1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,560 # GANG STARR: Work 2 00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:10,240 # What is it you wanna do when you grow up? 3 00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:12,000 # Ai, yo, I'm gonna be a ti‐dop 4 00:00:12,040 --> 00:00:13,680 # That's all my eyes can see 5 00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:16,120 # Victory is mine Yeah, surprisingly 6 00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:18,720 # I've been laying, waiting for your next mistake 7 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:20,960 # I put in work and watch my status escalate 8 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,360 # Now I'mma start collectin' props, connectin' plots 9 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:25,240 # Networkin' like a conference... # 10 00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:27,360 (KNOCK AT DOOR) O'Neil. It's time. 11 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:28,960 Eh? 12 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,200 Come here, Ernie. Give me a love, mate. 13 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:35,240 It's been a pleasure, Vin. You're a good lad, eh? 14 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:38,360 Now is that a fucking hard‐on? Is it? 15 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:42,040 It is a hard on! 'Ey, Ernie's finally got himself a hard‐on here. 16 00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:43,800 (LAUGHS) (INMATES CHEER AND WHISTLE) 17 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:45,840 Fucking wants doing. (CHUCKLES) 18 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,640 Stay away from schools, you dirty old bastard. (CHUCKLES) 19 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:50,800 Right then, if you can just stick yourself 20 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:52,760 in this end one, please, Mr O'Neil. Yeah. 21 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:56,680 And when you're in there, just remove your trousers, please. Eh? 22 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:59,800 Don't worry, it's just a precaution. I'm being released from jail. 23 00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:02,960 I wouldn't be sticking anything up my arse. Yeah, you'd be surprised. 24 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,680 You're bloody right, I would. See, the anus is... 25 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:09,640 It's an incredible organ. It's a bit like the female uterus, actually. 26 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:12,720 It's capable of expanding to great widths. Oh. 27 00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:15,520 I've found loads of cool stuff up them. Go on. 28 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:18,040 Well, er...I once found a phone. Oh, yeah. 29 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:22,400 Drugs, obviously. A gun. Eh? Hacksaw. Fucking hell. 30 00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:24,800 Um...an MP3 player. Crikey. 31 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:27,640 Christmas lights. I were like that. (LAUGHS) 32 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:29,600 A miniature submarine. Why? 33 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:33,280 Harry Potter novel. Oh, get gone. Yeah. They're fucking that thick. 34 00:01:33,320 --> 00:01:35,880 Yeah. Deathly Hallows, this one. 600 pages. 35 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:38,880 (BOTH LAUGH) So, are we gonna have a quick peak then? 36 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:40,760 Oh, you... Come on. 37 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:43,320 I mean, what's the deal? 38 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:46,360 Have you always wanted to do this for a living or what? 39 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:49,280 I kind of fell into it really. Saw an opening. 40 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:51,680 (LAUGHTER) Hey, hey! 41 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:54,200 (SQUELCHING) (GRUNTS) 42 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:57,080 # BARRETT STRONG: Money (That's What I Want) 43 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,440 Fuck! 44 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:06,920 Sugar, Sugar, wake up. We're late. 45 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,920 We're late! Fuck. 46 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:12,960 ERIN: I can't believe I slept in. 47 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,000 I promised him I'd be there. 48 00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:22,360 Did you get bummed? No, I didn't get fucking bummed. 49 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:25,040 I bet you've been bloody bummed. Nah, not really my thing. 50 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:28,280 (LAUGHS) See ya. All right, Vin? All right, Georgio? You OK, mate? 51 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:30,800 Yeah, not so bad. See you next week, Vinnie! Fuck off! 52 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:33,360 # That's what I want 53 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:35,880 # That's what I want # That's what I want... # 54 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,280 (HORN BLARES AND TYRES SCREECH) 55 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:45,720 (TYRES SCREECH) 56 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:48,200 (LAUGHS) Come here, mate. Uncle Vinnie! 57 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:50,960 Aw! Oh, I've missed you, man. 58 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,560 I've missed you. I'm sorry I went away. 59 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:55,960 You look handsome. Hi. Hiya. Welcome back. 60 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,720 You all right? Yeah, are you? Yeah. 61 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:02,040 Did you bring me a spliff? Yeah, course. Ahh! (WOMEN LAUGH) 62 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:04,480 All right, Sugar? My youth. 63 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:07,040 That hotel was terrible. 64 00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:09,800 # THE MAMAS AND THE PAPAS: I Saw Her Again 65 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:12,880 (CALLS OUT INDISTINCTLY) 66 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:16,680 (ERIN LAUGHS) 67 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:20,880 (LAUGHS AND WHOOPS) 68 00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:23,400 Why didn't you want the guys to pick you up? 69 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:26,320 I wanted this little bugger to be the first face that I saw. 70 00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:28,400 (LAUGHS) 71 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:32,560 Eh? Besides, them buggers, they'd have just forgot, wouldn't they? 72 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:36,560 Didn't they visit? Once or twice they did. The odd phone call here and there. 73 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:39,080 But I got the feeling they were trying to keep me happy. 74 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:41,640 How is the weed grow? Is it all right, yeah? 75 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,760 Yeah. Yeah? Yeah, fine. 76 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,960 Thank fuck for that. Has McCann been in touch? 77 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,840 No, I don't think so. Has he not been in touch with you? Mm. 78 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:53,400 No. I mean, I didn't mention when I were getting out. Could be that. 79 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:55,920 You know, maybe he's just waiting till I get out. 80 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:59,640 It's just as well them buggers didn't know when I were getting out. 81 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:03,480 They'd have thrown a surprise party, wouldn't they? You know what I mean? 82 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:07,600 Mm. Shame. 83 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:09,600 (CHEERING) 84 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:11,440 # MARLENA SHAW: California Soul 85 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:14,960 Hey, Vinnie! 86 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,040 You all right? Vinnie. 87 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:19,240 (ALL CHATTER EXCITEDLY) 88 00:04:19,280 --> 00:04:21,040 How are you? Welcome home, mate. 89 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:22,480 (CHATTERING CONTINUES) 90 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,360 Eh?! Oh, it's good to see you. 91 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:31,440 Oh, what the fuck are they doing here? Shit. 92 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,520 Oi, get hold of our Tyler, will you? Bloody hell. 93 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:37,440 Oh, sorry, don't stop on my account. Fuck do you want? 94 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:40,400 Just came to welcome you back, Vinnie. 95 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:43,320 Nice one. Well, you can fuck off now, can't you, Slater? 96 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:46,160 Oh, right. OK, sorry. Yeah, I will. 97 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:48,600 But just for factual accuracy 98 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:53,040 it's, "Fuck off, Detective Inspector Slater." 99 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:55,080 Uniform no more. 100 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:57,120 Isn't that right, Hoskins? 101 00:04:57,920 --> 00:04:59,720 Boom. Mm. 102 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:02,960 Detective, huh? Well done, Carl. Maybe now you can investigate 103 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:06,760 them reports of a local man who bums dogs. (SNIGGERS) Yeah. 104 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:11,720 Smile it up, arsehole, because tonight, myself and my team 105 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:13,960 are paying a visit to your adult establishment 106 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:19,080 and unless every last licence, certificate and fucking regulation 107 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:23,200 is up above board and up to date, I'm closing you down. 108 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,680 And as for you, "mechanic", 109 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:29,280 I know you're selling stolen wheels and we're gonna fucking catch you. 110 00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:32,760 And then there's Vincent. 111 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,800 (SOFTLY) Aw. 112 00:05:34,840 --> 00:05:37,320 Little motherless Vinnie. Aw. 113 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:40,440 "Preventing a lawful burial of a body." 114 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:42,400 Is that the best they could do? 115 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,640 (SCREAMS) 116 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:46,280 Six months. 117 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:51,880 I know you've got a weed grow and I know you're involved with McCann. 118 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:55,480 And I am making it my personal mission 119 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:59,280 to ensure that you and all of your scroaty mates 120 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:01,320 end up behind bars 121 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:03,560 for as long as the law will allow. 122 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:10,440 Fuck off. I thought it was a moment. I'm sorry. Misread it. 123 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:14,560 Oi! It were a poodle. 124 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,480 (CHEERING AND LAUGHTER) 125 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:21,360 Let's just assess the reality of the situation, right? 126 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:25,160 Oi, oi. The paperwork for the Rat and Cutter, I assume all that's fucked. 127 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:29,880 Oh, yeah. Oh, yes, assume cos it's me in charge it's all gone to shit. 128 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:33,680 Assume all the admin is in a state of fucking disarray. Well, is it? 129 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:36,920 Yeah, as a matter of fact it is. Yeah. 130 00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:39,920 Hang on, sweetheart. You're supposed to be co‐assistant manager. 131 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:42,920 You told me you were taking care of licences, remember? 132 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:47,160 Christ, you are useless. Dickhead. Honestly. He is a dickhead 133 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:51,160 It's gonna be months before we can sort that bloody paperwork out 134 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:54,840 and run that place legal now. Which means all we've got is that weed. 135 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:57,760 So the location, I can't have them finding that. 136 00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:59,800 Let's go easy on the visits this time. 137 00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:02,800 There's a bit of a problem with that. What kind of a problem? 138 00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:05,080 Uh...with the grow. 139 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:06,520 Oh, hell. 140 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:09,120 (SHOUTING AND GRUNTING) Where's the weed? 141 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:10,840 Eh? Where's the fucking weed? 142 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:14,800 They've fucking taken everything? McCann's men. Every last plant. 143 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:17,840 I mean, we're...we are fucked. 144 00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:21,480 No club, no weed. Fucking Slater and that creature. 145 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:24,480 Who's that fucking guy he's hanging out with? That little homunculus. 146 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:27,480 Fucking giving it big licks. Breathing right down our necks. 147 00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:30,200 How the fuck are we gonna make a living here? 148 00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:32,040 Summat'll turn up. 149 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:46,920 I know you're in there, Vinnie! I can fucking see you on your bed smoking! 150 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:50,120 All right. Shit, dude. What time is it? 151 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:53,000 Never fucking mind that. Just open the door. 152 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:57,360 What the fuck do you want? Something's fell into me lap. 153 00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:59,520 Candy from a baby. Yeah? 154 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:03,840 Well, not fucking literally. Why would I have candy in my lap? 155 00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:07,040 I'm not a fucking nonce, Vin. And even if I was, 156 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:11,600 I wouldn't be luring infants with fucking candy in my lap. 157 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:14,680 I'd hang about at the swimming pools or something. 158 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:16,720 At fucking soft‐play centres. 159 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:19,280 I don't know what I'd do, but it wouldn't be candy. 160 00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:22,720 You'd be a brilliant nonce. I've no doubt of it. What do you want, man? 161 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:26,200 Oh, I've got a job for us. Gonna earn us all thousands. 162 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:28,240 What kind of job is it? 163 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:31,920 The Great Bull Semen Heist. 164 00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:33,800 Eh? Come on. 165 00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:38,480 Count me out of that. Count you out? 166 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:41,720 This'll be the easiest dough you've ever earned in your life. 167 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:45,680 Stealing sex piss for a fucking angry Gandalf. 168 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:49,480 I've just come out of jail. Why would I nick a load of sex piss for you? 169 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:52,040 I've got Slater breathing down me neck and everything. 170 00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:54,360 Piss off, Jim, you old cunt. 171 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:58,120 Fine! I'll fucking take it to the others then! 172 00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:01,680 Do! 'Ey, and when we're all spending spunk money, 173 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:04,160 don't you come fucking moaning to me. 174 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:07,080 (HEAVY THUD) Ow! That fucking hurt, twat! 175 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:09,880 Fuck off. You fuck off. You fucking old cunt. 176 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:12,240 (DOOR OPENS) Hey, Vinnie You all right, knobhead? 177 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:15,440 How's it going? What the fuck is that, dude? 178 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:19,360 National "Check Yourself" Week. This is Valerie, my new friend. 179 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,680 Valerie the vagina. (DEEP VOICE) Hello, Vinnie. 180 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:25,040 Dude, she wouldn't sound like that. She would. 181 00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:27,560 That's exactly what she'd sound like. Would she bollocks. 182 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,760 It's a growler. How do you expect them to sound? 183 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:33,640 She wouldn't be growly though, man. She'd be um... What? 184 00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:36,920 ..American, wouldn't she? (LAUGHS) 185 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:40,200 (SULTRY AMERICAN ACCENT) Hey, Vinnie. (LAUGHS) 186 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:43,280 No, no, I tell you. In both a personal and professional capacity, 187 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:46,040 I've come face to face with a thousand fandangos 188 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:49,600 and they're ruthless, brutal. They're like, "Hello, Doctor." Stop. 189 00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:52,880 "You look like a bad boy, don't you?" Fuck off now. Oi. "Come here." 190 00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:55,520 Stop. Stop puppeting that minge. 191 00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:59,280 So, how was prison? (SIGHS) It was all right. 192 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:02,320 I think I looked after myself. I had three meals a day. 193 00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:04,360 I was exercising a bit... 194 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:07,680 first week. Did you get bummed? No, I didn't get fucking bummed. 195 00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:11,320 Really? No! It's not just a big bum‐sex orgy, dude, 196 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,760 the moment you walk in to fucking jail. 197 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:15,960 How was your... 198 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,920 You know... The bipolar? Yeah. 199 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,440 Fucking hell. Yeah, it was all right. 200 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:23,920 Fuck, I did some thinking in there, you know. 201 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:26,720 It's at night, when they shut that door. 202 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:29,720 I thought about my mum... 203 00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:32,720 ..and how she abandoned me. 204 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:37,480 Fuck. I mean, I'd done the same thing to Tyler, hadn't I? 205 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,600 Come on. (SIGHS HEAVILY) 206 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:41,400 I need occupying. 207 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:43,360 Otherwise the voices kick in 208 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:46,320 Why not go back to your old tricks, get back in with the old gang? 209 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:48,840 I don't want to end up in jail again. Well, small scale. 210 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:51,080 Sell a bit of weed or whatever. Oh, fuck. 211 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:52,840 Oh, you star. 212 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:55,200 Dude. It's half decent. 213 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:58,160 Thanks, Vinnie. What do you think, Valerie? 214 00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:01,320 (GRUFF VOICE) Abso‐bloody‐lutely. Tell him to check his balls. 215 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:06,680 (LAUGHS) Good girl. She's right on message. 216 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:10,280 (MOOING) So I'm on this date last night. Sheep‐shagging, 217 00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:12,200 as the rest of us call it. (LAUGHTER) 218 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:14,720 'Ey! I'm a fucking catch me. Right. 219 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:18,520 Eligible bachelor, self‐made man. What website are you using? 220 00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:21,360 Desperate‐and‐Deranged.com. (LAUGHTER) 221 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:24,720 Muddy Mates. It's for farmers and the farming community. 222 00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:26,920 Lot of very mucky women on there. (LAUGHTER) 223 00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:30,440 Do you wanna hear this fucking story or what?! Go on. 224 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:34,080 'Right, her name is Lesley Anne Fisher.' 225 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:37,560 Posh, yeah. And she is a journalist for a farming magazine. 226 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:41,800 I'm searching for a soul mate, not some easy minge. 227 00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:45,800 ALL: Mmm. And over a few wines, we get talking. You were drinking wine? 228 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:49,640 No. I had a pint of stout. She had the wine. 229 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:52,440 And the more she drank, the more she gabbed. 230 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:56,760 My next feature is on what they call "film‐star" bulls. Oh. 231 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,720 Have you heard of them? No. 232 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:02,720 But I once had a Friesian that was the spit of Jodie Foster. 233 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:04,120 (BOTH LAUGH RAUCOUSLY) 234 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,360 What? 235 00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:10,320 Film‐star bulls are bulls that carry the highest‐proof semen. 236 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:15,440 Semen with the proven ability to sire cows with high milk yields. 237 00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:17,480 Right. 238 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:20,200 But here's the real attraction. 239 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,760 Where a single ejaculation might normally produce, say, 240 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:26,280 50 straws ‐ 241 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:28,160 50 ‐ 242 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:31,800 a shot from a film‐star bull can produce as many as... 243 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:32,920 500. 244 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,400 Fucking hell. Super spunk. 245 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:37,480 Fair play. (MURMURS OF ASSENT) 246 00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:40,400 The bull I'm seeing next week, Sonny Boy, 247 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:43,560 he's at a secret location and he's a... 248 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:45,640 a real A‐lister. 249 00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:51,000 His frozen semen sold for 500...600 a pop. 250 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:52,760 Ooh. Yeah. 251 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,120 (CHUCKLES) 252 00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:57,360 Right, just hang fire then. So 600 quid a pop you're saying. 253 00:12:57,400 --> 00:13:00,600 Yep. And he can do what 500 shots at his jizzing best. Yep. 254 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:02,360 Jesus Christ. Go on. 300,000. 255 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:05,840 300,000, dude. That's a lot. Fucking hell. For bull splooge? 256 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:07,800 It's like gold dust. Hey, 257 00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:10,640 and I've got all the details of when she's going. 258 00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:14,160 So I suggest we follow her and her photographer, 259 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:17,960 intercept 'em en route and then go and nick the knob yoghurt. 260 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,000 We'll do it. That's a fucking good idea. 261 00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:22,160 All right? They're expecting 262 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:25,640 a nice lady journalist, so that's exactly what we'll give 'em. 263 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:30,240 VINNIE ON WALKIE‐TALKIE: Jimbo, what's going on? Got eyes on, over. 264 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:33,360 I have visuals on the target's abode. 265 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,440 Speak fucking normal, you bellend. 266 00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:38,480 Just let us know when she's setting off. 267 00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:40,600 Raymond... Roger that. 268 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:42,360 Raymond Roger that? 269 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:45,000 Ash, do you know what you're doing with that camera? Yeah. 270 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:49,000 It's a camera. Just point and shoot. No, you've got to look professional. 271 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:52,120 "That's it, sweetheart. There we go. Make love to the lens. 272 00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:54,160 Pout. Hold that, yeah." 273 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,880 Do you want me to do it? No, dude. Look, why... 274 00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,280 why does Ash get to be the ph‐photographer? 275 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:02,480 Exactly. Should be me on that magazine. Bit of fucking diversity. 276 00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:06,760 10‐4. 10‐4! 10‐4, message received. Can you tell him he's doing the wrong code? 277 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:09,560 The target is leaving the premises. 278 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:13,560 I repeat, the target is leaving the premises. 279 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:16,560 Shut the fuck up. We're gonna cut her off now. 280 00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:20,680 LESLEY ANNE: (SIGHS CROSSLY) For God's sake. What's this now? 281 00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:22,720 I hate being late. 282 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:28,440 Hiya. I am so sorry to wave you down. 283 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:31,600 My car's broken down and my charge has gone on my phone. 284 00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:34,880 I was wondering if you could call the garage for me. Well... 285 00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:36,960 we're in a bit of a h‐ Yeah, course we can. Yeah? 286 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:40,600 I'm really good with cars. Oh, thank you so much. I'll take a look. 287 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:42,640 Amazing. Thanks. 288 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:47,840 What's the...what's the problem? I think it's the back wheel. 289 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:50,480 When I was driving, I could hear a clicking sound. 290 00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:53,840 I think it needs a jack up or... Yeah, sounds like it. 291 00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:56,720 Lesley! Fucking dickhead. What are you doing? (YELLING) 292 00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:59,360 Get out! Come here, you... 293 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:02,000 # THE HIVES: Main Offender 294 00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:03,320 Oh! 295 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:05,120 (YELLING) 296 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:08,680 Argh! 297 00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:10,920 (ROARS) 298 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:16,320 (SHRIEKS) 299 00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:20,080 Cardi! Have you knocked him out? Fucking idiot. 300 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:23,040 (GRUNTS) Oh, like it rough, do you? Yeah! Yeah, yeah. 301 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:25,440 Well, I can be as rough ‐ 302 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:27,240 Arghhh! 303 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:30,240 Get her! (SHRIEKS) 304 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:34,240 Nice and tight, Ash. She's a fucking nutcase. (CHUCKLES) 305 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:37,400 You double‐crossing piece of shit! 306 00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:39,920 You should've gone Dutch on the meal then, shouldn't you? 307 00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:42,920 Dearest wine. And the pudding. I'm not fucking made of money. 308 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:44,960 You should've kept your hands out of your pocket, 309 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:48,440 instead of fiddling your shrivelled old manroot. I was rearranging. 310 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:52,080 Rearranging my arse. I'll rearrange your fucking arse in a minute, love. 311 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:54,840 What does that even mean? Dickhead. (TUTS) 312 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:57,280 Listen, we're not gonna hurt you, neither of yous. 313 00:15:57,320 --> 00:16:00,080 We just want the address where the bull's kept. I'll never give it. 314 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:04,480 You can torture me, you can do what you like, but I'll never ever ‐ 315 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:06,880 It's in the sat nav. Ohh! (LAUGHS) 316 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,880 He's a good lad. Come here, give me a kiss. You're a good lad. 317 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:12,920 Right, now then. You three, take 'em for a bloody walk. 318 00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:15,240 We're gonna see a man about a bull. Go on, fuck off. 319 00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:18,400 Cardi, just guide her. Guide her in. She's a nutcase. 320 00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:20,840 See you later. 321 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:24,920 I don't need you, you look like a plank. Come on! All right. 322 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:29,720 TOMMO: Two drops'll give you enough time to find out where the vials are stored. 323 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:32,160 # HONEYFEET: Colonel Haithi's Trunk Juice 324 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:40,000 (BIRDS CHIRRUPING) 325 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,040 Wait. What is it? What's up? 326 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:46,480 That is a hawfinch. 327 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:48,520 Terrific little bird, the hawfinch. 328 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:52,120 They can exert enough force to crack open a cherry stone. 329 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:54,560 Fucking riveting(!) 330 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:56,160 Come on! 331 00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:01,920 ASH: Remember what Tommo said ‐ 332 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:05,440 you only need two drops to knock them out. Right? 333 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:09,840 Smile, Lesley Anne. 334 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,680 You from Total Farming? Yeah, absolutely. 335 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:17,040 I'm Lesley Anne and this is my photographer Ash. 336 00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:19,960 You're Lesley? Yes. Yes, Lesley Anne. 337 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,920 You sounded older on the phone. 338 00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:24,760 (CHUCKLES) She gets that all the time. Old‐lady voice. 339 00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:26,360 Don't you? I do. 340 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:29,400 First time I spoke to her I thought she was a pensioner. 341 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:34,120 Anyway, you...you must be Ruth. Yeah. 342 00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:37,000 And my three boys ‐ Victor, Vernon and Vincent. 343 00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:40,080 V, V, V. A bit of a V thing going on there. (CHUCKLES) 344 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:42,840 The three of you. Anyway, 345 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:45,800 we're very excited to meet Sunny Boy, aren't we, Ash? 346 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:50,000 So excited. Yeah. I've always found bulls to be very photogenic. 347 00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:52,040 You won't see a better‐looking bull. 348 00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:56,040 If I was a cow, I'd have him inside me all day long. 349 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:03,480 Right, shall we start with a quick chat... This is ready. ..and a brew? 350 00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,160 BOTH: Yeah. 351 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:09,560 If I have a herd of a hundred cows and each one is inseminated 352 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:11,640 three times over a nine‐week period, 353 00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:14,920 have a guess how many'll get pregnant on strong bull sperm. 354 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:18,320 I wouldn't know. Couldn't say. 98%. 355 00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:20,160 Wow. 98%! 356 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,440 See my Sunny Boy has thousands of daughters 357 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:25,840 in countries all over the world, yeah? Tokyo. Tokyo. 358 00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:27,520 Brazil. Brazil 359 00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:29,240 Mozambique. Mozambique. 360 00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:31,840 (CHUCKLES) You mean to say MOO‐zambique. 361 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:34,600 (LAUGHS) Right. (CLEARS THROAT) 362 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:37,000 Well, we'd really like to meet him. 363 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,000 Yeah, we really would, we really would. 364 00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:42,840 But before we do that, I couldn't get a group snap 365 00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:45,000 of all the four of ye, could I? 366 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:48,600 Kind of like the human side behind the animal's success. 367 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:51,000 Yeah, yeah. Course. Why not? 368 00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:52,880 Thanks. 369 00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:55,200 Lovely. Right, if you assemble yourselves... 370 00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:57,000 (CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY) 371 00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:59,440 # THE CASTAWAYS: Liar Liar 372 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:01,800 # Your nose is longer than a telephone wire 373 00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:05,680 # Ask me, baby, why I'm sad 374 00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:08,760 # You've been out all night, know you've been bad 375 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:11,080 # Don't tell me different, know it's a lie... # 376 00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:14,000 Listen, man, I'm sorry I didn't come to visit you more. 377 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:18,600 Um... Just...you know, I felt so guilty about you ending up in there. 378 00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:21,800 It's all right. Forget it. You took a bullet for us 379 00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:24,000 and I'm grateful to you, right? 380 00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:27,920 Any one of us on that Tillerton trip could've ended up inside, so... 381 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:30,280 I'm not... You can't grass on your mates. 382 00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:32,880 I wasn't gonna do that, was I, you know? 383 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:37,120 You can't do that. Just like you can't be telling your missus 384 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:39,120 shit she doesn't need to know, Dildo. 385 00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:42,560 Have you told her about the fucking guy who got his head taken off? 386 00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:45,480 She told me she didn't blab. Of course she fucking did. 387 00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:47,240 Christ on a bike. Do you believe that? 388 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:49,280 Don't lose your head. 389 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:52,600 Fuck! 390 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:57,520 Well, she... You fucking turnip. 391 00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,680 Use your brain, you handsome moron. 392 00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:02,440 Just keep her out of your life. Yeah, well, I have. 393 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:04,280 Good. 394 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:07,840 Fuck, dude. I don't want to go back inside for anyone. It was terrifying. 395 00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:10,440 Oh, oh. Are we on? Yeah. Where's he? 396 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,480 Tom! Tommy! Come the fuck on. 397 00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:14,240 Terrible tracksuit. Come on. 398 00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:21,040 (LOCK BEEPS) 399 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:22,400 (ANIMAL GRUNTS) 400 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:25,520 There he is...the film star. 401 00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:29,040 Wow. He's a beauty. 402 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:32,520 Like I told you. Ruth, walk me through the process. 403 00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:35,120 Before he inseminates the lovely ladies, 404 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,040 how do you extract the semen? 405 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:39,160 Simple. We excite him with a bit of cow spray 406 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:42,760 and get him to mount another bull while we... So he's gay, is he? 407 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:46,080 No. She just said another bull ‐ He's artificially excited. 408 00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:49,600 Yeah, but he's happy to get up on the back of another boy and... 409 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,800 ..give it a go Well, he's not fussy, is he? 410 00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:56,720 He just wants to release himself. For top‐quality sperm 411 00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:59,080 he can only be released once every month or two. 412 00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:02,760 Once you've collected the semen, you freeze it. Where is that stored? 413 00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:05,080 Shall we just agree that he's bi, so? Ashley! 414 00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:08,720 I'm just saying. We just collect the semen in some glass vials and... 415 00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:11,760 Mum? The vials, where are they stored? I feel a bit... Fuck. 416 00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:15,280 Ruth? Where's the freezer? It's... The vials? 417 00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:16,680 (HEAVY THUD) Oh... 418 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:19,680 Fuck's sake. You ruined that with all your gay questions. 419 00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:22,320 The bull mounts boys, Erin. (MOOING) 420 00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:25,160 See he's agreeing with us. Oh, careful. It's all right, calm down. 421 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,640 How much did you put in? The two of them are out in minutes. 422 00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:30,640 Fucking two, like Tommo said. (BULL GRUNTS) 423 00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:34,080 We need to find the freezer. You check in there. Yeah, I will. 424 00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:37,200 You go. I'll try and find the others. (MOOING) Whoa, Sunny. 425 00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:41,000 We're both gay men. All we want is a few of your baby tears, all right? 426 00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:42,840 (GRUNTING) Erin! 427 00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:45,400 Hello? Lads? 428 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:47,680 'Ey, lads? Oh, fuck. You big fucker. 429 00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:51,400 Shit. Jesus Christ, you're fucking strong, dude. 430 00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:54,440 Get off! Shit. Have you found any jizz? 431 00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:57,560 I'm saying shit out of joy and happiness. Fucking shit! 432 00:21:57,600 --> 00:22:00,720 Ooh, shit. You're a good lad. You're a good lad. 433 00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:02,600 (BARKS) 434 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:04,800 Fuck! Shut the door. 435 00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:07,320 Oh, my God. Tommo! What is it? 436 00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:09,760 All right, all right. 437 00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:13,160 Remember, it's more scared of you than you are of it. Is it? 438 00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:15,200 Just open the fucking door. 439 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:18,640 Oh, it's got a code. Try 1‐2‐3‐4. 440 00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:21,440 It's not gonna be that, is it? Try 9‐9‐9‐9. 441 00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:23,480 (MOOING) No. Four zeros. 442 00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:26,320 (KEYPAD BEEPS) No. We're not getting in here, are we? 443 00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:28,440 Which is why I specially said 444 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:31,320 you need to see the frozen jizz before they pass out. 445 00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:34,640 Obviously two drops was too much, wasn't it? Have we fucked it? 446 00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:36,680 Yeah, we've fucked it. Fuck! 447 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:39,000 Unless... DYLAN: Unless what? 448 00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:42,760 Well, unless we take the big lad here with us. 449 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:44,920 (MOOING) 450 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:47,600 'Ey up, it's the police. What the fuck do they want? 451 00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:50,440 Oh, shit, it's Slater. They must know we have the bull. 452 00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:52,480 CARDI: Caught red‐handed. 453 00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:57,640 Afternoon, officer. It's afternoon, detective. 454 00:22:57,680 --> 00:23:01,240 You're milking it, man. It's starting to look like harassment, girls. 455 00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:05,320 Oh, what's that? It's a search warrant for the entire site. 456 00:23:05,360 --> 00:23:08,680 A search warrant? What you hoping to find? Contraband cows? 457 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:10,960 I've had information that you're in cahoots 458 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,120 with convicted criminal Vincent O'Neil. 459 00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:15,720 (LAUGHS) Ooh, who's told you that? 460 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:20,160 Weed, stolen wheels, sexual debauchery. Farmers? 461 00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,480 Fuck off. Too niche even for me, sweetheart. 462 00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:25,280 Fine. Search. 463 00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:29,560 But I want every vest and every skiddy Y‐front 464 00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:33,960 back where you found it or I'll be bringing my lawyers in. 465 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,240 Ladies. Bend 'em over, lads. 466 00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:41,320 Weird. "Bend 'em over." What are you bending us over for? 467 00:23:41,360 --> 00:23:43,360 Catch you later. Ooh, eh. 468 00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:47,960 Get the bull in the cow shed and watch out for its blind spot. What's that? 469 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:49,920 What's a blind... Jim? What's a bl... Jim? 470 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:53,840 Fucking hell, man. (SHOUTING) 471 00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:56,400 Come on, big lad. 472 00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:58,880 I'm so hot. (INDISTINCT SPEECH) 473 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:01,960 No! Red! Cardi. Put it away. 474 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:03,840 Shit. Knobhead. Go on! 475 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,200 # SHARHABIL AHMED: Argos Farfish 476 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:09,240 Har! Har! We've such a big treat for you later. That's it. 477 00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:12,000 Nice and gentle. 478 00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:13,840 Har! Har! 479 00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:18,000 A big treat after this. A big treat after this. Grrr! 480 00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:20,240 (SHOUTING) 481 00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:22,200 Yay! Yep. 482 00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:28,640 Right, listen. The way I see it, we've got a tiny window here. 483 00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:32,080 We've got to get matey boy to shoot his load, collect as much as we can 484 00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:35,040 and then we fuck him off back to his original owner, right? 485 00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:37,000 Or...we keep the bull. 486 00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:39,040 A‐grade wazz, licence to print money. 487 00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:41,840 Oh, yeah. Like the goose that laid the g‐golden egg. 488 00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:43,760 And how did that end? How did that end? 489 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:47,120 I fucking don't know. It's like a cautionary tale, innit, for kids. 490 00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:50,040 To do with greed and shit like that. I dunno. 491 00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:52,600 I'm going to Google that. Don't... JJ. 492 00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:55,000 Let's not Google that, let's fucking YouTube 493 00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:58,520 how to wank a ginger bull off. We can't do it, they use stimulants 494 00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:01,880 and specialised equipment and stuff. No, no. Way I see it, right, 495 00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:04,720 a wank is a wank is a wank. 496 00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:08,880 The todger, be it human, dog, badger or bull, responds to touch. 497 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:14,560 Ergo, all we need is to get matey boy here aroused and merry jizzmas. 498 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:17,520 Eurgh. Erin, whack on your Marigolds. 499 00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:20,840 (SOFTLY) Love you. I'm not doing it. He's actually quite gay though, 500 00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:23,480 Sunny Boy, so a man is definitely better. Cardi then. 501 00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:25,360 You can fuck off. You do it. 502 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,280 I'm not fucking doing it. Tommo, you own a sex dungeon 503 00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:31,040 For the umpteenth... What I own is an erotic parlour. 504 00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:34,160 We don't stretch to bestiality. There were one time with a rabbit, 505 00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:37,200 but that were going too far. Fucking rabbit. What could do with a... 506 00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:39,040 Listen, do you have, like, 507 00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:41,400 stuff to bring men off in your horrid dungeon? 508 00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:43,400 Course I do. What kind of shit do you have? 509 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:45,920 You name it, mate. We've got er...tingly lube, 510 00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:48,440 fake gushing vag. My personal favourite ‐ 511 00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:50,720 the chilli inserter. Where's that go? 512 00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:53,320 Where the fuck do you think it goes? Right up the arse, 513 00:25:53,360 --> 00:25:55,240 you fucking great lemon. 514 00:25:55,280 --> 00:26:01,240 Right, we'll get the chilli inserter, you two dickheads find a sexy cow. 515 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:04,800 Where's the weed, boys? Where's the stolen motors? 516 00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:09,400 Is that it? Oh, no. It's a flower vase. 517 00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:15,440 Oh, is that 'em? Oh, no. It's a porcelain frog. 518 00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:17,000 (CHUCKLES) 519 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:19,600 What's this then, eh? 520 00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:22,160 POLICEMAN: Over here, sir. 521 00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:24,960 Oh, dear. 522 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:28,440 Weaponry? Those are depinned. They're memorabilia. 523 00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:29,880 Sir. 524 00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:35,840 And this? It's a Luger. It's from the First World War. 525 00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:39,760 Dangerous weapons. What has he got planned? 526 00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:43,240 I've got a big one, sir. Shall I get it out? Go on. 527 00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:47,480 You're nicked. 528 00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:49,480 (MOOING) (COAXES) 529 00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:52,160 Er...hello. This one's quite fit. 530 00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:54,320 Based on what? Nice nose. 531 00:26:54,360 --> 00:26:56,560 He's not going to be looking at her nose. 532 00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:59,360 Sunny Boy will be looking at the arse. Look at her arse. 533 00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:02,080 I'm not an expert on arses. Check the udders then. 534 00:27:02,120 --> 00:27:05,120 What others? Not the others, the udders of the cow. 535 00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:08,320 The swingy‐down bit. Have you never been on a farm before? 536 00:27:08,360 --> 00:27:10,280 Yes, I've been on a farm. (SQUELCHING) Uhh! 537 00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:13,080 (LAUGHS) I stepped straight in poo there. 538 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:15,920 (SPLASHING) Oh! 539 00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:17,640 I fucking slid on that one. 540 00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:19,680 Right, I need go and pick Tyler up. 541 00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:22,960 Any excuse for you to get out of wanking a bull off. (LAUGHS) 542 00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,840 Eh? (BOTH LAUGH) 543 00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:28,120 Before you go I do need to talk to you, actually. Oh. Go on. 544 00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:30,480 I've got a bloody problem. What kind of problem? 545 00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:32,840 A McCann problem. (SIGHS) 546 00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:35,400 He's locked me off. He's not answering me calls. 547 00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:39,880 There's no communication. It's like I'm fucking persona non gratis. 548 00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:41,920 Grata. Grata. Yeah. 549 00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:45,640 Honestly, I never said a word. I kept my mouth shut. 550 00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:49,720 The police were offering me less time if I only grassed 551 00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:52,480 and I kept me fucking gob shut. Terence who? 552 00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:56,320 Maybe...he wants to stay on the safe side until things quieten down. 553 00:27:56,360 --> 00:27:58,800 I don't know though. If I'm no use to him, 554 00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:02,240 then I'm just a worry to him and that frightens the shit out of me. 555 00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:05,160 He is a ruthless man, Erin. You know? 556 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:08,640 Come here. 557 00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:12,640 I don't like you worrying. You'll be fine. 558 00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:17,040 You know... (CLEARS THROAT) 559 00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:19,480 You know that thing you said to me? Mm. 560 00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:23,040 That you whispered in my ear when I got arrested. Yeah. 561 00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:25,760 Did you mean it? 562 00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:30,640 Yeah. 563 00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:32,720 Yeah, I did. 564 00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:36,600 (SIGHS) But Vin... know, it's all right. 565 00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:38,640 You don't have to explain yourself. 566 00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:40,680 I know you've a lot going on, got your exams, 567 00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:44,320 you wanna get the fuck out of here cos it's miserable. (CHUNTERS) 568 00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:49,280 It just meant a lot to me, that's all. Hearing that. 569 00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:54,960 Do you know that I fancy you loads? 570 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:57,600 Shut up. I fancy you... Shut up. ..every single day. 571 00:28:57,640 --> 00:28:59,440 Fucking nightmare. I need to get Tyler. 572 00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:02,000 Get the fuck out of here. I've got to wank a bull off. 573 00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:05,240 Oh, Jesus. Come on. Get out. Get out of it. Good luck. 574 00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:08,320 (CHUCKLES) Right, Vincent, 575 00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:10,360 let's titillate a bull 576 00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:19,040 Anyone seen Jimbo? He's not in his house. He's not come through. 577 00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:21,680 Has no‐one seen him? No. Fuck. (MOOING) 578 00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:24,080 We'll have to do it ourselves. How hard can it be? 579 00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:27,680 Boy meets girl, let nature take its course. JJ, get the fuck in there 580 00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:30,160 and release that cow. Cardi, get your Tupperware ready. 581 00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:33,680 Oh, Jesus. He's fucking coming for me. I am not touching that. 582 00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:36,160 Tupperware's a shit idea. Have you not got a bucket? 583 00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:37,920 Let the crown see the jewels. 584 00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:45,160 JJ, gi' over being a fucking mard arse. What are you reversing for? 585 00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:48,000 Oh, yeah, look at that. She's sniffing his dick, in't she? 586 00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:49,880 Straight in for the BJ. Very nice. 587 00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:52,760 Think of her as one the lads, Sunny Boy. Come on, sunshine, 588 00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:54,680 she's right next to your chopper. 589 00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:57,720 Fuck, he don't look too interested, does he? 590 00:29:57,760 --> 00:30:00,200 She looks like she's gonna mount him! (SIGHS) 591 00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:03,520 All right, we'll have to do it ourselves. Tommo get in there. What? 592 00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:07,120 Get in the bleedin' pen! And take your sex spray. 593 00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:09,760 Come on, Tom. Come on, Tom. 594 00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:12,840 Christ, it's gritty. Gritty? 595 00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:16,360 Heavens above, it's enormous. It's like a French baguette. 596 00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:18,760 What flavour? What flavour(?) Beef. 597 00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:21,520 Can you imagine a beef baguette? I'm starving. 598 00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:25,520 Come on, sunshine, there we go. Give it up for your Uncle Tommo. 599 00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:28,360 You sound like a paedophile. Vinnie, you're putting me off. 600 00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:31,320 You're wanking off a fucking ginger jizz machine 601 00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:34,480 and calling yourself Uncle Tommy. You sound like a paedo. He's a bull. 602 00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:36,400 He can't understand me. Then why talk to him? 603 00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:38,680 Because, Dylan, in case you hadn't realised, 604 00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:42,440 I'm pleasuring a fucking bull and I am trying to... Ahhhh! (MOOING) 605 00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:45,920 Shut up. Get your Tupperware ready. Good lad. Good lad. 606 00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:49,680 Tommo, come on. It's getting hard. It's getting really fucking hard. 607 00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:51,800 Come on, son, get in there. (GRUNTS) 608 00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:54,160 Wait for it, Tom. (GROANS) 609 00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:56,880 I'm going. Arh. Come on, Tom. I'm cramping. 610 00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:59,280 No, no, no. Push through. Arh. 611 00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:02,400 I've got to swap arms. Don't stop, he's got a proper throb now. 612 00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:05,560 He's getting close. Take over! 613 00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:09,800 Get out of the way. (GROANS) Go on, Tom. Fucking... 614 00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:11,640 Tickle his balls. 615 00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:14,720 I swear to God, if I end up in a fucking psychiatric ward, 616 00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:17,880 we're gonna know what did it. It's coming. 617 00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:21,120 Get ready, lads! It's coming! Get ready! (MOOING) Now! 618 00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:24,600 (SPLUTTERING AND GROANING) 619 00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:31,480 How did we get on? None. Fuck all. 620 00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:33,920 Fuck! (VEHICLE APPROACHES) What's that? 621 00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:36,920 It's Jim, it's Jim, it's Jim. What? (SPLUTTERS) 622 00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:40,800 It's not Jim, it's a 4x4. It's not them, is it? We need to get out. 623 00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:43,880 He's got a drill. Why's he got a fucking drill? How've they found us? 624 00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:47,600 Fuck how they found us. Run. Hide. Hide, hide. Fuck. 625 00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:54,760 VICTOR: He's here. 626 00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:57,240 RUTH: Jesus Christ, all that semen wasted. 627 00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:59,240 It's warm. They're still here. 628 00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:01,040 Well, find 'em. 629 00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:03,320 We're gonna fucking kill ya! (COCKS GUN) 630 00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:06,160 You no‐good sons of bitches. 631 00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:08,480 You lying puke of the devil! 632 00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:10,960 To give her her dues, she's got a way with words. 633 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:13,120 I am a fair woman. DYLAN: You're a scary woman. 634 00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:15,960 So, if you come out now, I'll go lenient 635 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:17,680 OK. Where the fuck are you going? 636 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:22,920 Come to think of it, we're really in the shit here now. Yeah. Yeah. 637 00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:25,520 Right, what I'm thinking is this. 638 00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:28,320 One of us runs out, they will give chase. 639 00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:30,360 The rest of us escape. 640 00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:33,200 That's a good idea. Yeah. Who's gonna do that then? 641 00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:35,720 Last chance, 642 00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:38,760 you cocksucking whores of Jezebel! 643 00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:41,880 It's biblical, in't it? Bit homophobic maybe. 644 00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:44,720 It might be. Just give us that spray. 645 00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:47,720 Do you want tingly or cooling? 646 00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:49,840 Fucking... Give us tingly. Right. 647 00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:51,760 (MUTTERING) 648 00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:55,360 # Buona sera, signorina, buona sera 649 00:32:56,760 --> 00:33:00,000 # It is time to say good night to Napoli 650 00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:01,840 Arghh! 651 00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:05,280 # Though it's hard for us to whisper, buona sera 652 00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:08,440 (GUNSHOT) # With that old moon above 653 00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:11,600 # The Mediterranean sea, mmm... 654 00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:15,720 Where's the others? They all went in different directions. 655 00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:17,320 (MOBILE RINGS) 656 00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:20,520 Yeah? Hey, are you all safe? Yeah, we're fine. 657 00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:23,560 Fine. Thank fuck. Thought one of us had been killed for sure. 658 00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:26,320 Where shall me and Tommo meet you? You and Tommo? Where's Cardi? 659 00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:27,880 I thought he was with you. 660 00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:30,800 Shit. Shit? Shit. (GUNSHOT) Fuck! 661 00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:35,160 (RINGS) That's him. 662 00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:39,640 Cardi? We've got your fat friend. Yeah, we know. We want him back. 663 00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:41,520 You're in no position to be making demands. 664 00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:44,600 He's covered in my Sunny Boy's gloop and that's thousands of pounds 665 00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:46,440 dripping down his fat fucking face. 666 00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:48,640 Sorry. We're sorry about that, all right? 667 00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:52,520 But you got your bull back. How did you find us? He's chipped. Like a car. Trackable. 668 00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:55,600 He's chipped like a car. Dyl, you were right. Clever innit, really? 669 00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:59,400 But you got him back so, you know, let's not make a thing out of this. 670 00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:01,800 Let bygones be bygones, you give Cardi back... 671 00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:03,800 If we don't get the frozen semen back, 672 00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:05,800 this lard‐arse goes in the slurry pit. 673 00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:08,240 What are you talking about? Don't play innocent. 674 00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:10,800 Your fat fuck of a friend did that and he got a slap. Tell 'em! 675 00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:13,320 Yeah. She slapped me hard. 676 00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:15,800 The frozen semen vials are gone, every one of them, 677 00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:19,120 and that's a lot of fucking money. Fucking stop. Just listen to me. 678 00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:22,160 We might be thieves, but I'm telling you we're not liars. Well... 679 00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:26,240 We're not liars. And, you know, we did try to drug you. 680 00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:29,480 And we tried to steal your bull. We even tried the semen. Didn't work. 681 00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:32,200 We fucking did. We tried to steal the semen from the freezer 682 00:34:32,240 --> 00:34:35,280 and couldn't get in it. So I'm telling you, whoever stole that jizz, 683 00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:39,240 it wasn't us. In that case, the fat fuck dies. 684 00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:44,440 Oh, fucker. Ring her back. Bastard. Is she actually gonna kill him? 685 00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:47,800 You sure you didn't steal the vials? Think about that fucking question! 686 00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:51,840 Straight to voicemail. If we didn't nick it, who did? Fuck knows, dude. 687 00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:55,920 Right, OK, I've got a little confession to make. 688 00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:57,760 'You know when we took her to the woods?' 689 00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:01,200 I need to pee. You don't think we're gonna fall for that old one? 690 00:35:01,240 --> 00:35:04,200 No, I really do. I swear. I'm bursting. 691 00:35:04,240 --> 00:35:07,400 Listen, love, I've got a prostate the size of a hard‐boiled egg 692 00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:11,320 and even I don't wanna go. You c‐can't let her p‐piss her pants. 693 00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:13,160 Y‐ Come on. Oh, you... (GROANS) 694 00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:15,760 Is this all right here, yeah? Yeah, yeah. Fine. 695 00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:17,120 Let me get those off you. 696 00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:21,840 Go ahead. 697 00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:22,880 Turn around. 698 00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:26,680 Turn... Turn around! Yeah. Sorry. Of course, yeah. 699 00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:29,800 Ohh! Cardi! 700 00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:32,480 Oww! Fuck off! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Come on! 701 00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:35,400 Right, yeah. For fuck's sake! Come on! Coming! 702 00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:37,400 He fucking said not to let her pee. 703 00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:38,760 Hit him. 704 00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:41,320 Ow. Idiot. DYLAN: Ten to one Lesley stole the vials. 705 00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:46,240 I'll do a voice. Don't do a fucking voice. 706 00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:50,160 (HEAVY THUDDING) Fucking hell, you're like the fucking police. Sorry. 707 00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:55,040 Lesley Fisher? Lesley Anne. 708 00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:58,800 Package here for you. Eh? Sign here, please. 709 00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:00,080 Ha, it's a ruse! Dickhead. 710 00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:03,800 What's with all this fucking pink? I like it. 711 00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:06,960 I like toast. I don't peg it all over me shagging house, do I, dickhead? 712 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:09,040 Get out of my house. Have you found owt? 713 00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:13,120 Nothing in the freezer. Shit. Look, them farmers are not fucking about. 714 00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:16,320 (MOBILE PINGS) They're gonna hurt our mate. Where's the jizz? Vin. 715 00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:19,480 Oh, fuck! There's only you and that fucking snapper 716 00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:22,920 know where that jizz was kept. It doesn't take a genius ‐ (SPITS) 717 00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:25,760 The fuck? Mind my shoes. You spat on my dick a bit. 718 00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:29,880 You ruined my feature, walked me to the woods like a dog to be put down. 719 00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:33,160 You drugged them, you robbed them. You deal with the consequences. 720 00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:36,600 How do you know we drugged 'em? Well, I...I... (MOCK STUTTER) 721 00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:39,040 Shut the fuck up! Where's that jizz? 722 00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:43,640 Everyone fuck summat up. Grab summat pink and just fucking... Yes, Ashley! 723 00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:44,920 Go on, boy. 724 00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:48,440 OK, OK, OK. 725 00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:53,600 Don't touch it. Hurry the fuck up before they drown our mate in pig shit. 726 00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:57,080 Dickhead, what's that? Why would I look in a garage? Nice one. 727 00:36:57,120 --> 00:37:00,600 There's summat doing my head in. The freezer where they kept the jizz, 728 00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:03,880 how did you know the code for that? Guesswork. It was 1‐2‐3‐4. 729 00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:07,560 You fucking said that. I said that. He said that. Can we get on with it? 730 00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:09,840 Now, it needs handling carefully. 731 00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:13,880 If it's allowed to get warm, the whole lot will be ruined. 732 00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:16,840 So, you boys be careful. Need to be careful with it 733 00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:18,600 (ALL SHOUT OUT) Oh, shit. 734 00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:22,240 Fuck off, Lesley. What the fuck? What have you done that for? 735 00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:25,480 You've killed my mate. You've fucked us. I'm gonna fucking go apeshit. 736 00:37:25,520 --> 00:37:28,440 What are all these fucking gloves about, Lesley? You fucking... 737 00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:32,760 I think I might have just come up with a plan B. 738 00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:36,400 You're going nowhere, you fucking nightmare. This is too gloopy. 739 00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:40,560 We need to whisk it more. Water. Put some water in it, you knobhead. 740 00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:42,920 What the fuck's that? That is my plan B. 741 00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:47,560 What the fuck's that out of, a shrew? Give me six and a half minutes and I'll get you some more. 742 00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:50,000 Fuck me, you better hurry up. Come on, put some out, bud. 743 00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:52,880 Guys, come on. Whisk then. Whisk! I'm whisking. 744 00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:55,240 Whisk like your fucking life depended on it. 745 00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:57,640 # THE CAPITOLS: Cool Jerk 746 00:38:03,240 --> 00:38:04,480 Shit. 747 00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:07,800 You all right? 748 00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:10,040 We've er...got your jizz here. 749 00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:12,000 What are you doing? Got your semen. 750 00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:16,160 You're late. I know, but we sent you a text. Did you not get it? 751 00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:19,280 Yeah, we got it but, you know, a deadline's a deadline. 752 00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:22,560 Yes, it is. We're fucking here now though. Do you want the jizz or not? 753 00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:26,040 Course we do. But you see, you've caused us a lot of trouble. I know. 754 00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:29,640 I mean, look at my fucking eyes! They're still tingling. 755 00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:32,920 (CLICKS FINGERS) 'Ey, lads. (HAMMERS CLICK) Lads. 756 00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:35,520 (PANICKED SHOUTS) Fuck! (AIR HISSES) 757 00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:38,040 Out the van! All right. 758 00:38:42,200 --> 00:38:43,520 Fuck. 759 00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:46,240 Clothes off. What? Come on. 760 00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:50,600 You drugged and sprayed us. You're not tricking us a third time. 761 00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:53,960 And you're fucking late. So I want it all off. Underpants an' all. 762 00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,480 Clothes off now! Willies out on a farm? 763 00:38:56,520 --> 00:38:58,560 Do you wanna see your mate again? (HAMMERS CLICK) 764 00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:01,640 Get your hogs out. What? Just get 'em out. 765 00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:05,680 It's fucking freezing. Fuck, bro. JJ, come on. 766 00:39:05,720 --> 00:39:09,240 It's like some weird '70's porno this, in't it? (CHUCKLES) 767 00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:14,520 Fuck, it's cold. 768 00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:17,360 He's a big lad, in't he? Yeah, he is a big lad. 769 00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:20,280 He's known for that ‐ Fucking... Where's Cardi?! 770 00:39:20,320 --> 00:39:22,600 Check the semen. Can't get my fucking trousers off. 771 00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:24,440 Nippy, in't it? 772 00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:29,200 Is it good? Is it all there? It's a funny colour. 773 00:39:30,320 --> 00:39:32,920 How do we know you haven't swapped that? With what? 774 00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:36,200 What would we switch it with in this time? Our own? Ridiculous. 775 00:39:36,240 --> 00:39:38,600 Fine, but we'll be testing it, yeah? 776 00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:41,520 And if that is not film‐star splat... (CHUCKLES) 777 00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:45,200 ..I'll be coming after every single one of you with a fucking scythe. 778 00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:48,160 What's a scythe? I have no idea. 779 00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:50,600 Come on then. Why does he never say owt? 780 00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:57,480 Right. Here's your fat friend. Oh, lads. Cardi, you all right, love? 781 00:39:57,520 --> 00:40:00,000 Mind them pigs. Come on, love. You all right? 782 00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:01,840 Good lad. Dude, dude, dude. 783 00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:04,240 Fucking touching. They said they were gonna 784 00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:06,160 t‐throw me in the fucking slurry pit. 785 00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:09,880 Well, we're fucking here now, aren't we? Let's go then. 786 00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:13,560 Oh, for fuck's sake. You're joking? Fucking hell. 787 00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:16,880 Go on then, fuck off. Nice jacket that. 788 00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:20,880 They were designer them. 789 00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:23,360 This is fucking Jim. Candy from a fucking baby. 790 00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:25,280 I should have stayed in t'nick. 791 00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:27,080 Get in. 792 00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:30,880 Did you get bummed? No, I didn't get fucking bummed, dude. Get in the van. 793 00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:34,960 We'll have some chips. Let's get t'radio on. Sorry about the trouble. 794 00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:37,520 All right. (MUTTERS) 795 00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:40,880 Do you want chips, Cardi? Who's gonna go in? We're all naked. 796 00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:46,600 Mr McCann. 797 00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:49,640 Hello. 798 00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:52,600 My name's Erin. 799 00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:54,680 I'm a friend of Vincent O'Neil. 800 00:40:55,560 --> 00:40:57,440 And? 801 00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:00,640 I've got a proposal. 802 00:41:05,040 --> 00:41:08,040 AccessibleCustomerService@sky.uk