1 00:00:32,511 --> 00:00:36,671 If that's another fucking Lithuanian living in my roof... 2 00:00:42,831 --> 00:00:44,831 Honestly! 3 00:00:44,871 --> 00:00:46,351 You lot love attics! 4 00:00:46,391 --> 00:00:49,511 Kip in the barn and piss in the field. 5 00:00:49,551 --> 00:00:52,111 It'll be a lot easier! 6 00:01:03,911 --> 00:01:06,351 Aaaaaaaargh! 7 00:01:06,391 --> 00:01:08,631 # THE BEATLES: Money 8 00:01:15,311 --> 00:01:19,391 Fucking hell! Who's died, then? 9 00:01:19,431 --> 00:01:23,191 Oh, the Millers. They were in a cult. 10 00:01:23,231 --> 00:01:25,671 You might have read about it. Dead messy! 11 00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:28,391 But at least now they're with their Alien Overlord, 12 00:01:28,431 --> 00:01:30,711 or whatever the fuck they thought would happen 13 00:01:30,751 --> 00:01:33,831 when they blasted each other's brains out. RIP. 14 00:01:34,751 --> 00:01:38,431 You're er... quite weird, you, aren't you? 15 00:01:38,471 --> 00:01:42,111 Oh, thanks 'Ey, if you ever wanna come over 16 00:01:42,151 --> 00:01:45,471 and try your hand at embalming, just er... give us a bell. 17 00:01:49,111 --> 00:01:51,511 Might do. 18 00:01:51,551 --> 00:01:54,511 Fucking hell! I'm not ten. Jesus Christ! 19 00:01:54,551 --> 00:01:57,111 Do you know what I mean... Did you do some sexy flirting up there? 20 00:01:57,151 --> 00:02:00,271 No. Fuck off.I thought we were here to sort my loft out! 21 00:02:00,311 --> 00:02:03,191 We are! Are you sure it's Cardi's fucking fault? 22 00:02:03,231 --> 00:02:05,391 Vinnie, the rats have made a nest 23 00:02:05,431 --> 00:02:07,991 out of pizza boxes, which didn't come from me, 24 00:02:08,031 --> 00:02:10,711 cos I don't eat -Foreign food. - foreign fucking food!All right. 25 00:02:10,751 --> 00:02:14,991 All right.There's too many for traps, and poison - no chance. 26 00:02:15,031 --> 00:02:16,431 My sheep might eat it. 27 00:02:16,471 --> 00:02:19,431 Why would your sheep eat poison 28 00:02:19,471 --> 00:02:23,271 in a fucking loft in a barn? Have you seen them goats that can climb mountains? 29 00:02:23,311 --> 00:02:26,191 Er... Well, what's to stop a fucking sheep 30 00:02:26,231 --> 00:02:28,991 going up a ladder? I couldn't help overhearing 31 00:02:29,031 --> 00:02:31,471 that you've got a bad case of the Rattus Rattus. 32 00:02:33,711 --> 00:02:35,711 Given the scale of the problem, right, 33 00:02:35,751 --> 00:02:39,231 there's only one man you can trust who can fix this. 34 00:02:43,911 --> 00:02:46,791 Fucking Rat Catcher? 35 00:02:47,671 --> 00:02:48,871 But you lads... 36 00:02:50,231 --> 00:02:51,911 ..can call me Curtis. 37 00:02:51,951 --> 00:02:55,031 Hey, fuck me, you never said it were Curtis Plum! 38 00:02:55,071 --> 00:02:58,271 Curtis Plum the DJ? That's right, yeah.Ex-DJ. 39 00:02:58,311 --> 00:03:01,911 Oh...I binned that hedonistic lifestyle 15 years ago. 40 00:03:01,951 --> 00:03:04,311 I heard you had a breakdown. I had a fucking epiphany! 41 00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:06,591 (His bird shacked up with another bloke 42 00:03:06,631 --> 00:03:09,911 and he smashed up a Londis with a cricket bat.) 43 00:03:09,951 --> 00:03:12,311 I donated my decks to UNICEF 44 00:03:12,351 --> 00:03:15,391 and realised what my true calling in life was.Killing rats? 45 00:03:15,431 --> 00:03:17,151 Amen. How much do you want 46 00:03:17,191 --> 00:03:19,471 for fuckin' murdering a ton of 'em in his loft? 47 00:03:19,511 --> 00:03:22,071 I don't work for money. 48 00:03:22,111 --> 00:03:24,991 Well, neither do we, most of the fucking time, do we? 49 00:03:25,031 --> 00:03:28,031 What do you want?I want my old manager Mickey's ashes. 50 00:03:29,271 --> 00:03:32,391 In his wife's house, in the lounge, in an urn. 51 00:03:32,431 --> 00:03:34,791 Here's the address. 52 00:03:34,831 --> 00:03:38,151 Charming 'Ere, don't lose it. 53 00:03:38,191 --> 00:03:40,071 Once they're in my possession, 54 00:03:40,111 --> 00:03:42,231 I'll get rid of your rats. How about that for a deal? 55 00:03:42,271 --> 00:03:45,271 All right.We're gonna have to hurry up on this, Vin. 56 00:03:45,311 --> 00:03:48,511 If the council get wind of this, I'm fucked. 57 00:03:48,551 --> 00:03:52,591 All right.I'm already on a Section 1026 notice.Sound. 58 00:03:52,631 --> 00:03:55,951 Cunts! It should've been a Section 1045, if anything... 59 00:03:55,991 --> 00:03:58,791 All right, now. ..or a Section 1022. 60 00:03:58,831 --> 00:04:02,311 I did have a Section 1009 once - Stop!- but that got overturned. 61 00:04:02,351 --> 00:04:05,551 Shut the fucking... Stop saying numbers at me! Dickhead. 62 00:04:05,591 --> 00:04:08,751 I'm gonna send our Ashley round to scope out the scene. 63 00:04:08,791 --> 00:04:12,431 If it's clear, we'll get that shit for you tonight. Get gone. Go on.OK. 64 00:04:12,471 --> 00:04:14,311 Buzzin'! 65 00:04:14,351 --> 00:04:17,871 So I googled the wife, right? Her name is Gina Mead. 66 00:04:17,911 --> 00:04:20,311 She was in a girl band in the '80s called Pink Ordeal 67 00:04:20,351 --> 00:04:23,111 and has been on Top Of The Pops not once, not twice, 68 00:04:23,151 --> 00:04:25,911 but, would you believe it, three times.Shut the fuck up. 69 00:04:25,951 --> 00:04:27,951 Listen to me. We're robbing her fucking house, 70 00:04:27,991 --> 00:04:30,391 not writing her autobiography, are we?Biography.Eh? 71 00:04:30,431 --> 00:04:33,631 It'd be "biography". If we were writing it, it'd be a biography. 72 00:04:33,671 --> 00:04:37,591 "Auto" means "oneself". Like "autofellate" - to nosh yourself off. 73 00:04:37,631 --> 00:04:40,711 Can you do that?If I've been keeping up my Pilates, then yes. 74 00:04:40,751 --> 00:04:44,831 I fucking... I swear to God, I'm gonna autofellate the lot of you, if you keep wittering on. 75 00:04:44,871 --> 00:04:47,031 You're getting on my tits. Good evening, fellas. 76 00:04:47,071 --> 00:04:49,271 Shit. Big fella, short fella, 77 00:04:49,311 --> 00:04:50,991 chubby fella 78 00:04:51,031 --> 00:04:52,751 and one with a hideous neck tattoo. 79 00:04:52,791 --> 00:04:56,911 All right, weird...egg with a moustache 80 00:04:56,951 --> 00:05:00,271 I can have you for that - offensive language.You fucking started it! 81 00:05:00,311 --> 00:05:03,751 I was just letting you know that I've clocked you...up here, 82 00:05:03,791 --> 00:05:07,551 in the old grey jotter! 83 00:05:08,471 --> 00:05:10,391 Fuck me... All fine. Carry on. 84 00:05:10,431 --> 00:05:12,471 Bye, then. Officer. 85 00:05:12,511 --> 00:05:13,671 Turd... Fucking hell. 86 00:05:13,711 --> 00:05:17,151 What an idiot.Fucking idiot... 87 00:05:17,191 --> 00:05:19,591 I can't find me fucking eye hole! 88 00:05:19,631 --> 00:05:23,631 Shit!You fucking lemon. Don't drop it, you dick! 89 00:05:25,471 --> 00:05:28,031 Just walk round. 90 00:05:28,071 --> 00:05:31,231 You can just walk round, like this. Oh, bollocks. 91 00:05:32,671 --> 00:05:34,191 Right, come on. 92 00:05:34,231 --> 00:05:37,031 Take 'em off. What?Take the ballies off. 93 00:05:37,071 --> 00:05:39,631 We look cool, though. Shh, quiet. She might be inside. 94 00:05:39,671 --> 00:05:42,151 Jesus... Crap! 95 00:05:42,191 --> 00:05:44,831 What the fuck? 96 00:05:45,831 --> 00:05:48,471 You said there weren't any dogs here, Ashley.That's not a dog. 97 00:05:48,511 --> 00:05:49,831 It's a meerkat, or something. 98 00:05:49,871 --> 00:05:52,391 Looks like a wig.It's a fucking dog. Get it before it barks. 99 00:05:53,551 --> 00:05:55,991 God, dude, it's a mutant. 100 00:05:56,031 --> 00:05:58,231 Hiya.His name's Tommo. 101 00:05:58,271 --> 00:06:00,071 Look at his tag. What? 102 00:06:00,111 --> 00:06:02,071 It's called fucking Little Tommo, in't it? 103 00:06:02,111 --> 00:06:04,671 Get in the fucking house. 104 00:06:06,511 --> 00:06:09,071 Ah, bingo. What are you doing?Let me go, dude. 105 00:06:09,111 --> 00:06:11,631 Me first, you fucking lemon. Shh! 106 00:06:12,751 --> 00:06:14,871 Oh, fuck. 107 00:06:14,911 --> 00:06:16,311 There's four of them! 108 00:06:16,351 --> 00:06:18,911 Shit, which one's Mickey's, then? Put that fucking dog down. 109 00:06:18,951 --> 00:06:21,551 My beloved spouse. Love of my life. Darling husband. 110 00:06:21,591 --> 00:06:24,471 I've got no fucking idea.Shit. Fuck it, let's just take any of 'em. 111 00:06:26,871 --> 00:06:29,911 Whoa!Fuckin' hell!You picked the wrong house this time! 112 00:06:29,951 --> 00:06:33,351 What are you doing? Go and fight her!Yaaa! 113 00:06:33,391 --> 00:06:36,631 Ow! Fuck me... 114 00:06:36,671 --> 00:06:38,831 Bloody hell! 115 00:06:40,911 --> 00:06:43,431 # DICK DALE: Misirlou 116 00:06:46,871 --> 00:06:49,671 Argh! Fuckin' hell! She bit me, lads. Ow! 117 00:06:49,711 --> 00:06:50,951 Oh... 118 00:06:50,991 --> 00:06:53,231 Aaargh! We're just here 119 00:06:53,271 --> 00:06:55,951 for the urn that has Mickey in it. 120 00:06:55,991 --> 00:06:57,831 You what? Who sent you? 121 00:06:57,871 --> 00:07:00,631 Eh? It wasn't Curtis Plum, was it? 122 00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:04,591 No, it weren't. No. I'm gonna smash 'em all! 123 00:07:04,631 --> 00:07:06,951 I'll punch your dog! You wouldn't. Oh! 124 00:07:06,991 --> 00:07:09,391 Go! Go in that van! 125 00:07:13,911 --> 00:07:16,271 Curtis Plum's a fucking liar! 126 00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:20,191 Tell him I hope he gets leprosy of the arsehole! 127 00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:22,591 I swear, I thought she was gonna smash that fucking - Whoa! 128 00:07:22,631 --> 00:07:24,591 Oof! Er... 129 00:07:24,631 --> 00:07:28,431 Fuck, dude! I think I broke my nose again. 130 00:07:37,311 --> 00:07:40,271 It's too big, Dad. It's not too big.. 131 00:07:40,311 --> 00:07:43,631 There you go. All right.Aww... 132 00:07:44,011 --> 00:07:47,651 Thanks for the bike, Vin. Oh, you're all right. I haven't nicked it off a kid. 133 00:07:50,451 --> 00:07:52,491 How's therapy going? It's good. 134 00:07:52,531 --> 00:07:54,531 Yeah? Yeah, it's all right. 135 00:07:54,571 --> 00:07:57,731 Do you feel like it's helping? I don't know. 136 00:07:57,771 --> 00:08:00,251 I don't know. 137 00:08:00,291 --> 00:08:02,291 Yeah, it must be. Yeah. 138 00:08:08,011 --> 00:08:10,011 What's going on between us, Vin? 139 00:08:13,331 --> 00:08:14,651 How do you mean? 140 00:08:14,691 --> 00:08:17,211 Oh, come on. You know what I mean. 141 00:08:22,451 --> 00:08:24,691 Erm... 142 00:08:26,331 --> 00:08:29,371 Fucking hell, that seat's too high up.It's fine. 143 00:08:29,411 --> 00:08:32,411 It's not, cos if he falls off... He won't fall off. 144 00:08:32,451 --> 00:08:36,291 Just leave it. Just let me have a fiddle with it. Vin?I'll come back in a sec. 145 00:08:36,331 --> 00:08:39,051 Come here to me. Show me a wheelie. 146 00:08:42,491 --> 00:08:44,491 # SUPERTRAMP: Goodbye Stranger 147 00:08:48,011 --> 00:08:51,811 I can't believe you sent this Curtis Plum guy your grandmother's ring! 148 00:08:51,851 --> 00:08:54,771 Ah, I was 14 years old. It's not like I did it last week. 149 00:08:54,811 --> 00:08:59,051 Yeah, but why?Oh, everybody knew him and wanted him... 150 00:08:59,931 --> 00:09:02,051 ..wanted to feel his body pressed up against theirs 151 00:09:02,091 --> 00:09:05,131 in a night of explosive passion! Rumour had it... 152 00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:08,411 ..that he was a big lad... Oh! 153 00:09:08,451 --> 00:09:11,131 ..and that he could ride you till sunrise 154 00:09:11,171 --> 00:09:14,091 and still have enough left in the tank 155 00:09:14,131 --> 00:09:17,491 to smash the gee out of you and your best friend...Oh, God! 156 00:09:17,531 --> 00:09:20,891 ..after a light breakfast. 157 00:09:20,931 --> 00:09:23,411 You know? 158 00:09:23,451 --> 00:09:24,931 All right! 159 00:09:24,971 --> 00:09:27,491 Peep, peep, motherfucker! 160 00:09:27,531 --> 00:09:31,211 Someone's told me that you wanna meet a decrepit old DJ. 161 00:09:31,251 --> 00:09:33,251 CAROL: I'm getting the ring back. 162 00:09:36,011 --> 00:09:38,451 Fucking hell, here we go. 163 00:09:38,491 --> 00:09:40,571 Oh, God... 164 00:09:42,931 --> 00:09:45,251 Fellas!Mm. Ladies... 165 00:09:45,291 --> 00:09:48,491 Are we sorted, or what? Did you get 'em?Been a bit of a mishap. 166 00:09:48,531 --> 00:09:50,211 Mishap, how? 167 00:09:53,371 --> 00:09:55,771 Per-fucking-fecto. 168 00:09:55,811 --> 00:09:58,091 You happy?Mm. Fabulous! 169 00:09:58,131 --> 00:10:01,491 See?Do you fancy coming in for a brew, or what? 170 00:10:01,531 --> 00:10:03,891 Oh, yes, we would! I can't...Can of worms, love. 171 00:10:03,931 --> 00:10:06,771 Fuck... Come on, then, Sugar. Is that cheese in there? 172 00:10:06,811 --> 00:10:09,811 Yeah, and pickle Dude, it is a shit hole 173 00:10:09,851 --> 00:10:13,331 in here. What's the deal? Come in, come in.We'll look around 174 00:10:13,371 --> 00:10:16,091 as soon as he fuckin' fucks off. 175 00:10:16,131 --> 00:10:19,691 You just moved in, Curtis? Well, yeah, sort of, 176 00:10:19,731 --> 00:10:22,411 but it was about 2015... 177 00:10:22,451 --> 00:10:25,131 ..just after my Auntie Moira died. Yeah. 178 00:10:25,171 --> 00:10:26,411 She used to like things neat. 179 00:10:26,451 --> 00:10:29,411 Actually, guys, can you just give me a minute? 180 00:10:29,451 --> 00:10:32,371 I'm just gonna have a little...tidy-up.Yeah, yeah. 181 00:10:32,411 --> 00:10:35,731 You do that. Thanks for having us. 182 00:10:35,771 --> 00:10:39,891 Jesus, lads, this place is like a murderer lives here. 183 00:10:39,931 --> 00:10:41,971 Hey!I swear to God. Keep your fucking voice down. 184 00:10:42,011 --> 00:10:44,211 He's not a murderer. 185 00:10:44,251 --> 00:10:46,651 He's an oddly topless, sensual DJ. 186 00:10:46,691 --> 00:10:50,651 Vincent, he's got hooks on the fucking ceiling and he kills rats. 187 00:10:50,691 --> 00:10:54,131 Serial-killer shit, in't it? Yeah, and he never wears a top. 188 00:10:54,171 --> 00:10:56,691 Jeffrey Dahmer never wore a top. Yes, he did. 189 00:10:56,731 --> 00:10:58,451 Fred West wore tops. Ted Bundy wore tops. 190 00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,691 I've got a Ted Bundy top. You've got a Ted BAKER top. 191 00:11:00,731 --> 00:11:04,411 Stop talking about what serial killers wore bloody tops! 192 00:11:04,451 --> 00:11:07,971 He's a fucking DJ - that's it. He's a nice fella. He's sensitive. 193 00:11:08,011 --> 00:11:09,491 He's a DJ - right, 194 00:11:09,531 --> 00:11:11,051 cos they're all nice lads, them 195 00:11:11,091 --> 00:11:13,891 Way-hay! Now, then. Now, then.Now, then. 196 00:11:13,931 --> 00:11:15,931 Thanks for having us. 197 00:11:16,811 --> 00:11:20,211 Come in. Make yourself at home. Right, yeah, just...Hey! 198 00:11:21,491 --> 00:11:24,211 Sorry. Do you have any chairs, or... 199 00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:27,011 Jeez, chairs! Look, I'm so used to not having any, 200 00:11:27,051 --> 00:11:29,291 that I didn't even notice that the... 201 00:11:32,251 --> 00:11:34,451 There you are, love. You're up the duff, aren't you? 202 00:11:34,491 --> 00:11:38,131 It's not quite the phrase I'd use, but...thanks. 203 00:11:38,171 --> 00:11:39,971 I don't really have many visitors. 204 00:11:41,051 --> 00:11:43,811 Just thinking out loud, but do you reckon you don't have any visitors 205 00:11:43,851 --> 00:11:45,131 cos you don't have any chairs? 206 00:11:45,171 --> 00:11:47,971 Maybe I got rid of the chairs cos nobody came round. 207 00:11:48,851 --> 00:11:50,971 Yeah, I suppose so, yeah. 208 00:11:52,011 --> 00:11:54,531 Jeez, I forgot Mickey! 209 00:11:56,091 --> 00:11:58,811 Mickey... Hm! 210 00:12:00,371 --> 00:12:01,851 Can you just excuse me a minute? 211 00:12:04,211 --> 00:12:07,011 Actually, it would mean a lot... 212 00:12:08,291 --> 00:12:10,291 ..if you could all be there. 213 00:12:10,331 --> 00:12:12,331 # THE HEAVY: Short Change Hero 214 00:12:17,291 --> 00:12:19,131 Thanks. Thanks, guys. 215 00:12:19,171 --> 00:12:21,171 Thanks for being here. 216 00:12:29,411 --> 00:12:32,051 Pissing on him... 217 00:12:35,291 --> 00:12:38,371 So long, you fucking prick! 218 00:12:44,051 --> 00:12:45,411 Ooh! Hello! 219 00:12:45,451 --> 00:12:48,691 Brew? 220 00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:56,131 Sorry about the er...eclectic array of cups, 221 00:12:56,171 --> 00:12:58,411 but there is a lot of you, in't there? 222 00:12:58,451 --> 00:13:01,851 Dude, what's all this shit in here? What do you mean? 223 00:13:01,891 --> 00:13:04,171 What do you mean? It's madness. It's madness, innit? 224 00:13:04,211 --> 00:13:07,811 This can't all be from rat catching, love.Well, you'd be surprised. 225 00:13:09,251 --> 00:13:11,291 But yeah, you know, once I had my er... 226 00:13:11,331 --> 00:13:13,291 Mental breakdown? 227 00:13:13,331 --> 00:13:16,131 Epiphany... 228 00:13:18,651 --> 00:13:22,211 ..I couldn't bear to be parted from objects of great beauty. 229 00:13:22,251 --> 00:13:23,971 Mm, I can see that, 230 00:13:24,011 --> 00:13:26,171 but all this shit now, dude, 231 00:13:26,211 --> 00:13:30,451 it's anxiety-inducing, the gaff. 232 00:13:30,491 --> 00:13:33,051 I'm riddled with anxiety. I've been here ten minutes. 233 00:13:33,091 --> 00:13:35,091 I can't imagine how you feel! 234 00:13:35,131 --> 00:13:37,891 There you go. What can I say, brother? 235 00:13:38,931 --> 00:13:41,411 Tidying just isn't my thing. Mm. 236 00:13:41,451 --> 00:13:43,371 I've thought about getting someone in once, 237 00:13:43,411 --> 00:13:46,851 but they just want money. Unbelievable, eh? Some people! 238 00:13:49,371 --> 00:13:52,531 Well, we can... we can clean the house, can't we? 239 00:13:52,571 --> 00:13:55,331 Yeah, yeah. Let us help you out, get rid of all this mess. 240 00:13:55,371 --> 00:13:57,611 I suppose a spring clean might be good idea, 241 00:13:57,651 --> 00:14:01,611 although a lot of this stuff is very precious to me! 242 00:14:02,731 --> 00:14:05,051 Valuable. 243 00:14:05,091 --> 00:14:07,571 I've got some unopened nappies somewhere in the house. 244 00:14:07,611 --> 00:14:10,291 You can have them as payment. Aww, thank you. 245 00:14:10,331 --> 00:14:12,091 Well, that sorts that right out, 246 00:14:12,131 --> 00:14:13,651 don't it? 'Ey, listen, 247 00:14:13,691 --> 00:14:17,531 I want you up at Jim's farm tomorrow morning, 9am. 248 00:14:17,571 --> 00:14:20,251 Three, two, one. 249 00:14:20,291 --> 00:14:22,571 He's two fucking hours late, Vin! 250 00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:27,251 For the love of Christ! Listen, Rentokil give you an 'alf-day window, didn't they? 251 00:14:27,291 --> 00:14:29,651 So you're still up on the fucking deal. Stop whining! 252 00:14:29,691 --> 00:14:31,451 Here he is, look. 253 00:14:31,491 --> 00:14:33,611 Finally! 254 00:14:36,291 --> 00:14:37,811 Morning. 255 00:14:37,851 --> 00:14:39,131 Oh, here he is. 256 00:14:39,171 --> 00:14:41,171 Efficient, I see 257 00:14:42,251 --> 00:14:44,691 The right fucking season, at least I overslept. 258 00:14:44,731 --> 00:14:47,371 It's a good job you've been "paid" already, 259 00:14:47,411 --> 00:14:49,811 because I'd be docking your wages now. 260 00:14:49,851 --> 00:14:52,651 I don't like your harsh attitude, brother. 261 00:14:52,691 --> 00:14:56,571 I'll come back when you're full of peace and love.You'll have a long fucking wait, pal! 262 00:14:56,611 --> 00:14:59,251 Hang on a minute! I'm sorry about him. Just listen! 263 00:14:59,291 --> 00:15:02,731 He's always been this way and he has got a load of rats 264 00:15:02,771 --> 00:15:05,011 shagging the life out of his loft, so we need it sorting. 265 00:15:05,051 --> 00:15:07,811 Council's pecking his head now, aren't they? 266 00:15:07,851 --> 00:15:09,531 So be fucking nice. 267 00:15:11,651 --> 00:15:14,091 Pretty please. 268 00:15:14,131 --> 00:15:15,211 Hmm... 269 00:15:15,251 --> 00:15:17,251 You prick. Pillock! 270 00:15:18,211 --> 00:15:21,451 So what's the sleeping bag for - dead rat overflow 271 00:15:21,491 --> 00:15:23,971 I like to nest in with them, you know, till t'job's done. 272 00:15:24,011 --> 00:15:26,771 And Mrs Ratcatcher's happy with that, is she? 273 00:15:26,811 --> 00:15:28,891 Mrs? No. 274 00:15:28,931 --> 00:15:30,931 I'm young, free and single, brother. 275 00:15:30,971 --> 00:15:33,411 It's not gonna be a problem, me staying, is it, Vin? 276 00:15:33,451 --> 00:15:35,611 Cos I think, you know, it's best I'm out the way 277 00:15:35,651 --> 00:15:37,651 while the girls clear the house and you know... 278 00:15:37,691 --> 00:15:41,011 it's gonna be tough for me watching my life's work disappear in the back of a van. 279 00:15:41,051 --> 00:15:43,811 Absolutely. I get it, man. I get it. 280 00:15:43,851 --> 00:15:47,251 It is no fucking problem whatsoever, is it? 281 00:15:48,851 --> 00:15:50,171 Join the club! 282 00:15:50,211 --> 00:15:51,691 Why not? 283 00:15:51,731 --> 00:15:54,291 There's more knob ends slept in that attic recently 284 00:15:54,331 --> 00:15:56,371 than the fucking Hilton 285 00:15:56,411 --> 00:15:58,331 What do you want? Fucking room service 286 00:15:58,371 --> 00:16:00,371 That'd be lovely. 287 00:16:02,451 --> 00:16:04,251 SUGAR: Oh, Jesus Christ! 288 00:16:04,291 --> 00:16:07,451 We'd better start. Eurgh! Bleurgh! 289 00:16:07,491 --> 00:16:10,451 Whoa... Ah, maybe we just forget about the ring. 290 00:16:10,491 --> 00:16:12,691 It's not as if my gran was that happily married. 291 00:16:12,731 --> 00:16:15,611 No way! No! Are you up for this, you? 292 00:16:15,651 --> 00:16:17,811 Anything to take my mind off JJ. 293 00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:20,971 Anyway, I'll need them gross nappies that Curtis mentioned, 294 00:16:21,011 --> 00:16:22,451 if I'm gonna be a single mum. 295 00:16:22,491 --> 00:16:27,051 Listen, you are gonna be everything what that baby needs, all right? 296 00:16:27,091 --> 00:16:29,331 Anyway, you're not single - 297 00:16:29,371 --> 00:16:33,331 you can stay at my house for as long as you like.Mm. Right... 298 00:16:33,371 --> 00:16:37,091 Where do we start? Cousin Fergal will be over later in his dead-nan van 299 00:16:37,131 --> 00:16:39,691 and he will rid this place in no time 300 00:16:39,731 --> 00:16:41,371 and he will give us £200 for the pleasure. 301 00:16:41,411 --> 00:16:44,131 All we have to do is find that fecking ring. 302 00:16:44,171 --> 00:16:47,251 No! Hey! Do I look like fucking Basil Fawlty? 303 00:16:47,291 --> 00:16:49,851 It's in preparation. Preparation. Preparation. 304 00:16:49,891 --> 00:16:52,851 Is this a fucking bed and breakfast? Stop pestering me, will you? 305 00:16:52,891 --> 00:16:54,571 Even the bloke with the terriers 306 00:16:54,611 --> 00:16:57,451 said he could get the job done in two days! 307 00:16:57,491 --> 00:16:59,411 Still getting on, then 'Ere, lazy prick. 308 00:16:59,451 --> 00:17:02,211 I'm not fucking doing that shit for you again. Don't get used to that! 309 00:17:02,251 --> 00:17:06,171 Mate, I wasn't gonna leave this tosser in my house by himself, Vin. 310 00:17:06,211 --> 00:17:09,931 In fact, I've changed my mind on those rats. 311 00:17:09,971 --> 00:17:12,771 Lets just nuke the fucking lot of 'em! 312 00:17:12,811 --> 00:17:13,971 OI! 313 00:17:14,011 --> 00:17:15,611 Stop shouting, all right? 314 00:17:15,651 --> 00:17:18,691 What is your fucking beef with him? He's a sweetheart. 315 00:17:18,731 --> 00:17:20,611 He don't even wear tops, Vin... 316 00:17:20,651 --> 00:17:23,211 and that's a black-belt wanker move. 317 00:17:23,251 --> 00:17:26,051 I need to give the rats full access to my pheromones.Right. 318 00:17:26,091 --> 00:17:27,371 He wants to be up there a week. 319 00:17:27,411 --> 00:17:31,371 A whole fucking week!He just don't respect my methods, brother. 320 00:17:31,411 --> 00:17:34,611 I heard him in the attic reciting poetry to 'em! 321 00:17:34,651 --> 00:17:36,931 Rats are highly intelligent mammals. 322 00:17:36,971 --> 00:17:38,211 Rats are cunts! 323 00:17:38,251 --> 00:17:40,891 You've gotta gain their trust, you see. 324 00:17:40,931 --> 00:17:43,051 Gain their trust, then...bam! 325 00:17:43,091 --> 00:17:47,091 What do you mean? You just twat 'em with a stick?Pretty much.Fuck me! 326 00:17:47,131 --> 00:17:49,251 How do you think I maintain 12% body fat? 327 00:17:49,291 --> 00:17:51,731 Well, it's...it's twatting rats to death, in it? 328 00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:53,891 I'm the Rat Master. 329 00:17:53,931 --> 00:17:56,891 You need to trust what I'm doing, 330 00:17:56,931 --> 00:17:57,971 trust my methods. 331 00:17:58,011 --> 00:18:03,651 I actually invite them to leave first, "mano a rato". 332 00:18:03,691 --> 00:18:05,691 Then, if they don't... 333 00:18:08,331 --> 00:18:10,331 # WET LEG: Chaise Longue 334 00:18:12,491 --> 00:18:15,051 Aargh... Aaargh! 335 00:18:15,091 --> 00:18:17,091 Oh, put them down! 336 00:18:21,611 --> 00:18:23,651 Ooh! 337 00:18:27,691 --> 00:18:29,691 Oh, heck... 338 00:18:29,731 --> 00:18:31,411 # On the chaise longue 339 00:18:31,451 --> 00:18:33,491 # On the chaise longue On the chaise longue 340 00:18:33,531 --> 00:18:35,371 # All day long On the chaise longue 341 00:18:35,411 --> 00:18:38,091 # On the chaise longue On the chaise longue 342 00:18:38,131 --> 00:18:39,291 # On the chaise longue 343 00:18:39,331 --> 00:18:41,851 # All day long On the chaise longue 344 00:18:41,891 --> 00:18:43,091 # On the chaise longue 345 00:18:43,131 --> 00:18:45,291 # On the chaise longue On the chaise longue 346 00:18:45,331 --> 00:18:47,611 # All day long On the chaise longue 347 00:18:47,651 --> 00:18:49,011 # On the chaise longue 348 00:18:49,051 --> 00:18:51,251 # On the chaise longue On the chaise longue 349 00:18:51,291 --> 00:18:53,531 # All day long On the chaise longue 350 00:18:53,571 --> 00:18:55,851 # All day long All day long on the chaise longue 351 00:18:55,891 --> 00:18:58,291 We're never gonna get that smell out of our nostrils. 352 00:18:58,331 --> 00:19:01,491 # All day long On the chaise longue # 353 00:19:01,531 --> 00:19:04,371 I am in so much pain. My neck... 354 00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:07,411 All right, tell Fergal it's the recycling next... 355 00:19:07,451 --> 00:19:11,011 and then this is the stuff that wants fixing... 356 00:19:11,051 --> 00:19:14,491 and then this stuff is good for resale, yeah? 357 00:19:14,531 --> 00:19:17,531 We've not even a third way through the house yet, are we? 358 00:19:17,571 --> 00:19:20,491 You know, let's just call them dickheads so they can help. 359 00:19:20,531 --> 00:19:22,051 Yeah. Yeah? 360 00:19:22,091 --> 00:19:24,491 Yeah, we need help. We need help. 361 00:19:26,171 --> 00:19:28,051 Eight hours' manual labour 362 00:19:28,091 --> 00:19:30,731 and all we've got to show for it is some old boxes of cassettes 363 00:19:30,771 --> 00:19:32,571 and this lot, which I can only assume 364 00:19:32,611 --> 00:19:34,771 is an old bit of acid. 365 00:19:34,811 --> 00:19:37,731 You have that.No, no, no. I'm on the straight and narrow, mate. 366 00:19:37,771 --> 00:19:39,091 Fucking hell! 367 00:19:39,131 --> 00:19:40,811 Let's look at that. 368 00:19:40,851 --> 00:19:42,931 Red Balloons.Huh? 99 Red Balloons. 369 00:19:42,971 --> 00:19:45,531 It's fucking legendary, that stuff. Jesus Christ! 370 00:19:45,571 --> 00:19:48,451 All right. Straight and narrow. All I'm saying is... 371 00:19:48,491 --> 00:19:50,371 I'm not gonna take it, am I? It's just.... 372 00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:53,931 It's a collector's item. It's vintage, yeah. 373 00:19:53,971 --> 00:19:57,051 Hang on... Cardi, you angel, did you find it? 374 00:19:57,091 --> 00:19:59,691 No, but...what's this? 375 00:20:01,691 --> 00:20:04,531 Oh, that IS vintage! Oh... 376 00:20:06,211 --> 00:20:08,211 It looks pagan. 377 00:20:08,251 --> 00:20:09,651 Oh, what's it made of? 378 00:20:09,691 --> 00:20:11,371 That doesn't feel like paper, that. 379 00:20:12,891 --> 00:20:15,531 One way to find out. 380 00:20:15,571 --> 00:20:17,731 Aaaargh! What, what? 381 00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:21,491 It's a... ..a "mammary papilla". 382 00:20:21,531 --> 00:20:24,051 ALL: What?It's a nipple! It's a fucking nipple. 383 00:20:24,091 --> 00:20:27,051 Is it the first dead nipple you've had in your mouth? 384 00:20:27,091 --> 00:20:29,371 It's some sort of animal skin with tattoos. 385 00:20:29,411 --> 00:20:31,411 Oh, my God, it's human. BOTH: Waaaa! 386 00:20:31,451 --> 00:20:35,731 I can still fucking taste it! I can taste it in my mouth! 387 00:20:35,771 --> 00:20:38,771 PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, TOMMO! Whoa, whoa, whoa! 388 00:20:38,811 --> 00:20:41,211 Very nice, yes. Well done. 389 00:20:42,171 --> 00:20:43,531 You, you - follow me. 390 00:20:43,571 --> 00:20:47,811 Where?The one place where I've seen this symbol before. 391 00:20:52,051 --> 00:20:54,531 Closed, my arse 392 00:20:54,571 --> 00:20:57,371 WOMAN: I'm closed! See what I mean? Unnecessary, that. 393 00:20:59,691 --> 00:21:02,091 I said I'm closed! 394 00:21:03,451 --> 00:21:04,931 I'm closed! 395 00:21:04,971 --> 00:21:07,491 Right, yes, well, er... it is quite important, so... 396 00:21:07,531 --> 00:21:09,691 And I'm talking to dead people. Ooh! 397 00:21:09,731 --> 00:21:12,371 Anyway... ..do you know what this is? 398 00:21:17,171 --> 00:21:18,811 Rings a bell. 399 00:21:18,851 --> 00:21:22,211 It's an occult symbol I had drawn on the wall to jazz the place up a bit. 400 00:21:23,931 --> 00:21:26,891 No idea how it got on your map, however. Hmm... 401 00:21:26,931 --> 00:21:29,091 Map? However, interesting. 402 00:21:31,131 --> 00:21:32,251 Vellum. Mm-hm. 403 00:21:33,731 --> 00:21:36,931 Human. Oh?Oh?Yeah... 404 00:21:38,611 --> 00:21:40,331 Give you twenty quid for it. Great. 405 00:21:40,371 --> 00:21:42,571 'Ey, 'ey, 'ey, 'ey, Ashley... No. 406 00:21:43,931 --> 00:21:46,011 Let's get out of here. £30. 407 00:21:46,051 --> 00:21:48,131 Woo! 'Ey, sticky fingers! 408 00:21:49,891 --> 00:21:51,891 Huh! 409 00:21:55,051 --> 00:21:58,171 Mmm... # 410 00:22:04,731 --> 00:22:06,771 OK. Yeah, I'll ask him. 411 00:22:10,011 --> 00:22:12,131 £100. 412 00:22:12,171 --> 00:22:15,011 The spirits are very keen for me to have it.Tommo? 413 00:22:15,051 --> 00:22:17,451 Yeah, but crucially, what you're saying is, 414 00:22:17,491 --> 00:22:19,891 you're not gonna give us any information?Right. 415 00:22:19,931 --> 00:22:22,131 Very good, lads. Onwards. 416 00:22:22,171 --> 00:22:25,011 It's cursed! The map is cursed! 417 00:22:28,851 --> 00:22:31,931 I curse it - and I curse you, too, you little wanker. 418 00:22:34,091 --> 00:22:37,091 Yeah, when you're 5'5" and you hang around with these cunts, 419 00:22:37,131 --> 00:22:40,291 you're pretty much cursed as it is, so I'll take my chances. 420 00:22:42,211 --> 00:22:47,331 Erm, please, please can I buy some crystals while I'm here?Sure. 421 00:22:47,371 --> 00:22:49,131 Yes! 422 00:22:59,851 --> 00:23:02,051 Why didn't we take the hundred quid? 423 00:23:02,091 --> 00:23:06,211 That's more than anyone else will pay for a soggy old bit of skin we found in Plum's gaff. 424 00:23:06,251 --> 00:23:08,531 Because, Ashley, you saw the look on the woman's face. 425 00:23:08,571 --> 00:23:10,371 Whatever this map leads to 426 00:23:10,411 --> 00:23:12,691 is clearly worth more than whatever she was offering. 427 00:23:12,731 --> 00:23:14,891 You mean like a treasure? No, not fucking... 428 00:23:14,931 --> 00:23:17,291 Well, yeah, treasure! Treasure! 429 00:23:29,371 --> 00:23:31,651 This is weird, right? 430 00:23:31,691 --> 00:23:33,251 I just hate my fucking hands! 431 00:23:33,291 --> 00:23:36,171 They...they...they're odd to me. 432 00:23:37,691 --> 00:23:40,411 My fucking face is the same. I'll look in the mirror. 433 00:23:40,451 --> 00:23:45,091 Every now and then, it...it feels like...it's not my face. 434 00:23:46,291 --> 00:23:47,971 Like it doesn't belong to me. 435 00:23:49,051 --> 00:23:51,371 I mean, I could just be a bloody narcissist. 436 00:23:52,651 --> 00:23:57,571 You know...thinks he's fucking ugly, or summat of that kind, 437 00:23:57,611 --> 00:23:59,611 you know. Hmm... 438 00:24:01,771 --> 00:24:04,091 Well, we're all narcissists to some degree, Vinnie. 439 00:24:04,131 --> 00:24:06,131 Hmm... 440 00:24:08,331 --> 00:24:10,331 We used to have this... 441 00:24:11,771 --> 00:24:14,891 ..fancy-dress thing once a year at school. 442 00:24:17,211 --> 00:24:19,771 'Because Dad was always drunk, it was, like, last minute. 443 00:24:19,811 --> 00:24:23,051 Everything was last minute, so we'd have to pull together 444 00:24:23,091 --> 00:24:25,891 some sort of a fucking outfit from around the house... 445 00:24:26,851 --> 00:24:31,131 ..so I remember once, I wore a snorkel with the bloody goggles... 446 00:24:32,211 --> 00:24:34,091 ..and them fucking flipper things. 447 00:24:34,131 --> 00:24:35,731 When we got to school, 448 00:24:35,771 --> 00:24:39,091 my dad sort of announced me as fucking Snorkel Boy, 449 00:24:39,131 --> 00:24:41,451 or some shit like that. He found it hilarious... 450 00:24:41,491 --> 00:24:44,251 but I suddenly got really fucking embarrassed. 451 00:24:44,291 --> 00:24:46,651 No-one laughed at it. 452 00:24:46,691 --> 00:24:48,891 They just... 453 00:24:48,931 --> 00:24:50,931 stared.' 454 00:24:56,531 --> 00:24:59,451 Oh, that must have been hard. 455 00:24:59,491 --> 00:25:02,131 Do you remember how it affected that little boy? 456 00:25:03,251 --> 00:25:07,811 I wanted to get away from it all, wanted to disappear, 457 00:25:07,851 --> 00:25:09,851 become invisible. 458 00:25:11,211 --> 00:25:14,091 Invisible?Mm. Why? 459 00:25:15,131 --> 00:25:20,171 Just how much of a fucking ugly little weirdo must I be 460 00:25:20,211 --> 00:25:22,291 to be stared at like that, 461 00:25:22,331 --> 00:25:24,891 by the teachers and by the kids... 462 00:25:26,851 --> 00:25:29,491 Do you think that's why you constantly change your appearance? 463 00:25:31,571 --> 00:25:34,051 You know, the tattoos and stuff... 464 00:25:35,851 --> 00:25:38,771 Rather than to be noticed, you become unrecognisable 465 00:25:38,811 --> 00:25:41,691 and therefore invisible? 466 00:25:41,731 --> 00:25:43,771 Maybe, actually, yeah. 467 00:25:43,811 --> 00:25:45,331 I just...I don't... 468 00:25:46,851 --> 00:25:50,171 ..feel like it's bloody vanity, do you know what I mean? 469 00:25:50,211 --> 00:25:53,091 I've just...I've never liked the way I looked - never. 470 00:25:54,171 --> 00:25:56,691 Bloody hell! 471 00:25:56,731 --> 00:25:59,291 Sometimes, when that goes off, I'm furious 472 00:25:59,331 --> 00:26:01,571 and the rest of the fucking time I'm just relieved. 473 00:26:02,931 --> 00:26:04,051 Homework. 474 00:26:04,091 --> 00:26:08,771 "I must not call myself an ugly cunt," 475 00:26:08,811 --> 00:26:11,331 and I have to write it down a hundred times - is that it? 476 00:26:11,371 --> 00:26:16,211 No, I want you to be more aware of other people's feelings. 477 00:26:16,251 --> 00:26:18,171 Seek first to understand, 478 00:26:18,211 --> 00:26:20,931 then be understood. 479 00:26:20,971 --> 00:26:23,451 Hmm. 480 00:26:23,491 --> 00:26:26,611 It didn't work, by the way. What's that? 481 00:26:27,891 --> 00:26:30,211 You're not invisible. I can see you. 482 00:26:34,091 --> 00:26:36,211 All these are from my loft? Yeah. 483 00:26:37,971 --> 00:26:40,491 Good job you don't charge by the kilo 484 00:26:40,531 --> 00:26:42,531 What did I tell you, Jim? 485 00:26:43,571 --> 00:26:46,171 Trust me. Trust you? 486 00:26:46,211 --> 00:26:49,811 I know your type: ex-pretty boy, 487 00:26:49,851 --> 00:26:52,531 never done an 'ard day's work in your life! 488 00:26:52,571 --> 00:26:56,531 Spraying it about all around town, 489 00:26:56,571 --> 00:26:58,611 but can't turn your hand to anything manual. 490 00:26:58,651 --> 00:27:00,251 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 491 00:27:00,291 --> 00:27:02,771 One, I'm highly trained. I'm the best. 492 00:27:02,811 --> 00:27:05,091 Then why haven't you finished the fucking job yet? 493 00:27:05,131 --> 00:27:10,451 Two, I don't go fucking "spraying it around town". 494 00:27:11,491 --> 00:27:12,611 Not any more, anyway. 495 00:27:12,651 --> 00:27:18,251 Not since er...Gina. 496 00:27:18,291 --> 00:27:21,811 Is that the ex who battered the lads? 497 00:27:25,051 --> 00:27:26,331 Fantastic woman, Jim. 498 00:27:27,651 --> 00:27:29,891 Sounds like a total fucking nightmare. 499 00:27:32,411 --> 00:27:34,411 Spirited... 500 00:27:36,931 --> 00:27:38,771 Strong thighs... 501 00:27:41,371 --> 00:27:43,971 Hey... 502 00:27:46,851 --> 00:27:49,571 We've all had women who make us cry. 503 00:27:49,611 --> 00:27:52,291 Yeah. 504 00:27:52,331 --> 00:27:57,211 Whether they break our hearts or run off... 505 00:27:58,291 --> 00:28:03,531 ..with our new and very fucking expensive milking equipment. 506 00:28:05,011 --> 00:28:10,171 Just...make sure you're finished by tonight. 507 00:28:12,851 --> 00:28:16,131 When you said Tommo sounded weird on the phone...I don't know. 508 00:28:16,171 --> 00:28:17,571 Well, what did he say? 509 00:28:17,611 --> 00:28:20,371 He said he was at "The Lady" pub - where the map leads, apparently. 510 00:28:24,011 --> 00:28:27,091 Found any treasure yet, Tom? Treasure? 511 00:28:28,611 --> 00:28:31,651 No, no, no. 512 00:28:32,851 --> 00:28:34,131 I'm looking for bones. 513 00:28:34,171 --> 00:28:36,051 Yeah, she's er... 514 00:28:36,091 --> 00:28:39,651 helped me realise what's going on. Obvious, when you think about it! 515 00:28:39,691 --> 00:28:41,131 The garden of The Lady... 516 00:28:41,171 --> 00:28:44,251 is bones. Sorry, who's this - Clara Marie? 517 00:28:44,291 --> 00:28:47,691 No, you fucking idiot - the fucking ghost lady from the Rat and Cutter! 518 00:28:47,731 --> 00:28:49,251 She hmm... 519 00:28:49,291 --> 00:28:51,571 Oh! Gotta fill you, hadn't I? 520 00:28:52,451 --> 00:28:54,771 I've had...a vision. 521 00:28:58,491 --> 00:29:01,931 Help me, Tommo... 522 00:29:01,971 --> 00:29:04,891 Find me, Tommo... 523 00:29:08,971 --> 00:29:13,571 She wants me to put her flesh and her bones back together. 524 00:29:13,611 --> 00:29:18,571 This was a dream? More of a sort of waking nightmare sort of situation, yeah. 525 00:29:18,611 --> 00:29:22,371 Tommo, sorry, you haven't had any of that old acid, by any chance? 526 00:29:22,411 --> 00:29:25,411 I did, because it were vintage, right? 527 00:29:25,451 --> 00:29:29,211 But you promised Hans you wouldn't. How about we don't tell Hans that I've had it, then? 528 00:29:29,251 --> 00:29:32,651 Go on, then, how was it? 529 00:29:32,691 --> 00:29:37,731 It was...piquant, yet...intense. 530 00:29:37,771 --> 00:29:38,931 Yeah. 531 00:29:38,971 --> 00:29:41,051 Anyway, she wants me to get her bones back, 532 00:29:41,091 --> 00:29:43,411 otherwise she's gonna have to come and kill us all, so... 533 00:29:44,411 --> 00:29:46,451 ..better get on with it! 534 00:29:46,491 --> 00:29:48,811 Bones? Bones! 535 00:30:03,811 --> 00:30:06,091 Aww... 536 00:30:15,531 --> 00:30:18,051 Vincent? All right, Davey? 537 00:30:18,091 --> 00:30:20,771 I've been better. Hmm. 538 00:30:20,811 --> 00:30:22,851 All right. 539 00:30:24,091 --> 00:30:27,211 Never did get to thank you properly for the funeral. 540 00:30:28,171 --> 00:30:32,651 It was really very lovely... till it all went tits up. 541 00:30:32,691 --> 00:30:34,651 Ah, it was my pleasure man. Honestly. 542 00:30:34,691 --> 00:30:36,691 I mean, it wasn't a fucking pleasure, was it? 543 00:30:36,731 --> 00:30:39,411 It was a shagging nightmare, but you know what I mean. 544 00:30:39,451 --> 00:30:41,371 It's fine. I'm glad I could help. 545 00:30:41,411 --> 00:30:44,691 Just a shame our Barry didn't get to see for himself just how loved he was. 546 00:30:44,731 --> 00:30:46,171 Fucking did get to see, though. 547 00:30:46,211 --> 00:30:48,891 That fucking lunatic! Jesus Christ. 548 00:30:52,011 --> 00:30:55,131 I still can't believe he's gone. Mm. 549 00:30:55,171 --> 00:30:57,531 Miss him terribly. 550 00:30:57,571 --> 00:30:59,891 I fucking bet you do. I bet you do. 551 00:30:59,931 --> 00:31:01,971 Look, you're not on your own, man. 552 00:31:02,011 --> 00:31:04,771 You know, you've got your sister Donna.Donna's a cunt. 553 00:31:04,811 --> 00:31:07,451 Right. Right, then. 554 00:31:08,451 --> 00:31:10,451 I mean, that's fucking news to me, dude. 555 00:31:10,491 --> 00:31:12,571 Do not fuck with her, Vincent. 556 00:31:13,451 --> 00:31:15,051 I'm telling you this as a friend. 557 00:31:18,931 --> 00:31:21,451 I'm glad I could help you with your brother's funeral, 558 00:31:21,491 --> 00:31:25,131 but you're not a friend. I can't trust you after that Dylan fiasco. 559 00:31:26,411 --> 00:31:29,771 What makes you so sure that I had anything to do with Dylan going missing? 560 00:31:29,811 --> 00:31:31,771 I was extremely fond of Dylan. 561 00:31:31,811 --> 00:31:34,131 Manolito has told me... 562 00:31:34,171 --> 00:31:36,971 that he rescued him from the back of that fucking car boot! 563 00:31:37,011 --> 00:31:39,171 And you believe him? Yes! 564 00:31:39,211 --> 00:31:42,611 How very naive of you, Vincent. 565 00:31:42,651 --> 00:31:45,491 I've had a fucking text from Dylan himself! 566 00:31:45,531 --> 00:31:47,891 I fucking know it was you, Davey. 567 00:31:52,211 --> 00:31:54,331 Do not fuck with her. 568 00:32:00,211 --> 00:32:02,531 Fucking... Fuck's sake... 569 00:32:04,251 --> 00:32:06,771 I hope you were trying to make him see sense 570 00:32:06,811 --> 00:32:09,331 and not just poncing about. 571 00:32:09,371 --> 00:32:11,611 Slowly, slowly, catchee monkey. 572 00:32:12,851 --> 00:32:15,091 What the fuck does that mean? 573 00:32:15,131 --> 00:32:18,371 I've got some intel... about the pretty one. 574 00:32:27,171 --> 00:32:29,291 Still fucking here? 575 00:32:29,331 --> 00:32:33,531 Heartbroken or not, I've fucking had enough of this! 576 00:32:40,091 --> 00:32:42,211 Oh, yeah? 577 00:32:42,251 --> 00:32:44,131 Oh, fuck... 578 00:32:44,171 --> 00:32:46,211 If you got rid of them all, 579 00:32:46,251 --> 00:32:48,411 why are you still in my fucking loft? 580 00:32:48,451 --> 00:32:51,731 I like it up here. It stinks of rat piss! 581 00:32:51,771 --> 00:32:53,571 You lot, you've... you've been so good to me. 582 00:32:53,611 --> 00:32:57,251 You know, cleaning my house, and that, you know, and... 583 00:32:57,291 --> 00:33:00,931 and our little chats. You mean me shouting at you? 584 00:33:00,971 --> 00:33:04,171 It's been a long time since I've had this kind of connection with someone. 585 00:33:04,211 --> 00:33:06,811 Hey, we do not have a connection! 586 00:33:06,851 --> 00:33:08,491 And you know, my house, it's just.. 587 00:33:09,611 --> 00:33:10,851 It's too much, innit? 588 00:33:10,891 --> 00:33:14,131 You know, it's noisy and it's chaotic and... 589 00:33:15,371 --> 00:33:18,051 Well, up here in your little attic, I've... 590 00:33:19,131 --> 00:33:21,091 ..I've found peace. 591 00:33:21,131 --> 00:33:23,291 I'm not ready to let it go just yet. 592 00:33:24,731 --> 00:33:27,331 She really did a number on you, didn't she? 593 00:33:29,851 --> 00:33:33,571 Hey, peace is up here. 594 00:33:34,971 --> 00:33:39,691 What you need is some closure. Mm...Maybe... 595 00:33:40,891 --> 00:33:42,691 ..post a turd through her letterbox 596 00:33:42,731 --> 00:33:45,211 and tell her how much of a whore she was for ruining your life! 597 00:33:45,251 --> 00:33:48,371 I always hope one day that I'll, you know, win her back. 598 00:33:49,651 --> 00:33:53,211 Maybe not the turd thing then, 'ey? I never stopped loving her, Jim. 599 00:33:54,531 --> 00:33:57,451 It's her face I see in every single rat that I kill. 600 00:33:57,491 --> 00:34:00,651 Don't tell her that, either. 601 00:34:00,691 --> 00:34:06,091 Hey, the girls have probably cleared your house by now. 602 00:34:06,131 --> 00:34:08,531 Yeah. You should go home. 603 00:34:08,571 --> 00:34:11,811 Aye. Have a shower... 604 00:34:13,371 --> 00:34:15,971 ..and put a fucking shirt on... 605 00:34:17,091 --> 00:34:19,291 ..and see how you feel. 606 00:34:20,771 --> 00:34:22,771 Come here. 607 00:34:23,731 --> 00:34:25,411 # T REX: Cosmic Dancer 608 00:34:25,451 --> 00:34:27,211 # I was dancing when I was 12 609 00:34:27,251 --> 00:34:28,771 BFF, bro. 610 00:34:28,811 --> 00:34:30,931 BFF. 611 00:34:30,971 --> 00:34:33,851 # I was dancing when I was 12 # 612 00:34:33,891 --> 00:34:37,571 Ha, ha! I knew it. I fucking knew it! 613 00:34:37,611 --> 00:34:40,131 Bones! CLARA MARIE: You know nothing, you fucking idiot. 614 00:34:41,131 --> 00:34:43,251 What's she doing here? We asked her to come. 615 00:34:43,291 --> 00:34:45,371 She's got something to tell you about the map. 616 00:34:45,411 --> 00:34:47,451 Whatever you think is going on, it isn't. 617 00:34:48,451 --> 00:34:50,211 What I think is going on is, 618 00:34:50,251 --> 00:34:52,891 I need to reunite this bit of flesh with these bones, 619 00:34:52,931 --> 00:34:56,171 so the poor lost soul they belonged to won't wreak revenge from beyond the grave. 620 00:34:56,211 --> 00:34:57,291 Obvious, in't it? 621 00:35:00,251 --> 00:35:02,811 Well, if not, why have I found a load of bones here, then? 622 00:35:02,851 --> 00:35:06,051 It's a pub garden - probably chicken bones from a barbecue. 623 00:35:06,091 --> 00:35:08,491 No, no, no, no, no. That could be her foot bone, mate! 624 00:35:08,531 --> 00:35:11,011 Ha, ha, ha! I'm doing it. I'm doing it. 625 00:35:11,051 --> 00:35:14,491 No, no, no! Stop burying my map. Stop it! What do you mean, "your map"? 626 00:35:14,531 --> 00:35:17,771 My map. Moira Plum was my lover. 627 00:35:17,811 --> 00:35:20,571 Moira? What, the Rat Catcher's auntie? 628 00:35:20,611 --> 00:35:23,371 Why was she drawing nipples on maps for you? 629 00:35:23,411 --> 00:35:25,811 She was my lover and my teacher. 630 00:35:25,851 --> 00:35:26,931 We've all been there. 631 00:35:26,971 --> 00:35:30,611 I used to have a fella came round and teach me maths - Mr Mackintosh. 632 00:35:30,651 --> 00:35:33,811 He taught me a fair few more things than maths, I tell you that much! 633 00:35:33,851 --> 00:35:35,931 No, not a schoolteacher! 634 00:35:35,971 --> 00:35:38,891 She was a clairvoyant - my mentor. 635 00:35:38,931 --> 00:35:40,171 That map was a gift for me... 636 00:35:41,451 --> 00:35:44,051 ..but we had a huge row and never spoke again so... 637 00:35:44,091 --> 00:35:48,171 Hang on. So your clairvoyant ex-lover... 638 00:35:48,211 --> 00:35:50,211 drew you a map on human skin? 639 00:35:51,091 --> 00:35:54,171 Yeah, we were always doing fun stuff like that. 640 00:35:54,211 --> 00:35:56,851 It's esoteric, innit? I mean, it also a bit weird. 641 00:35:56,891 --> 00:35:59,451 Parking all that, where's the treasure?Treasure? 642 00:35:59,491 --> 00:36:01,571 "X marks the spot"? Coins, and all that? 643 00:36:01,611 --> 00:36:02,731 No, that's not treasure! 644 00:36:04,411 --> 00:36:07,411 The "X" marks Moira's favourite erogenous zone on my body. 645 00:36:08,531 --> 00:36:10,891 You know, just inside the "lady garden". 646 00:36:12,851 --> 00:36:16,571 Yeah, so the treasure she wanted me to find was my own... 647 00:36:16,611 --> 00:36:19,371 you know... No, I don't know. 648 00:36:19,411 --> 00:36:22,091 She means her G-spot, Cardi! Oh. 649 00:36:23,771 --> 00:36:26,571 Give her that. Give me it. 650 00:36:26,611 --> 00:36:28,731 I tell you what, Ashley, Cardi... 651 00:36:29,691 --> 00:36:32,171 I'm just gonna say this and I'm gonna say it out loud, right? 652 00:36:32,211 --> 00:36:34,251 If I go and do any drugs again, just stop me. 653 00:36:34,291 --> 00:36:35,571 Just fucking stop me. 654 00:36:35,611 --> 00:36:39,011 Right. 655 00:36:43,291 --> 00:36:44,411 Thank you, Jim. 656 00:36:45,371 --> 00:36:48,291 Don't you fucking dare tell them that I was nice to you. 657 00:36:49,731 --> 00:36:53,531 Now fuck off! 658 00:36:59,691 --> 00:37:01,691 Sorry we didn't find the ring, Carol. 659 00:37:01,731 --> 00:37:03,811 Ah, do you know what, Erin? Doesn't matter. 660 00:37:03,851 --> 00:37:06,651 She would have been very proud of us now, with this deep clean.Yeah! 661 00:37:06,691 --> 00:37:09,451 Shit...There he is. 662 00:37:11,611 --> 00:37:13,851 Good deeds are repaid.Hmm... Here we go. 663 00:37:15,251 --> 00:37:16,811 ALL: # Ta-daa! # 664 00:37:16,851 --> 00:37:18,811 What the fuck! 665 00:37:19,971 --> 00:37:22,971 Oh, my God! 666 00:37:24,611 --> 00:37:27,011 Sweet Auntie Moira. 667 00:37:27,051 --> 00:37:29,251 It's amazing. 668 00:37:33,971 --> 00:37:37,011 What's that smell? Citrus detergent.Fresh. 669 00:37:37,051 --> 00:37:39,371 The smell of clean, innit? ALL: Mm-hm. 670 00:37:39,411 --> 00:37:40,971 Bloody hell, I could get used to this. 671 00:37:41,011 --> 00:37:44,131 How can I ever repay you? Ah, don't worry about it. 672 00:37:44,171 --> 00:37:47,851 And after finding this box of cock rings, we're sorted. 673 00:37:47,891 --> 00:37:50,571 I'm happy.I were looking everywhere for them the other day. 674 00:37:52,371 --> 00:37:53,451 'Ere... 675 00:37:54,691 --> 00:37:57,251 A fan sent me this years ago with a letter. 676 00:37:58,131 --> 00:38:00,091 It meant a lot at the time. 677 00:38:04,171 --> 00:38:06,651 You have it...as a "thank you". 678 00:38:08,211 --> 00:38:09,931 Thank you. Thanks very much. 679 00:38:11,131 --> 00:38:13,811 I know it is. 680 00:38:13,851 --> 00:38:16,171 It's been on his hand the whole fucking time! 681 00:38:16,211 --> 00:38:18,651 Oh, pardon fucking me for not inspecting the man's hands! 682 00:38:18,691 --> 00:38:21,771 For fuck's sake, Carol. Oh, shut up, the pair of you. Ladies? Ladies... 683 00:38:23,371 --> 00:38:25,251 Can we have a group hug? 684 00:38:25,291 --> 00:38:27,451 OK.... 685 00:38:29,491 --> 00:38:32,011 Oh... Is that rat piss?Yeah. 686 00:38:32,051 --> 00:38:34,851 Mmm, it's nice. Just breathe in. 687 00:38:34,891 --> 00:38:36,731 Bugger... 688 00:38:39,691 --> 00:38:41,771 Thank the girls for me again, will you? 689 00:38:43,411 --> 00:38:45,651 They didn't just clear my house, they cleared my head. 690 00:38:45,691 --> 00:38:48,291 Mm! 691 00:38:48,331 --> 00:38:52,851 A wise man once said that peace is up there, man. 692 00:38:52,891 --> 00:38:54,971 Yeah, well, he's fucking right. 693 00:38:55,851 --> 00:38:58,851 I think it also involves not having a shitload of crap in your house 694 00:38:58,891 --> 00:39:01,171 driving you insane, do you know what I mean?Mm. 695 00:39:01,971 --> 00:39:04,531 Good lad. One love, bruv. 696 00:39:06,611 --> 00:39:08,811 'Ey, 'ey, 'ey, 'ey, 'ey. Listen. 697 00:39:11,451 --> 00:39:14,251 I'm gonna be thinking about you. 698 00:39:14,291 --> 00:39:16,531 Go on, get gone. 699 00:39:18,051 --> 00:39:20,051 # JEFF BUCKLEY: Lover, You Should've Come Over 700 00:39:22,291 --> 00:39:24,211 Fucking handsome! 701 00:39:30,051 --> 00:39:32,171 # Looking out the door 702 00:39:32,211 --> 00:39:34,211 # I see the rain 703 00:39:34,251 --> 00:39:38,251 # Fall upon the funeral mourners 704 00:39:38,291 --> 00:39:40,291 Curtis Plum. 705 00:39:41,371 --> 00:39:45,011 I'm sorry, Gina...for everything. 706 00:39:51,811 --> 00:39:53,451 They're real. 707 00:39:55,451 --> 00:39:58,091 # Maybe I'm too young 708 00:39:59,771 --> 00:40:03,451 # To keep good love from going wrong Wait. 709 00:40:03,491 --> 00:40:04,851 Curtis... 710 00:40:04,891 --> 00:40:07,971 # Too deaf, dumb and blind to see 711 00:40:08,011 --> 00:40:10,411 # The damage I've done Oh, God! 712 00:40:10,451 --> 00:40:13,331 # Sweet lover 713 00:40:13,371 --> 00:40:15,051 Oh, fuckin' hell. Fuck me... 714 00:40:15,091 --> 00:40:19,771 Oh!What? Get in... Fuck! Get in the house! 715 00:40:19,811 --> 00:40:22,771 Christ, I wish I had a libido like that. 716 00:40:22,811 --> 00:40:25,531 # Lover, lover, lover 717 00:40:25,571 --> 00:40:28,411 # Lover, love, love 718 00:40:28,451 --> 00:40:31,731 # Love, love, love, love, love 719 00:40:33,291 --> 00:40:38,331 # Lo-o-o-o-over # 720 00:40:42,731 --> 00:40:44,931 AUTOMATED VOICE: "The person you are calling has..." 721 00:40:44,971 --> 00:40:47,011 Fuck! 722 00:40:48,131 --> 00:40:51,131 For fuck's sake... 723 00:40:53,411 --> 00:40:56,211 CARDI: Yoda's had her caravan nicked.Shit! 724 00:40:56,251 --> 00:40:57,851 Shocking business, this is! 725 00:40:57,891 --> 00:41:00,651 I want to offer ten grand for its return. 726 00:41:00,691 --> 00:41:03,931 He probably stashed all his fortune in it.That's what it is! 727 00:41:03,971 --> 00:41:07,331 It's definitely the McGuigans. They must've hid it up behind that hill there. 728 00:41:07,371 --> 00:41:10,171 # WOMAN: Bastard! 729 00:41:12,771 --> 00:41:17,331 What the fuck? 730 00:41:18,811 --> 00:41:21,971 # SIR JOE QUARTERMAN: So Much Trouble In My Mind 731 00:41:22,011 --> 00:41:24,971 # I got so much trouble in my mind 732 00:41:26,051 --> 00:41:29,131 # I got so much trouble in my mind 733 00:41:30,171 --> 00:41:33,211 # I got so much trouble in my mind 734 00:41:34,811 --> 00:41:37,131 # Give me the strength to carry on 735 00:41:38,811 --> 00:41:41,771 # Give me the strength to carry on 736 00:41:43,051 --> 00:41:45,811 # Cos everything I got is just about gone #