Do you know what I think? What?
I think I could make you really happy.
I'd love you, care for you.
I'd be a brilliant dad to Tyler, you know.
And everything would be amazing...
34 percent of the time.
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
A brigadier? A brigadier.
There was an army colonel for a bit, but he popped his clogs,
then there is a mayor's wife, I drop off for her once a week.
Honestly, it is fucking harmless. Medicinal is what it is,
this lady has got MS here. You're basically the local doctor then.
I am Doctor Vinnie PHDizzel.
PHD. What the fuck does that stand for, PHD?
I have no idea.
I think the D is Doctor? No, I don't think it is.
Wait till you see the smile on her face. Honestly,
watch how much joy I bring to our Linda. Linda!
It's open. Y'alright, love?
Do I look alright? These seat sores are the bane of my life,
will you get me cushion and slide it under?
Yeah, can Sammy help? Yeah. Hiya, love.
Hi, Linda. You the new girlfriend, then?
Shut up, gobshite. For godsake.
Last girlfriend I had had bloody pig tails.
Kinky. He's a good one, this one, Sammy.
Keep hold of him. Heart of gold.
Trying to get out of paying for the weed? Yeah. Is that what it is?
Come on, on three. On 3. 1, 2, 3. (HORN BEEPS) Wah!
All right, one more. 1, 2, 3. (HORN BEEPS)
Help me. What the hell have you got there?
Never mind that, get the legs. Legs?
Dylan, can we use upstairs? What for?
What the fuck does it look like? Advanti...
Honestly, not a clue.
Are you ready for this? Gentlemen, this is the latest high‐tech
all‐singing, all‐dancing addition to my newly renovated erotic venue.
Sex dungeon. It's not a fucking dungeon, Dylan.
It's underground, Tommo. That's what I got now that Erin's got into bed
with McCann. Jesus fucking Christ. Anyway, I thought to myself,
Tommo, onwards and upwards. In with the new and so, on that note,
gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to...
Alison. Wow. She's...
Fuckable? (STUTTERING) Freaky?
Life like. Well, that's the whole point, innit?
100 percent thermoplastic. Built‐in pulsating vagina,
depth of seven inches. Is that it, yeah?
Metal skeleton. Real feel, no funny smells.
Anal depth, 6.7 inches. Oral depth, five inches.
It's deep, yeah. Deep.
So my questions to you, lads is this, which one of you lucky boys
is going to test drive her? You are fucking kidding me.
I wouldn't fit in that. JJ.
Like I'm gonna fuck Alison behind Sugar's back. Cardi. Cardi. Cardi.
I will pay you. Why don't you do it?
She's not my type, is she? What do you mean, not your type?
Well, she's not human for a start. That's the point though, isn't it?
If you must know, I've been having these fucking nightmares.
Freaky fucking dreams. Honestly, they have put me off my game.
I wake up in a blind panic.
What happens in the dreams? I'm fast asleep, in my dream,
in my own bed.
Or at least it seems like my own bed,
except it feels like satin sheets, whereas I would always plumb
for Egyptian cotton. And I become aware
that I'm being caressed, softly, under the covers
like, not unpleasant, but the sensation starts to bring me round,
and I half open my eyes as I become more aware of my surroundings,
I pull back the covers to remind myself who I'm in bed with...
and it's only then I see... (SCREAMS)
Erin? Honestly, chaps, I am exhausted,
a shadow of my former self. Drinking to knock myself out at night.
Have you tried wanking? Of course I've fucking tried wanking, Ash.
It's my first point of call in any situation.
But you try getting it up when there is a threat of a fucking
pupil‐less Erin looming over you. Probably just anxiety,
cos you guys fell out.
Why don't you just make up? Yeah.
Maybe. But I don't need her, do I, Cardi?
Cos I have got this lovely lady, so, the question remains,
who is volunteering?
Did I or did I not say, pulsating vagina?
My dad was never really around,
my mum used to say he was away working.
Turns out he was actually inside, either that
or off on one of his idiot schemes.
How old were you when your mum left? Seven.
That's so little. Mmm.
Christ, I wonder sometimes whether that is half the reason
I am they way I am. I mean, my brain is just...
Christ, it is fucked. I have to take pills, you know.
It's a fucking shame.
You are bonny in the woods. Fuck off. You do, you suit them.
I like it. Bet you missed it here when you were inside?
I did, yeah. What were you actually in for?
Something to do with a burial?
It's a long story, that one. I'm not going anywhere.
(SIGHS)
It's better I don't tell you about it, keep you safe.
This fella, Terence McCann, he is just a piece of work.
The guy Erin works for?
He's just not a nice guy. He fucking hurts people, you know.
And that is the last thing I want happening to you, so...
Hi, Albie. Hi. It'll only be for an hour
while I do some work. Has he brought a game? Yeah, got Connect Four.
I love Connect Four. I know you do and you're good at it as well.
Have a good time, yeah. Bye, Albie. Bye.
(KNOCKING)
What's going on? Department of Environment.
This erection you are living in is here illegally. What?
This land has been sold, and your erection... Come on now, you,
with your erections... Has to be removed within seven days.
Hey, hang on a minute... It's all in there.
Fuck me, I've been here years, man. Yeah, illegally.
It's the fucking woods, people don't own the woods. They do now.
Seven days. Alright.
Shit.
Jimbo?
Oh! Fuck are you two old cunts doing?
What does it like? It looks like you are fondling up a ginger horse.
There you are, then. We are entering the East Lancs show
and this time we're gonna fucking win.
We've set aside our previous differences to come together
in a common cause. It's like when Batman and The Joker worked together
to defeat Owlman. Owlman, was it, it was fucking Penguin.
Owlman. Penguin. Owlman. Penguin.
Oi! For fuck's sake. I need help.
The fucking council have sold the land on. They are gonna kick me out
my fucking shack. I have got seven days lads. They can't do that.
Well, apparently, they can. That's right on the edge of my farm,
that's classic woodland. There's fucking rare bluebells down there,
little fucking dormice and chiff chaffs. That's right,
I saw a willow warbler down there just last week. Listen,
fuck, it's my home. I can't live in a fucking house.
What the fuck am I gonna do? Help me out, for fuck sake.
Hey, what about your secret club. You're always bragging
that you know MPs and council members. Alright, well what's this
secret club, then, Shirley? It's a secret. He's a mason.
Prove it. Well, then, fuck, Shirley, have a word for me, man.
No can do, sorry. We have very strict rules against that kind of thing. Fuck.
In fact forget I was ever here,
forget this conversation ever took place.
Oi, Paslowski...your secret friends are cunts.
Your secret friends are cunts! I haven't got any secret friends.
But if you did, they'd be cunts!
Three illegal operations.
Weed grow, Rat and Cutter, car garage,
we hit them all at the same time.
We want to catch them in the act so the timing is vital. Samantha.
I'm working on it. I'd say I'm pretty close
to being able to provide a hit time. We're gonna take these scroats down.
And when we've got them,
we'll make them squeal about that bastard McCann.
(BANGING) Erin! Erin!
Albie? Where's Tyler?
He's gone. I've lost him. He just disappeared.
Tyler?
Tyler! Have you seen him?
No, it's McCann, Vinnie, I know it is.
All because of that 30 fucking grand. Albie, listen to me,
did he get in a car with any men? He can't remember. I can't remember.
It's alright. It's alright. Erm, why was he at the fucking shops anyway?
He went to get Tyler some sweets, I didn't tell him he couldn't.
I'm sorry. No. No. No, sweetheart. It's not your fault.
It's alright. I'm really worried, Vin. I'll have to call the police.
What if they hurt him? Oi, listen, calm down a bit.
I'm gonna get him back. I'll get him back today,
I promise you. Everything is gonna be alright. I promise, sweetheart.
(PHONE RINGING) Shit, it's Sugar. Shug!
(SIGHS) He's at home. He's at home. Thank fuck for that. Christ.
They said I had to go because you needed me home.
They used your name so I thought they knew you.
Did they say anything? No. They just asked me if I knew my Uncle Terence.
Alright, well you are home now so it doesn't matter but listen to me.
Don't ever get in a strange car
with people you don't know ever again. Right? Not unless Mummy says.
Yeah. OK. You are a good lad.
Eat your biscuits.
MCCANN (VOICEMAIL): You have reached Terence McCann. Please leave a message after the beep.
I don't know about this, Vin. Kidnapping's not really our thing,
is it? We're sending a message, Ashley. I wouldn't mind
but they bloody know me these two. (SINGING)
(SIGHS) That's enough.
Girls. Oi. Oi. Oi. You don't even know what a narwhal is, do you?
What is a narwhal? It's a whale with a horn. It's for breaking up ice.
Is it? Where's the fat one? Now, girls, that's not nice, is it.
No, it's not, so it's not. We'll be drinking a pint of Guinness
with me leprechaun. (GIRLS LAUGH)
# Narwhals, narwhals, swimming in the ocean...
Just make the call, will you? Oi, that is enough.
(PHONE RINGING)
(PHONE PINGS)
Right, now before you start going out of your fucking mind,
they're fine. In fact, they are extremely annoying
and it is me that is fucking traumatised.
Take them... Take them fucking home now.
Ah, now you see, you sound cross there.
I was pretty fucking furious too when you had a word with my child.
Your child? You and Erin? Jesus Christ, yes, me and Erin.
We had a one‐night stand thing. I am warning you, man,
threaten me as much as you want, but involve my kid with summat like this
again and I will fucking murder you. Erin owes me 30 grand. Right,
and you will get it. When? Fucking soon.
You've got until the end of the fucking week. Put them on the phone.
No. You fucking lay a hand on those girls, and I swear... Listen to you,
I am not a fucking monster like you, I wouldn't hurt a child, I am proving a fucking point.
Proving a fucking point? You're a dead cunt. You were nearly dead
before this stunt, but now you are fucking dead.
And that bitch that bore your child is fucking dead.
And that boy I will leave a fucking orphan! Now take them home!
How did it go? Not great. Right. Let's drop them off.
Vinnie was telling me all about why he went to prison. Crazy.
Yeah.
Were you there, when Tillerton had his accident?
Er...yeah. Yeah. But you know, that's all behind us now.
Vinnie's done his time, it's all forgotten.
Must be dead scary though, Erin still working with McCann?
And you two didn't...? Fuck.
Shit, it's broken.
Sorry, hi, you OK?
(BELL DINGS)
Oh, it's you. What do you want? What the fuck is that in your hand?
An ear. Why would you bring and ear to the front of house?
I mean, this is your establishment, man. I could have been
a grieving family member. You know, lost my husband
or summat. I walk in here and there is a one‐eyed fucking pirate
with a severed ear in his hand. It's not severed, in fact, the reason
I'm holding it is cos of the way he died. The man had his entire head
squashed under the wheel of an articulated lorry.
Caved like a melon. But staggeringly,
the ear came out unscathed. That is staggering.
Which is why it's going in my trophy cabinet.
What are you on about, trophy cabinet? Body parts that have
fascinating stories connected to their deaths. Like a 3‐D diary
kind of thing. For fuck... Shut up. You've got the body parts
of people's loved ones in a cabinet? The man's head was squashed
to mush under a fucking truck, do you really think his family
are gonna care whether I keep his fucking ear in formaldehyde?
Hmm. Do you wanna see? Yes. Come on, son.
What did you come here for anyway? I need to get your Stephen to bell me,
it's about his dad. McCann, why?
I need him to organise some sort of a truce. With his dad, unlikely.
He thinks he's an effeminate artist. Yeah.
Well, can you get him to bell me?
Behold, the trophy cellar. What the fuck?
What do you think? What do you mean, "what do I think"?
I think you are a fucking lunatic, is what I think.
Look at the state of this shit. What the fuck are these here? Brain.
Ah, fuck me. A foot.
What is with the tongue? What is that all about?
Wife cut it out after she caught her husband giving cunnilingus
to the baby sitter. He bled to death. This is fucked.
Beautiful. Get it away. It's gonna look well there.
Are them bollocks there? What are they saying? That's a funny story.
There was this barbed wire fence‐ You know, don't. Fuck me.
That's the end of that story. Start and the end, barbed wire fence.
Big fucking slit down the centre of it. Jesus wept.
What's under that? Oh, that's nothing, empty, forget about it.
Come on. Alright.
(SCREAMING)
Ah! No. No.
I told you not to look. You were meant to fucking cremate that dude.
That is not... That is evidence. No one's gonna find it.
Besides, it's a great story. Head clean off, sewn on to another body.
It's my second favourite. Second favourite. That's nothing but trouble.
You'll fucking burn it. Say I don't?
Alright, alright, for fuck's sake. I am heartbroken.
I want you to know that. Fuck! Burn it!
Burn it.
Oi, get Stephen to bell me.
(EXHALES) Sammy, I know you're working, but I just...
I dunno, I just...
I dunno, actually.
I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you.
I am sorry it's a shit message. Already.
Just...if you want, give us a bell tomorrow or summat.
We can try and link up. Erm,
erm, fuck. Bye.
Bye, then. You fucking turd.
Shit.
(SIGHS)
Mmm. (RUSTLING)
Hello?
Shit.
Oh, you fucker! Alright, Vin.
You great dickhead, what the fuck are you doing in there?
(CLEARS THROAT)
I need a bit of company, mate.
It's my head, these fucking dreams, I can't be on me own.
Right, then fucking come on, then. Cheers, mate.
Fucking hell, dude, what's that?
She is jaundice yellow. She looks startled.
I am not fucking test driving that.
Just a quickie, fanny, funbags.
She was reduced for a quick sale, so I'm worried there might be
hidden damage. Fuck me. Hidden damage?
Baggy arse or summat, I don't know.
Christ, and what are you gonna be doing while I am humping the life
out of this? I'll go for a walk, won't I? Twiddle about. Fuck that,
dude, I am not shagging that thing. Jesus fucking Christ, Vincent,
it's a free shag and I can't even fucking give it away.
I suppose you are having your needs attended to by the scrumptious Samantha?
Well, not really.
Hmm?
Have you, err...?
(WHISTLES) Not exactly, no. Not exactly?
Well, not...fuck me, not at all. Has she sucked you off?
Dude, I am not supposed to... tell you shit like that.
Not supposed to. Hey, hey, hey, look who you are talking to, mate,
I am a broken man.
This year I've had fucking hell, dignity robbed,
livelihood stripped away from me. The least you can do, right,
is enlighten your mate with the details of your mucky mucky love life.
Now, then, have you had a go on the mammaries?
Yes. Right. Naked or through clothes? Through clothes.
What about the man's pubis? Uh‐uh.
Not yet. Not even through clothes?
Not even a dry hump? No, I haven't dry humped.
We've kissed. We have had a smooch up, but that is about it.
It's just about connection for now, you know.
She likes me. And I like her.
I tell her I am a bi‐polar fuck up, she listens and tells me I am not.
I think I feel something for her. (CHUCKLES)
Fair enough.
Now, then, what's your policy on spooning?
I can't have your willy near my bum. I won't sleep. Fine, you spoon me.
Next question, may I sleep in the altogether?
Dude, no. That is a firm no.
Jesus fucking Christ, when did you get to be such a fucking prude?
When I have to sleep with my midget mate naked.
I tell you what... What? It's actually quite cosy,
this place, ain't it? Yeah. I don't mind telling you.
I used to think it was a bit of a shithole.
Well, if that removal order comes through
I will be out on my fucking ear, won't I?
Oh, aye. Do you want any help with that?
I used to spank a bloke that works in the town hall. Actually, no,
come to think about it, he works in sanitation.
Do you know that fucking Shirley's a mason.
Yeah. Jim told me about it.
Knows all these people on the fucking council.
Said, will you give us a hand? Told me to fuck myself. Blonde twat!
Shirley. Yeah.
Because I seem to recall that Shirley's a sleepwalker, in't he?
Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Cos the thing about sleepwalkers, Vincent, is...
people get up to all sorts in their sleep, don't they? Hmm.
(CHUCKLES)
Shit.
Right, go on.
Now, then, a few lewd poses, right,
enough for your standard blackmail job.
There we go. Get snapping.
Fuck. Right, he's going for it.
Jesus, he's rampant.
We shouldn't be watching this, lads.
Fuck, dude.
Fucking hell, he's not actually.
Oh, poor Alison. Poor me, more like,
I've gotta clean her out.
Jesus Christ, I hope he don't rip her.
Oh, fucking hell! Fuck, dude.
(SHIRLEY MOANING)
How do you make it do that?
Good Lord, nobody should have to go through that. Poor Alison.
Alright, Dyldo? What are you doing here?
I need to talk to you, man. Alone.
What the fuck is going on? Dude, I don't know how to tell you this.
Dude, honestly, you are making me fucking nervous.
What's going on, Dyl? Erm...
It's Samantha. What about her?
I don't know who she is. I don't know what she is,
but you can't fucking trust her. What are you talking about?
She started asking loads of questions behind the bar,
and I were fucking... I were careful, after what happened with Sara,
I kept my gob shut, but it just bothered me,
and then I accidentally knocked her bag over and found this...
It's not a lighter, it's a fuck... it's a microphone.
(RECORDING PLAYS ON LAPTOP) SAM: How old were you when your mam left?
Seven. So little.
Christ, I wonder sometimes whether that is half the reason I am the way
I am. I mean, my brain is just... Christ, it's fucked.
I have to take pills, you know.
Fucking shame.
You are bonny in the woods.
I like it.
I bet you miss... (RECORDING STOPS)
(SIGHS)
Who is she? I dunno, man.
She could be a cop, maybe? An investigator?
I fucked up. How could you know, man.
None of us knew. She seems fantastic.
Dyl, I don't know what I fucking said to her. I mean, you know.
You were careful, but they know about the weed grow.
I trusted her. I know, dude. I'm sorry, man.
She fucking lied. She told me things about her fucking past,
her family and...
She kissed me.
I liked her.
I really liked her.
I am never trusting an outsider again.
I think we've got a problem.
What do you want?
Want to know if you'll reconsider speaking to your mason pals
to help Vinnie's shack. No.
I won't, and there's nothing you can say or do
that will make me change my mind.
Oh, really? (SHIRLEY MOANING ON PHONE)
Hi. JJ. Hey.
Dylan, how's it going? Good, yeah, how are you? Yeah, great, thanks.
Sandra's asked us to bring down the new optics from the function room,
can you come give me a hand? Yeah, no worries.
Get up to anything last night after you left here? Nah,
just stayed at home, quiet one. How about you?
Yeah, same, I was wrecked. It's hard work, this place.
Hello. (DOOR LOCKS)
What are you up to?
What's going on? Who the fuck are you?
What? Who are you working for?
Who do I work for? I work here.
Do you think I am a cunt?
It's a funny little thing, that. There you go.
Come on.
So why have you been doing that, then?
Why have you been recording all our chats?
Because I like to remember them, I like to have nice moments.
Look at me.
I really fucking fell for you. Do you know that?
I let you in. And I am really lonely.
You knew, didn't you?
Vin, can we speak alone?
No.
(SIGHS) Look at these people with me now.
They are all I have ever known.
I don't have anybody else, they are my entire family.
And if you fucked me over, fucking look at them.
You have fucked them over too, haven't you?
Are you police?
Yeah.
Is it Slater?
What have you told him?
Fucking, what have you told him? Everything.
Right. Listen...I started to like you,
I did, I swear, it started as a job
but then I got feelings and... She's lying.
I'm not. Say anything to get out of this room now, won't you?
Vinnie, I swear... I told you about my mum, didn't I?
And my dad.
Look, Slater wants you guys, but he wants McCann, too.
So if you let me, I can help you.
We can't trust you. Dylan, please, they're planning a raid,
they've done surveillance but they need me to tell them the right time.
We let her now and she's gonna go squealing straight to the cops.
I won't, Vin, I swear.
Trust me.
Why the fuck, after all this,
why would you help us, eh?
Why would you? Because...
..you've got a good heart.
(CLAMOURING)
(SIRENS BLARE, TYRES SCREECH)
All units standby unless active or urgent. Entry team forward.
POLICE: Armed police, stand still and show me your hands.
Armed police!
Police. (CLAMOURING)
Morning, lads.
Armed police.
What the fuck? POLICE (ON RADIO): Premise clear. No arrests made.
Fuck! Fuck's sake!
Armed police, do not move! Can I come in for a minute?
I am unarmed, I am unarmed. You alright?
I have to be honest, you have, I mean,
Jesus, Carl, you have fucked me... Can I sit down? Can I sit down?
Oh, God. Carl, I have got to hand it to you, man,
you have royally fucked me over.
I am fucking heartbroken with the Sam thing. I had no idea, man.
Seems like you did. Well, yeah, but fuck me, only just, dude.
Christ lads, you were really bloody close. Really close.
Yeah. But anyway you have done really well,
I think you have fucked me right over and I just don't want you
hanging on my back for the rest of my life so...fair cop.
Alright, what's going on? Nothing. Crap. Cuff him.
Now, back in the van.
Leave him here. But sir... Leave him and go. I'll be fine.
Oh, be my fucking guest, Vin, have a seat.
We've known each other a long time, haven't we, Vinnie? Since school.
So I'm quietly confident that this behaviour
is wildly out of character. Vincent O'Neill
doesn't just give himself up and then happily walk back to prison,
does he? Dude, I just don't think I'll get that long inside.
In all truth, Carl, I won't, and I have fucking been there before
and it is just not that bad so it makes no difference,
lock me up and the rest, why not? What's going on, Vin?
Carl, mate, you're on a fucking revenge mission. I get it.
You don't like me. You know I was a fucking horrible cunt to you
in school, I called you a dog bummer and it stuck.
It can't have helped.
I always had a posse of mates and you struggled a bit,
you were always on your own. But you couldn't possibly hurt me more
than me.
Carl, listen to me. With no agenda, I am a fucking nobody.
Pathetic, mentally ill dickhead criminal
for the arse end of nowhere.
If you want people talking your name
you best land yourself a much bigger fish. Oh, I intend to.
Right. Well...
it just so happens I could help you out with that.
But I'm gonna want some guarantees.
I don't do deals, Vin. Sound enough, forget the whole thing. No worries.
You stay here.
Come on. I managed to get hold of 5K.
I've borrowed two grand from the Crow's Nest.
And I've put in the money I was gonna use to restart my sex dungeon.
Thanks, Tommo. Pleasure. Just... stay out of my dreams.
Well, we're still way too short. Even with the club money
that's only 19k. Shit.
I'll lend you the rest.
I've got it. I'll get it back. It's fine.
Dad, before you say anything, Erin wants a chance to apologise.
How do you know her? Through business.
She's a good person, and she has your money.
Mister McCann, I am really, really, sorry.
I just want to put things right.
Dad, can we come in?
TWINS: You're cheating. You can't catch me.
I will catch you. I've got you already.
Sorry, can I just go to the loo? No.
Course you can use the fucking loo.
You're cheating. No, I am not. Yes, you are.
You are a cheater.
Hi, girls. BOTH: Hi, Stevie.
Hey, why don't we go inside cos it is starting to rain?
Ouch. Can we go inside, please? Fight with us.
Pussy. Later, I will fight with you later. Come on. No!
Yes. No, idiot. You're an idiot. You're an idiot.
And you're not coming in our room. I don't wanna get in your stupid room anyway.
Cos it smells. Your room smells. I don't care cos I am gonna go in
and I'm gonna mess up all your stuff. I am.
No, you're not. Yeah, I am.
I am coming. I am coming.
You upset me, Erin.
I don't like rejection.
You had that prick O'Neill inside you.
Had his baby, and you have the fucking temerity to reject me.
I appreciate the money back, but you're done.
Terence... You're done.
When you least fucking expect it,
you and that arsehole O'Neill will get what's coming to you.
Mister McCann... Shh.
(TWINS ARGUING)
(GROANS, SIGHS)
(URINE TRICKLING)
(SIGHS)
Dad! Fuck's sake... (TOILET FLUSHES)
(TWINS ARGUING)
Stop...
(WHISPERS) That way, that way, go!
Fuck's sake. You always take their side.
All good? Yeah.
Mission accomplished. (ENGINE STARTS)
Nice one, Stevie. Thank God for that.
I'm scared. Hey, don't be. Listen to me.
If that works out, we'll be free of him, hun.
Will we though?
Erm...I'm sorry about Samantha.
It's alright. You know, all the things I did with her,
I'd show her the woods, and where I used to play
when I was little, and the whole bloody time,
all I could think was I wished it was you.
Vin... I know. I know. I know. It's fine.
I always think about what you whispered.
I don't know.
I don't know anything anymore. (SIGHS)
I just want to do what's best for Tyler.
I have to do what's best for our boy.
Come here.
(DOOR SMASHES) (GIRLS SCREAMING)
POLICE: Show me your hands now! Turn around!
Well, well, well.
What on Earth's this doing here?
(VEHICLE APPROACHING)
Fuck.
Oi! Oi! Oi! Fuck off, dude. Get gone.
Sorry, lads, time's up. This erection has to come down.
(ALL YELLING) Oi! Stop it!
No, don't!
That's enough, you Irish cunts. What's all this?
What does it look like? Looks like two old twats
running through a wood holding paper. Fuck are you asking for then?
Cease and desist, signed by the deputy head of planning
at the council, Nigel Perrywater. You what?
And I have written authorisation that this erection
can stay exactly where it is.
Alright. Early breakfast, boys.
(CHEERING)
Celebration? Let's go the pub.
Jim's buying. Erin, Erin, come down to the pub
and make sure you bring bloody Sugar with you. Shirley saved the shack.
Shirley and Jim. Christ, my God,
it's a really good day, so...
come and have a drink.
(SIGHS)
Alright, Sug? Alright, Vin. Is Erin in?
I've no idea. Is she not in. No?
I've only just got up. Erin?
Er‐ Erin?
Ty...Tyler... What's going on?
Fuck! Oh, my God.
She's gone. What? She's fucking gone. She's gone.
(SOBBING)
ERIN: 'My darling Vinnie, you are the dad to our beautiful son
and an amazing friend.
But I am scared,
so I have to go.
I need a fresh start somewhere that I know he is safe.
I'm so sorry.
I will miss you forever.
And I hope you can forgive me.'
(WHISPERS) 34% was always enough.
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