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:39,320 I can't. Vin, it's twenty miles away. 746 00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:41,240 You need to see if she's still there. 747 00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:43,440 Why though? Because she's your mum. 748 00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:46,680 She's a mum who walked out on me. 749 00:34:46,720 --> 00:34:50,040 She left me with an alcoholic man for some fucking bloke she met. 750 00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:51,160 That's not a mum. 751 00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:54,440 I know, but you said that she did have mental health issues. 752 00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:57,160 I just can't believe it. 753 00:34:57,200 --> 00:34:59,240 I can't believe she's back. 754 00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:02,840 Working in a bar 20 minutes up the fucking road. 755 00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:05,400 I'll come with you. 756 00:35:08,720 --> 00:35:12,120 Thanks, but, no, I can't. Vin, she's Tyler's grandma. 757 00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:15,560 Yeah, and she lost the right to that the moment she fucked off. 758 00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:18,480 She walked out on her son. She doesn't care. 759 00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:23,120 Fuck. I've just never been able to understand it my whole life. 760 00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:26,400 Why she left. People do, Vin. 761 00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:30,000 People with problems leave everyday... 762 00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:32,960 ..because they're so unhappy, 763 00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:36,160 or they think everybody's better off without them. 764 00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:41,160 Maybe she's scared. 765 00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:45,080 Maybe she wanted to come back and she wanted to see you, 766 00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:46,680 but she was, y'know, 767 00:35:46,720 --> 00:35:50,280 she was worried that you might hate her, reject her. 768 00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:54,360 Maybe‐maybe it breaks her heart, 769 00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:56,800 but she's had to parcel it away, y'know. 770 00:35:57,960 --> 00:35:59,240 Vin, you don't know. 771 00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:04,840 This has been hanging over you since you were seven years old. 772 00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:06,560 It's made you into the person that you are. 773 00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:10,240 It's meant that you've never left this town. 774 00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:17,480 I just don't wanna hate her. 775 00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:19,560 I like her like this. 776 00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:23,560 A lady in a photograph. 777 00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:31,360 I'm not going. You are. 778 00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:37,040 Oh, fuck... 779 00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:39,280 Oh, Jesus Christ, Cardi. 780 00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:41,840 You're a fucking animal with a scratcher. 781 00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:43,520 Oh, fucking hell. 782 00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:46,280 It's given me the an awful horn though now, like. 783 00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:49,080 What about we go for round two? Yeah. No. D‐definitely. 784 00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:52,360 Can I just have t‐t‐two minutes to reload? 785 00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:54,880 Maybe we should watch a bit of the old porn, you know, 786 00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:57,960 get us back in the mood again. Yeah, I've got the perfect thing. 787 00:36:58,000 --> 00:36:59,360 Ah. Oh, yeah. 788 00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:00,400 Ah. Do you like that? 789 00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:01,600 I do. Enjoying that? 790 00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:02,640 I am. 791 00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:05,680 From one porn actor to another, happy wedding, Carol. 792 00:37:05,720 --> 00:37:08,840 We love you. Oh, that's lovely. 793 00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:12,280 Thanks. 794 00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:40,680 Shall we crack on then? Go on. Right. 795 00:37:40,720 --> 00:37:43,960 Right, so we've passed two pubs and a grotty wine bar, 796 00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:46,680 if she is still working here, odds are in our favour, aren't they. 797 00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:50,680 What will I say to her? 798 00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:54,000 This your mum? Yeah. 799 00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:57,600 You look like her. Oh. 800 00:37:57,640 --> 00:37:59,760 She's less bald. Right. 801 00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:04,920 I mean, to be fair, that's a lady isn't it?! So... 802 00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:07,480 My Auntie Jean's bald. 803 00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:09,080 Alopecia. 804 00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:12,640 On VE Day we drew a Union Jack on it. 805 00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:14,120 I've got a photo somewhere. 806 00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:16,920 Get it out(!) 807 00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:20,120 No, sorry, not here. She looks sort of familiar maybe, 808 00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:24,200 but I don't really know her. Alright, thanks anyway. 809 00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:28,200 Alright, cocker. Can I show you this photo here? 810 00:38:28,240 --> 00:38:29,840 I'm looking for a lady. 811 00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:34,000 So, her name's Andrea and she'll be a lot older than that now. 812 00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:36,400 But I think she worked behind the bar at some point. 813 00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:37,880 You don't recognise her, do yer? 814 00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:42,640 There's, um, there's a Cassandra, and a Maggie. 815 00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:47,440 Hmm, do they look like this lady, Cassandra or Maggie? 816 00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:52,160 Not really. OK, I'm sorry to have bothered you. 817 00:38:53,240 --> 00:38:54,240 What can I get you? 818 00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:56,000 Can we ask you a quick question, please? 819 00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:58,960 Question? Yeah. What am I, Tourist Information? 820 00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:01,640 Buy a drink, you can ask what you like. 821 00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:03,440 Can we just have two halves of lager then. 822 00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:05,640 Halves, what are you, homosexual? 823 00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:08,640 How does that make me a homosexual? It's a known fact. 824 00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:11,080 Just like they can't swim, or shoot a firearm. 825 00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:13,440 Can't play snooker, they can't fix a moped, 826 00:39:13,480 --> 00:39:16,440 they can't throw a frisbee... Can't tame a unicorn! 827 00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:17,920 They're fucking useless at it. 828 00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:20,720 What a stupid fucking list, you daft old bigot. 829 00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:22,280 Get the fuck out. I will do. 830 00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:24,200 Alright. OK. We're going. Come on. Hey, hey... 831 00:39:24,240 --> 00:39:25,520 No, Vin... Just‐just let me... 832 00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:27,960 I've just gotta ask him something. I'm fucking fascinated. 833 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,600 I'll never understand it. How does it affect yer? 834 00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:33,800 One man sucking another man's dick? Sucking another man's dick? 835 00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:36,440 I'll suck your dick! I'll bite the bastard thing off. 836 00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:37,480 Pfft! 837 00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:41,200 What a bizarre thing to say given the conversation we've just had. 838 00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:45,240 Show your face around here again and I'll shove this up your arse! 839 00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:47,400 And not in a good way. 840 00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:51,680 There you go. 841 00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:54,880 I've ordered us a bacon butty as well. 842 00:39:54,920 --> 00:39:56,440 Something to cheer us up. 843 00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:01,040 Maybe she wasn't here long, 844 00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:03,640 maybe she came back then she moved away again. 845 00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:06,640 Yeah, maybe. 846 00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:11,120 We can keep looking for her. Go from shop to shop. Ask everyone. 847 00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:13,800 It dun't matter. Honestly. 848 00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:21,160 Nothing'll ever hurt as bad as when she left. 849 00:40:22,240 --> 00:40:24,800 I had to protect myself. And I have. 850 00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:26,480 I know. I was just... 851 00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:30,600 Fuck. I'm a dad, now. Grown ass man. 852 00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:33,320 I have Tyler. 853 00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:35,560 If he got hurt, or I couldn't help... 854 00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:40,880 ..or if I could never see him again... 855 00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:45,120 ..I think it'd probably break me in half. 856 00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:46,520 (SIGHS) 857 00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:49,600 That's a lot of pressure that, Vin. 858 00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:54,280 You know, of course I don't wanna hurt you... 859 00:40:55,520 --> 00:40:57,640 ..but I can't promise we're gonna be around forever. 860 00:40:57,680 --> 00:41:00,360 You know the way I feel about you. 861 00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:03,240 What about Samantha? 862 00:41:03,280 --> 00:41:05,320 That thing you whispered in my ear... 863 00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:08,480 ..before they put me in jail... 864 00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:10,720 Number 12. You want sauce with them? 865 00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:13,440 Oh, fuck. Shit. 866 00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:14,920 What? 867 00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:16,400 Mum? Andrea? 868 00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:17,440 Yeah. 869 00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:21,520 It's Vin. It's Vinnie. 870 00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:25,040 Red, or brown. 871 00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:29,080 No. No. No. That's your son, that's Vinnie. 872 00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:30,800 We've come looking for you. 873 00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:33,720 There's free refills on the coffee. 874 00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:38,080 Just stop a sec... I‐I‐I did as I was told. 875 00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:41,720 I stayed, but you didn't come back. 876 00:41:42,720 --> 00:41:44,680 You've grown, haven't you. 877 00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:46,720 Good looking. 878 00:41:51,040 --> 00:41:52,920 I'll get the sauces. Mum? 879 00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:55,160 Vin, just give her a minute. She's overwhelmed. 880 00:41:56,480 --> 00:41:58,480 My heart's beating out of my chest here. 881 00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:02,160 Can you ask that lady to come back? Please. 882 00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:04,840 Can I just nip through? It's private, mate. 883 00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:06,320 I know, I'm really sorry. 884 00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:09,480 Mum! Mum! 885 00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:14,520 I stayed where you told me to stay. 886 00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:18,640 I have a little boy. 887 00:42:20,720 --> 00:42:22,680 He's called Tyler. 888 00:42:27,760 --> 00:42:30,760 (SOFT, SOMBRE MUSIC) 889 00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:40,640 You alright, mate? Yeah. 890 00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:44,960 Does she have a family? 891 00:42:46,240 --> 00:42:48,560 Husband. Step kid. 892 00:42:48,600 --> 00:42:49,640 (SIGHS) 893 00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:53,360 Is she happy? 894 00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:55,920 (EXHALES) 895 00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:59,160 Hard to tell. She... 896 00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:01,640 does her work and goes home. 897 00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:06,080 (SOFT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC) 898 00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:10,440 I'm sorry. 899 00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:15,360 (CAFE RADIO PLAYS) 900 00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:19,720 (EXHALES DEEPLY) 901 00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:23,680 Did you speak to her? 902 00:43:23,720 --> 00:43:25,640 Hm... Yeah? 903 00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:29,520 Where is she? 904 00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:31,440 She's gone. 905 00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:32,960 Where? 906 00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:35,200 She just walked away. 907 00:43:38,160 --> 00:43:39,920 That's twice now. 908 00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:49,480 She's just a lady. 909 00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:53,720 I'm so sorry, Vin. 910 00:43:54,720 --> 00:43:55,960 It's OK. 911 00:43:59,920 --> 00:44:01,320 Let's go home. 912 00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:07,400 # FATHER JOHN MISTY: One Of Us Cannot Be Wrong # 913 00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:23,400 Alright, Vinnie. Hey up, Pat. 914 00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:27,040 Fancy a brew, lads? Go on. 915 00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:28,760 Lovely. Thank you, Aunty. 916 00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:35,080 I am sorry you never got to meet him. 917 00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:36,520 Your real dad. 918 00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:42,240 At least now I know. At least now I've got a name. 919 00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:48,440 She did love him... 920 00:44:49,720 --> 00:44:50,960 ..y'know? 921 00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:55,000 You'd have been born out of love there. 922 00:44:59,920 --> 00:45:02,120 And some great fucking sex apparently. 923 00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:03,600 (LAUGH) Ah... 924 00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:09,280 # EELS: It's A Motherfucker # 925 00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:15,320 Does this make us brothers? 926 00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:21,000 Yeah. 927 00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:25,080 Sure it does, mate. 928 00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:31,560 # And I won't ever be the same 929 00:45:36,120 --> 00:45:39,600 # It's a motherfucker 930 00:45:39,640 --> 00:45:42,080 # Getting through a Sunday 931 00:45:43,920 --> 00:45:47,560 # Talking to the walls Just me again 932 00:45:50,920 --> 00:45:52,560 # But I won't ever be... # (CHEERS) 933 00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:55,480 Three Eyed Pete's barge here we come! 934 00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:57,360 I'm sorry. Don't be silly. 935 00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:03,560 # I won't ever be the same. # 936 00:46:06,920 --> 00:46:08,920 You alright, man? Yeah. 937 00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:10,920 Christ, they're funny, aren't they. 938 00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:14,760 Y'know, what's a bloody family anyway? 939 00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:17,480 It's just a name you call all the people around you. 940 00:46:19,120 --> 00:46:21,760 This is my family here. 941 00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:23,960 You. 942 00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:25,760 That little lad. 943 00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:27,640 You're the ones that cheer me up when I'm sad. 944 00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:30,800 You're the ones who put a smile on my face when I feel like shit. 945 00:46:30,840 --> 00:46:31,840 Y'know? 946 00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:35,880 And fuck, man, the rest is just... It's just the past. 947 00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:37,440 Daddy. 948 00:46:37,480 --> 00:46:40,800 Uncle Daddy, grr, and Uncle Dylan. 949 00:46:40,840 --> 00:46:43,120 Give him a smooch. Oh! 950 00:46:43,160 --> 00:46:44,840 Give me a smooch. Oh! 951 00:46:44,880 --> 00:46:46,560 Have a great time! 952 00:46:47,880 --> 00:46:49,640 Fuck his brains out. 953 00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:51,200 Shouldn't take too long. (LAUGHTER) 954 00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:57,960 (MELLOW INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC) 955 00:47:15,840 --> 00:47:18,840 AccessibleCustomerService@sky.uk