1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,440 The following programme contains strong language 2 00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:05,040 and adult humour from the start. 3 00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:16,800 Hey, Christoph, you... 4 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:20,800 Hey, Vin. You all right? 5 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:22,840 Yeah. Fine, I'm fine. 6 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:24,880 You look like shit, man. 7 00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:27,560 You see patients like that? Yeah, you're right. 8 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:29,600 I'm not sleeping. Oh. 9 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:31,840 Got a bifta on you? You can't have a bifta at work. 10 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:35,280 Fuckin' diagnosing people. I can do that with my eyes closed. 11 00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:37,360 Go on, give us a... Have you got a vape? 12 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:39,600 One toot. It's strong. Take it easy. 13 00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:44,320 Just a bit. That's enough. That's a good amount. 14 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:47,560 Fuck, dude. You're going to end up throwing a whitey, man. 15 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:50,920 That's enough. Your fucking eyes are bulging out your head. 16 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:53,080 What's going on with you? 17 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,000 My ex. She's getting married again next weekend. 18 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:58,760 So, go on. What's the problem, then? 19 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:01,960 Just making me reflect, Vin. You know. 20 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:04,640 I've been looking at myself squarely in the face 21 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:06,680 and saying - What a wanker. 22 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:10,120 Yeah. I mean, who are you? I'm 50 years old. 23 00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:12,160 I'm just frittering my life away, 24 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:15,200 bedding this endless parade of fit young women. 25 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:19,080 It's just a blur of knees and blowjobs. 26 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,400 It's all because of this. It's so easy now with that. 27 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:24,800 My life has become one great big wet orgasm. 28 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:26,840 God, how awful! Thanks. 29 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:28,880 Thanks for your sympathy. 30 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:30,920 I listen to you week in, week out. 31 00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:33,080 When I've got a problem, you're never - 32 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:35,120 I'm sorry. And I really mean that. 33 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:37,160 I know you love... Er... Maria. 34 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:39,200 Melinda. Melinda. 35 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:44,560 If I had a flower for every time I think of you, 36 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:46,880 I'd walk in my garden forever. 37 00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:50,760 Tennyson. Poetry. 38 00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:52,800 It's intense. 39 00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:54,840 It was her favourite. Mm. 40 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:56,880 The human heart, eh? 41 00:01:56,920 --> 00:02:00,160 It's a capricious and mercurial beast. 42 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:03,200 Oh? 43 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:05,240 Oh, she's nice. No. 44 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:07,280 Look at that. It's blonde. 45 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:09,720 It's blonde. Look at the mammaries on that! 46 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:12,080 All right! You fucking sociopath, Chris. 47 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:14,840 I'm doing all right. - Bipolar's good. - Keen hiker. 48 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:19,640 You're so unprofessional, dude. You get on my fucking...tits. 49 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:22,320 You all right, Mr Bishop? Yeah, good, good. You? 50 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:24,480 Done summat to your hand? No. Nothing. 51 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:27,160 You're being a bit sheepish. What have you done? 52 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:29,200 Nothing. Oh, come 'ed. 53 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:31,240 Go on. 54 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:33,320 All right, but you can't laugh, yeah? 55 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:35,360 Yeah. Promise? 56 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:37,400 Yeah, I do. 57 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:41,440 Ooh! 58 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:43,480 Yeah, all right. 59 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:45,520 Fuck, what have you done?! 60 00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:47,560 An accident with the fish. 61 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:49,600 What do you mean, with the fish? 62 00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:52,360 Are you trying to say I've been fingering my fish? 63 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,400 What else... What else could it be? 64 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:56,680 You couldn't even... Their arses are... 65 00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:58,720 It's you that suggested fingering - 66 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:01,720 You're the one doing the gesturing! What's that? 67 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:05,000 Fuck's sake, dude! That woman's really... She's heard that. 68 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:06,320 Fine. 69 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:08,680 Goodbye. Goodbye to you. 70 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:15,240 Sorry. 71 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:21,120 Bollocks! What does he fucking want? Hello? 72 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:23,160 Are you still a petty criminal? 73 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:25,600 Cheeky bastard! I'm a professional thief. 74 00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:27,640 I want to hire you. 75 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:29,680 Hm? 76 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:33,280 Go on, then. What can we help you with? 77 00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:35,320 Business, Vinnie. 78 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:37,680 I hear you're a man that can get things done. 79 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:41,640 As you're already aware, my ex-wife is an unpleasant woman. 80 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:45,400 She's manipulative and conniving and...sexually loose. 81 00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:47,040 I can testify to that. 82 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:49,920 We are still engaged in a bitter and acrimonious divorce battle. 83 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,520 Still? Still. It's at an impass-ey. 84 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:54,560 Impass. 85 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:57,600 That bitch has got my house, my kids, and half my money. 86 00:03:57,640 --> 00:03:59,640 And I tolerated it. Ha ha! 87 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:02,200 I was being the height of fucking reasonable. 88 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:04,760 But now she's gone too far. Now she's involved 89 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:07,800 three beautiful and innocent ladies that have got nothing to do with it. 90 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:09,840 Which ladies? 91 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:13,400 My classic cars. Ooh! 92 00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:15,880 I registered them all in her name. Tax dodge. 93 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:19,160 Now she's only gone and fucking sold them for a pound apiece 94 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,200 to her new boyfriend. 95 00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:23,240 It's not about the money, Vin. It... 96 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:28,600 I... I just want them cars! 97 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:30,760 What are you doing, pretending to cry? 98 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:33,640 Trying to cry there? Your missus tried to do that... 99 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:36,360 Remember his missus trying to cry? 100 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:39,520 All right, look, I just love the cars and I want them back. 101 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:42,560 All right. Where are they and who's the new boyfriend? 102 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:46,040 I've no idea. But whoever he is, he must be blind and deaf and... 103 00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:49,200 ..like getting slobbery blowjobs from a halitosis gob. 104 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:51,360 I actually found her surprisingly fragrant. 105 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:54,200 This whole thing could just be a ruse to piss me off. 106 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:57,040 But it's possible she has sold them. 107 00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:59,120 All right, we'll get them back for you. 108 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:01,600 But that's not enough. No, this now. 109 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:04,640 And the same again when the cars are back in my possession. Deal? 110 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:06,720 It's not enough. You don't know how much is there. 111 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:08,360 How much is there? Loads. 112 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,400 Nailed it, Dylan. 113 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:14,280 All right, misery bollocks, who do you want to be? 114 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:16,440 Good cop or bad cop? I'm done with cops. 115 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:19,080 No-one does it properly. Let's find out who this boyfriend is. 116 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:21,120 You're miserable today. 117 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:23,160 Miserable. 118 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,160 Hello, boys. You all right, love? 119 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:31,200 Yeah. Go and get your mam, will you? 120 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:33,240 Mum! 121 00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:39,160 Oh, wow. If it isn't the useless fish killers. 122 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,440 What do you two want? Hello, Daphne. 123 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:44,440 Don't Daphne me. Has he sent you? 124 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:46,960 What does he want this time? Money related, no doubt. 125 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,720 Yeah, a bit. Your husband, he's getting a bit frustrated. 126 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:52,200 This divorce, it's taking a bit of doing, isn't it? 127 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:54,160 He's sent us down. In the spirit of goodwill. 128 00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:56,920 He just wants it over so you can move on with your lives. 129 00:05:56,960 --> 00:06:00,280 He's got that lass from the shop. That skinny Botox bitch? 130 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:02,840 Yeah, her. And you've got whoever you've got. 131 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:06,120 I hope he's dead nice, an' all. Found herself someone nice? 132 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:08,160 Right, so that's it, is it? 133 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:11,080 He wants to know who the boyfriend is. 134 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:14,440 Well, you can tell him from me 135 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:19,640 that I am sucking the D-I-C-K 136 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,560 of every eligible bachelor in Hawley. 137 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:24,600 Now piss off! 138 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,600 Magenta. 139 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:30,240 Right. Plan B, stakeout. 140 00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:33,960 Gis a light, will you? 141 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,640 I grew that place, right? 142 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:39,120 From a fucking spit and sawdust strip club 143 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:41,720 to a high-class erotic establishment. 144 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:43,760 And now she, Erin, 145 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:45,800 thinks she can swan in 146 00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:49,480 and make it all feminist burlesque and suffragette theme nights. 147 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:52,760 You've got to move with the times. That's what she's doing. 148 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:54,800 No, no. I move with the times. 149 00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:56,880 I'm a rolling stone. I gather no moss. 150 00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:59,800 Right. Don't forget, 151 00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:01,840 I am as woke as the next man. 152 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:07,400 Unless, of course, the next man happens to be my Uncle Cyril. 153 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:10,080 Who... Bless his heart, still enjoys 154 00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:12,160 rubbing up against people on busy buses. 155 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:15,240 Oi oi! 156 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,280 She's on the move. Yeah. 157 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:20,200 And it looks like... she is going golfing. 158 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:23,080 Do make sure you get the enormous bi-noc-ulars out. 159 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:25,120 She's fucking right there! 160 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:28,560 And there's no way she's going bloody golfing in that outfit. 161 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:30,600 Look at time of day it is! 162 00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:32,960 Maybe she enjoys a round of twilight golf. 163 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,200 Twilight golf, that's not a thing, man. 164 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:37,360 Of course it's a thing. Everything's a thing. 165 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:40,720 You think of a thing. The weirdest thing you can think of. 166 00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:44,760 Pony Scrabble. What? 167 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:46,600 Pony Scrabble. 168 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,480 That's not a fucking thing. They haven't got hands. 169 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:56,000 Genital chess. Gen... Yes! That is a thing. 170 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,760 Does everything have to come down to sex with you? 171 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:02,840 No, no, sunshine. There's plenty of things that aren't sex-related. 172 00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:06,480 Go on, think of one, then. Well, I will. 173 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,520 There's... 174 00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:11,480 What is there? What is there? 175 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:13,520 Yeah. That isn't... 176 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:15,560 Nice one. Well done, dickhead. 177 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:17,600 Oh, shit! 178 00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:19,640 Here. 179 00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:21,680 There. 180 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,080 ♪ She likes the green # Green 181 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:30,520 ♪ Grass # Grass 182 00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:32,560 ♪ Under her shoes 183 00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:36,280 ♪ What can I lose cos I got no dough 184 00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:39,360 ♪ Oh, no? 185 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:43,560 ♪ I'm all alone when I lower my lamp 186 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:47,000 ♪ That's why the lady is a tramp ♪ 187 00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:57,720 Hardwick. 188 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:00,440 ♪ That's why the lady is a tramp ♪ 189 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:12,720 Hardwick. 190 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:15,960 They're mine. My pond, my balls. 191 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:19,040 I... I found them. In my pond. 192 00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:21,080 You fat fucking peasant! 193 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:24,960 Lousy piece of shit. 194 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,520 You know him? You could say we've got history. 195 00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:29,680 He was horrible to my Cardi. Come here. 196 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:31,720 I'm fine. Come here. Come to Mum. 197 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:34,280 Isn't he married? Yeah, to a fucking heiress. 198 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:37,160 She's not an heiress. Her dad runs Brisby Sausages. 199 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,200 I think that makes her an heiress. 200 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:42,040 Now he's sticking his pork banger somewhere else. 201 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:44,120 That's exactly why we're going to screw him. 202 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:46,600 How are we going to know where he stores the cars? 203 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:48,760 Dylan's right. They'll have garages. 204 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:52,000 And they won't show it to you unless you're an enthusiast. 205 00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:54,640 I was listening to a podcast about the Amphibicar. 206 00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:57,600 Fucking hell! It's all fish, fish, fish with you, isn't it? 207 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:00,480 We need to get down to Russell's bloody golf course. 208 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:03,120 I need you two dressing up as enthusiasts. Get him chatting. 209 00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:06,360 Find out where them cars are. But Hardwick knows us, dude. 210 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:07,600 He knows me and you. 211 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:10,240 But he doesn't know Fat Ronaldo and Captain Hansen, does he? 212 00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:13,680 How are we going to pose as car enthusiasts without a classic car? 213 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:15,320 My mum's got a really old car. 214 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:18,320 What's the name of it? Triumph... A fucking Triumph? Triumph Herald? 215 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:21,360 Yeah, that's it. My grandad left it to her. 216 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:24,640 When she was emptying his house out, she found animal porn. 217 00:10:24,680 --> 00:10:26,720 Which animal? What does that matter? 218 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:29,280 Just curious. Which animal? It was hamsters. 219 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:31,320 That's disgusting. Can you get it? 220 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:33,360 What, the porn? The car! 221 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,520 That would be worth seeing. Don't see why not. 222 00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:37,960 It's just sitting there. You've saved the bloody day! 223 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:41,240 You angel! Take JJ. And if you can find the porn for our Ashley, 224 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:43,520 bring it, he's curious. Who's that girl? 225 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:46,200 Oh, yeah. She started last week. Staring at you. 226 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:48,240 No. Shh! 227 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:50,280 Ahem. 228 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:52,360 Carol, you should have seen her face. Boo! 229 00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:56,120 I said it's not Halloween yet. And she said 'Maybe it is Halloween.' 230 00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:58,160 Did you see that? Oh, piss off. 231 00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:00,200 Just go and talk to her. And say what? 232 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:02,240 Just say, like, hello. 233 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:04,280 Talk to her like you talk to one of us. 234 00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:06,320 Hey, how's it going? 235 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:08,880 You and I should just go for a coffee together. 236 00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:10,920 That does it. Sexy, that. 237 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:12,960 That was sexy. That whispery thing. 238 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:16,200 I'm Vinnie. Do you want to go... 239 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,560 ..for a coffee? Doesn't work. 240 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:20,920 Maybe just leave it. It is a shocker, like. 241 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:23,800 You can piss clean off, Carol! You stupid forehead! 242 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:25,840 I'm going to have a stand-up wee. 243 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,480 Right, well, there she is. 244 00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:34,520 She might not even start. 245 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,760 We'll have to give her a bump-start. 246 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:40,800 Ta-ra-ra bumpt-ee-eh! 247 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:44,880 Not looking good, is it? No. 248 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:46,920 Can you do it up? 249 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:49,600 Yeah. And a bloody wash might make a difference. 250 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:51,640 Just touch it up a bit. Ooh-er! 251 00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:53,680 Good with his hands, is he, Sugar? 252 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:55,760 I like a man who's good with his hands. 253 00:11:57,840 --> 00:11:59,840 Yeah. Yeah, he is. 254 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:03,080 You know, I'm so glad that you've found someone, darling. 255 00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:05,120 Because she's not a classic beauty. 256 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:07,160 Quirky, we used to call her. 257 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:09,200 Quirky little quack quack! 258 00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:11,240 Quack quack quack! 259 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:13,280 Quaaaack! 260 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:18,600 Right, who wants a drink? 261 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:20,640 Great! Quack quack! 262 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:26,240 What the hell are you doing? She thinks we're a couple, you know. 263 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:28,800 I just can't stand her going on about me being single. 264 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:31,840 It's no difference to you. We'll be out of here in half an hour. 265 00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:33,880 Fine. Fine. 266 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:39,000 I don't think you look like a duck, by the way. 267 00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:41,040 Thanks. Right! 268 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:43,880 T-T-Top up! 269 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,640 Oh... Pilau rice. 270 00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:49,680 Nice? 271 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:51,720 Mm. 272 00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:58,080 Oh, it's so lovely to see you, sweetheart. 273 00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:00,880 I'm so glad that you're so happy. 274 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:04,120 And JJ, you seem...lovely. 275 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:05,840 Mm. Thank you. 276 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:08,400 He is. He adores me. 277 00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:10,440 And I adore him. Hm! 278 00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:12,480 Oh, good. Good, good, good. 279 00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:14,320 Cos you're like me. 280 00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:16,200 I love a dark-skinned man. 281 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:20,000 You know, Omar Sharif and... 282 00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:22,040 ..Mohamadam Ali. 283 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:24,080 Get 'em up! 284 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:27,280 But now that you're both here, 285 00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:30,040 there is something that I want to talk to you about. 286 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,080 What is it? 287 00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:37,360 Oh, my God, are you dying? 288 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:40,280 Is Uncle Paulie my real dad? No! 289 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,920 Well, it's unlikely. 290 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:44,960 Then what? 291 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:47,880 Look, me and her dad, 292 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:51,480 we had a lot of... ..problems. 293 00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:54,520 Yeah? And one of them was... 294 00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:56,560 ..the menopause. 295 00:13:56,600 --> 00:14:00,240 What about it? It came very early to me. 296 00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:03,880 A lot earlier than I've ever told you about. 297 00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:05,960 How early? I was 33. 298 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,000 And your gran had it as well. 299 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:11,040 You mean... Yeah. So it's... 300 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:13,080 It's... It's thingy! 301 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:15,120 Um... Hereditary. 302 00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:17,160 That's it. Hededitry. I mean... 303 00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:19,200 I do not want to scare you, 304 00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:21,240 but you seem so much in love. 305 00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:23,880 And if you're set on having kiddies, I would... 306 00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:25,920 I'd just get a move on. 307 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:31,200 Ooh! That's the nan bread. 308 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:47,040 Are you OK? 309 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:52,680 I want to be someone's mummy. 310 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:57,320 I want to dress her up in dungarees and pigtails. 311 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:03,880 What if I've left it too late? 312 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:23,360 Gentlemen, meet... 313 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,400 ..Teresa. 314 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:29,440 Dude! Amazing, man! 315 00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:31,480 Fucking brilliant, dude. 316 00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:33,520 Why did you call her Teresa? 317 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:35,560 Like Mother Teresa. 318 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:38,800 I know, but she's a fucking nun with dry ankles, isn't she? 319 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:40,840 Can you not think of a sexy car name? 320 00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:43,280 All right, but what is a super sexy car name? 321 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:44,920 Scarlett. Nicole. 322 00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:46,960 Carol. Ooh. 323 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:50,600 - What? - Doesn't look like the kind of car that'd be in a porno, love. 324 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:02,600 Right, follow my lead. 325 00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:09,240 You there! You there! Young man! 326 00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:12,840 Young man! We're from out of town, looking for a game. 327 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:14,880 Is the owner around, by any chance? 328 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:16,920 Mr Hardwick? He'll be in his office. 329 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:18,960 I can radio him. 330 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,800 Oh, goodness me, that would be terrific. Nice one. 331 00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:24,760 What? What are you doing? What is that stupid accent? 332 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:26,800 My posh voice. Groundsman to Mr Hardwick? 333 00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:28,840 Adds a touch of class, no? 334 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:31,200 Just... It doesn't match your face, so... 335 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,360 What do you mean, it doesn't match my face? 336 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,520 Will you just speak normally, please? 337 00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:37,560 I'm in character, you clown. 338 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:40,320 This is method acting, for Rory. My golf persona. 339 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:42,360 Rory? That's right. 340 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:44,400 Worked out a whole back story for him. 341 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:47,880 Believe me, he had a tough childhood. 342 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:50,120 Oh, for fuck's sake. In spite of that, he's prevailed. 343 00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,880 He's going to meet you at the terrace. Over there. 344 00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:56,720 Oh... Ever so nice. Nice. Thank you very much. 345 00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:59,480 Don't draw attention to yourself. I know this... 346 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:01,520 Are you the out of towners? 347 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:03,880 Yes, aye. Dylan. Dylan Golding is my name. 348 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:05,920 And this is my associate. 349 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:07,960 Rory Finnegan. MBE. 350 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,200 Russell Hardwick, managing director. 351 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:12,480 So, which club are you from? Brookworth. 352 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:14,520 Brookworth? I know it well. 353 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:17,560 - Yeah? - Yeah, I know the MD down there. Michael Fincher. 354 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:20,040 Oh, Michael. Mickey boy. The Finchmeister. 355 00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:22,520 He's a great lad. Yeah, he's great, isn't he? 356 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:24,560 And such a nice guy. 357 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:27,520 Shame though about...what happened. 358 00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:29,560 Frightful. I know. 359 00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:32,840 - Frightful. - You wouldn't want to be managing with only one. 360 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:36,440 Definitely better with more than one. For sure. 361 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:38,680 So you're after a game, yeah? Cheeky 18? 362 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:40,720 That would be great. 363 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:44,160 We've been driving, you see. Lots of driving, don't you know. 364 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:48,600 And we rather thought it would be great to stretch our legs 365 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:52,520 and swing a few clubs around the golf...course. 366 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:55,560 No problem. Strictly speaking, we're a members club. 367 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:58,640 But I shall just give Mickey a call. He can vouch for you. 368 00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:00,680 And away you go. 369 00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:03,040 The old cars. I don't know about you, mate, 370 00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:05,080 I find it really stiffens me up. 371 00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:07,320 I say old, I mean classic. Won't be a sec. 372 00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:10,000 They go like a dream, but they're not built for comfort, 373 00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:12,040 the old classic cars! 374 00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:14,080 Michael! Russell Hardwick. 375 00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:16,120 Prepare to leg it. 376 00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:18,160 Yeah, how's life? 377 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:21,800 Fantastic. I've got a couple of your boys here looking for a game. 378 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:23,440 Dylan Golding and Rory... 379 00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:25,280 Finnegan. Finnegan. 380 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:27,320 MBE. 381 00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:31,440 Uh-huh. OK. 382 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:33,480 OK, catch you later. 383 00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:39,280 Course is all yours, gentlemen. 384 00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:41,320 Mickey vouched for you. 385 00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:44,000 Oh, Mickey. Good old... Michael. 386 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,280 We need to get him a drink. Thanks. Enjoy. 387 00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:49,440 We'll just fetch our clubs from the Triumph Herald 1963. 388 00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:06,080 It's like Ford Knox, Vinnie. 389 00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:09,120 There is no way we are nicking them cars from Hardwick. 390 00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:11,760 He keeps them in a special compound. What kind of compound? 391 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:13,800 Can we not break in? 392 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:16,480 No, the whole thing is guarded. It's patrolled. 393 00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:19,440 We asked to see them. He got really paranoid about it. 394 00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:24,680 I keep mine under lock and key. CCTV. Guard dogs. 395 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:27,440 And a moat with piranha fish. 396 00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:30,000 So dressing up as Rory was pointless. 397 00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:35,760 So what you're saying is we're fucked, aren't we? 398 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,800 Yes. Yeah? All right, fine. 399 00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:40,040 We'll blackmail him, then. Blackmail? 400 00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:42,200 This is Hardwick we're talking about. 401 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,240 He's an enormous cockhole. 402 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:46,280 Remember what he did to our Cardi? 403 00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:48,640 Eh? He thinks he's better than everybody. 404 00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:51,080 And we've got photographic evidence of him playing away. 405 00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:53,120 Thomas, give me the phone. 406 00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:58,200 Who would over-arm it like that, you fucking nutcase? 407 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:01,440 Oh, dude, he's a vindictive bastard. 408 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:03,480 He could turn nasty. 409 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:05,840 His wife's minted. We could name our price 410 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:08,280 and earn more than what Bishop's offering. 411 00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:10,320 Exactly. JJ, have a look at that. 412 00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:14,360 Still got his golfing glove on. 413 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,000 Seriously, listen. All we need to do is work out 414 00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:19,080 how to get photographs off the phone, 415 00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:21,200 show his wife what a twat he is. 416 00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:23,240 Yeah. You need a specific cable. 417 00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:26,440 Christ! Thwarted at the first hurdle. 418 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,520 Ah. 419 00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:32,560 Here he is. Knobhead. 420 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:37,000 Right, you. All you have to do is show him these images... 421 00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:39,040 Jesus... 422 00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:41,240 Show him these and ask for the money. 423 00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:43,280 I don't want to do this. He scares me. 424 00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:46,440 You need to go and show him who he's dealing with, privileged knobhead. 425 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:49,120 Leave the pigeon as well. I need him. I need the courage. 426 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,680 You can't take Nigel over there. I'm not doing it, then! 427 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:53,920 Me and Nigel or nothing! Stop snapping, dude! 428 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:55,960 Knobhead! 429 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,000 Cardi, tuck him in. Yes! 430 00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:00,680 Tuck yourself in. That doesn't even make sense. 431 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:02,720 It's just Russell Hardwick. 432 00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:04,880 Just that knobhead Russell Hardwick. 433 00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:06,920 Russell. You? 434 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:08,960 The aquatic golf ball boy. 435 00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:13,040 Yeah, that's right. 436 00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,080 It's me. Well, it's not just me. 437 00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:17,320 There's other people involved as well. 438 00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:19,760 They're sitting in that van. What the fuck? 439 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:23,000 And this is Nigel. Brains of the operation. 440 00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:25,040 Er... Here's t'photos. 441 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:31,960 Nice one of you, that. Good angle. 442 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,000 Get in. 443 00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:37,680 Get in the car if he's asking you to get in the car. 444 00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:39,720 Get in! 445 00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:46,600 You can keep those. Those are copies. 446 00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:48,640 Thank you. 447 00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:50,680 So um... 448 00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:52,720 Have you got the cash? 449 00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:01,360 Shall I tell you what happened? 450 00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,400 Er... Yeah. 451 00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:06,520 My wife, my beautiful, beautiful wife, 452 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:08,560 Sophia... 453 00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:11,800 ..has got an incurable illness. 454 00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:16,040 She's only 52 and she won't see 53. 455 00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:18,080 ♪ The Way We Were 456 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:22,320 I love her. 457 00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:25,680 I do. I love her with all my heart. 458 00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:30,200 But for a long time now, because of the treatment, 459 00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:32,240 and the drugs she's been taking, 460 00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:34,280 there's been no... 461 00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:36,480 ..physical side to our relationship. 462 00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:39,280 Have you any idea what that does to a man, eh? 463 00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:41,320 Er... Yeah. 464 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:43,880 And I know I should feel ashamed of myself, 465 00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:46,560 but... I just need... 466 00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:50,160 ..that touch, 467 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:52,200 that... 468 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:54,240 ..feel of a woman. 469 00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:56,280 And I succumbed. 470 00:22:57,680 --> 00:23:00,720 But if you send those photos to my Sophia... 471 00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:02,760 ..it will kill her. 472 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:04,800 It will. It will finish her off. 473 00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:08,080 Imagine if it was your loved one. Imagine how you'd feel. 474 00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:12,160 Eh? 475 00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:14,200 Sorry. Sorry. 476 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:16,240 No, it's... 477 00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:19,280 It's all right. We... We... 478 00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:21,840 We won't tell her. We won't show the photos. 479 00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:23,880 Really? Yes! 480 00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:27,080 Swear to me. 481 00:23:27,120 --> 00:23:29,120 On your pigeon's life. 482 00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:35,040 I swear on my pigeon's life, all right? 483 00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:37,840 Thank you. You...good, good man. 484 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:39,880 Thank you. 485 00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:46,000 ♪ Like a catfish in the river, like a flounder in the sea... ♪ 486 00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:49,160 Why isn't he carrying anything? Shouldn't he have a bag? 487 00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:51,200 Cardi... Cardi, where's the money? 488 00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:53,240 Dickhead, why is he driving off? 489 00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:55,880 I couldn't, Vin, man. I just fucking couldn't. 490 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:57,920 What the fuck's going on? 491 00:23:57,960 --> 00:23:59,960 I couldn't. Couldn't what? 492 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:02,000 What are you doing? 493 00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:07,320 He misses the touch. 494 00:24:07,360 --> 00:24:09,360 What does that even mean? 495 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:13,480 Make some noise for the amazing Baga Chipz! 496 00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:17,800 Who's ready for my battered sausage? 497 00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:21,040 Oh, God, look at the state of him! 498 00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:23,280 Look at his weird forehead. Weird eyes. 499 00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:25,320 He does have weird eyes. 500 00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:28,840 Is that a couple... Wanting a threesome? 501 00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:31,040 Oh, stop it! Oh, my God! 502 00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:33,080 You can't rush into this, you know. 503 00:24:33,120 --> 00:24:36,160 Trust me, as someone who got pregnant at the wrong time, 504 00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:38,520 you need to make sure that you're certain. 505 00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:41,640 I wish I had someone I could even consider a future with. 506 00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:44,760 Men just see me as my job. 507 00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:46,800 Er... Excuse me! 508 00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:49,680 You are beautiful, for starters. And you're funny. 509 00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:52,920 There's someone out there that would kill to be with a woman like you. 510 00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:54,960 Not him. 511 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:57,040 He looks like he smells of fish. 512 00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:00,160 Mr McCann. 513 00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:03,720 We'll catch up later. 514 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:07,880 Does she know... about our arrangement? 515 00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:10,440 Oh, no, no. I'll tell her you were looking for Vinnie. 516 00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:12,800 Here. Incorporate this into the takings. 517 00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:16,200 And congratulations, you've had a very good month. 518 00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:18,240 Thank you. 519 00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,280 I'll be seeing you. 520 00:25:33,360 --> 00:25:35,360 That's it. We've failed. 521 00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:38,120 We've had the opportunity to screw him twice now, 522 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,200 and we've failed. Still, hear me out. 523 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,680 We could still send the photos to his missus. 524 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:46,640 Unless, right, in his car, he had this brochure for a car show. 525 00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:49,920 The Vintage North. What if he's taking his classics to that? 526 00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:52,800 I'm googling that. The Vintage North it was called. 527 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:54,840 Last day for entry is today. 528 00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:57,600 So we're going to need to enter Teresa, like, now. 529 00:25:57,640 --> 00:25:59,640 We'd better get a shift on with that. 530 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:02,000 I don't want to miss that, Christ on a bike. 531 00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:06,080 Nice tats. Sorry? 532 00:26:06,120 --> 00:26:08,120 I like these. 533 00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:10,240 You like my tattoos? I like your t... 534 00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:14,280 I nearly said tits. I panicked a little bit. 535 00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:16,520 What I meant... I like your chain and... 536 00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:18,560 I'm Sugar. I'm Vincent. 537 00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:20,600 Er... Vinnie. Vin... Vin. 538 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:24,920 Well, good to meet you, Vin, Vincent, Vinnie, Vin. 539 00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:26,960 Oh, shit. 540 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,920 I drink coffee sometimes. You'll find me doing it... 541 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:31,960 Um... I do it alone most times. 542 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,000 And I'm wondering... 543 00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:36,040 You... Would... Do... 544 00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:39,000 Would you like to come...with me... 545 00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:42,040 It'll just be me and you on the day. 546 00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:44,080 Yeah, that sounds great. 547 00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:46,440 Yeah, I'd love a brew. With you. On the day. 548 00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:48,480 Yeah? 549 00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:51,560 Oh, look at us two! Just a couple...of coffee drinkers. 550 00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:54,000 I drink coffee! Shit, dude. 551 00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:55,240 That went bad. 552 00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,000 What's his name, Harold Shipman? 553 00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:01,880 Not Harold Shipman! 554 00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:04,080 That doesn't get annoying, does it? 555 00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:08,240 Harold... Harold Pipsky? Hello, gentlemen. 556 00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:10,680 I trust you've come to fill in the paperwork 557 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,720 to enter the competition. Yes. 558 00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:15,280 And that's the lady, is it? Yeah, there she is. 559 00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:17,760 Very nice indeed. Right, I'll get the forms. 560 00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:22,240 Her indoors prefers me to keep car matters out of the house. 561 00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:24,440 Oh! Two ticks. 562 00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:26,480 All right. 563 00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:28,960 Looks like he needs a little rod, doesn't he? 564 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:31,920 A spade, and the pointy ears, and a four-leaf clover. 565 00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:34,680 That's a bloody leprechaun. It's the same thing. 566 00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:37,440 No, it's not. A leprechaun is just an Irish gnome. 567 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,480 He looks like a gnome. 568 00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:43,800 Are them the forms? 569 00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:48,840 Beautiful. 570 00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:50,880 Can I use your back? 571 00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:52,920 Scrumptious. 572 00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:54,960 Cardi, stay still. 573 00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,640 Ever wish you could take her out for dinner? 574 00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:01,280 Wine her, dine her. 575 00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:04,640 Maybe get a little flirty after a couple of glasses too many. 576 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:06,920 Maybe invite her back for a bit of coffee. 577 00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:08,960 A tender kiss when the time is right. 578 00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:11,000 Exactly. 579 00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:13,040 Then fuck her brains out. What? 580 00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:15,080 What? No... 581 00:28:15,120 --> 00:28:17,120 It's all right. I just got... 582 00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:19,160 ..carried away with the... 583 00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:21,200 ..metaphors. Is it metaphor? 584 00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:22,640 Yeah. 585 00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:25,120 And where are you going to put it anyway? Up the exhaust - 586 00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:27,160 Hey! Shall we just leave it there? 587 00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:29,200 Absolutely. I'm sorry to ask this, 588 00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:31,320 but I'm a bit concerned about the old... 589 00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:35,200 ..security. We can trust everyone, can't we? 590 00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:38,280 Nothing to worry about on that account. 591 00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:40,960 We're a community. We all trust each other implicitly. 592 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:43,000 Fantastic. 593 00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:46,080 Thanks ever so much. Thank you, mate. All right. 594 00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:49,560 Dude, that is a gnome. That is a gnome. 595 00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:52,880 Thanks for coming, Carol. Moral support. 596 00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:54,480 Hey. Alex. 597 00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:56,520 Nick. 598 00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:58,560 I work in the travel industry. 599 00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:02,560 Wednesday, we have a black bin for general waste. 600 00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:04,600 Green for garden clippings. 601 00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:07,280 Sellotape, to me, is like heroin. 602 00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:09,320 I love the look of it, the smell of it. 603 00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:11,480 There's nothing you can't fix with it. 604 00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:14,720 What about a plate? Or an arm? 605 00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:20,000 She could have a face like a eel but if she's got the right shoes on, 606 00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:24,040 I will ride her like a bronco. Mm! 607 00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:27,120 I do like it out the back. 608 00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:30,080 Out the... In the front, out the back. 609 00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:34,000 I'm a stripper. Not out the back, like. 610 00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:37,760 I was a lesbos for a while but I'm back into solids now. 611 00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:40,320 I get my kit off and men pay me money. 612 00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:50,960 Sorry, love, that was flat. Can I have another one? 613 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:53,000 Whoa! Hey, are you all right? 614 00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:54,640 JJ... 615 00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:56,680 Hang on. Got a podcast. 616 00:29:56,720 --> 00:29:59,440 What's it on? Californian droughts of the 1930s. 617 00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:02,880 It is a madness. Back then, yeah, the wind used to be so strong, 618 00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:05,360 it would blow the dry soil right up into the sky 619 00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:07,400 and blacken it. 620 00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:09,440 Yeah. Oh, really? 621 00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:11,480 Mm. Fascinating. 622 00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:14,640 And this is before all the bloody global warming as well. 623 00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:17,400 Where are you going? Going home. You? 624 00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:19,440 Yeah, same. I've... 625 00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:21,480 I've had a bit of a bad day. 626 00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:24,360 Do you fancy coming and helping me drown my sorrows? 627 00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:26,400 Oh, I'm just going to... 628 00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:30,080 Yeah? 629 00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:34,520 There's something I want you to see from last year's show. 630 00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:36,320 Before the judging takes place, 631 00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:38,360 everybody gathers for a group photograph. 632 00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:39,800 Check out the background. 633 00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:41,840 They've left their cars. Exactly. 634 00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:44,800 And you wouldn't believe how long it takes to get that photo sorted. 635 00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:46,840 They'll have their keys with them though. 636 00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:49,520 Some do, some don't. It won't make a difference. 637 00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:51,960 Them old cars, no deadlocks, no immobilisers. 638 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,000 Do you not know this man, Hardwick? 639 00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:55,640 No, never met the man. 640 00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:58,400 I don't even know how she met him. Through the golf probably. 641 00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:00,440 Or dogging. Is this ornamental? 642 00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:02,480 No, no, I have got ornamental ones. 643 00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:05,720 But that will take your head - clean off. - Looks ornamental. 644 00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:08,400 - It isn't. - What's all this oriental stuff about? 645 00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:10,960 Why are you so into it? I'm a quarter Japanese. 646 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:13,000 I find that very hard to believe. 647 00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:15,040 When I was married, my wife hated it. 648 00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:18,720 But now I am free to embrace my cultural identities. 649 00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:20,960 Sorry, where might one find a washroom? 650 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:22,800 He wants a piss. 651 00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:24,840 Oh, er... Outside, first on the right. 652 00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:28,200 Much obliged, Lord Bishop. Stop doing Downton Abbey, love! 653 00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:31,560 You're doing my head in. He loves a period drama. 654 00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:34,800 Ooh! Sorry. 655 00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:48,760 Never met him, is it? 656 00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:54,000 Vin, Bishop's won competitions all over with his cars, 657 00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:56,040 but not in the last three years. 658 00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:59,600 He's also pictured with Hardwick and other lads, smiling away. 659 00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:01,640 Look at this. 660 00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:04,200 What the fuck? What do you reckon, bit of beef? 661 00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:06,240 Looks that way, yeah. 662 00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:08,280 Oi! Good luck! 663 00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:10,320 Nice one, fella. 664 00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:13,400 Slippery bastard. What are you up to? 665 00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:17,000 Oh, you've got Rod Stewart on here! 666 00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:19,760 That is awful. You should be ashamed of yourself. 667 00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:21,800 That was for a party, to be fair. 668 00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:25,160 What about The Beautiful South, was that for a party as well? 669 00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:27,200 What the fuck is Bro-se? 670 00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:28,320 Bros! 671 00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:29,840 Bros? 672 00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:31,680 No, Bros. Bros? 673 00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:34,560 Put Bros on, they are my fave. I promise you're going to love it. 674 00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:35,800 Oh, God. 675 00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:37,840 ♪ When will I, will I be famous? 676 00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:39,600 As bad as I thought. 677 00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:42,760 Oh, my God, come on! Let the music run through your veins. 678 00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:44,800 No way are you getting me dancing. 679 00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:47,440 Let the brothers Bros enter you. No, thank you. 680 00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:50,520 Come on! Just don't worry about what anyone thinks. 681 00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:52,560 Come on! 682 00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:54,600 OK! Come on! 683 00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:57,640 Shake your ass. Pretend nobody's watching. 684 00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:01,480 What would Bros have done if they worried about what people thought? 685 00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:03,520 This song wouldn't exist. 686 00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:05,560 ♪ I can't answer that! ♪ 687 00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:07,600 You're mad. 688 00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:12,800 ♪ When will I, will I be famous? 689 00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:15,880 ♪ I can't answer, I can't answer that ♪ 690 00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:38,480 That X there, that's where we are now. All right? 691 00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:43,440 The in-competition cars, they're going to be... 692 00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:45,480 ..there. Why? 693 00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:47,800 Why? They're going to line up alphabetically. 694 00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:49,840 Alphabetical to what though? 695 00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:52,000 The name of the owner or the make of car? 696 00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:55,040 It's the name of the owner. Hardwick's a piece of piss cos... 697 00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:58,400 It's halfway, in't it? You're not good with letters, buddy. 698 00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:00,240 I'm not good with letters. 699 00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:02,080 Zuh... Zed. 700 00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:06,040 Zed... That's our getaway. Through the gate, gravel path, we're gone. 701 00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:08,080 What's that Q? That Q... 702 00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:10,360 ..is the cake stall in case we get hungry. 703 00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:14,000 We're not going for cakes! We're robbing classic cars, bell end. 704 00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:16,040 We are trying to be a cool criminal. 705 00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:20,200 Check your walkie-talkies. Let's have a go on them. 706 00:34:20,240 --> 00:34:22,240 Testing, testing. 707 00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:24,600 Mine's not working. Have you turned it on? 708 00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:27,040 No, where's on? Big fucking orange button. 709 00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:29,080 Do we know what were doing? Yeah. 710 00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:31,480 All right, sound enough. Positions, then. 711 00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:36,280 Give it here. Do you know what you're doing, you? 712 00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:38,320 No. No. 713 00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:41,200 Get up there, you. Get up there and behave yourself. 714 00:34:41,240 --> 00:34:43,240 Cardi, nice one. Behave yourself. 715 00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:45,280 Will do. 716 00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:47,960 No cakes, dude, I'm serious. OK, OK. 717 00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:50,760 Hiya. 718 00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:52,800 Oh, hi. 719 00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:54,840 I've brought you a... 720 00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:56,880 Yeah, thanks. 721 00:34:56,920 --> 00:34:59,160 It's a latte. If that's OK. 722 00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:02,120 Didn't put sugar in. No, that's fine, thanks. 723 00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:09,640 So I... I've called you a couple of times and... 724 00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:11,680 ..Whatsapped. Yeah, I know. 725 00:35:11,720 --> 00:35:13,720 I know you have actually. And... 726 00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:15,760 I've been meaning to ring you. 727 00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:17,800 But...the thing is... 728 00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:19,840 ..my mum is ill. 729 00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:21,880 Yeah. 730 00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:25,160 And um... It's in her...pancreas. 731 00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:27,200 So I had to go and visit her. 732 00:35:27,240 --> 00:35:29,240 Right. 733 00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:31,520 Pancreas? Yeah, yeah. 734 00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:35,000 Interestingly, the man who discovered the pancreatic duct, 735 00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:37,840 he got murdered in a disagreement with another man 736 00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:39,800 who claimed he discovered it first. 737 00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:42,120 Is it because you think I just want a baby? 738 00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:47,920 No. 739 00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:52,280 Your mum's not sick, is she? 740 00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:53,920 You just haven't called 741 00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:56,360 because you want to pretend that it didn't happen. 742 00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:58,200 I'm sorry. Is it because of my job? 743 00:35:58,240 --> 00:36:00,240 No. Then what? 744 00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:05,600 You know what? Just fuck off, JJ. 745 00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:07,640 I thought you were different. 746 00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:09,680 You're just like all the rest. 747 00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:18,400 What is wrong with me? 748 00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:24,160 Positioning Teresa in the main viewing arena. Over. 749 00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:28,520 Are you at that fucking gate, you? 750 00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:31,360 I swear, if you are eating confectionery, dude... 751 00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:44,600 All competitors, please gather for the annual group photograph! 752 00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:49,720 Has anyone got eyes on Hardwick? Negative. 753 00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:52,160 His cars are here but there's no sign of him. Over. 754 00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:55,200 Ashley, get yourself to where that photo's happening 755 00:36:55,240 --> 00:36:57,240 and get eyes on Hardwick. 756 00:36:57,280 --> 00:36:59,720 Me and Tommo are going to head round the back. 757 00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:02,600 Wait for the signal. I can't see him anywhere, lads. 758 00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:04,640 Me neither. Over. 759 00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:06,680 He's not here. 760 00:37:06,720 --> 00:37:10,040 Let's hope John's taken the lens cap off! 761 00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:12,080 Oh! Oh, shit. 762 00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:14,120 Where is he? He's right behind you. 763 00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:16,160 Oh, shit. 764 00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:18,200 Mm. Mm. 765 00:37:18,240 --> 00:37:20,240 Original. 766 00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:22,600 Er... What the fuck are you two doing here? 767 00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:28,320 Daphne. Don't Daphne me. 768 00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:31,880 First you're at my door and now you turn up here. What's going on? 769 00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:34,640 Into cars. Sun's out. You're after his cars, aren't you? 770 00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:36,680 No. No, that's too much. 771 00:37:36,720 --> 00:37:38,720 Heeellp! 772 00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:43,960 Oh, fuck, dude! You're biting my fucking hand off! 773 00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:46,000 Stop! Fucking hell! 774 00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:50,080 Ow! 775 00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:52,560 You've been taking pictures of me, you perv! 776 00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:54,600 Don't go in there, love. 777 00:37:56,680 --> 00:38:00,000 Fuck! She got my dick! 778 00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:02,040 Stop pissing around, dickhead! 779 00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:04,080 Daphne! 780 00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:07,120 I see him there now. 781 00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:09,160 He's with the wife. 782 00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:12,800 She's looking fierce healthy for a dying woman. On the cocktails. 783 00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:14,840 How are you, man? 784 00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:18,080 The gentleman down there, if he could move in a little bit. 785 00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:20,760 The man in the purple shirt, move in a little bit. 786 00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:24,840 Don't be a dick. Come on. 787 00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:31,800 What are you going to do now? 788 00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:33,960 Hit a woman? That your style now, is it? 789 00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:36,000 You useless fucking fish killers. 790 00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:39,640 Look, Bishop just wants his cars back. 791 00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:42,600 I know you're going through a really shitty divorce. 792 00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:45,440 But them cars out there, they're his pride and joy. 793 00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:47,480 What the fuck are you talking about? 794 00:38:47,520 --> 00:38:51,880 The cars you've given away, he wants them back. 795 00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:53,920 He's paying us to do it. 796 00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:55,960 Those aren't his cars. 797 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,920 They're Russell's. You what? 798 00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:02,880 Fucker! He's using us, dude! 799 00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:05,960 He's fucking using us to steal Hardwick's cars for him! 800 00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,000 Fuck! 801 00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:11,880 Because he's jealous of him winning and he can't win shit! 802 00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:13,920 Useless little dick twat. 803 00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:16,080 Fuck's sake. How much is he paying you? 804 00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:18,120 Five grand. Hm! 805 00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:20,160 Five grand. 806 00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:22,200 I'll pay you six not to. 807 00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:25,240 Ten. 808 00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:26,280 Seven. 809 00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:28,320 Nine. Seven. 810 00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:31,880 Eight and a half. Take the seven, god's sakes. 811 00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:33,920 I'll take it. 812 00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:35,960 Knob. 813 00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:39,840 Why are you here anyway? His wife's round t'corner. 814 00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:42,080 Because we like dangerous lovemaking. 815 00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:44,120 Adds a little extra spice. 816 00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:46,160 Course you do. Oh... 817 00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:49,320 It's called living, Vinnie. You want to try it some time. 818 00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:51,360 Right, well, bye-bye, boys. 819 00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:53,400 See you, love. Daphne. 820 00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:56,600 No. 821 00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:58,640 Nice dealing with you boys. 822 00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,040 You trust her to pay you? I don't know. 823 00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:06,880 I tell you one thing though, 824 00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:09,360 she might get a kick shagging other people's husbands. 825 00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:11,560 I get mine stealing cars, smoking weed, 826 00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:14,600 and hanging out with knobheads. Change of plan! 827 00:40:14,640 --> 00:40:16,640 Shit! We're on! 828 00:40:24,240 --> 00:40:26,240 Vintage cars! 829 00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:33,160 Oi! 830 00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:36,120 How do you like them apples, Hardwick, you posh twat! 831 00:40:36,160 --> 00:40:38,160 Come... Oh, no! 832 00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:42,200 Bastards! 833 00:40:42,240 --> 00:40:45,880 Get in the car! We've got to stop them! 834 00:40:45,920 --> 00:40:47,800 Cardi, put down whatever you're scoffing! 835 00:40:47,840 --> 00:40:49,840 We're on our way, lad! Standing by. 836 00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:51,880 Come on! Faster! 837 00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:53,920 Cardi, get a bloody wriggle on! 838 00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:02,080 Close the gate, Cardi! Stall them! 839 00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:04,120 Get in the fucking car! 840 00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:06,160 All right, I'm going as fast as I can! 841 00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:08,200 Go for it! 842 00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:14,240 Get after them, boys! Go on, get after them! 843 00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:22,280 Take that, Hardwick. Fuck it. 844 00:41:31,240 --> 00:41:34,080 Ash, Cardi, you take the side road after the bridge! 845 00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:36,440 Hold on, Cardi. Make your way back to JJ's. 846 00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:38,480 Me and Dylan will take it from here. 847 00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:41,120 Once they get onto the main road, don't lose sight of them! 848 00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:43,400 I know somewhere I can lose them here. 849 00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:45,440 Fuck me! 850 00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:06,200 Yeah! We lost them, boys! Whoo-hoo! 851 00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:25,440 We did it! We've fucking done it, boys! 852 00:42:38,840 --> 00:42:40,840 Hello? Hi. 853 00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:42,880 How's things? 854 00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:45,480 Yeah, fine. What do you want? 855 00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:47,520 Yeah, look, I've just been... 856 00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:51,320 ..thinking about a few things. And er... 857 00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:54,880 I realise that I've just been a total idiot. 858 00:42:54,920 --> 00:42:56,920 I could have told you that. 859 00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:03,280 I haven't been with anyone in a really long time. 860 00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:06,360 I understand. 861 00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:08,800 But that doesn't mean that I don't like you. 862 00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:12,440 And it definitely doesn't mean that I don't want to see you again. 863 00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:15,320 I just... I need to take things slow. 864 00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:17,360 All right. 865 00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:22,040 So, well, if that works for you, 866 00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:24,040 and you're still interested... 867 00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:27,840 Well, I'd love to take you on a date, you know. 868 00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:31,120 Yeah. Yeah, maybe. 869 00:43:31,160 --> 00:43:33,160 I'll have to check my diary. 870 00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:35,200 When are you thinking? Um... 871 00:43:37,120 --> 00:43:39,840 How about right now? What? 872 00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:41,880 Look out your front window. 873 00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:49,720 Your carriage awaits. OK, but you'll have to wait for me. 874 00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:51,960 I can't go for a date with these armpits. 875 00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:54,000 Give me 15 minutes. 876 00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:56,040 Maybe 20. 877 00:43:56,080 --> 00:43:57,680 Yeah, yeah, that's fine. 878 00:43:57,720 --> 00:44:00,640 I've got my podcast anyway. The history of the pancreas. 879 00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:02,680 OK, OK. OK. 880 00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:25,640 Yaah! 881 00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:28,000 Mammy was adamant. We all had the same dad. 882 00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:30,040 I just want to find out. 883 00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:34,320 If them two aren't fucking, I am Uncle Tom Cobbler. 884 00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:35,840 He's definitely mixed race, dude. 885 00:44:35,880 --> 00:44:38,040 Are you saying my mother cheated on her loving husband 886 00:44:38,080 --> 00:44:40,080 with a black man? How dare you?! 887 00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:42,120 What the fuck are you doing? 888 00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:44,400 You know Mammy well. You know she as no saint. 889 00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:46,040 Ah, she liked the dick. 890 00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:48,160 There is something in them he doesn't want us to see. 891 00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:50,800 Don't move or we'll take your fucking heads! 892 00:44:54,080 --> 00:44:56,400 AccessibleCustomerService@sky.co.uk